AIBU to be DISGUSTED and FURIOUS at Mumsnets ineptness? I am RAGING!

(95 Posts)
HoneyDragon Sun 21-Apr-13 18:41:24

If you have the misfortune to land on their redirection page something TERRIBLE happens.

Along with the usual apology that you've been directed to a page that no longer exists, they have a pithy messages that states

You found it! We've been looking for that biscuit everywhere ...

And then next to it, next to it

<<sit down and brace yourselves for the horror>>

A picture of a partially eaten


Honestly, seriously? Do you know nothing?

It's a cake! Cake. Not biscuit. It's a cake. angry

How could you?

I am clearly so NBU it hurts. I DEMAND a picture of a Jammy Dodger with haste.

Pan Sun 21-Apr-13 18:45:13



HoneyDragon Sun 21-Apr-13 18:50:37


If you are not on board with the raging matey you can bugger off!!

<<slams doors>>

<<stamps round>>

<offers a platter of Jaffa biscuits>

TSSDNCOP Sun 21-Apr-13 18:52:36

Jaffa cakes ARE biscuits everywhere else in the world except Mumsnet.

Just like everywhere else in the world owns a sodding loo brush.

MrsWolowitz Sun 21-Apr-13 18:53:59

No no.

Jaffa cakes are cakes.

When biscuits go stale they go soft.
When cakes go stale they go hard.

Jaffa cakes go hard when they go off ergo they are a cake.


HoneyDragon Sun 21-Apr-13 18:56:32

No they Aren't!

H&m revenue and customs, Wikipedia and The Guardian say they are CAKES.

The box says they are CAKES

The big giant Jaffa Cake is in the CAKE section in the shops.

I'm not forgiving HQ for this. Ever, ever, ever.

No Ta Quint, I don't like them grin

tethersend Sun 21-Apr-13 18:57:47

IIRC, there was some sort of ruling on this. Something along the lines of:

Cakes go hard as they get stale.

Biscuits go soft as they get stale.

Ergo, Jaffa cakes are cakes and not subject to some sort of tax or other.

Or something.

Will google.

EduCated Sun 21-Apr-13 18:58:36

Jaffa Cakes are bastards.

It's all about the Custard Creams.

tethersend Sun 21-Apr-13 18:58:50

X-post mrsWolowitz.

Ergo, we are both smartarses grin

tethersend Sun 21-Apr-13 18:59:42

Cuntstard Creams more like.

Give me a ginger nut any day.

AnyFucker Sun 21-Apr-13 19:00:47

the word is ineptitude



SoupDragon Sun 21-Apr-13 19:01:17

Is the clue not in the name?

They aren't Jaffa Biscuits are they?

HoneyDragon Sun 21-Apr-13 19:01:38

Offending article (hopefully)

EduCated Sun 21-Apr-13 19:01:51


You take that back, tethersend. Or should I say YOURMUMSEND.

I noticed that yesterday! I was so shocked I refreshed the page at which point a discusting but at least recognisable Bourbon biscuit popped up.

My ire was reduced sufficiently to forget all about it until now. blush

I'm just no good at immediate grumpiness <flagellates self with pink wafers>

EduCated Sun 21-Apr-13 19:02:47

I got jammy dodger. You seeing things? confused

nenevomito Sun 21-Apr-13 19:03:04

Of course Jaffa Cakes are Cakes.

The clue is in the name. <head-desk>

nenevomito Sun 21-Apr-13 19:03:41

I can't see a picture on that link at all.

How can I be outraged if I can't see the cake?

Uppermid Sun 21-Apr-13 19:03:47

They've changed it to a bourbon is that better?!

superbagpuss Sun 21-Apr-13 19:03:50

according to hmrc - and therefore the queen - they are cakes and don't have vat on them

and they taste horrid!

Uppermid Sun 21-Apr-13 19:04:09

Ooh, now it's a garibaldi

Viviennemary Sun 21-Apr-13 19:04:18

Jaffa cakes are cakes. They had a court case something to do with VAT. And they made a huge one so that proved it was a cake. It's official.

Pan Sun 21-Apr-13 19:04:27

I'd also expect a possessive comma in the need to thank

Ooh garibaldi this time

dried fly biscuits

SoupDragon Sun 21-Apr-13 19:04:50

I got a bourbon.

First time I got that page it was a Jaffa cake though.

I got a strange looking breakfast bar

HoneyDragon Sun 21-Apr-13 19:05:51

They are gas lighting us with their many biscuits. confused

SoupDragon Sun 21-Apr-13 19:06:04

Don't you mean an apostrophe, Pan?

No need to thank me.

Pan Sun 21-Apr-13 19:06:50

Ha! blush

BrittaPie Sun 21-Apr-13 19:07:00

They rotate biscuits.

Theironfistofarkus Sun 21-Apr-13 19:07:11

Didn't the Pringles people try to argue that they were not a potato based snack ie not a crisp or something for tax reasons?

Yay! Jammie dodger that time!

HoneyDragon Sun 21-Apr-13 19:07:39

Pan. As I have an unused comma I can always stick it somewhere else?

I hadn't noticed that and now it's really going to annoy me

I got jammy dodgers hmm

usualsuspect Sun 21-Apr-13 19:09:02

They have no right to call themselves cakes.

RustyBear Sun 21-Apr-13 19:10:14

MNHQ seem to have an awful lot of half-eaten biscuits lying around.

They'll be getting mice next....

HoneyDragon Sun 21-Apr-13 19:10:46

True Usual. Mingy orange bastards.

I now have about 12 tabs open trying to establish the biscuit appearance pattern.

Don't give usual a capital.

She doesn't desetve one.


There, there, there HonetDragon. Calm down dear, it's only a biscuit.

<< runs >>

Fuckledybugger - HoneyDragon. Bastard iPad.

TSSDNCOP Sun 21-Apr-13 19:18:06

Biscuits. Biscuits. Biscuits.


featherbag Sun 21-Apr-13 19:20:01

Has anyone ever actually let a Jaffa cake go off in order to test the cake/biscuit categorisation? If so YABVU and are a bastard of the highest order. I could've had that Jaffa cake.

HorribleHaircut Sun 21-Apr-13 19:20:11

Who the hell puts down a biscuit?! Weirdies.

And surely it should be pom bears? or a slice of quiche....?

If you get the 404 page at RTE you get a picture of Shergar.

superbagpuss Sun 21-Apr-13 19:22:21

honeydragon I hate them too. don't let the Jaffa lovers get you down

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HoneyDragon Sun 21-Apr-13 19:24:13

Lunatic. There were pictures of the horse before it went missing grin

IamtheZombie Sun 21-Apr-13 19:36:08

Zombie to lecture on VAT. She always used the Jaffa Cake tale in her lecture. It's more than just cakes go hard / biscuits go soft...

<< taps nose >>

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChristineDaae Sun 21-Apr-13 20:06:11

Jaffa cakes are with the biscuits in tesco = they are biscuits

Viviennemary Sun 21-Apr-13 20:30:43

Jaffa cakes are with the biscuits in Tesco = they are cakes. (Tesco's have no sense) grin

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BIWI Sun 21-Apr-13 20:41:10

But how do you get to those pages? I've never seen them on MN at all. <lost>

ItsYoniYappy Sun 21-Apr-13 20:46:37

I detest Jaffa cakes. You now get Jaffa cake muffins. <shudder>

I was led to this page this week. I'm sure I got a jammy dodger.

If someone does a wrong link you get it.


CharlieUniformNovemberTango Sun 21-Apr-13 21:00:10

I have fucking Jaffa cakes in my coat pocket!

HoneyDragon Sun 21-Apr-13 21:05:27


CharlieUniformNovemberTango Sun 21-Apr-13 21:10:25


I don't really. I just always wanted to say that after seeing it on spaced years ago!

And I agree with you anyway. They are most certainly cakes!

HoneyDragon Sun 21-Apr-13 21:24:51

grin grin

GreenEggsAndNichts Sun 21-Apr-13 22:23:09

Jaffa cakes are disgusting, that's what they are.

CatherineMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 21-Apr-13 22:27:20

<brushes crumbs off chest>

HazeltheMcWitch Sun 21-Apr-13 22:29:21

Zombie is of course correct.
HMRC weighed up the evidence - see here:

and eventually decided that McVitie's could class them as biscuits.

HoneyDragon Sun 21-Apr-13 23:30:05

They're not biscuits aaaaaaafgh! Rage! Aaaargh angry

HazeltheMcWitch Mon 22-Apr-13 00:32:17

Oh, fuck. I meant and eventually decided that McVitie's could class them as CAKES.

Cakes, NOT biscuits. blush

HoneyDragon Mon 22-Apr-13 07:16:26

<<calms down>>


HazeltheMcWitch Mon 22-Apr-13 09:54:17


Jaffa Cakes are cakes because they go hard

Pringles were officially declared not to be crisps in 2008 as they don't contain enough potato but the courts changed their mind in 2009 and now they are confused

EmpressOfThe7OceansLovesMN Mon 22-Apr-13 13:20:30

:head tilt: Do you have ishoos with biscuit / cake classification, Honey?

What about Yorkshire puddings and Kendal mint cake?

I have a garibaldi. Erkh, dead fly pie <boak>

MNHQ, if you don't want them jaffas, please do pass them here.m

Ta mucky. <not bothered as to cake/biscuit issue>

HoneyDragon Mon 22-Apr-13 13:29:41

Yorkshire pudding can be served with syrup or cream.

And Kendal Mint Cake shares more resemblance to cake than owt else.

There is no funking logic in declaring a Jaffa cake a biscuit ... It's a fucking bastard cake.

HoneyDragon Mon 22-Apr-13 13:30:01

Fucking. Stoopid autocorrect.

Why the Jesus H Christ would you ruin a Yorkshire pud with friffing syrup or cream? Why? WHY? WHY?

fanjo you eat one with gravy first... Then for pud it's Yorkshire pud again!

Fenton Mon 22-Apr-13 13:52:12

It is a biscuit..

let me finish

...shaped and sized cake

TSSDNCOP Mon 22-Apr-13 14:03:38

I just bought a pack in Sainsbo.

They were RIGHT UNDER a banner sign saying "BISCUITS"

I thought of you all exploding with The Rage.

Then I came home and ate them with my brew.


TSSDNCOP Mon 22-Apr-13 14:04:13

Biscuit is a very funny word grin

SarahMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 22-Apr-13 14:06:29

Ahem! You're all quite right, and we are covered in shame and crumbs

Rest assured that the offending item is being removed, even as we speak grin

UnscentedStillRomantic Mon 22-Apr-13 14:06:39

Jaffa Cakes do not fit any category.

They qualify equally as a stale dry cake or stale bendy biscuit. Either way they are nasty and that orange jelly in them tastes like hand gel.

Kewcumber Mon 22-Apr-13 14:07:39

They are not biscuits they are cakes. Every accountant in the UK knows they are cakes there is a legal ruling on this.

You may pretend they are biscuits all you like but they are cake.

Those who want them to be biscuits - you know if they are "biscuit" they would cost you 20% more?

Now who wants them to be a biscuit? [is there a pokey out tongue emoticon?}

Kewcumber Mon 22-Apr-13 14:08:45

TSSDNCOP - perhaps the ones in the biscuit aisle cost 20% more - they want to look for the ones in the cake aisle - they'll be cheaper.

GreenEggsAndNichts Mon 22-Apr-13 14:09:55

god I would be so disappointed if someone said we were having cake and out came bloody jaffa cakes. sad

Kewcumber Mon 22-Apr-13 14:12:07

you might be disappointed - but they would be correct.

(Personally I'd be dissapointed if they produced Jaffas cakes under any guise at all except some kind of non-food perishable item)

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Mon 22-Apr-13 14:16:51

Look you bastards. I'm doing 5:2 and now I have read this thread I am bloody starving! Dont you have something better to do? hmm

scone that just sounds nasty.

Well, well grim.

HoneyDragon Mon 22-Apr-13 19:01:26

Thank you Sarah, I will now be able to Mumsnet with ease again.

Jaffa CAKEs are only good for one thing. Carefully dismemberment of the entire thing so you are only left with the disc of orange gel.
This is then lobbed upwards at the ceiling, where it sticks on a most satisfactory manner.
It's the only pleasure you can get from a Jaffa CAKE.

ClaraOswald Mon 22-Apr-13 19:13:33

I want Jaffa cakes. DH has eaten the last packet.


HoneyDragon Mon 22-Apr-13 19:16:36


HoneyDragon Mon 22-Apr-13 19:18:01

Perhaps you could encourage your local delivering chip shop to diversify, and deliver some?

RubyGates Tue 23-Apr-13 16:47:17


TheDoctrineOfSnatch Wed 24-Apr-13 19:41:42

You put a biscuit-picture-randomiser script into your error message?

MN, I fucking luffs you.

Hullygully Wed 24-Apr-13 19:43:33



Maryz Wed 24-Apr-13 21:07:59

I have had jammy dodgers with my after-dinner coffee. dh had to eat the jaffa cakes


RubyGates Wed 24-Apr-13 21:41:01

I couldnt resist! Please don't hurt me.
But I do understand that they are, in fact, cakes.

Very, very yummy cakes.

Limelight Wed 24-Apr-13 21:50:23

Biscuit delivery. Why isn't there such a thing as that? A number you can ring at 3am and say 'chocolate hobnob me now!'

or indeed 'Jaffa cake me now' because it would be perfectly acceptable for a biscuit delivery company to deliver Jaffa cakes because they are clearly biscuits.

ToothFaerie Fri 26-Apr-13 10:24:27

The best test is that of cakes go hard and Biscuits go soft if left out in the wild. Then again who's going to leave either for long enough to go soft/hard and not eat them.

They are Biscuits, but let them be known as Cakes to save them from the hideous Revenue system.

HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 26-Apr-13 10:46:15


You put a biscuit-picture-randomiser script into your error message?

MN, I fucking luffs you.


Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now