Bedtime nightmare of sharers

[AmericasTorturedBrow]

Any wise words of advice?

DS is nearly 5, DD is nearly 2, they share a room. They have had the same bedtime routine forever but for the last month or so have played up so much every sodding bedtime that DS is pretty much every night put to bed in the spare room, and yet they're both still up all hours just fucking messing around. DD particularly just screams like a banshee or thinks its a hilarious game to hide in her for then bounce up again.

We've tried cajoling, bribing, begging, punishing, letting them prat around (they inevitably just wind each other up, practically bouncing off the walls then of course get overtired and start screeching)

Aim for bedtime 7-7:30 but it's been more like 7:30-8 in an attempt to get them down when a bit more tired. They're rarely asleep before 9 and it's just doing my head in - every evening is dreaded battle of wills and I've just fucking well had enough of going to bed with my blood pressure through the roof and wanting to throttle them both.

They're definitely tired, otherwise is be up for just keeping them up. DD supposedly naps still but that's been fucked up the last two or three weeks as well after over a year of a predictable and easy routine of getting her down. DS sometimes power naps but only if unavoidable because otherwise he def isn't ready for bed til 9pm

DD has had shit sleep from the start, she's slept through less than 10x total and there's always some fucking issue around sleep - but bedtimes and naps at least used to be relatively painless.

Any thoughts or suggestions?!

[LongWordsBotherMe]

I feel for you, my boys do the same whenever they share. We had to put them in separate rooms eventually. One thing that works on holiday when they have to share is doing bedtime with the younger one first, making sure he has "special time" first, then doing reading and quiet and boring sounding activities with ds1 before putting him to bed hopefully with both in a calm mood. At home, though, we did have to put them in separate rooms for the sake of all our sanity. If you're not moving one at the start of the night, maybe the excitement of the conflict might not escalate the rest. Hope some of that is helpful.

[CreatureRetorts]

I would separate them. 2 is a classic age for sleep regression...

My two are sharing at the moment (nearly 4 and nearly 2). I have to sit in there until they sleep otherwise they never will! Takes anywhere from 10 mins to 45 depending on naps. We've got them in together as decorating but will separate them again until dd (youngest) gets a bit better.

[AmericasTorturedBrow]

We can separate them for the next week but then we're going home to UK for a month and there is no option but for them to share!

[CreatureRetorts]

Why not try earlier bedtime? Or can you settle one in your room then move through once asleep?

[AmericasTorturedBrow]

Yes I could try earlier I suppose, I've only tried later
When we go home all three of us will share a room, though we could settle DS in my mum and dads bed then move him. Trouble is even separated they muck about so much. Wits end