Mumsnet merchandise - your input needed please

(596 Posts)
JustineMumsnet Belgium (MNHQ) Fri 15-Nov-13 12:02:43

Hi all

After years of being asked to come up with MN merchandise and (aside from some incredibly tight t-shirts with virtual mother on them way back in the early-2000s) pretty much sticking our collective fingers in our ears, we've finally found someone who can help us produce and sell a qualiteee online range - hopefully available in time for Christmas. And we're looking for your input.

We reckon a range of T-shirts, sweatshirts, hoodies and mugs with Mumsnet in-jokes/ popular phrases - which is what folks have mentioned in the past - but is there anything else we've collectively missed? And what do you want on them? A T-shirt telling all and sundry to LTB? A mug asking whether YABU? A hoody announcing that it' really best to RTFT?

Ideas very much welcome please grin

babsmam Fri 15-Nov-13 12:10:42

Rtft?

AnnaConda Fri 15-Nov-13 12:13:09

A pocket diary, or family organiser diary perhaps?

MsInterpret Fri 15-Nov-13 12:19:34

RTFT= Read the fucking thread.

FairyJen Fri 15-Nov-13 12:22:33

Cunt bunting is surely a must have?

ArtisanLentilWeaver Fri 15-Nov-13 12:24:10

A tiny emoticon badge/brooch type thing.
Tiny.

BuzzardBird Fri 15-Nov-13 12:25:15

I want a scarf with RTFT, LTB and LDA (lemon drizzle anyone) on it.

Indith Fri 15-Nov-13 12:26:35

Oh gosh. Problem with popular phrases is they change so often. Even a top with "pombear anyone?" is more likely to get a "huh?" than a giggle let alone a "Is that you UCM?" mug or an "In Cod we trust" hoody.

AnnoyedByAlfieBear Fri 15-Nov-13 12:26:46

I like the brew idea.

BuzzardBird Fri 15-Nov-13 12:26:49

...and PO (Professionally Offended)

DaleyBump Fri 15-Nov-13 12:29:47

I would love a mug with a biscuit on it grin

I want a mug with the hmm face on it. Sums me up perfectly!

Sparklingbrook Fri 15-Nov-13 12:40:01

'Mumsnetter on Board' for the car?

A mug with YABU on and the MN Logo

I'd like a tshirt which says DFONTAD! wink grin

Sparklingbrook Fri 15-Nov-13 12:45:04

Something with 'Did you mean to be so rude' on?

NomDeClavier Fri 15-Nov-13 12:45:15

Definitely a YABU mug. It will go in DH's stocking.

Sparklingbrook Fri 15-Nov-13 12:48:32

I think you will need to be v careful with any t-shirts/hoodies. Risk of looking tacky IYKWIM.

Pascha Fri 15-Nov-13 12:52:45

What could we put ODFOD on? Now that could work as a bumper sticker.

RubyRR Fri 15-Nov-13 12:53:38

A sandwich box with naice ham on so I can take my sandwiches to work and out myself

RubyRR Fri 15-Nov-13 12:54:27

Also will they be nice mugs or the horrible ones they seem to like printing photos on?

I wouldn't want something that had the MN logo on, but something more subtle would be good.

Sparklingbrook Fri 15-Nov-13 12:56:43

YY please make them look nice and be good quality. <worries>

MN doesn't deserve crappy merchandise-it needs to be good.

milkwasabadchoice Fri 15-Nov-13 12:57:57

I wouldn't buy or wear any kind of hoody or t-shirt even if it was style and beauty approved. But a mug saying yabu on one side and yanbu on the other I would buy. So depending on what you think of the person you are having tea with you can display the appropriate side!

Or a mug saying Mumsnet Royal Tea ! Hah genius.

I might buy an official mumsnet scarf too.

RubyRR Fri 15-Nov-13 12:58:18

I'm getting into this, what was the zombie back pack one? I'd like a small bag to carry round with random letters on I can waffle about zombies if anyone asks, should get me a seat by myself.

GoofyIsACow Fri 15-Nov-13 12:59:40

Cake tins/boxes with 'i'm not a citrus titted arsepart' on them

YABU car sticker

'My yoni says no'ni' for the hardcores!

GoofyIsACow Fri 15-Nov-13 13:00:44

A lady brought her son into my restaurant last night looking for a job, she was wearing a MN scarf... So I gave him one!

GoofyIsACow Fri 15-Nov-13 13:01:07

SHIT... A JOB...I GAVE HIM A JOB blush

VelvetStrider Fri 15-Nov-13 13:01:11

Judgy pants obviously. And a matching bra that looks like this biscuitbiscuit.

And yes, a really tiny pin badge that we can wear like secret society members, and give each other knowing looks when we see them.

I'd buy a Mumsnetter on Board car sticker.

Also something with "did you mean to be so rude?".

Not sure about clothing- maybe a scarf would be ok or a reusable shopping bag with all the mumsnet phrases on.

Sparklingbrook Fri 15-Nov-13 13:04:03

Oh yes, a shopping bag would look good round Waitrose. wink

'AIBU to save the planet with this reusable bag'.

I would use mine with pride in Iceland.

StuartMN Fri 15-Nov-13 13:05:00

Hello all,

I'm looking after this at MNHQ, so just wanted to answer a couple of questions which have come up so far.

- We're using a print on demand company, so there are limits to the range we can offer. To start with that'll mean t shirts (with fits for men and women), hoodies and mugs, but we can add more once we've proved that these work. We'll also do some kids shirts if people want them.

- We're going to have a fairly large range comprising most of the well known (and appropriate) abbreviations, and you'll be able to choose tee, mug or hoodie for these. Some people will be comfortable with anything on a T shirt, and some won't. We get that, so do bring on the ideas. As the products will be print on demand we can (within reason) give ideas a try. If individual designs don't work so well, it isn't the end of the world.

- The good news is that we'll be paying a commission on every sale (£1 for shirts, 50p for mugs) to the MNer who comes up with the original designs which make it into the store. You don't have to be a designer (although if you are, design away!), you can just describe a concept. A back of fag packet approach is fine, just convey your idea in as much detail as you can. Feel free to send me a message with your ideas if you fear the ridicule heresmile. I'll only laugh if the idea is funny, I promise.

Needless to say, all our clothing will be ethically sound. We're printing in the UK, and we'll also be offering a range of organically approved shirts as well.

Lastly, if my wife happens to be reading this, yes YABU if you put a LTB mug in my stocking for Christmas Day smile.

Stuart

Sparklingbrook Fri 15-Nov-13 13:09:12

<waves to Stuart>

All sounds great.

Indith Fri 15-Nov-13 13:10:53

I'm not sure I'd buy clothing.

I'd be very tempted by a shopping bag with a shopping list on it though. Stuff like naice ham, and pombears hiding amongst loo roll, onions and stuff. A few crossings out, perhaps a mooncup hidden in the list. Different colour and 2 different writing styles, abbreviations, (for kids) or chocolate (grown up) and stuff. The sort of things we all love speculating about when someone finds a list.

Oh please can we have reusable shopping bags?

"Naice bag"

Goofy grin

Oh yes, how about an OFRS?

DottyDot Fri 15-Nov-13 13:15:33

ooh yes a nice mug (not too thick - one for laydees) with all the smileys on would be fab - would definitely buy one

GoofyIsACow Fri 15-Nov-13 13:17:16

Naice bag... Amazing!

GoofyIsACow Fri 15-Nov-13 13:18:40

I would definitely buy a BFL with something funny on! Shopping list is a great idea, or i like AIBU for saving the planet by using this bag! Indith and Sparkling ^^

NomDeClavier Fri 15-Nov-13 13:21:14

I think there's also market for a nest of vipers graphic on a mug, possibly a t-shirt...

A range of judgy pants.

IamtheZombie Fri 15-Nov-13 13:22:45

May Zombie have an IamtheZombie mug, please? grin

Zombie really likes the idea of a shopping bag.

How about a tee / hoodie with Zombie Rocks? You could use the Zombie thread alert icon on it.

Minceandslicesofquince Fri 15-Nov-13 13:23:39

I like the idea of a planner / organiser / calendar. I'd rather have something useful.

MmeLindor Germany Fri 15-Nov-13 13:23:42

Please please please - no 'yoni' or 'penisbeaker' merchandise.

Baby muslin squares with 'AIBU to [boak]' written on them.

Hipflask with 'Softplay Gin'

Blue badge holder with 'Yes, you ARE being unreasonable, and no, I won't explain why I have this badge' #controversial

Indith Fri 15-Nov-13 13:24:49

"Naice Bag" is great!

MmeLindor Germany Fri 15-Nov-13 13:26:20

I love 'naice bag' and could we have a box for the fridge with 'naice ham' written on it?

youretoastmildred Fri 15-Nov-13 13:28:15

A note book to be used by the phone or in a hand bag, printed (only at one of the margins) with some useful messages that can be wordlessly handed to members of the public, when necessary, with no further comment

"did you mean to be so rude?"
"your balls are not that big. Put your legs together"
"I JUDGE"
"RED FLAG"

etc

Sparklingbrook Fri 15-Nov-13 13:32:05

YY to no tasteless bumsex/OxoTower/CentreParcs/ Yoni crap. And especially not penisbeaker.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones Uruguay Fri 15-Nov-13 13:33:30

Pleeeeeease can I have a mug with the MN logo on? One like this > brew I know it's not the most original/exciting idea - but I've wanted one, like, forever.

Arohaitis Fri 15-Nov-13 13:33:40

Don't you already have stuff like this?

toffeesponge Fri 15-Nov-13 13:34:54

Something useful like a wall planner or a diary. Not a juvenile t-shirt with RTFT or LTB on it.

I think the MN in-joke I'd be most likely to buy on merchandise would be [bsicuit], just because to anyone not on MN it wouldn't make any sense, but also be less likely to invite questions than an acronym.

Or biscuit. I can spell, honest.

toffeesponge Fri 15-Nov-13 13:38:49

grin at Goofy.

I'd buy a YABU hoody.

And a mug.

moojie Fri 15-Nov-13 13:46:24

I wouldn't buy clothing but I would buy a mug or a bag for life. I'm not sure who would buy clothing to be honest?...

Tidypidy Fri 15-Nov-13 13:48:27

Maybe a phone cover or sleeve for tablets with something like "don't mind me I'm just mning"

I think a t-shirt with the word (hmm) in square brackets or the word biscuit instead of the picture would be good.

snice Fri 15-Nov-13 13:51:06

PLEASE no smutty stuff-the whole penisbeaker affair was bad enough but any minute now people will be on asking for T shirts saying 'take me up the Oxo Tower' and 'if its Friday it must be bumsex' etc

A nice shopping bag, some YABU mugs and a biscuit tin with the biscuit logo should do nicely thank you

<adjusts pince-nez>

Actually a biscuit tin with biscuit? on it and mugs with brew? would do nicely

snice Fri 15-Nov-13 13:52:07

ie with the logo then question marks

Indith Fri 15-Nov-13 13:52:24

Agree about clothing. The last time I bought a hoody with a logo was when I was an undergrad (for the first time, now an undergrad again grin). Planners and shopping bags and mugs I reckon.

Merrylegs Chile Fri 15-Nov-13 13:55:21

An orange t shirt with [klaxon]

JaquelineHyde England Fri 15-Nov-13 14:05:24

I have some stuff packed away somewhere that I bought years ago from another Mner who designed and had printed a few bits and pieces.

I think it is a tote shopping bag and some badges! Was years ago though.

I think if you're starting off with hoodies and Tshirts and seeing how many you sell, you may be disappointed. From both the feel of this thread and previous ones, I think that although people get excited about the idea of tshirts, they are far more likely to buy mugs, bags, planners.

I think i'm probably one of the more hoody-inclined on mumsnet, being vaguely recently out of university, and even I wouldn't go for the clothing, but would snap up a bag without hesitating!

On a separate note, LOVING the shopping list bag idea, the biscuit on a biscuit tin/tea on a mug, and "did you mean to be so rude" (and also "no is a complete sentence" on ANYTHING. smile

I think a bone china mug with YANBU on one side and YABU on the other, would be rather good.

And maybe a tiny pin brooch with a biscuit.

BoreOfWhabylon Fri 15-Nov-13 14:15:59

A MN scarf with 'Yes this is a MN scarf' printed in v small writing around the edge.

I'd wear that.

Sparklingbrook Fri 15-Nov-13 14:19:06

There has to be room for a 'I'd rather be Mumsnetting' or similar.

BoreOfWhabylon Fri 15-Nov-13 14:19:19

And, although I wouldn't wear Tshirt/hoody with MN slogans - for reasons others have already given - I might wear a snuggly onesie or slanket!

StuartMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 15-Nov-13 14:19:20

RevealTheHiddenBeach thanks. I'll talk to our supplier, but frankly if we sell a million mugs and one tee then that'll give them the confidence to try other stuff. However to start with we are limited to those three things, although we might be able to do some car window stickers.

wheretoyougonow Fri 15-Nov-13 14:28:08

Please please sell a hoodie with,
Jesus in a Cabbage Van

I would so buy this!!!

Sparklingbrook Fri 15-Nov-13 14:33:40

Yes, a nightie with 'AIBU to go to bed?' grin

Imagine walking down the street in the hoodie then seeing someone wearing the same. What's the etiquette? <worries>

StuartMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 15-Nov-13 14:35:47

sparklingbrook socially awkward fist bumps. It really is the only way.

Sparklingbrook Fri 15-Nov-13 14:38:15

grin StuartMN of course. grin

MikeTheShite Fri 15-Nov-13 14:38:33

I agree I would do a mug and biscuit tin

Antidote Fri 15-Nov-13 14:38:58

I would definitely buy mugs and a shopping bag.

I would also buy YABU baby grows.

Sparklingbrook Fri 15-Nov-13 14:42:46

Keyrings and pens would be good.

Suddengeekgirl Fri 15-Nov-13 14:48:12

I would like to choose a mug with my favourite MN smiley on. confused
I'd also like to have YABU written on the bottom for those PA moments when someone is pissing me off!

Don't think I would buy MN clothing but the bag for life would be fab!

MmeLindor Germany Fri 15-Nov-13 14:50:04

I don't think I would wear a tshirt or a hoody. Might wear a comfy pair of PJs.

And fluffy slippers.

Are you SURE this isn't Gransnet?

HectorVector Fri 15-Nov-13 14:53:51

I wouldn't buy clothes. But reusable shopping bags, book bags etc... with 'in' acronyms on maybe. Maybe a mug. A well organised diary and/or calendar, pen, shopping list book, notebooks etc...

TheDoctrineOfWho Fri 15-Nov-13 15:01:12

Stuart, PM SGB for her thoughts - she's done badges in the past.

MikeTheShite Fri 15-Nov-13 15:02:59

and pj's and babygros sound a good idea x

YoniMatopoeia Fri 15-Nov-13 15:05:47

TSSDNCOP. I WANT one with that.

YoniMatopoeia Fri 15-Nov-13 15:06:23

Oops for unwanted caps.

Charleymouse Fri 15-Nov-13 15:07:46

Out of the items you list a mug would be the only one I would buy.

Deffo would buy the shopping bag, also magnetic shopping list and pen for the fridge!

Merrylegs Chile Fri 15-Nov-13 15:08:49

'That's my parking space!'

(toddler T shirt)

Meglet England Fri 15-Nov-13 15:09:03

I'd like a white mug with the hmm face. And the inside of the mug to be mumsnet blue (like tiffany blue but swearier and fewer diamonds).

Patchouli Fri 15-Nov-13 15:09:44

I'd quite like something with hmm on.
And I like the organiser, meal planner / shopping list notebook idea.

Indith Fri 15-Nov-13 15:09:54

Do you think Stuart has gone to find a brick wall to bash his head against yet? "I TOLD THEM IT WAS JUST CLOTHES AND MUGS AND THEY KEEP GOING ON ABOUT PLANNERS AND BAGS!" Justine will have to patch him up and feed him gin.

sunbathe Fri 15-Nov-13 15:14:33

I wouldn't buy clothing, but the mug with hmm or YANBU/YABU.

Tiny badge would be good. A range of designs, small and discreet.

I'm not into the clothing, it's too obvious.

snice Fri 15-Nov-13 15:14:34

he has opened a can of worms he could not have imagined-we are busy designing products willy nilly

coppertop Fri 15-Nov-13 15:14:42

I'd like a mug with a troll design and 'Trip Trap' under.

Or a hairy-handed trucker mug (hairy hand next to a picture of a truck?)

<obscure>

thegreylady Fri 15-Nov-13 15:15:33

Some big judgy pants
Some fake pearls to hoik as well and a 'biscuit' badge smile

HectorVector Fri 15-Nov-13 15:16:11

Ohhhh and as someone said up thread I reckon I'd buy a biscuit tin with a biscuit on,

StuartMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 15-Nov-13 15:18:02

It has been a crash course in MN in-jokery, that's for sure. In the clothing catalogue I can find some lovely gilets and even a wolf howling at the moon fleece. I have not yet seen whatever it is a "judgy pant" might be. smile

RubyRR Fri 15-Nov-13 15:20:39

A lemon drizzle cake cake tin, it's all about the memories and associations I think.

I think I'd like a mug with a wooly hug picture on it, wrapped round the outside so it looked knitted, please pick that idea as I really need a knitted look mug and I think it would show the warmer side of mumsnet.

MrsKitty Fri 15-Nov-13 15:21:11

grin gringrin at goofyisacow and what she gives to random MNetter's sons...

I think the shopping bag is a great idea (sorry Stuart, I know it's not a tee or hoodie, but I think you might be barking up the wrong tree with those...)

RubyRR Fri 15-Nov-13 15:21:38

Judge pants which go up to your neck, think big pants possible with arm holes to keep them hoisted really high.

StuartMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 15-Nov-13 15:24:30

We're on the case with tote bags. If we can, we'll do them. That's basically a T shirt with handles, right?

MmeLindor Germany Fri 15-Nov-13 15:26:06

Could we go with RubyRR's idea of the WoollyHugs and have something like this, with MN logo on the handle or the base, and a % of the proceeds going to the WoollyHug team?

I would buy lots of those.

I'd buy a mumsnet mug and would be tempted by a small pin with the mn logo on it so I could wear it subversively, but other MNers would know.

I'd have to see the clothing before I knew if I wanted to buy it.

MmeLindor Germany Fri 15-Nov-13 15:27:13

Only problem would be, that I wouldn't be able to use the WoollyMug without weeping into my tea.

Can we copyright that as MNWoollyMug please?

Indith Fri 15-Nov-13 15:28:26

woolly hug stuff would be lovely. and yes yes to money going to a good cause.

RubyRR Fri 15-Nov-13 15:29:29

Baby grows with PFB on? The perfect gift. Also child's size DS or DD T shirts, I'm not sure I'd take my children out in them (they are teens and just wouldn't) but younger ones at soft play you could play spot the MNer.
What about an iPad case or phone case with just for MNing on? People could tell their children it was a mumsnet tablet.

Lemon Drizzle Cunt merchandise! I could go for some LDC cunt bunting grin

ChippingInLovesAutumn Fri 15-Nov-13 15:36:49

Ignores Stuart who only thinks he's nailed down the starting merchandise - he's got a lot to learn grin and I think if he doesn't reconsider, his wife should definitely put a mug in his stocking...

I wouldn't buy clothes, I might buy a mug if it was a nice fine china mug not an ugly chunky thing.

I would definitely buy...

Teeny tiny badge (no bigger than a 20p piece)

The MN Mug emoticon gets my vote.

Tea Towels

I would buy good quality white 100% cotton tea-towels with lots of different phrases written all over it (white with MN blue printing) - like the ones they use for the kids drawings at Christmas.

Bag for life

Like these or these proper shopping bags - with any of the sayings really, but I'd like 'I'd rather be MNing smile'

Also the light roll up ones like these

Plus other random stuff - but I don't want to overwhelm poor Stuart smile

sunbathe Fri 15-Nov-13 15:38:27

Earrings with hmm on, would be fab.

Those rubber band bracelets with emoticons on. I fancy a row of hmms with maybe some wee humphy brackets next to them. < >

RubyRR Fri 15-Nov-13 15:40:48

I could not seeing myself wearing the funnier acronyms as T shirts, what about tea towels? Not very exciting but lemon drizzle cake (LDC) for interpretation on the C, AIBU, WWYD, or even a towel set out as classic board/any other board obviously not sensitive ones. LTB would be good too in case we ever don't do exactly 50% fair share of housework. Could keep toMN colours as they will suit my kitchen.

StuartMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 15-Nov-13 15:41:05

<Goes to find darkest corner of MNHQ for a bit of a sit down>

Tee2072 Fri 15-Nov-13 15:41:18

I'm a little nervous about all this talk about choosing Tee(s)... grin

I suppose a tee with one of those big red circles and line through the Netmums logo is out of the question?

Sparklingbrook Fri 15-Nov-13 15:42:16

StuartMN will be starting his own AIBU in a minute. It's hoodies, sweatshirts T-Shirts and Mugs only at the moment. And maybe a tote bag. grin

Tee2072 Fri 15-Nov-13 15:43:01

Also, I like MMeL's idea. I forgot to say that.

Poor Stuart. Thrown right into the deep end. [gin], wine and cake for him!

RubyRR Fri 15-Nov-13 15:43:13

My first ever biscuit should feature on something, as though the first one is more important than a second, third etc.

sunbathe Fri 15-Nov-13 15:48:31

Pens, notebook and coasters I like the idea of, too.

MmeLindor Germany Fri 15-Nov-13 15:49:08

Tea towels, I like that idea

sunbathe Fri 15-Nov-13 15:50:07

<hands over cold flannel to Stuart>

SixtyFootDoll Fri 15-Nov-13 15:51:59

Baby vests/ bibs with PFB on?

Treasures Fri 15-Nov-13 15:52:56

I would happily wear a tee with ODFOD and hmm on it. I'd wear it when I knew I'd be spending time with people who piss me off.

MoldieOldNaiceHam Fri 15-Nov-13 15:54:59

I wouldn't be caught dead in a Mumsnet t-shirt or hoody. HTH grin

Frettchen Fri 15-Nov-13 15:55:28

Seconding (or thirding or whatever) the idea of a mug with TSSDNCOP on it.

Otherwise I'd happily wear a MN hoodie depending on what was on it... Gonna have a think about what should go on a hoodie. Will be back.

sunbathe Fri 15-Nov-13 15:57:59

Can we have one of those water filled pens with our choice of emoticon in it, that slides up and down?

I really like those. My favourite pen at the moment is like that, with a Stena ferry in it.

<childish>

ScienceRocks Fri 15-Nov-13 16:00:46

Can we have colour changing mugs that say AIBU when cold and LTB when hot please?

Wouldn't wear anything mney (I have boden for that wink) but I would use a tea towel that had a list of mn acronyms on. I'm also quite like some mn notecards please.

All I want is a MN scarf with the logo all over it like the butterfly one. In MN Blue.

choccyp1g Portugal Fri 15-Nov-13 16:04:02

No, just NO don't do any merchandise.

Can I have 50P for every item you don't sell?

Willemdefoeismine Fri 15-Nov-13 16:10:54

What about a small pin which shows one's allegiance to MN......It could change on a yearly basis (a bit like the on-trend scarf!)...

EldritchCleavage Fri 15-Nov-13 16:13:30

Horrific idea. MN is my dirty little secret, I'm not going to announce to the world that I spend my days on here by wearing MN merchandise.

I would love a tshirt saying
hmm confused grin
or one that says "did you mean to be so rude" on the front and "DFONTAD" on the back.

StuartMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 15-Nov-13 16:16:58

sunbathe how about one of those rulers which showed different pictures depending on which way you tipped it, and which you invariably bought in the zoo gift shop after a school trip (or am I showing my great age?)?

T Shirts. Hoodies. Mugs. Totes. Random tat from the London Zoo Gift Shop.

Anything else? smile

Oo, ooh, ooh, or MNs own line of pants with a small tab on the back for judgy hiking! grin

hoiking!

K8Middleton Fri 15-Nov-13 16:23:23

Oh well if we're talking commission then I think you need to take note that it was I who came up with Cunt Bunting along with other ironic homewares and aprons wink grin

Tea towels and aprons are the best I think. And mugs. And cake tins.

Products
Aprons: I'm with Bitch Face
Lemon Drizzle fo' shizzle
FFS!
^YANBU

Cake tin: Plain with Do not punch this cake round the side

Tea Towels: Fuck The Fuck Off To The Far Side Of Fuck and When You Get There Fuck Off Some More
FFS!

IHadADreamThatWasNotAllADream Fri 15-Nov-13 16:29:52

Definitely a backpack labelled OFRS for the second wave. And a butter dish with Never Google and the little welsh dragon logo on it (slightly specialised).

I would definitely pay cash money for a TSSDNCOP mug.

And a T shirt for ages two to three labelled "Never mind Mum, This Too Shall Pass"

sunbathe Fri 15-Nov-13 16:34:17

Ooh, weirdy ruler=good!

Also keyrings.

MmeLindor Germany Fri 15-Nov-13 16:35:59

Maybe 'This Too Shall Pass' on the gin hipflask?

Penis mug with biscuit being dipped in it by Gordon Brown grin

With on the back 'only on Fridays'

GoofyIsACow Fri 15-Nov-13 16:38:12

Someone remind me what TSSDNCOP is please...

MoldieOldNaiceHam Fri 15-Nov-13 16:38:33

I do like Naice Bag. For one's Naice ham.

Must have shopping list holder.

Actually if you really want to shift some stuff, market little silicon bangles with slogans on which can be bought by mumsnetters for mumsnetters only - so for example, mumsnetter A thinks Mumsnetter B is wonderful and orders for a bangle to be sent to her as a gesture of support.

Of course you could write 'cuntflaps and cupcakes' on them or something to appease the sweary crowd grin

YoniMatopoeia Fri 15-Nov-13 16:41:28

Goofy
TSSDNCOP is the secret service do not comment on procedure.

I hope

Or just a mug with Mumsnet muffia would be nice.

Muffia is not rude! wink

milktraylady Fri 15-Nov-13 16:42:00

Oh yes gotta have some tea towels with the MN phrases sprinkled over-
ODFOD
LTB
YABU
Etc
and little MN logos interspersed
And the emoticons too

Easy to translate that graphic to the cotton tote bags too (HTH)

Sparklingbrook Fri 15-Nov-13 16:42:03

Poor StuartMN. I wonder if it's too late for him to say he doesn't want to do it any more. grin

Cremolafoam Fri 15-Nov-13 16:43:53

Yes to shopping bag for life
Yes to Wall calendar planner
Yes to corkscrew with mn logo
Anything with

POST REPORTED on it

milktraylady Fri 15-Nov-13 16:44:37

Cork screw with logo! Genius idea

milktraylady Fri 15-Nov-13 16:45:04

(Can you still buy cremolafoam??)

Cremolafoam Fri 15-Nov-13 16:45:22

Or indeed
POST DELETED

Cremolafoam Fri 15-Nov-13 16:46:02

Yes milktraylady you cangrin

K8Middleton Fri 15-Nov-13 16:47:09

Oh gawd I botched up my apron slogan.

I want an apron with the following going down for escalating culinary situations: YABU... YABVVVU... <Ahem>... Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking Talk Guidelines

StuartMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 15-Nov-13 16:49:02

I fear it might be too late for me.

Tea Towels. Right. Of course if I'd suggested that as my opening gambit on Mumsnet I'd have been torn limb from limb in seconds.

milktraylady Fri 15-Nov-13 16:50:07

Correct grin

Cremolafoam Fri 15-Nov-13 16:51:16

Sorry Stuart grin

A bottle bag with DRUNK THREAD
On it.

I going away now honest...grin

Sparklingbrook Fri 15-Nov-13 16:52:28

No tea towels. Nobody dries up any more. Unhygienic.

And aprons? Is it 1940?

I like the idea of the biscuit it is an inoffensive MN in joke.
I wouldn't buy a t shirt or hoody though. I have a MN scarf but have never been "spotted".

How about a range of mugs with DD, DH. DS etc?

Tee2072 Fri 15-Nov-13 16:56:38

I'm wearing an apron right now TYVM.

DD DS DH etc are not MN specific.

Sparklingbrook Fri 15-Nov-13 16:57:43

Ooh Tee really? I can't imagine you as a pinny type person.

<updates notebook>

TheLeastAccomplishedBennetGirl Fri 15-Nov-13 16:59:49

How about a mood ring type doobrie which says 'AIBU' and depending on the temperature of your skin your mood it reads yay or nay

On the end of a pen that only writes in green ink

<hands StuartMN a large gin and a comfort blanket>

Tee2072 Fri 15-Nov-13 17:03:28

Really.

Ever since I was 1,000 years pregnant, wearing a pair of non-maternity PJs whilst making spaghetti and meatballs and slopped the sauce on my naked bump. I went out the next day and bought aprons.

My son is 4. I still have a mark on my tummy.

K8Middleton Fri 15-Nov-13 17:05:15

We'll I've gone through a fuck-load (actual measurement, look it up --not really--) of tea towels without a dishwasher Sparkling but happily I may be able to update that later. See Cunting Currys thread.

You must have missed the thread where GetOrf tried to relaunch the tabard. I'm first in the line for a housecoat with ironic slogan grin

Did I mention Curry's are a bunch of cunts?

MsInterpret Fri 15-Nov-13 17:07:51

I like the more discreet suggestions here - like putting hmm or confused in the square brackets or even grin.

I might even but a tshirt version of that. For nightwear only though!

I'd definitely buy something with TSSDNCOP on it.

On my Christmas list every year as a child, I had 'a butterfly which you wind up and it flies round the room'. Father Christmas let me down every year. Come on Stuart, step up. You can write whatever offensive MNism you like on its wings, I'm not fussy. It just has to fly.

I suspect Stuart will be designing his very own hoodie, with 'Mumsnet ruined my life' on it.

SoupDragon Fri 15-Nov-13 17:10:19

How about those naughty pens where you tip them and a naked man appears from behind the clothing? There seem to be a few more male member of MNHQ to model them on now...

MsInterpret Fri 15-Nov-13 17:10:33

Also seconding (thirding..? fourthing?) the woollyhugs related ideas and proceeds donation.

SoupDragon Fri 15-Nov-13 17:11:55

Oooh! A heat sensitive mug that says AIBU? when cold but changes to either YABU or YANBU when hot tea is in it.

StuartMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 15-Nov-13 17:11:56

I've just been having an offline lesson in the multi-layered intricacies and etiquette of biscuits and jammy dodgers. Oh, and when to smile and when to grin.

Totally up with you now. Really. Yup.

<runs>

I wear a pinny. AND I have many, many tea towels. We're not all hip and trendy you know. Some of us were born grey and uninteresting. We'll still be here when you exciting, progressive types have long given way under the strain of keeping up with modern times. Or is that scorpions?

YoniMatopoeia Fri 15-Nov-13 17:16:47

Obj. Glad to see some support for TSSDNCOP. If that is chosen can I donate commission to refuge and wooly hugs?

StuartMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 15-Nov-13 17:17:40

YoniMatopoeia Yes of course.

Tee2072 Fri 15-Nov-13 17:17:44

Stuart is today actually your very first day?

And they let you on the boards?!?!

::takes hat off to Justine::

::and Stuart::

TBH - I think you should talk to Suzi at Twisted Twee about designing some MN products. I have no connection with her at all (apart from having bought a couple of items online) but I think she would really understand the MN sense of humour.

YoniMatopoeia Fri 15-Nov-13 17:18:32

Ithinking about it, [AHEM] would be good too

Sparklingbrook Fri 15-Nov-13 17:18:45

I don't wear a pinny-I just have food all over my clothes. grin

Frettchen Fri 15-Nov-13 17:19:43

Oooh, what about an informative poster/tote bag/teatowel teaching folk how to make a hamwidge?

All together now...

Bread
Ham
Bread

(could have one option with words and one option with pictures)

youretoastmildred Fri 15-Nov-13 17:21:24

erm, what is TSSDNCOP?

rundontwalk Fri 15-Nov-13 17:22:16

I personally wouldn't buy any merchandise,sorry! The clothing idea is a definite no for me. I can (just about) see a market for non chunky mugs,but that's it. I know this isn't what you asked but I would steer away from clothing & look again at smaller merchandise like bags,mugs,badges.

Tee2072 Fri 15-Nov-13 17:22:19

The Secret Service Does Not Comment On Procedure.

Sorkin may have that copyrighted though.

Or OliviaMN might.

Not sure which.

StuartMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 15-Nov-13 17:22:50

Tee2072 No, I've been here for a few weeks.

However, disclosure: I ran PistonHeads for many years. I don't do that now, and I'm helping MN out on a few projects. So I'm quite happy getting stuck in on forums. You're swearier than PH, and much funnier.

Plus, my wife works for MN as one of the local editors, and I've been around the site (albeit silently) on an off for about three years.

KoalaFace England Fri 15-Nov-13 17:24:38

I would buy the whole MN kitchen range that K8Middleton has described. Especially if it looked all respectable or kitsch until you read it!

Sparklingbrook Fri 15-Nov-13 17:24:52

At least you aren't from Pie and Bovril Stuart. grin

MoldieOldNaiceHam Fri 15-Nov-13 17:25:01

How would one decorate the aga without tea towels? confused

ILoveAFullFridge Fri 15-Nov-13 17:28:00

I like mugs. I would like:

A brew mug, with just the MN logo on it, at that scale.

A mug with all the emoticons (including seasonal? Not sure.) and the MN logo.

A mug with YABU on one side and YANBU on the other. Nothing else, no logos, nothing.

A mug with either of my favourite MN phrases: "Did you mean to be so rude?" and " 'No' is a complete sentence."

For the mugs to be standard size - nothing dainty or narrow or curvy - and with a proper man-hand-sized handle, but made of naice china so that they are fairly light and thin. I would be willing to pay a £3-£4 extra for this.

What will the size-range be on clothes?

Tee2072 Fri 15-Nov-13 17:28:04

I'm a local editor, Stuart. I'm pretty sure I know your wife. wink

"Did you mean to be so rude" is my favourite MN phrase.

StuartMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 15-Nov-13 17:30:12

You might well do. smile

ILoveAFullFridge Fri 15-Nov-13 17:32:26

I like the idea of one of those cheap canvas shiopping bags with a shopping list printed on it that includes MNisms.

K8Middleton Fri 15-Nov-13 17:34:49

Wooden spoon of course. For Stirry Fuckers.

Goady fucker tea towel.

God I'd love a teatowel with FuckFuckFuck in teeny Emma Bridgewater-esque script all over it.

See also...

Cunting Sainsbury's shopper bag for me to take to Waitrose <fnar>

Cunting Mothercare change bag

Toddler tableware: plastic cups, spoons, plates and bowls. Naice graphics to go with... Cutted up pear theme. NB Please avoid anything rivers of sweet corn related.

PistonHeads? Did they rub you down with bleach before they let you in here? Congratulations on moving up in the world winkgrin

What's all this dainty mug crap btw? I like a proper chunky mug with a proper chunky handle. In fact I like them in earthenware. Something with a bit of bite.

K8Middleton Fri 15-Nov-13 17:39:22

Sod it I'll just send you my business plan shall I? grin

I also think a personalised range would be good. So a naice mug with...

XXXXX for example, is a twat.

I'll pre-order three please.

There's something very appealing about sweary kitchenware, especially if it looks sweet and girly at first glance. I mean, what's not to love about something like this?

MmeLindor Germany Fri 15-Nov-13 17:46:27

I want this on my tea towel

'Mumsnet. Swearier than PistonHeads, and much funnier'

Thanks, Stuart. Great slogan.

IamtheZombie Fri 15-Nov-13 17:52:31

Stuart, Zombie thinks you are going to fit in very well here. She looks forward to seeing you around. grin

K8Middleton Fri 15-Nov-13 17:54:53

Are you the new Helen Stuart?

Not that there could EVER be a new Helen. Sob.

blue2 Fri 15-Nov-13 17:57:56

I like the idea of tins. (Sorry Stuart)

Plain white - one with biscuit on the top and one with cake on the top.

Subtle, but those in the know... would know.

Nerfmother Fri 15-Nov-13 18:02:08

Oh god no. Mumsnet is not about hoodies! Have you not seen style and beauty?
Maybe some nice discrete china wear? Or a scarf if you must?

Tee2072 Fri 15-Nov-13 18:05:15

I think HQ should make that the new tag line, rather than the parents crap.

grin

SPsDoesntLikeChaffingFishnets Fri 15-Nov-13 18:06:47

Stick slogans on wine, rum and gin bottles and MumsNet will be rolling in money!

I'd buy a bottle of:

You are been dick Rum
Wank badger Vodka
YABU Wine

Mumsnet cork screw and bottle opener

Oh please do Acronym Keyrings

I love keyrings

and have too many hoodies

SPsDoesntLikeChaffingFishnets Fri 15-Nov-13 18:11:43

Oh and Tim openers for when Fray Bentos pies need opening for benign neglect moments grin

Mumsnet Vajazzles!

I could have YABU or LTB vajazzled on. I think that's an idea you should go ahead with.

And electronic cigs that taste of alcohol

CuttedUpPear Fri 15-Nov-13 18:30:27

brew

with a

biscuit

inside on the bottom so you can see it after you've drunk your tea/coffee.

BIWI Cote D'Ivoire Fri 15-Nov-13 18:47:31

PLEASE can we have t-shirts or sweatshirts with 'Mothers 4 Justine'?

Tee2072 Fri 15-Nov-13 18:56:54

grin BIWI

Reastie Fri 15-Nov-13 19:09:41

I agree 're fine line and really hope these won't be tacky.

Fanjango Fri 15-Nov-13 19:10:45

What about
Keep calm and LTB

LovesBeingHereAgain Fri 15-Nov-13 19:13:24

I vote for judge pants grin

Facelikeafriendlyapple Fri 15-Nov-13 19:16:13

Surely surely a limited edition gin collaboration is the way to go? Perhaps team up with Hendricks or Bombay Sapphire ( mn blue y'see) and all will be well. I'd buy it smile

MissSusanStoHelit Fri 15-Nov-13 19:18:30

We all would, face!! grin Also love the YABU/YANBU mug, and agree that t-shirts and hoodies are not exactly s&b worthy... Sorry! Shopping bags are def useful though...

MinnieBar Fri 15-Nov-13 19:25:58

I've got an idea! And it's for a mug Stuart!

- (line at the top, and next to it) YABU

---- (line at the bottom, and next to that) YANBU

Geddit? grin

(Would also work for wine glasses, but in reverse)

MinnieBar Fri 15-Nov-13 19:27:20

Bah, my top line crossed itself out

Like this:
---- YABU

---- YANBU

iPhone cover saying "ODFOD I'm mumsnetting"

Love PFB baby range

Mumsnet wine called simply "Naice Red/white"

AIBU car sticker

BOF Fri 15-Nov-13 19:36:27

I would like a mug with "Trust nae fucker" on it.

I'd like a YANBU and YABU stamp so I can shove it on DP's forehead when he's being irritating. grin

I'd also like a range of 'keep calm' prints for my toilet room.

'Keep Calm and have a biscuit'
'Keep Calm and DFOD'

Etc etc

ladymalfoy Fri 15-Nov-13 19:53:20

Shut up and take my moneygrin

AmandinePoulain Fri 15-Nov-13 19:55:58

I like the [hmm ] (without the space obviously!) idea, or a picture of the hmm itself (as long as it's the original not the fake one on the iPhone app which is, quite frankly, a very poor imitation hmm). Or YABU/YANBU.

I'd buy a mug (even though I never drink tea or coffee grin), a keyring, or a foldaway shopping bag, or tea towel, but definitely not clothes.

NightCircus Fri 15-Nov-13 19:59:44

Baby range

With 'precious first born' but poss also second, third and fourth
To consist of:-
A piggy bank
A small drawstring bag to fit in a folded muslin, pack of wipes, couple of nappies. To be used in normal handbag for short trips
A normal sized draw string bag- variety of uses eg dirty clothes when out and about/ toys for trip out etc
A laundry bag
A changing mat
A print
A vest
A babygrow

I'm picturing natural coloured cotton with printed ink writing. I'd like the choice of black, pink, blue. I'm sure a choice of red, turquoise, green, navy would be more Mumsnet though!

'this too shall pass' range

A large cup and saucer or nice shaped ergonomic mug for comforting drinks
A tinned candle, maybe with a calming lavender and 'something more modern' fragrance
A hot water bottle cover

Emoticon range hmm especially.

Bag for life
Biscuit tin
Mug

DifferenceEngine Fri 15-Nov-13 20:01:05

Wtf is lemon drizzle cake?

I'd like YABU, DFOD or LTB mugs.

And loving the idea of <hmm> merchandise. Possibly just as the text, not the emoticon.

Ohohoh
can we have a mnet keyboard app for tablets. One with [creepy wee brackets] and<> on the front not in a bloody sub menu.

And also percentage to go to woolly hugs. Would pay extra to fund that.

Ps cuntbunting

A mug with the MN logo and 'AIBU?' superimposed over the top.

Can I preorder half a dozen please??

Pachacuti Fri 15-Nov-13 20:01:56

I'd like to second BIWI's "Mothers 4 Justine" slogan. I'd buy that on a mug.

nameuschangeus Fri 15-Nov-13 20:08:34

Apologies if this has been answered already but haven't we done this before? I'm the proud owner of a pedant mug and shopping list bag already from blooming ages back, admittedly. smile

Indith Fri 15-Nov-13 20:09:23

was it around mile for maude time that out was done to raise money?

Dilidali Fri 15-Nov-13 20:17:56

I would buy a scarf with tiny tiny mumsnet logo all over it. I avoid the AIBU topics if I can, but it would be fun to have an AIBU mug.
I would also buy a naice bag

moldingsunbeams Fri 15-Nov-13 20:20:13

I would also love a scarf with tiny Mumsnet logo over it.

magentastardust Fri 15-Nov-13 20:28:08

I want a lunch box with a section for naice ham, quiche and (biscuit).

moldingsunbeams Fri 15-Nov-13 20:28:30

Hang on had not noticed the new name Hello StuartMumsnet grin

magentastardust Fri 15-Nov-13 20:28:40

darn it .. and someone to explain why I can't do smileys anymore (hmmm)

moldingsunbeams Fri 15-Nov-13 20:29:56

I would love a lunch box for my dc with some slogan of some type on. grin

browniebear Fri 15-Nov-13 20:31:55

I wouldn't buy a hoodie or a tee or a tea towel but yes to a mug or a bag for life. Love the shopping list idea.

Would it be possible to have them personalised with usernames? So browniebear thinks YABU or have I lost the concept ?

YANBU on the side of the mug and YABU in the underneath?

I'm sorry I didn't read everything but also love the biscuit tin idea further up

Corygal Fri 15-Nov-13 20:34:09

I'd buy mugs spelling out NAICE TEA and NAICE COFFEE.

I'd buy two mugs featuring the MN logo over the simple phrase GIN.

AmandinePoulain Fri 15-Nov-13 20:36:24

Yes yes to a lunchbox for Naice Things. Not ham though, I'm a vegetarian grin

muddymarvellousdarling Fri 15-Nov-13 20:40:19

Yes, i'd love a mug or thermal cup.

I've not read all the posts above, so sorry, if already mentioned a 100 times....
What about an official Mumsnet scarf. grin

Like the shopping bag/list idea.
Has anyone suggested a glass for our gin?
Don't really like the idea of tshirt and hoody.
Bedding range and towels?
Toilet brush!
Do think the commission would be better going to charity though, it would make me buy more.

TheDoctrineOfWho Fri 15-Nov-13 20:59:49

Yy to Mothers 4 Justine, and a biscuit tin.

TheDoctrineOfWho Fri 15-Nov-13 21:00:28

Could we rip off "fcuk" and have a [wunk] range?

bsc Fri 15-Nov-13 21:04:51

Sexual Technics Condoms- for the MNer who doesn't want to extend their brood any further.

I really think the biggest seller would be the Red or White (sort of a MN House) Naice Wine. You could sell it through supermarkets (Waitrose and Aldi, obv) and it would sell by the caseload.

trikken Fri 15-Nov-13 21:06:49

An OFRS would be great. In blue and white. A pombear pin badge, mumsnet logo mug with biscuit on. T-shirts and hoodies with [ hmm ], [ brew ] biscuits AIBU/YANBU/YABU on and Naice Ham and LTB etc would all be welcome. I would buy it all.

forcookssake Fri 15-Nov-13 21:07:13

Calico shopping bag and tiny enamel pin badge. Of the logo. Please grin

trikken Fri 15-Nov-13 21:11:10

And definitely a mumsnet scarf. Suggesting yanbu one side yabu the other. Or the brew pic printed all over it. Or just biscuits. Or the hmm face.

gaggiagirl Fri 15-Nov-13 21:16:59

Tiny pin badges.

A scarf covered in tiny emoticons available in black or beige please.

Leggings grin

Wonderstuff Fri 15-Nov-13 21:23:27

A mug with Cunting Currys on it would be brilliant.

VikingLady Fri 15-Nov-13 21:34:41

PFB on a maternity t shirt? Or are they not included in the usual t shirt range?

MmeLindor Germany Fri 15-Nov-13 21:39:27

Personalised mugs like this but with Mumsnet logo

K8Middleton Fri 15-Nov-13 21:42:28

If there are Cunting Currys mugs I need one. For my new, none Currys dishwasher <flicks Vs at Currys>

JollySeriousGiant Fri 15-Nov-13 21:46:06

Pics/logos for mugs:
A picture of a pombear
I love Lemon Drizzle Cake
I've visited Centreparcs
Drunk Thread Regular (maybe better on a wine glass? grin )
I'm a WoollyHugger
I wish this was [wine ]
Keep Calm and Have a Gin
This Too Shall Pass

IHadADreamThatWasNotAllADream Fri 15-Nov-13 21:51:30

If you did MN wine you'd have to have a very large testing session to pick the stuff. Where do I sign up?

TheDoctrineOfWho Fri 15-Nov-13 21:58:45

I do want a cake tin with "Punch Me" on the lid.

BeCoolFucker Fri 15-Nov-13 22:00:36

I would like a MN scarf, massive one, with choice acronyms in a random pattern:
ODFOD
YABU
HRWT
RTFT
YANBU
LTB etc

In the style of the Original MN scarf but letters instead OF leopard print IYKWIM.

Catmint Fri 15-Nov-13 22:11:19

Cake tin with ' Punch This Cake' or similar.

I would not wear slogany clothes outside the home.

YABU mug would be good.

I like the idea of using the smileys, except they are different on different devices....which ones are the definitive versions?

Also like the idea of small badges with some of the acronyms on.

FunnysInLaJardin Fri 15-Nov-13 22:13:01

I would buy a scarf with a pattern on it which said RTFT, HTH or LTB etc , like the bird print type ones. Or random pictures of the emoticons. HTH grin

Wonderstuff Fri 15-Nov-13 22:13:35

I like the idea of a scarf with small beautiful writing that can only be read when you're really close up. It should have lots of sweaty thing, like cunting currys, fuck the fuck off, wtf, you get the jist.

FunnysInLaJardin Fri 15-Nov-13 22:13:38

I would like it to be dark blue or grey with white writing also. HTH!

I want a tshirt with Yippee Ki-yay Makka Pakka on it... Best name EVER!

Please smile

NightCircus Fri 15-Nov-13 22:18:10

A picnic set would work well.
Plastic plates and cups with Naice on them...not very seasonal but someone needs to design them!
Could also have thermos cups....
Or just tshirts and mugs!

Catmint Fri 15-Nov-13 22:20:03

Please can we have crowns with 'Mumsnet Royalty' on them, and they must be cheap so everyone can have one?

NightCircus Fri 15-Nov-13 22:20:36

Ooo egg cups that was what I came on to say. Emoticons would be good on egg cups

MrsShrek3 Fri 15-Nov-13 22:24:49

grin grin
pmsl
love it

Pachacuti Fri 15-Nov-13 22:30:04

Actually, I'd probably break my no-Tshirt rule for a "Yippee Ki-yay Makka Pakka" shirt. But I suspect there are Copyright Implications. And, come to think of it, I could make my own YK-yMP shirt. Hmm...

MrsMeeple Fri 15-Nov-13 22:38:41

I love the idea of YABU / YANBU mugs (on either side)

Oh bother, Ruby beat me to it! I was going to suggest PFB, DS1, DS2... DD1 DD2... DS, DD, DH, MNer tshirts. Or even better, babygrows.

I'd buy tea towels with fun MN references.

I like the idea of little emoticon earrings. With biscuits for bad days...

If we're sticking to t'shirts so far (some of us are listening Stuart!), I want one that says TSSDNCOP.

I suggest:
- Toddler T'shirts with "I'm angry because <picture of a pear with a chunk cut out of it>"
- "It's hmm not [app hmm]"
- Following on from TheDoctrine's idea - a cake tin saying "Don't punch the cake".
- "I don't hun"

Rockinhippy Fri 15-Nov-13 22:42:58

A naice scarf, with the various LTB, YABU, RTFT acronyms in a nice script, printed as a repeat all over print on something like a satin sheen - black on pale grey, navy on pale blue & so on & so forth

A bit more class than a hoody or tee smile

Mignonette Fri 15-Nov-13 22:56:07

Mugs with-

Atrocious Cunt

The Pit Of Stupid

MNVogue.


Please please please please please please please please please please .....

CrewElla Fri 15-Nov-13 22:57:54

I like the tea towel idea with the commonly used abbreviations & I think Stuart fits right in on mumsnet.

ChippingInLovesAutumn Fri 15-Nov-13 23:04:46

Tea Towels. Right. Of course if I'd suggested that as my opening gambit on Mumsnet I'd have been torn limb from limb in seconds

I hope you plan on sticking around Stuart grin

You are, of course, right - but it's OK now that we have asked for them grin

I think you are begging for trouble paying a commission to individual MNers - I can hear the fighting now about whose idea this was and who came up with it first etc. If MN can spare the funds to pay 'the designer' I think it would be FARRRRRRRRRRR better to go to Woolly Hugs or a different charity each month I nominate the Stuart Gin Fund for the first month, you're going to need it

prettybird Fri 15-Nov-13 23:06:29

Wouldn't want a t-shirt or a hoodie. Would really like a MN scarf keep trying to find a so-called "typical" one and failing - maybe one with the different emoticons as "spots".

Would probably buy a discreet MN pin/badge to wear - a bit like a not so secret society that only those "in the know" would recognise.

Mignonette Fri 15-Nov-13 23:06:57

Surely not Hoodies and T shirts? Would anybody really want to be seen in these in public? Same again with bags. I'd be a little bit embarrassed TBH.

Tea towels

Mugs

Teacosies

Muslin Squares for babies w/ discreet logo.

Biscuit Shaped stress ball/stress biscuit (accompanying leaflet telling you to do a pelvic floor exercise everytime you squeeze the stress ball)

Fridge Magnets printed with the MN logo or in the shape of a bottle of gin w/ MN logo.

prettybird Fri 15-Nov-13 23:07:11

Yes - and I like the idea of tea towels.

yegodsandlittlefishes Fri 15-Nov-13 23:09:30

Small sized children's tees/babygros with 'you can have my first biscuit'

Mugs with 'grip' on the handle

TeamEdward Fri 15-Nov-13 23:11:12

The TSA contingent and all the lurkers would probably appreciate a mug with IYKWIMAITY'AD.
Or a lemon emoticon. grin

Mignonette Fri 15-Nov-13 23:12:12

The fridge magnet could actually be in the shape of the MN logo. That'd be great and I'd buy loads of those.

DameFanny Fri 15-Nov-13 23:29:43

I would buy a fob for my key ring with hmm or "is that you UCM? on it, for discreet dangling in the playground.

And a cake tin with t either "Do Not Punch" or "Pre-punched" on it.

Not much for t- shirts, but if I ever take up running I promise to buy a "Goady Fucker" hoody.

MrsShrek3 Fri 15-Nov-13 23:33:01

I think you need a mn scarf with vipers on it wink
naice subtle ones of course

NaturalBaby Fri 15-Nov-13 23:36:48

I'd buy anything with 'Mothers for Justine' printed on it.
Kids t-shirts with DS1, DS2, DD1, DD2 etc.

Love the idea of kitchen range and the secret society pin badge - but only if we have to earn them!

JacqueslePeacock Sat 16-Nov-13 00:02:05

What about a t-shirt for the DHs? "My wife joined Mumsnet and all I got was this lousy t-shirt", perhaps? Or a mug with "I don't see her much since she started Mumsnetting"?

JacqueslePeacock Sat 16-Nov-13 00:04:34

I've got it! Mumsnet sex toys on a theme of "Terry Wogan's Cock". Got to be a bestseller.

ScrambledSmegs Netherlands Sat 16-Nov-13 00:13:59

How about some klaxons in a fetching shade of orange?

HonoraRogers Sat 16-Nov-13 00:23:39

PLEASE
PLEASE
PLEASE
PLEASE
PLEASE

Mugs with Atrocious Cunt emblazoned on it.

Marmaladetwatkins can have the royalties.

BOF Sat 16-Nov-13 00:27:05

Oh yes, I'd buy that.

scottishmummy Argentina Sat 16-Nov-13 00:28:00

God almighty I can see a stack of mn penis beakers in poundland if you persist with this
Think about it,why would participation in online chat site translate to associated products

DeepThought France Sat 16-Nov-13 00:31:07

Has this thing kicked off yet?*

*my goodness only the really oldies will get that ref lol

DeepThought France Sat 16-Nov-13 00:31:37

or how about

4

DeepThought France Sat 16-Nov-13 00:33:05

omg omg I've got it

perfection, non?

Yeah - DeepThought, I've been missing the little guy.

Rockinhippy Sat 16-Nov-13 01:58:12

grin @ MrsShrek

JollySeriousGiant Sat 16-Nov-13 02:05:56

A pin badge with "I've googled dragon butter" would certainly terrify passers by.

DollyTwat Sat 16-Nov-13 04:37:18

What about a mouse mat with 'just words on a screen' scottishmummy? You'd buy be, I know you would grin

ILoveAFullFridge Sat 16-Nov-13 07:24:13

I think you are begging for trouble paying a commission to individual MNers - I can hear the fighting now about whose idea this was and who came up with it first etc. If MN can spare the funds to pay 'the designer' I think it would be FARRRRRRRRRRR better to go to Woolly Hugs or a different charity each month

Completely agree.

Let the 'designer' prize be a free one or more of their design instead of a regular commission.

I really like the idea of supporting Woolly Hugs. It's a home-grown cause, pure MN, very appropriate.

How about a multicoloured hot water bottle cover with a "Woolly Hugs" logo? Or a microwaveable hottie pad (^unscented^, please!). Supporting WH, of course!

I cim

SpencerPercival Sat 16-Nov-13 07:58:17

Tbh. I wouldn't buy any of if. (Didn't even buy the mug last time with me on it but apparently Olivia mumsnet did!)

I don't share my use of Mumsnet. .

Bloody phone! Atrocious cunt that it is!

I would like the following:
Bag for life with shopping list design with lots of MN references
PFB baby gro
Small biscuit enamel pin < my fave idea so far

Don't like the clothing range at all apart Tom a MN scarf

And proceeds should def go to Wooly Hugs

SpencerPercival Sat 16-Nov-13 07:59:50

I hate did you mean to be so rude. It's naff.

CbeebiesIsMyLife Sat 16-Nov-13 08:06:47

I would buy and wear a hoody with YABU on the front in small letters (maybe to one side) or TSSDNCOP but then I'm pregnant, not fitting into clothes and cold! So maybe only for the next 6 months or so!

500internalerror Sat 16-Nov-13 08:16:52

I think pin badges & things are great for identifying fellow mbetters in shops etc. but really, would you really want anything that identifies you as a mn user in the playground? Really? I'd be mortified to think people that knew me could poke around on here and find me. Hence so many name changes.

Sparklingbrook Sat 16-Nov-13 08:19:30

If you did see someone in the playground with YABU on a hoodie how would you go about tracking them down on here?

AmandaCooper Sat 16-Nov-13 08:19:38

"Baby grows with PFB on?"

Yes I was astonished not to be able to buy one when DS was born. Thought about having one made but obv hadn't the time what with PFB and everything!

SpencerPercival Sat 16-Nov-13 08:19:57

Really? A hoody ?

I just don't see why!

JollySeriousGiant Sat 16-Nov-13 08:32:08

I agree with the money going to Woolly Hugs smile

Tee2072 Sat 16-Nov-13 08:41:11

hmm to people who think of MN as a dirty little secret.

If you are so embarrassed to be here, why are you here?

TheDoctrineOfWho Sat 16-Nov-13 09:02:04

Tee, it's not about being embarrassed to be here. It's more about wondering if people would try and guess your username by your posts if they knew you were a regular here and therefore read things you wouldn't want "de-anonymised"

Tee2072 Sat 16-Nov-13 09:06:06

Sorry, still don't get it. Never will.

In any case, did we scare Stuart off or does he get weekends off? He's not a true HQ member until he's around on a weekend night... grin

500internalerror Sat 16-Nov-13 09:06:44

Sparkling, I wouldn't track them down, I wouldn't care less. But years ago, I had someone I thought was a close friend deliberately find me on here & delight in repeating everything I'd said. It was just creepy. That was also in the days before I learnt not to give away too many thoughts & identifying things online. I'm not at all embarrassed about mn - I'm just embarrassed that I didn't realise how careful you need to be about privacy, when your innermost feelings stay online forever.

500internalerror Sat 16-Nov-13 09:08:18

But i would be embarrassed to wear a slogan t shirt, of any sort, not just mn gringrin

Sparklingbrook Sat 16-Nov-13 09:09:24

How though 500? How did they find you? That's what intrigues me.

500internalerror Sat 16-Nov-13 09:15:03

By accumulation of small facts here and there that all fitted together, a few might be co incidence but not the whole lot. Things like, for example 'oh I live by a motorway too' or 'yes
My neighbour decided to erect a 15ft fence' or 'my child was 21 months when potty trained' etc. and a very cryptic original username, that easnt at all cryptic once the friend suspected it was me; it became obvious.

Sparklingbrook Sat 16-Nov-13 09:16:58

shock 500. Were they a Mnetter too?

ILoveAFullFridge Sat 16-Nov-13 09:17:16

MN is like eating peanut butter by dipping your fingers in the jar. Delicious, addictive, perfectly nutritious, something you might share with the right person at the right time, but not an activity that you would actually broadcast to the world.

I did not hide my MNing at first (peanut butter sandwich), but after being identified several times I realised that I valued my anonymity (turned into a peanut butter finger dipper).

Sparklingbrook Sat 16-Nov-13 09:18:41

I suppose it depends how you post. I have never put anything on here that it would bother me if anyone knew me IYKWIM.

Tee2072 Sat 16-Nov-13 09:26:32

Yes Sparkling, that's it, actually. People post on here because they think they are anonymous. But you are never anonymous on the web. Not unless you name change every day or for every post.

And if you're that paranoid? The internet is proabaly not the place for you anyway.

Sparklingbrook Sat 16-Nov-13 09:29:17

I name changed for twenty minutes last week as a joke. I didn't like it.

Have not read the entire thread so don't know whether this has been said but how about

What's Your Favourite biscuit

Giraffeski Sat 16-Nov-13 10:24:42

Didn't you do this a few years ago? Like, at least six or seven? I had a mug which just had

< pedant >

on it. I liked it very much and I broke it eventually but I wish I had another one so can you reproduce it please? grin

There were other things you could buy though, think it was a cafe press shop, but I thought it was a MNHQ sanctioned thing, perhaps it wS to raise money for charity or something, ggglimpopo springs to mind?

Pachacuti Sat 16-Nov-13 10:32:25

Yes, Giraffeski, there was a whole bunch of merchandise when we were all doing Mile For Maude. There was definitely a shopping bag with a "naice ham" shopping list on it, I remember.

Pachacuti Sat 16-Nov-13 10:37:43
Pachacuti Sat 16-Nov-13 10:39:27
SpencerPercival Sat 16-Nov-13 10:46:28

tee. Stalkers. Till you've experienced it you wouldn't get it.

SpencerPercival Sat 16-Nov-13 10:48:34

And bizarrely stalkers even love the prosaic stuff. Not juicy gossip.

Indith Sat 16-Nov-13 10:49:12

Well found smile

I remember all that stuff from Mile for Maude. I hadn't realised it was still around. Clearly I'd forgotten about the shopping list bag, wasn't trying to pass it off as my own genius original idea grin. Quite fancy a bag with the LDC recipe on it.

BlondieTinsellyMinx Sat 16-Nov-13 10:54:41

Will the hoodies be purple and warm/fleecy? Might get one for gardening in (the only time I wear a hoodie and always buy dark colours). It could say "mumsnetter at work" or "viper since {YEAR}" perhaps?

I'd buy a mug with the MN logo on printed with "this too shall pass" - making it a naice thermal one so the cuppa stays hot would be genius grin

When the range expands past t-shirts/hoodies/mugs i would buy

- A tea towel
- A little brooch (teeny though...I think a mumsnet blue pombear has been suggested in the past, on a previous thread).
- A scarf in MN blue printed with pale grey pombears
- A MN blue cake tin with Naice Cake on one side and "no LDC here wink" on the other
- a car sticker in MN blue saying "keep your distance - viper on board"

If any of my ideas are taken forward I would like to donate the proceeds to Refuge/Women's Aid/Woolly Hugs please smile

SpencerPercival Sat 16-Nov-13 10:55:38

it wasnt cheap was it.
Good Old Maude. I hop Ggglimpopo is doing well

500internalerror Sat 16-Nov-13 11:14:52

Love the peanut butter analogy!

Sparkling - no she wasn't, as far as I know. Unless she was better disguised than me of course!!

What about mn onesies? Same supplier as hoodies could provide, they could have all the classic phrases, yet they are more 'personal' ie worn on the sofa not in a shopping centre or cinema? Only my dh and best friend would ever see me in a onesie!

ControlGeek Sat 16-Nov-13 11:30:37

I love the idea for the WoollyMug, and I reeeeeeaaaaallly want a genuine, all singing all dancing OFRS. A tote bag with OFRS on it would do though wink Also loving the idea of a mn scarf with 'this is a genuine mn scarf' on it in tiny writing as a pp has suggested. When I first joined mn there was so much talk about the mn scarf that I honestly thought one existed, and spent ages googling to try and see what it looked like blush

If you can do car stickers, can you do one that says 'If you can read this, YABU' - or maybe on the bottom of a mug? I'd love to take a judicious swig of coffee and flash this while DinkBoss is BU!

HSMMaCM Sat 16-Nov-13 11:31:02

Can the shopping bag with the list on have 'cutted up pear' on it too?

I might buy a mumsnet scarf or a secret pin badge.

StuartMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 16-Nov-13 11:39:13

Some great ideas on here, plus it functions as a handy at a glance guide to a good proportion of MN in-jokes for newbies like me. grin

I was catching up on the thread last night on the train and doing that thing which annoys me most about other people on trains - laughing out loud at my mobile phone. blush

Keep them coming, and we'll do as many as we can which are viable. I LOVE the YABU car sticker idea ControlGeek and that's very doable.

Happy for any designers who want to donate their commission to do so. We could even flag up those where a charitable donation would be made in the description, as it might help people choose what to buy.

CuttedUpPear Sat 16-Nov-13 11:41:38

I would definitely buy the shopping bag with Cutted Up Pear written on it.

Are all MNetters going to get personalised bags then?

<hopeful>

SpencerPercival Sat 16-Nov-13 11:51:30

I don't know what OFRS IS

BIWI Cote D'Ivoire Sat 16-Nov-13 12:12:28

I believe it's an 'Oh Fuck Rucksack' for the zombie apocalypse or something

Tee2072 Sat 16-Nov-13 12:34:56

You're assuming I've never been stalked online. You assume wrong. I just don't give a flying fuck about who knows what about me as I don't put anything on the internet that I wouldn't talk about at the top of voice in the middle of church on Christmas Day, even under a name change.

I think a tote bag with MN shopping list would be brilliant.

Yes, OFRS is Oh Fuck Ruck Sack. For the zombie or other apocalypse.

I would buy

Odfod

(Odfodttfsofatfosm! For massive chests )

500internalerror Sat 16-Nov-13 13:22:35

Cuddly bats for all the mn kids!

500internalerror Sat 16-Nov-13 13:28:50

How about cotton shopping bags with a complete print over the whole surface, of every username current/ for the last xxx years, all varying sizes fonts & directions etc? That's a seller, because everyone would feature on it!

A range of naice bras with a large range of cup sizes and starting at a 26 band called Unicorn Shit grin

ILoveAFullFridge Sat 16-Nov-13 13:30:18

A rucksack-style bag with OFRS.

How about something (a tea towel?) with a picture if a bunch of flowers, only instead of flowers - vipers.

Well I'm clearly in the unfashionable minority - I would wear a tshirt. Assuming they are fitted tshirts and also available in colours other than white...?

JollySeriousGiant Sat 16-Nov-13 13:30:51

RubberBullets you are a genius. That would sell incredibly well!

ILoveAFullFridge Sat 16-Nov-13 13:31:32

Aargh - a picture of a bouquet, only instead of flowers - vipers, a bunch of.

How about a t shirt with RubberBullets you are a genius? wink

I would buy a "I am mitmoo" tshirt grin

T-rexing in asda? You could even get a deal with asda and sell them direct?

senmerrygoround Sat 16-Nov-13 13:45:25

T-shirt with "Endorsed by Style and Beauty" on it

TalkativeJim Sat 16-Nov-13 14:05:13

Baby body suits, preferably in a nice range of colours:

DD1
DS1
DD2
DS2

etc.

And maybe:

DD1: PFB

DS2: PSB

DS1: PLB

etc.

Endless permutations there so maybe just the PFBs would be the sellers.

Would def buy those as long as the quality was nice.

TheIggorcist Sat 16-Nov-13 14:13:26

I love the idea of having "never google dragon butter" on something, and knowing lots of people were going home to do just that.
As a disclaimer, I should say I have never googled it myself, maybe not so suitable around kids of reading age!

whodunnit Sat 16-Nov-13 14:33:59

I'd like pens, china mugs and a tote bag but without being too obviously MN so only other Mnetters would know it. YABU, YANBU, just odd little quotes that only we would understand. Wouldn't wear tshirts & hoodies but would buy other goodies for myself.

SpencerPercival Sat 16-Nov-13 14:36:08

wtf is a mitmoo

Sparklingbrook Sat 16-Nov-13 14:40:10

shock Spencer I don't think that word can be mentioned. I don't actually know (before my MN time I think) but I gather it's a PBP?

NearTheWindmill Sat 16-Nov-13 14:49:17

I detest all themed merchandise. Also, as so many folk on here think that anything that costs more than 50p is a rip off I don't see how you would make any profit from it.

I might buy a portable coffee mug for the car but only if all profits were donated to "Woolly Hugs".

BIWI Cote D'Ivoire Sat 16-Nov-13 14:54:38

Spencer - you clearly haven't been putting the hours in! Mitmoo was a troll who provided many hours of entertainment before he/she was banned. MNHQ get all twitchy about the name being mentioned now grin

TigerFeet Sat 16-Nov-13 15:59:43

I wouldn't wear MN themed clothing, there's something slightly, erm, tragic about branded clothing imo. The only exception would be a tshirt stating ODFOD that I would wear as a pyjama top when dh was feeling friendlier than I am of an evening.

I still use my Mile for Maude shopping list tote bag smile

I might, MIGHT, be persuaded to buy a mug or a badge or a bookmark or something similar.

Are the profits going towards a Good Cause or is it to raise funds to plough into gin MNHQ?

TigerFeet Sat 16-Nov-13 16:03:19

< shock cat's bum face>

my only issue with sweary acronyms and things like "never google dragon butter" is that my eldest is old enough to read them and ask what it means but not old enough for the explanations.

I think it would have to be limited to stuff like YABU or whatever, child friendly stuff.

</ shock cat's bum face>

Could you do a tooth mug with "penis beaker" on side?

Odfod on the sweary stuff, if you make it, it will be bought (Kevin costners guide to life slightly readjusted)

SolidGold Sat 16-Nov-13 16:37:57

A mug would be great, in fab colours. Also agree that I could use a family planner type calendar with space on each day to write several appointments, complete with pen, maybe food planner area too and at the end a space to make notes to carry over to next year's calendar. Also a diary would be great.

NumTumRedRum Sat 16-Nov-13 16:53:39

How about

Judge
Moan
Bitch

Instead of Live Love Laugh.

I can't take credit for this I vaguely remember it coming up on Marmalade Twatkins thread on the pta woman and lemon drizzle cake.

NumTumRedRum Sat 16-Nov-13 16:56:14

Or a version of Mumsnet Bingo.

There are several phrases which always come up, such as I feel sorry for your children etc.

Or, how about the following:

Won't somebody think of the children?

Or,

Mumsnet Widower for DHs and DPs.

aristocat Sat 16-Nov-13 17:07:49

Yes a family planner/ calendar that has lots of room for me to write on and a mug would be essential items here.

JulesJules Netherlands Sat 16-Nov-13 17:23:40

Def mug with AIBU/YABU on it. Or Woolly Mug on it. Or biscuit Or atrocious cunt. Good quality mug though, not a crap one.

Shopping bag/tote with shopping list on it eg
Greggs sausage rolls
Naice Ham

probably can't actually use Greggs

or acronyms.

Or little biscuitbiscuit earrings

A MN scarf with attractive viper design, or cuddly bat design

Gin

Mousemat with acronyms or warning - Never google Dragon Butter

I think any commission should go to Woolly Hugs or Winstons Wish though, not to individuals.

NumTumRedRum Sat 16-Nov-13 17:41:24

'UnMumsnetty Mug' instead of an 'UnMumsnetty Hug' wink

IHadADreamThatWasNotAllADream Sat 16-Nov-13 17:54:55

I'd like a MN family planner. There's not a lot of choice and they're all either teethrottingly twee or aimed at pre-school families (Gruffalo/Roald Dahl).

SpencerPercival Sat 16-Nov-13 17:55:41

last time everyone went nuts for this and then I think sales were.... disappointing

IHadADreamThatWasNotAllADream Sat 16-Nov-13 17:59:20

What annoys me most about family organisers is all the ones which are all "organised mum" "mum's special calendar" "just because mum is Secretary of State for overseas development doesn't let her off the fact that she has ovaries and is the only one who can do this stuff"

So I'd like a planner that says
"MN family calendar:

It May Say Mum on it But You Still Have To Remember Your Own Sodding Swim Kit"

TheFowlAndThePussycat Sat 16-Nov-13 18:10:45

How about a t-shirt with 'clutches pearls' on one side and 'won't anyone think of the CHILDREN?' on the other. Or similar mug. grin

CakeBotherer Sat 16-Nov-13 18:33:59

I want a 'Oh Do FUCK of dear' mug.

Pretty please, with vodka in.

TheFowlAndThePussycat Sat 16-Nov-13 18:48:16

Or hoody with 'longtime lurker' on it.

I'd love a nest of vipers shirt.

FoxPass Sat 16-Nov-13 19:07:50

I'd love a YABU hoodie for toddler DS grin

and yy to a naice shopping bag. And a mug with the smileys.

ZenNudist Sat 16-Nov-13 19:21:16

A range of ramekins with popular mn phrases on: yabu, yanbu, hth, rtft, ltb & [hugs] accompanied with appropriate emotes

An MN bobble dish.

ControlGeek Sat 16-Nov-13 19:30:14

Ooh if a ramekin range is ever created, please could we have one that says PIAR or BFP?

ControlGeek Sat 16-Nov-13 19:39:36

...or along the same lines, but less obvious, 'Classy Bird' (again ramekin related)

cocobongo Sat 16-Nov-13 20:52:21

what about a range of pregnancy tests with "POAS" on them?

Thecircle Sat 16-Nov-13 21:07:04

Oooh I like merchandise!

I'd love a plain old mumsnet logo on a mug but have seen mugs with messages on the bottom so as you drink them the message appears.

The one I saw said cunt actually. So MN logo and as you drink "DFOD" "did you mean to be so rude" "LTB" and please please make something with "T-rexing in asda" on

Thecircle Sat 16-Nov-13 21:09:43

And KLAXON

MrsShrek3 Sat 16-Nov-13 22:53:37

speaking of KLAXON..... a car window sticker?

Willemdefoeismine Sun 17-Nov-13 08:13:28

I would like to think that Mumsnetters are far too stylish to want to wear sweatshirts/t-shirts except in an ironic manner.

I can imagine having a stylish note-pad with some classic Mumsnet pearl upon it.....

And the idea of a Mumsnet Family Organiser is spot on!

NomDeClavier Sun 17-Nov-13 10:03:57

Definitely yes to a special PIAR ramekin. That way it's very clearly identifiable!

RatherBeOnThePiste Sun 17-Nov-13 10:45:42

Ooooooooooo

HellsBellsnBucketsofBlood Sun 17-Nov-13 10:54:27

* a mug saying yabu on one side and yanbu on the other I would buy.*

I love this idea. I could have it at work. Happy thoughts.

nettie Sun 17-Nov-13 10:55:00

Just made cup of tea in my vintage "in cdo we tsrut" mug. Would love a new one as it is a bit chipped and tea stained.

Would love a nest of vipers one or wooly hugs.

Might buy t shirt for sleeping in, but not interested in hoodie.

I love the idea of a small pin/badge that would only be recognizable to other mumsnetters.

NoComet Sun 17-Nov-13 10:59:10

No thanks, l write far too much personal stuff to advertise being on here and setting the school gossips looking

Selks Sun 17-Nov-13 11:27:46

Please can hoodies and t shirts include larger sizes! Ta.

nearlyreadytopop Sun 17-Nov-13 13:22:44

this is awesome. hi stuart
Please no mention of penisbeaker.
I would like a notepad that has a different mn saying for each day please.
Or post-it notes with sayings and acronyms.
I wouldn't wear a t shirt or hoody but I can see how one that said 'I am Anyfucker' would be coolgrin
And naice wine.
Car sticker that looks like a lovely bunch of flowers but on closer inspection are vipers.
Wooly hug style hats and scarves.
smile

scottishmummy Argentina Sun 17-Nov-13 13:31:17

It's a ghastly idea,hamming up the tired ole phrases and it's so mumsy
And mn joggy,yes I suppose the schoolmate gym bunnies could don that
I love amazon,and the bbc but I'd purchase branded item proclaiming this

scottishmummy Argentina Sun 17-Nov-13 13:35:53

I love amazon,and the bbc but I'd not purchase branded item proclaiming this
Can't imagine owning google merchandise
I can't see the attraction of mn merchandising at all

KoalaFace England Sun 17-Nov-13 13:56:30

scottishmummy I haven't seen you for ages! I agree about the Google/Amazon thing but MN is more of a community and has "in" jokes so some people will like it.

It's the crude kitchenware that I think is funny.

usualsuspect Sun 17-Nov-13 13:59:19

Me neither,SM.

I wouldn't buy any of it.

usualsuspect Sun 17-Nov-13 13:59:21

Me neither,SM.

I wouldn't buy any of it.

Livvylongpants Sun 17-Nov-13 14:17:15

I'd like a 'time for brew' mug as brew time is MN time

You could also do a 'time for cake' mug and a 'wish it was wine' mug

Also a not a mumsnetter oh no not me mug, tshirt and hoody

That is all for now

Livvylongpants Sun 17-Nov-13 14:26:21

Havn't read thread so don't know if its been mentioned earlier but would love a range of kids tshirt and/or baby grows with 'PFB' on

Or family mugs so mugs with DH, OH, DW, DD1, DS2 etc!

scottishmummy Argentina Sun 17-Nov-13 14:36:17

As with all business proposal scope demand, do a short run monitor sales,aggressively market product,get in cahoots with big retailer, big promo push

ReluctantBeing Sun 17-Nov-13 14:43:43

I'd like a 'did you mean to be so rude?' Mug.

scottishmummy Argentina Sun 17-Nov-13 14:55:12

I suppose my misgivings I find the mn phrases a bit cringey so can't enthusiastically endorse
Did you mean to be so rude,it's so pompous mc. As if the recipient will just crumple

ishouldcocoa Sun 17-Nov-13 15:07:12

What about these? Biscuit cushion
Perfect for the sofa!

Livvylongpants Sun 17-Nov-13 15:28:59

I suppose they don't have to be hugely mumsnetty

I think shirts with 'woolly hugs' written on (with the writing looking like its been knitted) would be good especially this time of year.
Or merchandise stating 'thread killer' and 'longtime lurker' wouldn't be in your face munsnetty but mumsnetters would recognise them

SpencerPercival Sun 17-Nov-13 15:53:00

I agree scottishmummy

i find it naff. Hence no one bought

scottishmummy Argentina Sun 17-Nov-13 17:05:57

I dislike all the associated phrases,too cringey
But I'm not target audience
As I said mnhq should market testa shirt run with a big retailer.its all about mula generated - sales determine viability

K8Middleton Sun 17-Nov-13 17:06:43

It goes without saying that any commission for my suggestions goes to Woolly Hugs. Not least because I can't be doing with putting it on my tax return.

I'd like mugs with the following:

Snurk
Arf
Atrocious Cunt
Keep calm and carry on being an atrocious cunt
[wunk]
Fnar fnar
I am Mitmoo -- not really--
Woof to you lady!
Is that you Sharon?
Is that you UCM?

K8Middleton Sun 17-Nov-13 17:09:02

I won't wear MN clothes but I do like a naice mug. I might buy a mug.

Rockinhippy Sun 17-Nov-13 17:11:31

This sort of thing has been my trade for more years than i care to mention & I also think the MN slogan tees & hoodies are a really naff idea, maybe PJs or nightshirt might work better - biscuit spot print bottoms & biscuit slogan top - the biscuit spot print jersey could be used for baby grows etc too, but for adult or older DC daywear, I think it's a really bad idea - sorry

the kids slogan ones might work for very young - pre reading & having any input of their own of course, as depending on the slogan they could be the sort of cute gifty stuff that may sell well, but it really needs care,

Rockinhippy Sun 17-Nov-13 17:13:33

I also think that most of us with DCs around, wouldn't buy or use the more sweary slogans - on ANYTHING

SoupDragon Sun 17-Nov-13 17:26:01

I think stuff like mugs etc are a better bet than clothing. Maybe a travel mug?

I think the sweary "slogans" are fucking crap naff though.

SoupDragon Sun 17-Nov-13 17:26:56

How about a reusable sandwich wrap with
bread
ham
bread

on it?

How a bit a kids plate and cutlery set - featuring "Cutted up Pear".

whodunnit Sun 17-Nov-13 18:11:34

I realy love the calendars where you rip off a page a day (about the size of a playing card or smaller) and each day has a clever quote or saing on it. You could do them with great phrases on not all ''in' jokes but ones that are relevant eg

This too shall pass
They are all toilet trained by the time they get to school
Girls just want to have FUN...damental human rights

and I do like a mousemat....cheap gift but always useful and on display to the user.

SpencerPercival Sun 17-Nov-13 18:23:25

Most in jokes are. If any one of them is questioned on this thread then it's cliquey not sure wide

SpencerPercival Sun 17-Nov-13 18:24:28

Site wide

IHadADreamThatWasNotAllADream Sun 17-Nov-13 18:25:43

They're really not all toilet trained by the time they get to school - not even the NT ones. Who the hell said that?

thornrose Sun 17-Nov-13 18:28:13

I love MN but I wouldn't buy any merchandise, at all, it makes me shudder tbh.

SoupDragon Sun 17-Nov-13 18:28:15

What does "cutter up pear" mean to MN though? Other than being a poster's name.

Cutted up pear is a thread in classics about things children have tantrums over - like objecting to the fact that mum has cut up a pear and it can't be stuck together again.

nickelbabe Sun 17-Nov-13 18:31:04

mug with logo on.
and I love the yabu/yanbu mug sides idea
cotton bag with shopping list on (using the choice phrases - naice ham, pombears, biscuit etc)
family planner diary/wallchart with various pictures and phrases on.

biscuit tin with biscuit onnit.
wine cooler sleeve with wine on it
storage tubs with cake on it
wrapping paper with thanks on it

and definitely an OFRS with thatvprinted on, the logo above, and containing a first aid kit and survival objects such as matches, penknife, ball of string, tin of beans, bottle of water, pen and paper.

SpencerPercival Sun 17-Nov-13 18:31:44

No clue with mizmoo or the pear.

readysteady Sun 17-Nov-13 18:31:57

Again would never by clothes but would love a mug with

AIBU to dunk my..........
...........................

and on the other side it simply has

biscuit

SpencerPercival Sun 17-Nov-13 18:32:18

No idea what OFRS is either.

nickelbabe Sun 17-Nov-13 18:35:14

vyt I do think that mugs and biscuit tins/plastic food storage boxes and cotton.shopping bags are the way to go.

I wouldn't buy a mn teeshirt or hoodie, if I were to choose one thing, it would be the mug or bag.

nickelbabe Sun 17-Nov-13 18:36:26

OFRS is "oh fuck! ruck sack"

it's your bag that you can grab and go in case of an emergency.
it's been on all the zombie threads ever.

bigTillyMint Sun 17-Nov-13 18:37:36

Is it just me that wouldn't buy anything with the MN logo on?

I might buy an in-joke mugconfused

nickelbabe Sun 17-Nov-13 18:46:37

sciencerocks idea of heat changing mug is brill, but it should be aibu wgen cold and yabu on one side and yanbu on the other side when hot.

I also like the idea of a set of mugs, which gave the smilies on:
grinhmmconfusedwinkshockblush
no need for the others because they are pretty much universal on the internet.

also like the idea of coasters.

please don't do clothes sad

ChippingInLovesAutumn Sun 17-Nov-13 18:49:36

I would like a (ceramic) travel mug (with a rubber lid), with 'ODFO' on one side and 'to the far side...' on the other grin (MN logo on the base would be fine).

nickelbabe Sun 17-Nov-13 18:52:05

oh, and I love love love the woollymug idea.
that's just bloody genius.

wizzler Sun 17-Nov-13 19:08:16

Not sure I would by clothing, but I would buy bag/ mug.

I would definitely buy " Who the hell is Sharon" , and " Is that you UCM" ( Can't even type it without sniggering) and there must be room somewhere for the Mumsnet Bat

thornrose Sun 17-Nov-13 19:08:28

BigTillyMint - read my post of 18.28, not even a mug for me grin

RatherBeOnThePiste Sun 17-Nov-13 20:22:59

LOVE the idea of the Woolly Hugs mug (unsurprisingly!) and I think it would sell really well. Love your idea of commission too, I'll not deny grin

Stuart, not sure how much you know of Woolly Hugs, but see here and in the Woolly Hugs topic.

We have lots of photos of stunning knitted or crochet pieces that Mumsnetters have made for Little Hugs or Billie's Blankets that would be fabulous as a wrap around on a mug ( or we could get one designed and made) and the header piece at the top of the website that says Woolly Hugs, is a gorgeous work of art crocheted by Knotty, I have that here and it could be used as well as on a mug or maybe instead of the woolly design. Be lovely. Really lovely.

Woolly Hugs is significant and important to lots of folk on MN, and my vote is definitely for a Woolly Mug.

Fingers crossed and THANK YOU!!! wine

ScarerStratton Sun 17-Nov-13 23:50:29

Have we mentioned Nest of Vipers yet?

I would love a range of mugs with the acronyms on them, nut only if they're good quality mugs, I hate the ones that usually have stuff printed on them.

Matching teatowels and coasters would be great.

ScarerStratton Sun 17-Nov-13 23:52:12

Oh and definitely at biscuit badge, so we can subtly identify each other

SlicedLemon Mon 18-Nov-13 00:44:48

Funny I should see this because yesterday I think I saw a bloke wearing a penis beaker tshirt. shock I was trying my best to look but he had an unzipped jacket on and wouldn't stand still but that's what it looked like and I am struggling to come up with a similar alternative it may have been but that may just be me spending way too much time on here.grin grin

SlicedLemon Mon 18-Nov-13 00:49:57

You could do hoody with an appropriate logo across the front only available at centre parksgrin grin

ILoveAFullFridge Mon 18-Nov-13 07:49:53

I agree with not having rude slogans, especially on clothing.

Also agree that if posters on this thread do not recognise or understand slogans, acronyms or pictures, then they are cliquey. Eg "Is that you, UCM?" and the bat. (Those are ones that i understand, i couldnt think of more recent ones that i dont understand, because, not understanding them, I find them unmemorable.) Fine to have them, as long as they are balanced out by having more recent slogans etc, as well as ones that run through the majority of MN and are used/recognised by the majority of MNers.

I like the idea of knickers with a "Judgey Pants" or "Reader, I judged." print. But they would have to be Bridget Jones style big knickers - which I wouldn't wear!

VikingLady Mon 18-Nov-13 08:57:37

How about tshirts, key rings, mugs etc with the MN definition of "quiche" (with the dictionary definition of clique), phonetics and all? In MN blue

MmeLindor Germany Mon 18-Nov-13 09:13:07

I wouldn't buy sweary products, cause my kids are old enough to read them and start asking questions.

I do think any slogans have to very recognisable. The bat, 'Is that you, USM?' and 'In cdo we rtust' won't be recognised by the newer MNetters, and there have been a few mentioned on this thread that I didn't get. Obviously not putting enough effort into MNetting at the moment.

YABU / YANBU

Judgeypants

the emoticons

woolly hugs

MN logo

naice ham/bag

etc are all quite universally known

johnworf Mon 18-Nov-13 09:24:51

I've been making and selling MN acronym mugs for over a year now and selling them on my website.

Just so no one thinks I nicked the idea from here hmm

Can you think up a nice line of pink hardhats?

Umbrellas:

"Prepared for water and a flaming"

Wooosh.

That was the sound of MN --lawyers- heavies sweeping down on johnworf ready to sue for whatever they can think of.

ButThereAgain Mon 18-Nov-13 09:29:33

I'm amazed at so many of you willing to go public about your use of MN!grin

I think I'd only have an MN stamp on products used completely in private -- perhaps a mooncup with "Sorry, this site is temporarily offline."

Disclaimer: I would not buy any MN gear. No way Jose.

Haven't read all the other posts but loving the sound of a reusable shopping bag, discreet pin badge and mug. Not sure I'd wear a T-shirt tbh

Idea for a childrens range:

"Neglected child of a Mumsnetter"

"My life is..... Tumbleweed"

IAlwaysThought Mon 18-Nov-13 09:53:59

Lots of funny quotes but I wouldn't buy any of it. confused

ButThereAgain Mon 18-Nov-13 10:04:06

Yes, the danger is that the products are much more attractive to suggest and chat about than to own.

grin at the tumbleweed suggestion Quint.

AnAdventureInCakeAndWine Mon 18-Nov-13 11:09:30

I don't think "Is that you, UCM?" is cliquey as such, it's more retro. grin

Although of course the whole UCM/MN relationship didn't end well, so there'd be a certain irony to having her as a slogan...

SlicedLemon Mon 18-Nov-13 11:47:25

No one up for a "I had bum sex at Centre Parks" Hoody then???grin

how about a design for mugs/tshirt etc that says:
wink wink [wunk]

FoxyRevenger Mon 18-Nov-13 12:39:38

I'd be into a mug/tshirt/hoodie featuring a very classy, subtle, vintagey looking cutted up pear. Like a lovely green pear with a slice cut out and cutted up pear in small lettering underneath.

JulesJules Netherlands Mon 18-Nov-13 16:03:04

Love the mooncup with "Sorry, this site is temporarily offline" on it.

I wouldn't buy a hoody or tshirt I don't think.

I would buy a woolly mug mug, especially as described by Pistey.

Or tea towel with Knives, Forks, Spoons

Or the shopping bag with list

ILoveAFullFridge Mon 18-Nov-13 17:25:48

I don't think that there's anything wrong with cliquey slogans, as long as they're not the only ones available.

I, for one, would not buy these products in order to advertise my use of MN. It's a guilty secret! But I might buy something sufficiently subtle and amusing, like a YABU/YANBU mug, or secret, like a pair of nice cottony judgey pants.

ILoveAFullFridge Mon 18-Nov-13 17:28:42

Oooo "judgey pants" pyjama bottoms!

Definitely big enough and definitely hoikable.

And private!

gussiegrips Mon 18-Nov-13 21:59:40

What about a card/postcard? With YABU/YANBU on it, turn it the right way up to express the sentiment.

I've cranked up my stitch designer programme and made a sample - it's on the photos.

Any use for the woolly hugs? Would be a footery instarsia, but a pretty cross-stitch.

gussiegrips Mon 18-Nov-13 22:04:15

Ugh, file's too big to upload. PM me if you want it. Hearts and flowers border round traditional lettering.

<slump> I'll never get to be Amy Butler at this rate.

magicstars Mon 18-Nov-13 22:15:29

PFB logo on clothes for LOs, naice bag, naice ham lunchbox... Or hamwich box...
YABU/ YANBU mug.

kotinka Tue 19-Nov-13 02:06:03

biscuit badge, IABU tee shirt, shopping list shopping bag.

not keen on the Charlie's angels logo, a bit dated.

StuartMumsnet (MNHQ) Tue 19-Nov-13 17:12:09

Thanks everyone, some really good stuff on this thread.

All being well, we'll have the designs we're going with at launch agreed and ready in a couple of days. At launch we'll have t shirts, mugs, hoodies, tea towels, aprons and a couple of car stickers because those are the things our supplier can produce using their print on demand system already. Shortly behind that will be some tote bags, and then we'll look at other stuff in due course.

We'll be picking up on quite a few of the suggestions made here, and adding to those some of the regularly used abbreviations, and emoticons. We also hope to be doing some specific Woolly Hugs designs. Our supplier also has a number of other children's licences, so there'll be a small range of kids tees available featuring other brands.

youretoastmildred Tue 19-Nov-13 17:20:36

Can I just clarify, is this a licensing model or a merchandising model? (ie are you commissioning the manufacturer as a contractor, or selling the licence to the manufacturer?)

StuartMumsnet (MNHQ) Tue 19-Nov-13 17:28:40

Licensing model. Albeit one in which we retain sign off on all product. So we're de-risking it from our perspective (the margins on this stuff are tiny, as you're possibly aware), but able to have a broad range of designs for all tastes.

olgaga Wed 20-Nov-13 02:09:02

I do think MN should rebrand. That Charlie's Angels logo is just so old hat...

I think the bunch of flowers/nest of vipers is a great idea. I'd wear it.

Will you be bringing out a range for men? I know you like to be "inclusive" these days.

If so can I suggest a "Cocklodger" Tshirt and a "GF's Rule" hoody?

StuartMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 20-Nov-13 06:43:38

There will be a couple of bits and bobs for blokes. We can easily do more based on demand.

StuartMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 20-Nov-13 10:20:57

A very imaginative MNer sent me this via PM. I really like it - quietly subversive and amusing. I could see it working as an expanded range.

What do you all think?

Rockinhippy Wed 20-Nov-13 10:28:17

I think it depends how it's used TBH, but it doesn't look that commercial to me,

Rockinhippy Wed 20-Nov-13 10:30:35

Should have clarified - it's too twee to have mass appeal & the style doesn't fit the actual content, if that makes sense - nice style for a jam label or the likes, but not really commercial otherwise - if that makes more sense

StuartMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 20-Nov-13 10:39:12

I guess the appeal for me is that it looks twee, but in fact isn't.

Possibly not obvious enough then.

Wouldn't work on a T shirt, but a tea towel or Mug could?

Rockinhippy Wed 20-Nov-13 10:47:51

I can see where you are coming from & yes, tea towel or mug over clothing ( which I hate the idea of slogan tes anyway) Thouhn I'd be interested in what others think, but commercially IME that doesn't really work - I think the sort of people who would go for "twee" might not go for the content - if that makes sense -personally I would prefer a mug with a nice strong stylish box framed typeface YABU on one side - YANBU on the other, probably black typeface & maybe a range of decor related fashion colours

KoalaFace England Wed 20-Nov-13 10:55:21

I like it! It's in the same vein as "cunt bunting" but not offensive and safe to have around the kids.

I'd definitely get some teatowels and mugs if they were not too expensive!

youretoastmildred Wed 20-Nov-13 11:10:38

I don't like that - I think it is a play on the received idea that mumsnet must be bland and homespun cos it is mums innit, and that annoys me, because mn does not pretend to be bland and homespun; it just goes all out sharp and savvy, and only dickheads (--like Gok Wan--) miss the point and think otherwise

Also it is a US-originated played out idea that CRAFTING can be SUBVERSIVE and it is turning into an unsubversive imperative to sit around doing tedious things with crochet hooks to show you are a real woman

youretoastmildred Wed 20-Nov-13 11:10:58

shit, strike-out fail

youretoastmildred Wed 20-Nov-13 11:11:31

Anyway, Stuart, I'm not doing your job for you. You need to sort your assets out if you are doing a licensing deal

StuartMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 20-Nov-13 11:17:06

OK, thanks for the feedback. Appreciated. As you can see, my instincts aren't spot on around this stuff...

KoalaFace England Wed 20-Nov-13 11:51:15

Feel bad for the MNer who spent time on this just to have people call it bland and start writing in capitals to point out how much they dislike it.

A bit rude I think.

youretoastmildred Wed 20-Nov-13 12:03:40

Good point. Sorry to whomever it was.
it is a nice idea but I got a bit carried away
I think I forgot that an invidual mn-er had designed it and got all swept up in the idea that a. it is intended to represent us and b. it is commercial so you have to tell it how it is

sorry, it was mean and out of order.

Rockinhippy Wed 20-Nov-13 12:04:10

I like it! It's in the same vein as "cunt bunting" but not offensive and safe

But the twee looking "cunt bunting" doesn't sell so well, only the more edgey looking version sells

Rockinhippy Wed 20-Nov-13 12:06:40

I think it was lovely if the MNer who as done this & it IS a pretty design, just not commercial enough - commercial can often mean nasty & crap, but sells well, so don't take it as a personal slur on your effort

StuartMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 20-Nov-13 12:28:21

One thing I learned in a previous role is that the stuff you think will sell stubbornly refuses to, and the stuff you think you'll end up owning forever disappears fast than you can say "The Secret Service does not comment on procedure"

We're pretty much set on the launch range now, but looking for more ideas for further down the line.

DreamlessSleep Wed 20-Nov-13 14:28:00

I like the general idea of the mug but agree its too twee.