At a loss, don't know what to do know.

(10 Posts)
Madallie Mon 27-Jan-14 13:30:17

I've written a lot on her recently about dd's sleep but I really have reached a point where I don't know what to do.
Dd is 2.1 yo. Never been fantastic sleeper, some good but a lot of bad phases. At the moment no one is getting much sleep here and it's taking it's toll.
A typical night/day was yesterday. Dd woke at 7.20am (great I know), napped 1.25pm-2.30pm (I woke her), in bed for night at 7.30. She was banging legs, crashing about etc until 9.05 when all eventually went quiet (I has been in a few times to remind her it's sleepy time). Then from about 9.45 she banged, crashed about and moaned on and off all evening until about 1am. She wasn't upset, wasn't calling out for us etc but it was impossible for me and Dh to go to bed because of the amount of noise she makes. It was also impossible to sit and relax downstairs because of the loud banging going on in her room. From about 1am she was sleeping more peacefully but was restless for a while at about 3am and 4.30am. She woke for the day at 7.30.
This is becoming a typical pattern here and I don't know why. I can't keep not being able to go to bed/sleep until 1/1.30am. I'm almost 39 weeks pregnant so it's harder now but even at the best of times I can't sustain this, even less so when new baby arrives.

. I just don't know what to do. I know some toddlers need less sleep and it's true she has never needed the recommended amount but not drastically less.

Maybe she doesn't really need a nap, even though it is usually only an hour ish. So I could understand that is possibly why she doesn't fall asleep until about 9pm, that I could understand/deal with. It's the restlessness, wakefulness banging and thrashing about all night that I am having big problems with. It can't be relaxing for her, plus me and Dh need our sleep too. She has self settles since about 6months, has not had any changes in her diet (so don't think it can be allergies), we have cut out squash, juice, any chocolate etc in case it was any if these.

Has anyone experienced anything similar have any thoughts or advise on what's going on or what I could do?

Thank you.

Madallie Mon 27-Jan-14 14:04:11

Well tried putting dd up for a nap today at 1pm and have just got her up an hour later after she wouldn't go off. She's always napped so don't know why after such an awful night last night she didn't go off.

I am shattered! I don't know how she isn't. What do I do now? No point trying for a nap later, she'll never go to bed then.

Parliamo Mon 27-Jan-14 14:10:13

Bigger bed with foam bumpers away from the wall so she has nothing to crash off?

Parliamo Mon 27-Jan-14 14:11:58

Or mattress on the floor? And the naps I wouldn't stress over, both mine gave theirs up not long after turning two, it's not uncommon.

MotherOfInsomniacToddlers Mon 27-Jan-14 14:12:15

Yes my now 2.8 yo had never slept a full night until a couple of weeks ago, but she would cry and shout for us until one of us slept in with her, suddenly a couple of weeks ago she said. "I'm going to be good tonight" and has pretty much slept through the night since then :-S so there is light at the end of the tunnel
I'm having similar with my 1.4yo but I have hope that one day he will follow her footsteps :-p I've cut his nap as he kept trying to nap at 4.30-5 and then not sleep til 9-10 so maybe cut her nap? Doing this means he reliably goes to bed at 7 and the night time antics don't start til 1-2am!

Madallie Mon 27-Jan-14 15:01:19

Thanks parliamo and mummy. I think it's all the more frustrating and anxiety inducing because of dc2's arrival being imminent. Also, I feel there's nothing I can do, going into her, trying to settle her, rub her back makes no difference and there's no point one of us being in their with her, she has never settled with other people in the room accept when really young and being rocked/ fed to sleep.

As she didn't nap today, I guess we will seed that has any affect. Would it be best to put her down early e.g. 7pm rather than 7.30. I just worry she'll be up at the crack if dawn if I do.

NAR4 Mon 27-Jan-14 17:32:29

Maybe a more drawn out bedtime routine would help her fall asleep quicker, so not keep you up until 1am. Something like a bath followed by a story and warm drink. Also keeping the room dark or only dimley lit (if you don't already do that).

googietheegg Mon 27-Jan-14 17:36:29

Maybe you need to change her diet as it could be she's uncomfortable. My dd thrashes after cauliflower cheese so we don't make it anymore! Poss beans/cabbage/onions?!

Parliamo Mon 27-Jan-14 21:21:29

I would go for early bed, time to bed has never seemed to make much difference to wake time for mine.

If you made an agreement with DH it's his duty for dd1 could you relax and ignore a bit more? I've had to train myself to do this, and am getting there through sheer exhaustion! Or earplugs?! If I wasn't bf I would have been for sleeping pills months ago!

I've found the best way to deal with it, is to try and modify my attitude ie it's not a problem to be solved - it just is, and work out the best way to work round it. Especially as or doesn't seem to be a problem for her iyswim.

That's the theory anyway. I've failed miserably and sulked and been a grumpy witch all weekend about lack of sleep

Madallie Tue 28-Jan-14 11:01:51

Thanks. Well last night was good. She was asleep straight away, not a peep until about 11.30 when she moaned and banged about for about 30mins then slept fine Til 7.30am.

Am going to try no nap again today. Will probably try for an earlier bedtime of 7am. This could just be a fluke though.

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