To all the people sick of hearing "put them down drowsy before they are asleep"

(19 Posts)
fruitandbarley Fri 17-Jan-14 23:21:54

Got well and truly sick of reading this in my many hours and hours of reading about 4 month sleep regression and 5 month sleep habits.
It never worked and she went from drowsy to screaming.
I just wanted to say keep trying, 3 nights ago my 5 1/2 month old was waking every hour from 6pm till 1am, then every two hours till morning. Was also taking a feed at most of them.
After driving myself crazy reading about solutions, I picked a few things that I thought would work, and they seem to have.
But I just wanted to say keep trying with the putting down. You can always pick up again if dosnt work, and one day it might do and shock you.

Duh!
You just co-sleep and learn to BF while dozing. At some point you get the knack if chucking fast a sleep or wide awake and fidgety child back in their cot and they decide they sleep better there than with you.

There is no complex theory or set if rules, just trial and error until you find what works.

Until you find something that works, you just do an impression of a zombie

fruitandbarley Fri 17-Jan-14 23:44:32

I have been co sleeping thanks, no need for the "duh" was there??
I was trying to offer a bit of hope to anyone in the same situation.

ArtemisTheHunter Sat 18-Jan-14 00:21:46

Thanks Fruit for being thoughtful enough to offer hope. I've got sick of reading/hearing that too, and it's never worked yet, but maybe one day it will. BTW we co sleep too, so no need for 'duh' here either. Fruit was there anything else you would recommend that worked? We are in same position you were with sleep regression and so far no end in sight

fruitandbarley Sat 18-Jan-14 14:22:37

I did a few things, I used a knotted Muslim as a kind of comfort blanket everytime I fed her as she likes holding onto something when she is.
Then one night a few days ago I went up and sat by her crib (she starts off there) as soon as it was coming up to the time she would wake as it was pretty much bang on the hour, and as soon as I saw her stiring I rocked the crib and she slept through it. The next time she woke which was about an hour again I did same, she woke once or twice and just to see what happened I gave her the comfort blanket and couldn't believe it when she just snuggled into it and went to sleep. I also unless she was screaming or very obviously hungry tried not to feed her less than 3 hours apart. I will try pushing this longer now things seem to be getting better.
I also used the NCSS way of removing nipple as she was stuck into feeding to sleep or being rocked.
She now seems to be able to settle herself, if she wakes, most of the time she puts herself back to sleep.

Mintyy Sat 18-Jan-14 14:25:50

Not everyone wants to co-sleep!

I hope things continue to improve for you and your dd fruitandbarley.

In the Baby Whisperer book it says you have to watch for yawns and get them in bed quick after the second yawn or you've had it. It sounds a bit bonkers but worked great for my two - we used it for naps mainly. If I actually left it till they were more visibly tired it was much harder.

Starball, I could quite as easily say duh, some of us would rather find a method of teaching our children to sleep than do an impression of a zombie.

But I wouldn't do that. Each to their own. grin

I have tried that until the cows come home. I have given up 6 weeks of sleep almost totally in one week blocks at a time doing put down drowsy, resettle in cot, don't feed. Eventually at 17.5 months I stopped breast feeding, my Dh took him to my mums for three nights. We've tried him in a cot, cotbed, travel cot, now in a single bed. NOTHING gets him to sleep any better. Except time. He first slept a three hour stretch aged 16 months. He still wakes 2-3 times in the evening, in bed as unsettleable by 11pm latest, does not sleep through, up 6 am. He is 21 months. He is a twin. His twin sleeps through. His 3 year old sister sleeps through. It's not me, or our routines. its him. He also has reflux. I've accepted that he's not going to sleep well for years. That helps! . Honestly, its not that simple for some...

cakebaby Sat 18-Jan-14 16:13:02

Thanks for the hope fruit DS hates bloody shush pat and PUPD. He doesn't stir from sleep either, eyes ping open and crying instantly

We co sleep at present for survival! But it's no long term solution for us.

IAmNotAPrincessIAmAKaleesi Sat 18-Jan-14 16:15:37

I have found the same fruit

Starball not everyone can co sleep, it would have been impossible for me to do so

IAmNotAPrincessIAmAKaleesi Sat 18-Jan-14 16:18:18

Dreaming that is so true, I have six dc and I have got them all to sleep through the night at one point or another but it has been different ages and different techniques for each child, there is no magic formula but there are things that can help. I hope it improves for you soon x

EmmaLL25 Sat 18-Jan-14 18:48:01

Ah the mythical drowsy state. In our house he's either asleep or not. No quiet, getting sleepy, droopy eye phase to gently move into cot.

We are about to try back into cot awake on Monday (after latest cold passes). I have this senseless optimism it might just work . . .

Good to hear perseverance helps, I'm a total wimp/easy route person.

Hoping to improve things before the 4 month regression melts into 9 month regression next month (sigh).

My DTs never yawn! Take that, baby whisperer. DTS goes from jigging about in the cot blowing raspberries to snoring his head off in the space of 5 seconds. Never gets drowsy. Either awake and pulling my hair or flat out comatose.

Frankly, I agree with those saying they get there in their own time. Also self settling is not some panacea. My DTs are patted to sleep every night and for every nap, it takes less than 10 mins and at 11 months, they are starting to occasionally sleep through. If they would stop bloody tag teaming the night wakings, then I would actually get the odd full night' sleep. But the fact that I help them to get to sleep is not holding them back from sleeping long periods at all.

starfish12 Mon 20-Jan-14 10:11:25

Thanks fruit. Im trying the nipple pull out before DS drops off. Most times he fights to get back on and im pretty sure he just collapses with exhaustion after x times. There is nothing else I can do given he is boobed to sleep so your post gives me hope that one day the thing you are doing might just work! Fingers crossed.

starfish12 Mon 20-Jan-14 10:11:34

Thanks fruit. Im trying the nipple pull out before DS drops off. Most times he fights to get back on and im pretty sure he just collapses with exhaustion after x times. There is nothing else I can do given he is boobed to sleep so your post gives me hope that one day the thing you are doing might just work! Fingers crossed.

AtrociousCircumstance Mon 20-Jan-14 21:55:55

Is the knotted muslin also safe to leave in the cot with your baby?

Ds2 is nearly five months and won't sleep in his cot at all. He has/had silent reflux, responded well to omeprazole.....but by that time his sleep associations were all about the boob.

Have tried to settle him in the cot for the past three eves. He becomes furious and screamy very quickly. He's too young for CC so we've been staying with him, comforting him etc. it hasn't worked at all.

fruitandbarley Mon 20-Jan-14 22:39:38

I don't actually leave the Muslin in there, as soon as shes asleep I take it out.
She's a few days short of 6 months now and also had silent reflux.
I have no clue if it would help but have you tried putting in the cot in the daytime and playing so its associated with a nice place to be, that's what I'm currently doing with dd1 with the cot in her room.
I also found she settled easier if I pottered around quietly doing things in the room rather than sitting there. It seemed to make her worse if I was trying to comfort her, like she was looking at me screaming "why are you sitting there if your not going to do anything".

naty1 Fri 24-Jan-14 12:45:11

I think some babies are more alert.
Possibly the reflux is a factor in that.
I wonder how much of the reflux is actually allergies though.
My 20m old never just fell asleep really alert.
Still doesn't in that sense I find it amazing in the nursery they have a place for them to sleep on the floor in the middle of the room lol lol lol no way for her.
I think I have pictures of the couple of times she fell asleep on the playmat. Sometimes exhausted from the jumperoo.
Lots though in the pushchair or car seat. Motion definitely helps.but we do now notice a bit of eye rubbing more naughty hyper behaviour when she is tired.
I did have to co-sleep but we have a super king so not such a problem.
I used to feed to sleep.
What worked in the end was CC at 11m also cutting soya from her diet. Trying to get her down within the 3 hours from waking even if she didn't seem tired. She was also sleeping on her tummy by then.
Stopping feeding rocking etc to sleep did help as now she has learnt how to go to sleep and stay asleep.

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