ds slowly killing me...need sleep...must sleep... any advice/experience?

(31 Posts)
itsincognitome Fri 27-Dec-13 12:09:07

NC but regular, very dark times that i don't want following me around. 16 wk ds has never slept more than 4 hrs and that was only twice. Naps 2 x 45 mins am which is a struggle then whatever we can get in pm courtesy of pram/car/bouncer. He's bf, goes down fine at 7pm after bedtime routine, then wakes hourly til I go to bed (co sleeper crib). From then on, he wakes every 90 mins & will not settle without a feed, attempts lead to hysterics. By about 2am I have no resilience and co sleep. DH in spare room with ear plugs as shift worker & smoker, does/can/will not do now at moment.

I'm thinking 4month sleep regression, but with the added delight of a week of d&v bug leading to up to 10 nappy changes a night but he still has a sore bum that metanium is not really helping with.

So, am I right in thinking anything goes to get sleep when they're ill? Do you just have to ride out the regression when he's better? Its slowly killing me, my dh found me in tears at 4am today after the 9th freshly changed nappy of the night was filled and leaked all over the bed, ds & me. I swear I'm losing the ability to function normally, I feel so sorry for little ds as he's under the weather, sore bum, grumpy mummy who has little tolerance for entertaining him. God what a mess.

l?

itsincognitome Fri 27-Dec-13 12:13:13

FFS I can't even delete the 'I?' at the end of the post.

BTW GP not interested....just a bug.....ds is drinking more than normal but not dehydrated. Its been 7 days of d&v now.

I don't even know what I'm asking here, just at the end of my rope with it.

HoleyGhost Fri 27-Dec-13 12:16:40

Have you asked your HV for advice?

Is there anyone else who could give you some support?

CMOTDibbler Fri 27-Dec-13 12:20:07

Poor you, sounds like hell at the moment. If he's ill, and esp with d&v, his sleep will be awful.

But your dh needs to man up and help out. So feed your ds, hand him over to dh and tell him to go out with him for the next 3 hours and Go To Sleep. Ask any friends or family who are around to do the same - and I'd take a baby out for anyone I knew who was desperate cos we've all been there. But your dh doesn't get to check out just because he's working shifts - in the evening, could you get ds off to sleep in another room and then go to sleep at 8 and leave dh to settle him again till he needs a feed.

And just co sleep if its better. saved my life when ds was tiny as he could just feed on demand without waking me.

How about double nappies (outside one a size bigger) while the d&v is on. Or if you know anyone who uses cloth nappies, borrow a couple to use as an outer as they are good at trapping runny poo.

If you are south west Midlands/n cotswolds/ n gloucs area, then I would be more than willing to pop some cloth nappies over

BiscuitMillionaire Fri 27-Dec-13 12:25:21

When the D & V has stopped, try Baby Whisperer methods - you need to read up all about it, and be absolutely consistent if you want to do it. 45 mins and 90 mins are typical sleep cycles, you need to help DS learn to get back to sleep without props. It worked dramatically well for my DS at 8 months - different technique for under 4 months I think. Read up on www.babywhispererforums.com Very helpful people on there if you read the standard info first. Good luck (sleep deprivation is truly awful).

itsincognitome Fri 27-Dec-13 12:32:01

Thanks so much for replies. I've read so many bloody sleep books I don't know if I'm coming or going. Dh often not here during eve, not in til early hours or away all night so my resilience is practically non existent. I'll take a look at the baby whisperer and add on a next size up nappy! Fab idea thank you (and for your kind offer, but we're miles away!)

kernowmissvyghen Fri 27-Dec-13 12:34:45

Sounds very tough. I also had a non-sleeper, no long periods of sleep day or night for the first months, and he never napped as a toddler like everyone else on earth's child seemed to do..... Also had gut problems, so everything was always covered in vomit or worse from the other end.

We co-slept. It was the only way to survive. Now does not sound like the time to worry about anything other than survival.

Practical measures: put big towels down on the bed to cover the complete area baby is likely to be on, and have a pile of towels by the bed- when you have a poo or vom disaster, just change the towel.

To contain all liquid poo, I found Motherease nappy wraps to be the best thing on earth! I used real nappies (disposables just are not as good at containment) but a wrap over the to

itsincognitome Fri 27-Dec-13 12:35:08

Feel awful for moaning about dh but he's never put ds to bed or done any night stuff yet last night he appeared like a knight in feckin shiny armour to save the day/night, scolding me for getting flustered! Maybe some help in the nights of the last 16 weeks would have helped.

itsincognitome Fri 27-Dec-13 12:37:46

X post, yes towels have been a great help. Hope it gets better soon.

Oblomov Fri 27-Dec-13 12:40:16

Many of understand. Ds2 was a terrible sleeper and nearly broke me. You have to be practical and put into place , what you need from dh and anyone else you can get to help you, to allow you to function.
My mum paid for a cleaner. My friend took ds1 to school. I slept. It was the only way I could cope.
Take heart. We understand.

BalloonSlayer Fri 27-Dec-13 12:46:08

When DS1 was little and suffering from recurrent nappy rash our GP said that after a couple of days nappy rash will always have thrush in it, so you need an antifungal as well.

We used to get daktacort prescribed by the GP - and the nappy rash would go with a teeny tiny bit of that applied.

kernowmissvyghen Fri 27-Dec-13 12:47:28

Aargh, sorry, fat fingers pressed post too soon!

Where was I? Nappy wrap on top of disposable will keep all horrors in. I had lightning fast delivery from a company called twinkle twinkle on the web if the d&v appears to be continuing.

And I'm afraid however tired your dh thinks he is when he gets in, he doesn't get a choice: he needs to take baby out of the house and you need to go to sleep. Whatever time of day or night it is. Serious sleep deprivation is not safe, for you or baby, and he has to do his share. He also has to do everything around the house because if he doesn't you are going to reach the point of total collapse. Sleep deprivation is used as a torture technique for a reason and you've had 4 months of it!

CantaSlaus Fri 27-Dec-13 12:49:05

Poor you, it is torture isn't it. I managed about 3 1/2 hours sleep last night and 2 of those were co sleeping with 9mo dd. teething, temperature and a horrible cold kept us up all night and she has been poorly for 3 weeks now but last night was the worst.

I can barely keep my eyes open and would not feel safe to drive. DH also caught me crying at about half 4 as id just had enough.

I have no words of wisdom, just do whatever gets you through and know you're not alone, there must be hundreds of us out there all in the same boat!

kernowmissvyghen Fri 27-Dec-13 12:59:02

My non-sleeping vomiter is 2 1/2 now and sleeps 12 hours a night! about 60% of it in his own bed it will end eventually!

My dh really did do absolutely everything around the house and took the baby out of the house every day when we were going through the hell that was the first 5 months, to give me a little sleep time. I am pretty sure I would have been a "mother kills baby" news headline if he hadn't...

itsincognitome Fri 27-Dec-13 13:01:42

Thank you. I'm in my kitchen eating chocolate & having a self indulgent sob at your support and generally feeling over wrought and sorry for myself. Pathetic, I know.

Not nappy rash yet I don't think, but he's never had it before so what do I know? A few red patches, not raised nor broken skin. I just can't seem to keep up with it when he just seems to be 'leaking' as well as frequent bowel movements.

itsincognitome Fri 27-Dec-13 13:05:58

Dh in bed as 11 hr overnight shift looming. Dreading another bath/bed/night on my own but I need to suck it up and stop whining, so we're off out for a pram walk.

Thank you all......this too shall pass, repeat ad infinitum.....

juneau Fri 27-Dec-13 13:09:08

Seven days of D&V in a 16-week-old and your GP isn't interested?

I'd be asking to see another doctor. Usually D&V is over and done with after a max. of three days IME.

itsincognitome Fri 27-Dec-13 13:13:18

Yep this is the 7th day, v has stopped, d remains. He said it could last 10 days & if no fever & feeding then let it run its course. Maybe I should call back before the weekend gauntlet of OOH

emeraldgirl1 Fri 27-Dec-13 13:59:36

No further advice than what others have offered but just to say hang on in there and yes this too SHALL pass!!! I feel your pain as I too have to do all the night stuff alone (DH can't help for other reasons) and it's miserable, you feel so alone and I understand. Will think of you tonight when I'm up at 4am and maybe if might help you feel less desperate if you think of all the others who are in it with you!!! It does help a bit, weirdly!!! Xxx

itsincognitome Fri 27-Dec-13 14:09:13

Thank you, you're right, 4am feels very lonely!

cindyrella Fri 27-Dec-13 20:06:35

Awe bless I feel your pain (literally...we r going thru 4 mth regression & teething.)
My dp has a weekend off coming up in Jan so i am going to get a massage & book myself into a hotel for the night while he does an expressed night shift! I know ill still have to pump at night but at least wont be hourly...I cant wait!

ecofreckle Fri 27-Dec-13 20:16:38

oh that sounds tough. My dd had d for 15 days and then it just went. Doc was similar, we had a baby who was still taking in milk and providing wet nappies. Just sharing that in case it helps with the worry about longevity. Hoping you have a better might.

itsincognitome Fri 27-Dec-13 20:20:19

Thank you Eco it does help, I wasn't sure if I was being fobbed off. In fairness though GP was attentive during appt, I guess he just didn't say what I wanted to hear! Jesus, potentially another 8 days of multiple night nappy disasters????

itsincognitome Fri 27-Dec-13 20:21:46

Cindy my dh would not believe me if I said I was going to do that! Sounds awesome....enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!

PeanutPatty Fri 27-Dec-13 20:48:18

NRFT

For his sore bum use cooled
Camomile tea. It will work really quickly and you'll never look back.

Lack of sleep is absolute torture. What works for one doesn't always work for another and 16wks is still quite young what with all the developmental leaps that screw it up even more. Have you tried a dummy?

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