Support thread for getting DC into own room

(89 Posts)
Forgetfulmog Fri 24-May-13 09:05:05

Hi!

I've been co-sleeping with dd for about 4 months now (completely unintentional - she just wouldn't settle on her own). Anyway she's now 8.5 months & have decided that tonight is the night we will start putting her in her own cot in her own room. Aaarghhh!

She's ebf & atm wakes up 1-2 hourly for feeds. Hopefully this won't continue in her own room!

DH & I are going to try the NCSS, but I suspect we may just end up making it up as we go along grin. We are completely anti cc (no offence to anyone who's tried it, but it's just not for us). We've agreed that, no matter what, dd is not coming into our bed (famous last words!).

So, anyone else trying to get their DC into their own room & want to share tips, concerns or rants?? smile

happydaze77 Fri 24-May-13 21:20:49

I'll join you.
We were planning to move dd to her own room sometime this week. It's now friday . . . hmmm.
She sleeps well in her cot, but it's taken a while to get there and I think that is what has made us so hesitant to take the next step.
How tonight going?

Forgetfulmog Fri 24-May-13 21:38:53

Hi happy smile

Well, she slept for 25 mins & that's about it so far. I've been keeping a log:

7.15 asleep in cot
7.40 woke up crying
8.35 back in cot
8.40 woke up crying
9.35 fed
9.30 asleep, in cot
9.33 awake

The night is yet young! I did but some chocolate today in preparation for tonight grin

How old is your dd?

I did it gradually. You're about to hit a 9 months sleep regression which was hard with both of mine.

I had a bed in their room so I could cosleep if need be. We worked on putting dd in her room at the start of the night then cosleep the rest. It gradually worked up to her spending all night in there.

galwaygirl Fri 24-May-13 21:51:25

We just moved DD but she is almost two blush
We started off by cosleeping with her in the new room, then gradually moved her into her new toddler bed and now we could totally leave her except DH tends to sleep in there as I'm heavily pregnant and prefer having our bed to myself!
Good luck! I think getting them gradually used to the new room helps.

I've been co-sleeping with my 20month old DS since he was born and have been worried about getting him into his own bed/room for ages. Unbelievably tonight he just got into his own bed and said "night night". He was playing and pretending to sleep but I lay down with him and he's gone to sleep. My DH and I are really surprised. Like you, I don't expect it to last the whole night but I can't believe he's done it all on his own (even if it's way later than we intended).
Good luck tonight! I'm no expert but if you stick to your guns your DD should have mastered sleeping in her cot in a few nights.

Forgetfulmog Fri 24-May-13 22:12:57

Creature - sleep regression??!! She's never slept more than 4 hrs since she was born & has been waking hourly for the last month!

Well she's finally back to sleep in her cot. For how long who knows. I am not giving in though - going to sit in her room for a while & see how it goes.

Thanks for all your support ladies smile

Forgetfulmog Fri 24-May-13 23:09:24

Maybe I have a low tolerance threshold or something but this is hellish hmm

I have zero tolerance for crying - hence co-sleeping for the last 20months and my DS went through a phase of waking (and feeding) more than 10 times a night so I feel your pain OP. Things will change but this phase may last longer than you'd hope! I can't offer any advice as all babies are so different, but I can reassure you that it won't always be like this. Good luck tonight.

Forgetfulmog Sat 25-May-13 01:01:14

Thanks marmite smile. I am reminded if why I chose to co-sleep in the first place grin

Well it's nearly 1 & I'm still alive (!) - keeping vigil. Had to resort to the old favourite of White Noise.

How many hours til dawn?! Gonna let DH sleep for now & will then boot him out at 2

Forgetfulmog Sat 25-May-13 06:27:37

Well we survived!

Here is my log from last night:

7.15 asleep in cot
7.40 woke up crying
8.35 back in cot
8.40 woke up crying
9.35 fed
9.30 asleep, in cot
9.33 awake
10.08 asleep in cot
10.25 awake
10.35 asleep in cot
10.40 awake
11.05 fed
11.26 asleep in cot
11.57 awake
12.30 asleep in cot
12.45 awake
12.53 asleep in cot
1.30 -1.50 awake multiple times
2.30 fed
2.40 asleep
5.05 fed & up for the day

Trouble is dd now appears to have a cold hmm

I really would go easy. If she's got a cold, if you do this for a few nights you're going to be shattered! At least have a bed set up in her room so you can lie next to her cot?

Forgetfulmog Sat 25-May-13 09:02:39

I know creature hmm. Unfortunately there's no room in her room for a bed & I have a bad back so can't sleep on the floor. DH & I are taking it in turns though. It's going to be tough but we just need to get through it. <repeat as necessary grin>

Yes I remember that feeling - we ploughed through with ds painfully but took a more slow approach with dd.

Forgetfulmog Sat 25-May-13 09:16:57

How long did it take with DS creature?

UserNameAngst Sat 25-May-13 09:33:36

Hello, in a similar boat here. DS2 is 8.5mo, co slept since day 1. From about 6mo he goes down in a cot on his own room and then comes to our bed 10.30ish. Last night I had another go at keeping him in his own room all night. He woke up every 3 hours and at 4 I brought him into bed. After speaking to the hv I had considered trying not to feed between 11 and 5ish but there was no way he was having that, and when he fed he properly gulped it down. So I feel your pain!

I found NCSS helpful. I also am seeing some improvements as solids are established. I think it's just going to be a slow job!

happydaze77 Sat 25-May-13 10:13:51

Forgetfulmog, sounds like you had a difficult night. I hope it gets better.
Our dd is 6 1/2 months old. We noticed a big improvement with her sleeping when we started using white noise and blacked out our room. We put up a gro anywhere blind as well as blackout curtains, and downloaded a free white noise app on my ipod. She started napping better in the day and went from waking around 5am (as the mornings got lighter and lighter) to waking around 6:30/7am.
Well, we moved her into her room last night, after her dreamfeed. I know, very sneaky! We've borrowed a cot so that we now have a cot in our room and one in her room. She didn't seem to notice and slept through, and was very happy this morning. Mustn't get complacent though -there's a fine line between 'real improvement' and 'false hope'!

happydaze77 Sat 25-May-13 10:21:45

Forgot to add, our dd's room is also too small to add a bed/mattress sad It would be so much easier to move out of their room.

Forgetfulmog Sat 25-May-13 11:35:25

Hi User & Happy smile

Yes I do have a white noise app too - it's been invaluable over the last few months, even if it is now completely getting on my nerves! Happy - does your dd wake up screaming if you move her into her cot when she is asleep? Mine might stay asleep for a little bit & then she'll do her "startle reflex" & wake up screaming. Putting in cot dozey, but awake doesn't work either - what do people mean when they say that anyway?!

Believeitornot Sat 25-May-13 11:36:13

Would you be happy putting her on her tummy? That stopped mine doing that quite so much

Forgetfulmog Sat 25-May-13 12:00:34

I could try that believe - atm she just raises her head if I do that, but if I waited til she was asleep that might work. Will try tonight! Thank you smile

Forgetfulmog Sun 26-May-13 08:03:53

Well we tried last night, but dd started crying after 15 mins. Then I started crying hmm & we decided that with her cold it wasn't fair to start her in her cot so we took her into our bed. Poor little mite was shattered.

happydaze77 Sun 26-May-13 10:17:53

Hi again. I think you're doing the right thing by keeping things the same while she's feeling poorly, bless her.
I know it may take longer overall, but have you considered trying to get her used to the cot while it's in your room still? Then, once that's established, move her into her own room.
Also you asked me: "does your dd wake up screaming if you move her into her cot when she is asleep?" - she did, very much so. We used to have to lower her in, trying not to wake her - it was a back breaker, and also very frustrating when it didn't work. As time went on though she seemed to be able to stir a little, yet not wake up, or put herself back off to sleep. We just placed her in as steadily as we could and gave her a little time (whilst we lay in bed, not daring to move, or even breathe!).
I think, with our dd, the crucial thing was that she was already flat on her back, in our bed, rather than being asleep in our arms. So she wasn't really changing position, iyswim?
I totally agree with you about the 'put them down drowsy' advice - dd is never drowsy - she's either awake or asleep!
We're now able to put dd down, totally awake and just walk away. I swear if someone had told me a month ago that I would be able to do this I would have laughed in their face (and slapped them probably).
If you like, I can explain how we've got there? I don't want to sound like I'm preaching to you though, especially as your dd is older than mine, so you're more experienced than I am. I also understand that what works for one doesn't necessarily work for all.

happydaze77 Sun 26-May-13 10:19:41

PS: we didn't do CC. As you said, no offence to those who do, bit it wasn't for us - mainly because I know I would cave in.

Forgetfulmog Sun 26-May-13 19:40:23

Happy you have given me hope! I feel like there is now light at the end of the tunnel! Yes, please tell me how you get there in the end. No I don't think you're being patronising at all & just because my dd is older than you doesn't mean I have more experience (well I certainly don't feel like I do anyway!).

Good point about the cot being in our room - we've got one of those side-car cots atm which we will have to dismantle (dd only slept in there for about a month & now I use it as a bedside table blush - she's way too big for it now). Will see what DH thinks about the cot idea.

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