Jo Frost Controlled Timed Crying for 9mo baby

(136 Posts)
DrGarnettsWinterMixture Wed 13-Mar-13 20:01:17

Has anyone used Jo Frost's method of controlled crying, or anything similar please? Link here www.jofrost.com/controlled-timed-crying-technique-ctct/

We're desperate, and need very clear guidelines to follow-I nearly had a car accident this morning after ages spent getting him to sleep yesterday, then multiple wakings in the night (including screaming for more than 45 minutes-he was clean, dry, warm, not hungry or thirsty and had had some calpol, no signs of teething other than being very upset). He starts the evenings in his cot and ends up in our bed when we go up about ten.

He took an hour to go to sleep tonight, with hysterical screaming when he was put in his cot, and has woken up three times already. He isn't ill, I'm really sure of this, he just wants us to be there while he sleeps.

I thought he would naturally work towards more time in cot, less in our bed and learn to settle himself, but it just seems to be getting worse, and I was so tired this morning I really frightened myself on the motorway-I think I was almost asleep while I was driving and got way closer to someone than I should, then they had to slam on their brakes.

Please help sad

Sleepyfergus Thu 21-Mar-13 17:05:32

DrGarnett - I think that's a good start! It's so hard for everyone, and a big upheaval for the babies who have got used to snuggling up with us but this does seem to work and we'll all be reaping the dividends in no time.

LoisLane - great too re the initial sleep!

Nectarini - wonderful stuff! Good luck going back to work. I'm returning the week after next, trying not to think about it too much tbh!

Last night (night 3)
Put down at 6.50pm. Did 2,4 min check and she was asleep before 8 min check. Still quite angry at being put down and sshed, but less so every night but I think I'll have to do the 2, 4 min check for a while. But that I can live with. She slept 5 hours and then up at midnight for a feed. Took from both sides, and again, a good proper 'dream feed' like feed.
Popped her down at 12.20am and had to do 2,4 and 8 min check and then she slept through til 5.30am. I think I might have rushed her towards the end of her feed so she was quite cross and held out til just after 8 min check.

Without wishing to jinx thus, I'm amazed at the results so far. I'm so glad I found this thread and the link to Jo Frost. We were going to try some form of sleep training but who knows if something else would have been as good.

DrGarnettsWinterMixture Thu 21-Mar-13 18:42:18

That sounds great, Sleepyfergus! Well done grin

freelancegirl-how old is your DS? I'm only on night 2, but if he is the right sort of age, I'd recommend going for it-just bite the bullet! We were determined to put it off till next week due to holiday, and last night was so awful we got started, and we've had a much easier night 2 already.

So-took him up not long after 6, put him in his cot, sang some songs and put his music mobile on for a few minutes till he was nice and calm, then left the room. Did 2 minutes, then 4, then 6, and he was asleep before the 8 minute check. Much quieter tonight than yesterday, still some shouting and screaming, but there were long breaks between the shouting (there were NO breaks yesterday!) and he was much quicker to calm-I literally went in and put my hand on his back and helped him lie down if he was sitting up. All round, much quicker and far less stressful than yesterday, which is great.

DH is on duty for whenever he wakes next-am hoping for 10.00, but anything later than that would be amazing! We'll do timed crying again and see how we go. Wish us luck!

Loislane78 Thu 21-Mar-13 19:16:47

This is great; we're all making some progress smile

What I'm finding most helpful is feeling like I'm doing something constructive that's hopefully making a difference. There's nothing worse than being sleep deprived, dreading the night ahead and feeling totally helpless.

Thanks for the thread and telling me what do to smile

justabigdisco Thu 21-Mar-13 19:23:38

She starts by saying 'this is not the Ferber technique' and then goes on to describe the Ferber technique, passing it off as her own!
Don't worry OP, we did it at 7 mo as I was going back to work. 2 bad nights, 2 ok ones and now she sleeps 12 hours and is not psychologically traumatised! Don't listen to anyone who says it is bad because it bloody works like MAGIC!

DrGarnettsEasterMixture Thu 21-Mar-13 19:41:31

Am desperate for this to go well, DH is out tomorrow night so I'd really like to stay positive and have a nice and restful evening tomorrow!

Thanks justabigdisco, glad it worked for you (thought Ferber was no touching to comfort? but haven't read much on this, so probably wrong!) A baby sleeping for 12 hours sounds like bliss, I'd consider 6 a MASSIVE achievement at the moment...

Lois, this is the most popular thread I've ever had on MN, think there's a lot of us out there who need direction-that helpless feeling is awful, so I'm really glad the thread is helping other people too smile

nectarini1983 Thu 21-Mar-13 19:57:06

Lois....sounds like it's going to plan. I found doing it actually less stressful than the stressing about how to deal with him and the no sleeping!

DrG...this thread has been a godsend to me. It definitely works though. I could kiss Jo Frost!!

Just having a glass of wine while kids in bed asleep....like a proper grown up!

Well done every one! So many of us in the same sleep deprived boat now seeing light at the end of the tunnel!

whenwilltherebegoodnews Thu 21-Mar-13 21:16:34

I found doing it actually less stressful than the stressing about how to deal with him and the no sleeping!

This is EXACTLY how I feel. I was really down thinking I would forever be sleep deprived. Now I have a plan I am much calmer and coping better during the day.

Good luck tonight everyone.

Wow - so much progress here!! All these babies sleeping, what are you lot going to do with your evenings now...?

Don't worry if you don't follow the 'rules' exactly - just be consistent when adapting them. Don't do CC for a couple of nights, then chicken out on the third night. Always make sure the time you leave them gets gradually longer and longer. It's up to you (and your baby's personality) whether you comfort with a 'shh pat', a cuddle, a song, a dummy, a lullaby machine etc. Do what works for your baby.

Couldn't agree more about the whole cold turkey thing. When LO was 5 months (just before we started CC) I went cold turkey on rocking him to sleep. I was happy to hold and sing to him while he dropped off, but my back was not enjoying 2 hours of constant rocking!

DrGarnettsEasterMixture Thu 21-Mar-13 22:01:24

And....he's woken up, DH is on the stopwatch, up to 6 minutes now between checks, I hope he goes to sleep soon poor thing, he is so tired sad and I can't go to bed until he is fast asleep!

justabigdisco Thu 21-Mar-13 22:40:40

Ah right DrG, I misread it. Fair enough. Although, I think picking up/putting down would have made her cry harder to be honest!

DrGarnettsEasterMixture Fri 22-Mar-13 08:21:45

Morning all <yawns, hands round coffee>

So...babyG stayed in his cot ALL NIGHT for the first time ever! He woke up at 10, 12.30 and 2.30, and took about 20 minutes of timed crying to settle each time, but we got there, and he didn't wake up until almost 6.50. So, still having the night wakings but quite pleased with night 2, especially as we didn't bring him into bed with us at all.

How did everyone else get on?

Good going DrGarnett - babyG will be starting to 'get the picture' now. Keep going, you're doing well!!

Sleepyfergus Fri 22-Mar-13 15:49:40

That's great DrGarnett! Small steps eh! All night in the cot is fab, I totally agree. I can cope with the night wakes in the short term too

Here's our last night:-
Put down 6.50pm. Did 4(forgot to check stopwatch!) and another 4 min check. Asleep before 8 min check. Slept for approx 4 hours. Up for a feed at 11pm. Back down 11.20pm. Asleep before 2 min check. Slept for 2hrs 45mins before waking with a mega pooey/ wet nappy and baby gro. Changed and gave her a little feed as she was cold from getting changed and a bit distressed. Put down 2.30am. Did 2,4,min check. Asleep before 8 min check. Slept until 5.30am (and I brought her in with me for a bit as it was just too early!)

So aside from the nappy change, I'm more than happy. Reckon she's teething her top two front teeth at the mo as she is grumpy and drooling like a tap, and the pooey nappies have been unbelievable. She's actually a wee trooper dealing with this sleep training on top it all, bless her!

Here's to our continuing cot sleepers tonight!

Babybeesmama Fri 22-Mar-13 16:05:06

I also have a very wakeful 6 month old - every 2 hours mostly confused. I'm so tired. Tried a bit of gradual retreat last night but may have to use CC. X

nectarini1983 Fri 22-Mar-13 18:14:20

Well done sleepy and DrG....sounds like going in the right direction!

Night 9 (I think, lost count now!). Asleep at 7 , stirred and checked on at 9 with in ssshhh pat and then slept til 6!

Me and kids up and ready to leave at 6.40....an hour early! So had time for a leisurely cuppa and brek which I hadn't expected! Work was......work but at least I didn't fall asleep at my desk ha!

DrGarnettsEasterMixture Fri 22-Mar-13 18:26:31

First day back is the worst, nectarini, glad you had a relaxed start to your day!

Welcome Babybeesmama-constant waking is so draining, isn't it? We seem to be making progress, I think this method is considered ok for babies of 6 months and over, but you might want to just double check the link at the beginning if you're thinking about giving it a try!

Night 3-babyG had his 2 and 4 minute checks, was asleep before the 6 minute one. DH has gone out, so I am hoping for a good few hours of properly sleeping baby!

Sleepyfergus Fri 22-Mar-13 18:30:16

Maybe have a glass of vino DrG!!! I think I will tonight.....been a long time since I dared without an interruption!!

Yes - CC is not reccomended under 6 months. I did do it at 5 months - but it was an extreme situation (PND and psychosis), so something needed to be done.

Alligatorpie Sat 23-Mar-13 06:59:53

I am going to try this tonight. Dd is 9 months and while cosleeping has worked for us in the past, she is now very active and I cannot sleep in bed with her any more. We have a tiled floor in the bedroom and if she fell out of bed, she could really hurt herself.
We didnt use the crib for dd1, so havent bought one for dd2. I do have a travel cot and she will be going in their for a bit, until we get a crib. But she hates it, and screams when she goes in it. It is going to be a long night.

DrGarnettsEasterMixture Sat 23-Mar-13 08:17:50

How did you get on, Alligatorpie?

Night 3-went to sleep within 15 minutes of going into cot, slept 18.15-21.00

Woke at 9, took 6 minutes timed crying to go back to sleep

Woke at 12, 6 minutes timed crying

Woke at 4, 6 minutes timed crying

Got up at 6.30

So still on 3 night wakings, but settling much faster-I'm out tonight, so will see how he is for DH!

Sleepyfergus Sat 23-Mar-13 09:06:31

Sounding good DrG! Good luck to your DH for tonight, have a nice night out!

Welcome Aligatorpie, how did it go?

So night 5 for us went like this:-
Put down 7pm. Did 2,4 min check. Slept for approx 2 hours.

Put down 9pm. Asleep before 2 min check. Slept for 1.5hrs

Gave feed and changed nappy. Put down 23.15pm. Asleep before 2 min check. Slept for approx 4hrs

Put down 3.10am. Did 2,4,min check. Asleep before 8 min check.Slept for 3hrs, then slept an hour with me (from 6am-ish)

More wakings than I'd hoped/ expected, but she's choked with the cold/teething so poor wee lamb is a bit miserable.

nectarini1983 Sat 23-Mar-13 17:53:37

Welcome aligator and babybeesmama....join the club!

Night 11....a bit of a set back :-( asleep in cot by himself at 7.10-1am then took til 8 min check to get back to sleep. Awake again at 4, asleep before 12 min check but gave calpol as sure he's either got a stinking cold or teeth have started up again as his nose is just dripping. He then slept til 7.30am.

He is still double snotty today so will give calpol and bongela before bed tonight to see of it helps.

I can't complain though, he's been super!

DrGarnettsEasterMixture Sat 23-Mar-13 18:31:32

Poor babynactarini sad Have you tried wetting a towel through with cold water, putting a few drops of Olbas oil on it then sticking it on the radiator? Seems to help them breathe when they're all snotty (and I always have olbas and a towel handy-never seem to be able to find those Karvol plug in things when I need them!)

Hope all babies have a good night tonight, babyG went down very quickly tonight, lay himself down as soon as he was put in the cot, and was asleep before the 4 minute check, so I can go out and not feel guilty!

DrGarnettsEasterMixture Sat 23-Mar-13 18:31:57

nectarini! blush

crazycrush Sat 23-Mar-13 21:24:41

We've also done cc in the past week and our baby was ready for it and sleeps from 7-7 (wakes for one feed around 4).

I haven't picked him up though to comfort. Do you all do that? Doesn't it make the baby's cry even harder? It does with mine..or do you go in and pick up and totally calm down only to put the baby back into bed? Wouldn't that reinforce them to cry because they know you'll come in to cuddle? I would be curious to know what the theory is?

(This all sounds so callous, but cc is for the best of our whole family... We have an older DC that was fed to sleep until 16 months and has been waking up a couple of times per night until almost 5 years)

Good luck everyone!

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