dentist says we have to ditch the dummy - help!!

(18 Posts)
crazypaving Fri 08-Mar-13 17:49:30

ds1 is 2.4 and only ever has his dummy in his cot. but he's really reliant on it and I suspect keeps the dummy in for much of the night.

I can see his front teeth are starting to move forwards, and today the dentist at his first check up has confirmed that we need to get rid of the dummy immediately or risk his adult teeth being pushed out of alignment.

I've been dreading this as ds1 is so addicted to it and I have 5 month old ds2, so sleep is in short supply anyway. and I hate the idea of him giving up something he loves and being distressed.

does anyone have any experience of getting rid of a dummy with a toddler this age? any tips? I think he's too little to 'get' the dummy fairy. am I going to have to resign myself to a dismal extended time of misery?

help!

BedHog Fri 08-Mar-13 17:54:34

If he can understand Father Christmas, he'll probably understand the dummy fairy too, particularly if she leaves a good present!

Just to reassure you though, my DS got wonky teeth from his dummy and our dentist gave us the same warnings. A couple of months after we finally managed to ditch the dummy at 3 and a bit, his teeth were back where they should be.

crazypaving Fri 08-Mar-13 18:04:21

thanks for your reassurance! part of me is lazily wondering if I stick my fingers in my ears, shout la la la loudly and let him keep his dummy til he's older, whether the damage will still be reversible. I need a slap.

I'm just wondering whether his understanding is good enough for him to be reasoned with when he's hysterical at 11p.m. (or whenever) because he's sleepy and wants his dummy sad poor little thing sad

Victoria2002 Sat 09-Mar-13 09:09:27

I have done this before. Spent a couple of weeks saying things like "you are getting to be such a big boy now that one day soon you will tell me you don't need your dummy any more" and "I'm going to be so proud when you are too big for the dummy". Not meant to be a threat, but a really positive spin on growing out of it. If that doesn't work then bribery, eg when you give up the dummy you can have a Thomas the tank duvet set or whatever. If that doesn't work then dummy fairy can bring the duvet set. Take time and keep the message of it's yours and you can have it, but soon you won't need it. The first time this worked for me (as a nanny) the two year old just came into the kitchen one evening and put his dummy in the bin-mum & I were amazed (but still fished it out in case of an emergency)! You gotta be really confident though, and if you reach the dummy fairy route you have to stick to it. You will be surprised how quickly kids that age get over it though.

crazypaving Sat 09-Mar-13 09:35:34

thanks Victoria. got serious wobbles about it all! we have told him that the dentist would be likely to say no more dummy. it's a good idea though to talk about big boys etc. do you think setting a date and counting down to it is a good or bad idea? dh has a week off coming up and we're staying at home. could be a good time? argh...

FoxyRevenger Sat 09-Mar-13 09:56:26

I did the Dummy Fairy thing a few weeks ago and was SO dreading it.

We bagged up her dummies, and magically a book and a doll appeared later: she honestly cried for 10 minutes at bedtime, but never asked for it. She's never mentioned it again! They are clearly way more adaptable than we realise.

FoxyRevenger Sat 09-Mar-13 10:20:35

Oh, and my tip would be actually DO get rid of the dummies. I think if you keep them in reserve it will be much harder to sound confident that this is the new way of things.

LynetteScavo Sat 09-Mar-13 10:29:12

I think he's old enough to understand the dummy fairy. (Hey, it's either blame it on the dummy fairy, or let him know you're really mean, and it's actually you who's not letting him have it!)

Spend some time letting him know the dummy will be going, and lmake a big thing of him getting big...and get him a toy (from the dummy fairy) he really wants.

Make sure you bin all dummies! I went out 3 nights after the dummy fairy had been, and come home to find weak willed DH had found a dummy and given it to DD angry.

Overall, it wasn't as bad as I'd anticipated, although she still has a strong dislike of fairies to this day!

orangeandlemons Sat 09-Mar-13 10:55:03

A word of warning.....we ditched dd's dummy on dentist advice. 3 weeks later she found her thumb....at least with a dummy you have control. Dd's thumb is permanently welded in her mouth. She once did a swimming lesson, swimming up and down baths with said thumb in place [ blush]

OrangePetals Sat 09-Mar-13 11:16:30

My dentist seems quite relaxed about this, says it needs to be ditched before the adult teeth come through but damage to baby teeth won't damage those waiting to come through.

Anyone know if this is true?

Kveta Sat 09-Mar-13 11:27:47

We just took the dummy away when DS was 2.3. That was it. He had a cold so was struggling to breathe with it in, so we removed it. He asked for it once the following night and we said we'd look for it.

Still took him another year to sleep through, but at least we didn't have to look for a dummy 4 times a night in that year.

thing1andthing2 Sat 09-Mar-13 11:36:24

My dentist said the same thing about dd when she was 2.1. I was stressing about doing the dummy fairy etc, but DH just put dd to bed one night without a dummy, and we took it from there. She asked for the dummy for maybe three nights but didn't make much of a fuss. We just hid them really well and she got over it really fast. And this was a child who had to have three dummies for going to bed (one in each hand as well as one in her mouth), kept the dummy in all night, and for whom we had to go and buy dummies from a nearby shop, if we had accidentally gone out without them otherwise she couldn't get to sleep in the buggy!
Thank goodness ds (8 months) refuses a dummy and I don't have to go through it all again!

crazypaving Sun 10-Mar-13 09:06:19

thank you so much for all your replies. you all give me some hope, but I am certain he'll ask for the dummy as he is properly mad about it. he pops upstairs sometimes for a bit of a "quickie" cos he knows he's not allowed it downstairs confused

I guess each child is somewhat different. the thought of him substituting with thumb is something I hadn't even considered! that's proper skills, swimming with thumb in situ grin oh dear.

ok so I guess we pick a date, do some discussion with ds about big boys and dummy fairies, find a really good toy, and ditch the dummies.

gulp.

MrsDeVere Sun 10-Mar-13 09:16:10

crazy I have done this four times with my five DCs (DC5 didnt want a dummy dammit).
It will be FINE

Within weeks they forget they even had a dummy.

Have a good scout around for the many thousands that will be hanging about the house.

I had a Dummy Pirate for DS3 (although now he would much prefer the fairy. That'll teach me to gender sterotype grin )

I got a paper gift bag, stuck a sticker on it. DS went around picking up the dummies and left them out at night for collection. A present awaited him the next morning.

crazypaving Sun 10-Mar-13 12:15:35

weeks? <quiver> what are the weeks until they forget like?

MrsDeVere Sun 10-Mar-13 12:52:45

Ha ha.
Well I survived so you will too!

You can try the gradual thing, I did it with mine
Cut down to dummies to naps/sleep only
Then cut down to nights only
THEN explain that the dummies are going to be taken to the little babies who need them.

You might have a few rocky nights or DS might accept your explanation totally and not worry at all <hopeful>

You will probably have a few days of him finding odd ones around the house.

When I say it takes a few weeks for them to forget about them, I mean they act as if they never had one at all. It shouldn't take weeks for them to get used to not having one.

I can only go buy my lot but they are all very different kids so quite a good cross section smile

crazypaving Sun 10-Mar-13 14:46:30

thanks mrs. ds was an absolutely horrendous sleeper until 16m and I have The Fear that everything will go badly tits up.

ah well, at least I'll be on ds2 duty while dh deals with ds1 grin although no doubt he'll be yelling for mummy...sigh.

fhutts Wed 20-Mar-13 20:45:09

I had exactly the same fear as my DD1 aged 3 was totally reliant on her dummy and the dentist told me the same. This is very bad but I will share it blush. An advert for a water charity came on the TV and DD asked why the babies were crying. Immediately out of my mouth came the words, they have no dummies, perhaps you can give the sad babies your dummies?
Sweet Lord shame on me! But it worked, we bought a pink glittery box and made a big show of putting them in about a week later, after giving her notice. We said that the Christmas reindeer were coming to fetch them that night and would leave a gift. Sure enough that night she left them at the end of her bed and I swear she didn't cry or even ask for them. She simply went to sleep. In the morning the dummies were replaced by LOTS of glitter and presents. Plus a letter from the reindeer. just to back it up, a week later we read her a letter thru the post to from the sad babies to say thank you ( a BT phone bill actually) Never looked back. Trust me I was amazed seeing as nothing ever has ever worked for me before, CC, gradual retreat yawn yawn!!!

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