What's up with my baby - if anything?

[Orenishii]

My baby is 4 weeks old, and we're all still finding our feet so if this is all just normal baby behaviour, I'm happy with that :)

We EBF and co sleep and are very relaxed about keeping him with us in the evening and taking him up when we go up. I have started introducing sleep routine cues - bath, massage, pj's, feed but then will keep him in my arms or tuck him up on the sofa next to me of an evening. He will sleep like a little silent open mouthed angel from about 6 or 7pm, then wake around 10 for a period of cluster feeds. However when we go upstairs to our bed or the bedside cot, he suddenly becomes - seemingly - uncomfortable: fussing, wheezing, grunting, kicking legs, wriggling, and getting into a pattern of not drifting off until it gets close to his 2.30/3.30am feed.

I can't see what the difference is for him beside me on the sofa when he seems so peaceful, and upstairs when he seems so unrelaxed. We've tried pre-heating the room and not doing so, gro bags and cellular blankets, night lights and complete darkness, projected moving images with music and silence. I feed him and can lay him next to me on the sofa asleep, and then feed him upstairs - he'll drift off in my arms but wake when I put him down.

Is there something wrong or is it ok to let him fuss to himself? If he's ok i can relax and sleep, but right i'm not really getting much sleep until after his middle of the night feed because i'm too worried he is distressed! Given his next feed will be 7am, i'm averaging about 4 hours a night right now. He doesn't cry...just fusses about and i've no idea if actually he's alright or not.

Thanks in advance for any thoughts or advice!

[gingercats]

Hmmm, not sure. The wheezing is the only thing I would question. No harm in speaking to HV &/or GP. Sounds like you are doing a great job. I am a bit of a panicker & find a monitor with motion sensor really helps me sleep. I think most small babies struggle to sleep alone, he prob just prefers being in ur arms? Bear with it, he will sleep better soon. At around 6 weeks DD would only sleep on my chest. Needless to say I was a total zombie!
Just a thought. Do u have Tele on when downstairs? Could it be noise he likes? Maybe try white noise upstairs? Rain sounds are good.

[OverlyWordyHurdyGurdy]

It's more likely to be to do with the time than the change of location. Newborns are programmed to want to feed more frequently during the night, and your milk-producing hormone levels are higher then. Have you tried feeding him? It's unusual for a four week old to have a feeding routine as defined as the one you describe.

[Orenishii]

gingercats we do have the tv on and I wondered about that. Will try a white noise cd, thanks!

overly, hahaha his feeding is so not defined, except by him ;) i'm completely led by him. Last night he fed at 6, slept next to me until 9, then cluster fed on and off until 12. We went up to bed, I fed him until he rolled off the nipple seemingly asleep. I winded him, got some sleepy burps and put him down. By this time it was getting past 1am. Soon as he was down, the restlessness started. I stayed awake until 2.30 when he indicated wanting to feed, he fed for 30 mins, we both the slept until 5 until another feed the awake at 7 for feeding and general waking up time.

I just don't get how early evening i can lay him down next to me after a feed and he's spark out, and later feed him, lay him in the bedside cot right next to me and all the fussing starts. Should i just leave him be and get myself some shut eye?

[blonderthanred]

Sounds exactly like my 4 week old!

I got a Ewan the Dream Sheep, as recommended by the excellent women on the night feed support thread. It's early days but we have managed a couple of short but successful early sleeps so far (we have a bednest attached to the bed). Still have a long period of the night when he is awake and we are having some possible colic/reflux issues but it's a start.

[OverlyWordyHurdyGurdy]

Ah, so we're talking about a newborn's routine of 'I think it went a little bit like this yesterday but will probably be totally different tonight', eh? I know that one well :o.

[Orenishii]

That's the th

[Orenishii]

Gah, new phone and posted too soon!

That's the thing, I have no confidence in reading his cues. I keep thinking he is in pain or distressed and I just get anxious, and end up staying awake. If its really just normal behaviour and he's ok - just a bit noisy and restless/ non sleeping at that time, that's totally ok - I can relax and try and sleep through it. I've never had a baby before, I don't really know what I'm doing or what they do :(

[blonderthanred]

Sorry I know this is no help but what you said sounds exactly like what runs through my head all the time. Which hopefully means that we're both normal right?!

[feekerry]

Okay op, you sound like your doing great! My dd is now 8 months and we did like you, totally baby led in every way. I have to say tho i never realised how noisy sleepers babies were!!!! My god my dd grunted, thrashed, farted, whimpered all night long. But it does pass. I think my dd was worse between 4-10 weeks. Now at 8 months she's a brilliant sleeper. Just go with it. Before you know it another phase will start it will get better x

[Orenishii]

Thanks so much...really appreciate all of the replies. I am sure I sound - or actually am! - a neurotic new mother :) Thank you for the support, reassurance and boosting. I guess it's just normal baby stuff and like you say feekerry, just go with it :)

blonder I think we're both pretty normal and doing OK, by the sounds of things