What's your MO during the night if the baby wakes up?

(27 Posts)
crazycrush Mon 11-Mar-13 11:08:54

My strategy for my 6 month old:

- give a good porridge dinner
- dress him warmer in bed when it is so cold
- introduce a comforter
- make sure I have something warm to slip into when I am woken at night, including something for the feet
- drink big bottle of extra hungry formula at first waking at midnight - time for DH to do a feed. (Worried though he will be too exciting for baby... Should I give it a go?)
- breastfeed in kids room if baby wakes during night, put back in cot if he falls asleep on boob or let self soothe for 5 minutes after feed if he hasn't fallen asleep
- if he wont sleep shush-pat for 10 minutes (or should that bit be longer?)
- if he still won't sleep in the cot or keeps waking up (because he is not feeling well) take him to sofa so we can both sleep... Transfer to cot if I wake up and he still sleeps (and this sofa excursion is only meant for days when he is teething or sick, so he has comfort)
- if I notice he starts to expect sleeping with me on the sofa I will find a new way but for now I am hoping he will grow out of it...

Does this sound reasonable?

What do you do?

Andcake Sat 16-Mar-13 14:06:33

Hi...glad to hear its working and for us until last night my version of shh pat seems to be working with great success. After having a few days of hourly waking early this week once we introduced it we went 8-5 two nights in a row witha feed at 5 then in with us when he didn't resettle but I'm ok with that. Last night back to two night feeds and a few waking a but it was very windy here and his cot is a bit close to an air vent and its knocking woke him up a few times. The longer sleeps did mean naps became more difficult ( he just didn't yawn or get tired the first day) so I'm making a determined effort to get him to have naps today even if its on me. I do think one of the tricks for naps is not to let them 'get out of their nap' and re settle if they wake after a short time so it sounds like your technique will work. Ds is currently napping near me on the sofa but it took 2 hours to get him to sleep with a mixture of feeding, teething pain medicine and then a poo! One attempt into the cot failed so sofa on daddy's coat was better than anything else but at least I know me moving wont disturb him :-)

crazycrush Sat 16-Mar-13 12:13:44

Shoeprincess- that kind of schedule us very familiar to me
Andcake- great way of dealing with the falling asleep issue... Have you continued with the shhh pat?

How are you doing?

We have done controlled crying since Tuesday and for naps he cries 30 seconds and evening less than 10 minutes. He woke less and last night slept through. Gosh. But I have to say that as a baby personality he is suitable for this... doesnt have the breastfeed to sleep association, able to suck thumb, likes to sleep and no probs going in the crib. Well, I don't want to jinx it now.

Will continue this for all sleeps
- feed in living room
- go to baby's room, sleeping bag on, one song, put in cot, put mobile on, get out.
- if he cries I sit outside the room and shhhh that quietness him.
- if he wakes at night I'll wait ten mins before going in, unless he is distressed of course. It happened twice that he settled himself after a couple of minutes .
- since doing this method I now have to stick to a routine a bit more so I have worked out his sleep times.

Andcake Wed 13-Mar-13 18:17:37

Thanks for the reasurance neontetra. Crazy- I worried about that to - but rather than just pat and no eye contact I stroked and looked him hopefully lovingly in the eye. He actually ended up smiling. But maybe he thought the stroking was a bit like a move we do at post natal yoga which has him in fits of giggles. As the mad seahorse thing (a present from my db) only has 10 min of lullabies and he never cried longer than one cycle although at one point it took him 4 resets to get him to sleep pst feed then at 6 he joined me in bed.
Good luck for everyone tonight

shoeprincess2 Wed 13-Mar-13 16:45:55

We had a better night last night. He went to bed at 7.00pm after his bath and breastfeed and then had another feed at 10.00pm. He woke at 1am for another feed and then didn't wake again until 4.30am. He then stayed in his cot until 8am. So, we haven't had the waking every hour. Still not brilliant, but at least I feel I have had some sleep, rather than resembling the living dead at the start of the week. Let's see what tonight brings smile

crazycrush Wed 13-Mar-13 16:44:12

:-) Rooney

Totally neonetra. I also feed when the baby wakes up at night and will continue doing so. (Only not every hour). And you're right, in the end sleep is a personality thing, and parents have little influence whatever style they use. I just have a DC1 which was always fed to sleep etc etc and only recently at just under 5 years started to sleep through. Because of this I am a bit apprehensive and want my baby to learn to self soothe.

neontetra Wed 13-Mar-13 16:34:00

Ladies with 6 month olds, just wanted to say, don't despair. My dd was the crappest sleeper imaginable at that age, but now at 11 months more or less sleeps through, which feels like a miracle to us. Mostly I think this is nothing we have done, just age and eating more solids. We are making her room warmer now, which I also believe helps (though I am keeping an eye on this - important not to over-heat). Oh, and I still bf her in the night if she does wake, as I have always done, against the advice of my hv but according to my own instinct. I figure that now, on the occasions she is crying in the night, she probably feels poorly or uncomfy for some reason, so I like to comfort her.

RooneyMara Wed 13-Mar-13 16:25:46

No fair enough, you must do what works for you. Best of British smile

crazycrush Wed 13-Mar-13 16:22:32

Rooney - I totally get co sleeping etc, it just doesn't work for us as a family.

crazycrush Wed 13-Mar-13 16:18:29

Andcake - Have been applying the technique I posted above... I guess that is controlled crying.. bedtime was about 10 minutes crying. Then he woke for one feed at 1.30 and then he grumbled (really only grumbled, not cried) for ten minutes around three and went to sleep without me needing to go in.

For the lunchtime nap I just put him in his cot, put the cot mobile on and he rolled over (was very tired!). So far so good.

The shh-pat hasn't worked for me so far. Doesn't it make your kids be more anxious because they don't get why they aren't picked up?

Andcake Wed 13-Mar-13 15:47:35

Shoeprincess- that's interesting that naps work well. We had a real struggle to get ds to nap in his cot and still we sometimes just give in and have a co sleeping nap. Which helps me catch up on some rest.
How was last night? After two nights of up every hour for no apparent reason (checked all the usual suspects -wind etc) we were back to only two wakes for feeds ( which felt like bliss) main difference was rather than cuddling to sleep I did a modified shh pat. I do not like the idea of controlled crying at all or CIO and would have picked him up if he cried fr too long) Rather than pat I stroked and he calmed v quickly but staring at his fisher price sea horse and listening to its lullabies watching its nightlight helped. I hadn't really tried the seahorse before but it really helped as the nightlight meant he could see me clearly.

RooneyMara Tue 12-Mar-13 11:49:01

Btw your HV sounds really sensible re most babies still waking.

I do co sleep and breastfeed, it worked well with my older two.

RooneyMara Tue 12-Mar-13 11:47:58

I'm not sure it's any use to you as we look to have very different approaches but fwiw, if he wakes I feed him, and try and wind him a bit, and he goes back to sleep next to me.

If he stays awake for a bit, wriggling or maybe crying a bit or needing a poo etc I'll just try and make him comfortable on me or next to me, and change his nappy if necessary, and eventually he has another feed and goes to sleep again. (9 weeks)

shoeprincess2 Tue 12-Mar-13 11:39:45

Andcake- we moved Oliver into his own room on Sunday. Thing is, he is
perfectly fine sleeping in there during the day. He takes 5 minutes to self settle and then has 2 glorious naps- one in the morning and one in the afternoon. So, I cannot understand why, as soon as it hits midnight, he won't sleep for more than 1-2 hours at a time. It is so strange.

Andcake Tue 12-Mar-13 11:27:54

Ds used to just wake twice a night but the last two its been every 1-2hrs. With just two feeds one being hungry baby. So food didn't work and I'd shovelled banana in. He seems to have completely forgotten how to self sooth so we're back to the early days of holding him til his fast asleep. Only once last nigt did i get him back to sleep without picking him up and then it was when i tried 'shh pat' technique making it more of a rock than a pat (god knows where i read to try that) anyway he ended up on his side and fell back to sleep. of course i then couldn't sleep because i was worried about sids. Finally got a few hours after I bought him in with us at 5. I'm sure it's some separation thing he slept v soundly but as soon as there was more space in the bed and I moved an inch further back eyes popped open.

Not sure whether moving to own room will help- how have you ladies found it.
Or anyone try side car cots or adapting theirs. I feel like we're going backwards or forward!

shoeprincess2 Tue 12-Mar-13 09:59:51

Crazy- I didn't sleep well at all in the last 2 months of pregnancy, so so much for stocking up on sleep before baby arrived. Plus, we moved house 13 days before i gave birth, so quite a stressful time all round. Interesting that food intake/ sleep amounts are mutually exclusive. So, no point trying to stock him up at night? I don't co sleep, so that one isn't an option. I have put a duvet down in his room, so i can at least lie down in comfort when I go in and feed. Last night was a little better- only up twice with him, so got a little bit more sleep. Thing is, I am now on pins waiting for him to wake up, so i can't relax or go asleep easily. Typical!

crazycrush Tue 12-Mar-13 09:40:29

Shoeprincess - wow waking every hour is so hard!! I get what you are saying about the baby waking everyone up .. didn't you sleep well during the pregnancy? Since your saying it has been since July.. Anyway, sending wine

Teacher - your plan sound consistent. That's what I need as well in the small hours! What do you do in the ten minutes between checks?

Stargirl / noodled. Yes sofa idea is terrible and also dangerous.. thanks for pintingout. Not doing that. And six wakings is so tiring. Do you co sleep?

Andcake - I have this food repulsion sometimes with meat, so I see what you're saying. Banana and toast sounds good.. And maybe mashed potatoes? BLW is good as well, btw, especially if you have a voracious
/ good eater.

Bakeryqueen - good for you that you're still co sleeping. It is a lovely way to cope with the sleep issue... For us not possible because DH can't sleep with baby in bed and he has trouble sleeping anyway. I have 3 as well btw :-)

-
I went to get my baby weighed yesterday and talked to HV about sleep...especially in relation to eating / weaning and she said that more formula and food won't stop them waking at night at this stage... Only around 9 months when food is established they ideally have a pattern of eating during the day and not at night. HV also said that some mothers get lucky and have a baby that sleeps well at night but most babys still wake up at night.

Our night was a little bit better. Am still not sure what my strategy will be... But am leaning towards teaching dc3 to fall asleep by himself, while still feeding at night if he needs it.
- offer feed if he wakes at night (if the last feed was more than one or two hours ago)
- put him back in cot
- if he cries check on him every 10 minutes, unless he sounds really distressed
- if he is considerably quieter after 10 minutes have passed I will not go in.

. Link here. [[ http://www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice/-/Health-and-Development/-/0-to-4-years/Sleep-problems-~-when-controlled-crying-doesn't-work.aspx]]

This is the bit that I am referring to

"Suggested routine for a 7.30pm bedtime:
7.00pm: A warm bath lasting no longer than 5 to 10 minutes, with one or two toys only. Change into pyjamas and tell a bedtime story. Place her into the cot, say goodnight and leave the room.

If your baby cries when you place them in the cot, start the controlled crying technique.

Wait 5 minutes before going back to the room. Make your check brief with minimal interaction. Don't touch, pick her up, or cuddle her. Simply say, “Mummy/Daddy is here, go to sleep” and leave the room, even if she is still crying.
If she is still crying after 10 minutes, go in and repeat the procedure.
If she is still crying after 15 minutes, repeat the procedure.
Repeat every 15 minutes until she is asleep.
If she starts to quieten, wait to see if she is starting to settle to sleep. If you go in at this point you may disturb the settling process. If she starts to cry loudly again, start your checking again.
You will need to do this every time she wakes in the night. Start your checking from 5 minutes.
If you apply the technique properly, your child should not cry for much more than an hour.
Don’t give up. Be consistent. The first three nights will be gruelling, but after this you will see a considerable improvement.
The point of this programme is to teach your child to sleep independently. The considerable benefits of sleep to her - and you - will outweigh any temporary discomfort."

TheBakeryQueen Mon 11-Mar-13 20:17:07

I feed on demand still day & night. Ds3 is 6mths old. He feeds frequently but short feeds. I co-sleep and find that's the best way to get sleep & not have to get out of bed even if he wakes.

He has a dummy too.

None of mine slept through at this age so im still going with the flow.

I am tempted to try a bottle of formula before going to bed though to see if that'll help him settle for longer stretches.

I certainly wouldn't take him downstairs. Id make sure everything you need is upstairs by the bed. If he's awake will he just lie on the bed next to you? If it's getting towards getting up time I'll pass ds a bib to play with or put my face close to his or my hand to play with while I rest a bit longer.

They do all sleep through eventually though.

Andcake Mon 11-Mar-13 17:09:15

Seems like a few of us in the same boat.

Thanks crazy for the blw tip. I was keen on it as we have a wide variety of food allergies in my family and I am a horribly fussy eater and get repulsed by foods really easily. So don't want ds to be like this and I can cope with giving him finger food rather than purees which sometimes the idea of makes me gag. Strange that I can cope with baby poo no probs. might try something heavy he is swallowing like banana or toast this evening.
How is your nap schedule? And when do you offer food? I am trying to get him to do as many naps in his cot as possible so he gets used to sleeping there.

Noodled Mon 11-Mar-13 13:02:33

Oh you saw that already!

Noodled Mon 11-Mar-13 13:00:43

Yeah do whatever other than sofa share, dangerous at this age still.

stargirl1701 Mon 11-Mar-13 12:54:33

Hi. I think sofa sleeping may be dangerous. You might be better taking him into your bed.

My DD is also 6 months and wakens frequently overnight. 6 times between 11pm and 7am last night.

teacher123 Mon 11-Mar-13 12:40:27

If DS (10.5mo) wakes up now I'm not bf anymore then I do things in the following order:
Give him a quick cuddle, sometimes just stroke his hair. Leave for 10 minutes.
If still awake offer water and check nappy. Leave for 10 minutes
If still awake offer cup of milk. Leave for 10 minutes
If still awake assume it's teething/not feeling well and give calpol/nurofen. Leave for 10 minutes
If still awake leave him to it until he settles off, checking at intervals.

shoeprincess2 Mon 11-Mar-13 12:04:29

I'm glad I'm not the only one having sleep issues with my LO. He is just 6 months old and we moved him into his own room last night. He has never slept through the night. Ever (and I am getting increasingly annoyed by people saying "is he a good baby?" I say "what do you mean a good baby?" to which they say "Well, does he sleep through?" By that rule of thumb, my LO is very, very bad!) Anyway, the longest he has ever managed in one go at night is 5 hours. But, he seems to have regressed. Routine is as follows:-

6pm- evening solids
7pm-7.30pm- b/feed. Then he sleeps till about 10pm
10pm- b/feed. Then he sleeps until 12am.

Then from 12am-6am, he is awake pretty much every hour. Last night, I had to keep going into his room, giving him boob, he would drop asleep, but then once I put him in his cot, his eyes would ping open and he would cry. I was tempted to just leave him crying, but am worried about a) my partner waking up and b) the neighbours being disturbed.

After his 6am feed though, he slept until 9am- at least somebody got a lie in. So, any ideas anybody, as i am getting increasingly rundown and weary. I haven't had a good night's sleep since July 2012. Please send wine

crazycrush Mon 11-Mar-13 11:48:54

BLW is lovely but also was the root of all evil for dc1 because he snacked or licked the food a bit and relied on milk always including during the night. But I know food is only for fun until 1 but from painful experience I am a bit more old fashioned with this now. I was a big fan of BLW with DC1... Now I make sure the baby also gets full and can the play with carrot sticks.

Thanks for pointing out the sofa danger you are right!

Well, good luck and let me know. Will update as well.

Andcake Mon 11-Mar-13 11:39:02

Ooh also have heard banana works so going to try that at supper :-)

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