WWYD lots of changes in toddlers life (21m) and night waking

[rowtunda]

Initially posted in parenting but think I may get more feedback here.....

Due to lots of circumstances out of our control we have had to move house and childminder in the same fortnight. In the week preceeding this our 21 month old DS spent the 6 nights at his grandparents (who spoilt him like rotten and take absolutely no notice of any rountine!)

Prior to all this he was sleeping 1.5-2hrs 12-2 in the day and then 7-6 at night. Now though we have taken a massive step backwards and to start off with he was refusing to sleep in the cot at all and crying everytime it was nap or bedtime.

We now have instigated a bit of a rountine again and he is good at going to bed (no tears) and some wimpering at lunchtime nap but he has started waking in the night and being unconsolable and we are completely unable to settle him - he will be quiet when you give him a hug but as sson as you try to put him back in the cot or leave the room he starts wailing again. He is also very unsettled when I leave him at the new childminders (but i think this is normal and just hoping it will settle down).

The last two nights I have had to bring him into bed with me which although it hasn't been too bad i do not want to get into this habit I want him happy in his own room and own cot.

I am a bit of an advocate of CC and have used it well in the past but becuase he has had so much upheaval in his life recently I am wary of using it. I really don't know why he is waking and crying for us in the night - is he scared of the new room/dark/separation anxiety? or does he just want attention/ to get into our bed etc.

I am also 6 months pregnant so I would like to try and knock this on the head as soon as possible!

WWYD - sleep in the same room as him for a bit? night light? or CC? I really don't want to start co sleeping as i think it will just exacerbate the problems but it is the easy solution in the middle of the night when you have to work the next day.

any suggestions/ advice/ prev experience appreciated

[gameofmoans]

Hopefully this is a phase and a response to all the changes in his life - I would just keep doing what you're doing i.e cuddle and comfort him in the night when he wakes up and keep putting him back in to his own bed when he seems sleepy and calm. If he cried again then repeat until he allows you to settle him back in to bed, even if this takes a few hours. We have gone through phases like this with our DS, usually in response to change, illness, teeth etc and they have never lasted more than a week or so. I know it is tiring to sit with him for hours when you are pregnant and have work the next day but hopefully it will be a short term effort for a long term gain. If you don't want to have him in bed with you long term then don't give in to this temptation as it will quickly set a precedent that will be hard to break. I guess. You want to be giving the message that mummy is always here when you're sad and distressed to help you get back to sleep but that his cot is the right place for him to be. I'm not a fan of CC in general but I definitely wouldn't try it in this situation as he probably already feels a bit scared and confused and if nobody comes when he cries I would imagine that would feel really scary and lonely for him.
Good luck, I know these wee steps backwards can really get you down but remember most things are a phase and I bet he will settle down before long.

[Fantail]

We have gone through this situation with our DD when she was 24 months.

First, check to make sure he isn't teething.

We do bring her in with us or one of us will settle her and then stay a little while on the spare bed in her room. She does have night terrors and I think from the amount of sleep talking very vivid dreams, so comfort and reassurance is what she needs. You just have to be consistent.