Jo Frost Controlled Timed Crying for 9mo baby

(136 Posts)
DrGarnettsWinterMixture Wed 13-Mar-13 20:01:17

Has anyone used Jo Frost's method of controlled crying, or anything similar please? Link here

We're desperate, and need very clear guidelines to follow-I nearly had a car accident this morning after ages spent getting him to sleep yesterday, then multiple wakings in the night (including screaming for more than 45 minutes-he was clean, dry, warm, not hungry or thirsty and had had some calpol, no signs of teething other than being very upset). He starts the evenings in his cot and ends up in our bed when we go up about ten.

He took an hour to go to sleep tonight, with hysterical screaming when he was put in his cot, and has woken up three times already. He isn't ill, I'm really sure of this, he just wants us to be there while he sleeps.

I thought he would naturally work towards more time in cot, less in our bed and learn to settle himself, but it just seems to be getting worse, and I was so tired this morning I really frightened myself on the motorway-I think I was almost asleep while I was driving and got way closer to someone than I should, then they had to slam on their brakes.

Please help sad

Alligatorpie Sun 24-Mar-13 05:36:29

We failed miserably. She stayed in her playpen for about a miute before shrieking and going hysterical. I was worried she would wake up dd1, so I picked her up and had another sleepless night.

I think we will do naps in the playpen to get her more used to it. We have been awya for the past 2 weeks ( different hotels and a cruise ship) so maybe she needs a bit more familar surrondings before we try again.

So glad it is working for so many people. Dd1 didnt sleep through the night until she was 4. Dd2 is not getting that option.

Sleepyfergus Sun 24-Mar-13 07:58:25

AlligatorPie - don't dispair. It's defo worth another go. Is there a way you can temporarily rearrange sleeping arrangements for a week or so until she gets used to it? I'm in dd1s room at the mo and she's in our bed with DH. Once dd2 gets the hang of this we'll move back! Or could you arrange for your older one to stay at grandparents for a couple of nights?

The first night I did this, dd2 went mental! She cried for almost an hour before falling asleep, but that was the worst if it over. Since then, she is less angry and will put herself to sleep a lot quicker. That first time, I knew she was fed, warm, clean bum and sleepy, so her cries were just her being mightily pissed off to the change in her routine.

Good luck though, it is hard esp when their cries could wake the dead!

DrGarnettsEasterMixture Sun 24-Mar-13 07:59:07

Wow, that's great crazycrush! I'm still dreaming of a 6-6 sleeping baby ;) When I go in to check on DS, I don't pick him up-I lie him down in the cot again and put my hand on his back or tummy, and that seems to calm him down very quickly and then I leave as soon as he is calmed and start the timer again.

Sorry it didn't work for you alligatorpie-DS is our first, I don't have any helpful suggestions on how to manage CC with other DC-anyone else? Getting naps sorted sounds like a good idea though.

Night 4 - Asleep before 4 minute check

Woke at 9, asleep before 4 minute check

Woke at 12, asleep before 2 minute check

Woke at 4, asleep before 4 minute check

Got up at 6.15

So, we're still on 3 night wakings-any ideas on how this can be reduced, or do we just have to wait, do you think? I'm really pleased with how quickly he's settling when he does wake though! Also feeling much more rested myself.

Sleepyfergus Sun 24-Mar-13 08:30:51

That was a good night DrG. We're the same re awakings. Would love to get her all tbe way through, but she still needs (I think anyway!) a feed before midnight. But in the short term I can live with a couple of wake ups as she seems to be settling quickly. Hopefully soon I'll not have to through to her if she learns to self settle properly!

Our last night
Put down 7.15pm. Asleep before 2 min check. Slept for 2hrs 15mins

Awake 11pm. Gave feed. Put down 10.40pm. Asleep before 2 min check. Slept for almost 2.5hrs

Awake 1am, asleep before 2 min check. Slept for almost 6 hours, awake 6.45am.

Sleepyfergus Sun 24-Mar-13 08:35:32

CrazyCrush - yes, well done on your 6-6, thats amazinf! Re what I do when I go in....dd2 is either on her knees or on all fours, sometimes standing. The odd time she has been lying down. I tend to pick up, give her a wee cuddle, ssh pat her back and then lay her down. 99% of the time she the tries to sit straight back up. I can't imagine getting to the stage of just giving her a pat as she lies there! Maybe that will come <crosses fingers>

I think as long as you're consistent it doesn't matter too much what you do, but now you have me thinking about picking her up and confusing her. Hmmm, will ponder that one!

Loislane78 Sun 24-Mar-13 08:42:52

Mornin' all smile

Well after a poor sleep night before last (teething and no daytime napping due to darn plumbers in the house) last night was pretty good;

18.30 bedtime, asleep instantly
11.30 feed, asleep instantly
3 feed, asleep instantly
5.45 wake up (need a black out blind)
Now having a morning nap smile

So no other wake ups which was good. Mum here this weekend and serious teething going on so still chickening out of nighttime and dummy weaning but happy with 2 wake ups if just for feeds.

Good progress DrG even with wake ups. If going back to sleep quickly and in cot all night that's good progress!

nectarini1983 Sun 24-Mar-13 08:49:36

Night 12...better. gave calpol, teething gel and olbas oil in the room and was asleep by 7.30 with no checks needed. Slept til 3.33 (noticed the clock!) When he had a little grizzle. Prob could have left him but gave him some more calpol and a stroke, didnt have to do any checks, and slept til 6.45.

Still v snotty bless him.

I don't pick him up when I do my checks. The first 2 nights when he did keep standing up, id just lay him straight back down again then do my shhhh pat and walk out. He just stays laying down now from when I first lay him in his cot.

Loislane78 Sun 24-Mar-13 11:08:23

I reckon you've got this cracked nectarini, teething/sickness aside smile

I also don't pick up for re-settles/checks.

Sleepyfergus Mon 25-Mar-13 06:27:28

Night 6 was better here too:-

7.20pm bedtime, asleep with no checks.
1.30am (after feed), asleep instantly.
Woke up 6.20am

She was incredibly tired though, had had a busy Sunday. Today is her first day of full nursery..... I feel a bithmm. I know she'll be fine, but.......hmm

crazycrush - I picked up for comfort as firstly I'm short, so bending over the cot and doing a shh pat type thing wouldn't work, and secondly, the shh pat thing didn't work for my baby, just made him angrier! As long as you are consistant with the pick-ups, it's fine. I would always put him straight back down as soon as he was calm.

It really is dependant on the baby. I couldn't sit where baby could see me as he would cry more. If I was outside the room, he cried less and fell asleep quicker.

AlligatorPie - have you tried just putting her in the playpen while she's awake? Put some toys in there so she can play while you 'tidy' the room. Sounds like she needs to get used to the idea that the playpen is a nice place to be first, before she sleeps there.

Loislane78 Mon 25-Mar-13 20:47:45

That's great fergus! Mine's not at nursery yet (will be in a couple of months) but I was at work for a day today - it's the longest I've ever left her and she was totally fine. I left loads of milk and drinking receptacles but she refused all of them!! She ate quite a lot and drank water and just had a massive feed when I came home, she's only 7 mos. Wasn't upset or anything. Just made me think they're really quite adaptable and it's harder on the mummies.

Hope nursery goes well smile

nectarini1983 Wed 27-Mar-13 19:28:44

Hows everyone getting on? The last few nights been fine this end.......

Loislane78 Thu 28-Mar-13 08:04:47

Mixed bag here due to teething - night before last we had:

6.45 asleep
11pm feed
Nothing until 5am so that's v good for us - probably best night for a few months! Other nights we've had same bedtime, 11pm feed, 3am feed and up at 6.30 which is also manageable if no other wake ups.

Last night was more troublesome with frequent wakings but asleep immediately after quick resettle. Actually think she was cold. New problem with 5.30 wake ups so really need to sort a black out blind thing.

Getting there I think smile

DrGarnettsEasterMixture Thu 28-Mar-13 08:54:32

Morning, sorry I went a bit quiet!

We've had no major issues-last night was brilliant, only one waking, and I just shushed him back to sleep smile Weird thing-I am KNACKERED. Really shattered, and I don't know why-this is the most sleep I've had for over a year, and I feel like I could sleep for hours still! Any ideas? I'm wondering if the sleep deprivation is kind of catching up with me now I'm on holiday, hope it doesn't last too long if that's the case...

DrGarnettsEasterMixture Thu 28-Mar-13 08:56:40

Oh, and when he was settling to sleep last night and shouting for a couple of minutes, I went in and he was standing up and holding his cot bars-as soon as he saw me, he lay himself down and put his dummy in his mouth so I just stroked his back for a minute then left, so sweet!

nectarini1983 Thu 28-Mar-13 12:24:53

Bless!! Preggers again perhaps he he?!?!?!

DrGarnettsEasterMixture Thu 28-Mar-13 18:30:40

OH GOD NO shock

No danger of that thanks nectarini, although you did make me shudder just thinking about it...

Babybeesmama Tue 02-Apr-13 07:46:05

Hello - hope you don't mind I have a few questions! Thinking of trying this as 6 month old DS wakes so frequently at night sad we are so tired. He does need feeds still at 11 & sometimes at 3 but he wakes loads inbetween these feeds for no particular reason other than a cuddle & wanting to come in our bed (which I'm ready to stop). We have 3 yr old DD so I'm a bit worried about the crying waking her up but we are so knackered we need to get on with it. Any tips welcome grin x

Babybeesmama Tue 02-Apr-13 07:47:03

So tired I forgot my questions!!

Do you pick up baby when you do your checks?

Do you leave room straight away?

Has it helped those of you with frequent night wakers?

grin X

DrGarnettsEasterMixture Tue 02-Apr-13 09:56:11

Hi Babybee! I don't pick DS up when I do my check-if he is standing/kneeling, I help him lie down (he often does this himself when he sees me!), stroke his back gently for a few seconds till he is calm, then put his blanket back on and then leave the room immediately.

We are two or three weeks in (have lost track!) and this has taken DS from waking at least once an hour, sometimes more, to waking twice at night-normally once about 10 and once about 2 or 3, which I'm really happy with.

We have also gone from DS sleeping (HA!) with us from about 10pm to him staying in his cot all night, so we're all getting much more, and much better quality sleep. It was amazing how quickly he got the hang of his cot, and was asleep last night by 18.02, without any crying or upset-just went straight into his cot, lay down, had a kiss on the cheek and then I left him and came downstairs. I can't believe how much our evenings have changed! <evangelical>

nectarini1983 Tue 02-Apr-13 20:37:26

Hi babybeesmama. I atarted with my 1 year old son about 3 weeks ago as he was wakinh up every hour/ in our bed/ kicking and tossing about/ general nught terror. By night 3 he slept through the night for the first time ever! ! He now sleeps thru most nights. I out him down in his cot, tell.him ita time for sleep, stroke him and say shhhh and walk out. He doesn't cry at that any more. I do the same if he stirs in the night

I do it pretty much as described by jo frost apart from I did 2, 4, 8, 12 and 16 min checks and then repeated 16 min checks but only had to do that once on the first night.

This has literally changed my family's life and so quickly! My dd is 3 and totally unaffected by it. She didn't even wake up when he was crying. It takes affect so quickly.

In answer to your qs

1. No dont pick up, just stroke and say sshhh, no eye contact. ( lay down afain if needed!)

2. Yes walk straight out.

3. Hell yes its made a difference!!!

Babybeesmama Tue 02-Apr-13 21:20:51

Thanks for the replies! I shall give it a try! Only difficulty I have is whether he's waking for milk or not (he just has after a bottle at 630!) he isn't the kind of baby who has 1oz to go back to sleep, he has it all or nothing at all so I'm thinking if he refuses bottle he's not hungry so do CC. Fingers crossed. Great that its worked for you grin xx

Babybeesmama Tue 02-Apr-13 21:48:19

On 16 min check & he's still wailing sad this is hard. He's absolutely knackered & Everytime I pick him up he falls asleep! Its so hard! X

Sleepyfergus Wed 03-Apr-13 07:45:51

Hi BabyBee, We've also been doing this now for about 2+ weeks and it has been amazing. The first night was by far the worst, dd2 (9mths) was very cross and I went through 2,4,8,16 minute checks and she was about crying for about 20mins before the 32min check was due when she fell asleep. Her cries had 'calmed' down a bit by that stage and she must have been exhausted! The following nights were a lot better!

Since then she usually is in bed by 7pm although the clocks going forward have screwed her up a bit and its been 7.30-8pm - I'm slowly trying to claw it back to 7pm again. The odd night I have to do 2, maybe 4 min checks, but the crying is a tired cry as opposed to 'I hate you, why have you put me in here!

Now she wakes twice thru the night, about 10.30 and either 1pm or 3pm. Both times I give her a bf. My next goal is to drop one of them, but were happy with how it is at the moment. After a bf she goes straight back down, no checks required.

When I do my checks, I actually pick her up, give her a quick cuddle, sssh pat and kiss before putting back down and saying "night night, it's sleepy time now." I avoid eye contact where possible and leave the room immediately.

Good luck, it really has changed our lives and our dd1 sleeps through it all which was a worry of mine when we started it.

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