Anyone know a good sleep trainer who DOESN'T advocate CC? Ideally london based.

(32 Posts)
emeraldgirl1 Thu 26-Dec-13 21:11:24

I've gone back and forth on whether or not I can live with DD's bad sleep and I'm starting to think I can't sad

Does anyone know of a sleep 'trainer' who might be able to give advice or a programme? Am in london...

The only thing I categorically will not try is any form of controlled crying... I have researched a few sleep trainers who all seem to suggest their own versions of it as one option... I am at a low ebb and really really don't want to spend a couple of hundred quid to be offered any version of CC. It's just not my thing and frankly I've got enough well-meaning but over opinionated people in my life who keep telling me to do it. Don't need anyone else for that!

Other than that, I'm open to any suggestions!!

WaitingForPeterWimsey Thu 26-Dec-13 21:20:32

How old is dd and are you bf or ff?

emeraldgirl1 Thu 26-Dec-13 21:24:11

10m... Ff since a few weeks old...

WaitingForPeterWimsey Thu 26-Dec-13 21:32:31

Emeraldgirl, a good place to start might be to look at the Isis website, which has independent research based info (part-funded by Durham Uni) on what is normal on infant sleep. I looked at this when I was having problems with DS and discovered that what I thought was awful sleep was actually totally normal.

Also worth speaking to the HV to see what they can recommend?

WaitingForPeterWimsey Thu 26-Dec-13 21:33:23

How often does she wake at night? Is there any way your Oh can help you at night?

emeraldgirl1 Thu 26-Dec-13 21:36:47

Waitingforpeter... Ta muchly! smile Actually a v sweet mumsnetter linked me to the website a few months ago when I was also struggling... It's a great site and helps in many ways but I just don't know how much longer I can go on staggering out of bed all these times a night... I know baby sleep patterns aren't like ours and I'd never expect a baby to sleep 7-7 or anything of the sort... I'm just starting to wonder if there's anything I could do to limit the frequency or duration of the wake ups...

puddock Thu 26-Dec-13 21:38:51

Not London-based, but the v experienced and lovely woman who was a postnatal doula for me has really started specialising in this.
www.nurturingsleep.co.uk/

anothernamechangerreally Thu 26-Dec-13 21:39:56

This woman is amazing!!!

http://m.nurturingsleep.co.uk/

Very gentle but so effective. She saved us and I would highly recommend her.

Our ds was waking 7 times a night at 9 months and was sleeping through 8 weeks later. I luffs her!!!

emeraldgirl1 Thu 26-Dec-13 21:39:57

At the moment it's 11pm, usually briefly at 2, wide awake at 4 which is when I cave and get her into bed with me and then usually awake for the day at 5 or 5.30... If I'm supremely lucky she may go until 6... I know it's not as bad as many on here but it's starting to really get me down.

DH could do a dream feed but its not something we've tried yet... Otherwise he can't really help as he's hearing impaired so I need to wake him anyway if she cries and then I'm awake too... He does do some early mornings but very few as he has to get to work early...

anothernamechangerreally Thu 26-Dec-13 21:40:53

Cross post with puddock!!!

Honestly she is fab!

m.nurturingsleep.co.uk/

spinaltap Thu 26-Dec-13 21:42:47

BabyCalm offer sleep workshops and they are anti cc. Much cheaper than a sleep trainer i would think too. There might be a teacher near you?

It really sucks when everyone's telling you to do cc - I've been there! 2nd time around I generally avoid telling people how my baby sleeps. Hope you find something that works for you.

emeraldgirl1 Thu 26-Dec-13 21:46:58

Thanks for the nurturing sleep reccs ladies!!

Have raced to her website!!

Can I ask which of the packages you tried, just the one off chat or something more in depth?

Also, can I ask if she herself is a kindly sort?! I'm feeling so utterly bossed around and miserable at the moment, sleep deprivation is making me a bit sorry for myself sad and I'm just so wary of being told off by a stranger for all the parenting mistakes I'm making!

anothernamechangerreally Thu 26-Dec-13 21:47:43

I did baby calm and did enjoy it, but actually if you have read anything remotely 'attachmenty' re caring for your baby you won't learn anything new. I did enjoy it, it it didn't truly help with my ds's sleep.

Obviously someone else's experience may be different but I tried so many things before finally spending out on Ann (lady I linked to above) and I so wish I had done it months earlier.

givemeaclue Thu 26-Dec-13 21:49:28

Have yet tried getting a referal to a sleep clinic

anothernamechangerreally Thu 26-Dec-13 21:50:09

She is so kind!!!! She feels like a super knowledgable but non bossy friend. She knows her stuff but adapts it to suit you and your family. We went really slowly as I wasn't comfortable with any crying and she was totally fine with that.

We went for the 6 week package. Best money we ever spent!

puddock Thu 26-Dec-13 21:54:22

She was a PN doula for me rather than helping with sleep stuff in particular; she was very sensitive and supportive and not remotely bossy.

JellyMould Thu 26-Dec-13 21:54:27

Also try Andrea Grace.

emeraldgirl1 Thu 26-Dec-13 21:56:07

Anothernamechange thank you! She sounds fab... I just can't deal with much crying and am constantly being told what a wimp I am being... I just want some advice and support from someone who'll actually listen and not just offer cookie cutter stuff IYSWIM!

emeraldgirl1 Thu 26-Dec-13 21:58:24

JellyMould thank you! I've (perhaps mistakenly?) got te impression that Andrea grace is a controlled-crying person...?

Btw I should say I think there's nothing wrong with CC if it works for you and your baby! It's just not at all my thing.

Puddock thank you!,

anothernamechangerreally Thu 26-Dec-13 22:46:54

Oh emerald honestly, get in touch with Ann, I can't stress enough how brilliant she is!

I felt like everyone was giving me different advice, hcps, family, friends, books, mumsnet!!! I read extensively dr sears, no cry sleep solution etc. I knew about all these different ways of improving my ds's sleep but Ann really analysed our situation and come up with a practical step by step gentle way of improving things. We changed things just one or two things at a time, then spoke again and changed something else. Gradually, gently and easily he began to sleep longer and longer stretches. He used to wake 7-9 times a night, EVERY night from birth, and wouldn't nap unless a fed him to sleep and lay down with him. Now he sleeps a good 11 hours and has 2 naps which he goes down happily for.

She is amazing.

itsincognitome Fri 27-Dec-13 20:16:12

Sorry emerald for crashing in..... But those who have used this lady....I can't see much on her site about her techniques. I can't bear crying, it makes me feel physically sick (yes, wimp, I know). I've tried some ideas from ncss in the past and found them a bit 'general'.

anothernamechangerreally Sat 28-Dec-13 07:54:43

She absolutely does a no cry way. She goes with what parents are comfortable with.

Her work is based on attachment theory.

cakebaby Sun 05-Jan-14 09:23:57

Hi emerald did you give this lady a try?

lucidlady Sun 05-Jan-14 09:39:15

Another vote for Andrea Grace here. I am anti-cc and she created a program specifically for my DD that was based on gradual retreat. Worked very well!

emeraldgirl1 Sun 05-Jan-14 09:54:41

Hi cakebaby - yep, am in contact with nurturing sleep lady (Ann) and about to start some gentle sleep work... she seems fabulous and exactly what I'm after, so even if it doesn't work at all I'll know I've given it a shot in a way that I'm comfortable with.

lucidlady - thanks for the post!!! I think I was v mistaken about Andrea Grace as I'd understood that she was a controlled-crying advocate - my sleep deprived brain gets very confused by details these days... glad to hear a gradual retreat program worked for you anyway - I think at the back of my head I just can't really believe anything is going to work but that's probably thw wrong attitude to go into this with!!!

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