My DS, who is 2.6, is a pretty cheery toddler. He has his moments but is generally not a massive tamtrummer. He is extremely stubborn on a few things - won't use a pushchair, for example, or becomes hysterical - but for most things, he can be distracted/coaxed and so on. He is extremely affectionate.
But in the last few weeks, he has started having intense screaming fits at night. Not every night, but maybe once or twice a week. The usual pattern is that he goes to bed fine, then wakes up sweating and screaming at about 11pm. I am not sure if he is having a night terror/nightmare or just extremely angry about being awake when he is so tired. At first he seems to be asleep, but then he can scream commands "light on, light on" so he seems to be awake.
Last time, he woke up because he was hot (I think) and I lay down with him, cuddled him, shushed him etc - all things that would normally send him back to sleep. He was hysterical, kicking me and screaming at the top of his voice.
Over the period of two hours, I tried singing to him and rocking him - this made him more furious and he was yelling "stop singing! Noooo". He was thrashing around in bed so much hitting his head off the wall that I was scared to leave him alone, so walking away was not an option. Then I would try lying down with him in his bed - he would punch and kick me and arch his back screaming "no bed".
In the end, I told him in an unpleasant voice that it was fine to feel cross when you woke up and were tired but not to kick mummy EVER. He did actually stop kicking me then to my amazement but continued jerking his body around and screaming in rage.
In the end, after two hours, we turned on three lights in my bedroom as he became hysterical about the light being on (has never shown any fear of the dark before now), lay down in my bed and read three books together, during which he calmed down and became completely normal again and he passed out in my arms.
I can't really see a link between the episodes. He hasn't napped in the day for several months and is often tired in the evening. But these screaming fits have only recently started. I find them very upsetting as I can take him being upset and comforting him but these periods where it is like I have no effect on him at all are horrible. He seems absolutely fine in the morning. (My mum was staying last night and said that she would not have believed me if I'd told her he was like this as he is so good-natured generally; she'd have thought I meant standard crying instead of this total demented hysteria).
Does anyone have any ideas for how I can deal with this? Or been through similar? I am 35 weeks pregnant with DS2 and cannot conceive how DH and I can both hold a screaming newborn and a screaming toddler at night.
I'm looking for gentle solutions that don't involve leaving him to scream, particularly at a time when he is about to get a new sibling. I don't think he is intentionally being bad; he is just destroyed by tiredness and can't cope, so goes loopy.
I am working a 12 hour day today, exhausted from pregnancy, DH is away this week for work and I can't bear the thought of another two-hour marathon session of screaming tonight. This morning DS was thrilled to take a book into nursery to show everyone and was happily chatting away about spending this afternoon with my mum, whereas I want to lie down under my desk and never stop crying. Help! (Be kind.)
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Toddler having screaming fits in night - gentle solutions?
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RubyrooUK · 12/02/2013 13:33
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