Good morning all

(171 Posts)
Maryz Fri 06-Dec-13 08:32:23

Can I start off this lovely day by scattering peace and love, gin and valium, flowers and cake and invite you all to a chatty, fun-and-poetry-filled thread where all are welcome and life can get back to normal.

I will even don my Christmas hat grudgingly and a week early


ghostonthecanvas Fri 06-Dec-13 08:35:36

Morning Maryz. Peace, goodwill and peas right back atcha. <dons hat, settles to read some reet good poetry>

DeckTheHallsWithBoughsOfHorry Fri 06-Dec-13 08:35:38

When your bottom burps in public
Try to say in time
"Goodness gracious what a whiff!
"It doesn't smell like mine."


Maryz Fri 06-Dec-13 08:40:12

Oh, good one Deck smile

I thought this might be appropriate

"Twas the night before Christmas when Santa got ready
He'd drink his first shot to make his hands steady

He'd load up his sleigh with toys and good cheer,
not forgetting his ice chest with a 12 pack of beer

He was a jolly old elf and worked with a grin,
but remembered the brats then gulped his slo-gin

In a drunken stupor down the chimney he'd fall,
then when he was done... to his reindeer he'd call...

"Hey Bud, hey Miller, hey Coors" he'd shout,
"Throw me a rope so I can get out!"

He flew all night long not a house was excluded
leaving toys and a note "Batteries NOT included"

He looked in his sack and said "I'm just about done",
but then he was sleigh-jacked by a kid with a gun

So now Christmas is over and Santa is sober...

But you could hear him exclaim as he walked out of sight
"Hand me a Heineken and give me a light!""

ButThereAgain Fri 06-Dec-13 09:02:14

The Lovesong of Sundry Mumsnet Junkies

LET us go then, you and I,
When the internet is spread out against the sky
And has us etherized upon our laptops;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted threads,
The muttering retreads
Of restless talk at reason’s furthest reaches
And virtual restaurants with friendly quiches:
Threads that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question….
Oh, do not ask, “Why was my thread deleted?”
Or the whole saga will be repeated.

In the chatroom the women come and go
Talking of everything but Michelangelo.

XmasLogAndHollyOn Fri 06-Dec-13 09:04:38

I've been working on something for the holidays.

On the first day of Techmas my user gave to me
A hard drive in a PC

On the second day of Techmas my user gave to me
Two change requests and a hard drive in a PC

And so on. I may work in IT in case you missed the theme grin

youretoastmildred Fri 06-Dec-13 10:00:53

Good morning

Maryz Fri 06-Dec-13 13:51:21

This thread obviously isn't bunfighty enough grin

ButThereAgain Fri 06-Dec-13 14:16:36

I should have kept my TS Eliot powder dry for a busier thread. I'll have to find another Elioty thread to nonchalantly sandwich it into.

youretoastmildred Fri 06-Dec-13 14:18:51

you could start one, all innocent and unknowing, that just happens to fit the bill, like "Prufrock for a girl, Y/N?"

ButThereAgain Fri 06-Dec-13 14:38:05

"Coffee spoons -- essential accessory or social gaffe?"

Maryz Fri 06-Dec-13 14:41:37

I know nothing about Elliot.

I was stuck with Yeats and kavanagh

ButThereAgain Fri 06-Dec-13 14:48:17

I know nothing about him either, but I can't let ignorance and lack of empathy for him stand in the way of a bit of shallow travesty.

I can't really get hold of poetry. I can't be still enough. I always want to plunge forward to some sort of resolution so I get on better with novels.

youretoastmildred Fri 06-Dec-13 14:49:59

butthereagain, just saying that shows the most marvellous appreciation of poetry. how odd that you say you can't get hold of it

come on maryz let's have some (yeats and kavanagh)

HotheadPaisan Fri 06-Dec-13 14:50:31

Had we but world enough and time I'd chat all day. Oh, it was Marvell, not Donne, oh well.

kotinka Fri 06-Dec-13 14:51:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HotheadPaisan Fri 06-Dec-13 14:51:58

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons, it took a while.

HotheadPaisan Fri 06-Dec-13 14:53:16

That is an excellent poem ButThereAgain Fri 06-Dec-13 09:02:14. That should feature somewhere.

ButThereAgain Fri 06-Dec-13 14:56:07

Hello hothead. I've a feeling that everyone on this thread knows each other in some prior incarnation or other. I recognise you. (I am a former worm of the thready variety, ashamed to be slumming in the MN Quality Street tin still, even though there are only empty wrappers and the coconut ones left .) I hope things are going ok for you.

youretoastmildred Fri 06-Dec-13 14:57:33

Really? does everyone know each other? I know you ButThereAgain - that is I do now. Do you know me?

youretoastmildred Fri 06-Dec-13 14:58:02

are there loads of once-self-pleasurers on this thread?

ButThereAgain Fri 06-Dec-13 14:59:25

I thought I might do mildred, from a couple of your posts on that awfully wicked deleted thread about poterkins, but perhaps I am wrong.

ghostonthecanvas Fri 06-Dec-13 15:01:11

Ladies, this fred is too zen, too nice,
Too quiet. It needs debate, a dice
To throw, a topic that causes a flurry,
Nothing to meaty, nowt to cause worry,
No bunfights,. Only good cheer,
Some bad grammer and beer.
Its cosy, all fuzzy, welcoming and warm,
quick sound the klaxon horn, on your feet,
As we standby for HQ to decide to delete.

Mmm. Never done poetry. Can you tell grin

Maryz Fri 06-Dec-13 15:02:09

My son has won his school poetry competition.

I didn't believe him. I thought he was joking fblush. That's how much of a Poetry Philistine I am.

HotheadPaisan Fri 06-Dec-13 15:02:16

Hello! I wondered if that was you, it certainly has your talent to it. I've been well, thanks, just got back here after transferring DS1 to an independent ss, it's been a flurry of activity here. How are you?

I only recognised a few of the threads that have spawned this thread, lovely to chat to all who want to chat respectfully.

ButThereAgain Fri 06-Dec-13 15:03:10

What is ss? Is he happier there? I hope so.

HotheadPaisan Fri 06-Dec-13 15:03:44

I believe it might be youretoast, with a sprinkling of like-minded dabblers.

Maryz Fri 06-Dec-13 15:03:49

I keep thinking I know people these days.

I can't even remember names irl [sob]. At least people irl can't name change. I'd be fucked.

youretoastmildred Fri 06-Dec-13 15:04:06

buthereagain, you are probably right

it is so lovely to see you but on the other hand it is a bit disappointing when you think you have found a lovely clever person on the internet and it turns out to be one of the ones you already knew about (but then I shall consider you a new discovery because you did get away, and I gutlessly marvelled at your escape and my loss from within the completely non-existent barbed wire)

Hullygully Fri 06-Dec-13 15:04:27

I am just popping by, bruised, battered, maligned and disappointed, to say: what an excellent poem buttherreagain

now I know who you are, and how are you doing?, who the hell are mildred and that japan cat?

Maryz Fri 06-Dec-13 15:05:02



HotheadPaisan Fri 06-Dec-13 15:05:02

Specialist school, much happier thanks, very early days and oh my word, it's been quite a difficult time but onwards and all that.

ButThereAgain Fri 06-Dec-13 15:05:56

Oh I missed that about your son Maryz. How fantastic. Well, you must have a Poetic Bent about your person somewhere that you have passed to him.

Hello hully too.

HotheadPaisan Fri 06-Dec-13 15:07:32

I find the names thing really difficult, and making it clear what I'm replying to, just like chatting on really.

kotinka Fri 06-Dec-13 15:08:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ButThereAgain Fri 06-Dec-13 15:08:31

I hope that works out brilliantly for him hothead.

The japan cat. I had thoughts about who she might be too. But largely I am just confused about everyone.

Hullygully Fri 06-Dec-13 15:09:29

me too hothead

I'm always having to then post, that was for x

Because of course everyone really really cares

youretoastmildred Fri 06-Dec-13 15:09:40

I don't know if I have ever known you, Hothead, but I hope your son likes his new school anyway.

Maryz Fri 06-Dec-13 15:10:59

Hey Hully fsmile

Welcome to my world of peace and love and <grits teeth> Christmas smileys.

This is appropriate fgrin

Today, is here and yesterday, is gone!
Now, it's time, you have to move on!
There's no looking back, what was
before, for it just isn't there, anymore!
You have to look, to the future and it
will show you, the way. For it's the
beginning, of a brand new day! Time,
is the best healer, as everybody knows.
And whatever happens, is the way the
wind blows! Don't ever look back, to
what was before, for it's gone and
forgotten and not here, anymore! For
whatever reason, it was meant to be.
You'll come out unscathed and happy
to be free!
Audrey Heller

Hullygully Fri 06-Dec-13 15:12:21

have you ever known me mildred?

biblically, essentially, disembodied or fleetingly

Maryz Fri 06-Dec-13 15:12:53

Ss schools are great, btw [bitter]. Inclusion is over rated.

ghostonthecanvas Fri 06-Dec-13 15:13:11

Kotinka - thats good. I need to practice I think!

Hullygully Fri 06-Dec-13 15:13:26

That's rubbish tho Mary. One must keep an eye on the past whilst dancng in the present and looking to the future. And not fall over.

kotinka Fri 06-Dec-13 15:13:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HotheadPaisan Fri 06-Dec-13 15:13:37

Sometime the misunderstandings and cross postings are really funny and take the conversation off in a new direction. Other times not, obv.

HotheadPaisan Fri 06-Dec-13 15:13:56

These poems are excellent!

VanitasVanitatum Fri 06-Dec-13 15:14:26

butthereagain wow. I have always wanted to be able to write poetry because I love it but I simply can't. That was a brilliant take off.

Hullygully Fri 06-Dec-13 15:14:50

who was it who spoke of a serious sandwich? Bran? Absy?

A really awful flippant post in between two corkingly serious ones

HotheadPaisan Fri 06-Dec-13 15:14:59

And thank you, youretoast, you gotta hope, it really all couldn't have been much worse. I do this quick sequential posting a lot too.

youretoastmildred Fri 06-Dec-13 15:16:07

What are threads for?
threads are where we live.
They come, they wake us
Time and time over.
They are to be happy in:
Where can we live but threads?

Ah, solving that question
Brings Hully and ButThereAgain
In their long coats
Running over the fields.

HotheadPaisan Fri 06-Dec-13 15:16:29

Inclusion indeed, I could write an essay but I'll spare you. Eyes front.

youretoastmildred Fri 06-Dec-13 15:16:54

I have never met you, Hully

kotinka Fri 06-Dec-13 15:17:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

youretoastmildred Fri 06-Dec-13 15:19:49

well yes but I did not write it! I changed about 3 words in it

Hullygully Fri 06-Dec-13 15:20:07

I ran over a field in a long coat once

that is so like freaky

Maryz Fri 06-Dec-13 15:22:37

ds's is about suicide and a bit morbid.

I will ask him - it's actually very good (once he had explained it to me blush)

Hully, we have to try you know <tuts> To move on from where we are, to put guilt and resentment behind us and start each day full of enthusiasm for what is to come. Can you tell I have emerged from a couple of years of counselling?

Maryz Fri 06-Dec-13 15:23:33

And looking at the poem I just posted shock

It should be banned for cruelty to exclamation marks.

HotheadPaisan Fri 06-Dec-13 15:25:16

I'm all about the now.

Hullygully Fri 06-Dec-13 15:33:49

I'm all about resentment, bitterness and long held grudges. With a soupcon of righteous anger and a dash of wrath.

HotheadPaisan Fri 06-Dec-13 15:38:06

Works for me too.

Maryz Fri 06-Dec-13 15:44:43

I shall send you my counsellor's card grin

It took me years to get beyond the "but he did this/that/whatever and I want to go on and on and on and on about it"

Now I'm all whatever/so/ahwell/letitgo

in theory anyway, I'm still up for a good rant on occasion

youretoastmildred Fri 06-Dec-13 16:09:33

interesting Maryz. But is it because you spent the years doing it, so it's done, and now you don't have to any more; or is there some quick way of never needing to do it?

Maryz Fri 06-Dec-13 16:11:38

No, I had to go through the years of resentment, guilt, anger, grief, grudges, bitterness etc etc.

Sadly there isn't a quick fix. Though valium might have helped.

I am now a pool of calm good sense <lies>

Hullygully Fri 06-Dec-13 16:23:19

I don't understand the letting things go thing

Doesn't that just mean they weren't that important in the first place?

Maryz Fri 06-Dec-13 16:27:24

No, it means the future is more important than remaining in the past, i.e. don't let a miserable past make your future miserable too, iyswim.

I have to go out, sorry.

I will be home at about 8, with a bottle of wine for anyone who wants to have a philosophical discussion [hopeful]

Hullygully Fri 06-Dec-13 16:30:41

I don't think that clocking a wrong and remembering it , while not dying of internal bile, is living in the past. I think it's sensible. Once bitten.

Fairenuff Fri 06-Dec-13 16:31:31

Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?

< deep >

Hullygully Fri 06-Dec-13 16:33:00

Can you be happy knowing a wrong has been done and unrighted?

kotinka Fri 06-Dec-13 16:33:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kotinka Fri 06-Dec-13 16:35:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DisconsolateChimera Fri 06-Dec-13 16:38:13

I don't think one should accept wrongs.

One can't necessarily right them, agreed.

But one shouldn't accept them.

usualsuspect Fri 06-Dec-13 17:16:16

I was afraid you had all gone and started another site without me.

You shouldn't accept wrongness.

But sometimes you have to let it lie.

youretoastmildred Fri 06-Dec-13 17:16:59

I do have a problem with acceptance when it works against action to make things better.
I think acceptance is a happier way to be as an individual than critical. but acceptance didn't cause the civil rights movement, or get women the vote

usualsuspect Fri 06-Dec-13 17:18:14

You won't change MN though.

It's all gone a bit wrong.

youretoastmildred Fri 06-Dec-13 17:19:28

that's why it is so popular as part of the therapisation and individualisation of all approaches to problems. If there is grit in your life, the problem is you . There are things you can do about it if you are organised enough and hard working enough and get a good enough job and take the right drugs. The problem is not OUT THERE. Oh no. we can't change OUT THERE.

StickEmUpSideways Fri 06-Dec-13 17:30:27

Some peoples idea of wrong is also other peoples idea of right.
Where do you go then?

usualsuspect Fri 06-Dec-13 17:34:29

You can have a bunfight debate the ins and outs of the wrongness or rightness.

StickEmUpSideways Fri 06-Dec-13 17:42:19

Well at least mnhq will he happy ... It will take FOREVER to thrash that out grin ie this site will never die

HotheadPaisan Fri 06-Dec-13 17:46:13

My rule of thumb is 'is x sitting moping and miserable about this'. If not then I won't either because it's only making me unhappy.

HotheadPaisan Fri 06-Dec-13 17:47:09

Oh, and it's always everybody else and/or the system. Rarely me.

StickEmUpSideways Fri 06-Dec-13 17:50:19

hothead really hmmgrin

Mintyy Fri 06-Dec-13 19:04:13

Oh, ButThereAgain, you had a thread of the finest poetry ever on Mumsnet didnt you? I sometimes read it when I fear all has gone to pot round here.

Fairenuff Fri 06-Dec-13 19:59:55

We should be able to debate the ins and outs of wrongness or rightness usual but sometimes threads get deleted and then we're not allowed to continue the discussion sad

usualsuspect Fri 06-Dec-13 20:33:09

Well I'm always right,so I don't need to debate really fgrin

Maryz Fri 06-Dec-13 20:39:52

Yes, usual, I'm happy to talk shit.

But I will answer Hully seriously, before lowering myself to your level [snurk]

I have lived for the last 8 years with an insoluble problem (ds). There was no way I could fix it, there was nothing I could do but watch my life and his go down the drain. I fought and fought, and ranted and raved and made myself sick. I spent hours debating the decisions I was making, looking back and seeing all the mistakes I'd made, looking forward and anticipating all the things that might go wrong and desperately trying to stop them before they actually happened.

And then I suddenly realised I couldn't fix the world. I couldn't fix my family. I couldn't fix him. No amount of desperate firefighting was going to fix anything. But I could learn to live with it.

I have an aunt who doesn't speak to any of her children because when they do awful things she stops speaking to them. She doesn't see her grandchildren and is very unhappy.

My mum forgave her mum for being a bitch, she coped with my brother being really awful, she has dealt with her inlaws treating her like shit. And she has held her head up, forgiven when she could, got on well with everyone. She isn't a doormat; she is a very strong person, she just chooses not to sink to other people's levels. So she deals with them when they are there, puts them out of her mind when they are not.

I'm learning from her: deal with ds when he is there. Put away in the back of my mind all the terrible things he has said and done, and start each day afresh. If I didn't I would be so weighed down by the awfulness of it all I couldn't survive (and at one stage I thought I wouldn't, I was on the very edge of giving up).

I know you are talking about the fact that you feel really hard-done-by. If I was you I would feel that too. But in the end, does it really matter? You know what you meant, you know why you are so upset, but does it really matter in the greater scheme of things? Better to take a breath and say "that was yesterday, this is today, we shall carry on".

And if it happens tomorrow, lose the run of yourself, rant and rave again.

But at the end of the day, put it away and start again.

It's the only way I can survive these days.

usualsuspect Fri 06-Dec-13 20:57:41

Sorry for talking shit.

It's what I do best,apparently.

Maryz Fri 06-Dec-13 21:01:00

Yes, I'm rather good at it too.

I enjoy the shit I'm talking about. It's much more interesting that other people's serious discussion.

But we have to remember we are important people, and what may appear to be shit to others is in reality vital conversation, essential to the future of civilisation as we know it.


Fairenuff Fri 06-Dec-13 21:05:29


Fairenuff Fri 06-Dec-13 21:06:21

...for those that believe in Santa God...

BIWI Fri 06-Dec-13 21:07:50

ButThereAgain - hello! I had been wondering who you are. And as for mildred <narrows eyes> you need to give me a clue.

Mintyy Fri 06-Dec-13 21:38:06

God I lovesya Mary.

usualsuspect Fri 06-Dec-13 21:41:43

I'm not quite sure if Maryz is having a go at me or not.


Mintyy Fri 06-Dec-13 21:50:34

She's not usual.

Oh, good, you've all stopped doing poetry <intimidated>

I can talk shite and I can Agree With MaryZ - v wise words, woman, I am sure they are hard earned thanks

Now, could I give you my mum's address and you could send her a wee note saying what you just said with your counsellor's card attached and tell her that IF SHE WANTS ANY KIND OF RELATIONSHIP WITH MY BROTHER SHE HAS TO STOP TRYING TO INTERFERE IN HIS MARRIAGE <and breathe>

I love a good rant. V therapeutic.
As long as you then just pick up again and carry on.
Prolonged moaning about the same thing over and over again, is just hideous.

There once was a fellow McSweeny
Who spilled some gin on his weenie
Just to be couth
He added vermouth
Then slipped his girlfriend a martini

<lowers tone even further>

This is my level of poetry grinblush

You've all run away sad

<drown sorrows in Lemsip>

PDNoFriends <sniff>

Ah. I see. You've gone back to arguing with MNHQ.
I was too scared to rejoin that thread - and missed what started it.
Give my regards to Hully - she sounds bruised.

ghostonthecanvas Fri 06-Dec-13 22:34:04

We have all caught the zen from Maryz wink

Your poem made me snort.

I is a poet

ghostonthecanvas Fri 06-Dec-13 22:34:51

Not cocaine though. Just a noise. Through me nose blush

kotinka Fri 06-Dec-13 22:39:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DisconsolateChimera Fri 06-Dec-13 22:42:49

bless you maryz

Maryz Fri 06-Dec-13 23:07:09

Sorry, sorry, sorry, I thought this thread had died like all my threads do

And I am definitely NOT having a go at usual. I love usual (and everyone on this thread).

mn has kept me sane.

kotinka, usual should really capitalise to avoid that sort of misunderstanding grin

And I'm concerned for Hully. I have been driven to extreme snotty sobbing by mnhq. I'm sure they didn't mean it - they are dealing with gazillions of us, but each of us take it personally because for us it doesn't matter how many others there are, it's just us as individuals who can be hurt sad

ButThereAgain Fri 06-Dec-13 23:07:45

Helloooo BIWI!

I am failing to keep up with the thread. It's only because I am old, it's not because I have spent the whole evening watching I'm A Celebrity. (It is because I have spent the whole evening watching I'm A Celebrity.)

magimedi Fri 06-Dec-13 23:08:47

Well said MaryZ.

And here's my poem (or quote) - and I know it's a biggie with AA but as a lifetime ranter & shouter of 'It's not fair', it has helped me to find some peace over the years:

"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference."

usualsuspect Fri 06-Dec-13 23:14:10


You pompous arse.

madimedi, I love that and I have been known to quote it at my mother blush. With absolutely no effect whatsoever, other than to get her to be pissed off with me too.

It's part of a longer prayer by an American army minister Reinhold Niebuhr:

"God, give me grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next."

I don't follow any kind of faith but I love the 'be reasonably happy in this life' rather than 'ecstatically happy at all times and have firm tits forever' expectation that sets a lot of people up for a lifetime of misery.
At the same time it's not at all defeatist or negative.

It's a great text to try and live one's life by.

Hullygully Fri 06-Dec-13 23:20:11

We now have revisionism on Mn. A whole new world of joy awaits us. See elsewhere

Hullygully Fri 06-Dec-13 23:21:04

I think that's al bollocks

Smash thine enemies in the face and trample them unto the dust

kotinka Fri 06-Dec-13 23:24:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Or that, Hully, or that - I think you need a bit of smiting just now grin

usualsuspect Fri 06-Dec-13 23:25:38

Yes, hold that grudge for ever.


Hullygully Fri 06-Dec-13 23:26:47

Seriously, has anyone seen any other deletion message altered AFTER THE FACT before??

Is it normal?

Nope. Not seen it before and not normal.

Maryz Fri 06-Dec-13 23:29:07

I've been watching ImACleb too.

I have been conned by Amy but saw the light. I'm surprised at how sorry I am to see Joey go sad

I am fickle.

Pacific, I have RANTED about that serenity bollocks. Ranted and raved and howled at the moon.

usualsuspect Fri 06-Dec-13 23:29:17

Has a deletion message been altered?

What's going on ?

Maryz Fri 06-Dec-13 23:29:34

Nope, Hully. And I've commented on t'fred.

usualsuspect Fri 06-Dec-13 23:31:24


Please explain slowly.

Hullygully Fri 06-Dec-13 23:33:15

My thread that wa sdeleted for being "a fred about a fed" is now deleted for being "a fred about a fed, and, we thought, deliberately inflammatory"

You'd laugh if they'd stop the water boarding long enough

Ranting is good - it cleanses the soul.
And then you carry on "living one day at a time".

I think you have achieved far greater bollocks serenity than you care to admit to - except when you're ranting grin.

Hullygully Fri 06-Dec-13 23:33:45

fed = fred

Maryz Fri 06-Dec-13 23:37:11

They changed the deletion message, very unfairly imo.


usualsuspect Fri 06-Dec-13 23:37:32

It's all a bit not quite right.

There you go - do you feel better now?

I thought this was the happy, fluffy fred with kittens and unicorns?

usualsuspect Fri 06-Dec-13 23:46:02

No I don't feel better.

I'm sad.

Sad for MN.

Maryz Fri 06-Dec-13 23:46:52

It was, Pacific.

But injustices are unjust. Even on kitten freds sad

usual, the 'feeling better* comment was at MaryZ for having ranted. Sorry.

MN is what it is.
And it's not ours.
But it still is what we make of it

<spreads the love>

usualsuspect Sat 07-Dec-13 00:02:33

It is ours though.

Without us,there would be no MN.

I know.
That's why I hate it when the good ones flounce - no matter how understandable their flouncing reasons might be sad

Maryz Sat 07-Dec-13 00:05:51

Trouble is, usual, they could do without those of us who have been here since the dawn of time. They would replace us happily with newbies.

Of course they might miss the sensible advice on the serious support boards. But numbers-wise they would keep up with inane threads on aibu, so in fact (numbers wise, whatever about sensible advice wise) us disappearing wouldn't bother them at all.


usualsuspect Sat 07-Dec-13 00:09:39

I know Maryz.

We are just numbers and advertising revenue.

As long as mummytojake3343xx posts, it doesn't really matter does it?

I do wonder in my more paranoid moments, what demographic they are after?? The ones that bring lots of advertisers? And who are those?
Will I do?? <insecure>

I'm done in and off to bed.

Maryz Sat 07-Dec-13 00:12:42

No, you are too sensible old Pacific.

How many of the ads do you click on.

Me, the answer is none. So I'm a waste of space, income wise [sigh]

Night all.

Hully: ((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))

usualsuspect Sat 07-Dec-13 00:16:06

I have ad blocker on my pc.grin

I'm going to bed with a heavy heart.

ButThereAgain Sat 07-Dec-13 08:52:27

I have ad blocker too. It was my tiny and impotent revenge when so many adverts came right into the threads themselves. Before that I was happy to have whatever noisy dross the advertisers wanted to pay for in the spaces around the conversations. The paid-for threads make me feel like the come-hither women on late night telly-adverts offering chat-at-a-price -- "I talk hot, I talk dirty, I talk brands and buying" <smouldering pout>

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights Sat 07-Dec-13 09:05:07

Very confused - as per. I haven't seen the/any other thread/s . Hully - I assume you are getting the rough end of MN again sad wine

I AM too old sensible, that must be it, yy.
The only time I have even clicked on any of the ads has been by accident or when I was swatting a small child's hand away from the laptop blush.

I am lurking on the other thread, but am trying not to get sucked in.

Can't we just all be friends? <wrings hands>

Seriously, I like robust debate, this whole deleting nonsense is going too far IMO.

And poor Hully gets it in the neck, as per sad.

ghostonthecanvas Sat 07-Dec-13 10:51:47

The unicorns have all hidden with the kittens. sad I missed the first fred. Lurked a bit on others. Just found out that they altered the thread deletion message. I am not happy. At all.
Staff changes within any company changes that companies dynamics. Not always for the better. I wouldn't class myself as long term on here but I have seen a change in the way it all feels.
I know that many long time posters feel that name changing is not always ethical but I am curious. What would happen if everyone name changed for, say a week? What would the goady fuckers do? I think they have agendas. I would be surprised if they continued. I know HQ would still know who you were but it could lead to some interesting times.
Also, sorry I never turned all that into a poem.

ShreddedHoops Sat 07-Dec-13 11:11:35

'Without us, there would be no MN' grin

BIWI Sat 07-Dec-13 11:12:13

ButThereAgain. Watching I'm A Celebrity? Sorry, but that does not compute!

usualsuspect Sat 07-Dec-13 11:22:10

I meant 'us' as in members.

'Without us, there would be no MN'

So we just have to keep posting, shite and more serious stuff.
And stay serene grin[goads MaryZ]

Maryz Sat 07-Dec-13 11:56:57

Sadly, without us, MN would continue happily.

Of course we all know it would be much poorer for our departure, but soon everyone would forget all about us, and a new generation of oldies could take the flak.

We could return as name-changing goaders newbies and cause havoc, perhaps?

You didn't respond to my goading!

See, perfect example on how to deal with goady fuckers grin.

I don't think I could fake being a newbie anymore - I used to have a 'mummy' name FGS shock

ShreddedHoops Sat 07-Dec-13 12:02:26

I don't understand how the deletion of a couple of threads can be blamed on namechangers, and if I were a more easily offended person I might consider taking offence at the frequent link of goadiness to namechangers. I don't (intentionally) goad and I don't randomly report either. The only reports I can recall making are for spam. Really, there are hundreds of thousands of posters, some of whom regularly namechange for whatever reason - I don't think HQ would be especially bothered if a dozen or so posters threw a wobbly and flounced... and apart from a few rubberneckers like me, it's you lot who are getting a bit navel-gazey and obsessive about all this - just keep posting - MN is its posters as usual said. All of them, whether you or I or anyone else like all of them or not.

Maryz Sat 07-Dec-13 12:10:45

Not all goaders are namechangers.

Not all namechangers are goady (obviously, there are millions of posters, few are in any way goady at all).

You are right, they wouldn't care if any of us flounced. None of us are bigger than the site. But we are allowed to sit around a moan and navel-gaze if we want to.

ButThereAgain Sat 07-Dec-13 12:41:23

Oh, sadly it does, BIWI. Me and DS2 watch it together. It is a bonding experience. It's not unlike mumsnet, really. Lots of fallings out and earnest discussion of the tiniest details of controversies. grin Of course, I read Proust in the commercial breaks for penance.

Maryz Sat 07-Dec-13 12:45:35

The trouble with ImACleb this year is that they fooled me us all.

I started off thinking Amy was a bit silly, but mostly nice and naive, and that Lucy was a right cow. But then I realised belatedly that it was all in the edit.

So I feel a bit stupid, which has put me off it completely sad

ButThereAgain Sat 07-Dec-13 12:48:52

Yes, that's probably right. I feel heartened though by what a nice, humane, and reasonably intelligent bunch of people they are for the most part, though. It warms the cockles to know that there are slebs like that.

BIWI Sat 07-Dec-13 12:49:35

grin @ Proust

ButThereAgain Sat 07-Dec-13 12:51:00

I don't mean" Yes, that's right to are probably stupid"grin -- I mean "Yes that's right the edit probably was manipulative and misleading."

It's like eating food with transfatty acids in. Poisonous but a bit addictive.

ButThereAgain Sat 07-Dec-13 12:52:04

Or are transfatty acids the good ones? <completely losing all Wanker credentials>

Maryz Sat 07-Dec-13 12:57:08

No idea. Have some cake full of all sorts of fats.

ButThereAgain Sat 07-Dec-13 12:58:38

Thank you. And here's some wine to go with it.

KateSMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 07-Dec-13 13:24:06


Thank you for the vair excellent poetry.

AIBU is the cruelest topic, breeding
Bunfights out of dead threads, mixing
judgeypants with desire.

KateSMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 07-Dec-13 13:34:51

<worries I have completely ruined thread>

They fuck up MNHQ,
They may not mean to, but they do
The fill threads with blue highlighted posts
And create new ones, just for you

Maryz Sat 07-Dec-13 13:38:18

I like the second one Kate. I'm not so keen on haiku-like stuff (was the first one a haiku?) mainly because I'm not clever enough to condense anything into a few words.

I believe in the power of quantity over quality when it comes to talking shite grin

KateSMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 07-Dec-13 13:43:53


I like the second one Kate. I'm not so keen on haiku-like stuff (was the first one a haiku?) mainly because I'm not clever enough to condense anything into a few words.

I believe in the power of quantity over quality when it comes to talking shite grin

grin First one was a naff take on the beginning of The Wasteland, inspired by ButThereAgain - I think she did it better.

Maryz Sat 07-Dec-13 13:46:19

Aha [lightbulb]

I never got Eliot at all. He does sound Haiku-ish in that, doesn't he?

As I said above, I'm a Poetry Philistine.

HotheadPaisan Sat 07-Dec-13 14:12:46

I like them both, very good.

time is past and present and in the future all around little gidding and three other places.

My summary of the four quartets for MaryZ

KateSMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 07-Dec-13 15:08:40


time is past and present and in the future all around little gidding and three other places.

My summary of the four quartets for MaryZ

Arf. How about The Wasteland Limmericks? I luffs Wendy Cope.

kotinka Sat 07-Dec-13 16:24:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KateSMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 07-Dec-13 16:37:01


KateSMumsnet is that 2nd one Larkin inspired? Very good!

<takes a bow>

ButThereAgain Sat 07-Dec-13 20:23:22

Why are you so angry about them moon? Have you read them? They aren't the "What I did with my child today and what we had for lunch" kind of thing (and even if they were I wouldn't really understand your anger).

ButThereAgain Sat 07-Dec-13 20:25:33

Whoops. Total wrong thread. This is what tablets do to me.

Computer tablets I mean. I'm not befuddled by reacreational drugs.

HotheadPaisan Sat 07-Dec-13 21:17:11

That sounds intriguing, now I'm going to have to stalk you to see what it was in reply to. And I thought you meant prescription tablets, but only because in my frame of reference.

ButThereAgain Sat 07-Dec-13 21:25:55

Grr I've done that a couple of times recently. It wasn't anything terribly interesting, hothead. I was just responding to someone who started a really bizarrely angry thread in AIBU about the guest blogs on mn. People find odd things to get angry about.

HotheadPaisan Sat 07-Dec-13 21:29:51

Ah, I hid AIBU many years ago. I roam Active and Last 15 mins and pounce where I can. I though the philosophy section talk earlier was interesting. I don't venture there, think I may even had it hidden but maybe I shouldn't.

ButThereAgain Sat 07-Dec-13 21:41:13

I used to hide some topics but I don't think I've got anything hidden now. I've never really noticed a difference between AIBU threads and threads elsewhere. THey all seem to have the same capacity to get horribly fighty. I just graze in Active Convos without really noticing what topics I'm posting in.

Oh, I love the Refrigerator haiku - a bit of randomness amuses me no end.

The answer to everything...

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