Neighbour shouts "Shut that baby up" every time I try to resist night feeding and cuddle her to sleep. Now what?

[Tinker]

Quite clearly, I live next door to a moron. Last night involved banging on the walls as well. So, any tips on what to do now?

He has his own child and his partner is a chilminder...

[EvesMama]

report him for noise pollution..tell them you just get the baby settled and he bangs on your walls and shouts..hes an idiot

[Freckle]

Could you speak to his partner? Move baby to a room further away from the adjoinging walls? Although I don't see why you should have to. He clearly is a moronic *rse. Next time, yell back that he is making more noise than she is.

[WigWamBam]

I'd shout back "My baby is screaming and being vile because he's a baby ... what's your effing excuse?".

[cece]

I would complain to his partner that his banging and shouting is disturbing you and the baby!

[LadySherlockofLGJ]

Wait until they are asleep and bang on the wall and shout shut up with that snoring.

[LadySherlockofLGJ]

at WWB

[milward]

how awful - how much noise do you have to put up with the childminding plus their kid?

[Tinker]

Can't move the baby, she's in our room , her sister (who doesn't wake up) is in the other one. Feel murderously violent towards him but need to, eventually, sell the house and I would have to declare that I'd murdered him.

We were just getting her sttled and his shouting woke her up...

[Tinker]

Don't feel particularly inclined to discuss with his partner, after all she's not stopping him. Lots of noise from the childminding and an inanely barking dog.

[Piffle]

Write a polite note explaining that you happen to really enjoy listening to your baby crying every night and are pricking her with pins ot enhance the experience....
Seriously, a note explaiing that you are trying to settle her without feeding and it may take a few days/weeks/months/years and you realise its thin walls but it's the ends to mutually fulfilling needs
And then say, of course I do not shout and bang when I hear you guys shagging, so spare us...

[EvesMama]

go round and speak to him, he'll prob s**t himself..say youre very sorry that your babies night time cries can be heard and are disturbing him, its terrible having such thin walls cos you here 'everything'in both households(meaning you hear his house noise too)and tell him you will try and work out a way of shushing your baby if he would be as so kind as to 'not' hammer on the walls as this then makes baby worse and is helping no one....

then come home with a smug smile on your face knowing that you dont have to declare any neighbourly disputes when you sell and the f*k wit will be gobsmacked by the conversation as he obviously only uses his lungs and fists not his brain!

[OddOneOut]

go round when he is out and his partner is at home, say that you just wanted to let them know that you are trying to settle the baby at night and not immediately rushing to her when she cries etc, apologise for any inconvinience it may cause. she will no doubt relay this to her partner. who hopefully will stop banging on the wall.

[milward]

agree with talking to them - if no joy - & you hear their bedroom noise - shout & bang!!

[FairyMum]

I would completely ignore him.

[Pinotmum]

I wouldn't bother speaking to them. If they have a problem they should come and speak to you. If can move to the sofa if it gets too bad can't he. He's just a "bloke" who gets irritatble when he's tired a bit like a baby! He probably forgets baout it the next day otherwise he'd have knocked. I bet his partner is embarrassed and tries to get him to "shut up" to no avail. Maybe she'll smother him with a pillow and solve his problem .

[ssd]

Tell them the walls are thin and you can hear everything they do too............, might embarass them into quitting this.

They sound like a couple of arses.

[Marina]

I think lockets' point is especially valid tinker, she can't be much of a childminder if she doesn't tell him to stop harassing you this way. Is there anyway you could either appeal to her supposed child-centred professional pride, or if all else fails, ring the Council's Childrens' Info Service or even Ofsted...or let it be known that you will. Surely if she is registered and he is resident this is relevant.
I am really sorry to hear this. I am quite disturbed by the idea that they look after other people's children and have such a short fuse with your dd2. Not to mention extremely for you...:(

[EvesMama]

if she is really so short tempered with children when noisy etc, i d be having a chat with ofsted!

[shimmy21]

I agree with everything you have all said, but just to look at it from another point of view here...

perhaps he hears your baby crying every night and thinks that you are neglecting it

perhaps he has never heard of sleep training and doesn't understand why you seem to be ignoring your dd

perhaps the best approach is to explain exactly what you're doing and why and that it is a temporary phase

No excuse for his awful behaviour but I'm just saying it could sound different from his side of the wall.

[oliveoil]

I would call round and politely explain that you are trying to sort out the night times and he isn't helping, as others have said.

Most bullies do not like face to face and prefer to hide behind walls.

We have a newborn on one side and the cast of Shameless (it seems) on the other so it can be annoying when you hear noise in the middle of the night. Banging on the walls solves nothing however.

lol at WWB!

[MeAndMyBoy]

Oh Tinker I so feel for you - we had the same with our stupid neighbour too. Yes I agree murdering him might dent the saleabilty of your home - but might be quite satisfying at this present moment in time. I could have quite happily thumped her as well.

Our idiot neighbour and her 15 yr old son hammered on the wall during the day and night about DS crying.

DH went to talk to her about it and her complaint was that we left him crying constantly he was 8mths old and teething - DH agreed with her that we both keep a night crying diary and compare notes a week later - needless to say nothing was ever said or done again.

Why do people feel that this kind of behaviour is acceptable or even appropriate?

[Marina]

We have neighbours who unfailingly ask if dd is all right the morning after any shoutyfests, but they dote on her generally, so I keep muttering the mantra "they mean it kindly" under my breath.

[Tinker]

Thanks everyone. It had occurred to me that they (he) think we are leaving her to cry but I'm holding her in my arms - she wants milk! Wouldn't dare mention that to him, am sure he'd be of the "That's disgustinhg" school.

My partner says to ignore him (especially when I carried the baby to stand nearer the wall last night - she had, ironically, stopped at that point)

I have thought about reporting to Ofsted because although she is ok and, I think, an ok childminder, he does come home when there are kids there. My eldest soemtimes plays there (she has older children) and my eldest does says that he's grumpy when he comes home and doesn't like kids in the house etc. Would be horrified if I thought my childminder's husband was like this this. But they would know it was me. Have thought about doing it when we eventually move but will be so glad to have got away by then.

Can't face speaking them, don't think I'd be able to control my emotions, makes me feel weepy tbh. I'm sure he doesn't remember too much in teh morning. He has said (before teh shouting started) "Oh here's the baby who keepe me awake, ah she's beautiful etc. I've had to buy earplugs" To which I've said "Well, at least you can use them"

Feel very powerless. He did it a few times when I was on my own with my first (single parent then). Thought he might have grown up a bit since then...

A polite note is the mature thing to do but...

[Tinker]

OO - they are the cast of Shameless. I've caught him weeing in his own front garden.