Hi Ok I've decided to start the Dr Jay Gordon technique, My partner is taking a week off so we can battle it out with the little one. In preparation for it I have dropped another feed in the day which is usually when he naps, instead I am having to drive him around and let him nap in the car, I wanted to help break the feed to sleep association.
At night I put on sleep sleep sleep now and breastfeed him until he gets drowsy, rolls over and goes to sleep, this can take over an hour. I then co sleep with him but start off at the other end of the bed. This has helped in the way that he wakes 3 times now instead of 6+ times.
I guess the next step is stage 2 of dr jay. He already unlatches when he's fed and then rolls over.
I have also ordered a gro clock as a tool but I'm not sure he will understand yet ( he's 2 in 3 weeks).
Basically, any tips, experience or just any comments would be really helpful. I'm poorly and exhausted and my relationship is slowly going downhill as I have to go to sleep with ds every night.
I'm determined but I'm so nervous, he's very stubborn and anything else we have tried has resulted in sobbing and gagging on his saliva.
I can't buy books (now i have bought the clock) and the library don't have the ones I want.
So it's been a week and there has been a big improvement. I have gone from co sleeping and feeding up to 5 times a night (was up to 12 previously), to no feeds, me sleeping on the floor, ds falling asleep on the bed with out me , napping in bed without breastfeed and sleeping from 9(ish) - 6:30/7. He does sometimes whine in his sleep which wakes me but last night didn't make a sound(again). I got 8 hours sleep, hooray!! His mood has also improved making him more bearable to look after in the day. I would say apart from the first night, it has been quite a gentle transition. Good luck to anyone who chooses to night wean.
Yes it's hard to know but I think it may have been the massive plateful of homemade macaroni cheese. He wolfed it down!
Update on night 6. He went to sleep at about 9:10 again I moved on the floor for this. He didn't wake until 5:45 but he did cry out two or three times in his sleep, he didn't wake up though. I think the fact that I was out from 9:30am until 7:30pm probably disturbed threw him a bit, as I've never been away from him that long. The good thing is my Dp managed to get him to sleep for an hour in the day. Anyway he woke at 5:45 and sat up and cried for a couple of minutes before nodding off again. He's stirring now so I then he will need a feed as the sun is up. I moved the time to 6:30.
I should point out that since starting this his moods are much better in the day.
Update on night 5. We had a later bedtime as I had stuff to sort out. He fed til 9:25, I moved off the bed onto the floor and left him to sleep on his 'own'. He fell asleep at 9:40. He didn't wake up until 6:20, he sat up, I ssh'd him but he had a mini tantrum, so as it was almost sun rise on the gro clock I pressed the button early, then made a fuss about it being sun/boob time. He's now feeding. He did fidget a couple of times in the night but no wake ups. Shame I've been awake since 4:30 A break through though, hooray!
Update for night 4. Very brief wake and moan at 2:10, 4:10, 5:55 ten awake at 7:10 for feed, dozed til 8:10. I didn't get on the bed at any point, just lent over the rail and shh'd him and put my hand on his tummy. So tired. The weaning hasn't really stopped him waking, so I'm just not going to engage with him when he wakes.
Day nap not a success today, I ended up losing my rag a bit and putting him in the car for a sleep. It's proving to be quite a stressful week. Having Dp at home is a help in some ways more than others :-)
Im giving plenty of detail so if anyone searches in future can read up how it worked for us. I'm modifying things a bit because not everything goes to plan. Also I wish I could have read more experiences of this method to help gear me up sooner.
After a brief wake up at 5, he woke at 7, then fed (while asleep) til 8:15, he slept through the alarm. I just had a couple of hours catch up. Tonight I may not get on the bed when he wakes, I'll just shh him back.
Ds and I sat on the bed and fed until abot 8:40 Then he laid down and wriggled for 20 before going to sleep at 9. I moved to the air bed, he didn't wake until 3:20, he cried and rolled around on and off for 20 minutes then went back off until 4:40 and went back off after a minute. I just lay next to him and shh'd him. Now I just have to get off the bed without waking him. I've been awake since 3:20, but had 6 hours, I kept waking up because I'm not used to air beds. Will report back. Oh he's just started. This has always been the dodgy part of the morning.
Update for anyone that's interested. Ds wanted to go to bed at 7pm, I fed him but he started to fall asleep on the breast so I woke him up and sat up to feed him. Eventually he went off at 8:40 after laying down on his own. He woke at 11:30, cried and rolled for 3 minutes, then went back off. This happened again at 12:30 and 1:30. He woke again at 3:10 and cried for a bit longer, after about 15 he was fast asleep again. He woke at 6:25 at this point the sun was up on the gro clock so I fed him, we both fell asleep until 7:30, then he woke and fell asleep til 8:10 when the alarm went off. His crying wasn't sobbing like the previous night it was more of a moan and he didn't wake fully.
I've just had a breakthrough, at 1pm I took him to bed and told him no boob, I kept saying lay on the bed, lets go to sleep, after 40 mins of him running around and playing I got firm and told him in a firm voice to stay on the bed, we then laid down, it took 15 minutes but he finally nodded off, with me laying next to him, in silence, with my hand on his belly. Normally I would be driving around for 20 minutes then sitting in my car while he sleeps, so this is a bloody miracle. I couldn't face driving feeling this tired, it's not safe.
I hope I'm not doing too much too soon but I just thought while I'm teaching him to fall asleep on his own at night, I may as well deal with the naps. I hope he keeps it up.
He woke at 4:20 and did the same, whingey and rolling about but laid next to him and he went straight back to sleep, did the same at 5:20, he was a bit restless but pretty much slept til 7:10, I pointed out the sun had come up and he could have boob, he the fell asleep on me (I was knackered) then he woke at 8am, had a quick feed then called for Dp. I then went back to bed for 2 hours. I'm nervous about tonight but glad I had no more screaming, he seemed to accept it after he stopped crying.
It's under dr jay Gordon night weaning, that's how I found the info. Can't link as on my iPod.
Report of first waking (now that I'm awake). Just got ds back off to sleep after 2 hours, but no boob! Hooray! He wailed for 45 minutes, I tried bouncing, walking, rocking, sshing, talking softly to him and just sitting with him. But he ended up falling back to sleep independently. I'm relieved that is over. I think he got over the no boob after an hour and a half, but took another half hour to settle to sleep himself. I've set the alarm for 8 am so we don't end up laying in or he'll just feed and sleep for hours, which is defeating the object. I just kept saying booby gone to sleep/nunights, you can have booby when the sun comes up ( which is 6am according to gro clock). I offered water but he refused, just goes to show. Now for the 4-5am wake up, that is a big one! Sorry if post is jumbled, I've only had 3 hours sleep. I'll update in the morning.