No Cry Sleep Solution - anyone want to join in, or tips from your experiences with it?

(209 Posts)
TurtlesMama Tue 29-Oct-13 20:53:04

My 9 mo dd is a bad sleeper. We had a brief lovely period of all night sleep between 3 & 4 mths and it has been downhill from there! She does self settle occasionally but otherwise its cuddles/rocking and she will only fall asleep with me or dh in the room. I refuse to try cc/CIO and having spent a miserable 10 days doing pupd from the baby whisperer (cue a lot of screaming from her for hours at night and a very miserable mama too) have decided to try the no cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley. Briefly dabbled in it when she was tiny to help with naps, but this time I'm doing it properly, sleep logs, sleep plan and all wink

Is there anyone else out there also interested in giving it a go? It would be great to have a support thread going - all my RL baby friends allegedly have babies who sleep lol so a bit of help would make all the difference!

Thanks :-)

EmmaLL25 Tue 29-Oct-13 22:33:02

I'm picking the book from library tomorrow. Not sure how much of it we'll use yet.

Been trying pull off for past month or so. We have a 5.5 month who wakes sometimes every 1.5 hrs, sometimes every 3 hrs. It's a mystery to me what makes him sleep more or less one night to the next.

Will watch thread with interest and come back to post once I've read the book!

quirkychick Tue 29-Oct-13 22:47:31

I would really recommend this book as a lifesaver as it is lots of good ideas, rather than one single method. It doesn't judge what you are doing now bfing to sleep.

I used it for dd1 who didn't sleep through till 2! And more recently for dd2 who has sen and at 3 was so hyperactive at night she split the mattress shock. I used both the original baby book & the toddler one. Dd2 starting going to sleep on time & staying asleep, rather than taking fecking hours up all fecking night within a week.

Liveinthepresent Tue 29-Oct-13 23:45:55

I am trying it too on phone with one hand on DS will post more tomorrow.

Brugmansia Wed 30-Oct-13 03:57:53

Also watching with interest. DS is also 9 months. He goes to sleep ok, mostly feeds to sleep but can settle if really tired sometimes. He wakes lots in the night and will only then feed back to sleep. I've just spent a miserable week trying to night wean without success so need to try something else.

FaithTheVampireSlayer Wed 30-Oct-13 06:18:09

I've been using it for several weeks. It's by no means a quick fix (I think even her '10 days' is optimistic) but over the weeks we've seen a huge improvement.
When we started she fed to sleep - taking probably 1-2 hours, needing to be held for a good 30 minutes the. Put down with several pick ups. We were having several wakings through the night (average of 3). Last night she BF for 15 minutes, down quickly - aware she was in her cot, snuggled down. Slept 6.30-2, 2.20-6!

I've found it beneficial to stick with the routine but go with DD's cues. Normally we do bath at 6 but last she was rubbing her eyes so we did it at 5.30 and bedtime was really easy!

My hope is eventually to stop BF to sleep at all.

Turtles PUPD seems to rile my DD! Good luck with it. I'll stick around to see how you get on.

Mrs81 Wed 30-Oct-13 07:45:37

Marking my place smile I have this book from library but haven't plucked up the courage to jump in yet. DS is 19w and quite a good sleeper all things considered but will only be fed or rocked to sleep.
Have just ordered the nap one too...

TurtlesMama Wed 30-Oct-13 20:58:48

Hi everyone

Thanks so much for all the replies, fab to see so many people wanting to join in already, it will make so much difference to have some support for each other.

Emma & Mrs81 - great that you're getting the book, give us a shout when you're ready to start grin The book is q realistic in that you can start implementing some of the ideas before reading the whole thing, great for a sleep deprived desperate mummy! Mrs81 yes the nap one is good too esp for younger ones I found, hope it helps you.

quirkychick thanks for the encouragement!! What ideas from the books did you use? I can't imagine how tough it must have been dealing with sen with sleep problems too. It's so inspiring that you made it work smile

live in the present how are you getting on? How old is your lo?

brugmansia that sounds tough sad Have you started ncss? My LO seemed to have stopped night feeds so when she was crying in the night a few days afterwards I spent ages trying to get her back to sleep without realising at first that she was hungry. Felt awful. Anyway since then she has had a feed most nights. At first I thought she was too old but the more I read the more it seems its perfectly normal for them to need a night feed under 12mths. Unlike my hv who told me I should go in, tell her no, then leave her to cry herself to sleep. Mean mean mean!!

faith that's amazing!! How old is your dd? Which techniques did you try? Yes my LO was not impressed with pupd either! So angry & confused that I wasn't immediately picking her up. Wish I'd never done it now tbh but was so desperate for sleep and it felt like the only option if I wasn't going to do CIO. How many weeks have you been going now?

So I did our first sleep log Monday night. It was awful!! Up for nearly 4hrs over a couple of nw's and some quick ones too. Having said that we just learnt today that she has a chest infection and is now on antibiotics, so we will be holding off getting properly stuck in for a few days til she is better, though will keep trying to put her down without a very long cuddle - we had been in the habit of holding her for ages to make sure she was properly asleep!

On day 1(Tues) she went down for first nap and bedtime with a cuddle and phase 1 of the 6 stage plan which ncss uses for getting them to self settle. She had her pm nap in the buggy (eventually) but another bad night. Today she only had 30min for her am nap as her cough woke her, but conked out for 2hrs this pm (unheard of!) with a cuddle. Then tonight she self settled in cot in 5mins for first time in a while, but has already been up once. So we are really a bit all over the place!

I really want to lengthen her naps - anyone trying or succeeded there? What did you do?

Are you bf or ff? We are ff now (did a bit of bf at the start but she was poorly and didn't get on with it so we had to stop). Are you working on stopping feed to sleep too? My dd is normally awake after her bottle, on the few occasions she isn't I put her down asleep as am not about to wake her for the hell of it!

How is everyone else getting on?

Sending you all positive vibes for a better night grin

FaithTheVampireSlayer Wed 30-Oct-13 21:47:48

Ha tonight was 8.30! By no means perfect. For us key things were evening routine - we mix feed so bottle, bath, massage, lullaby, story, BF. We have just switched to doing BF then bottle with the hope that eventually she won't need to BF to sleep!

I didn't realise there was a nap one but I've bought it on my kindle now.

emeraldgirl1 Thu 31-Oct-13 02:23:49

Hello ladies I want to join but am knackered so will be a short post sorry!!!
Getting this book ASAP...!!!
Turtles i know it's not ncss method but re naps I just had to post to see if you s tried wake to sleep... Is a baby whisperer thing and a version of it has worked for DD... Basically I hurtle in when I hear first stirrings (always after 30 min) and soothe her back to sleep before she wakes completely. It takes up to twenty mins sometimes which can be frustrating but invariably she then naps at least 45 min longer...
Sorry again for dashed off post, I need to sleep now!!!

Mrs81 Thu 31-Oct-13 03:14:01

I've just started keeping a log of all sleeping related stuff as per book's suggestion so will see where that gets us smile

DS is ebf.

Hope everyone's having a good night!

PuddingAndHotMilk Thu 31-Oct-13 03:45:45

I'd like to join in. DD (13wk) is bf and fights sleep like a wildcat at the moment unless she falls asleep on the boob. She only snacks on sleep in the day apart from a big nap late afternoon and tends to sleep 12-3-6-8 overnight taking sleepy feeds an going straight back down.

I've just got the book but about to go on holiday so I suspect it might all be a bit buggered for a couple of weeks...

TurtlesMama Thu 31-Oct-13 09:11:18

Hi all

Bleurgh what a night!! Up 5 times between bed and 11pm (luckily that's Dh's shift tho I was still awake!) & we calpol'ed her on number 4. Then another 3, or it may have been 4, between then and morning - 620 which I guess isn't too bad really. Soooooo tired!! She did go back down v fast each time tho which was fab, so am hoping its just this yucky infection causing it, poor baby.

How did you all get on?

Faith - how do you get her down at the minute? Does she self settle for nw's?

Pudding - hi, welcome! At least you should have a chance to read on holiday lol grin. Am impressed, we have only managed a 4day break since dd was born and that was in the UK and hard work!! Tho would have been easier without bottles and steriliser!! Looking forward to hearing how you get on with the book.

Hi emerald SOrry to hear you're so tired too, hope you like the book. Would love to hear more about the nap settling? Did you do it every time? How did u know when to go in? Dd naps change pretty much every day in length so wouldn't know where to start, sometimes she does 2hrs alone, sometimes 30mins. Don't want to wake her in the middle unnecessarily wink

mrs81 how does the log look?

Look forward to hearing how you're all getting on

Liveinthepresent Thu 31-Oct-13 09:42:59

Morning Turtle that sounds like a tough night. Hopefully things wil settle down a bit once she feels better.

Thank you for the thread I had wondered about starting one too but was worried I was being a sleep bore!

I really like the book and am determined to give it a go but it feels like one step forward two steps back all the time here.

My DS is 19 weeks.
my priority at the moment has been early bedtime - I put this off for ages as wanted to be asleep for his longest stint. That stint has shrunk from the giddy days of up to 8 hours when he was 10 weeks to 3 - so I figured I had nothing to lose and didn't want to reinforce the wrong bedtime.
Hopefully once he resets his body clock to that bedtime I can tackle the night waking.
He naps well during the day - only in the buggy at the moment but that doesn't bother me. He can sometimes self settle for naps but seems less able to do so at night.
Last night I spent so long rocking him that my back is really aching today - so I need to sort that out before he gets much heavier!
So far the early bedtime has been ok - not great but I was expecting him to think it was nap time - I know I can be consistent on this so feel determined.
I am just worried that he is getting more and more reliant on the,rocking - when a few weeks ago he could self settle especially after BF - even that doesn't work now!
According to my Wonder Weeks app he has 6 more days of this developmental leap - maybe after he has finished that he will turn his focus to learning to sleep?? (Wishful thinking grin )

Liveinthepresent Thu 31-Oct-13 09:46:10

Oh and Turtles I did the same as emerald with naps and used to rush over and rock ( see above re rocking addiction!) DS back into sleep between cycles.
He sleeps better in the,buggy than maybe in Moses basket at night!

tinierclanger Thu 31-Oct-13 10:04:09

Sort of joining if that's ok...? DD is just coming up to 6m, BF and still a pretty dreadful sleeper - wakes every couple of hours, starts off in cot and then comes to bed with me around midnight or 1.

I did all the self-settling work a couple of months ago and she was settling herself down well at bedtime. Felt really pleased and proud that I'd put all that effort in but it didn't seem to improve her sleep overall that much! And since she went into her cot she is only erratically self settling now and the past few nights has insisted on BF to sleep, despite all the bedtime routine.

I think there is a growth spurt or something going on at the mo so I'm not going to do anything yet but I'd like to follow along with you all for a week or two and then maybe start trying something!

morethanmama Thu 31-Oct-13 10:07:33

Hello I would like to join this. Ds is a nightmare. I feed him to Sleep. Co sleep unwillingly with my boob in his mouth as a dummy. He's 8 months. Can someone run me through the basics please? Thanks.

Mrs81 Thu 31-Oct-13 11:52:08

Hmmm. Log will look a bit rubbish today because I had to take DS to HV slap bang in the middle of when he'd like to nap in the morning. Blah. Will log for a couple of days and see what's what smile

We had a good night sleep-wise last night, but self-settling to sleep day or night seems like a distant dream at the mo. Ho hum!

NeatFreak Thu 31-Oct-13 12:37:01

Watching with interest... My dd is 19 weeks and her sleep patterns are worse than ever. I have the book but haven't done any logs etc yet but will dig it out. No idea how I will note night wakings though!

Liveinthepresent Thu 31-Oct-13 12:42:28

Interestingly I have resisted rocking DS for his naps so far today - the first one is normally the easiest one so sometimes he drifts off on his own for that one - but I just tried it again for the next one - he grizzled - I resisted the urge to step in and timed it - took 8 minutes of low key grizzles and he was asleep. His crying didn't escalate at all.
Encouraging as maybe if I can tackle the day times we will make progress at night?

MNPlovespumpkincarving Thu 31-Oct-13 13:53:54

I quick note, try adding an extra layer like a long sleeved vest under night wear and sleep sac, often night wakings can be due to a couple of degrees drop in temp.

Current 12m wears long sleeve vest, 2 piece pjs, socks and a 2.5tog sac with cellular blanket in a 22' room, she has always felt the cold and even in a 26' room wore everything but the bodysuit else i was up to her repeatedly thru the night usually starting an hour after bedtime.

As a maternity nurse, houses can feel appreciatively cooler after 11pm.

FaithTheVampireSlayer Thu 31-Oct-13 15:12:26

Hello all, welcome newbies.

Turtles naps rely on boob (then Velcro baby will not be put down) or motion - car, pram etc. what's NW? Bed time she's fed to sleep.

live I've found as settling her for bed has improved so have the night times. My key thing at night is no stimulation - no talking, no singing, no eye contact! Just feed and back down.

Well we've had a couple of better days of napping - short one early morning and 2 hours ish in the afternoon! Best of all she stayed asleep despite changing location (fell asleep in car and stayed asleep when we got to baby music group for a further 20 minutes).

morethan the book has lots of ideas for improving sleep and has a focus on co-sleeping BF. One thing it's worth looking at the Pantley pull off to get him used to falling asleep without the nipple in the mouth. I can't co-sleep with DD, she thinks it's an all night buffet! We co-slept on holiday last week and twice she fed non-stop from 1-3!

emeraldgirl1 Thu 31-Oct-13 16:32:27

Oooh, pumpkincarving, that is GREAT advice about the cold... We took DD out of sleeping bags a few weeks ago as she was getting tangled and that was waking her (she's just learning to move...) but maybe she is chilly as a result... Worth a try I guess!!!

cakebaby Thu 31-Oct-13 20:11:35

Marking place..... I have the book. DS is 8 wks, bit early to start in earnest, but we have a bedtime routine at least. Fights sleep and only naps in car/pram/lap. Sometimes goes 3 hrs between night feeds (bf) more likely 2 hrs, no apparent reason for changes in timings.

morethanmama Thu 31-Oct-13 20:21:54

Thank you faith!! Am currently sat in the dark feeding again. He fell asleep for an hour and we out him in his cot but he woke up indignant at the thought of it.

I know I need to stop having him in my bed as he just thinks the milk var is open but I don't know where to start!

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