At one of her homes with Liz 'I'm broke' Jones and her mythical friends, including the ones who aren't her friends anymore, on her Prada inspired Island where pubes are banned and eating is disordered

(197 Posts)
cario Mon 09-Jan-12 12:44:01

OK, the thread on 'chat' has expired and we can't really stretch the whole 'who is the RS' thing any further as we're already pretty sure it's a mythical entity. Once she'd found out she'd been busted re the 'married man in S America' hallucination, Liz Jones has been busy practicing backpedalling as fast as her hairy little Prada enclosed legs will go so herewith a new thread, to enable a) us to continue marvelling at her audacity and self obsession (aka taking the piss) and b) continue to give our Liz ideas for her column, as she seemed to pick ones from the old thread with such ease. Liz - here's looking at you (and your dreadfully applied eyeliner)

Excellent. Am a big fan Liz <waves>
And hello too to all the DM researchers <waves again>. Always a pleasure.

LeBOF Mon 09-Jan-12 12:50:37

Marvellous. This could be my new hobby.

cocolepew United States Mon 09-Jan-12 12:52:01

Did I read somewhere she's had a face lift? Liz, you need to get a new hairstyle. And colour.

cario Mon 09-Jan-12 12:53:19

indeed LeBOF- unfortunately, I'm getting as obsessed with the Lizard as she is with herself, though hers is love as opposed to my, hmm not hate - more derision. I think I might have to start some sort of self help group.

cocolepew United States Mon 09-Jan-12 12:53:36

The DM seem to nick everything off the cheezeburger site at the moment.

whatkungfuthat Mon 09-Jan-12 12:53:48

I really haven't got time for this, I am a vegan you know? I need to make sure my buttermilk suede trousers fit my bony arse so I can go and drink my milk-from-cows-with-pensions (that I sell in Selfridges dontchaknow?) What kind of a vegetable does suede come from? How dare you diss my eyeliner, tis a trademark!

cario Mon 09-Jan-12 12:56:18

actually, I have a theory re the eyeliner - I think she's still applying it in exactly the same position as pre facelift, not accounting for the fact that her eyes have moved.

whatkungfuthat Mon 09-Jan-12 12:57:56

That would account for the white gap which I always thought was eyelash glue

cario Mon 09-Jan-12 13:03:07

so, where were we - I'm still waiting for Kitya to turn up and answer my question re intimacy with RSs.....

whatkungfuthat Mon 09-Jan-12 13:13:16

I've sent her the LJ alert

katkitya Mon 09-Jan-12 13:40:51

I answered you last night but, it got deleted!!! its nowt to get excited about anyways. I was different in my younger, slimmer days.

Re the hair, she has had it done since her famous I am a sperm stealer tv appearance and, it does look much better.

whatkungfuthat Mon 09-Jan-12 13:52:26

Ah yes, now THAT was a seminal performance <snurk>

cario Mon 09-Jan-12 14:13:57

katkit - my life is such at the moment that Persil changing their bio formula is something to get excited about!!!

whatkungfuthat Mon 09-Jan-12 14:51:27

What did I miss last night then? I have no RS shagging stories to share sad

cario Mon 09-Jan-12 16:01:22

nothing major, Katkit just mentioned that she hoped she'd never shared a shag which got me wondering. I'm still wondering.....

Don't you know that VB has forgiven her for all her nastiness and invited her to an exclusive viewing of her next line, which is going to be for Chanel?

katkitya Mon 09-Jan-12 16:10:36

Lets be abit fair to her. She is supposed to be a good interviewer and fashion journalist. What is VB forgiving her for? for being thinner than her?

cario Mon 09-Jan-12 16:21:06

.... shagging her husband?

whatkungfuthat Tue 10-Jan-12 08:21:04

Ah yes, she didn't let LJ in her show last time did she. Does VB still hate the DM?

cario Tue 10-Jan-12 09:39:39

apparently VB has a very good sense of humour. That's probably why she's invited Liz.

whatkungfuthat Tue 10-Jan-12 10:31:56

I'd pay bad money to see Liz slug it out with Mary Portas, wouldn't last long though

katkitya Tue 10-Jan-12 19:23:10

Do you know what? I was thinking today for a change one of my favourite journalists is Polly Vernon, also another fashion journo ex editor. She's fab but, tbh, her articles when not about fashion are about how she panics if she goes over a size 6, how she never wants children, the best swanky places to drink in etc etc. Really, don't you think all fashion journalists are the same deep down? Yes, liz is annoying but she really only goes on about the same stuff as the others.

katkitya Tue 10-Jan-12 19:27:11

And, she was right what she said to Mary. It's just a shame she looked like she'd been dragged through a hedge backwards when she said it.

whatkungfuthat Tue 10-Jan-12 19:38:49

I tend not to read the others though, and I only know LJ from the diary and Jones Moans really.

fluffylegs Fri 13-Jan-12 13:14:56

I see Polly Vernon around, as we must live near each other. She looks in, and I'm not exaggerating, every reflective surface she walks past. Once I saw her shopping in Sainsbos- there were some chicken goujons in her basket.

whatkungfuthat Fri 13-Jan-12 15:53:45

I don't know who she is

katkitya Fri 13-Jan-12 17:57:39

She was the deputy editor of the Observer fashion magazine, she still works for them. She also writes a column under the alias Cocktail Girl. Shes a very good writer. Unlike our Liz, she likes a drink. Actually thats one thing I dont know about Liz, does she drink?

TeamEdward Fri 13-Jan-12 18:04:18

Ooh, what's the LJ Vs. Mary Portas story?
<out of the loop emoticon>

whatkungfuthat Fri 13-Jan-12 18:12:38

LJ appeared on that show where MP was launching a fashion line(looking like a bag of shite) and was mildy disapproving and then slagged the range off in the DM

TeamEdward Fri 13-Jan-12 18:46:27

FIGHT!

whatkungfuthat Fri 13-Jan-12 18:49:33

I think Mary decided to rise about it, sadly, as she would break LJ with one kick

MinnieBar Fri 13-Jan-12 18:56:31

I remember a PV article in - I think - Marie Claire about competitive under-eating, and she was basically claiming that ALL women do this. The next month the magazine printed a slew of 'No we don't love; you've got an eating disorder' letters and she got rather narky about it.

cario Sat 14-Jan-12 10:41:19

I note that in the DM this week, it's announced that LJ will no longer be regularly contributing her 'Jones Moans' weekly bit - I can't imagine for a moment that she's run out of things (real and imaginary) to moan about, so what gives there then??????? Well, her weekly DM column, obviously!

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Sat 14-Jan-12 10:45:43

polly vernon is cack. and rumour is that LJ was basically just too expensive and has been going to get slung for a while... the RS and sperm-stealing were likely delaying tactics on her part.

cario Sat 14-Jan-12 12:56:45

I probably shan't sleep tonight, in anticipation of tomorrow's column .... perhaps they'll give it to PV...... which is an unfortunate set of initials, btw - also medically your 'from your ladies passage', ahem.

katkitya Sat 14-Jan-12 14:46:55

Polly has left the Guardian but, it would be abit weird to say the least if she ended from there onto the Mail.

Well, no surprised, we've been saying for months that The Mail will be getting rid.

Starshaped Sat 14-Jan-12 14:57:31

Does't Polly Vernon write for Grazia now? I don't think she's quite as crazy as Liz myself...

whatkungfuthat Sat 14-Jan-12 16:22:22

Do we think she's been given the complete heave-ho then? If not I'm sure one of her DM mates will be along soon to defend her <waits>

whatkungfuthat Sun 15-Jan-12 08:29:03

Its back to the tried and tested filler of animal stuff this week (Lizzie the horse has cataracts). She did say that she only had one day off in 2011 though, boo-hoo

fluffylegs Sun 15-Jan-12 08:50:55

Oh god that animal stuff is boring

BrightnessFalls Sun 15-Jan-12 12:04:20

what a yawnfest. I reckon she will be gone come April.

whatkungfuthat Sun 15-Jan-12 12:10:45

I am genuinely curious as to what she is supposed to have had only one day off from? UK mini breaks, festivals, and trips New York and Ibiza with the pretendy RS? Being paid silly money to sit in her cupboard counting the worth of the designer crap she gets sent or writing contradictory bilge about her very odd existence? confused

c0rnsilllk Sun 15-Jan-12 12:14:26

did she make it all up then?

whatkungfuthat Sun 15-Jan-12 12:33:54

It certainly looks that way. Interestingly, there is someone writing in the mail comments under the diary that claims to know the RS, his ex-wife and the 'eurotrash' GF who said they were all very offended and angry that she has chosen to invent a whole scenario around him. The person said they are choosing to maintain a dignified silence rather than sue, and mentions several others including MP that are doing the same rather than feed LJ with attention.

She is also getting a kicking on her other article where she claims that all women can't wait to get out the corkscrew at 6pm every night "because they can't afford to go shopping" hmm

c0rnsilllk Sun 15-Jan-12 12:37:17

wow she is bonkers

BrightnessFalls Sun 15-Jan-12 12:37:53

I have to read that one!! What about those, like me, that cant wait to get the corkscrew out and find themselves shopping on the net an hour later when they are tipsy? If anything you shop more.

cario Mon 16-Jan-12 13:17:52

if they can't afford to go shopping, how do they buy the wine?

I'm with you on that Brightness, though I have a problem with that 'confirm purchase' button even when I haven't had wine. Wine merely adds a '0'.....

mrsbassy Fri 20-Jan-12 08:35:39

'rs' back in the column, in the same sentence as 'fantasy'...!!!

oh, & she has a 'best friend', too, now

cario Fri 20-Jan-12 10:55:51

Is that this coming Sunday's column? Wow, a best friend obtained in a week - she could write a 'how to' book about that. Except nobody would believe it...

whatkungfuthat Sat 21-Jan-12 18:26:29

There is no beginning to my excitement in anticipation of the next column

FollowTheVan Sat 21-Jan-12 18:32:41

Oh I cannot bear PV. Cocktail 'girl' my arse. Youre about 40, love- do me a favour! Absolute drivel.

LJ is bonkers. I would, however, like to meet her in RL, just to seeif she is as bloody doolally as ahe comes across.

whatkungfuthat Sat 21-Jan-12 18:43:21

They both live in a false fantasy world where they get given loads of expensive stuff and travel the world at others expense. LJ had been doing it for years so she is probably more bonkers. I've said this before but her views and whining really remind me of an overconfident young girl who thinks they know it all, without actually living life and experiencing any real setbacks, no emotional maturity whatsoever.

MooncupGoddess Sat 21-Jan-12 18:44:54

Apparently LJ is quite good company in RL.... the problem comes when she is let loose on a computer. I'm sure the Mail encourage her for shock value.

Polly Vernon is the dullest and most self-obsessed journo I have EVER read. She supplied much of the content for the late unlamented Observer Women magazine, which regularly sent me into a state of feminist frothing.

FollowTheVan Sat 21-Jan-12 19:00:55

Have they stopped Obs Woman?! I stopped getting the Obs because of it. Even though it was only monthly it just put me off the whole paper. Fuckng insulting.

I rember PV when she was a young un. Wasnt she jus 17 or one f those teeny mags? She was shite en and she hasnt improved

cario Sun 22-Jan-12 10:29:55

Brilliant - this week she refers to going through all her old diaries to see where she keeps going wrong. I think she means to try and keep up with her fictional existence so we don't keep spotting the anomalies.

Frankly, it's smacking of desperation (or am I just desperate to give LJ a slap hmm ) - now we've got the RS AND the married man. Perhaps they're all off to skip up the yellow brick road together, in search of the Wizard....

whatkungfuthat Sun 22-Jan-12 12:42:59

Oh yes the MM, Javier.....Javier Laugh

cario Mon 23-Jan-12 15:53:31

grin at WKFT

tillytips Fri 10-Feb-12 15:30:10

don't read it then. Jeez.

GetOrfMoiiLand Fri 10-Feb-12 15:37:22

I LOVE women columnists. Polly Vernon wrote an article in Grazia a few months back which was effectively the Busy Gel's Guide to Easy Anorexia. Saying it is normal to barely eat and everyone does it.

I think the Liz Jones persona is just that, a persona. I don't believe she is really like that at all, just writes a load of shocking stuff to make the Daily Mail readerrs all excited.

I know this is akin to someone coming on one of my threads and saying 'but Peter Andre is lovely and is such a great dad' but I don't think Liz is that bad. That awful Singh Daliwal man she was married to though <shudder>

GetOrfMoiiLand Fri 10-Feb-12 15:38:05

Javier Laugh!

BrightnessFalls Sat 11-Feb-12 04:13:15

Yes, I agree. I said it ages ago and got flamed. Of course it's just an act, she can't change her style of writing as it pays her bills. I think her fashion writing is real and, that she is no doubt good at that. She has a glowing cv and is clearly loaded. I have stopped reading her column. It ended for me when the RS disappeared.

mrsbassy Sun 19-Feb-12 04:28:05

http://www.the-searchers.co.uk/dates.htm

BrightnessFalls Sun 19-Feb-12 16:25:01

Before I click on that, is in an Australian tour?

BrightnessFalls Sun 19-Feb-12 16:26:59

Dear God, surely not? how old are they? What did they sing?

cario Sun 19-Feb-12 16:37:31

I can hardly bear to admit, I'm going to have to have a look - but this does of course acknowledge that EVERYTHING she's said before is b****cks, re 80s concert, leggings etc. Good grief, I'm only a couple of years younger than her and I am way too young to have had a pic of the Searchers on my wall!

BrightnessFalls Sun 19-Feb-12 17:16:41

They are my fathers age, surely? How can he afford a driver? Have you seen the length of that tour? It would test anyone. Urgh, do they still have groupies? like I dont know the answer to that

cario Sun 19-Feb-12 17:31:36

Roger Daltrey has just cancelled an Aussie tour ('Due to unforeseen scheduling conflicts'?) and Duran Duran are playing over there this year. I remain hugely sceptical and think she's done just what I have and googled who is meant to be playing there to pretend it's them. We've already discussed both the Durans and Daltrey - there must be more and the searchers re just too old and to removed from the original line up....

BrightnessFalls Sun 19-Feb-12 18:20:08

It cant be Duran if it is she must have been very immature for her age. She's 8 years older than me and I was a major Durannie at 15.

Why not Roger Daltrey?

cario Sun 19-Feb-12 18:22:42

I can't remember - but on the old thread his name was bandied around and discounted by those more dedicated to the search than I !! Is he married, maybe?

cario Sun 19-Feb-12 18:28:52

ok, so he has zillions of kids, but is a Londoner so not likely to say 'wee' and he has never had addiction problems, alcohol or otherwise but, most importantly - she's hardly likely to be impressed with somebody who promotes trout fishing! (Being one herself........)

Daltrey has been married twice. In 1964, he married the former Jacqueline "Jackie" Rickman, and had one child, born in 1964, Simon. The couple divorced in 1968. In 1967, Daltrey's son Mathias was born, the result of an affair with Swedish model Elisabeth Aronsson.[58] In 1967, he met the American Heather Taylor, his current wife whom he married in 1971. Together, they have three children, Rosie Lea (born in 1972), Willow Amber (born in 1975)[59] and Jamie (born in 1981). He also has four granddaughters, Lily, Lola, Ramona and Scarlet; and one grandson, Jonjo. He also has three other children from relationships during the 1960s and 1970s.[60]

Daltrey owns a farm at Holmshurst Manor, a country estate near Burwash, East Sussex built in 1610, as well as his parents' old home in London. He designed and built Lakedown trout fishery near Burwash, documented in the film Underwater World of Trout, Vol. 1.[61] He bought a home in Los Angeles in the early 2000s.

Daltrey is a supporter of Arsenal F.C..[62]

Daltrey claims to have never tried hard drugs and unlike his fellow band mates, has stayed straight and free from addiction problems.[63]

BrightnessFalls Sun 19-Feb-12 18:33:28

I like his children's names and the grandchildren.

It cant be him but, he's certainly loaded enough. Im thinking this rs is going to be of the glamrock era. The fact that she narrows it down to Australia is helpful if she is telling the truth hardly any body goes there. Who has been popular in Australia?

KengaTengo Mon 20-Feb-12 12:07:14

Cario: "I remain hugely sceptical and think she's done just what I have and googled who is meant to be playing there to pretend it's them" - THIS.

As for all the reams of info you copied in re Roger Daltrey, only one salient point was actually needed: Daltrey is CURRENTLY married - end of!

cario Mon 20-Feb-12 14:13:10

KengaTengo - it doesn't really matter whether my cut&paste contained more than the salient point, if you want cutting edge and concise - this thread isn't the place to come! It specialises more in rambling surmising and idle speculation, after all, we must never let the truth get in the way of a good story - LJ doesn't......... wink

SusannahL Tue 21-Feb-12 13:56:38

Quite right Cario. We are all idle speculators on here!!
I have just come back from holiday and am amazed to read that the RS relationship appears to be still on,especially as he has read about Liz lusting after another man. He must be so keen, or totally mad. So, the detective work goes on. Good!!

SuddenlyAtHome Tue 21-Feb-12 14:10:38

I can't stand PV, she grated in the otherwise excellent Minx magazine (RIP - though it might agitate my feminist bits now). Full of herself but with an undercurrent of self-loathing. About 10 years ago I bumped into an old schoolfriend in the pub over xmas who was working in London on various magazines, she said that PV got where she is on her knees iyswim and was not liked by other journos.

(Am aware how unfeminist writing the above probably is but I can't stop being an inadequate person just like that.)

I'd like Grace Dent to write an unauthorised biography of Liz Jones. I do love Liz, she is marvellous and a total tit. I've been following these threads for AGES in the hope the RS would be unmasked, if it's an ancient Searcher that would be too perfect.

KengaTengo Wed 22-Feb-12 03:46:19

It's OK folks, I've cracked it at last. This is the Rock Star:

london.craigslist.co.uk/m4w/2844072315.html

(Don't even ask why I was browsing Craigslist myself at 3 am blush but this is definitely not what I was looking for but the advert title "The strangest proposition ever" did grab my attention and opened it up only to find exactly how Liz met her RS !!!!)

cario Wed 22-Feb-12 08:50:55

sorry KengaT, I AM going to have to ask - why were you browsing Craigslist at 3am????? confused

Brilliant!

edinburghrock Wed 22-Feb-12 14:09:02

Why did we cancel out Duran Duran?

edinburghrock Wed 22-Feb-12 14:13:54

Im confused now. I cant cope anymore www.simpleminds.com/sm/Breaking-Out-b558

cario Wed 22-Feb-12 15:34:22

arrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhh, she's not still sticking to her Jim Kerr thing, even after she (and he) said it wasn't. Stupid woman. I think Duran Duran are all either married or involved. Can't remember exactly, but they did get ruled out - mind you, so did Jim Kerr. What about another Simple Mind?

edinburghrock Wed 22-Feb-12 15:46:24

Theyve all got piggy eyes from what I can remember. Duran Duran and Simple Minds are both the ones that are coming up for touring Australia. I really need to get some fresh air now.

mrsbassy Sun 26-Feb-12 08:58:44

utter utter tosh

cario Sun 26-Feb-12 10:43:03

complete, MrsB. Get out of your own butt LJ, you're not even witty and that is inexcusable!!!!!

EdinburghRocks Sun 26-Feb-12 11:12:56

I havent even seen it today. Whats the subject? animals, rockstars or, her own vanity?

cario Sun 26-Feb-12 12:12:30

I don't think she even hits any of those dubious, though inane and fictitious, heights today, ERocks. You could probably classify it as her own vanity though. I wish she were near so I could slap her face a few times and tell her to get over herself ......

EdinburghRocks Sun 26-Feb-12 14:00:16

Oh it's one of those "I was never good enough" ones is it?

cario Sun 26-Feb-12 15:25:34

in fairness though, she's right - she's still not!

SusannahL Mon 27-Feb-12 13:31:50

She really must have been desperate for something to write about this week.
Even news of the animals would have been more interesting than that.

cario Sun 11-Mar-12 16:18:05

No idea what she's papping on about this week - if she's trying to be all mysterious and enigmatic, she's failed miserably. She just comes over as self obsessed and barking - nothing new there, then. How the heck are we meant to know who she's bleating about? She's even run out of imaginery life now, hasn't she?

SusannahL Mon 12-Mar-12 17:30:12

So we have now had two diaries comprised almost entirely about her dead cat.
I can understand up to a point, and have felt upset when one of my children's pets died, but I can't help wondering if her poor mum, who is dying, will be given so much coverage when she eventually dies.
She really must find the money from somewhere to visit her nephew in Oz, and to support her sister. There was obviously money available for a face lift, but then we have to get our priorities right, don't we?

Did anyone read the piece in small print written alongside the diary, saying how she can no longer respond personally to emails as she is 'exhausted' and 'in mourning'?

cario Mon 12-Mar-12 20:23:50

Didn't see that small print. The woman is a psychopath, in the true psychology sense of the word, you're right about her mother too. Also, this is the same Liz Jones who was about to book a ticket to see a fictional married guy in South America a month or two ago - hmmmm, as she didn't go after all, maybe she could have used that money for an Oz ticket?

mrsbassy Mon 12-Mar-12 20:31:25

I thought that she didn't go because she couldn't blag a freebie from BA High Life magazine

but who knows what really goes on in her parallel universe?

cario Mon 12-Mar-12 21:18:08

tsch, and there was me thinking she 'cancelled' because she'd realised that her readership weren't buying the whole new mythical married boyfriend story.

KengaTengo Tue 13-Mar-12 12:12:32

I thought she 'cancelled' and knocked the Australia story on its head because she realised that Mumsnet had already proved that Simple Minds toured Australia last year - as per post by Edinburgh Rocks further back - and are not due to tour Australia this year !!!

And when Liz read that and realised the Mumsnet crew had ruined one of her fictions again, she decided to drop the Australia visit :-)

But now she makes out it is tragic that she cannot get to Oz to see her dying nephew as she cannot afford a flight (oh-woe-is-£250,000 salary-me), when the dying nephew had never been proffered by Liz as the reason for wanting to go to Australia in her original fictions !!!

whatkungfuthat Sun 18-Mar-12 14:32:56

Looks like the fictional RS has chucked her (in the place where they first met, puhleeze!)

cario Sun 18-Mar-12 15:52:30

good job it's all made up, or she may have gotten upset.

BrightnessFalls Sun 18-Mar-12 18:58:59

I dont think I can face reading it.

whatkungfuthat Mon 19-Mar-12 09:42:59

She bought him an ipod and preloaded it with crap her taste (after first deleting all her itunes except the ones she was putting on it rather than unchecking the box, daft caah). He phoned and asked her to meet at 6.30, she complained as it meant only having 7 hours to de-furr (I may have made some of that up) They met in the hotel that she interviewed him in 20 yrs ago and he basically dumped her but not in so many words, and said he was off to dinner. She got in a taxi and played Roberta Flack.

All this was interspersed with loads of stuff about her ex-H, ishoos anyone??

cario Mon 19-Mar-12 12:08:07

and this all happened on Valentines Day. My heart is bleeding..... bleeding laughing itself stupid. She also made reference to her poverty stricken state again - shouldn't go wasting her money on ipods.

TobyLerone Mon 19-Mar-12 12:20:06

Do we actually think he's chucked her now?

Also, one of the comments says it's Bill Wyman. Have I missed all the speculation about him already? Because I don't recall him being mentioned.

whatkungfuthat Mon 19-Mar-12 14:56:16

If memory serves Wyman is married to that women he wrote the song je suis un rock star about years previously (the one who took of her hat and had lurverly hair whilst sitting in a fountain)

TobyLerone Mon 19-Mar-12 15:01:55

Hmmm. Yes. Wikipedia has him as married to a lady called Suzanne Accosta. And didn't the RS have a pregnant daughter a while back? His eldest daughter is 17.

whatkungfuthat Mon 19-Mar-12 15:43:29

Yes, thats the woman in the song. I'd forgotten until now about the Mandy Smith thing, she was very young wasn't she shock

BrightnessFalls Mon 19-Mar-12 18:17:35

I cant really think of anyone who's had stories sold about him.

cario Tue 20-Mar-12 08:25:46

We ruled him out on account of his married state, plus, she's WAY too old for him. I don't think she's saying she's been chucked, just hinting she might have been in case the need arises, she's going to wait to see what we write then continue her story accordingly....
How can anyone have luverly hair sitting in a fountain? Surely their hair would be just plain wet.confused

PurpleBlue Tue 20-Mar-12 08:29:16

Im not up to date on the recent Lizzisms, so the RS has disappeared now? thought he was swearing undying love for her last time I caught up was bored enough to read up on it

cario Tue 20-Mar-12 09:48:59

she's been through phases of on the brink of engagement/moving in, in love with another (fictional) man (married), reaching writers block and running out of ideas so concentrating on her boring as crap animals, deciding to dump RS and launching a ridiculously overpriced milk (all gone quiet on that front), deciding to dump the other (fictional) man (married),not going skiing at Christmas and being forced to publicly announce that it's NOT Jim Kerr. That covers the last 6 months or so - suggest you look on line at this weeks but, if you can't be arsed and who could blame you, it centres around her 7 hour defuzzing (as mentioned by whatKFD) in prep for a Valentines meet at the hotel in which she and RS first met, armed with a (supposedly thoughtful and romantic) ipod present, but he just exchanged a few words, then went off elsewhere for dinner. She returned all Eastenders like, sad and alone, in a cab with only the ipod for company. Perhaps if she'd actually GIVEN it to him, he may have bought her a Martini..... Nowhere have we been told, specifically, that she's been dumped, depends on how her readership figures go, I guess hmm

TobyLerone Tue 20-Mar-12 09:52:41

Oh, and her cat died. I bet it really smelt.

cario Tue 20-Mar-12 10:00:56

and she's still not housetrained her dogs - so the dead cat smell was probably indistinguishable from the other smells.

whatkungfuthat Tue 20-Mar-12 10:18:47

Arf at 'eastenders like', it was a truly terrible song cario feast your ears The cat was about 27 (according to Cruella) so it probably stunk before it died

TobyLerone Tue 20-Mar-12 10:25:10

That's what I meant about the cat stinking. Before it died. Although yes, she kept it hanging around and her dogs piss everywhere anyway. Her whole house must be minging.

cario Tue 20-Mar-12 10:30:34

quite - 7 hours cleaning and disinfecting the house would probably do more for her love life than any amount of defuzzing. Just saying....

mrsbaldwin Tue 20-Mar-12 16:23:21

Polly Vernon has been reading this thread!

She mentions it in her Grazia column today.

She must be Googling herself grin

Or maybe Liz Jones told her grin

whatkungfuthat Tue 20-Mar-12 16:34:26

What did it say Mrs B? Any linkys? grin

BrightnessFalls Tue 20-Mar-12 16:46:29

Well, I stand by the fact that I have always declared my love for Polly's writing!!

Must buy Grazia now, Rihanna on the front put me off.

I'm sure they all know each other and are probably friends

cario Tue 20-Mar-12 17:22:36

They're probably one and the same....

BrightnessFalls Tue 20-Mar-12 22:05:09

No, ones cooler than the other smile

whatkungfuthat Wed 21-Mar-12 07:55:02

Well one of them is less raddled and doesn't appear to see the need for a fantasy lover but neither are exactly in touch with the real world. I'd still like to know what she said though, was it complimentary to LJ?

cario Wed 21-Mar-12 08:55:01

I'm still trying to work out which ones cool....... confused

cario Wed 21-Mar-12 08:55:32

missed apostrophe, slap wrist, back to school. *one's

BrightnessFalls Wed 21-Mar-12 10:26:30

No she said nothing about her. It was an article about how people comment on Twitter etc about well known people and think it doesnt affect them. She herself does it. Then she must have come accross this page hang on Im off to find the mag She talks about how someone had commented on here that they had caught her checking herself out in the supermarket and described the contents of her basket. The other had said that she had gone up the career ladder because she had spent alot of time "on her knees" which, I have to agree, is a vile thing to say about someone you dont know. I can only assume that comment was from someone who knows her or has a grudge against her. Anyway, that was about it really. I guess she meant thank god she isnt high profile enough to have people slagging her off left, right and centre.

whatkungfuthat Wed 21-Mar-12 12:07:15

The person that said it did say that she was repeating what she had been told and that it was 'unfeminist' iirc, but not nice I agree. Clearly the threads on here and on Digital Spy (which are much more vitriolic) can't have got to Jones as she continues to propagate the RS twaddle but still refuses to name him not that he exists

cario Wed 21-Mar-12 12:29:11

quite - if Lizard was bothered about what's been and being said she could a) stop being such a needy, self obsessed and pathetic specimen and b) just come clean about the RS. She may also want to consider not announcing her veganism during the same period of time as launching her 'tastiest milk ever'. Ooh, and desist in pleading poverty whilst acquiring a pied a terre in the capital, a new 4x4 and musing over whether to leg it over to S America in pursuit of an imaginary married man. Not to mention quote some ludicrous amount in supposed repairs to her clapped out Beemer when she could, frankly, have bought something decent for less. Are we to assume she is really stupid enough to take an old car to a proper BMW dealer, at their prices, when the dealer service history has become irrelevant? I shall spare my sympathy for those that don't set themselves up quite so blatantly. As for PV - can't comment, don't know her and have never really read much by her, but anyone that googles every word written about them should just accept it and put it down to their narcissm.
Thus endeth the rant.

BrightnessFalls Wed 21-Mar-12 13:01:37

It wasn't LJ complaining. PV never said she googled herself anyone could've pointed this out to her. It's out there for anyone to see.

cario Sun 25-Mar-12 11:52:27

Just read todays offering..... SERIOUSLY??????? Hands up who's feeling sorry for her. Anyone?

Just as an aside though, I'd like to know what lender is prepared to give a second mortgage to somebody who couldn't even get credit on her credit cards..... the watchdog should be informed hmm

whatkungfuthat Sun 25-Mar-12 12:10:35

I'm never even sure what point she was trying to make confused How can this be considered decent reading material?

cario Sun 25-Mar-12 12:35:41

It's a 'I'm so lovely and generous and kind to every single person and creature and nothing's my fault and I really can't remember what stories I've told before which is why I keep contradicting myself and perhaps new 4x4s don't count as cars so I have to borrow one' piece. Pathetic.

cario Sun 25-Mar-12 12:38:17

Obviously, that should read ''I'm so lovely and generous and kind to every single person and creature except for my own mother and, of course, my brother in Aus who I couldn't be arsed to go and see in spite of his illness'

SusannahL Mon 26-Mar-12 11:03:12

I think we would all like to know which lender she used to get the second mortgage!
I am now completely confused as I thought her assistant Nic had the converted barn. If her sister was given it why does she now need a cottage?
Was the point of writing all that to make her sister feel guilty? Liz said her sister moved to Exmoor to be near her, and presumably help out with the animals.
The apparent devotion of the RS is not mentioned at all in the 'poor poor me, nobody loves me' rant. Here is a man (if he exists of course) who appears to love her, is very wealthy, so, on the face of it, appears to be the answer to all her prayers.
Unfortunately Liz Jones is a woman who will never be happy.

MagsAloof Thu 29-Mar-12 11:13:58

Step away from the Mail, ladies. No good can come of it grin.

I read some horrible thing she wrote on Victoria Beckham the other day in the Mail cough. Vicious. I have no time for VB and her vacuous 'I is fashion, innit' foolishness, but Christ, LJ went to town on her. She leeches off the success of other women 'slebs' in the most spiteful and sinister way.

Did someone say PV read this thread? Oops. That Observer mag doesnt exist any more does it? Or does it? God, that was grim. Basically amounted to her and that sour-faced fashion woman (Jess Double-Barrell-ey-summat) harping on about having their fingers on the pulse of cool.

Note to self: Must stop reading this shit.

cario Fri 30-Mar-12 10:16:10

It's because, like her or loathe her, VB is thin, has kids, is pretty well liked by her friends (indeed, has friends...), has a husband no sensible woman would kick out of bed and a career - now, let's count up how many of those things apply to Lizard envy ...... anyway, makes a change from her picking on Kirstie Allsop

Note to MagsAloof: Don't stop reading this shit - you'll have to deal with real things instead

whatkungfuthat Fri 30-Mar-12 12:25:02

Well said! The Kirsty vitriol really confuses me, it must be pure jealousy that the "fat" girl is so succesful and happy, whereas Lizard starves herself into clothes she is decades too old to wear and has a miserable existence judging others by the stuff they have.

whatkungfuthat Fri 30-Mar-12 13:55:41

In fact.....LJ if you are reading this have some messy sex and a pie

SusannahL Fri 30-Mar-12 16:11:24

But not a shop bought hot pie or it will cost her more!! We all know she is completely broke don't we?!

whatkungfuthat Sun 01-Apr-12 12:11:20

Not according to today's column Susannah, she has built a new 'wing' housing a bedroom suite with luxe bathroom.

cario Sun 01-Apr-12 17:35:18

no doubt she got the marble shower from Wickes.

SusannahL Tue 03-Apr-12 10:31:07

How on earth can we be expected to take her seriously when the previous diary was taken up with explaining why she is broke, then this current one mentions the luxury bathroom ? Surely she must see how ridiculous it all is.

whatkungfuthat Sun 08-Apr-12 13:10:06

I tried to read this week's column about the ficticious tour but it comes up saying the URL is no longer available. Am now speculating feverishly as to the reason why smile

cario Sun 08-Apr-12 15:43:45

aha - but they can't unpublish the hard copy...... you're not missing much, just another poor me and the pretend RS didn't shag her before he went on tour (first realistic thing I've read from her), but she's going to lay out 7,000 for a ticket to Aus to see him because she doesn't travel economy..... that'll be the 7,000 she couldn't afford to see her brother then? confused

SusannahL Wed 02-May-12 13:18:46

Would somebody let me know if this thread is still active please, or post a link to a current thread please?
I can't believe no-one has anything to say about the latest rant from our Liz!

BrightnessFalls Mon 07-May-12 18:38:03

Oh I haven't read it for two weeks as it wouldn't load it online. Go on then? What was it?

Did you see Polly Vernon twittering about you all yesterday? smile Not me, cos she knows I like her.

cario Wed 09-May-12 09:33:40

I have just been plain dumbstruck at the tosh that spouts forth from that woman (LJ - haven't read PV). It's all been about her going to Aus/not going to Aus, flying first class/flying economy, buying her own ticket/him buying it. She did actually put stars instead of an alleged hit record name, probably to elicit some sort of reaction as we've all been quiet but, to be honest, we could spend hours deciphering the number of stars (it was 4 or 5 words) and get nowhere and can anybody be arsed anymore? This has all been interspersed with 'poor me, I buy them everything but have no friends' stuff. Her lack of self awareness and social skill can't help but make me wonder, 'psychopathic (true sense) personality or mild end autistic spectrum': psych students - discuss.....

whatkungfuthat Wed 09-May-12 17:03:09

Just looked at PV's comments about us on Twitter. She know us by our fleece apparently. Whereas we know "totally" know her from the desperate clawing at the last vestiges of her long-departed youth.

cario Wed 09-May-12 22:50:11

Oh, I don't have a fleece, I feel left out..... I don't Twit either - so can't read her twitting. Shame, maybe I'd learn from where to obtain my fleece.

whatkungfuthat Thu 10-May-12 08:08:52

I have neither a fleece or a twitter account, I just googled her name and twitter was the first thing that came up. Hers is a load of self-congratulatory bollocks about mucus botox or somesuch. How do these women make a career of being self-obsessed?

cario Thu 10-May-12 09:02:22

oh yes, I didn't know you could do that (get twits not google), I'm waaaay behind the times. I have to say now, I fully understand why I've never twitted- change the 'i' for an 'a' and that about sums it up.................

whatkungfuthat Thu 10-May-12 10:34:35

I don't use it either, the smugness scares me grin

fluffylegs Sat 12-May-12 13:56:09

On twitter PV says 'revenge stalking the woman who stalked me round sainsbos. I know her cos of her fleece'

She thinks I stalked her round sainsbos! she thinks I wear a fleece!! Brilliant.

I was just being nosey cos I remembered her piece about being thin and how great it is and wondered how she does it. So i checked out her basket and revealed all on MN. Also I've seen her checking herself out in a lot of windows. But I only know of her cos we have a mutual 'friend'.

I hope I haven't caused her to feel paranoid in Sainsbos. I check out a lot of baskets not just hers.

whatkungfuthat Sat 12-May-12 16:21:16

She should be thanking you for giving her some material to write about that is not totally self-obsessed drivel

mrsbassy Sun 13-May-12 00:12:03

ye gods !!!

ceebeegeebies Sun 13-May-12 20:49:56

If anyone else is still reading this, I googled stars on tour in Australia around March time (I think I worked out her column was about 2 months behind) and got Adam Ant...if you read his page on Wikipedia, he does seem to fit the descriptions tbh (apart from being Scottish but I can't remember if she actually said he was Scottish).

Still think it is probably fiction but I actually think Adam Ant is a good fit hmm

skirt Sun 13-May-12 20:55:28

Oh god PLEASE let it be Adam Ant. They both have Massive Shiny Foreheads.

whatkungfuthat Sun 13-May-12 21:35:51

I have it on good authority that it isn't

skirt Sun 13-May-12 22:28:40

That's because he doesnt exist, except in her wanking fantasies after a bottle of prosecco on a Friday night.

cario Mon 14-May-12 11:19:33

Adam Ant may have sanity issues, but surely even he's not barking enough to entertain the Lizard... Foreheads could be an issue - the combined reflective power would be enough to wipe out satellites and skew the entire planets navigational systems .
Shouldn't worry though - not so long ago, he was supposed to be a one hit wonder... but then again the RS is a very fluid fantasy, sort of like a shapeshifter.

SusannahL Thu 17-May-12 17:18:45

Thanks for starting this new thread Cario! I wondered if everyone had got thoroughly pissed off with LJ, but I guess the old thread was full.

Did anyone read the piece in the Mail (or M on S) where Liz was dressed up as the Queen? It was really bizzare. A few weeks ago she was done up to look like Kate Middleton. I honestly don't buy this 'I'm broke' whine: she must be earning a fortune from the number of articles she writes.

SusannahL Fri 18-May-12 17:13:25

Glad our LJ fix is continuing! Thanks Cario.

Did anyone see the piece recently where Liz was dressed up, complete with old(er) lady make up, to loook like the Queen? Very bizzare. This was hot on the heels of another piece where she reckoned she is turning into Kate Middleton, complete with photos for us to marvel at!

cario Sat 19-May-12 17:25:29

she always wears older lady make up - you know the sort, the sort that's been applied by somebody who really should be wearing glasses......

whatkungfuthat Sat 19-May-12 20:02:33

She also clearly can't see her old lady jowls, despite the plastic surgery

cario Sun 20-May-12 11:54:20

Cop out alert. The real reason that she didn't go to Australia is because she just remembered the RS is all made up in her head!

whatkungfuthat Sun 20-May-12 15:53:01

I can't see the page anymore, haven't been able to for weeks <suspicious>

Yes, i saw that.

I think she's starting to look more and more like Dot Cotton. I feel sorry for her but then i remind myself she's loaded.

cario Sun 20-May-12 17:20:02

yes, managed a Burberry washbag, in spite of her poverty...... I'd like to be that poor.
Can you get any of the MoS on line WKFT?

BrightnessFalls Sun 20-May-12 17:38:23

My laptop wont let me read that diary anymore. Its bizarre.

The last one I managed to read --because a kind patient had left it at work--was the one where she was on about getting waxed for Australia and how the other wives hated her. If there is such a person as the RS they are clearly from a band who has lots of money. Although I find it strange that wives and gf's all get to go to Australia on tour, in this financial climate.

whatkungfuthat Sun 20-May-12 18:11:20

I can get everything else Cario, when I click on the diary it either won't load or says page not found

cario Sun 20-May-12 18:22:20

oh yes, how bizarre! I just tried it too - I actually get the paper variety, easier to read whilst eating breakfast... oh, call me old fashioned. This weeks was choice, LJ classic - don't know if I can post it from a scan on here but if anybody knows how...?

BrightnessFalls Sun 20-May-12 19:57:34

Im just confused as to why we cant see it.

whatkungfuthat Sun 20-May-12 19:57:52

I wonder if they do it to stop her getting a kicking in the comments section?

cario Sun 20-May-12 20:03:41

but surely that's what gets her reader ratings up - she writes like a self obsessed psycho and the readers comment on it?

mejon Sun 20-May-12 20:37:19

What a surprise (not)!! The woman is bonkers as conkers - did anyone see her piece about hearing aids today? She appears to be wearing some sort of tracksuit trousers with a relatively normal jacket and shirt. Fashion expert my foot! I'm ashamed to admit that I managed to open this week's diary by putting her name in the DM search box and selecting latest articles and going from there. No idea why you sometimes can't click through directly.

PiedWagtail Sun 20-May-12 20:40:00

I've just done that too - and did you see her eyeliner???? Hello, love, you're in your 50s not 20s - it was totally overdone.

Am just sick of how she bangs on about herself all the time - and she comes across as aggressive and shrewish, not smart and standing-up-for-herself. Gahhh. yet she's compulsive - guilty - reading...

SusannahL Mon 21-May-12 12:11:28

I am wondering if this week's piece is all leading to her saying that she will have to stop writing the diary as the RS (if he exists of course) clearly hates her reproducing his emails to her. There have been rumours about the Mail replacing her.

I agree PiedWagtail, she is compulsive yet guilty reading.

cario Mon 21-May-12 12:22:11

ah, the eyeliner - there's a thread all of it's own. NO, Liz - it doesn't make your eyes look bigger, it makes you look like a startled owl. Glasses are obviously as big a necessity as hearing aids for her...... you'd think she would notice how ridiculous she looks in photos, even if she can't spot it in the mirror.

Yes, it may be her swansong for the mail, either that or it's probably just a way to extricate herself from the whole fantasy.

discophile Tue 29-May-12 13:34:59

To see the column put "Liz Jones" into the site search and click "site". It will bring up loads of LJ b*ll*cks. Then select "most recent" and it will reorder so that you can see the magazine column. There is a slight delay, eg, you can't read the column from Sunday until Tuesday (which is today).

Most recent column she is hinting it's all going to be shortly over with the RS because she published his emails, as mentioned the previous week I believe. Quel surprise.

cario Fri 01-Jun-12 13:24:08

she's been looking for a way out for some while, I think she tried to opt out of her story a while back, but reintroduced him when nobody read her drivel anymore. She can't sustain the myth forever though, so perhaps she figured that somebody just MIGHT check flights to Aus, might just have realised she didn't have anything to do in Aus anyway as he doesn't actually exist and also that she MIGHT just have to stop being a victim. So she's written him out of the story.... let's see what happens when she realises we're still not interested in her ridiculous faux veganism and bloody cats.

she is still full of crap. Take the hair shaving thing. Like she would ever do that. <tuts>

cario Sun 03-Jun-12 12:55:19

not only self pitying, but incredibly lazy this week - just regurgitating old info, which wasn't even interesting the first time round.....

zanz1bar Sun 08-Jul-12 14:11:40

Ye gods, everyone and everything in her life for sale

cario Tue 10-Jul-12 09:53:22

methinks she's clutching at straws to try and retain interest - any interest! Yay, let's try the 'dead relative' stunt, the 'sick mother' obviously wasn't enough ... obviously her family don't warrant any privacy either - 'tis true, you can't choose your relatives - unfortunately.

SusannahL Thu 12-Jul-12 13:24:24

I was so shocked at how she went straight from the death of her nephew to some really minor 'news' about the horse. It just seemed so callous.
Obviously the nephew didn't, in her eyes, warrant a whole column.
She must read through what she has written before submitting it to be published, so SURELY she should then have seen just how it looked to everyone else.
And apart from all this she should be in Australia comforting her sister, even if it meant travelling cattle class like the rest of us.

cario Fri 13-Jul-12 19:05:16

You forget - she would go to Aus to see her fictional RS, except as he's fictional she probably would be wondering how come he wasn't there to meet her - but when he said don't bother when she was on the way to the airport, it didn't occur to her to use the flight to see her sister...... do you think she takes lessons in heartlessness?

SusannahL Wed 18-Jul-12 12:30:34

I am sure she must do cario !
She still doesn't get why she is broke does she? It is not because she is too generous with people (although that could be a small part from what she has said), it's because she has spent her life buying stupidly overpriced designer stuff which she can't afford. Her diary has, for years been full of her telling us how her home is full of designer, top of the range furniture, as well as 'nothing but the best' food for all the animals.
Now there is the supposed proposal. Surelu nobody now believes he exists, so, if he does, it really is time for her to come clean about him.
I have honestly forgotten why she had to keep his identity a secret in the first place.

cario Mon 23-Jul-12 18:27:15

because she can't remember who it's meant to be.... grin

Fireandashes Sat 11-Aug-12 16:54:10

I've only just found this thread and I don't read LJ's column regularly but I just wanted to say - I know the owner of the elderly ex-racehorse who died in LJ's care, and LJ's story is an utter pack of lies. Can't say more as the Press Complaints Commission is currently investigating it.

SusannahL Tue 14-Aug-12 13:30:49

That's interesting Fire. I seem to remember that story about how the owner of the horse allegedly refused to pay LJ for the various expenses with the horse.Any more information which you could divulge would be appreciated.
I think we have all learnt that a lot of what she says is, shall we say, economical with the truth.

Fireandashes Thu 16-Aug-12 10:44:49

I have permission from the horse's owner to go into a little more detail:

Owner offered at the outset to pay livery costs for horse (we'll call her A); LJ declined as it was doing her a favour as A would be company for one of her other horses with specific management needs similar to A's.

Owner brought enough feed, medication and supplement at every visit to cover the periods inbetween visits. LJ didn't have to pay for any of these things for A (but is now claiming that she bought it all).

Owner offered to bring a trailer-load of A's accustomed bedding for her stable; LJ declined as she wanted to use a bedding of her choice.

Owner left over £2k's worth of equipment for LJ to use on any of her horses, not exclusively A. LJ still has the majority of that equipment - after A's death owner gave her permission to sell it if she wishes.

After A's death, owner reclaimed her bridle and saddle - both were green with mould as LJ had taken no care of them while they were with her.

Owner asked, and LJ assured, that A be turned out individually as she didn't cope well with being in a field with other horses. Unbeknown to owner LJ disregarded this request, turned A out with other horses and she was consequently bullied. Owner has photographic evidence of bite marks to A's back and neck.

There are also allegations that LJ insisted on unnecessary and invasive veterinary procedures to be carried out on A despite no evidence or history of a medical problems. (Owner has some evidence of this from LJ's vet who is cooperating with the PCC investigation.)

Owner never gave permission for A to be written about in LJ's articles.

LJ didn't do A's owner the courtesy of informing her privately that A had died; owner found out by reading her newspaper column.

I know A's owner and she is a 100% straight, honest, decent person. She genuinely thought that LJ, as patron of an equine charity for whom A's owner has done a lot of fund-raising, could give A a "perfect" home. That perfect home turned into a nightmare resulting in the unexpected death of a previously-fit and healthy A within four months of her joining LJ.

lighthousekeeping Thu 16-Aug-12 18:27:40

thats really sad.

SusannahL Fri 17-Aug-12 16:45:39

Thanks for sharing that Fire.
I seem to remember reading this piece about the horse dying and how , according to her, the owner had refused to contribute financially to the care of the horse.
A large percentage of LJ's articles are concerned with complaints about how miserable her life is, and how she has been used by people over the years.
This article was written as a recent example to illustrate that point.

Your account makes very sad reading indeed and it will be interesting to hear the eventual outcome.

lighthousekeeping Fri 17-Aug-12 22:07:15

Does she still go on about the RS havent read MOS for months.

cario Sat 18-Aug-12 18:32:04

I last heard he'd proposed, but never saw any response to the proposal - I may have missed it or maybe she conveniently forgot it. She conveniently forgets a lot of things.
The horse thing is terrible - I didn't think my opinion of LJ could get much lower!

Nancy66 Sun 19-Aug-12 20:32:37

Fireandashes - so did the horse's previous owner sell it to LJ or give it to her?

I can't see how she would be under any obligation to tell your friend she was intending to write about an animal she kept.

Fireandashes Sun 19-Aug-12 20:58:48

Neither - the horse was on loan to LJ, so my friend retained ownership and no money changed hands. Therefore LJ should - out of courtesy, if nothing else - have told/asked my friend if she (LJ) intended to write about the horse.

Nancy66 Sun 19-Aug-12 22:24:55

Nowt to do with the PCC though.

Fireandashes Sun 19-Aug-12 23:04:19

That may be your opinion, but the PCC are taking my friend's complaints seriously at this stage, so I'll trust their expertise.

whatkungfuthat Fri 31-Aug-12 15:54:19

Isn't it more to do with her telling lies about the owner in her column than mentioning the horse?

cario Fri 31-Aug-12 18:50:42

I'd have thought so - but then again the PCC may point out that all LJs diary entries are works of fiction so no case to answer.........

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