Jo Frost Controlled Timed Crying for 9mo baby

(137 Posts)
DrGarnettsWinterMixture Wed 13-Mar-13 20:01:17

Has anyone used Jo Frost's method of controlled crying, or anything similar please? Link here

We're desperate, and need very clear guidelines to follow-I nearly had a car accident this morning after ages spent getting him to sleep yesterday, then multiple wakings in the night (including screaming for more than 45 minutes-he was clean, dry, warm, not hungry or thirsty and had had some calpol, no signs of teething other than being very upset). He starts the evenings in his cot and ends up in our bed when we go up about ten.

He took an hour to go to sleep tonight, with hysterical screaming when he was put in his cot, and has woken up three times already. He isn't ill, I'm really sure of this, he just wants us to be there while he sleeps.

I thought he would naturally work towards more time in cot, less in our bed and learn to settle himself, but it just seems to be getting worse, and I was so tired this morning I really frightened myself on the motorway-I think I was almost asleep while I was driving and got way closer to someone than I should, then they had to slam on their brakes.

Please help sad

DrGarnettsEasterMixture Wed 03-Apr-13 09:48:26

Sorry you had a tough night Babybee, did things get better?

We had a weird night last night-went to sleep very quickly at 6, woke at 10, went back to sleep in under 2 minutes after a nappy change (has horrid nappy rash, so we're trying to keep him as dry as possible) then woke at just after 1, and shouted for nearly a hour and a quarter in total-we went through the timed crying and he just seemed to get more and more upset, so changed his nappy again, gave him some calpol and he dropped off eventually. Def the worst night we've had since we started this, but we got there in the end-hope this isn't going to be a new thing...

Babybeesmama Wed 03-Apr-13 10:15:30

I probably cocked it up sad after another 16 mins I found that if I just left my hand on him he went to sleep, I felt terrible that he just wants the reassurance that I'm there. I ended up sleeping on a mattress in nursery, he woke again at 12,3,5 tho. Just putting my hand on him seemed to work but I'm doubtful it will be a long term solution. But its so hard sad. DH is fed up of me changing my mind and wants us to stick to just one method of sleep training. I feel a bit naff about it all. Do you all think I should stick with CC and not stay in nursery? X

DrGarnettsEasterMixture Thu 04-Apr-13 10:07:08

I don't think you've cocked it up at all! It's a completely different way of going to sleep that we're trying to teach them, and it's likely to take a bit of time for them (and us!) to get the hang of it. With this method of CC the key thing seems to be absolute consistency, as this seems to work fastest, which I think is probably easier on parents and baby-ie this is the rule (you stay in your cot and go to sleep by yourself) and no deviation from that. It seems to get results in 2-3 nights for most of us. It seems that your using more of a gradual retreat approach, which is gentler (an d quieter) but can take longer, and has the potential to be a bit confusing for baby, as the rules change eg hand on tummy till they go to sleep, then lying next to them, then sitting further away etc till you're out of the room.

How do you feel? There's no reason why you should do CC if you're not happy with it, and lots of people have had great success with gradual retreat, but it will take longer to be effective. Could you ask DH for his input? Sleep training is much easier if you're both on the same page! x

DrGarnettsEasterMixture Thu 04-Apr-13 10:08:15

you're, not your! blush

lotsofcheese Thu 04-Apr-13 10:10:47

I felt 9 months was too young for cc. Tried pick-up-put-down from the Baby Whisperer & it worked a treat, much kinder for baby & less stress for me!

Grantsunflower21 Thu 04-Apr-13 18:10:21

Hello all,

Have just read all this conversation with great interest.

My lo is just 9 months and thinking of giving the jo frost method a shot.

We stopped night feeding a week ago so may wait another week to see if the multiple night wakings stop themselves.

One question, if one lot of timings works and they fall asleep and say in 10/15/20 mins later they wake do you start all over again?



Babybeesmama Thu 04-Apr-13 19:08:10

Thanks drgarnett, I just felt terribly guilty that all he wanted was my hand on him & the comfort from having me close. DH has got 2 weeks of work at end of April so might go with gradual retreat until then, if it doesn't improve will do CC whilst he's off & can help. I'm sick to death of the multiple wakings from midnight - its exhausting (as I'm sure you all know!) . Going to have a glass of wine, do some reading and mull it all over! Thanks again x

Babybeesmama Tue 09-Apr-13 19:32:37

Well, had a change of heart & we are on night 2 of CC! Last night he got to 16 min check before he settled, tonight was only 2 mins! I still co slept for part of last night but attempting not to tonight (I just don't sleep properly for fear of squashing him!). So, any tips and hints welcome! X

DrGarnettsEasterMixture Wed 10-Apr-13 19:46:49

Wow, that's brilliant, Babybee! Has he gone to sleep yet tonight?

How is everyone else doing? I've been watching Bedtime Live recently and really feeling for those people whose children are big enough to get out of bed and come and argue...

Grantsunflower21 Thu 11-Apr-13 19:48:46

It's night 6 tonight...last night was awful (regression?!) so hoping for a better night tonight!

MamaBear17 Tue 16-Apr-13 20:57:31

I have just found this thread after posting on another thread in parenting. For those of you who are finding it tough, may I share my experience? When my dd was 8 months old she became a nightmare to settle at night. I did something very similar to Jo's method, but the only difference was I only left her to cry for one minute before returning. I never doubled the time and left her longer. I would go in, lay her down, shhhh and rub her tummy and then leave. I started timing my minute once I had left and closed the door. I found hearing her cry just too difficult to cope with to double the time and leave her longer. My DD had colic as a tiny baby and I barely got through it. Hearing her cry, even in temper, sent me into a panic. One minute was manageable. The good news is, it still worked for us. The first night took 2 hours, by the end of the week we were down to five minutes. Within ten days there was no crying at all. DD now (at 20 months) tells me to put her in to bed once she has finished her milk, says 'night night, love you mummy' and turns over and goes to sleep.

At 8 months my dd was still waking in the night at 2ish and 4ish. I will be honest and say I did not use controlled crying for this. She was a very skinny baby so I continued to give her milk when she woke in the night so that I knew she was returning to bed full and satisfied. For some reason, she didn't really cry when we put her back to bed in the middle of the night. There were a couple of nights where she did but I returned to my 'minute method' after I had fed her. She very quickly dropped the 4am wake up and was going 7-2, 2-6. I reduced the amount of milk I gave her at 2am to 3oz. At 18 months she dropped the 2am feed and finally slept through. It was a long road to sleeping through, but too be honest, 7-2, 2-6 was manageable, I just went to bed a little earlier. HTH

CitygirlbytheC Tue 19-May-15 21:09:03

Sorry to resurrect a zombie thread but this method seems interesting - can I ask (if anyone's still around!) when your baby woke in the night did you go straight in, settle then come out and start the 2 mins or dis you wait 2 mins from as soon as they started crying?

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