HELP 10wo who will only nap in my arms

(13 Posts)
Charlotte1984 Tue 02-Jul-13 09:06:53

Hi
My son will only nap in the day in my arms-I constantly try to put him down in the Moses basket but as soon as I place him in, he starts screaming. The room is dark and quiet, ive trued shushing, stroking his head, patting hus tummy etc but he continues to cry until I pick him up when he promptly falls asleep again.
I dont understand as he sleeps well at night, goes down at 9, wakes at 3 and then at 6/7.

Just really need a break from him during the day (even had to have a wee holding him yesterday!)

Help, what am I doing wrong?

BotBotticelli Tue 02-Jul-13 09:15:43

Have you tried putting the moses basket in the living room, instead of in a dark quiet room? until our DS was around 12 weeks old he took all his daytime naps in the living room with the TV/lights on etc. I think he was reassured by all the familiar noises. We only started putting him in his cot for naps at around 3.5 months old when it started to become clear that he couldn't settle in the lounge anymmore/was getting distracted.

Also, have you tried:

putting him in moses basket in lounge before he falls asleep (ie when you think he is probably getting tired, around 90 mins after he last woke up?)

swaddling before putting in the moses basket?

a dummy? (some people not keen but our DS needed one to settle in the day from about 3 weeks old).

We used to swaddle ds, give him a dummy, and put him in the moses in the living room at that age. He might cry and bit but after replacing the dummy a couple of times he would usually drift off.

Failing all of the above, maybe give up on the moses basket for the time being and buy a decent sling so DS can nap all cosy squished up to your body whilst you get on with things/have a wee etc.

Or if you're not keen on a sling, can you try walking DS round the block in the pram till he falls asleep and then wheeling it back into the house and leaving him to sleep in the hallway? Or some babies will go off to sleep just being rocked in the buggy in the hallway? Or my friend swears by her vibrating baby bouncer chair....we never had one but her son takes all his daytime naps in that (again, in the lounge with the telly on etc etc).

Sorry for the random brain dump of information, hope one of these things helps.

BotBotticelli Tue 02-Jul-13 09:20:24

ps - not much consolation at the moment I know, but 12wo is still v young and your DS will gradually change/develop/get more settled on his own (and hopefully start sleeping more deeply during the day too)....you don't necessarily have to do anything to fix this situation. It will likely resolve itself, you just have to ride it out. When I realised this when DS was around 16wo i suddently felt much less stressed out by the whole thing. You never hear of 2 year olds taking all their naps in their mums arms (repeat to self during the loooong days when your OH is at work, and make sure you get out for an hour or two at the weekend if you can).

my DS is now 7mo and takes his first nap of the day in his cot quite happily well, after crying/babbling himself to sleep for 10 mins and then takes his other naps during the day either in his buggy/the car if we're out and about, or the cot if we're at home. he only naps in my arms now if we're at a friend's house, for example, and he's really tired and grumpy. Then I will rock him to sleep in my arms. But it is a rare occurence. I never would have believed this when he was 12wo! so hang in there! And keep trying different things: I have found the thing with babies is: something that seems impossible or which they hate one week, might work really well if you try it again a week or too later.

Charlotte1984 Tue 02-Jul-13 09:25:58

Thank you for your kind words and advice-I guess I just have to accept on some level that he is just not a very good napper. Im just impatient to get on with things but perhaps just have to accept that for now that is not possible.
He is such a light sleeper (wakes up if you even sneeze) that thought having him in front room would not work but like you say, maybe it is worth s try! We gave resorted to a dummy very reluctantly but otherwise it was my finger in his mouth!!

WeleaseWodger Tue 02-Jul-13 09:30:22

You're not doing anything wrong. He screams because he needs to be close to you. Your scent, warmth, touch reassures him all is ok and he can relax and go to sleep.

When you put him down, he senses potential "danger" and stirs to find you, when he doesn't he cried out to you so you can find him. It's his survival instinct.

Give it time. Mine slept on my chest and I propped myself with pillows and duvets like a human bean bag for safety in case I dozed off. I still have an expensive, unused arms reach co sleeper as proof that babies don't do "planning".

Mycatistoosexy Tue 02-Jul-13 09:30:26

I have no suggestions on how to get him out of your arms. My DS is one and still terrible at sleeping without me close.

Have you tried a sling so at least while he sleeps you can have your arms free?

Sorry for not a very helpful solution

NutBiscuit Tue 02-Jul-13 09:48:13

I had exactly the same issue with my DS, now 14 weeks. My saviour was a swing (set to the fastest speed) and white noise (loud). He now has all his naps in the swing if we're at home, although will also nap in a moving buggy or car if we're out.

Remember that they don't stay little for long...I tried to console myself during the worst periods that at least I was getting lots of lovely newborn snuggles! It honestly won't last forever and you are doing the best thing for your DS by keeping him where he wants to be - close to you!

tiredpooky Tue 02-Jul-13 13:09:48

heh charlotte, IMHO its just normal. he's so little, i would suggest you dont fight it, get a sling and carry on as normal, he can sleep in it and you can rest or get all sorts of jobs done, (even your own wees and poos!). it seems to me they will settle in moses/cot when they are ready with a little help and its too much like hard work before they aRE ready. My DS was 8m when i finally settled in cot, sleeps before were in sling/pushchair/being held., good luck

LandaMc Tue 02-Jul-13 16:47:23

I'm so jealous of the nighttime sleeping! My 13 wk old wakes to feed every 2 hrs, around the clock. Count your blessings!

valiumredhead Tue 02-Jul-13 16:48:52

Sling?

valiumredhead Tue 02-Jul-13 16:49:15

Yy completely normal btw!

CityDweller Thu 04-Jul-13 22:25:23

My 11 wk old is the same. Sleeps well at night, but rubbish during the day. Will really only do a decent daytime nap either in my arms or in her sling, whereas at night she sleeps in her crib fine. A few weeks ago I was managing to her her to take a nap in the morning in her crib or moses basket, but that seems to have gone out the window - not sure why.

For now, I'm just going with it. In the same way I'm going with the fact that I feed her to sleep at night. I figure she's still pretty tiny, in the grand scheme of things, and it'll sort itself out eventually.

philbee Sat 06-Jul-13 06:53:06

Same here. I'm also just accepting it now. Like citydweller I seem to geta few days when she'll go in the cot for one nap and then that stops. I usually go to the toilet if I think she's nearly due a nap so I won't have to manoeuvre with her in arms.

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