Mumsnet Talk

DH just asked me to book some tickets online for him and his saddo mates.

To my delight I have discovered he is coming here, about half a mile away from my home on 26 November

Here

He's going to talk about his literary career, his "Dad of the Year" award, his music.

I've GOT to go, we need a lovebus to Dunfermline......

He came to our nearest town a couple of years ago. My friend's daughter went to see him. Apparently he is a bit of a shortie. His minders told everyone not to comment on his height.

Your DH wants tickets to see Peter Andre . His mates want to go too

Are you sure he's not gay?

Dh wants me to buy another ticket for <snort> Nazareth on Sat.

Don't know which is worse.

Oh, you poor lamb.

From that:

Peter Andre is an accomplished worldwide media star known for his successful music and television career. And for loving his kids. Really. He loves them

Peter hit a peak in his music career during the 1990s when he became the sixth highest selling artist in the UK - he had numerous number one hit singles, two number one albums and toured all over the world collecting a multitude of national and international awards along the way. This implies his hit list is slightly longer than one song and a duet with the missus. Whoops, forgot Insania

After a successful stint on ITV1’s ‘I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here’ in 2004 audiences were reminded of Peter’s charm and fun personality. To this day we suspect hypnosis.

Peter then went on to become one of the UK’s most popular celebrities with successful projects and reality shows*By hitching his rickety self to Katie Price and hawking his family all over the airwaves*. In recent years Peter’s career has excelled further with two top ten albums, a picture book nuff said, men’s aftershave Kebab - for men, female fragrances Her Kebab:a fragrance and most recently children’s books .

Oi Getorf, did you ask MNHQ about your book title thread?

What numerous number one hits would they be?

I know, do you think his PR read our threads and put this stuff on to amuse us?

I am SO going

I will report back too

Nazareth?

Yes, Nazareth

He invited me along, how I laughed!

It was <snort> Saxon last month

There's still time to gather your belongings and evacuate.

Bun

Does he do a Q&A session?

oh, please let him do a Q&A session

<holds breath>

What are Nazareth and Saxon? Musicals?

Katie, if he sells shite there and you know he will I want an I'm off shopping for Carbs with Clare t-shirt (medium) and a bottle of Her Kebab please. I'll send you the cash. Or can we pay with a mother's love? What with that being priceless and all.

These are my favourite threads, sod bum sex or trolls!

Sweaty old gimmer rockers

Though "Nazareth, The Musical!" does have a certain something

I thought it was something to do with the Christmas story

Gimmer rock is right. I Wiki'd them, there is a roffling timeline to help you understand the changing band members. I assume they dropped out due to gout or prostate trouble or a dicky back.

I've asked DH if there is going to be a Red Cross presence at the gig.

Not for fainting, overexcited fans, you understand.

But for the heart diseased and deaf

<loving gout >

Anyhoo, assuming I get the chance to converse with his oiliness, what should my penetrating question be?

sue you can have all the shite you need

Do you think he'll let me put a pound down his Y's?

I could have a grope about and confirm his needle-dickness if you like.

He's singing



At Butlins

Oh, he's always at jeffing Butlins. Him and that Shayne Ward (blonde chesty type, as opposed to orange chesty type)

He says "I'll have a few surprises in store, so I can get Up Close and Personal with all of you"

what's that then orange-boy?

It's a long way for the lovebus though.

I could do a virtual lovebus

if I ever learn how to work my feckin phone

You all could post things to shout out at meaningful moments

I'm thinking "Show's yer boaby you brain dead turd"

Or summit

Peter Andre's boaby <boaky>

Or "Oh look! You CAN polish a turd!"