Phrases that make you weep

(143 Posts)
KatieLily12 Thu 02-May-13 10:22:09

So I have a difficult sleeper. I've been on here at various points desperate for advice. However, thought I'd start a giggle lighthearted thread for a change.

What phrases make you want to just face palm whenever someone says them?

My recent one, when I was explaining why a time wouldn't work for us, was 'why not come anyway and they can sleep in the other room while we carry on?'

I think I did well to laugh rather than openly weep.

Any of the 'oh we had a bad night....' brigade when they go on to describe a night I would walk over hot coals for.

The older DD gets the more of this kind i have

Or almost as bad

"It's the uncertainty I hate, most nights she sleeps through fine but then every once in a while we have a bad one and she wakes up"

Yes, uncertainty is a killer isn't it? I much prefer my certain knowledge that she will wake up at least once, sometimes four or five times. Far worse to get a few through the nights thrown in than have the security of her waking up. Every. Single. Night. For 12 months.

McKayz Wed 08-May-13 15:23:57

I got 2 hours sleep last night with 10 month old DD. My sister moaned she only got 7 hours as her 7 week old DS woke up once.

KatieLily12 Wed 08-May-13 15:32:46

Oh I feel that sleeping through pain. Just net my antenatal group and 2 of then said 'oh this weather! Is yours now waking up again?'

Sorry? You seem to think she wasn't already?

I have 3 DCs, none of my kids have slept until they were at least 3 years old. We seem to have the same sleep patterns from birth to pre-school sleeping no more than 2 hours at a stretch. Ever.

I remember the 'milestone' comments the best...

He'll sleep when he's on solids - nope
She'll sleep when she's crawling - nope
She'll sleep when she starts walking - nope
He'll sleep when he starts nursery - nope

By DC3 I'd got to the fixing the person with a steely/zombie stare and saying my kids just don't sleep

I could have hugged a lovely health visitor who said that 'clever babies don't sleep, you don't want one that sits like a pudding and then sleeps all night'

My oldest is now almost 7 he still wakes up a bit during the night and is up at 5am. But at least he just reads Narnia books and doesn't get out of bed <stealth boast, hv was right grin > his sisters on the other hand.

Oooh remembered another gem. Sleep when your baby sleeps. For DS that would have been when travelling above 45 mph in the car, not too safe confused

nextphase Wed 08-May-13 19:59:40

Oh, yes, another gem

"But your so used to being up all night, its soo much worse having to get up when you've been used to them sleeping through" confused why wouldn't I want some nights where I get 5 straight? That would make me more tired????

Nicknamefail Wed 08-May-13 22:46:21

And the three weeks solid my dh said daily 'I'm really tired.' Ok he was insanely busy at work, but he sleeps through the baby waking, which at that point was hourly.....

SettlersofKezan Thu 09-May-13 09:28:05

Nicknamefail - I went through the same thing with my DH. Straying about off subject, I also found that I started to feel a bit stabby in the early days when I was sitting up with DD and he'd roll over and sigh happily, clearly having amazing sleep. I'm still envious of his ability to go straight back to sleep after settling her. I did take a bit of pleasure from the fact that the one and only time she slept for six hours straight, he was away for the night and said he didn't sleep very well!

Back on topic, my in-laws (who I get on very well with) are currently texting me each day asking how she slept. I do feel a bit like pointing out to them that it doesn't really make me feel better about her lack of sleep to recount each morning how many times we were up!

Definitely agree with everyone who mentions people who say they had a bad night when their LO woke up once!

Can also add people who "helpfully" suggest we try her with a dummy. Yes, we tried that in the early days (along with most things!). She pursed her lips and spat it out. But thank you anyway.

I love this thread. It's cheered me up after a bad night (even by our standards) last night. grin

KatieLily12 Thu 09-May-13 10:38:31

I had an O.o moment recently when a mum in our antenatal group remarked on another mum and I's weight. Hers sleeps beautifully in a rigid routine. We both have babies with reflux and have had to cut tons out of our diets and walk hours and hours everyday to get them to sleep.

'Oh but at least you're thin?'

Really?!?!? Holy smokes it was all I could do not to poke her in the eye

Nicknamefail Thu 09-May-13 10:44:53

Katielily I had a similar as if I am not walking dd outside, I put her in a sling and walk up and down the stairs (third floor flat). Two people have given me the thin comment. Maybe should market having a non sleeper as a new diet plan?

Nicknamefail Thu 09-May-13 10:47:09

We could make millions and employ a baby sleep walker so we could do other things while the baby is sleeping like putting the washing on or maybe something more interesting

KatieLily12 Thu 09-May-13 11:35:50

We should rent put babies as exercise machines

KatieLily12 Fri 10-May-13 05:00:03

*out
Flippin' autocorrect

GingerPCatt Fri 10-May-13 07:07:11

When DS was younger and waking loads, I told DH if he told me how tired he was I would punch him. He kept his comments to himself after that.
DS now at nearly is down to normally just waking once a night, so it can get better. wink I just sustain myself with thoughts of revenge when he's older. I plan on randomly walking him with a bullhorn several times a night when he's a teen.

MrsPeggyPatch Fri 10-May-13 09:20:11

Been playing bingo with this thread!

I love it when someone helpfully suggests that it is something I could do better ie routine....as if I've not tried anything or researched anything. It really got to me that I was doing something wrong until I saw another baby, in their home, go down for a nap. I then realised that some babies sleep, some don't!

Another favourite, is that DS is clearly very bright (identified at his great age of 7 months). When I visited a HV in tears about DS sleeping she told me this, and not to worry as he'll earn me lots of money when he is older...

'Put him in the cot to play and he'll fall asleep' is another common one...no, he won't. He'll rampage around the cot for a bit, get bored and then yell. My DM should know better as both DSis and I were poor sleepers but I think she forgets as she suggested this one when DS was poorly and would only sleep being held and the only in 10 minute bursts. It doesn't work at the best of times, and she didn't quite understand why I found it a hilarious suggestion!

EvidenceBasedMum Fri 10-May-13 15:08:33

I've really enjoyed this thread...and been reading bits out to my DP, who can also identify with much of it!

Personally I have tried to take solace in the, "You're so thin" (from trudging around in the rain for hours with refluxy baby who won't sleep and being so nauseated from exhaustion you can't eat) type comments, and use them as quick fire responses. E.g.

Smug-mummy-of-sleeping-baby: "Goodness, do you still have to push them around in a pushchair for 2 hours so they'll have a nap. Mine's been doing 3 hours in the cot from day 2 blah, blah, blah"
Me: Yes, but never mind. At least it keeps me thin" [pointed look at smug-mummy's midriff]

Also, like to throw back equivalent comments about their child's development. E.g.

Smug-mummy-of-sleeping-baby: Goodness, is she STILL not sleeping yet?!
Me: Goodness, is yours not rolling / sitting / crawling etc yet?! (mine has spent so many extra hours awake she is a good couple of months ahead of her peers [wry smile]

Not really being the bigger person...but some small victories...

KatieLily12 Fri 10-May-13 15:18:53

Or comments on the impact rankle me too. E.g 'oh your poor partner, he must really miss a cuddle'

If by cuddle you mean sex you are really on a whole other planet to me right now

NothingsLeft Fri 10-May-13 18:09:47

Ooh I thought of another gem...

'Just try and relax more, he's probably picking up on your stress'

Yeah right.

I wish it was having the same weight-loss effect on me. Unfortunately a steady stream of cake and biscuits is about the only thing keeping me going these days hmm

ILovePonyo Fri 10-May-13 19:35:56

I hate the 'making a rod for your own back' phrase. Someone at work told me I was making a rod for my own back when dd was 4 weeks old because I picked her up every time she cried hmm Unfortunately dd is my pfb and I believed her, so kept doubting myself when picking dd up and feeling guilty that I was spoiling her. This was the same woman who documented doing cc with her 4 month old on Facebook sometime later so everyone could see how hard it was for her hmm (twat)

I have had good and bad phases sleep wise with dd and have been given all sorts of advice but am finally confident enough to do what I feel is right!

blossombath Fri 10-May-13 20:11:27

I have a mostly reformed multiple waking ds who is now an early waking ds, and pps are right, it is much better to get a good chunk of sleep and have the odd good night mixed in with one or two wakings, than certainty of many wakings even though I still felt like crying when he got up at 4.53 this morning.

Thing that got me most at about 6mo onwards was meeting newer mums with babies under four months sleeping through, asking things like 'how do you get them to nap past 45mins' and expecting me to know. (My answer: i keep walking and keep my fingers crossed) if I told the truth about ds I got pitying looks. I learnt to evade questions on sleep and secretly hoped they all got stung in a regression.

Worst thing is I still get feelings of guilt and frustration with myself when ds goes through a bad patch, even though I know it's not parenting. Our cultural belief that parents can and should dictate a baby's sleep is hard to shift.

blossombath Fri 10-May-13 20:15:39

Oh and hate 'best to do cc before they are too old' comments, eg before they are old enough to realise or before they can crawl or whatever. I don't disagree with cc but think it should be a last resort or at least only used for actual poor sleepers not something you do as a default because you think the baby should be in bed by a certain time.

KatieLily12 Fri 10-May-13 20:16:50

Oh god yes. I admitted to a mum I was going to bed at 7 (the only time she consistently slept for a while) and she laughed and said 'blimey the Simpsons aren't even off the telly then are they?'

......

Her baby was ugly

McKayz Fri 10-May-13 20:20:19

I hate feeling like I am doing something wrong. My sons were FF. DS1 slept through from 6 weeks and he's now 6 and he still sleeps like a log. Usually 7pm-7am.

I did the exact same with DS2 who would wake millions of times, starting sleeping from 10pm-5am from 14 months but would not go to sleep earlier than 10 and was always awake before 5:30am. He is 4 now and is still quite often awake when we go to bed about 10. He's also always awake before 6:30. I am planning lots of revenge if he ever turns into a lazy teenager.

DD is 10 months and BF and I have lost count of the times I have been told she doesn't sleep because I BF, even the bloody HV told me that.

She only woke 3 times last night so maybe we are on the edge of a breakthrough!

ILovePonyo Fri 10-May-13 20:26:32

grin at 'her baby was ugly' grin

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