High Needs Baby Support Group (thread V)

(351 Posts)

A new thread for a new year! smile

The original thread was to support those of us with babies fitting the following criteria:

1. Feeds frequently daytime
2. Feeds frequently nighttime
3. Needs to be constantly held
4. Wont sleep alone
5. Hates the car seat/pram
6. Short naps

Some of our babies have grown out of some of those now, but we're still here to support each other through the sleepless nights and noisy car journeys and to offer hugs, chocolate and wine to anyone who's struggling.

So if that list sounds familiar then come and join us as we delight in our active, inquisitive, curious and restless babies or toddlers!

CabbageHead Tue 12-Mar-13 10:10:34

Hey I hav another idea fr u guys with the bubs that r only in the bathtub... Why don't we go into business designing mini cot waterbeds ! Maybe that would keep em calm and womb like... We could design a black canopy over the Cot that comes with speakers playing continuous womb music and hypnotic subliminal messages such as... 'you must sleep now until mummy comes to wake you zzzz'

I was bored yesterday couldn't face another round f chasing DS around the rooms getting him away from every drawer and cupboard... So we has a massive bath (our bath is really big so is like a pool for him!) together as it was really hot, so a tepid bath to keep cool, and he didn't want to get out cried and carried on like a pork chop little tyke! Kept trying to climb back in.. Cor blimey!

stargirl1701 Sat 16-Mar-13 14:32:29

Hi folks! I hope you're all coping grin

We went to see A Good to Die Hard MXP. It was pretty rubbish. But, it was lovely to go to the cinema and we both stayed awake!!

We've had a very good week this week until yesterday. DD has been super clingy again. DH is currently out driving with her to get her to nap.

Paediatric appt on 3rd of April is getting closer...

Lowesy Sat 16-Mar-13 23:24:59

Hello all, I've just found this thread after lurking for sometime. Wish I'd found it sooner! Just sat and read through the three links in the second post and have sat and cried. It was like reading a profile of my 22mo DD. Am just trying to come to terms with the relief of discovering it isn't my fault and there's nothing 'wrong' with her so feeling incredibly emotional atm but I will read through this thread properly and definitely be back if that's ok!

stargirl1701 Sun 17-Mar-13 08:24:45

Hi Low! Welcome. Please do come back grin

Natmu Sun 17-Mar-13 10:44:52

Hi all, just wondering how you have all found weaning. DS2 is 6.5 months and we've been trying to do weaning for about 6 weeks. He scoffed everything in sight to start with but has completely gone off everything in the past couple of weeks. I'm doing a combination of purees and blw. He went off purée first and is now screaming when he's trying to feed himself as well. He's got a slight cough and cold and has just got his first two teeth. DH thinks this is putting him off his food but I feel like it's been going on for weeks. What do you think? Anyone had a similar experience? Should I just keep offering food at stage 1 times or give up completely?

stargirl1701 Sun 17-Mar-13 13:57:18

DD is 27 weeks. We started weaning at 24 weeks on the advice of a paediatrician through the GP. She has silent reflux. She screams for about an hour after solids. Her lips and tissue around her mouth are blue after swallowing. But, she keeps going...at the moment.

We're having a hell of a day. She's been full on screaming since 11.30pm. I've popped her in her cot to see if she'll settle. I'm downstairs listening to the screaming. Jeez this parenting is bloody tough.

stargirl1701 Sun 17-Mar-13 18:30:52

I'm grumpy. I'm sick of this reflux. I'm sick of not being able to do anything. I'm exhausted. I just want to cry today.

I went to the supermarket to see if she would stop screaming. She didn't. Fucking people. So many comments. I just kept smiling but I so wanted to tell them to fuck off.

MXP78 Sun 17-Mar-13 21:03:04

Oh stargirl, I know how you feel. It just feels like it's never going to end. I said to my DH I'm sick of timing everything around when I think DD will be least likely to have a meltdown E.g. only going for a walk when she's due a sleep, only going for a long trip in the car if she's due a sleep, walking for 40 mins to get her to sleep then running into Costa and scoffing lunch as I know I've only got 30 mins before she wakes up and and cries to get out of the pram and then catapults herself all over my lap so I have to leave. Sigh.

Had a crap week as well. My DH spoke to his Mum and told her I needed some help and asked if she could look after DD for a few hours each week to give me a break. So she very kindly said she could look after her on Tues afternoon. She comes and picks her up and I sit on the couch ready to just relax and watch TV. I've been sitting down for 10 mins and my neighbour knocks on my door to say that someone has just smashed into the back of our parked car and driven off. I go outside and the back is totally smashed in. So I spend the whole afternoon sorting insurance/police and now we have no car! ARGHHHHH.

Natmu I've been really lucky with weaning. We waited until DD was 5.5 months and she eats everything I give her and has continued to. If I were you I'd just keep trying. Especially handing her bits of food to feed herself. Also you don't have to wait until mealtimes to do that. You just need to make sure your LO is sitting up.

Lowesy I've also recently found this thread and felt so relieved I wasn't the only one going through this and it was nothing to do with me!

stargirl1701 Sun 17-Mar-13 23:07:59

Oh MXP! That's awful. What a nightmare. The hassle of it more than anything else!! Will you get a courtesy car from your insurer?

Natmu Mon 18-Mar-13 06:26:32

Thanks MXP. I'm trying really hard not to get stressed by it but I'm so disappointed because I was really looking forward to the excitement of weaning. It's just been awful so far. Though not as awful as your incident with the car. You poor thing. What a nightmare. I can't believe people are so shitty as to just drive off after doing something like that.

CabbageHead Mon 18-Mar-13 09:29:01

Hi everyone

Just trying to sedate the creature and get dindins ready simultaneously...

stargirl what do u mean her lips are blue after eating? From allergy or what? That's horrible! Poor bub! Reflux is such torture for everyone.. DS grew out of his at 6 mths approx but we were still left with the sleeping behavioral issues.. Ongoing although better and better each month, but I still struggle every week trying to settle him.

But that's because I am banging my head against wall with DH and his family, so DS remains in a state of perpetual OT. I know if I could do everything I wanted to do each day (as in not argue abut keeping him up and OT having PIL and DH overstimulation him I know he would be much much easier. It's like each week I work so hard to catch up his sleep so he is happier during day then each week it goes to the pack because of everyone else's agenda...

It's so frustrating but I just have to grin and bear.

Creature still awake... 8.20pm... Cannot calm himself down at all when he is so OT... So annoying cos theni end up PUPD instead of being usual strict mummy settle in cot but if I don't try and wind him down he will be there all night...

(tonight is payback for going over to friends last night nd leaving DS with DH... Even I couldn't get DS to settle for arvo nap today each day losing more and more sleep every week same story drives me insane

Yes DS will be 1yr old next month, I'm still sleep deprived my LO is only one that doesn't STTN, I'm pressured by everyone to give up bf and DH and his family all thik it's my parenting style and refuse to believe its DS temperament.

Tried to settle him for nap at PIL on Sat he tried to leap out of pram... Having FIL playin his ukulele in his face before naptime is really so helpful.(every effing time so effing annoying) they just will not give him space to wind down. Imbeginning to think the entire family are completely stupid...

Crap about car poor you guys just what u don't need... Mxp and natmu.

. Re Weaning been ok here cos greedy so and so... Def off his food when teething though ESP fruit for some bizarre reason... Keep trying diff stuff we have to keep him engaged with other stuff to play with to distract him as always tired or bored when eating!

stargirl1701 Mon 18-Mar-13 14:17:54

Oh god my Dad does daft stuff like that too. A bloody nightmare Cabbage!

The blue lips/mouth is not new. DD had this when bf at the beginning, then when ff later and now with solids. Heart & lungs both checked and are normal. I've to mention it to the paediatrician. We were at the GP again this morning hmm to discuss the poo situation. I've to take samples; oh, what joy grin

MXP, what's happening with the car?

stargirl1701 Tue 19-Mar-13 17:17:27

All the pooing must be taking it out of her. She's had two naps today. This morning - 2 and half hours - and this afternoon - 2 hours. I feel like I'm in The Twilight Zone. This has never happened. Ever. In her entire life.

But, will she sleep tonight? grin

stargirl1701 Tue 19-Mar-13 22:11:18

Ah, yes. Not sleeping...

CabbageHead Wed 20-Mar-13 10:43:54

Wots going o n in the poo sector stargirl? Have I been missing something? And u,d think with all that sleep during day that night must be good u know sleep begets sleep and all that (actually that is really true for our DS, if his day sleeps r bad then night is horrible )

Oh lowesy u r going to feel right at home here...

<offers plate of pikelets overflowing with fake cream and sponges of strawberry jam>

Been in hell here the standing up milestone is killing me slowly... DS cannot keep still at all it's like his electrical circuit is on high and he doesn't know how to switch it off... I have been really struggling to settle him, have to rock him again if there is any possibility of getting him down at reasonable time...

At the moment if I leave the room he just jumps up and then gets all fired up nd goes into hyper OT mode.. Driving me insane... Lots of tears of frustration (me not him!!!) sigh.... I just have to be so patient which I did today but only cos I had 4hrs sleep in one hit YAY!!!!

I'm getting pretty over this now at 11mths.. Today I was saying the mantra...'this too will pass....'

MXP78 Wed 20-Mar-13 17:36:38

Hi all,

Nothing happening with the car so far. Police done nothing, garage haven't phoned me back to say how long it will take to get fixed. ARGHHHH. My insurance company said that the driver hasn't reported the incident to his insurance company. I said "Duh, he drove off, that doesn't surprise me!". So carless in this pants weather!

I went to a friends today and someone offered me a lift. Anxiety about DD screaming in the car seat kicks in. SHe was okayish on the way there. Started crying 5 mins before we got there. But cried all the way home. I was relying on someone to give me a lift home so had to wait until they were ready. She was so tired and they were like "Oh she'll fall asleep in the car". I was thinking, clearly you haven't met my DD!.

cabbage I know it's not funny but I could not stop laughing when reading your FIL ukelele story. ARE YOU SERIOUS? People have no idea. And don't give up breastfeeding if you don't want to. Your baby is not like that because of breastfeeding. I'm still BF and not giving up until I want to. Couldn't give a rats what anyone else says! (DD is only 9mths, please don't have visions of me bfing a teenager! ha hah )

Stargirl good luck on those samples! What's up with the poo anyway? Do they think it's related to the reflux?

Lowesy Sat 23-Mar-13 12:50:05

Hi folks thanks for the welcome smile

Re weaning, my DD was pretty good. We went down the puree route which seemed to work really well. DD had reflux so giving her stuff like baby rice really helped plus because you mixed it up with her comfort milk (ff) it was a familiar taste. However, now at 22mo she's decided food is vile, poisonous and evil hmm

It's very stressful atm she has approximately 10 different things she will eat. And there is no consistency, I.e it's not chewy food she doesn't like because one of the things on her list that she will eat is pickled red cabbage! But she won't eat meat because it's too much effort to chew! This is meat out of the slow cooker peeps so lovely and meltingly soft!! And it's not strong flavours she's averse to - I draw your attention back to exhibit A the pickled cabbage!!!

Oh and add to that absolutely NO breakfast food. No toast, no cereal, no eggs, no croissants, no fruit. NOTHING. And she gets so stressed out if you offer her more food if she's decided she's finished or if you offer her something she's decided is horrid not having tried it. It's like she's afraid of food some days. Have been using doctor google and reading lots on food neophobia in toddlers. It's something "she will grow out of". Fab. Still waiting for her to grow out of waking up at night tbf :D

MXP78 - feel your pain re car journeys. DD wants someone in the back with her and never sleeps in the car. Am looking into buying her a dvd player so Peppa Pig can keep her company on the 15 mins max journeys I do with her!

Can I join you all? DS was massively high needs and still is but so much better than he was due to being able to move around since he started walking and little things I have learned along the way which seem to have chilled him out. I feel for those of you still in the early stages, hope it gets easier for you soon

Really struggling with sleep at the moment. Do all your LOs struggle to sleep more than an hour at night too?!

MXP78 Sun 24-Mar-13 18:23:45

Hi moresnowplease, I'm glad you've said your LO is better now he's walking. I'm desperate for my DD to walk as I also think she'll be much happier. She just seems permanently frustrated that she can't get to things and I don't know if she'll figure out crawling as doesn't have the patience! My DD was a terrible sleeper and used to wake up nearly every hour. But she's much better now.

Lowesy can't believe pickled cabbage is one of the things your DD will eat! My LO is the same with offering food once she's decided she's finished. She'll be eating away happily then next second screaming and squealing and starting to cry and whacking the spoon away. There is no warning!

Had a pretty bad week last week. DD's squealing is out of control. I went to a friends house and she kept squealing and scared the other babies. One of them cried as they crawled up to her and she screamed in their face. I was only there for about 45 minutes and then had to go as she started to meltdown. Meanwhile the other 3 babies just played on the floor the whole time. sigh. The only way to stop her melting down is to get up and walk around the house with her. I didn't know the person that well so couldn't do that so just had to leave. Imagine if I'd said "sorry, I'm going to have to go upstairs and walk around your bedroom!"

stargirl1701 Tue 26-Mar-13 12:48:19

Hi folks. Well it's been an eventful few days. We ended up in A&E with DD as she had a temp of 39.1 degrees. They were able to access the test results and it turns out she has a gastrointestinal virus called adenovirus. Poo has abated somewhat now thank goodness.

I think she must be feeling better as normal service has resumed here. She was up constantly crying last night till we gave her Calpol at midnight and she slept till 2am. Totally refusing to nap today. I've just had an hour and half of screaming while rubbing her bloody eyes. Just go to sleep!!!!!

Lowesy Tue 26-Mar-13 15:52:04

Hi stargirl, hope your DD is feeling better soon. Have just had the same thing re sleep - my DD woke up mid nap and refused to go back to sleep as I had the audacity to be on the phone when she woke up. Have laid with her and cuddled her for another 40 mins but despite being exhausted, once she's up, she's up. I predict a fun dinner and bath time!!

Am finding DD's persistent nature to be a massive challenge the past couple of days. She will go on and on and on saying the same thing for ages even if she's been given an answer or even ignored. Just does not let up. Latest thing was being told that the pc was switched off at my Mum's house so she couldn't watch Peppa on youtube. Cue her crying for half an hour saying over and over "it's broken, it's broken" despite being told that it wasn't and that she could watch Peppa later. Then when you thought you'd distracted her, she'd remember and start up again. Exhausting!

Lowesy Tue 26-Mar-13 15:52:04

Hi stargirl, hope your DD is feeling better soon. Have just had the same thing re sleep - my DD woke up mid nap and refused to go back to sleep as I had the audacity to be on the phone when she woke up. Have laid with her and cuddled her for another 40 mins but despite being exhausted, once she's up, she's up. I predict a fun dinner and bath time!!

Am finding DD's persistent nature to be a massive challenge the past couple of days. She will go on and on and on saying the same thing for ages even if she's been given an answer or even ignored. Just does not let up. Latest thing was being told that the pc was switched off at my Mum's house so she couldn't watch Peppa on youtube. Cue her crying for half an hour saying over and over "it's broken, it's broken" despite being told that it wasn't and that she could watch Peppa later. Then when you thought you'd distracted her, she'd remember and start up again. Exhausting!

mxp how old is your LO?showing signs of walking soon?hope it's the same for you, it's totally chilled DS out and he's gone from needing to be held constantly to wanting to be put down to wonder around and play on his own, shocking!

stargirl hope your DD is better now? Ds had a bug like that a few weeks ago, was hell!

lowesy sounds like hard work!how old is your LO?

Lowesy Tue 26-Mar-13 17:22:54

Snow, she's 22 months old. I'm sure the majority of it is just toddlerhood as toddlers do do this but when it's all day every day it does get a bit tiresome! Does anyone else feel like they're just repeating themselves over and over?! It's got to the point that if DH asks me to repeat something I get really stroppy and just can't be bothered blush

Lowesy Tue 26-Mar-13 17:22:54

Snow, she's 22 months old. I'm sure the majority of it is just toddlerhood as toddlers do do this but when it's all day every day it does get a bit tiresome! Does anyone else feel like they're just repeating themselves over and over?! It's got to the point that if DH asks me to repeat something I get really stroppy and just can't be bothered blush

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