8 month old only sleeps with bottle...Controlled Crying? Help!

(26 Posts)
thrifttwig Thu 01-May-14 14:20:37

My 8 month old ds can only go to sleep by bottle or rocking. I am now aware what a bad habit I have created as he is waking every 2 hours through the night for a bottle. I am completely shattered and really know he does not need the milk as he only has 1-2ozs then falls back to sleep. I have asked advice from a few people and most seem to say cc is the way forward.
My sis-in-law recommended water in bottle which I tried and resulted in over an hour of screaming until I gave in and gave him milk.
He is a really cuddly boy and the day after I honestly felt him having trust issues with me....Can anyone please help, I really dont want to continue like this but really dont want to do cc. Will he just grow out of it? (wishful thinking)
Daytime naps are fine and he loves his cot we have never had him in our bed.

EmmaLL25 Thu 01-May-14 17:37:08

Is he taking much from bottle - he could be genuinely hungry and need it.

If he's sucking for comfort would a dummy work.

The No Cry Sleep Solution offers gentler methods than CC to help your baby learn to settle. CC certainly not only option and not for every baby.

If you google ISIS it has lots of good info about baby sleep and how normal night wakings are for babies for a year and beyond. Just in case you think your baby is the exception to all the others that are sleeping through (they aren't!).

NCSS certainly helped us break bf to sleep association and it has tips for bottle feeding too.

thrifttwig Thu 01-May-14 19:33:29

no he defiantly isn't hungry...easily takes 6-7ozs per bottle and barely taking 1-2ozs before falling asleep. He never accepted a dummy I tried from birth and always spat back out. I tried a few nights ago with one and he just laughed and played with it!
Thanks for the tips ill take a look and fingers crossed.

stillhopefulforanother Thu 01-May-14 20:00:22

I'm in a similar position here but BF. I really want to break the association of feeding to sleep at night time and also during the night.

I too am waking every two hours and I'm getting poorly with it and really low.

I can't bear the thought of Cc and would rather carry on I like this than put us through that stress.

Baby is 7.5 months and transitioning to two naps. I am waiting to get these established and then I was thinking of tackling naps hoping it will lead to an improvement in night time sleep.

However, my son learnt to go to sleep of his is own accord in his own time. I'm holding onto the same hope with my Dd, but she's further behind the progress curve than he was.

Perhaps we can hand hold?

sososotired Thu 01-May-14 20:45:28

My DS is 8 months old and CC is the worst thing I have ever done to him it resulted in real anxiety from him with regards to being along I also developed serious PND because I used to feed him to sleep but replaced it with a cuddle and a dummy, which is still how we fall asleep at nap times and at bed time he has a bottle and I put him down drowsy and he falls asleep in bed by himself we still wake for feeds but generally only 2!

He will grow out of it though just no guarantee when!

sososotired Thu 01-May-14 20:49:22

Ps I changed his routine around to help at first so fed him, bath then a story and bed it helped break the association with his bottle and going to sleep!

beccajoh Thu 01-May-14 20:54:14

My daughter did this. She originally bf to sleep and then when I moved onto formula at 7 months she then did the same with bottles. Definitely try and read no cry sleep solution if you can. CC might work but it might not. We tried it at about that age and it didn't work. Well, she got so distressed within just a couple of minutes we stopped immediately. Tried again (sheer desperation one night) when she was 15 months and she screamed bloody murder (definitely an angry cry rather than any real distress) for 4x5 mins and then she went to sleep and we've not looked back.

stillhopefulforanother Thu 01-May-14 20:54:18

Thanks for sharing so tired. I think I am going to get DD on a bottle and then alter the order of things. I like that idea. A cuddle and a rock somehow dosnt seem as bad as feeding to sleep (maybe I'm deluded).

It's a gradual process but feel better just having a plan.

sososotired Thu 01-May-14 21:12:18

It took about 2 weeks for us to get where we are now I'm happy giving him a cuddle at nap times it's some bonding time in my mind?

With regards to night feeds they dropped down once is new routine was in place!
Hang in there it will get better!

Mamabear12 Fri 02-May-14 01:19:10

I think you will have to do controlled crying....I am going to have to start soon I think, as my son usually wakes 2 times and is 6 months. I said I would try at 6 months...but now I think I might wait a little longer. He usually only drinks 2 oz at around 11pm and wakes again around 3am...where i just put dummy in and he goes back to sleep usually and he might even wake again at 5am only to drink 1 or 2 oz! So frustrating!

EmmaLL25 Fri 02-May-14 08:09:43

Health visitors - normally huge proponents of CC - now are recommending that it isn't done until 12 months. This is going by other people's posts on other threads.

Every time we get a good spell it gets worse when LO is teething, ill, going through change.

We're hitting better spell again without changing anything.

thrifttwig Fri 02-May-14 10:30:26

Well last night went better than expected! Instead of bottle every 2 hours we rocked and cuddled for up to 5 mins and put back in cot. He went back down fine apart from once at 3am where clearly needed a feed. I know that seems like replacing one crutch with another but hopefully he will learn that the comfort is there and he doesnt need to wake?? stillhopefullforanother of course hand holding all the way! sosotired thanks for reassurance my mum has had 8 of us and we all grew out of BF to sleep so heres hoping to soon......Thanks to you all, ill update on progress.

charlied2002 Fri 02-May-14 10:33:08

Hi, I would also suggest NCSS rather than CC - I'm not a fan of leaving little ones to cry alone. I know some people say it works brilliantly but just as many seem to say that it didn't work/had to be repeated again and again/caused more problems than it solved! There are other, gentler ways to try and cure sleep problems. I also agree with EmmaLL25 that there will be good spells and bad spells of sleep - we are currently going through a bad spell at just over 2yrs!

You could try reducing the milk until the bottle is virtually empty or mixing the milk with a little water and slowly increasing the amount of water until it is just water in the bottle.

Otherwise I would prepare for a couple of terrible nights (try and arrange for someone to have DS the next morning or day), and set up a bed next to his cot. Then when he wakes up for his bottle, keep gently saying no bottle, back to sleep now. You can show him what to do by lying back down and pretending to go to sleep yourself. He will get very upset, but at least you are there to comfort and reassure him. Remember that he will go back to sleep eventually!

The main thing is not to give in after an hour or two (or three!) and give him a bottle. You could offer him water in a non spill sippy cup instead?

sazzle82 Fri 02-May-14 10:45:41

I'm going through the same thing, dd is bf and we are currently moving to mix fed. She still wakes 3 times for feeds and stirs quite a few times more each night at 7.5 months.

My routine at bedtime is bath, story, feed, bed. Sometimes she falls asleep on the boob (although we have now switched to a bottle at bedtime).

I've been told that the issue is strong associations with milk and sleep and that to rectify this I need to switch the bath and feed at bedtime. Rather than do this all in one go I've been advised to do it over a few nights by giving her 1oz of milk before the bath on night one and the rest (eg 6oz) after the bath, night 2 do 2oz and 5oz etc until the whole feed is before the bath (with bf do it by minutes, 1min/9 min, 2min/8min etc). They might still need all the other associations to start with when they wake (cuddles etc) but should start to be able to self settle.

I haven't started it yet as we've been switching the bed feed to bottles and I didn't want to throw too much at her at once, but after being up every hour last night, I'm going to start it tonight.

thrifttwig Fri 02-May-14 14:56:22

I have read NCSS and this is much more realistic for me to do. I genuinely cannot bear the thought of CC! I really don't expect ds to go through night (would be amazing!) but every two hours is too much. Ill see how we go next couple of nights then if no improvement pantley pull off it is!

sososotired Fri 02-May-14 15:04:39

That's how we started with replacing his bottles with cuddles and his dummy! It's a start he will get the hang of it ;) x

thrifttwig Fri 02-May-14 20:07:14

sososo tired you have made me a happy lady! given me some hope which I thought was long gone!

sososotired Fri 02-May-14 20:39:10

Good luck for tonight!!

We have good night and bad nights but he hasn't managed to sleep through the night but i feel that he will do that when he's ready! The more pressure I put on the situation the less I can cope! blush

Let us know how you get on!!

carolinementzer Fri 02-May-14 21:29:19

My DD was the same but with breastfeeding - needless to say I was knackered after 15 months of being a human dummy. In the end we had to do 'cry with daddy' - In otherwords my husband went instead of me. After a few nights she slept 9 hours straight then it got longer over the next few weeks.

Here's my blog post on how it worked if you're interested - Good luck!

mydaughterwontsleep.com/2014/02/06/is-breast-best-when-it-comes-to-sleep-apparently-not/

sososotired Sun 04-May-14 06:37:09

thrifttwig how are you getting on?

Just maybe some encouragement or hope,
I decided last light that DS woke for no real reason so I didn't offer him a bottle I gave him his dummy and sat next to his cot holding his hand until he went back to sleep took only 15 mins and he slep through to the morning! 1am-6am
It was great! But what I'm getting at is that he basically did it with just encouragement no Cc no special tricks just patients and I'm sure your DC will do the same!

carolinementzer found your blog handy!!

thrifttwig Sun 04-May-14 10:51:20

sososotired
we have had a couple of bad nights im afraid sad He has gone from waking every 2 hours for a bottle to every hour for a cuddle/rock, and starts screaming once i try to put him back in his cot (which he never does)
I really hope im not replacing one crutch for another and making it worse?? There is a possibility he is cutting his top teeth as he did the screaming when put down thing when he was cutting his bottom two....oh how easy to blame everything on teething!
I have ordered the NCSS book off Ebay and when it comes think im gonna try it as seems to really tackle the sucking/sleep issue and isnt just a blanket approach to sleep training (heres hoping? wishful thinking?)
Well done on your successful night fingers crossed it continues.
Keep me posted smile

sososotired Sun 04-May-14 14:35:01

Oh no! I'm sorry that your having a bad time!
I hope that you have some success soon!
Keep chatting if it makes you feel better!

sososotired Mon 05-May-14 08:53:19

How did he get on last night?

We had a terrible night but not DS's fault drunk loud youths on the estate, so he was woken up 4/5 times angry
I was so looking forward to some sleep aswell!

thrifttwig Wed 07-May-14 14:31:29

Hi
not been on for few days as soooooo sleep deprived sad 3 nights of hell then last night only woke at 1 and 4am! Really hope its not a fluke and will continue so nice not to wake with a migraine!
I feel your pain I live in a basement flat and people upstairs are so noisy!! DS has learnt to sleep through noise but even he wakes to 10 people singing happy birthday and jumping up and down!! since when do you jump up and down when singing happy birthday!?!

sososotired Wed 07-May-14 16:08:37

Glad you got some sleep!!
Must be something in the water! We Only woke at 12:30 for a feed and that was it so getting up for work wasn't Too bad today!!

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