Will he ever sleep in his crib?

(20 Posts)
CuteLittleToes Mon 20-Jan-14 18:38:42

My DS is 9 weeks tomorrow. He has a crib but doesn't sleep in it well at all. If I put him down in it asleep, he wakes up 20 mins later if I'm lucky, and even if he doesn't wake up fully, he just keeps grizzling till I either loose my patience or he finally wakes up fully and starts crying.

So far I've survived by him sleeping on my chest during the night. He can sometimes even manage a 3h stretch. However, it's getting increasingly uncomfortable... He sometimes sleeps next to me in the crook of my arm, but I really don't want to co-sleep.

I suspect he doesn't like sleeping on his back, as when he sleeps on me he's on his tummy, or on the side if next to me. I've tried putting him on his side into the crib, but at some point he just rolls onto his back and then wakes up. I'm not sure he would stay asleep longer even if he stayed on his side to be honest... I wouldn't put him on his front into the crib, it just doesn't feel safe, although he's not at any increased SIDS risk. I just don't want to take any chances.

I thought maybe he just didn't like the hard mattress in the crib, and put him down next to me in the bed on top of the duvet. Same result as crib...

Please could someone tell me he will just magically start sleeping better in his crib one lucky night?.. I'm not expecting him to sttn, just a couple 3h stretches would be nice...

I don't know if I should just keep persevering and trying to put him into his crib until he finally realises that it isn't actually that bad in there, or if I should just give it up for a while, and either try again later at some stage, or somehow I'll just know now's the time...

I really like my sleep but now every night I'm just dreading bedtime, because I know it will be just another battle... Not sure what I'm looking for really - a magical cure?.. sad

drawohamme Mon 20-Jan-14 19:14:39

He will! All this sounds very similar to my DS.

Unfortunately I don't have a magic cure other than to say at this age they're still so tiny all they want is their mum. Eventually it'll dawn on you that he's spending more time in his crib and not on you, that you put him down on his side and now he's happily asleep on his back or whatever and you'll feel a bit sad that you don't get the extra snuggles smile

Blankiefan Mon 20-Jan-14 21:12:13

Have you tried putting one of your worn t-shirts into it so that he can smell you in the crib? Also, try heating it with a hit water bottle before trying him in it (take the bottle out before putting him in it)...

HTH

Blankiefan Mon 20-Jan-14 21:13:15

That'd be a hot water bottle!!

Have you tried swaddling him?

anotherbitofcake Tue 21-Jan-14 18:31:22

I have similar probs so watching! Sympathy OP x

extracrunchy Tue 21-Jan-14 18:45:10

Same here! Watching with interest!

With our older DS who liked to be on his side we used to roll a towel around him so he couldn't roll forwards or backwards.

extracrunchy Tue 21-Jan-14 18:46:12

By the way where does he sleep during the day? I can't get DD to nap anywhere except in the carrier.

brimfullofasha Tue 21-Jan-14 19:32:48

I can't offer a magic cure but I can say my DS was exactly like this. Would only nap in my arms and sleep on my chest. We tried all of the usual tricks, t-shirt in the Moses basket, hot water bottle etc. in the end, when he was about your DS's age, DH was Ill (we used to do 'shifts' with him on our chests)and I just couldn't face another night of it so I made him a 'nest' in his carry cot with rolled up blankets on each side to make it feel smaller and a lambskin. Amazingly he slept and stayed asleep and even went back in after he woke several times to feed. I don't really think it was anything we did just that he was old enough to cope and I was lucky at last.

starfish12 Tue 21-Jan-14 20:13:53

I could never get DS to sleep on his back, he'd just fling himself awake everytime. He slept on mu chest until 10 weeks and then got so heavy I couldn't breathe! He then slept in the bed next to me but I didnt really like that as our mattress is quite soft.
so I decided to put him on his front in his bednest using an angelcare baby monitor to monitor his breathing. I was so nervous at first and realise its against all sids advice but I felt it was the least dangerous of options. He seems to prefer being on his tummy. Hes not the best sleeper at 15 weeks but im working on it!

He's only 9 weeks old, I am certain it will get better.

How does he sleep in the day? Are you trying to leave him alone in the evenings, a lot of babies cluster feed in the evenings and don't settle to sleep for long, it might work to keep him downstairs until you go to bed yourselves and then he can see you, or you can put a hand on his back etc to resettle him if the cot is by your bed.

I would not put a t-shirt in the cot unless you tighten it around the mattress... maybe sleep with a sheet of his or a muslin or carry the muslin around in your bra all day or something (as long as you're not going out! grin)

CuteLittleToes Tue 21-Jan-14 21:18:35

Thank you for your replies.

I don't think t shirt or muslin will work as the same happens if I put him into my bed right next to me. Also we have tried the hot water bottle when he was like a week old and it didn't work. Also the issue here is not that he wakes up straight away, he wakes up later when in theory the crib should be warm from his body. He screams bloody murder if swaddled or if I manage to calm him down wakes up as if he's not swaddled...

I never leave him upstairs to sleep on his own in the evening as he simply doesn't sleep longer than 20 mins. I do think the issue is with him waking up between sleep stages and not bring able to fall back asleep.

He naps well in the pram. Sometimes he would fall asleep in his bouncy chair but that usually doesn't last long, but as it's a nap it's fine. He will always sleep longer if in my arms. Occasionally I've succeeded putting him down when asleep and he would go on and have 1,5-2h nap. He would wake up but giving him dummy sometimes would work. This doesn't happen very often though.

Last night I've put him next to me in bed again and made sure he was firmly on his side. He slept a bit longer. So I guess I'll keep trying that, and keep trying the crib - he should get used to it at some point...

He is quite small baby - was 9.5 lbs at 8 weeks, so not that heavy yet. However, his elbows are quite bony, and he keeps squashing my boobs and I'm scared I'll end up with blocked duct one day!

I know he's still very little and as his nervous system matures he will start sleeping better. I hope so...

We'll see what tonight brings and I'll give an update!

Rachaelandbabysofia Wed 22-Jan-14 21:06:10

My baby girl is six weeks. She will fall asleep on my chest and as soon as I put her down in her misses basket 5-10 mins she will wake up, so I have started putting a hot water bottle in her basket before she goes to bed to heat it up as I think she likes the heat from me. Also if ur breastfeeding ur wee one will smell ur milk and will want to be close to you so maybe try (if you can) get daddy to put baby to bed. Sorry don't kno the lingo on here as am new. Also if he prefers hugs side but rolls onto his back, roll a blanket up like a sausage and put it in front of him to stop him rolling over. Hope thus helps.

Chacha23 Thu 23-Jan-14 08:56:56

message of hope - my dd was exactly the same, would only sleep decent stretches on me or next to me. Would wake up within 10-20 minutes when put into her crib.

but as she got nearer to the 12-week mark she suddenly started improving a lot. She would still fall asleep on me, but I could then transfer her into her cot and she wouldn't wake up for a few hours.

since it seems to be a common problem, I suspect that it's just a strong instinct in very small babies to want to feel their mum next to them when they sleep... they say that the first 3 months are really a "fourth trimester", and I think there's some truth to that.

CuteLittleToes Thu 23-Jan-14 11:58:02

Chacha that's very comforting, thank you! I am trying not to get fixed on dates, but I've heard/read a lot that they generally do improve by about 3 months, so there's hoping!

I believe that's when Moro's disappears as well? I feel like handcuffing DS's hands to the sides of the crib sometimes... and taping dummy to his mouth

"Fourth trimester" grin it does sound very true!

Still no luck with the crib, but I'll just keep trying...

Emmasmummy2013 Thu 23-Jan-14 12:21:28

My DD was like this her first 2 weeks, she would sleep in her pram or on me but no way in the crib. I didn't like to let her sleep in the pram as it didn't have a proper mattress only a cushion. We decided to get a cheap moses basket as thought it was more similar to the pram. Things changed dramatically and she would sleep hours at a time. We didn't need a stand for the moses basket we just put it inside of the crib. I know it may sound silly but this was an absolute lifesaver for us x

naty1 Fri 24-Jan-14 12:14:23

Mine would sleep exactly the same as OP.
At 6m or 7 I started putting on front and that did seem to help. But I was too scared to earlier.
Did you say if you are bf?
However I think mine had silent reflux (I tried gaviscon) and didn't help her.
We have a lot of allergies in my family.
I believe a soya allergy was affecting her although I bf.
But she also improved (after CIO at 11m and also at that point I stopped feeding to sleep. Is the baby going to sleep by itself or are you feeding, or rocking etc?

CuteLittleToes Sun 26-Jan-14 21:47:17

Yes, he is breastfed. He doesn't fall asleep on his own, I normally feed him to sleep or rock if he wakes up.

naty1 Sun 26-Jan-14 22:36:23

Swaddling can help or a swaddling wrap, their arms can wake them.
It is still early days.

CuteLittleToes Mon 17-Feb-14 16:54:42

I feel like I should come back to this thread and update.

About a week later after my original post I got DS sleeping in the crib. With the help of my DM who was visiting at the time. I had to put an extra soft blanket as it looks like he didn't like hard mattress, and then rock rock rock...

At first it took quite a while to get him settled, he would cry while I rocked him. However, gradually it became much easier, and now he just lies there waving his arms about until he falls asleep while I rock him. Also the sound of hair dryer sometimes does the trick too. I can even sometimes feed him, and although he would kind of wake up when I put him back into crib, he just falls back asleep almost straight away, and I don't have to do anything else - he doesn't even need his dummy!

The length of sleep however is another topic... On a good day he'll do 3h stretch, then 2h and then wake up every hour - hour and a half. On a bad day it's 1-1.5h throughout. Not quite sure why and what to do about that, but...

I still feel like it's a major achievement! I just accept the fact he is a bad sleeper, and I know it will take time for him to sleep for longer stretches at a time, but I know it will happen! I despaired about him not sleeping in his crib, but now he does, so he will sleep longer, it will just take some time...

I'm not sure if it was just due to my perseverance, or he was simply ready for it, but I thought I'd update for those in the same situation smile

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