Co-sleeping, fed-to-sleep 5 month old. How the hell do I get him to sleep in his cot? I'm exhausted

(6 Posts)
AtrociousCircumstance Mon 27-Jan-14 22:02:25

Hi,

My lovely little DS of 5 months will only sleep at night if fed to sleep. He then wakes up frequently and needs to be fed to sleep again. Throughout the night. We co-sleep to deal with his frequent wakings.

He has reflux which is in the mix somewhere. Is medicated though, he seems much better. But still wake and wakes.

He won't nap in the day unless fed to sleep and in my arms or in the buggy when we're out.

I don't get an evening because I have to go to bed with him and cosleep - he might sleep for 20 mins if I transfer him into the cot but it just doesn't seem worth it.

I am so tired and it's brought on a degree of pnd. I really want to learn how to teach him to settle in the cot but our attempts (staying with him while he lays in the cot and cries wildly) haven't worked. It was more than three hours of him being so upset each time we tried and I gave up and took him in with me.

Please - any ideas or advice would be so gratefully received.

Oh and he won't take a dummy, hates swaddling, is unmoved by white noise......he just wants the boob!

I'm losing my mind.....

I have a ds1 too, of 2 and a half, so I can't nap in the day either. Ds1's sleep was bad at first too but he took a dummy, was swaddled, I got him to nap in his cot at three months etc......little ds2 is much more hardcore!

Themymblesdaughter Tue 28-Jan-14 22:17:05

Hi. No advice i'm afraid but wanted to commiserate as i am in similar boat. My ds is 10 months and wont nap in the day unless its in the car, on the boob or in the pram. I have to just go to bed early with him every night as i cant even start him off in his own bed. He feeds all freaking night (despite being on plenty of solids in the day) and i literally feel drained. I also have 3 yr old dd who is a very light sleeper so i cant leave ds to cry even for couple of mins. He is also teething like mad which doesnt help so i'm thinking of just muddling through til he feels better but i am very uncomfortable all night and i think he probably is too. Sorry i cant suggest anything but i wanted you to know you arent alone!

ArtemisTheHunter Wed 29-Jan-14 00:40:16

There are many of us in a similar situation OP. hopefully someone will come along with some constructive advice but in the meantime you are definitely not alone!

AtrociousCircumstance Thu 30-Jan-14 20:18:08

Thank you mymbles and Artemis! It's insanely tough isn't it. I hope it improves for you both and you get some rest, somehow...!

Tonight we are going to try - well, I am going to try - to slide ds2 over into a bedside cot after feeding (DH assembled the cot and put it there earlier today). I'm not anticipating it working really but who knows? Am hoping it will irradiate the times when I disturb him....

So this is the first stage of our three stage plan, to take place over a number of weeks: 1) slide him into the bedside cot to introduce the idea of a little more distance, then, in a week or two, 2) do nighttime routine and put him in cot and stay with him comforting him while he inevitably screams sad, and then in time 3) do some rapid return and settle in his own room. Oh and then, when he's a champion sleeper hmm he can move in with ds1. So four stage.

Feeling bracingly pessimistic.....!

Themymblesdaughter Thu 30-Jan-14 22:07:54

That sounds good atrocious. I always mean to try something similar, but by the time i've got dd to sleep i just chicken out and go to sleep with him. My dh works odd hours so is very rarely home in the evening and i think i need both the extra support and the sort of motivation to go for it. I have tried during the day but he just cries for 10 mins so i go and retrieve him. Also i spend a lot of the day to and fro to preschool for dd so he just naps in the car. I find myself lying at baby groups because everyone else's baby seems to have no problem with their cot. Don't want to own up to the gigantic rod i have made for my own back! Good luck and please let me know how u get on!!

A bedside cot worked for DS (reflux, Velcro baby who would only sleep on me). He used to feed and then roll over into his own space for sleep lasting 4 or even 5 (!) hours at a time. We used a grobag on him to avoid the whole blanket fuss. We started with the cot at the same height as the bed, then lowered it gradually as he got more mobile. It is now at its lowest setting (about 8 inches below the top of our bed, so the bed acts as a sort of fourth wall).

He is 14 months now and still in the bedside cot. Currently the drama is trying to convince him that the cot, with its dinosaur quilt and glow stars, is far nicer than just climbing up and tucking into my armpit. Once that works we will be disconnecting the cot from the bed and trying to move it back a bit.

Everything with DS has to be gradual and incremental as he has the ability to escalate mild upset into a full monsoon of screeching, thrashing and roaring for hours.

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