You know you're sleep deprived when...

[LoobyLou33]

You know you're sleep deprived when... (just for fun)

What are some of the strange and funny things that happen when you suffer a serious lack of Zzzzs? Please share! Here are a few of my experiences to start us off, thought it might give us something to chuckle at through the bleary small hours...

(You will spot a theme in these first few!)

1. You stir in the night and mistake DH / the teddy / the pillow for your baby. Sometimes you 'see' baby's face superimposed on them.
   

1. Still asleep yourself, You wake DH in the night yelling 'where's the baby?' DH points out he's in the moses basket where he always was
   

1. You have kafka-esque dreams including one about talking to a random man, then suddenly becoming aware you have been unwittingly breast-feeding him for the past half an hour.
   

1. You trail off in conversation, unable to finish a sentence, because you can't remember the necessary word.
   

1. You feel like getting out the bubbly because DC has let you sleep till 430am.
   

1. You stare and stare at the clock but your eyes are so bleary all you can make out is 8888.
   

1. You wonder why the last load of washing isn't very clean, then realise you forgot to put any soap in (DH actually did this not me!)
   

1. It's breakfast time and you've already eaten 4 cereal bars from the snack-stash.
   

1. You confuse your friend's name with her daughter's.
   

10. You nod off in the time it takes facebook to load a page.

[wonka]

You put the coffee jar in the fridge and still haven't found the milk.
Its only 6.30 and you're on your second load of washing

[Zimm]

The bathroom floor looks to be an inviting place for a nap.

[PukeyRag]

Yes - I've done the 'where's the baby?!' thing (she was sleeping in my arms) and a few others.

Also - going to put a dirty nappy in the fridge.
And completely missing handles/kettle switch/things you're trying to pick up.

[beachavendrea]

i swear in the first few weeks on ds's life i had sound hallucinations. Does this make sense? basically I heard a loud scream when i was drifting off to sleep once and my dh didn't. It was freaky.

I would also walk into loads of furniture and totally forget and then the next day say to my mum 'where did i get that bruise from?'

[BellaBearisWideAwake]

It takes you five goes to do up the poppers on the babygro

[3littlefrogs]

You push the pram all the way to the post office, then realise you are still wearing your slippers and your top is on inside out.

[3littlefrogs]

Only realised about the slippers because the snow was making my feet wet.

[sunshineatlast]

Your sister phones for a chat a refers to a recent conversation you have no recollection of at all.

[sunshineatlast]

and

[Pussinflatboots]

I woke in a panic and asked dh who the baby in the cot was. It was dd, but I was convinced she was asleep on me - could really feel her. Not surprising as that's where she spent much of her first weeks!

[BlackSwan]

everyone on tv starts to look strange, like pixies. Mindy you, when I was at my most sleep deprived 'Lark Rise to Candleford' was on and they all did look like pixies.

OP, so glad you mentioned the baby's face superimposed on your DH's. THought I was totally nuts for doing that.

[lukewarmmama]

You look down and you've put cat food in the bowl you were intending for cereal. Then you sort it all out and go to put the cereal in the fridge.

And mine are 3 and 2 yrs old, and sleep relatively well! I think it must be cumulative or I'm losing it

[lukewarmmama]

Yes, I've done the hallucinating thing as well. In dd1's first weeks I could swear I could hear a baby crying, and kept making dh go and check, even though the monitor was right next to me and working fine. Blooming hormones and lack of sleep.

[KirstyJC]

You sit there rocking gently when you're not actually holding the baby.

You wake up convinced he is in the bed and you fell asleep feeding him, then panic when you can't find him. (he was in his basket as usual).

You lose all word-finding capabilities and then shout at your DH because he doesn't understand what you mean when you ask him to put the thingy over there on top of the wotsit and pass the other thingy here. No, not that one - that thing over there. THERE!!! (points furiously across the room).

[SpookyMadMummy]

you tell passing traffic to sshhhhh.... and you tell the dog, and the tv...... and so on.... but not actual people.

[marzipanlover]

You realise you haven't washed your hair for a week.

You tell everyone how pleased you are that your baby woke up at 3am instead of 2am.

You eat an obscene amount of chocolate, mainly between the hours of 1 and 5am.

You wear creased, un ironed clothes inside out and don't care that people notice.

[LoobyLou33]

Kirsty, I have exactly the same experience as you thinking I've fallen asleep feeding him and he's under the covers...so bizarre! Happens nearly every night.

Glad I'm not the only one having borderline hallucinations!

[KirstyJC]

LoobyLou33 - Yup it's weird isn't it! I've even stopped dressing him in his white sleepsuits when we have our white bedding on, as I used to think he was in there somewhere and I just couldn't see him....lifting up pillows and panicking and so on . Sounds really bizarre when I type it out now but seems perfectly logical at 3am!!

[JoleneJoleneJoleneJoleeene]

You see chimpanzees driving cars and you mainline tea and cake. You feel tired to walk half a mile to the clinic and take the car instead.

[BerylOfLaughs]

You don't realise you've picked up the iron the wrong way until you flinch and drop it and find most of the skin of your thumb went with it.

[TheresAHuppoInMyHouse]

Looking at the full bath and wondering if you've just got out of it, or if you're just about to get in it ...

[PukeyRag]

Going to use your clubcard in a self service machine, shouting at it when it doesn't scan, then realising you're actually in morrisons, not tesco...

[unclefest]

you put cat crunchies in the washing powder drawer....

[TheresAHuppoInMyHouse]

Unclefest!

And Pukey, yours has just reminded me - trying to use my work pass instead of my oystercard on the underground - then going up to the attendant to complain that I had to 'seek assistance' when it had plenty of money on it. He gave me a sympathetic/pitying look, kindly managing to refrain from laughing.

[unclefest]

and my poor Mum after my sister was born, making nourishing bone broth, then sieving out the nutritious broth down the sink and being left with a sieveful of manky lamb bones