Help with 9mo DS's napping

[LackingCommonSense]

Hi all

I'm pretty sure DS should be dropping his third nap, but I don't know how to go from here!

Any advice I've read suggests aiming for a nap at 9am, then another at 1pm (based on a 7,7 routine), which we can sometimes manage (but to be honest, it's usually more like 1230) but DS never seems to have a decent afternoon nap, it's usually half hour, 45mins so he's up by 2pm at the latest. There's no way will he'll last until bedtime. He's now very reluctant to go down for a third catnap despite being completely knackered, so what do I do? We've been putting him to bed early more often than not, but this is actually very difficult for us both due to working hours. 99% if the time bedtime is a meltdown (for him to not cry after his bath is so rare, we worry he won't go to sleep if it does happen!)

Our 'routine' goes something like this:

630, 7 - wakes up
830, 9 until 10, half 10 - morning nap
1230, 1 for around half hour, hour max (he seems to like waking at half 1 for some reason)
3, half 3 - tired again, grumpy/clingy/whingy. Try and get him to catnap which seems to be taking until 4, let him sleep until half past.
630, 7 (aiming for 7, half 7 really) - bed.

If we go out during the day, or someone else is looking after him it all goes to pot. I'm finding the whole thing really quite stressful and I find I can't relax if his naps are bad because I know what's coming.

Anyone have any advice/relevant anecdotes? Or can someone please tell me to chill the f**k out and just go with the flow?! (I struggle with that approach!) Help!

[NotMrsTumble]

I think if you try to cut the morning nap to 45 mins and wake him no later than 10, then early lunch and nap around 12:30 then he should hopefully be more tired at lunchtime and get past the first sleep cycle without waking.

I need to drop ds2s morning nap (he's now 1) but am putting it off as he's unwell and I like going back to bed for a nap myself at 9 am

Is it worth trying to settle him if he wakes early from his nap? even if you have to snuggle him in and nap with him - ds2 had a similar issue at around 9 months - possibly to do with increased mobility/crawling?

DS 2 now much better at napping so hopefully light at the end of the tunnel.

[NeatFreak]

My dd is 9 months and not dissimilar. She wakes once in the night and gets up around 630. She then naps about 9 for 20 minutes and again at 1 but will only nap for a long time if I lie with her; as soon as I leave she wakes up. I've been lying on my bed with her since 1.15!! Sorry no advice but lots of sympathy and hoping to piggy back onto a miracle cure!

[LackingCommonSense]

Thanks both. NotMrsTumble, I'll try waking him after his morning nap. I hate waking him to be honest, but needs must. I've tried re-settling him but it rarely works. Up until now, him waking at half 1 worked out quite well for him to have a third catnap later.

It's happened again today except earlier as he was up too early. He woke up from his second nap (half hour) at 1145, knackered at half 1, took 'til 2 to get him down for a third nap which lasted half hour. I've just spent 20 mins trying to get him back to sleep..he dropped off, I put him down, he woke, he cried. He's still knackered.

Honestly, I'm sick to death of stressing about f**king naps. I wish it didn't impact my nights sleep so much to just let him do whatever.

[NeatFreak]

I can say with certainty that it really won't last forever as my dd is number 3 and they've all gone through phases like that! She is now awake and happy as can be but stretching out to 7 is difficult- an extra nap makes bedtime impossible for the opposite reason! I think around 10 months sees a big development with crawling, talking etc and when that's over they often sleep better

[LackingCommonSense]

Thanks NeatFreak. I remember not too long ago I thought I'd never be able to put him down to sleep so I do keep reminding myself of the 'this too shall pass'mantra. Fingers crossed it settles around 10mo then!

[NotMrsTumble]

how's it going LackingCommonSense ? Really hoping things are improving. DS2's naps definitely improved once he'd nailed the crawling thing & it's really frustrating not being sure they'll stay asleep as long as they need to.

[LackingCommonSense]

He's actually come down with a bug since posting so haven't pushed anything! He's ended up in bed with me at night too so anticipating a battle on my hands.

Despite being ill, he's only slept 45mins first thing and half hour at lunch then still fought an afternoon nap! Here's hoping the incredibly bad napping is due to the bug?!

[LackingCommonSense]

We've had accidental success today! fell asleep in the pram at 920 this morning and woke up at 10, we kept him up til 2 and he slept til 1510 so we're pleased. Luckily he's in good spirits today as he's over his bug so stretching him til 2 was ok. Will be interesting to see how he sleeps tonight now.