Hi Lavenderpots, I thought should do an update incase anyone else is in the same position. We took the side off her cost and put a folding bed bar on. On the first night we put her in after bottle/story and sat by the cot. She cried for the first half an hour - not hyterically, but due to tiredness - grumbled for ten minutes, then went to sleep. She now goes to sleep without crying after half an hour to an hour of laughing and chatting to herself in her cot, and she has slept through almost every night (11 & 1/2 hours last night) since we changed from cot to bed. She even likes it so much that she tries to climb in if you take her in her room in the day. Success! (for now, until the next time....)
it is very difficult!! not really sure what is best but keep at the same thing don't let her into your/the spare room as that is what she wants keep calming her etc whatever works for you best.
as for childproofing they are bound to find something you haven't thought of!! don't leave her room until she is completely calm, once you put her down (really do find having complete darkness is best) gently stroke her arm/tummy or whatever slowly withdraw all the while doing the mummy is here shush thing, turn your back to her I know it's dark but I find it helps and keep pushing telling her your their etc till she quietens down. perseverance is the key!
Thanks for the quick reply LavenderPots. I did think 13months was probably too young, but as she passes out on an adult sized mattress, I did wonder if it would help, perhaps if we child-proofed her room? I know what you mean about her getting into everything though, as she has been walking since October and has recently worked out how to go upstairs and climb on the sofa. Not ideal.
I will try the slow withdrawal again but the problem is that she does not calm down, and that is before i have even left the room! Maybe I will have to wait until she is a bit older and understands. Ho hum.
we have something similar with our 21month old DD. what i currently do is put her in the bed & leave the room, she will start crying i make sure all lights upstairs are out and go into her room a quick (30secs-1 min) cuddle put her back into bed shushing her gently re-assuring her im their...i will then stand in her room for a couple mins reassuring her etc, then walk towards the door any little sounds i more quietly shush tell her i'm there. i then (non noisily) open the door and go out of the room, stand outside her room then slowly and quietly shut the door. it usually takes less than ten mins in total - i think she thinks i am sitting in her room with her (as she has recently started telling me to sit down!!) but it works for us...
if you take the cot side off is she safe in her room?? can she empty drawers touch radiators, climb things, fall a long way?? i think 13 months is a little young as they dont understand cause and effect e.g. i touch hot thing it hurts hand
Until about 2 weeks ago my 13month old dd was quite good at sleeping through the night. We hadn't mastered getting her to go to sleep without being rocked in the pram (yes, I know, a rod for my own back, but lets not go there), but she would always nod off and go into her cot. If she woke in the night she either self-settled, or would go back to sleep in a couple of minutes with reassurance.
However, for the last two weeks she wakes up soon after going in to her cot, and is incredibly hard to settle. I tried to calm her down yesterday and leave her to stand in her cot, but she cried so hard she threw up everywhere, which rather puts paid to the idea of leaving her to settle herself. However, if I put her on the bed (either the spare bed in her room or my bed) she goes straight to sleep, even if I wander out of the room. I know she is only 13months, but might it be time to take the side off her cot and put on a bed barrier? It seems to be the cot she is scared of. Does anyone have any suggestions?