putting a newborn and a 4YO to bed - when and how to do?

[bean612]

DS is due in a week and I'm wondering about when people start putting newborns to bed in the evening. Obviously unless you're very lucky they're still going to be waking up for a feed(s) before you go to bed yourself, but is it possible after a few days/weeks (have no clue really!) to try and settle them to sleep in the evening as you would an older baby/child?

Although DS is DC2, the reason I have no idea about this is that DD (now 4) had reflux and screamed all evening every evening for the first few months so there was absolutely no point even attempting such a thing with her. Of course, DS may turn out to be a refluxer/colicky baby too - though I really hope not!

It's not that I want to get DS into some kind of strict, She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named-type routine, more that it just makes sense to me to try and encourage the progress of the 'nights are for sleeping' development of DS's little body clock, and also, with a 4YO in the picture as well, I think life would be easier for all of us with some sort of structure in the evenings - if possible.

So - am I mad, or can it be done? What sort of age do people start putting babies to bed in the evenings, and can it be done in tandem with a 4YO? DD has bath around 7pm, in bed by 7.30 and then a couple of stories and songs before going to sleep by 8pm.

[Cies]

My dd is now 2 mo and ds is three. If the baby is awake I bath the two of them together. Baby in for a short while, then has a feed while ds finishes bath. Baby usually drops off for a short nap then, so I get ds to bed (teeth, stories etc). But if baby is awke then she comes along to snuggle up on ds's bed while we do stories.

Personally I then take baby with me to living room till it's my bedtime, as I know that's what the SIDS advice is.

[bean612]

Hi Cies, yes, hadn't thought about SIDS aspect - that's about babies not sleeping unsupervised, I guess? Do you keep lights low and noise down in the living room then, or just carry on as normal?

[plantsitter]

We did the same as Cies - kept DD2 downstairs with us until bed time, often cluster feeding. Not sure I knew that was the SIDS advice but tbh it was nice to have time alone with her that DD1 had all the time but DD2 rarely gets! Then because she was with us throughout the bed time routine she sort of fell into that routine too.

[JezzaJ9]

I have ds1 now 4 and ds2 6 mo. We put DS2 to bed at the same time as DS1 from the day we got home from hospital. We used the monitor he was a pretty colicky baby so I ended up with him upstairs most of the time anyway, with DS1 we started a bedtime routine at 5 weeks so it seemed the best thing to do. Our routine is : If DP is around which he is most nights he baths the boys at 6-6:30 then I take DS2 and feed while DP sorts DS1 normally sorted for about 7:15. if on my own I bath them both at 6pm get DS1 out he then helps dress and entertain DS2 we then have a joint story time and say goodnight then I feed DS 2 by about 6:50ish. I did worry about SIDs but with DS1 he was just to unsettled in the lounge at night before bed and we have a pretty small house and I was always in bed by about 9! I'm not sure how DS2 will be after teething and colds but DS1 has this routine everywhere he has been and he likes the stability.