no cry sleep support thread anyone?

(73 Posts)
sparklekitty Wed 03-Apr-13 15:22:18

Ok so my DD is 6mo, ebf and co-sleeps atm. She wakes every 2 hours if I'm lucky and I'm shattered!

After reading lots of posts recommending NCSS I finally read it and have plan for getting our little pickle into her own room and sleeping 12 hours longer than she does now.

I've ordered a camping mattress for her room so I can sleep in there to start and waiting for a lovely light show thingy to arrive. Once Mr Royal Mail has delivered these magic items I'm ready to go.

However, as my DD wont do more than 10 mins in her cot atm I am more than aware that things will probably get much harder before they get better.

Anyone fancy a support thread to keep up spirits and share good and not so good experiences?

paperclips Fri 05-Apr-13 21:44:57

Count me in...

I read the No Cry Sleep Solution a few weeks ago and haven't really got round to putting stuff into practice yet.

I've got less than three months till I go back to work, and I need to get DS's sleep sorted before then, as I work shifts and DH will have to put him to bed some of the time.

Elphaba is right. It pisses me off the way the "real world" gets in the way of parenting, because, really, I love that I can feed my baby to sleep, it is the most natural and normal thing in the world. I think it's sad that parenting decisions should be determined more by Work, than what my baby really needs. But that's the modern world.

Anyway. DS is tucked up asleep in his own room at the moment. I'm going to try and go to sleep now before he wakes up.

DrMcDreamysWife Sat 06-Apr-13 05:00:48

Thankyou so much fur sharing your experiences of cc and gradual withdrawal Elphaba It sounds awful and I really feel for you. One of my close mummy friends has done it recently with huge success, her 7mo now sleeps through! But to be honest her ds has never been much of a crier and is less clingy, I really feel it wouldn't work for my dd and I definitely don't feel strong enough to try.

I'm with you sparkle, it feels natural to have dd close to me and to spend our nights together, I wouldn't mind her still needing me for food/comfort a couple of times a night....every hour is exhausting! And I miss my dh! He can't sleep with her in the bed, he snores, wriggles, and likes to cocoon in a duvet! So we can't all bunk up ;)

Nicknamefail Sat 06-Apr-13 09:48:37

I can't look back and see who posted the bit about do giving dc a cuddle hello and depositing him cross onto boobies, but it sounds familiar. Dh just can't settle dd in the middle of the night (although rarely he can at the first 45 mins wake up- but not normally back from work then.....). Last night at 3am dd had a wake up, and dh gave her a lovely cuddle, at which she screamed until she could have a nice suck on me, not even a proper feed. I feel sorry for me, that I always have to do it, but also for him, as it must be heartbreaking when they won't settle for you, or reach out for someone else.

Last night massively crap btw. So crap that the idea of trying Nything other than cuddling and feeding all night frightens me. Especially after reading Elphabas post. At some point, she will grow out of it, but the thought of returning to work with the amount of sleep I get is a little daunting. Hmmmmm.

sparklekitty Sat 06-Apr-13 10:50:57

Nickname, my night was awful too! I was determined not to feed her between 3 hour slots. She just wouldn't be cuddled or anything so I ended up feeding sad

I guess the positive is that it was 2 hourly rather than every hour.

I find things hard coz my DH (who is amazing with her) works shifts so is often not home till late at night. We also need to make sure he has a decent amount of sleep coz his job can be quite dangerous, esp if sleep deprived.

We've not tried having DH settle her yet, although he is going to start when hes on rest days. DD woke up this morning and reached out for him straight away then happily fell asleep holding his hand. I'm sure it wont be that easy when she has decided its boob she wants tho!

Poor little thing seems shattered today! Currently napping on my lap as shes refused the cot for a week or so now sad

SamraLee Sat 06-Apr-13 12:01:25

Sorry you had a rough night. I don't really remember my night, but very tired this morning. My daughter has been having a hard time every morning, before the sun comes up and she wakes up and won't settle at all. She breastfeeds coming on and off the boob, will fall asleep for a few moments then wake up, take the dummy then want boob, etc in an endless circle. She finally slept laying on top of me for a few more hours. Hopefully tonight will be better for everyone.

DrMcDreamysWife Sat 06-Apr-13 12:21:29

Sorry people had bad nights sad

Mine was actually quite good! It was the second night of moving bedtime an hour earlier, and I think that's helping. She went into cot at 7pm which is the earliest EVER!! Woke after 40 minutes ;( but resettled with me leaning into cot rubbing her back and playing lullaby, she pinched my arm for 5 minutes and went back to sleep! I then went to bed coz I was exhausted and dh sat next to cot, he resettled her about half nine and then she screamed for me about 11.30 and took a mahoosive double boob feed....but that was the first feed since 6.30?! Incredible. She then went back in cot at midnight, needed a quick cuddle at 1.30 but then crashed out till almost 4.30 and took a big feed again before sleeping till 7.

God sorry that was a bit rambly....but basically she did two 5 hour gaps between feedings!! Which is amazing?! She also once went 3 hours between wakings which I'm pleased with. She is getting easier to resettle in her cot. I'm trying not to pick her up just play lullaby sheep and do shush pat and it seems to be working which it never did before?!

I'm hoping tonight will be similar. About to take her on an epic walk around the park to give her a good sleep. Once she's finished throwing plum and courgette sticks all over the kitchen!!

sparklekitty Sat 06-Apr-13 16:14:13

Yay McDreamy smile That sounds like a great night and a great idea for the walk too.

I was also on night 2 of earlier bedtime. It might have been a bit too early tho. 1st night in bed by 8, last night I tried earlier coz shed not napped since 3. She's asleep now so hopefully i'll keep her down till 7 so an 8ish bedtime should be ok although I could do with an earlier one I reckon

Fingers crossed for tonight

Elphaba's Thought for the Day:

For those of you worried about going back to work on no sleep, working is actually easier than looking after a baby when you're knackered, probably because your mind is taken up with things other than, 'Christ, I'm tired.' 'If I have to lug this child another step I'm going to collapse.' 'Please, please, please, please miraculously nap for two hours so I can get some sleep too. Shit. You woke up after 20 minutes. Again.'

My short term memory is absolutely destroyed so I've had to get in the habit of writing everything down and I have occasional word and name finding difficulties, but otherwise I'm strangely more functional at work than I was at home on broken sleep.

sparklekitty Sat 06-Apr-13 20:00:32

That's good news about work, except I'm a teacher so I'm swapping looking after my own baby for educating other people's, in quite a challenging school too!

Still, maybe you're right, ill be too busy trying to predict their next moves to think about how bone achingly tired I am! grin

I am currently sat next to her cot where she's been crashed out for the past half hour or so! The longest she's stayed in her cot for for over a week. And we've never tried it at night so even if she wakes up hollering now its another small step in the right direction grin

DrMcDreamysWife Sat 06-Apr-13 20:18:59

sparkle every small step is still a step. Hope she lasts awhile!! My dd is in her cot and has been since 7, she was woken twice already though ;( ....shush patting worked both times though hooray!

Work wise I'm a teacher too and having to teach control a room of 30 teenagers who would rather be anywhere else fills me with dress! I always needed masses of bouncing energy to interest them and keep my cool in sticky situations. Still not back till August so fingers crossed for sleep by then!!

DrMcDreamysWife Sat 06-Apr-13 20:19:48

Dread not dress!! Stupid phone

DrMcDreamysWife Sun 07-Apr-13 10:38:01

Morning all, how were people's nights?

Ours was pretty awful and back to usual 1-2 hour 'just let me graze all night mummy or I'll scream' antics'. She went down at 7, needed a bit of comforting at half past but slept soundly till nine at which point the cat knocked over a vase in the living room which smashed and woke dd up. Dh tried to comfort her and all hell broke loose! I ended up feeding her back to sleep and she must of thought ' oh brilliant boob is on tap again' and the rest if the night is a blur of feeding and not a lot of sleep. No amount of pantley pull off or lullaby in the cot would help and she spent most of the night snuggled in my bed with my nipple in her mouth (grin)

Needless to say when she woke for day at 7 she didn't want feeding (confused)!

Hope others had more success last night!

MrsKoala Sun 07-Apr-13 16:39:48

Hi all, I'm not sure if this is the right thread for me. I've just got the book and am reading it. BUT the problem isn't ds wont sleep - he will. Well. But only on the bed. I cannot get him into the cot at all. If i allow him to co-sleep he sleeps from 8-8 and naps twice a day for about 3-4 hours. But...

I am crippling myself co sleeping - i have bad knees, hips, back and shoulders and sleeping with him in my arms is making me ache all over. I am on prescription codeine to get thru the pain and i can barely climb the stairs or get off the toilet due to pain and unstable joints now.

When i try to get him in the cot (over the past 2 months), he screams and will not sleep at all. i end up awake all night soothing him and returning him but the moment he touches the mattress he wakes.

Any advice gratefully received, or should i start my own thread?

monkeysbignuts Sun 07-Apr-13 16:47:08

I am in the same boat with my 3rd baby and not sure what to do. He's 6 months old and a terrible sleeper, I am exhausted beyond belief! He wakes up every 1 1/2 hours if I am lucky and end's up in our bed every night because I am just too tired to keep trying the cot.
He will go to sleep in the cot on his own which is great but if he wakes up he will only go back to sleep next to me.
He was breast fed until 5 months and I have weaned him onto bottles now. He's just started solids the last few days.
Can I join you, any advice for a zombified mummy please smile

Goodkingwalkingslass Sun 07-Apr-13 17:05:04

Mrskoala your nights sound like mine. Ds sleeps well if co sleeping but all hell breaks loose if we try the cot. Sorry to hear its causing you so much pain though. No ideas I'm afraid, don't know where to begin getting my Ds into the cot!

Hope you find a solution :-)

MrsKoala Sun 07-Apr-13 17:52:29

Well DS will sleep on the mattress on the floor alone happily too (so he doesn't have to be co-sleeping as it were). But i cant rest as he is now crawling and he is very active. Also he will only sleep on his front with his face smushed into a pillow and i am terrified of him suffocating so i get even less sleep.

Now he is so wriggly tho he scratches, kicks and punches me in his sleep and also i think me and DH are keeping him awake. So none of us are getting a good sleep and DS is very ratty.

I have put a mattress next to the cot and will try laying next to him tonight. we are going on holiday next week and i really wanted to be able to cot him and have several a couple of glasses of wine.

sparklekitty Sun 07-Apr-13 18:15:25

Well, I thought we were in for a decent night last night. It began so well, 7-9ish in the cot (with 3 wakes) However, after getting into our bed it was constant wanting boob and rocking to try and avoid it.

She also decided at about 3am that she was wide awake and was going to practice trying to roll and chattering away. I turned my back and ignored her! I guess the positive was that she drifted off on her own.

I'm shattered tho, reckon I got maybe 3 or 4 hours broken sleep! Had the IL's here today too, think we all looked a wreak!

Forgetfulmog Sun 07-Apr-13 18:21:27

Marking place - dd is 6 mo & sleeps on me ATM. We can't put her in her own room unt next month but want to try the ncss when we do. We've bought a Ewan the dream sheep too

SamraLee Sun 07-Apr-13 19:30:43

I had some luck with getting my daughter to sleep in her cot. Very gradual retreat though, so not ideal for your holiday situation, I'm afraid. However if you'd like to try it, I'll give you an idea of how I did it.

First during the day we would pop her in for a few minutes at a time so she could get use to being in the cot. We put the cot right up to the bed. We slept as normal for a few nights, co-sleeping. I also slept with her out of my arms with the cot bars blocking her from rolling off the bed. Then we took down the bars and slept like that for a few nights. Then when I put her down to sleep, put my face right against hers/breastfed whatever I could to get her to sleep while she was actually laying down in the cot. Finally we are at the stage now were I rock her until she is tired (I wait until her eyelids close for five seconds) and then I set her in the cot. I can then lay in my side of the bed, while she lays in her cot until she fals asleep. The next step will be being able to put her down and then leave the bed, then leave the room for her to fall asleep.

All this being said we still have the cot up against the bed so in the middle of the night she can cuddle me if she wants, and she doesn't try to cuddle me every night, but most nights she does at some point want a cuddle. I'm sure we will get to the point where we can leave her in the cot away from the bed, but not there yet.

Hope this helps.

sparklekitty Sun 07-Apr-13 20:26:40

That actually really does help. I think I'm going to try it the way I originally planned but revert to this if original plan fails need to show DH I'm giving if a go first

I kind of feel like we're back to sq one tonight. She's not napped properly at all today, had IL so she was very excited and now it seems she's teething, classic red cheeks, dribbly and cramming her hand in her mouth shrieking. I can see a white dot on her bottom gum so fingers crossed.

Anyway, I really didn't think it was fair on her to try putting her somewhere a she's not entirely happy while she's feeling like this so we're currently snuggled up in bed boob in mouth obviously where I plan on staying for the night. I'm also thinking ill let her comfort feed a bit too.

I guess part of my problem is in a softy with my pfb hmm

Bit of a tip which has worked here a couple of times now (although I have learned <laughs bitterly> not to get too excited about these things): I've noticed a few people here have babies who also wake up after the first sleep cycle i.e. 40 minutes after first falling asleep. Try the 'wake-to-sleep' trick - go in 30 minutes after they first fall asleep and give them a firm jiggle. They'll still be heavily enough asleep to not wake fully, but it will stir them enough to wake up slightly, then fall asleep into the next slightly longer sleep cycle. The theory goes that you can eventually stop doing the jiggle and they'll do it of their own accord. I've done the jiggle a couple of times now and DS has gone from 7 until after 9 without waking fully and needing resettling.

Might go try another jiggle in about 10 minutes to see if I can make lightening strike twice grin

MrsKoala Sun 07-Apr-13 21:00:34

Cheers Samra - The problem we have is our house is shite tiny and the cot does not fit in our room and we don't have space next to the bed for anything. So what i am doing is putting him in the cot to play in the day - which he seems fine with. Then at night putting a mattress next to the cot and getting him to sleep on that while i'm in the single bed next to it (we have a day bed type thing with 2 single mattresses. one under the other). Then next step is to take the side off the cot and have him sleep in it while i sleep on the floor mattress next to it. Then eventually i sleep on the day bed while he's in the cot (with the side back on). Then, back into the nice big bed with DH! well that's the plan anyway. It'll have to be after the hols now tho.

W've kind of caused this as not being able to cot him in the bedroom, and travelling so much over the last 6months, has meant it was just easier to co-sleep.

MrsKoala Sun 07-Apr-13 21:04:50

Yes, i'm the same Sparkle. DS is teething too, so i always relent as well. He already got 2 bottom ones at 5mo and now the tops are coming thru. he has had a miserable day, squealing, not napping, drooling and fist chewing - so he has boobed all day and is sleeping in the bed with me tonight, i will comfort feed all night if he wants it too. smile soft mummy!

sparklekitty Sun 07-Apr-13 21:45:24

That's reassuring to know koala. Our DD has been 'teething' as in everything moving around and causing her pain, from about 10 weeks and still no damn tooth!

I'm am def going to try that wake to sleep idea, esp for napping as this one is terrible for doing 40/45 mins then wide awake. Great idea, thanks grin

Goodkingwalkingslass Sun 07-Apr-13 22:24:09

Ha ha I am the same as some of you lot tonight, Ds has cold and horrible cough so there will be no trying the cot for us till he's better. We have cot pushed right up to the bed, will take side off tomorrow and try getting him in there like that. The irony is that until he was 4mo he slept in a Bednest attached to the bed but outgrew that so came into the bed. Should have just switched him to a 3-sided cot then!

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