17mo taking FOREVER to settle at bedtime...

(22 Posts)
teacher123 Wed 25-Sep-13 19:49:40

It's absolutely doing my head in. His bedtime was 6.30pm for months and he always fell straight to sleep. For the last month it's taking up to two hours for him to drop off at bedtime. Not crying, just chatting and crashing about. Having one nap a day at about 1pm for no more than 1 1/2 hours. Should I just move bedtime back? He usually wakes between 6.30 and 7am...

Drinkprunesbutstaynexttotheloo Wed 25-Sep-13 20:22:45

Hello, I think we share a baby... just came on to look for some advice on my 16 month old who basically wants someone (usually me) to lie next to him till he drops off. He used to fall asleep in my arms after a feed, but these days he perks up again and looks for toys hmm
Is this the 18 month sleep regression or is this just forever?

teacher123 Wed 25-Sep-13 20:31:35

Oh who the heck knows?! He's having some sort of massive developmental leap at the moment, and is picking up new words all the time, and his understanding is frightening... I think he just cannot switch off and I don't know how to help him! He does loads of running around and has lots of fresh air and I don't know what else to do...!

Suchanamateur Wed 25-Sep-13 20:48:00

<waves> Am still here. I hear you! Will post tomorrow but now 19 mo DD was up for 2.5 sodding hours last night so I am broken and about to close my eyes. Not that you should e expecting any magic solutions from me of course!

teacher123 Wed 25-Sep-13 21:16:17

Hello such good to see you again! I don't flipping well know what to do... He self settles and has done for over a year so am reluctant to try and actively 'get' him to sleep. He has white noise, a pitch black room, some cuddlies in his cot, a sleeping bag and he sucks his thumb. I really don't know what else to do! We have wind down time before bath and then a really strict routine. Arrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhh

sharond101 Wed 25-Sep-13 21:37:08

If he is up so early as 6.30/7am could you bring his nap forward? DS 16mo wakes around 7/8am, naps around 12.30pm and bed at 7.30pm.

Suchanamateur Thu 26-Sep-13 10:41:27

So as I said, I'm really not one to give advice as we've been struggling with this for 3 months...

It might well be worth trying a bit of an earlier nap in case the longer time to bed helps. Or I think given he's not a crazy early riser, you could push till 7pm for a week and see how that works.

We've played around a lot with timings (mainly unsuccessfully), but where we are now is a nap at 12/12.30 until 2 if I'm lucky, and then a 6.30ish bed or earlier for a crap nap. It still can take up to an hour for DD to settle but sometimes quicker, and I wanted to keep an earlyish bedtime because of this. Later bedtimes it still takes an hour but pushes bedtime too late. And bear in mind DD is up 5.30-6.15am so is an early riser.

Nowadays I'm happy if it takes 30/40 mins for her to settle and irritated but resigned when it's an hour. We have a good BT routine so I just think she needs a bit of downtime right now in her cot to process the day. Her undertired and overtired are v similar but OT does seem to be a bit more active crashing around and crying out rather than just shuffling quietly. She's also a drk room, white noise thumb sucker..

This may all go even more to shit soon though as she is currently settling at nursery and today we will try to nap her. I won't be surprised if we end up with no nap at all (and a 5.30pm bedtime), and at best a 30 minute wonder. The joys...

Life became so much easier when DS eventually dropped his nap and just passes out at 7 from sheer exhaustion.

Suchanamateur Thu 26-Sep-13 10:42:23

Sorry. That was a bit epic. It's as if it's been obsessing me for months... blush

Drinkprunesbutstaynexttotheloo Thu 26-Sep-13 13:02:32

Posting on this thread bit me on the bum last night when he decided to wake up for two hours in the middle of the night - ended up eating toast and watching baby tv at 4am!
I will know not to complain in the future...

Suchanamateur Thu 26-Sep-13 17:34:22

Oh fuck me prunes those long night wakings are just hell. Hope you get a better night tonight.

teacher123 Thu 26-Sep-13 17:41:45

I shall stop complaining immediately if that is what happens wink i hope you have a better night tonight smile I almost want him to give up his nap as then at least I know he's definitely tired and should be in bed! At the moment I can't tell what I should be doing! I moved his nap forward half an hour today and have spent the last half an hour walking round outside and am now in the garden hoping to give him enough fresh air to tire him out!! Hope all nights ok tonight!

Leave his naps. It's a phase and it will pass.

I remember it well (my second is 21 months and we're back to settling quickly again).

It's frustrating for you because it's a change but dont react by trying to force him to sleep by dropping a nap. Naps are Important!

Have you tried holding him and cuddling? You won't be stuck doing it forever.

Suchanamateur Thu 26-Sep-13 18:30:56

DD had half an hour at nursery today, and though she went off much quicker than usual (ie 10 mins) at early bedtime 6pm, I know I'll pay for it. They absolutely still need naps. Although I do enjoy DS dropping like the proverbial stone though.

Good luck for tonight all

Suchanamateur Thu 26-Sep-13 18:32:06

Oh and Creature - you give me hope about 21 months!

teacher123 Thu 26-Sep-13 20:10:53

Well. DH put him to bed at 6.40pm and he was silent immediately! ...for 25 minutes until the neighbours on both sides came home and started crashing about... He then woke up on and off for an hour... Damn the neighbours for ruining my experiment!

I am hoping this is a phase due to massive amounts of development, his brain is buzzing and pinging all over the place, I know he definitely still needs a good nap each Day.

angelinas Fri 27-Sep-13 12:59:54

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZmCl4crDhE

It might not help but it might remind you, you are not alone! It gets better. We can try and laugh I suppose. x

Suchanamateur Fri 27-Sep-13 18:56:26

smile Tis a familiar refrain in our house!

Twattergy Fri 27-Sep-13 19:02:06

Maybe half an hour later for bedtime.plus he might be old enough now for you to do the 'night night' and walk out of the room returning everyu two mins or so, until he drops off.we did this with or 22 month old recently and it worked within 4 days, no crying now when we leave room. I wish wed tried it at about 18 months as it would have saved a good half hour every night settling him. You could get dh to do it to start with ,our ds seemed to let my dh do it more easily than me.

teacher123 Fri 27-Sep-13 21:54:44

He's been self settling for a year so am reluctant to do anything to help him 'go to sleep' as it were. Also he doesn't like it when I go in, he lies down and pretends to be asleep until I go away again!!

Today DH moved his nap earlier and his bedtime a bit later and he settled in 10 minutes, so I think it's a timings tweak more than anything. I have also re-read Ferber's chapter which seems to back that up. At least he's not screaming his head off...! It's all my anxiety that's causing a problem, DS is actually being extremely good, but I want him to be 'perfect' and need reasons for everything he does... Poor DS having all these random expectations on him!

Suchanamateur Sun 29-Sep-13 13:29:01

Good work teacher. Any more progress last night?

We are just in night waking hell. 2.5 hrs on Friday night, 1.5 last night. Ugh. No idea how to handle it!

teacher123 Sun 29-Sep-13 19:57:08

Hi there! Well yesterday DS was at grandma's with DH, and obviously he went to bed like a dream... Didn't wake up till 8am this morning either! As I wasn't there...

Tonight we've had nearly an hour of chatting, bunny squeaking, shouting of joy and general not settling. However he has had a mad day including a birthday party this afternoon and not having a nap until 3.15pm... Therefore tonight is not representative of normal behaviour! (Telling myself this) poor you with the night wakings, that's really rubbish :-(

Suchanamateur Mon 30-Sep-13 10:12:49

That sound promising teacher, and not up till 8am - even if you weren't there, thats amazing!

Our is a sorry tale of woe. Third night in a row of 2 hr night waking - and then up for the day at 5.30. We are all broken. Am about to post in desperation for solutions..

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