One week old dd not sleeping in crib

(13 Posts)
CityDweller Wed 24-Apr-13 16:36:30

just to say I have a 9 day old and am in exactly the same position. After a night sitting in a chair feeding her continuously last week, I gave up and brought her into bed with me. We then rented the bed nest from NCT as we weren't happy that we could co-sleep safely in our bed (not big enough, DD tends to roll to her side, so I was worried she'd roll into me). Tried the bed nest for first time last night and had some success (although both DH and I still did stints of her sleeping in our arms). I think trick is probably to make sure she's properly asleep before shunting her over into it (although sometimes she just doesn't settle/ sleep deeply between feeds - both at night and during day). And making sure she's warm enough (she kicks off any blankets and doesn't seem to like the swaddle bag thing we have - I might try the swaddle bag thing again and I've also bought a newborn merino wool 'bundler' which is like a gro-bag with arms which we'll try once it's washed and dried).

If I discover a miracle solution I'll let you know! But I figure that she's still very new and getting used to not being inside me. It's all fine now (well, mostly, other than the evil feelings I have towards DH when he's snoring beside me at 3am wink), but it may be a different story once DH goes back to work next week.

KatAndKit Fri 19-Apr-13 22:41:24

I think at that stage I did swaddle before I started a breastfeed if I thought he was likely to pop off to sleep while feeding. My DS had disco arms though and needed to calm down to feed.

One week is tiny. She has been inside you for approximately 40 weeks so 7 days on the outside and it is all new and scary still. I used to be a heavy sleeper but I find it changes when you have a baby next to you, you are naturally more aware of them and you sleep lighter. This is especially true if you are breastfeeding as your body is very tuned into your baby's needs. Most co-sleeping mothers automatically sleep in a safe position curled around their baby. In this position you won't roll onto her. Basically you sleep on your side with your knees bent up. You stick your bottom arm out so that your baby is safely tucked in between your arm above her head and your knees under her body. Your boob is smack bang in front of her mouth which is very handy. I have a bed rail on my side of the bed to prevent rolling off the edge (this is safer than putting the baby in the middle as your partner does not have the same instinctive awareness about not rolling on the baby that you do) Look up safe co sleeping guidelines on the internet. Some nights it is the only way for everyone to get some shut eye.

I think at one week old the shift system is a good one. take it in turns to sleep. I am assuming your husband is on paternity leave, in which case you can also take it in turns to sleep in the day. Brand new babies don't know day from night so you also have to sleep whenever you can.

I would put the crib right next to your side of the bed so that you can get a hand into it to pat her while you are lying in bed and she can see you and hear you next to her. If you can afford it, a NCT bednest is available to hire for 6 months - it gives you the benefits of cosleeping but the baby still has their own sleeping surface which is attached next to your bed.

At the end of the day, if babies were happy to lie by themselves for periods of time rather than stay close to an adult, the human species would not have evolved this far. Babies are, unfortunately, unaware that it is the 21st century and there is no imminent danger of tigers.

Congratulations on your new baby and remember, this stage does not last forever! Do what you can to get the sleep you need whenever possible for now, it won't always be like this and in a couple of months time your baby will start to get some idea of day and night and some semblance of a daily routine may begin to emerge.

mummymccar Fri 19-Apr-13 21:38:58

If she doesn't like swaddling then I second the recently worn t-shirt idea. We did that with my little girl when she was newborn and it ended up being the only thing that would send her to sleep. Worked every time. I didn't bother to remove it (leaving her sleeping on it) and actually found that it helped settle her if she stirred too.

MissLurkalot Fri 19-Apr-13 21:31:48

No, swaddle her afterwards. You can do it really easily without waking baby. Practice makes perfect. You're starting it early, so it should work really well. Don't be scared to try it.. I use giant muslins.. Big square thin sheets, just like muslins. I have always swaddled fairly tightly, so they're nice and secure. Just give it a go.

iheartshoes Fri 19-Apr-13 20:49:15

Thank you for all the replies . I will Defo try the hot water bottle idea. For the swaddling how should that work ? She tends to drop off to sleep while I'm bfeeding her so should I swaddle her before I start feeding in that case?

MissLurkalot Fri 19-Apr-13 20:47:00

Swaddle.. Look on you.tube. There's loads of videos showing how to do it. You can even by swaddling blankets it's poppers. Totally recommend it. All four if mine were swaddled and all self settled early. X

Alibabaandthe40nappies Fri 19-Apr-13 20:41:57

Olivia - wow that is even longer than me! (July 2008 grin)

OP - have you tried swaddling? dH used to hug the basket mattress to warm it, that worked occasionally. You could use a rolled muslin or towel to prop her on her side, both of mine liked that.

One week is very little, things should improve soon, hang in there smile

noblegiraffe Fri 19-Apr-13 20:37:14

Swaddling is a great idea. Only try to transfer her once she is heavily asleep. Wait at least ten minutes, and lower her really gently so as not to trigger her startle reflex.

Ihavetopushthepramalot Fri 19-Apr-13 20:33:05

Congratulations on your new baby! My DD is 7 months now but was like this at first.
The hot water bottle is a good suggestion, also maybe put an item of clothing you or your partner have been wearing in with her. Then remove it if/when she drops off.
We also used an app called relax and sleep. It had a heartbeat sound which used to send her off.
Good luck!

SweepTheHalls Fri 19-Apr-13 20:21:52

Can you make it a side by side crib somehow? She can the fall asleep next to you and then sliiiiiiiide her into the crib when she's in a deep enough sleep.

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 19-Apr-13 20:19:51

Hi there
Have added your title for you which somehow got missed off.
First of all congrats on your DD grin
Lots of other MNers will remind you that she is only teeny tiny and she is just getting used to being in this Big Bad World

One thing I did for my DS2 who didn't like being put down was put a hot water bottle (removing just before we popped him down asleep and making sure it wasn't TOO hot) in the moses basket so he didn't notice the transfer from lovely cuddle with me/DH to cold solitude - you could try that? (usual HQ disclaimers apply btw)

HTH and don't worry, this too will pass and you'll get used to the lack of sleep (haven't had a full night since March 2008..confusedgrin)

milkyman Fri 19-Apr-13 20:19:19

Some newborns like white noise. You could try swaddling, mothercare sell a swaddle pod which might help. But unfortunately newborns do tend not to want to anywhere other than on mum!

iheartshoes Fri 19-Apr-13 19:52:17

We are having a hard time settking our gorgeous dd (one week old today) to sleep. The past couple of nights she has slept quite well but only on me or her dad. Whenever we try to put her down in her crib she cries and cries and works herself up until we pick her up. I love my little girl so much but I can't really deal with the lack of sleep. I'm really uncomfortable with the idea of co sleeping DH and I are both very heavy sleepers and I'm just too scared of squashing her. Only way we have got her to sleep the past couple of nights is one of us sitting up on the sofa with her while the other one sleeps. Has anyone got any advice on how I can get her to sleep in her crib ?

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