So miserable: 11mth old wont nap: should I just not worry?

(7 Posts)
SquidgersMummy Wed 03-Jul-13 14:59:27

My DD is 11mths. She really started crawling and cruising a few weeks back and then tried to give up naps! Obviously this doesn't work well for her! I seem to now be spending all day trying to get two naps in. Up till now she would wake at 7.20, at least an hour mid morn, two hours later afternoon, bed usually around 8,
feeds at 12 and then fm 4 stirs a few times (so we've coslept). If we go out in the buggy she has an hour, nearly two; with going to babygroups etc she's often had a catnap on the way there, got overtired then had a bigger nap on the way back. Then her 2 hr afternoon nap hasn't been until 3 - even 4. So this week I have been trying to get the am nap in earlier. She's happily done that but will not go to sleep after lunch. So we either have a late afternoon nap and then she's not tired until 8 and I have to co sleep to get her down, or no afternoon nap and she is so tired she can be put in the cot to sleep on her own at 7 (she then comes in with us at 12ish). She went down at 7 last night and had a good 12 hours - she never gets that usually. It's my last month off with her before going to work and its just taking over. We should be just having a nice time instead. If she has an earlier morn nap we can't go anywhere. I just think she's not getting enough sleep. She has no ability to self settle. She has always been fed to sleep. All the books are very critical about this - but did they breastfeed?? Anyway just feeling rubbish about it all. Sorry, it's so tedious. hmm

This is about the age when they start to cut down to one nap a day. Some are happier with a really long morning nap and then last through till an early bedtime, and others have a long nap after lunch. Would either of those work? To start with you have to work quite hard at not letting them sleep when it's not naptime - even a 5-minute snooze in the car at 11am would stop mine from napping after lunch.

SquidgersMummy Wed 03-Jul-13 15:06:40

You know what a 2 hr nap and an early bed, for a proper 12 hr sleep, would be fine. But is it too soon to be dropping a nap. I suppose if she's getting more sleep overall it doesn't matter? Thanks x

MillionPramMiles Wed 03-Jul-13 16:26:54

Agree you might want to drop one nap. We generally do either a big morning nap (and early bedtime) or big early afternoon nap with our 14 month old.
If your dd will be going to nursery when you go back to work they quite often aim for one post lunch nap.
I spent most of my maternity leave obsessing about naps but once dd was 8/9 months and not screaming all day long I should have just relaxed about it. I feel much more relaxed now I only think about it 3 days a week instead of 7!

CabbageHead Fri 05-Jul-13 01:54:38

I struggled with ds when he started crawling cruising... Do anything you can to stop the overtired cycle and she will probably come back into balance again.. Even if it means you cant go anywhere in the morning.. I have those same issue, but as ds always been a crap sleeper our lives are resigned to fit in between his naps..

So when he wakes he gets book time, breakfast, bit of play time, then take him out for walk around neighbourhood, then naptime.. This timeframe is quite short, usually over 2 to 2.5hrs... Then its a longer time until arvo nap so i do errands then (lunchtime) and then after the arvo nap. I have tried dropping to one nap as there has been so much pressure on me to do so, all it does is makes him so OT that he starts night waking and early am waking, fussing at mealtimes and generally he is unable to cope as well as normal.. Not much fun.

I just spent all of yesterday trying to break his Ot cycle after having 3days of one nap which just got shorter and shorter ( 1 hour is not enough to last him an entire day!). Didnt manage it yesterday but early bed last night which meant dad missed out on playing with him before bedtime but that helped me today, back to 2naps phew! So if dropping to one nap keep the early bedtimes in place otherwise you will end up with a fatigued bub and that is really hard to catch up sleep then (in my experience anyway, but i have a crap napper so might be different to others experiences!)

At the moment i alternate, a few one day naps and a few 2day naps, its the only way i can manage the lack of sleep issue regarding the 2to 1 transition. Good luck! smile

SquidgersMummy Fri 05-Jul-13 19:10:45

Thanks all. By design and fluke we have tried a few diff routines. A long am nap results in best night sleep. Wont fit with nursery at allconfused More importantly I have got a grip of myself and realised its really not such a big deal and going out does us all an awful lot of good. Phew ....kind of lost the plot a bit....missing the afternoon nap you see. Right bedtime for Squidger xx

flipflopson5thavenue Mon 08-Jul-13 09:37:18

CabbageHead - how old is your LO? Your story/schedule is very familiar. DS is almost 12mo and starts nursery end of August. There he'll only be having one 2hr nap after lunch, whereas at home he has 1.5hr morning nap and then about 30-45 mins mid afternoon, bed about 7-730pm.
DP and others saying we should try to get him into one long lunchtime nap now so he's ready for nursery but I think it feels cruel to force him to have less sleep when he clearly wants two naps a day. He'll have to adapt at nursery anyway, so why take away his napping early. Having said that he often fights the second nap and sometimes he won't fall asleep til 330 to 4pm, and then he's not really ready for bed til 730-8pm, so it takes longer to get him to sleep at bedtime. So I know he's in transition but not sure how to deal with it.
Maybe one long nap for 3 days at nursery and two naps when he's at home the rest of the week will actually work out as a good way to deal with the transition.

SquidgersMummy - I know what you mean re feeding to sleep and all the negative press it gets. I've fed to sleep at all naps and at bedtime since birth, and although I have started putting him down awake at bedtime (in an attempt to get him to learn to self-settle..), I still bfeed to sleep for his naps. God knows what's going to happen at nursery as he's refusing a bottle (again). Friends tell me that the children develop 'herd' behaviour and he'll just drift off peacefully to sleep like all the other children. HHhhhmmmm, we'll see...

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