Weaning 2yo ds. Tips needed!

(33 Posts)
Purlesque Fri 16-Aug-13 13:57:07

Hi
Ok I've decided to start the Dr Jay Gordon technique,
My partner is taking a week off so we can battle it out with the little one.
In preparation for it I have dropped another feed in the day which is usually when he naps, instead I am having to drive him around and let him nap in the car, I wanted to help break the feed to sleep association.

At night I put on sleep sleep sleep now and breastfeed him until he gets drowsy, rolls over and goes to sleep, this can take over an hour.
I then co sleep with him but start off at the other end of the bed.
This has helped in the way that he wakes 3 times now instead of 6+ times.

I guess the next step is stage 2 of dr jay.
He already unlatches when he's fed and then rolls over.

I have also ordered a gro clock as a tool but I'm not sure he will understand yet ( he's 2 in 3 weeks).

Basically, any tips, experience or just any comments would be really helpful.
I'm poorly and exhausted and my relationship is slowly going downhill as I have to go to sleep with ds every night.

I'm determined but I'm so nervous, he's very stubborn and anything else we have tried has resulted in sobbing and gagging on his saliva.

I can't buy books (now i have bought the clock) and the library don't have the ones I want.

Please help keep me strong!

OnTheRunFromTheAcademe Fri 16-Aug-13 14:48:09

I have just done the jay Gordon method with 16mo ds. I hadn't planned on doing it till he was past 2yo, but found myself unexpectedly pregnant and desperately in need of sleep.

We started from step one as ds was still suckling to sleep (and in his sleep, sometimes for hours). The first couple of nights he sat up and cried for 20 minutes or so each time I unlatched him, then cuddled up and went to sleep. The third night he cried for five minutes and the fourth night he didn't cry at all.

When we moved on to step two he did pretty much the same thing - cried for about 20 mins the first couple of nights, then less, then not at all. Now when he wakes up he cuddles up to me, sometimes he puts his head on my shoulder, I rub his back a bit and hum, and he is back to sleep within a couple of minutes.

He now goes from 10pm to around 6.30am without feeding. He was waking every two hours or so, he now stirs once around 4am and is straight back to sleep. We started the process three weeks ago, so it's a pretty remarkable transformation!

He will also now allow his dad to comfort him during the night, although I still do bedtime. Unexpectedly, it has also made getting him to sleep at bedtime a lot easier - from an hour and a half of feeding to about 20 minutes. Nap times have got easier as well.

It was hard for the first few nights. I was frequently in tears when he was crying. But I felt reassured that he was never left alone to cry, and he was absolutely fine during the day, as happy and affectionate as always.

We have seen a massive change in a very short period, and I would have to say it has been positive for all of us.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do - I hope it goes well!

flipflopson5thavenue Fri 16-Aug-13 18:28:41

watching with interest as I'm planning to use this methods in a few weeks. DS is 13mo and wakes 2/3 times at night, sometimes more (he's in his cot in own room) and simply won't go back to sleep without boob. He's starting nursery next week so going to wait until he's settled in and used to his new routines and then see where we are then and give it ago. I can't do anymore interrupted nights :-(

Purlesque Fri 16-Aug-13 19:51:57

Thanks, he's a boob monster so I'm guessing he'll be beside himself like the previous times I've tried to get him to sleep without boob.
Something has to change though so we have to see it through.
I now have the gro clock but I'm not sure if it will work, I'm hoping it will help at least.

BazilGin Wed 21-Aug-13 20:56:00

Hi, so how is it going? We have just done a variation of Jay Gordon with our 2 year old DD. She used to wake up up to 3-4 times a nght expecting to be boobed to sleep. I have started resenting it a bit and we were so tired.
I got her this book on amazon nursiesbook.com/ and was reading it a few times a day, trying to relay the message : bf when the sun shines. Also got the gro clock which helped with the concept of when the sun shines a bit more. During the day, I would refer and remind her about the sun whenever she asked for bf ("do you want to have milk? Let's check your clock, yay it's sunshine, we drink milk when the sun shines etc"). At night, hubby took over for some of the resettling which helped. First week was an absolute nihgtmare, lots of crying, but always in arms, either dh or me would stroke/pat/remind about nighttime (milkies sleep at night).

This is our 3rd week and the results are satisfactory for me. She does 9 hours straight, but wakes up really early (around 5) and will not settle until she gets milk. So I put the clock to get the sun out at 5 and she comes to our bed. In a few months time, once I know that the sleep is a bit more established, I will try to work on the early wakings....

Oh, by the way, first few days of night weaning she wanted to nurse constantly during the day and I let her. i think she wanted reassurance that it is still there. It's back to what it was during the day.

k2togm1 Thu 22-Aug-13 03:01:47

Marking place as a reminder to google this dr Gordon!

How is it going op?

Purlesque Fri 23-Aug-13 08:12:40

We start on Saturday, I'll update as I go.
I'm shitting myself because I know what he's like!

Purlesque Fri 23-Aug-13 08:14:29

Btw thanks for replies.
I hope to stick to 2 day feeds for now, if the weaning is successful I will tackle the bedtime feed.

k2togm1 Fri 23-Aug-13 11:23:12

Oh good luck! It's terrifying! grin

Can someone post a direct link to the technique? I'm looking on his website but can find it (its hard to browse on phones).

Purlesque Sat 24-Aug-13 02:48:55

It's under dr jay Gordon night weaning, that's how I found the info.
Can't link as on my iPod.

Report of first waking (now that I'm awake).
Just got ds back off to sleep after 2 hours, but no boob! Hooray!
He wailed for 45 minutes, I tried bouncing, walking, rocking, sshing, talking softly to him and just sitting with him.
But he ended up falling back to sleep independently.
I'm relieved that is over. I think he got over the no boob after an hour and a half, but took another half hour to settle to sleep himself.
I've set the alarm for 8 am so we don't end up laying in or he'll just feed and sleep for hours, which is defeating the object.
I just kept saying booby gone to sleep/nunights, you can have booby when the sun comes up ( which is 6am according to gro clock).
I offered water but he refused, just goes to show.
Now for the 4-5am wake up, that is a big one!
Sorry if post is jumbled, I've only had 3 hours sleep.
I'll update in the morning.

Purlesque Sat 24-Aug-13 02:51:34

Oh yeah and I decided to bring it forward by one night, I have a funeral to go to on Wednesday so wanted the worse to be over by then.
Fingers crossed!

Purlesque Sat 24-Aug-13 03:23:42

He just spent 2 minutes, rolling around crying and rooting, but I said ssh go to sleep and he did.
That's never happened before!

k2togm1 Sat 24-Aug-13 11:23:38

Oh we'll done for surviving wake #1! What happened at 4/5?
I am not sure I am strong enough for 45 min of crying hmm I will need to prepare myself somehow...

Purlesque Sat 24-Aug-13 11:49:52

He woke at 4:20 and did the same, whingey and rolling about but laid next to him and he went straight back to sleep, did the same at 5:20, he was a bit restless but pretty much slept til 7:10, I pointed out the sun had come up and he could have boob, he the fell asleep on me (I was knackered) then he woke at 8am, had a quick feed then called for Dp.
I then went back to bed for 2 hours.
I'm nervous about tonight but glad I had no more screaming, he seemed to accept it after he stopped crying.

Purlesque Sun 25-Aug-13 14:11:03

Update for anyone that's interested.
Ds wanted to go to bed at 7pm, I fed him but he started to fall asleep on the breast so I woke him up and sat up to feed him. Eventually he went off at 8:40 after laying down on his own.
He woke at 11:30, cried and rolled for 3 minutes, then went back off. This happened again at 12:30 and 1:30.
He woke again at 3:10 and cried for a bit longer, after about 15 he was fast asleep again. He woke at 6:25 at this point the sun was up on the gro clock so I fed him, we both fell asleep until 7:30, then he woke and fell asleep til 8:10 when the alarm went off.
His crying wasn't sobbing like the previous night it was more of a moan and he didn't wake fully.

I've just had a breakthrough, at 1pm I took him to bed and told him no boob, I kept saying lay on the bed, lets go to sleep, after 40 mins of him running around and playing I got firm and told him in a firm voice to stay on the bed, we then laid down, it took 15 minutes but he finally nodded off, with me laying next to him, in silence, with my hand on his belly.
Normally I would be driving around for 20 minutes then sitting in my car while he sleeps, so this is a bloody miracle.
I couldn't face driving feeling this tired, it's not safe.

I hope I'm not doing too much too soon but I just thought while I'm teaching him to fall asleep on his own at night, I may as well deal with the naps. I hope he keeps it up.

Purlesque Sun 25-Aug-13 14:14:20

Getting him to nap involved a few tears both nothing major.
I'm so proud of how he's taken to the weaning.

Purlesque Sun 25-Aug-13 14:14:46

But not both

k2togm1 Sun 25-Aug-13 16:06:44

Oh well done! Keep posting if you like, I'm still reading smile as I try to gather courage!

Well done OP. Sounds like all is going well, keep it up smile.

Keep with the updates as it is great for people about to wean or are mid weaning.

Btw, I hope the funeral on Wednesday goes as well. My condolences flowers

Purlesque Sun 25-Aug-13 19:02:15

Cracked thank you.

I hope he doesn't wake as often tonight, I'm shattered!

I'm glad to update if it helps anyone else.

...round 3!

Purlesque Mon 26-Aug-13 04:58:31

Hi
I might aswell update now I'm awake.

Ds and I sat on the bed and fed until abot 8:40 grin
Then he laid down and wriggled for 20 before going to sleep at 9.
I moved to the air bed, he didn't wake until 3:20, he cried and rolled around on and off for 20 minutes then went back off until 4:40 and went back off after a minute.
I just lay next to him and shh'd him.
Now I just have to get off the bed without waking him. I've been awake since 3:20, but had 6 hours, I kept waking up because I'm not used to air beds.
Will report back.
Oh he's just started. This has always been the dodgy part of the morning.

Purlesque Mon 26-Aug-13 06:52:29

He moaning for 5 minutes before going back to sleep and hasn't woken since, I wish I could say the same for me sad

k2togm1 Mon 26-Aug-13 11:41:34

Oh you are doing so well! I know what you mean, on the rare nights when ds sleeps well I find myself awake just waiting for him to wake up confused

Hope your nights improve before the funeral.

Purlesque Mon 26-Aug-13 12:26:08

After a brief wake up at 5, he woke at 7, then fed (while asleep) til 8:15, he slept through the alarm.
I just had a couple of hours catch up.
Tonight I may not get on the bed when he wakes, I'll just shh him back.

Purlesque Mon 26-Aug-13 12:29:16

Im giving plenty of detail so if anyone searches in future can read up how it worked for us.
I'm modifying things a bit because not everything goes to plan.
Also I wish I could have read more experiences of this method to help gear me up sooner.

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