Non AIBUs in AIBU. They wind me up but I feel petty reporting them.

(91 Posts)
MardyBra Fri 12-Apr-13 09:11:04

They always seem to start:

"to ask you...

...to recommend me a pushchair
...whether you got a Primary school place
...to ask you for packed lunch ideas.
...to ask a tedious question about a topic I have hidden

And then they start: "I've put this in AIBU for extra traffic because it was being ignored in it's rightful place proper topic.". No shit Sherlock. Maybe it was because it was dull.

Occasionally I report, but then I wonder if MNHQ think I'm being petty/nitpicking. If only everyone would use Active Convos, then there wouldn't be this problem.

NotTreadingGrapes Fri 12-Apr-13 09:14:28

Anything with the word pushchair in irritates the bejaysus out of me. My brain feels offended that I have to even consider for a nanosecond looking at somebody else's choice of fucking perambulation.

And the bleeding obvious ones. AIBU to be sad that world poverty and Nick Clegg exist?

Thanks Mardy for allowing me to offload. grin

MardyBra Fri 12-Apr-13 09:21:56

Glad to be of assistance grapes

MirandaWest Fri 12-Apr-13 09:24:05

I just hide the whole of AIBU which lowers my blood pressure smile I occasionally venture there and remember why I hid it grin

BIWI Fri 12-Apr-13 09:27:05

It's a constant complaint, Mardy. <heavy sigh> MNHQ do sometimes move them into appropriate places, and I always assume that it's when people have reported/asked.

It's tedious because it becomes a vicious circle - if people don't post in the 'right' place, then the 'right' place doesn't get enough traffic.

It also fosters the whole AIBU crew, who just live there and love pouncing on posters just so that they can be mean and have a go. So often you see people posting things like "you shouldn't have posted that in AIBU if you didn't want this kind of response".

Trills does a sterling job posting on non-AIBUs, but she gets a lot of stick for it.

TBH, I just ignore them now and have given up reporting. But I suppose if enough of us did, then MNHQ would do something?

MardyBra Fri 12-Apr-13 09:28:11

I like AIBU precisely because i enjoy rubbernecking at a good bunfight. I just don't want it clogged up with breast pump enquiries.

MardyBra Fri 12-Apr-13 09:31:15

I probably report a couple a week.

LineRunner Fri 12-Apr-13 09:36:20

There is something especially mind numbing about pushchairs and travel systems. Even when the DCs were little I found them about as interesting as my gran's doilies.

Trills Fri 12-Apr-13 09:38:10

Thanks BIWI smile

I report them.

MNHQ can decide what to do after that.

I don't do it if there is clearly some big invasion going on and they will be busy with more important things.

If people post in AIBU because there is more traffic then they are contributing to AIBU being the only pace with traffic, so it will only get worse.

MardyBra Fri 12-Apr-13 09:44:03

Ah. I'm glad someone is properly on the case. flowers for Trills.

3WiseYonis Fri 12-Apr-13 09:55:26

I do wish people would post in the right place.

I am old, very old so have no knowledge of pushchairs/nappies/dummies etc. So I don't look at those threads.

But I am a serial mover & find the property thread v interesting & I wish property threads (for example) were moved from chat or AIBU to the right place. Same goes for cookery related stuff.

I don't know, however, how much work or how hard it is for HQ to move a thread.

5318008 Fri 12-Apr-13 09:57:30

I very nearly posted on one saying I hope to god Mintyy doesn't see this or she'll skelp you for not putting in say products/parenting/education

But I didn't, just <sighed inwardly>

HelenYoniSchmoniMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 12-Apr-13 09:58:30

Morning.

We're always happy to move a non-AIBU to a more appropriate topic - and welcome reports about them. We probably wouldn't see them otherwise, tbh.

TanteRose Fri 12-Apr-13 09:58:38

god, I hate this

how hard is it post in the right place confused

Sirzy Fri 12-Apr-13 09:58:55

i don't understand why people don't post in the right area they may get less 'traffic' but surely the people who look are more likely to have something proper and useful to say?

And of course if people posted in the right area then they would get more traffic anyway!

HelenYoniSchmoniMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 12-Apr-13 10:05:44

To be honest, I don't think our signposting helps folks who aren't very familiar with MN to post elsewhere.

Say you've arrived on MN for the first time via a Google link to an AIBU thread.

The only prompt you have for starting a new thread is the "start new thread in this topic" link. So it's very easy to just start your pushchair (or whatever) thread in AIBU without really thinking.

We're working on a way to have a dropdown box in that start-a-new-thread link that actually asks you to decide which topic you'd like your thread to be in. It's on Tech's List of Things to Do - and we very much hope it'll be with us all soon.

Trills Fri 12-Apr-13 10:07:12

Oh dear, have all of MNHQ namechanged too?!

Pascha Fri 12-Apr-13 10:08:45

Yay! I thought of the drop down box ages ago.

LineRunner Fri 12-Apr-13 10:09:00

I agree about traffic and quality. I would rather have one response in Good Housekeeping from pigletjohn about fixing a dodgy loo than a hundred on AIBU telling me I was a filthy disgrace to humanity.

TanteRose Fri 12-Apr-13 10:12:22

Helen, I can forgive newbies

its people who deliberately use AIBU for inane purposes

DeafLeopard Fri 12-Apr-13 10:13:24

Totally agree. Good to see we are not being a pita to yoniHQ if we report.

MardyBra Fri 12-Apr-13 11:41:59

When we report a thread, there is a tick box for spam. Would it be possible to have a tick box for "thread in the wrong place"?

MrsTwgtwf Fri 12-Apr-13 12:59:39

Linerunner, I think you have summed up my entire MN experience: "I agree about traffic and quality. I would rather have one response in Good Housekeeping from pigletjohn about fixing a dodgy loo than a hundred on AIBU telling me I was a filthy disgrace to humanity."

tethersend Fri 12-Apr-13 13:06:09

Am I the only one who isn't remotely bothered by this?

Frankly, if you can shoehorn your question into AIBU, I say go for it. After all, "AIBU to ask about [insert mundane topic here]?" is technically an AIBU, so in the right place. It's the answers which are wrong.

Trills Fri 12-Apr-13 13:07:21

Shoehorning often doesn't work, or is done badly.

"AIBU to as you to recommend a pushchair?" doesn't work because answering YABU or YANBU (regarding the reasonableness of asking the question) does not give the OP what they wanted.

Trills Fri 12-Apr-13 13:08:26

"AIBU to choose pushchair A or pushchair B?" does work in the format. It's still ridiculous but at least you have tried.

tethersend Fri 12-Apr-13 13:12:59

But that's my point, Trills- technically, it's not the OP who is wrong, it's the respondents. They should only be answering YABU/YANBU.

Just because the OP wants a different answer doesn't make their OP not an AIBU question.

Trills Fri 12-Apr-13 13:16:17

So you think we could drive the non-AIBU-ers off AIBU by answering the question that they asked, not the question that we know they really want answering?

tethersend Fri 12-Apr-13 13:23:55

If it meant a lot to you, then yes, I reckon you could wink

You'd have to rely on everyone else feeling as strongly as you did though...

DeafLeopard Fri 12-Apr-13 13:29:32

We need some sort of non-AIBU klaxon so we can all pile in and say YABU for posting in AIBU. Mind you that probably applies to 75% of the threads.

I liked the old proper AIBU like it used to be, where it was really MN jury resolving joining in a fight.

It seems like posters use it to drum up popularity for their thread, and due to traffic sometimes more needy (as in, in need of help / support) go un-noticed.

LineRunner Fri 12-Apr-13 13:29:38

Given the current crop of cooker hood and resurrected ear wax threads over on there, I could be persuaded.

Trills Fri 12-Apr-13 13:30:16

I do literal answers fairly often, sometimes with a puzzled I don't know why you think this would be unreasonable <head tilt> smile

LineRunner Fri 12-Apr-13 13:33:02

Maybe it's all in the presentation, then.

I would totally get 'I'm having a massive fight with my DSis who says my doilies are vile, AIBU to twat her?' but I just couldn't be arsed with 'AIBU to ask if these are nice doilies?'

DeafLeopard Fri 12-Apr-13 13:39:45

Trills I am so copying that - I love the PA head tilt too

Trills Fri 12-Apr-13 13:42:10

YABU to twat her but she is right your doilies are disgusting, what on earth were you thinking? grin

Perfect!

Trills Fri 12-Apr-13 13:43:47

You're asking is this is unreasonable? Oh dear, are you usually this insecure in your opinions? <head tilt>

LineRunner Fri 12-Apr-13 13:45:25

It all makes sense now.

Maryz Fri 12-Apr-13 22:12:46

You are wasting your time asking Mardy.

Even mnhq (yes, I'm looking at you Helen <narrows eyes>) encourage posting in aibu.

For example, last week there were two threads about The Village, on BBC1. One long one, in Telly Addicts, where it should be. A second on, entitled "AIBU to think there is too much misery in The Village".

Guess which one mnhq made their discussion of the day? Go on, guess.

(I'll give you a hint - it wasn't the one in Telly Addicts)

[mutter]

Maryz Fri 12-Apr-13 22:15:41

I report a lot (especially in October and November grin), but I've given up saying I have reported as I dislike the accusations of being Thread Police.

Trills and I (and a few others) aren't Thread Police.

We just like things tidy.

Goldenbear Sat 13-Apr-13 00:24:31

I agree with Tethersend.

tethersend Sat 13-Apr-13 00:45:12

Now there's a phrase you just don't hear often enough on MN.

MrsHoarder Sat 13-Apr-13 05:04:50

I love the idea of looking things tidy maryz.

rumbelina Sat 13-Apr-13 06:16:19

The other problem is that people put in the subject line, 'AIBU to ask which doily to use....' To which you can respond YABU/YANBU and the latter could then give the go-ahead to ask the question.

But usually they DON'T WAIT for the reply and ask anyway in the text bit.

It's untidy, I agree.

LineRunner Sat 13-Apr-13 15:33:52

For a logical positivist, it's a nightmare.

Trills Sat 13-Apr-13 16:23:25

Do you want to know what else winds me up?

When people ask "AIBU that my SIL is doing this thing?"

That makes no sense. How can it be unreasonable of you that someone else is doing something?

AIBU to think...?

AIBU to feel...?

AIBU to do...?

AIBU regarding...?

All of these are better.

MardyBra Sat 13-Apr-13 17:12:10

I wince at little at the "AIBU that my SIL is doing this thing?" posts, but I tend to assume the poster is struggling a bit to squeeze their query into the AIBU format and give them the benefit of the doubt.

Trills Sat 13-Apr-13 17:55:14

Those ones are often prime AIBU fodder, where the question is most definitely about whether someone is being unreasonable, the OP is just not very good at constructing sentences. So they are in the right place, just poorly written.

Oh, and when people say "So do you think I am AIBU?". Do we think you are what? Are you paying attention to what those letters mean?

Happens in chat too... I'm just putting this here because I want it to disappear and I'm too bone idle to NC so I'm not posting in the right place.

Or I posted in relationships but nobody replied in the split second between then and pasting this to post here

Argh if I wanted to read your misery I'd go to relationships. Chat is supposed to be light and fluffy!

EuroShaggleton Sat 13-Apr-13 18:51:19

I'm with tethersend. I struggle to come up with anything I care less about, tbh.

DeepRedBetty Sat 13-Apr-13 18:55:06

Hear hear re Relationships... I've got it hidden a lot of the time as I can only stand so much Other People's Unhappiness. I do occasionally visit, I'll pick up on a story and support on through - I've stuck with Pickles in her various incarnations for instance.

SoupDragon Sat 13-Apr-13 19:05:47

I agree with TethersEnd.

DeafLeopard Sun 14-Apr-13 00:55:03

Tethers everyone agrees with you.....on S&B

MardyBra Sun 14-Apr-13 10:38:31

It's great that there are some people who aren't bothered by this, but what if it were allowed to continue unchecked? Then the forum would just be AIBU because everyone would post there for "extra traffic".

MardyBra Sun 14-Apr-13 10:40:21

I think it's the queue-jumping aspect that irks me. The poster knows she won't get much of a response to the thread elsewhere. It's so un-British.

SoupDragon Sun 14-Apr-13 11:04:25

Then the forum would just be AIBU

No it wouldn't because the thread police would always be along, tutting and reporting.

Panzee Sun 14-Apr-13 11:13:23

I hate it too. I've got some topics hidden for a reason.

As we are moaning, I also hate the thread titles with half a sentence.
e.g.
"So I went to the shop and..."

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 14-Apr-13 12:37:22

Definitely pushchair or BF/FF threads on AIBU.
They have their own topics because no one else wants to read them, I do tend to post that they have their own topics for this.
I've only ever once started an AIBU thread, it was meant to go in chat, so I wrote a second post apologising it was on the wrong thread.
I still got told off, because no bugger RTFT though.

usualsuspect Sun 14-Apr-13 12:43:09

I disagree with tethersend.

LineRunner Sun 14-Apr-13 12:48:04

Bertrand Russell is turning in his grave.

Maryz Sun 14-Apr-13 12:48:22

I don't care whether everyone agrees with tethers or not.

She is wrong <gavel>

<realises everyone hates gavel as much as the thread police>

<doesn't care>

By the way, AIBU to be miffed that mnhq haven't addressed my point about the Village DOTD thread, and haven't responded to my complaint?

RowanMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 14-Apr-13 12:59:58

Maryz

I don't care whether everyone agrees with tethers or not.

She is wrong <gavel>

<realises everyone hates gavel as much as the thread police>

<doesn't care>

By the way, AIBU to be miffed that mnhq haven't addressed my point about the Village DOTD thread, and haven't responded to my complaint?

Sorry Maryz - we have seen it but tbh I'm not sure what the answer is right now! Will confer and come back to you as soon as we can.

Maryz Sun 14-Apr-13 13:05:19

Don't worry about it Rowan smile. I gather you have had hairy-handed visitors over the weekend, so I'm sure you have much more important things to deal with!

I'm just moaning a bit as usual

HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 14-Apr-13 13:23:03

Maryz

I don't care whether everyone agrees with tethers or not.

She is wrong <gavel>

<realises everyone hates gavel as much as the thread police>

<doesn't care>

By the way, AIBU to be miffed that mnhq haven't addressed my point about the Village DOTD thread, and haven't responded to my complaint?

Just seen this. All my fault. I was doing DOTDs, saw that Village thread and thought "Perfect!", and didn't see the other Village thread at all. Honest, guv.

And, even if I had, we'd probably have picked the thread that was most interesting, whatever topic it was in.

We def don't have a policy of favouring AIBU threads as DOTDs.

usualsuspect Sun 14-Apr-13 13:25:24

It's just taken me ages to work out what DOTD meant.

I've not been here long. grin

LineRunner Sun 14-Apr-13 13:29:13

If it's to do with The Village, probably Dawn of the Dead.

flowery Sun 14-Apr-13 13:30:14

YANBU OP.

From a personal point of view, I spend a lot of my time on MN giving advice on the Employment topic.

When someone posts about an employment issue in AIBU, what they often get lots of responses, but largely from people with strong opinions either way and/or who mean well but who don't actually know what they are talking about from a legal point of view.

If they post the same thread in Employment, they might not get a response within 5 minutes, and they might not get loads of responses, but when they get response they are more likely to be from posters who have experience/knowledge in the area.

usualsuspect Sun 14-Apr-13 13:33:42

I thought it meant Dawn of the Dead. grin

I was most confused.

Pan Sun 14-Apr-13 13:41:51

I agree with tethers.

<I am too dull and stupid to work out what she actually means. It's just a matter of faith.>

Maryz Sun 14-Apr-13 14:36:26

Oi, what's with all this agreeing with Tethers confused. Is she the new mn guru or what?

I must go over to S&B and see what it's all about.

But Helen, if you want to name a "Village" thread as dotd, should you not name the long-running TV addicts thread, so that everyone who wants to talk about it can do it there, rather than a new thread in aibu. The "most interesting one" will always be the one with most opinions, ie the one you put in dotd?

Almost always when I see a tv dotd it's a chat or aibu. You also do this a lot as well with news threads - there will already be a thread in "in the news", but instead of encouraging discussion there, you link to a "chat" or "aibu" thread instead.

It really does look as though you are encouraging discussion where there is "most traffic". Which is fine, if that's what you want.

But if that's the case will you for heaven's sake get rid of the topics.

Maryz Sun 14-Apr-13 14:41:23

And yes dawn of the dead would be a good way to describe the Village - God it's yawn-inducingly slow.

MintyyAeroEgg Sun 14-Apr-13 14:45:11

I really wish hq would do their own moderation on this matter. I am fed up of reporting non-aibu aibus. I could report 20 a day if I could be arsed. I have even given up posting sarcastic comments on the threads themselves ...

Pan Sun 14-Apr-13 14:52:08

no Maryz, tethers as guru is nothing new.hthwink

agree about The Village threads - the tv addicts one is more populated by well-expressed, considered drama critiques around plot, characterisation, nuanced inter-play between the dramatis personnae.
the other one is populated by Eastender types

HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 14-Apr-13 19:32:31

Maryz

Oi, what's with all this agreeing with Tethers confused. Is she the new mn guru or what?

I must go over to S&B and see what it's all about.

But Helen, if you want to name a "Village" thread as dotd, should you not name the long-running TV addicts thread, so that everyone who wants to talk about it can do it there, rather than a new thread in aibu. The "most interesting one" will always be the one with most opinions, ie the one you put in dotd?

Almost always when I see a tv dotd it's a chat or aibu. You also do this a lot as well with news threads - there will already be a thread in "in the news", but instead of encouraging discussion there, you link to a "chat" or "aibu" thread instead.

It really does look as though you are encouraging discussion where there is "most traffic". Which is fine, if that's what you want.

But if that's the case will you for heaven's sake get rid of the topics.

That's simply not true, Maryz - that bit about us encouraging discussion where there is most traffic. Choosing DOTDs just doesn't work like that.

We quite often link to Telly Addicts with TV DOTDs: the Britain's Got Talent on up there right now is a case in point.

Sometimes, though, there will be a thread that focuses on the particular aspect of an issue that we think worth highlighting - as was the case with The Village one, which was all about it being too miserable (or not). That seemed right for DOTD to us. And, dozy things that we are (well, OK, I am), we hadn't even clocked the longer-running Telly Addicts thread.

We completely agree with you that folks do put threads in the wrong topics - especially in AIBU when another topic would suit better - and we do wish everyone would use the full range of topics. We're also very happy to move threads from AIBU to a topic that would suit better - and we welcome reports that highlight a thread that could do with a move.

But we probably don't have the resources actually to "monitor" topics like AIBU for non-AIBUish threads that must be moved - and we suspect that might be a bit too Big Brother-ish anyway.

Maryz Sun 14-Apr-13 20:48:07

"But we probably don't have the resources actually to "monitor" topics like AIBU for non-AIBUish threads that must be moved - and we suspect that might be a bit too Big Brother-ish anyway."

Trills and I will do it for you [hopeful]

<ignores second part of sentence>

grin

<hops (temporarily) off hobby horse>

HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 14-Apr-13 21:48:52

Maryz

"But we probably don't have the resources actually to "monitor" topics like AIBU for non-AIBUish threads that must be moved - and we suspect that might be a bit too Big Brother-ish anyway."

Trills and I will do it for you [hopeful]

<ignores second part of sentence>

grin

<hops (temporarily) off hobby horse>

grin

Trills Mon 15-Apr-13 08:16:38

I don't think there's a "probably" about it - I'm fairly certain that the reason MN is "self-moderating" is simply because it would cost too much to hire people to do it. And if you had volunteer mods they'd be all uppity. Power corrupts y'know.

Maryz Mon 15-Apr-13 08:56:22

I wouldn't get uppity <bats eyelashes>

<lies>

Trills Mon 15-Apr-13 09:04:06

People would be mean to you if they got moved or deleted, even if it wasn't you.

They'd accuse you of having favourites.

It wouldn't be fun.

It's why MNHQ have other names when they post casually. Apart from Olivia and the West Wing.

Maryz Mon 15-Apr-13 09:08:49

I know all that Trills.

And I wouldn't really like to be a moderator (unless [lightbulb] I could be a secret one, with a "move thread" button and could do it all anonymously).

But it's all wrong. And untidy. And offends me [control-geek emoticon]

BIWI Mon 15-Apr-13 09:12:57

Just imagine the power, Maryz ...

Trills Mon 15-Apr-13 09:20:42

[lightbulb] indeed grin

magimedi Mon 15-Apr-13 11:46:28

It's why MNHQ have other names when they post casually.

I'd never thought of that! (Terminally stupid here)

MardyBra Mon 15-Apr-13 11:57:00

So which ones of you are really MNHQers in disguise?

Not Maryz, obviously. She gets into trouble too much.

SoupDragon Mon 15-Apr-13 12:00:03

if you had volunteer mods they'd be all uppity

They did have volunteer moderators. I don't recall any of them getting uppity.

Maryz Mon 15-Apr-13 12:20:38

To be fair Soup, if I was given the power I suspect I might get a tad uppity.

What with me being rather opinionated about everything grin

SoupDragon Mon 15-Apr-13 12:29:52

get uppity?

wink
[snigger]

MardyBra Mon 15-Apr-13 14:05:44

I would so get uppity. My shit list is short though. It wouldn't take long.

BIWI Mon 15-Apr-13 14:33:31

Ha! You'd be hunting them down, wouldn't you? wink

tethersend Mon 15-Apr-13 14:37:41

<checks watch>

Isn't it about time somebody agreed with tethersend?

Maryz Mon 15-Apr-13 14:47:32

<sticks tongue out at everyone>

I agree with Tethersend I suppose, since everyone else does for some reason grin

Trills Mon 15-Apr-13 16:14:12

I agree with MaryZ-with-a-Z

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now