Please help I'm at the end of my tether

(15 Posts)
GingerPCatt Mon 04-Feb-13 21:01:04

DS is 20 mo and never been a good sleeper. Getting him to sleep used to be ok, bath bottle, bit of a cuddle and he was out. Now it takes an hour or two to cuddle him to sleep. I can't do it any more. He wiggles and pulls my hair pokes and kicks me and I can feel myself getting so angry and frustrated. I know I should have sleep trained him or something, but I don't know what to do or where to start. It's been neArly 2 hours and I had dh take over cause I'm about to cry.
He'll be almost out and then he wakes him self up and gets more and more wound up. I often end up holding him down so he'll calm down enough to sleep. I can't go on like this.

Yamyoid Mon 04-Feb-13 21:09:16

I know it won't be a popular suggestion but I recommend controlled crying.
Do the usual bedtime routine then put him in bed with a saying that you'll repeat, ie 'goodnight, time to go to sleep' and leave the room. Go back after 2 mins and say goodnight again and leave. Go back in after four mins then 8 and so on. The first few nights it will take a long time for him to fall asleep but after that he should get the message.
It's tough but I found it effective.

My DS was violently sick when we tried the above. Every time. It was awful sad

princesssmartypantss Mon 04-Feb-13 22:03:57

i am really sorry i don't have any solutions but just wanted you to know our situation is similar. ds is 18m old, he used to have a feed and then chill out completely and worst case scenario was it would take him 10 minutes to go to sleep alone in his room, he has self weaned and now has to have us in the room to go to sleep and it can take up to an hour and a half, just to add to our problems he is also trying to dodge his lunchtime nap which i need as much as he does! we have tried leaving him to cry but it just seems to distress him and prolong bedtime even more. i have read that this is not a good Time for separation anxiety (when is) so not sure controlled crying will work for us, hope things improve.

GingerPCatt Tue 05-Feb-13 07:43:14

I don't think CC will work since he's in a bed not a crib. He'll just get out and come and find us.
My strategy for today is to take him to the park this afternoon and see if I can wear him out. Combined with an earlier bedtime...will see what happens.
Last night he was nearly out at 7:30, but then woke himself up and then fought sleep until nearly 9!
Fingers crossed for tonight.

AbbyCat Tue 05-Feb-13 07:49:40

He sounds overtired. Is he napping?

GingerPCatt Tue 05-Feb-13 11:33:36

Yes, he has about one to an hour and a half nap. I try to get him up around 2ish.
Do you think if I let him sleep until he naturally wakes would help? I though capping his nap might help he go to sleep at a more reasonable time.

GingerPCatt Wed 06-Feb-13 09:51:49

It took him an hour to get to sleep last night confused. Tonight I'm going to go straight to the holding so he can't move trick. Do they make swaddles for toddlers? wink

AbbyCat Wed 06-Feb-13 10:33:34

We used to have similar antics from DS. It's worst when he doesn't nap and is overtired. It's almost as if he can't switch off and every time he gets close to dropping off his brain kick starts him awake. I wouldn't drop the nap as I find that made his sleep worse. What time is nap? And what time is bedtime?

GingerPCatt Wed 06-Feb-13 19:41:30

7:30!!! I'm doing a very quiet victory dance. I just held him tightly against me and when he's normally wiggle away, I just held him tight. We'll see if it works tomorrow smile

DS did similar around 16 months, I think separation anxiety peaks again around 18 months plus they're starting to realise they have control over some things and can also start having nightmares. Personally I wouldn't wake him up from his nap unless it's creeping past about 4.30. What worked out for us was putting him to bed later (we were trying at 6.30 and he wasn't actually going to sleep until 8.30 so we tried nearer 8 and it took 10-15 mins) - we hated it because we got less time to ourselves but he just wasn't tired when we were trying to get him to sleep.

I think now at just turned 2 he's ready for an earlier bedtime, maybe 7ish. It's worth trying if it's taking that long anyway, it was a relief for us in the long run because we were all getting irritable grin

charitymum Wed 06-Feb-13 20:39:19

Exactly the same for our our 22 month old OP. Struggle every night exactly as you describe added to by his current addiction to boobie (I'm feeding him and his baby brother and its almost like he's too scared to ever detach from breast in case baby gets it!!)

For the last week we have been letting him sit up quietly with is til 9
rather than fighting for two hours from seven. He's gone down within 10 mins.

He is rubbish at self settling - we did resort to taking him out in car bad parents that we are.

More fresh air helps. As does turning down lights and noise across house - but there is only so long you can expect two older sisters to tip toe around.

13 year old was like this and has never needed much sleep. Think it may just be how some children are.

Jealous of your 7.30 success ....

GingerPCatt Thu 07-Feb-13 08:47:38

Two steps forward... I knew I was cursing it by posting...
After a good bedtime, we had 2 nightwakings (up from 1 the past few nights) and the second one he was up for over an hour shock
Will try the same thing tonight and pray to the nightwakings gods. hmm

charitymum Fri 08-Feb-13 21:13:14

How did it go?

GingerPCatt Sat 09-Feb-13 08:04:09

The past couple of nights have been much better grin. It's taking about 30 min to get him to sleep. After bottle and brushing teeth, I'm holding him tightly against me so he can't get up. I've got some children's audio books to listen to (Winnie the pooh as the mo) and will try classical music as well. I'm not sure how much ds us getting out of the stories, but it makes it more enjoyable for me wink. He's still doing his normal waking for a bottle (the next mission) and he has be waking again later, but he falls back asleep within a few minutes.
Now I still have to sort the nconfusedghttime bottle and get him sleeping on his own - right now I'm sleeping in his bed. It's always something with these little buggers wink.

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