High Needs Baby Support Group (thread V)(351 Posts)
A new thread for a new year!
The original thread was to support those of us with babies fitting the following criteria:
1. Feeds frequently daytime
2. Feeds frequently nighttime
3. Needs to be constantly held
4. Wont sleep alone
5. Hates the car seat/pram
6. Short naps
Some of our babies have grown out of some of those now, but we're still here to support each other through the sleepless nights and noisy car journeys and to offer hugs, chocolate and wine to anyone who's struggling.
So if that list sounds familiar then come and join us as we delight in our active, inquisitive, curious and restless babies or toddlers!
Thank you again for your kind words ladies. In the light of day things are fine. Sleep deprivation takes you to some funny places doesn't it. Before DS, DH and I never argued, were never snarky at each other.
We didn't make it to the GP today as we all slept in a little late. I didn't surface until about 8.45am DS didn't wake for the day until 9.30am (he's normally up between 6.30 and 7pm). If you don't call our doctors as soon as it opens, there's no chance of an appointment. If there is no change by Monday morning, I'll take him.
He's been a bit brighter today, cough is still horrid though. DH held him in the bathroom while I had a really hot shower and then got in the shower with him once it cooled a little - heard that steam helps coughs/colds. It was so sweet seeing DH and DS sitting together under the shower, catching the water in their hands. Keeping fingers crossed that he has a better night - it's going better this evening so far than it has the last four nights, but I don't want to jinx anything.
Poor itchy DS Natmu I hope he is a little better tonight. And same to you Night. <sprinkles liberal amounts of sleepy dust over the bubs and toddlers>
Was thinking earlier about other early high-needs support ladies that I've not seen about in a long while - Littlewaveylines, Mampig, QK and any others who might still be reading - hope you and your little ones are all doing ok.
Hey tickleme! How weird, I was just reading this thread again and I got a shout out from you. It's QK here, under another guise. I kind of lost you guys, partly because my smartphone broke and partly because DS went through a very brief period of sleeping a bit better.
So he's 19mo now and from about 12-17mo, I could feed him to sleep at 7pm and he'd wake up once or twice. It was bliss and I even had an evening out!
Anyway, as I'm back visiting the sleep board you may have guessed that's all gone to pot now. He wakes up 4-5 times a night now and won't settle until I'm on his mattress with him, in what I call his "squat". Seriously, I have such envy of other mothers with gorgeous little nurseries! No idea what's going on, obviously I make the old teething/cold excuses. Starting to wonder if there is down thing wrong with him, although everything else seems on track and he's a right old chatterbox.
DH has been making weaning/CC noises. This is partly because he wants another baby, but (although I am ovulating and AF returned at 11 months) I am ovulating very late in my cycle. Apparently this is common for bfing mothers.
So that's you all caught up with me - what's new with you gals?
Tickle - having just reread the thread in more detail, I spy your post about an 18 month regression/development post. Tell me more. I had thought all the official regressions had passed by now, but would explain a lot
<eyes DS, napping with a nipple in his mouth like a newborn>
<gathers Joyful up for an extra smooch after reading her posts>
Yay QK/Fred Good to hear from you - glad you at least had a few months of decent-ish sleep and a night out! Lucky girl, you!
As you can probably gather, things here are a bit tough. DS has been poorly for ages now, first with sickness/diaorrhea and now with a horrid cough and cold. And teething. And yep, I thought we were done with regressions to, but apparently not. Here's a link I found: 18-month sleep regression Once again, this too shall pass!
We too had months of blissful nights where he would wake up once per night (some nights, shock horror, not even once! Had a couple of those mythical lesser spotted 8pm-7am stretches). I got a night out too! But it's all gone to shit for now at least. DH, thankfully, appreciates how useful The Boob has been while DS has been ill, so under no pressure to wean. I don't know what I'd do without it, to be honest.
We're still living with my dad, but we're hopefully moving out towards the middle of this year. The current plan is, save a specific amount towards a house deposit while we're here - nearly at our target figure, and then move to Brighton/Hove and rent for a while until we find our feet and DH finds work, and then buy a flat there in a year or so while still saving (and hopefully prices might move slightly lower!). There's probably billions of more affordable places we could move to, but that area has always been special for DH and me (we got engaged there) and we've always said it'd be a great place to bring up a child.
Hmm I think that's about all! Goiod to hear from you missus! <smooches right back atcha!>
<smooches Fred> Good to see you! Sorry to hear that DS is being pesky though. I think DD went through a similar stage - certainly at about 18-20 months she was waking anything up to 5 times a night.
Well DS is poorly - not entirely sure what's up but teething and a reaction to this week's vaccines are the top suspects. DD's a little under the weather too, and we're keeping a close eye on her to see whether she's developing chicken pox. <reaches for gin>
However we have lovely snow and more forecast tomorrow so I'm happy. I didn't think we'd ever have snow like this after leaving Wales but we had about 4 inches of beautifully fine, powdery snow yesterday.
I hate the snow [grinch emoticon] and it seems DS has inherited this. Do any of your HN babies have a thing about certain clothes? Like DS won't wear a hat or his wellies, which kind of makes playing outside in the snow impossible. He also hates being in anything vaguely uncomfy, like a bit tight or with tight cuffs etc. Is this another HN thing?
Also, can someone talk to me about tantrums? Another HN trait as we seem to have at least one a day? Sigh. Today's was because we couldn't stay pushing the buttons on the lift in the shopping centre all day.
Sorry to hear your babes are poorly tickle and puddle. I think gin is a good idea <reaches for bottle>
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Lovely to see you Leclerc Sorry to hear your 18-month old is being a pickle as well. It's a bloody killer isn't it
DS is on the mend. GP couldn't hear anything on his chest and so just got to keep him all wrapped up and it will pass. Better sleep last night, only woke twice. He's having one nap a day the last couple of days - on Sunday he managed nearly 3 hours... And this from a baby that couldn't nap longer than 30 minutes at one point. His cough is clearing up thankfully, but I've got it now. Joy of joys. Full of cold
Hope everyone has a decent night.
Can I join you lovely ladies?
I have just been reading through this thread and I think ds2 is definitely a HN baby and it's good to know I'm not alone!
Looking back dd was a HN baby but I put it down to her being my first and I didn't know what I was doing, I spent most of her first year wearing her in a sling as that's the only time she wasn't screaming!!
Then I had ds1 and he was an amazing baby, hardly cried, slept through 12 hours by 5 months old and was so laid back (and still is at 4 years old)
Now I have ds2 who is now 6 months old and ebf (just started introducing food), he is only happy if being carried on my hip or being bf!! He screams in the car seat, the pram, whenever put down (can now manage a few minutes if entertained), when having to have his coat put on, he screams at anything basically! He doesn't sleep for long day or night and his favourite place to sleep is on me.
I have been just going along with it but am now getting closer to being due back at work and am starting to panic, how will I cope with such little sleep and how will the childminder cope with ds2 all day??
Sorry for such a long first post but wanted to give you all my info and hoping someone can tell me it will all be okay and he will be an angel while I'm at work?!?
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
At work, but just wanted to say a quick welcome to Mummy2BI Come on in for virtual coffee, cake and matchsticks for eyelid propping!
Hi LeClerc, how are things (apart from DS2 not sleeping)? No advice really but at least you're not the only one! <clutches at straws> <gives up> <brews instead>
Welcome Mummy, make yourself at home! I didn't know about HN babies with my first one either, I just thought I was a really awful mum! I'm glad you've had the respite of DS1 in between! When are you going back to work? What do you do?
Nothing new here really - the children are both still a little under the weather and we still have no idea whether it's a cold or impending chicken pox. There's another case of the pox at preschool so I expect DD'll get it at some point this term!
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Hi and thanks for the welcome!
I'm due back at work at the end of march, I work in a school so going back just before Easter (but then I will get the Easter holidays off work) I work 3 days a week but short days so I can be there to drop off and pick up from school. I enjoy my job but I'm really not looking forward to going back.
Well today has been even worse than normal as Ds2 has been screaming even when I was carrying him which is normally when he is happiest! I'm wondering if it could be more teeth on their way? He already has 2 and they caused a very grumpy few weeks!
Hope everyone else is doing ok?
Hello dark-circle eyed friends Friday chocolate fudge cake anyone?
I'm sad today. After 3 weeks of trying to force my boob at DS, I think I have to accept that he doesn't want bfing anymore. I've loved bfing after the initial difficult 12 weeks, and it's such a useful tool for a HN baby. I'll miss it.
Oh little, bless you. Could it be a nursing strike do you think? Have you looked on the Kellymom website for help? (I seem to remember that's a good one). I can't imagine DS ever giving up the boob. It is blimmin useful though.
We had our best night last night since DS has been ill. He went to bed at 8pm and only woke once - at 5.45am - and then was up at 8am. Bliss after the torture of the last few weeks. And much needed after a couple of self-inflicted stupidly late nights playing World of Warcraft with the new MN guild. I never realised quite how many other MNetters play!
Hope you all have a great day.
<stumbles into room too tired to walk but manages a massive bit of yesterday's fudge cake. Still yummy after a minute in the microwave>
Congrats tickle. I am so envious. Let's hope it's just the start of many more amazing sleeps.
Little that is indeed sad. A totally baby-led end to bf though is amazing. I really hope DS decides on his own to stop before I feel the need to encourage him. Can't see it though...
We had one good night last Sunday where he slept 2 hours from first going to bed (amazing) then only woke another 2 times until morning. I can't remember if I posted about this so apologies if I am repeating. Since then the nights have been rubbish. Maybe I'm feeling it more because I allowed myself to get my hopes up? I think nearly a year of this is just taking its toll. We are going to move the big cotbed into our room to see if this helps (we co-sleep but thinking we are too close to each other now DS is bigger, maybe waking each other up?). Still determined not to sleep train till a year old at least, but sick of feeling so fed up and depressed. I know it is just lack of sleep but it's so draining. That's not to say there haven't been improvements over the last few months, there have (longer naps, not so high needs during the day) but finding it difficult to focus on the positive. It is harder to cope during the day even though DS is easier to entertain. DH is making a real effort to be more helpful but just ends up annoying me more, especially at night. Feel like such a bitch <big sigh, sniffle>. Sorry guys. Hope you are all feeling more positive.
Thank you tickle and Night, I am a hormonal mess today! Hope that settles down soon! I think it's gone beyond a nursing strike now. He was mix fed, so I think it's good he's managed this long without expressing a preference for bottles.
Great news on the better sleep tickle. Hope you get some more of those!
Night, when DS turned 12 months, his sleep started to improve drastically. Now he generally only wakes for one resettle and one bottle at about 1 and 5. He's still difficult in the day but not quite as bad. I hope 12m is a magic age for you too!
Little it must be so hard to accept giving up the boob. I remember last time with DS1 I was really reluctant. Dreading it this time too as I know this is definitely the last time. No more DC for us!
I am praying that weaning is going to make a difference for us. You'll probably all dash my hopes! DS2 is 5 months in a few days so not long to wait. He's still feeding every 3 hours 24/7 so I'm hoping a bit of solid food might fill him up a bit more. It's so hard to see an end to all the problems when you're in the middle of it. I feel like he's going to be in my bed with me forever. DH and I still sleeping in different rooms as DH can't cope with the disturbances.
Anyone heard from Joyful recently? I hope she's ok after everything that happened.
<hands out oaty chocolate chip cookies>
It is hard and I've been tempted to try today but I need to let it go really. Hopefully I'll get the chance to do it again, I'd love to ebf next time.
Sadly, weaning didn't help here! I weaned early (DS lost weight at 5 months) but it didn't help sleep. I think it does help loads of people though. DS still fed every hour or 2 until he was over 6 months!
Think I've cursed myself saying he's sleeping better. He's wide awake now and keeps putting his dummy in my mouths and laughing hysterically.
I have seen Joyful in chat. Hopefully she will drop in soon.
That's so cute Little. I suppose a laughing baby is slightly better than a screaming one? Did he go back off in the end? Hope you had a better night than us. We were up from about midnight until 4.30am with alternate eczema itching and blocked nose. I've got family coming over for dinner today too so looking forward to a day of exhaustion <sob>.
Oh no Natmu, that's rubbish Eczema is such a tricky one to manage.
He did go to sleep soon after that...not a case of going back to sleep though, it was when he first went to bed. He continued the theme this morning my 'feeding' me. Mmmm.
I hope you get a better night tonight.
Sorry you've had rough nights ladies. Hope you manage to put your feet up some today.
I spoke to Joyful yesterday, she said to say hello to you all. Things are a little hard at the moment, but she's a strong lady that one, and so I'm sure she'll be back with us soon
I have had a cold now for what feels like forever. It's truly getting on my tits. So full of snot and phlegm, bleh. Have been through so many packs of tissues and am halfway through a box now. DS is over his for the most part though, which is a relief.
Hope you all have good days. It's my birthday tomorrow, and DH made me a video of lots of little clips of DS growing up as part of my gift. It delivered a day early by accident, but it's amazing and I've been all tearful since watching it. How our baby has changed in a few short months...
Happy Birthday for tomorrow Tickle! and Hope you have a lovely day. What a gorgeous thoughtful present!
We've got an appointment with paed on 12th Feb to start the ball rolling about finding out what DS2 might be allergic to. He's definitely having reactions to something. Keeps coming up with great red hives on his neck where his eczema is worst.
Fingers crossed for a better night tonight and to you Little.
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