Had enough, need help

(19 Posts)
capet Wed 19-Feb-14 10:28:31

Need some help
Ds (pfb) is nearly 5 months old EBF and for at least the past month has not been sleeping for longer than max 3 hours in a row, mostly at night he wakes every hour. He doesn't self settle at all,needs to be held to go to sleep.

I know bad habits/rod for own back etc.

Am reaching my limit, utterly wrecked. Doesn't help that when trying o get him to sleep he generally roars for min of ten mins before clonking out- I know that sometimes this is because he's over tired, but even when he isn't he gets really upset before going to sleep.

He has no real routine that is the same everyday but normally he sleeps for 2 hours or so in morning and 1-2 in afternoon with catnap around 5/6 and goes to bed around 8-9, after bath etc.

capet Wed 19-Feb-14 10:30:05

What can I do?

I've had to just put him in his jumperoo and make myself a coffee this morning because he would not go to sleep-he gets up at 7, so is tired coming up to 9 but every time I put him in his cot he wakes up shouting. Aaagghhh

Not keen to CIO.

Is there anything else I can try?

capet Wed 19-Feb-14 10:32:36

Oh and before this he used to sleep from 10-3 or so.
I'm not looking for 7-7 sleeping or anything just four hours or so in a row so I can sort of function!

Initially I thought 4 month sleep regression?? But now I just think when will it end??

mrsspagbol Wed 19-Feb-14 10:34:55

I am no expert but hear the desperation in your post and wanted to give you flowers.

At 5 month old my DD actually slept (see today's post now she is 7 months and all hell has broken loose), and what helped me at that stage was a routine. So naps at the same time every single day. That was when she started doing 5 hours or so.

Then she got teeth and wanted to crawl and it all went to sh*t, sorry.

Could your DS be teething? Baby nurofen before bed got us some better nights when it was bad.

capet Wed 19-Feb-14 10:48:31

Yeah think he's probably teething-loads of drool, hands in mouth, red swollen gums etc and give him nurofen but it doesn't seem to make any difference?!
Also teething could go on for months? Maybe there is no end to this?! Aagghh
I am now thinking maybe solids would help, but then perhaps I am just looking for a miracle cure and none exists??

At least I have taken extended leave because couldn't imagine facing into work after nights like these

capet Wed 19-Feb-14 10:50:32

Thanks for suggestions though.
And it helps to hear someone else's baby doesn't sleep through.

It doesn't help when my husband comes home from work with tales of other people's amazing sleeping babies. I tell myself these people are obviously lying to make myself feel better!

HJBeans Wed 19-Feb-14 15:25:05

No helpful ideas, but in just the same situation with our six month old. Don't want to do CIO and don't think I could, but waking sometimes many times each hour at night. Has been bad since 4 month and we are zombies, feel like rubbish parents for feeling so frustrated, and utterly at a loss. Does solidarity help? Xx

AmIGoingMad Wed 19-Feb-14 15:45:19

I feel your pain! Dd 7.5 months. She was great at night first few months but would only sleep on me in the day. The day thing hasn't changed. But night has- she won't sleep in cot and hasn't wanted to since about 5 months. About a month ago we gave in and took her into bed with us. When there she'll sleep right through. But we can't go on like this- its ridiculous!
We're hoping to try to get her into her own room over the next week- sleepless nights here we go again!

It's ridiculous isn't it!!!

Gingeroo Wed 19-Feb-14 16:11:18

Just wanted to let you know that my EBF son was exactly like that except he was also shit at napping during the day cue hours of pushing the pram up and down the hallway just to get him to sleep.

It probably went on until he was nearly 7mo and then he just sort of stopped and got loads better.

He's 9mo now and pretty much sleeps through without fail. (I've probably jinxed myself now!)

It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel but it might just be a phase which he will get over.

malteser17 Wed 19-Feb-14 16:29:11

Hi capet. You have my sympathies. My 11mo DS didn't have any nap routine before he went to nursery at 5mo (when I went back to work) and it took another 2 months before he settled into any kind of nap routine. I would echo the other comments though of trying to get your DS to nap a couple of times a day at roughly the same time each day as that will help at night time. You could also try cutting out the cat nap at 6 and instead of putting him to bed at 8 or 9, get him in bed by 7 if that fits in with the rest of the evening for you.

The other things you could try are:
- No TV an hour before bed
- The same routine every evening: e.g. bath, change into PJs, two or three books and then a milk feed before bed
- Putting him in his own room if he's not already (sometimes sleeping in the same room as Mum and Dad can disturb our little ones more)

I know it's tempting to try solids but the guidelines are still to wait to 6 months if at all possible. You could also try reading the No Cry Sleep Solution which has some good suggestions in about putting them down in the cot when sleepy but not actually asleep. A friend of mine has also tried the pick-up, put-down method which requires patience but they can eventually get so fed up of being put down again that they eventually go to sleep!

Also I know it's possibly another rod for your own back but I pretty much feed my DS to sleep every night and when he wakes in the night. Again, it's not recommended and now at 11mo it's still me he wants two or three times a night but at least he mostly sleeps in between times.

Just remember though, "you can't give booze t'baby!" But a dose of Calpol/Calprofen before bed might not do him any harm if he's teething.

capet Wed 19-Feb-14 17:30:06

Well he's asleep at the minute (on me because I caved) and had two naps of about an hour or so each earlier in his cot.
He's wrecked too, in bad form and clingy, not happy being left on mat/jumperoo/anywhere really for any longer than 5 mins.

I'd rather put him to bed at 8ish as husband often isn't home from work til 7 and he does bath/bedtime so I can have a break! Plus he wouldn't see the baby at all really I he was in bed at 7. But maybe for my own sanity I might have to give it a go!

Have been flicking through gina ford/baby whisperer/save our sleep today in desperation. Having previously thought gina fords routines were ridiculous. In fairness I still probably amn't organised enough to follow it!

Good to hear of others in same boat and even better to hear of light and end of tunnel.
It's tough at times, and I did a lot of call with my work so am somewhat used to sleep deprivation but this has been incessant over past while.
Even when dh gets up to lift ds in night now the baby just roars and quitens when I hold him, so no break is forthcoming.
And yeah he's still in our room and it prob isn't helping him but 1. I'm lazy, and if he was still waking this frequently in his own room I'd probably end up in his cot with him or he would def end up in our bed! And 2. We had an attempted burglary a couple of months ago at night which freaked me out so would be (irrationally I know) worried about him if same were to happen again-realise I'll have to get over that!

capet Wed 19-Feb-14 17:35:07

Oh no longer asleep now, wide awake and bawling!
Oh and there was a massive escaping poo earlier amid all the upset.

Today is just not my day
Hopefully tonight/tomorrow are better!

parttimer79 Wed 19-Feb-14 18:04:45

I sympathise, in same situation. Our dd who is 6 months will nap in car, pram or sling but when we moved from Moses basket to cot all he'll broke lose and we ended up co sleeping sad
She is obviously sleeping enough as is happy and alert despite teething but I am exhausted.
Health visitor suggested gradual retreat, now I just need the energy to implement it!

capet Thu 20-Feb-14 00:21:21

And here I am holding him to go to sleep again.
He went to bed at eight after feed, woke at ten and fed some more and went back to sleep. Now just holding. Wouldn't settle in cot without being lifted however!
Ugh have tired headache and its only just after midnight!confused

AmIGoingMad Thu 20-Feb-14 14:40:54

How was the rest of your night capet?

Our dd went down ( in our bed- not good!) at 7.30 and I though great. She woke at 7.40 and refused to sleep. She was screaming! I tried nappy change, bottle, holding her, laying her down. I thought the neighbours might call the police with all the screaming. She finally gave in in my arms at 10.30- I held her for another half hr then we both went in my bed.

She's currently napping on me.

We can't go on like this.

I need her to sleep in her own cot a d just generally to sleep when she's tired!

Sorry to have talked about our situation so much but I just wanted you to know you're not alone. Although in different ways.

It must get better soon I'm sure!

capet Thu 20-Feb-14 17:47:57

Yes I hope it gets better at some point amigoingmad!
Last night wa not good!
Bed at 8, awake at 10,12,2,3.30,4.30 and then awake at 5.30 bright eyed and not willing to give going back to sleep another go!!
Luckily dh was off today so could help out.
The second half of the night was a bit of a blur!
And of course everyone, including the baby is tired and ratty today!

AmIGoingMad Thu 20-Feb-14 21:28:37

Oh my goodness you poor thing Capet! That is awful! I'm not really sure what to suggest as I'm certainly no expert but just wanted to post to give you some support.

That thread that was on sleep a while ago 'what worked for us' or something like that, seemed like it was really helpful for some. I think we're going to give the gradual retreat thing they talk about a go next week. Might be worth a try if you haven't already?

HJBeans Fri 21-Feb-14 20:08:04

we can't go on like this - this is precisely how I put it to the HV when I called to beg her to give me whatever support she was able to. And yet we do keep going on like this as there's no alternative. I'm beginning to feel quite desperate but it does help to read your posts and know it really isn't just us dealing with this. Good luck for tonight everyone.

capet Fri 21-Feb-14 20:29:47

Yeah there is some sort of comfort in hearing that other people are going through similar! He was the same again last night.
I think at this point I'm just getting used to being absolutely wrecked.
He had better naps today though and just conked out there at 8 o'clock so I'm hopeful that tonight is better!
Have to remain hopeful!!
Hope everyone else gets some sleep tonight!

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