Getting so fed up

(5 Posts)
Orangeisthenewbanana Mon 31-Mar-14 07:47:04

Started writing this at 5am this morning but lost it sad. The last few weeks DD (14 months) has been waking about 4 nights a week between 2 and 3am and taking around 2 hours to settle. We try holding & rocking, patting & shhhing, holding her in our bed, her lying in our bed, sitting/lying next to the cot and, as a last resort, a bottle. Each night, different things seem to work, or sometimes none of them. We only move onto the next thing when it's obvious she's not becoming drowsy or going to drop off with whatever we're currently trying.

She started nursery about a month ago, has had numerous colds since, is teething, getting close to walking - all good reasons for disturbances & why I'm not really keen to let her CIO. However, I also wonder if she does know how to fall back to sleep herself. At bedtime we hold & rock briefly (couple of minutes), then put her down & pat to sleep. If I try to leave before she's asleep she screams and sits up immediately. I feel this is what I probably need to work on but am unsure how if she sits up & cries the second I move away from the cot. And the bedtime routine doesn't necessarily work overnight. Just don't know where to start. Any advice much appreciated.

mumatwork999 Mon 31-Mar-14 21:30:39

Oh, I remember very well the 'trying to creep away from the cot' stage! I was sure my LO could tell when I was just thinking about going, before I'd even moved!!

I used Ewan the Sleep Sheep soft toy which has music and a soft light in its tummy with my LO and it did seem to help a bit and if nothing else gave me something to take my mind off the fact I had to be up for work in 3 hours! A bit pricey but worth the money. I put in on during bedtime cuddles after story and used it when waking in the night. Always cuddled on same (rocking) chair whatever stupid-o-clock time it was. I also had a few stock phrases which I only kept for 3am slots (and no they didn't include swearing grin just reassuring noises about sleepy time, mummy's just next door, etc) and even wore the same dressing gown (I was desperate, looking back!).

Not sure if any of this really worked or if DS just grew out of it. I never did the CIO (just found it too upsetting the whole twice I tried) but always went and patted, cuddled. This was just what I felt was right, but I know lots of other parents use CIO successfully, so go with your gut feeling on this one.

It felt like an eternity when it was happening but in the end the phase was over in about 2 months. A tough 2 months though for everyone. Don't despair, it will get better!

Orangeisthenewbanana Wed 02-Apr-14 03:11:38

I finally caved tonight. I let my baby cry herself to sleep sad.

She woke at 11, just as I was going to bed & i've spent the last 4 hours sat/laying by the side of her cot. Three or four times she's seemed asleep, only to start crying 2 minutes after I'd snuck out & got back into bed. I was just so tired & frustrated. 4 hours of me being up, trying everything I could think of - I just couldn't face starting the whole process again. She cried for 10-15 minutes & is now asleep but I feel awful & can't stop crying. Feel so guilty sad.

TanteRose Wed 02-Apr-14 03:27:41

Aw, don't cry sad

Parenting is all about feeling guilty about something - you just have to roll with it, sigh and move on to the next thing you will no doubt feel guilty about...

But anyway....she's asleep - result!!

hope you can have a few hours kip before you have to get up smile

Orangeisthenewbanana Wed 02-Apr-14 06:59:45

Thanks Tante Still feel a bit guilty but I just got to the point where I had to get some sleep. DH's sciatica is playing up at present so he couldn't really do anything to help, where he normally would give me a break for half an hour here & there on nights like those. Don't think that helped things last night either. I feel slightly better knowing I tried everything first and now just have to get through the day without falling asleep on my desk!

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