issues waking thru the night

[harrygracebaxter]

Hi All,

DD is 28months and is in a proper bed.......for about 3 months now. for the last couple of months she has been a total nightmare waking up anywhere between 2 and 7 times every night. There is absolutely no issues going to sleep, good routine and asleep by 7.30 but then she wakes around 11, no tantrums, just shouts me, i go up, she climbs back in bed, asks for a kiss and cuddle, i leave and she is straight back to sleep. she sometimes asks for more more milk which i dont give, or more juice or she has lost her dummy, which i find etc etc. Then she'll do the same thing an hour or so later and this could repeat at various intervals thru the night.

We initially had a gate at her door but this seemed to cause her to scream so we took it off...she still does the same thing but without the screaming......I just cant work out what, if anything, is wrong and why she wont stay asleep or get herself back to sleep thru the night (she is always awake when i leave the room at bedtime and she gets herself to sleep then).

Im not sure if the stay in bed type techniques are relevant because shes not getting out of bed continuously at one time and actually she has no issues getting back into bed as soon as i go up...? Do i put the gate back on and leave her to scream til she eventually goes back to bed...? Or is it just a phase that will work itself out in time..?

Any comments/suggestions greatfully recieved

xx

[Hmmkay]

It is probably is just a phase that she will grow out of... But these phases can feel like forever when you're getting broken sleep

One thing I would do is definitely do first is have loads of dummies scattered around the bed. If she's losing them and using them to get back to sleep, then I would make sure there were a few about (I used to do this with mine ).

One thing I found with all my children at this age, is they sometimes seem to find themselves little routines they like to play out. So when she wakes up she thinks 'hmm, I shout, then mummy comes and I get a cuddle/juice etc'. To try and get her out of it I would try and keep it simple with a 'no, back to sleep' put her back in bed and just keep repeating that until it gets boring to her. It could take a while, and it might not work, but I would give it a try. Plus if you do only have to do it once each time and not continuously, then hopefully even just getting up once will become boring to her and she will go back to sleep without shouting for you first. Just make it REALLY boring!!

[harrygracebaxter]

thanks hmmmkay, she only woke twice last night, both times still had her dummy but will deffo try putting more in bed to just make sure.

she starts kicking off a bit if i dont give her a quick kiss/cuddle but might have to go through that aggro for a while to make it boring and stop her playing out her little scenarios....its a good point you made there, never thought of it like that......she gets a cuddle out of it...if she doesnt get anything she might not bother.

xx

[harrygracebaxter]

wowee i am very pleased this morning....DD slept all night from 8pm til 6.10 and then when i went and told her it too early to get up she went back to sleep til 7.30!!!
I put an extra dummy in her bed and had been saying to her all day to be a good girl and not get out of bed, if she wakes up just to go back to sleep and it worked......well i suppose we'll see tonight if it was just a fluke:-).

xx

[IAteTheCake]

Watching this thread with interest as having similar problems and at the end of my tether. Please keep us updated with progress!

[Hmmkay]

Great news! Sounds like she is getting the hang of it already

That's a good idea too to keep reminding her all day about going back to sleep if she wakes. Like you say, you just have to make sure she doesn't get anything rewarding out of shouting for you. Back in bed, "go to sleep", walk away, repeat, repeat etc. Good luck!

[harrygracebaxter]

I'll definitely keep you updated IAteTheCake......I too am at the end of my tether with it...its just exhausting getting up so many times a night isnt it!! My 3 yr old boy sleeps like a log and always has done so this is a bit of a shock to the system....and proves they all so different even with the same type of parenting:-)
I bought DD a gift today for being so good and have been reminding her that its for staying in bed all night and not shouting mummy and that she should do the same tonight....we'll see....she did do a full sleep about 3 or 4 weeks ago so could just have been a fluke last night but am hoping not!!
will let you know
xx

[Hmmkay]

My middle dc was always the worst sleeper and the other two always slept like logs too. They are so different!

[maidmarian2012]

OP, you could be writing about my DS, of 30 months, he is up and down every night. Nothing wrong with him. Not hungry, to warm/cold or anything like that. Just wants to see me! I have no choice but to go in to him, as we live in flats and people below us are an elderly couple (lovely folk) and I dont want my son hideous screechings to disturb them!

I will be watching this thread with interest :)

[harrygracebaxter]

well mixed reviews today:-). she went to bed no probs at 7.15 then woke at about 11.30, i left her 5 mins to see if she would settle herself but she started to come down the stairs so i went up and just said bedtime and turned her around and she got back in bed with all her stuff and i left, 10mins later she was crying again, i went straight up and said bedtime go to sleep, she said okaay but i want my kisses, i want my cuddle. i said no kisses, no cuddles (very tough to say this to her!)......she went mad for about 10 mins and then she was coming out again so i went in and put her back in bed, she had her arm around my neck as i lifted her and she really clamped on, i guess she was gonna get that cuddle!!
anyway the upshot is she was asleep again by midnight and i didnt hear from her til 7.15....so i suppose at least the disruption was as i was going to bed and not in the small hours when im fast asleep. (although i obviously jinxed myself yesterday cos DS woke up crying at 1.45....:-/) so i still didnt get a big chunk of sleep:-)

Ive spoken to DD about it this morning and told her no present today because she woke up and shouted mummy and didnt go back to sleep on her own.....she looked thoughtful and said 'oh', then she carried on playing with the new toy from yesterday:-))

we'll see what tonight brings:-)

xx

[okthen]

Sounds like you are doing great. Our dd was exactly like this at around the same age- self settled perfectly at bedtime then called out several times a night with demands. She grew out of it and now sleeps well at age 3.

In the mean time I second the suggestions to be boring/stern in the night. Lots of love and cuddles at bedtime, then Stern Mummy/Daddy for rest of night, repeating the same phrases 'sleep time' etc. do not enter into a dialogue!

A gro clock has also been useful, more for early rising but it does also help to bring home the point that it is night time.

You may also get a laugh from this: rapgenius.com/Adam-mansbach-go-the-fuck-to-sleep-lyrics

[okthen]

(Sorry you'll have to cut and paste link)

[Hmmkay]

I agree with okthen, sounds like you are doing a great job. Keep it up and I'm sure it won't be long before she stops calling out

Oh and that YouTube link okthen, I haven't seen that one but I know the one you mean as I LOVE the Samuel L Jackson version! So funny

[harrygracebaxter]

last night was much better, I tried the stern, no cuddles approach...... she woke at 11.30 shouting for milk, i went up and just put her back in bed and said 'sleep time' without any eye contact , she cried for a cuddle, i just left. She went mental!!! but then it only only took about 20 mins and 4 times putting her back in before she decided to give up and that was it til 5.30, she then went back to sleep til 8.15!!! amazing:-).

Thanks for comments/encouragement......will keep going:-)

xxx

[okthen]

Whoop! Sounds like you and she are doing great!