10 week old baby waking every hour from 3am/4am onwards - nnnng!

(20 Posts)
MockTudor Tue 13-Nov-12 07:07:33

Unfortunately, all I can offer is sympathy as my 12-week-old DD is the same. She's never been a great sleeper, although is vastly improved from four weeks ago. She current does around 7.30pm-12pm (with a dream feed or more awake feed at about 9pm, although I suspect she'd do close to this anyway without it!) and then another 2-2.5 hours until around 3.30am. After that, she seems to go down for about 20 minutes before waking up thrashing and wriggling. She is EBF and can't self-settle. At the moment, DH takes her downstairs for an hour or so at 4.30am to give me a break. She had just started being able to be put back in her crib asleep afterwards for another half an hour or so, meaning I get a good couple of hours sleep.

DD seems to have a naturally early bed time of around 7-7.30, so I wonder if that is why she starts to wake as she approaches the last few hours of the night. The best advice I was given on here, when I posted about previous sleep problems, was just to go to bed as early as possible. We've moved our bedtime to about 8.30pm, so we at least get a chunk of sleep before the small hours.

I'm also keeping a diary of when she naps, trying to make sure there is no more than 2.5 hours maximum between them. It may be coincidence, but the best nights we've had have followed days where we've been strict with naps in terms of the gap between them.

I'm not sure any of that is particularly helpful but I so sympathise! It feels so lonely in those small hours and on very bad nights, I do feel despair at seeing my sleep slipping away from me. I do try to take heart from the way DD has improved from 8-weeks, where she woke every 20-40 minutes throughout the entire night, and hope that things will continue to improve. Fingers crossed for everyone!

BabbityBunny Mon 12-Nov-12 15:09:47

Hi stroppyjock and lucylookout
Seems you are after the same as me - a follow-up to the OP with reassurance about when it might end! My DS is 11 weeks and feeding every 2-3 hours round the clock which is bearable except between 3 and 7 am where he's hard to re-settle and ends up in bed with me or snoozing in my arms... Or he lies beside me and giggles while I pretend to be somewhere else! He's not great at self-settling and won't nap at home without a dummy or for more than about 40 mins. But he does do reasonable dummy-free stretches from 7-10/11ish and then again until 1 or 2. Then from 3 or 4 he's pretty unsettled. I have tried swaddling, formula etc but I think he's just ready to wake up early. My first DD was a terrible sleeper so I can take the long view! But wondering when this particular habit starts to wane?
Thanks

lucylookout Sat 29-Sep-12 10:27:37

Hi stroppyjock I wanted to commiserate with you and am also in need of any experiences that will reassure me that this will end (and soon preferably). Ds is almost 11 weeks old. From about 5 weeks he started grunting from about 2am, trying to get farts/poos out and sleeping very little. He also started to develop reflux symptoms. I gave up dairy and eggs and 8 days later the reflux symptoms disappeared. However, the night wakings stayed the same. We had two 'good' nights during the week when he woke for two feeds between dream feed and 5, then from 5 on he was pretty much awake. The last two nights though have been as bad as they ever were, df at 10.30, up at 12.30, 2.20, 4 and 5.40, and being awake each time for about half an hour after feeding. He seems so uncomfortable, pulling knees up to chest, straining and crying. He's EBF (and I'm dairy/eggs free) and I do loads of anti colic tummy massages daily. Does anyone have any ideas? I can't even have a coffee to cheer/wake myself up!

Stroppyjock Fri 28-Sep-12 06:39:53

My 14 week old settles at 7pm, dream feeds at 10pm, grizzles/chunters/cries from 3 am until 6 am. I have to keep putting her dummy in or bring her into bed with me. She is fully able to self settle as she does it at all other times, she just won't do it in the early hours. She doesn't fully settle unless I bring her into bed with me or until her 6 am feed. After 6 am she's happy to sleep until almost her next feed. Not sure if this is developmental or if I can change her nap times/feed times to deal with it.

katherine2008 Thu 29-Dec-11 12:03:40

Hi all, my 8 week old never self settles - has a bed time now of about 9.30pm - we feed at 8pm and by the time he's properly asleep it's 9.30pm. He then takes a dream feed at about 10.30pm and sleeps til 3am for another bottle. Then he won't settle again (asleep or otherwise) in cot so sleeps on/next to me. Getting tired now - especially with a 3 year old in the next room! When will it end (stupid question - I'm sure DD1 was the same!).

lookout Thu 22-Dec-11 12:39:18

OP, ds2 (10 weeks) won't self settle at all, ever. He needs some kind of intervention, cuddling, feeding, rocking or humming. Once down in the evening he sleeps for a five hour stretch, but at all other times - naps and night feeds - he either won't settle and whinges and grunts and writhes around, or wakes after about 20 minutes. It's driving me mad in the wee small hours especially, for some reason after that 3am night feeds he just can't settle sad.

ChipsnCheese Wed 14-Dec-11 17:07:48

Hello - my DD (about 14 wks) will settle no probs for naps and at bedtime - and will settle after a feed - every bloody hour from 1-6am). But when she wakes she won't just self settle without feeding. perhaps we need some cc, but seems mean as she does self settle - just wakes all the time!

OovoofWelcome Sat 10-Dec-11 21:31:47

Hello, I wrote the OP about a month ago and DS is now 14 weeks. He still wakes up in the early hours and writhes and chats and grizzles and laughs, but not so often. We haven't changed anything, I think he's just developing on his own. His sleep is still broken by at least 2 feeds a night, and he doesn't self-settle, but I feel that things are slowly changing.

For instance I used to always feed him to sleep but now he will drop off being rocked.....I am using the 'gradual retreat' method and will hopefully be able to pat and shush him to sleep in his cot as the next stage.

I wonder if the early wakings are due to an inability to self-settle, stemming from sleep associations like feeding to sleep? Therefore during really light sleep they just thrash and chatter because they cannot self-settle....

Do any of you have babies who can self-settle earlier in the night or for naps, but still they wake and chirrup incessantly?

loisandeviesmum Sat 10-Dec-11 17:21:27

We are having the same with one of our 6wk old twins. DD seems to have turned day into night despite constant attempts to keep her awake to play and have some time with her sister. Then she's up for hours in the middle of the night. Part of it is colic but I think part of it is she wants to play. Any ideas on how to change the pattern? Not going to co-bed as I'm scared I'll never get her out!!

lookout Fri 09-Dec-11 09:52:00

cressida, thanks for your post. It is comforting to know other people are going through it too! I can't co-sleep - I don't really know how and I have visions about never getting him into his own bed. However last night, he slept on my chest in my bed, I was propped up by pillow and dozed on and off for an hour. Not great but better than listening to the grunting/wriggling/whinging that we've had the last 8 weeks! I'm hanging in there and hoping with all my heart that it'll get better before I lose my mind!!

Cressida1979 Thu 08-Dec-11 23:01:41

lookout I know exactly what you mean about being stressed and feeling low about this, there's something particularly bad about been awake and frustrated in the dead of night. I would feel like I was the only person having these problems and would often cry with my DD! I hope things improve for you soon.

Cressida1979 Thu 08-Dec-11 22:56:35

Argh, stupid phone posted too soon! Anyway, my DD is like this too, she is 8 weeks now and she started getting very noisy and restless from 3 or 4am when she was about 5 weeks. We now co sleep, not for everyone but she now settles much better and we both get more sleep. Also, I realised she was getting cold as the temperature in the room really drops in the middle of the night, so I'm adding and extra layer of clothing when I feed her at 2am which is a bit of a Faff but has made a difference as I think she thrashed around in her sleep when she's trying to get warm.

I make sure she has all her daytime naps in her cot so she is used to that as well as the co sleeping. My DP has kindly moved to the sofa bed to give us space to co sleep but I don't want him to be exiled for more than a couple of months!!

Cressida1979 Thu 08-Dec-11 22:47:36

I have exactly the same thing with my 8 week

lookout Thu 08-Dec-11 10:34:41

Another one with the same problem. Ds2 is 8 weeks and sleeps from 8.30 til anywhere between 12 and 2am, then has a bottle of ebm with dh and sleeps again until between 2am and 4am. I can't get him to sleep after I feed him and it's really stressing me out. Am tired and irritable with dh and ds1 and feel completely unable to cope [sad[

scottygirl5 Tue 06-Dec-11 13:55:03

I'm also interested to know what happened. My DD is nearly 13 weeks and goes down about 8.30 and tends to feed sometime between 12-2 and then again between 3.30-5 and since we have got her into her crib 10 days ago she no longer goes back to sleep after the second feed. She sometimes just chunters away to herself (loudly!), sometimes cries and sometimes dozes and bit on and off - no idea how to get her to sleep again after that feed and would love to know how people manage it.

Conkers32 Tue 06-Dec-11 13:32:13

Hi ladies, I noticed this thread is about a month old, so I wondered what has happened with regard to your DCs waking? My DD is 11 weeks old and sleeps well between 7/8pm - 3/4am (with 1-2 feeds in this time), but then wakes every hour until 8am! Am wondering if this is just a developmental thing or growth spurt or if it's going to be a problem! Thanks.

Mummykh Sat 12-Nov-11 19:53:44

Hopefully it will just be a sleeping phase and will pass have you mentioned it to your health visitor maybe they will have some suggestions to help?

Growth spurts, my little one has had quite a few he's over double his birth weight now, breast feeding was really hard during them some days it was like he'd be feeding all day every half an hour or less, I was sad that I had to stop feeding him I felt like I had failed as I was determined to bf, but he wasn't happy so so hungry bless, he's more settled now has a little reflux so gets upset a lot but we have gaviscon to help.

People keep saying babies settle after 3 months and sleeping gets better. It has got better the last few weeks for us so hopefully in a few weeks your little one will sleep better too

OovoofWelcome Sat 12-Nov-11 17:03:42

Thanks for your reply Mummykh - yes sleeplessness becomes all you think about doesn't it? The worry that it will continue and that you'll feel broken by it all the time.....

DS is mixed fed, he has one bottle of formula in the evening (DH feeds him) and the rest of the time breast feeding. Bf was really arduous for about 6 weeks - sometimes during growth spurts he'd feed 20 times in 24 hours!! - but it's less crazy now. I just wish he would sleep in chunks in the early hours; even if he woke up every 2 hours it would feel like a blessing during that bit of the night!

Am being v grumpy and irrational with DH today but fatigue seems to bend the brain.....

Mummykh Sat 12-Nov-11 14:20:09

Hello, my little one does something similar but not every night he's 13 wks and wakes around 5am and thinks it's time to play, sometimes he has a little wind that takes ages to come up or I may have to rock him to sleep but he will then only sleep for half an hour and it's time to get up. I think he does this when he has had too much sleep during the day, especially evening? So I'm keeping an eye on his nap times. I'm bottle feeding but did breast feed for 7 weeks and had to stop as he was so hungry and restless. He would eat for 45 mins every two hours all day and night so I can sympathise with your tiredness, i couldn't sleep in the day or early evening either, it's like sleep becomes an obssession.

OovoofWelcome Sat 12-Nov-11 12:07:22

DS goes to sleep between 8.30 pm and 9.30 pm, and sleeps about 3 to 4 hours (I usually have to settle him at least once first). After a feed he will go back to sleep in his cot, but from 3ish onwards he is pretty much awake, quacking and writhing around. I usually bring him into bed with me at this point and we co-sleep on our sides - but increasingly I find this position painful (weirdly achey hips) and I get hardly any sleep anyway, what with his squirming and talking.

I try winding him, changing his nappy, feeding him whenever he will accept the boob - doesn't help. I'm so knackered that I am beginning to feel really low and anxious - me and DH are snapping at each other and arguing a lot....I feel at the end of my tether :-(

He is such a gorgeous little boy and on the rare days I feel slightly more rested I'm really happy. But exhaustion seems to be taking me over and my thoughts are so fragmented and negative.

He only naps in the day if in the buggy/sling so I can't catch up on sleep then....and I can't seem to fall asleep when he does in the evening - last night I couldn't sleep until about 1 am because I felt so wound up.

DH is looking after him now but again I am too agitated and upset to relax :-(

Any advice or sympathy from any of you who are going through this or have come out the other side appreciated! All the refreshed and cheerful mums at the baby groups I go to all seem to have sleepy cooperative kids!

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