OK MN I'm calling you on this one

(478 Posts)
EuniceDumbsdown Mon 01-Apr-13 16:54:14

Regular troll name changer starts nasty thread on Style & Beauty. You get masses of reports - even one from me! But you are leaving it because

"the OP is a long time Mumsnetter, who from time to time writes mischievous thread like this one.

She's a good egg though, and we know she doesn't mean any harm. With this in mind, we're going to leave the thread as it is"

So she deliberately starts a goading thread about fat people (again) but that's okay because she's deemed harmless not hurtful.

And I'm not fat so not taking it personally just asking for MNHQ to be consistent.

What thread?

Trazzletoes Mon 01-Apr-13 17:09:16

Fat arms on Come Dine with Me.

AnnoyingOrange Mon 01-Apr-13 17:09:43

Perhaps this should be posted on the relevant thread

PretzelTime Mon 01-Apr-13 17:09:56

I don't get it either. It's a goading thread that has nothing to do with Style and Beauty. http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/style_and_beauty/1720566-why-are-there-so-many-fat-leg-of-pork-arms-on-CDWM

On. I didn't even look at that one. I hid based on the title.

Its quite obvious if you look in Style & Beauty even I managed to find it grin
Rude and judgemental.
What a gem.

Sunnywithshowers Mon 01-Apr-13 17:11:46

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

MissAnnersley Mon 01-Apr-13 17:12:43

Agree with you OP.

tethersend Mon 01-Apr-13 17:13:01

I think if MNHQ pull that thread it would be absurd, and impact negatively on the spirit of the site.

A site where anything offensive is banned is not what I thought MN was... Some of the most interesting threads I've been on have had offensive OPs (golliwogs, anyone?)- I don't think they should be banned. Challenged, yes- but not banned.

Obviously the line has to be drawn somewhere, but I support MN in not drawing it here.

I say that as one with ham like arms.

MrsHeggulePoirot Mon 01-Apr-13 17:15:05

Same person that called everyone that users fb wankers yesterday. I have just looked up this thread to and also find it rude and unnecessary. I am all for lighthearted/ pisstake threads but agree that this doesn't strike me as 'mischievous' just rude in my opinion.

SoupDragon Mon 01-Apr-13 17:16:44

I believe Netmums probably has that level of site moderation.

PretzelTime Mon 01-Apr-13 17:16:57

tethersend - shouldn't they at least move it chat then? I fail to see how it's relevant to the board.

LineRunner Mon 01-Apr-13 17:18:34

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Mon 01-Apr-13 17:18:39

Oh this site...it's going to the dogs!

tethersend Mon 01-Apr-13 17:22:04

I've no problem with it being moved, just wouldn't want it pulled due to the implications for future threads.

QuickLookBusy Mon 01-Apr-13 17:24:48

I agree Mrs. I read the wanker comments too and although they were reported they weren't deleted.

I really don't understand MNHQ stance on this at all. Hully got warning emails about starting a spoof FUNNY thread about spoons and then another poster is allowed to post nasty insults. confused

There are quite a few threads posted on S & B that aren't technically S&B so, meh.

Didn't we have all this angst over the breton thread and before that the tunic thread?

A good bunfight always livens S &B up anyway. It's all a bit staid of late.

SecretLindtBunny Mon 01-Apr-13 17:26:22

the implication that because she is a long term name changing person she can start bullying threads is against the ethos of the site, surely?

Everyone of us who use MN should be held to the same rules and expectations. Why does this particular poster get an exemption?

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Mon 01-Apr-13 17:28:06

Haven't seen the thread and don't know who you're on about, but are they saying that it's ok to be a bitch sometimes and wind people up if you're an ok person really and you've been around for a while?


KatieMiddleton Mon 01-Apr-13 17:29:21

Sigh. There is a difference between someone gently piss taking (as per Facebook users comment) and stepping it up a level by starting whole goady threads but really, you don't have to engage. Just ignore thread or hide it. Fat people, class or whatever else she's posting to press your buttons are all unprotected groups and ignoring is the best way to kill a thread like that.

Also, Facebook users are not a protected group and I'm sure many were against the printing press in its day.

Just file this one with the attention seekers and move on. I believe threads like this are the preserve of what is termed Professionally Offended. You are not really fighting the good fight on this one, just getting a nasty tension headache from someone not significant enough to worry about unless you make them significant with your ire.

There are plenty of posters who say far more offensive things but with less humour hmm

UnsulliedTrampyPants Mon 01-Apr-13 17:30:43

I agree with the op. There seems to be some double standarding going on, and its a bit shit tbh.

Posters have had wrist slaps or been banned for behaving like this. Starting a series of goady threads is fucking shit.

EuniceDumbsdown Mon 01-Apr-13 17:31:00

I've posted on site stuff because I'd like MNHQ to clarify what makes someone a good egg just being mischievous and what makes them a goady fucker deserving of a warning or deletion.

SecretLindtBunny Mon 01-Apr-13 17:32:44

Katie- you don't have to be Professionally Offended to feel the bile that gets aimed towards certain sections of society.

It is snidy bitchy threads like the one reported that makes people think it's ok to jeer at fat people/homosexuals/disabled/people from other cultures.

PretzelTime Mon 01-Apr-13 17:32:54

The tunic thread was about clothes. This one is about fat arms on a tv-show about food. It's just mean-spirited and weird. I kinda agree with you Katie but seriously whut?
Can I go start some goady, mean random thread on a random board now too?

KatieMiddleton Mon 01-Apr-13 17:33:20

You don't know the poster in question hasn't been warned.

I don't like threads about specific posters. It's not nice even if they are trolls or goady fuckers

landofsoapandglory Mon 01-Apr-13 17:35:47

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

KatieMiddleton Mon 01-Apr-13 17:36:18

I think that's a leap Lindt bunny and I am very hot to report anything disablist or racist or misogynist I see.

There's not been anything yet of that ilk but when there is I reserve the right to change my opinion from attention-seeking stirrer to nasty poster who needs banning.

SecretLindtBunny Mon 01-Apr-13 17:36:36

If said poster has been warned, why does she continue to keep starting such threads?
Surely if you get a warning you tone it down/ cease the offending behaviour?

SecretLindtBunny Mon 01-Apr-13 17:37:38

So what about the threads/posts mocking fat people?
Do you always report those?

RebeccaMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 01-Apr-13 17:37:58

Hi all,

The thing is, we don't actually pull threads for being offensive, unless they are totally beyond the pale - how would we ever know where to draw the line?

If it is a personal attack, racist etc then of course we get rid. There is more in our Talk guidelines smile

We don't mind moving the thread at all but not because it's offensive - if the OP would like it moved, she can drop us a line.

QuickLookBusy Mon 01-Apr-13 17:38:18

Katie, why do you think it is ok for people to be goady about fat people?

The point I was making is that this poster gets reported on whatever she posts, whether it is about arms, tunics, bretons or whatever.

KatieMiddleton Mon 01-Apr-13 17:39:38

I don't know but I expect you get a couple of warnings first. I'm basing that on what Hully said and the "lovely" but departed PessaryPam

SecretLindtBunny Mon 01-Apr-13 17:39:54

So if it was a thread about gay people it would have been removed for being offensive, but because it's about fat people it can stay?

Seriously Rebecca?

KatieMiddleton Mon 01-Apr-13 17:40:22

Where did I say it was ok?

EuniceDumbsdown Mon 01-Apr-13 17:41:14

Then don't give yourself a tension headache, Kate.

QuickLookBusy Mon 01-Apr-13 17:41:47

Rebecca. Can I ask you why it's not ok to start a spoof thread about spoons, but it is ok to start a goady thread about fat people?

KatieMiddleton Mon 01-Apr-13 17:42:50

confused I don't have one thanks. I just hid it. Bit like I do when the toddler tantrums. I just ignore it until it stops.

QuickLookBusy Mon 01-Apr-13 17:44:56

Sorry Katie, that was the impression I got, as you said you'd report racism etc but not threads deliberately being goady about fat people.

lougle Mon 01-Apr-13 17:47:24

" SecretLindtBunny Mon 01-Apr-13 17:39:54

So if it was a thread about gay people it would have been removed for being offensive, but because it's about fat people it can stay?

Seriously Rebecca? "

Big difference in that being gay is a protected characteristic in law, and being fat is not.

I hate these sorts of threads but you can't equate being overweight with sexual orientation/race/disability/sexuality/age.

EuniceDumbsdown Mon 01-Apr-13 17:47:32

Rebecca - so you allow threads that are meant to goad? And it's ok to be offensive about fat people? And OP can drop you a line if she wants it moved?

Posterofapombear Mon 01-Apr-13 17:47:45

I got deleted on this thread. It was worth it.

SecretLindtBunny Mon 01-Apr-13 17:48:41

Lougle, so are you saying that it's okay to mock the overweight?

EuniceDumbsdown Mon 01-Apr-13 17:49:22

Lougle - what if obesity is caused by disability?

KatieMiddleton Mon 01-Apr-13 17:51:36

There's laws about racism etc. but not about fat people or class which I suspect is why MNHQ have drawn the line there. No point reporting if it doesn't break Talk Guidelines. It doesn't mean I and others won't think someone is an attention seeking berk or even an Atrocious Cunt.

I find the threads and posts mentioned tedious. I just ignore them rather than giving the poster what she wants which is your time.

I will add, a little provokatively, that anyone who took offence at Facebook users being wankers needs to get a grip. It made as much sense as saying peoe who read books are twats or those who phone their mother are bastards.

Snazzynewyear Mon 01-Apr-13 17:53:49

So different rules for MNHQ's best mate, eh?

Don't see how someone who only posts as a GF can be declared harmless.

KatieMiddleton Mon 01-Apr-13 17:54:17

I'm in the free speech unless it breaks the law camp on this one because I don't want to lose the silly threads like the spoons one. We need a bit of light relief.

QuickLookBusy Mon 01-Apr-13 17:55:34

Posts don't have to be against the law to break talk guidelines. Being goady is also against talk guidelines.

RebeccaMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 01-Apr-13 17:56:08

We do take your point that it's not very pleasant but we don't delete just because of offence - unless it breaks guidelines in doing so.

We included info about the poster to those reporting, so folks would know we weren't dealing with a troll or someone who'd just registered on MN to cause trouble.

SecretLindtBunny Mon 01-Apr-13 17:56:11

At the expense of overweight people?

And it's supposed to be taken on the chin because they aren't protected in law?

SecretLindtBunny Mon 01-Apr-13 17:58:24

You can read all the whys and wherefores behind our rules below but here's the nutshell version:
No personal attacks
No posts that break the law
No trolling, goading or misleading
No trollhunting
No spamming

QuickLookBusy Mon 01-Apr-13 17:59:02

But Hully got told not to post any more silly threads. Hence the site stuff thread which resulted in another (porto) site stuff thread, which ended up getting very personal.

It just doesn't make any sense that a spoons thread can generate an email from MNHQ, but GF comments and threads are ignored by MNHQ. I don't get it.

kinkyfuckery Mon 01-Apr-13 18:00:23

An an 'outsider' this thread is fucking hilarious.

Keep going.

whokilleddannylatimer Mon 01-Apr-13 18:00:55

I sometimes think what gets a warning depends on who you are posting, I have been here 7/8 years and I have seen people given warnings and other people not for doing similar things.

Sometimes it smacks of we can't warn X because they are one of the "popular girls and they don't really mean it"

Its one of the thinks that's riles me tbh.

DolomitesDonkey Mon 01-Apr-13 18:02:07

Well technically "fatism" is "disabalism" being as people over-eat due to mental health issues. Let's all mock the mentally ill.

All the cliques can fuck off too.

But goady threads get deleted all the time. hmm

Guess it's okay to slag off fat people then?

Personally, I couldn't care less about that thread but it isn't exactly fair to have different rules for different people.

I had comments deleted the other day when I was arguing with someone, I said I thought they needed parenting classes and to fuck off with something they said and that got deleted.

Technically wasn't a personal attack, wasn't illegal either. But this stands? hmm

Snazzynewyear Mon 01-Apr-13 18:03:29

But if someone's posting to be goady and uses a specific name for that, then they ARE a troll, Rebecca. Stick to your own rules instead of bending them for your pet posters.

hedgefund Mon 01-Apr-13 18:04:53

you told someone they needed pareting lessons and are surprised you got deleted?

Not surprised I got deleted, surprised that got deleted and someone slagging off a load of people for being fat isn't.

I was totally expecting that one to get deleted tbh.

Tortington Mon 01-Apr-13 18:06:23

i think you should send a standard e-mail in situations like this Mumsnet
they should Read

"Stop being a twat love"

that should do

Porpoise Mon 01-Apr-13 18:08:31

How do you know MNHQ haven't already sent a don't be a twat warning mail to the OP?

KatieMiddleton Mon 01-Apr-13 18:09:21

Well slagging off a load of people isn't a personal attack is it?

Perhaps we should post "Stop being a twat love" on the goady threads? Personally I think that should be allowed but I don't think it is these days.

Being overweight is not necessarily a disability, so that line of argument doesn't really stand up does it?

It's not, it's a personal attack.

Does that mean it's okay to go around calling people fat but they can't say anything back or they will get deleted?

SecretLindtBunny Mon 01-Apr-13 18:11:28

Exactly, Katie.

The only way people can defend themselves is to report to HQ. HQ come back with a reply like that one.

Calling someone out on threads for twattish behaviour now appears to be called "a personal attack" and yet the goading post is allowed to stand?
So unfair.

DolomitesDonkey Mon 01-Apr-13 18:11:40

What snazzy said - name-changing with the intent of causing upset is trolling 101 is it not?

DolomitesDonkey Mon 01-Apr-13 18:12:31

missbehive don't embarrass yourself by displaying your ignorance of mental illness, it's symptoms and effects.

MmeLindor Mon 01-Apr-13 18:15:04

Just wanted to say that I am not SecretLindtBunny, just in case there is some confusion. Was scanning this thread and say someone address, 'Lindt' and was all confused.

As to this thread, and the other one. I don't know. I can't seem to get riled about it. It is not a personal attack, cause she didn't say, 'Oi, Mme. You need to get on an exercise bike and work off some of that lard'.

She commented on the fat arms of people on a tv programme. Not particularly 'naice' but <shrug>.

GetOeuf Mon 01-Apr-13 18:15:58

How can a thread taking the piss out of ham hock arms be construed as mocking the mentally ill?

I don't think it's goady. Prob a chat thread tbh as opposed to style and beauty. Just one of many mildly piss taking threads that appear on here every day. Not a call to arms to mock fa people in general, just a select few who go on tv shows. See any thread about any tv show on mumsnet. You will see people commenting on what people look like - you might not think it is pleasant but it is not against talk guidelines.

And why the fuck are people still so hey up about the Breton tops thread?

Thanks for your concern Donkey but I have plenty of experience of MH issues. You can't assume that there is a medical or MH cause behind being overweight, sometimes, as in my case it can be an over indulgence in carbs from time to time.

hedgefund Mon 01-Apr-13 18:16:44

the op on other thread loves posting stuff like that, and people do get wound up! i do generally enjoy her posts though. most of the time they are funny.

agree with mme. have read far more offensive stuff on here. mostly about education wink

SecretLindtBunny Mon 01-Apr-13 18:17:51

I'll be going back to my usual name later this evening MmeLindor. smile

glitch Mon 01-Apr-13 18:18:59

Agree with MMeLindor, doesn't really seem much to get so worked up over. Perhaps everyone is getting a little tetchy after the long weekend. smile

SecretLindtBunny Mon 01-Apr-13 18:19:34

hedgefund- so why is this particular poster seemingly allowed to be bitchy?

Other posters aren't.

AmberLeaf Mon 01-Apr-13 18:20:28

Yes apparently goading is ok if you are a long standing poster (hiding behind a name change though)

It is then just 'having a laugh' or 'being witty'.

MNHQ should really take out the goady bit from talk guidelines, because it seems to mean different things to different people, so in effect is meaningless.

Amberleaf It also just makes it a bit pointless to link to the talk guidelines when what's being complained about is in it!


MmeLindor Mon 01-Apr-13 18:21:55

No worries, SecretLindtBunny. I wasn't trying to be arsey and OH HOW DARE YOU about it, just wanted to clarify.

How do we get from fat to MH issues?

tethersend Mon 01-Apr-13 18:21:59

Is anyone else getting the big picture of a (naice) ham on the MN local ad at the top of the screen?

Tee2072 Mon 01-Apr-13 18:22:42

And here's the inconsistency I've mentioned previously.

It's not one rule for all.

tethersand No, it's an ad for Hush hush?

hedgefund Mon 01-Apr-13 18:23:31

what was the other thread that was deleted then? i dunno i just find op funny, perhaps mn does too.

quite a lack of wit on here recently.

SecretLindtBunny Mon 01-Apr-13 18:23:41

I know that smile

hence the smiley. I guess the rest of my posts make it seem like I might have taken it that way? sorry.

TheSecondComing Mon 01-Apr-13 18:24:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tethersend Mon 01-Apr-13 18:25:42

Agree, Amber- 'goady' is v v subjective.

It could be argued that starting any debate is 'goady'

hedge Blame the never ending bloody snow!


FloatyBeatie Mon 01-Apr-13 18:26:15

Agree that the bit about being 'goady' should be cut out of the talk guidelines. It just means people think anything that makes them feel prickly is verboten.

Astonishing that people feel so strongly about a pop at bingo wings.

MmeLindor Mon 01-Apr-13 18:26:18

There is never going to be complete consistency, cause MNHQlers don't share a brain.

And I think that Amber is right. The 'goading' think is difficult to pin down cause people understand it differently. That long thread I started about GFers showed that. Not sure it helps, tbh.

KatieMiddleton Mon 01-Apr-13 18:26:44

I found the Facebook wankers comment funny in context. I didn't find the ham arms one funny but horses for course an' all that.

Unless you want bots moderating there will be inconsistency.

KatieMiddleton Mon 01-Apr-13 18:27:44

Hully's thread wasn't deleted.

ArteggsMonkey Mon 01-Apr-13 18:27:56

Agree with amberleaf.

Mocking people for being fat or working class = not against talk guidelines

Starting threads deliberately to wind people up then sitting back and lolling all over twitter = well, i thought it was against talk guidelines but obvs am mistaken.

She only does it to get attention. There is a touch of the sunset boulevards about this poster nowadays. Ignore.

UnsulliedTrampyPants Mon 01-Apr-13 18:29:18

I've not seen the thread in question, but there does seem to be a double standard at play. The poster in question has been starting threads like that forever, def since before I joined 6y ago. Does that mean its ok for her to do it because its mischevious, but hully and many others can't because its goady. What's the distinction?

Think Custardos summed it up perfectly.

I also think spoofing, is funny. I think that if you are posting a thread that can easily be construed as hurtful, than its not the way to go.

And I think that thread should be in Television, not chat or S&B.

KatieMiddleton Mon 01-Apr-13 18:30:02

There is a touch of the sunset boulevards about this poster nowadays.

Genius grin

AmberLeaf Mon 01-Apr-13 18:30:22

Namechanging to start a thread that you know will wind some people up is very goady.

BOEUF Mon 01-Apr-13 18:30:32

"Touch of the sunset boulevards"- that is quite possibly the most withering thing I have ever read on mumsnet grin

cruxible Mon 01-Apr-13 18:31:15

Pious and dull.

SecretLindtBunny Mon 01-Apr-13 18:31:40

"Touch of the sunset boulevards"

Genius. I am now laughing a bit.

Sunnywithshowers Mon 01-Apr-13 18:32:33

Arf at Sunset Boulevard.

MmeLindor Mon 01-Apr-13 18:36:43

arf indeed.

I wonder if people would have reacted so strongly if she had written 'bingo wings' rather than 'fat leg of pork arms'

FairyJen Mon 01-Apr-13 18:36:58

Sorry if I'm missing something but how do you know the op has done this before of they have name changed?

ArteggsMonkey Mon 01-Apr-13 18:37:09


Easter carb crashing makes me really bitchy, soz.

Don't know the thread or the poster but I am fed up with 'the OP is a long term MNer as an excuse'.

Fair enough as a response if you reported saying 'I think this is part of the newbie troll invasion', but if you report with 'this is a load of stirry shite designed to upset people', the response that the OP is a long-term MNer isn't exactly reassuring.

PretzelTime Mon 01-Apr-13 18:39:25

Where is that spoon thread I keep hearing about?

SecretLindtBunny Mon 01-Apr-13 18:39:34

She is a serial namechanger FairyJen. Has been for years.

Snazzynewyear Mon 01-Apr-13 18:41:17

grin at sunset boulevards.

It's the blatant 'one rule for certain people' thing that makes it annoying, regardless of the subject matter, though that's also not great.

Am now waiting to be told this is a thread about a thread so will be deleted. Although they're probably all whispering about us on Twitter instead.

DomesticCEO Mon 01-Apr-13 18:42:18

Fuck knows what MNHQ's definition of a "good egg" is if this poster qualifies as one hmm.

usualsuspect Mon 01-Apr-13 18:43:32

Her threads make me laugh,I know I should get all outraged about them but I don't.

DomesticCEO Mon 01-Apr-13 18:44:36

I've honestly never understood the fawning and arse licking that goes on around her. Bloody weird.

piprabbit Mon 01-Apr-13 18:47:29

Can I start a thread about willowy, fragrant regulars who have an uncontrollable urge to crap all over MN?

Oh how nice. So posters may be as rude as they wish to a group and as long as its mischievous its fine? I think that's really cr ap . There are plenty of overweight women whose self confidence is at zero because if the hatred fat women are on the receiving end of. Great to know thats now endorsed by mnet hq.

DomesticCEO Mon 01-Apr-13 18:56:27

Thing is NL, I'm considerably overweight and normally offended by this kind of shit but because its this particular poster who is rather tragic and needy in her desperation for attention I just think its sad.

MNHQ are being very playground in their double standards sadly hmm.

TheFallenMadonna Mon 01-Apr-13 18:57:46

It's groundhog day with added self righteousness at the moment.

I particularly liked the "how particularly sad that this should sully the style and beauty board" comments on the thread in question.

Hide the thread...

FairyJen Mon 01-Apr-13 18:59:22

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

FrankWippery Mon 01-Apr-13 19:02:13

It's goady shit from a poster who gets kicks from posting, well, goady shit.

So why the fuck does Hully get a rap and this one doesn't? Double standards, lovely.

Badvoc Mon 01-Apr-13 19:05:26

Mumsnet have their favourites.
Always been the same.
And this poster is well known for being a goady twat and trying to pass it off as being clever.
So, as I say...meh.

tethersend Mon 01-Apr-13 19:05:54

I posted a link to some shoes which sullied the S&B section the other day.

They sullied humanity.

Tethers grin

DomesticCEO Mon 01-Apr-13 19:08:21

MNHQ can we have a response on the double standards please?


ArteggsMonkey Mon 01-Apr-13 19:08:39

Were they clogs tethers?

TheFallenMadonna Mon 01-Apr-13 19:09:08

Goady is clearly the word of the moment. I've missed something. Where has it come from? confused

TheFallenMadonna Mon 01-Apr-13 19:10:43

And shame on you tethers. S&B is not the place for unpleasantness sad

MissAnnersley Mon 01-Apr-13 19:10:51

The Talk Guidelines fallenmadonna.

TheFallenMadonna Mon 01-Apr-13 19:11:58

Blimey. Do people read them? I thought they were like terms and conditions...

MissAnnersley Mon 01-Apr-13 19:12:32

No, they were linked to on here and quoted.

piprabbit Mon 01-Apr-13 19:12:40

This is the first goady fuckers thread that I can remember.


Came from a missive from MNHQ themselves. In regard to ops done to deliberately inflame.

The fucker bit followed on naturally.

MmeLindor Mon 01-Apr-13 19:14:56

yes, it is goady but I am struggling to get worked up about it. She has always posted stuff like this and although it is goady, it is done to stir things up. Not with real malice against a particular poster.

V different to those who post goady attacks in order to get others banned. Where it is more personal, if you see what I mean.

tethersend Mon 01-Apr-13 19:15:17

Arteggs, no, they were not clogs. They were... I can't actually... The horror... the horror...

I urge you to look at the thread. I'd link them here, but it would be the posting equivalent of setting off a small atomic device.

TheFallenMadonna Mon 01-Apr-13 19:16:05

I suppose the adding of fucker was indeed tediously inevitable.

iamsmokingafag Mon 01-Apr-13 19:16:20

I had a nightmare about those shoes last night

It's not the post though is it? It's the intention, and if the poster is on another open forum, sniggering that she is doing it to get negative or distressed reactions, than that's just a bit sad really.

Like the dog pissing on your slippers to get your attention.

ChippingInIsEggceptional Mon 01-Apr-13 19:20:54

MNHQ - I think the CDWM thread is disgusting, it is goading and nasty, but fair enough, fat people aren't protected by law - so let it stand hmm then while you are at it, tell Hully off for starting a daft thread about spoons, which frankly, you'd have be as thick as fuck not to realise was a joke thread and complain about it. On what planet do those two things, side by side, make sense?

IamtheZombie Mon 01-Apr-13 19:22:33

Zombie is lost. She has no idea on God's green earth who the poster is or used to be. She agrees that the thread is unpleasant.

She is also confused about bingo wings. She thought they were the loose flappy bits one tends to get under their upper arms as one matured.

Nor is she impressed with the seeming double standards.

Perhaps she should just go for a quiet lie down.

Tethers Was that the thread about the weird swirly shoes by some architect? I kind of thought that was some kind of April fool!

Coconutty Mon 01-Apr-13 19:23:59

I don't recognise the name at all.

MysteriousHamster Mon 01-Apr-13 19:26:30

The CDWM thread is horrible. Obvious trolling. I'm surprised and disappointed that you're letting it stand.

It's not just offensive - it's clearly trolling.

TheFallenMadonna Mon 01-Apr-13 19:26:37

The name is new. The style, and indeed the hang up re body fat, is older than the overuse of the word fucker...

MmeLindor Mon 01-Apr-13 19:29:05

Didn't see the spoon thread. What was it about?

I am overweight with bingo wings / pork arms / whatever you want to call them. I don't see the thread as an attack on me, and am not upset by it. It was goady though, so probably should be deleted, if MNHQ are deleting all goady trolly threads.

Machli Mon 01-Apr-13 19:31:49

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.


Hully posted an op, outraged that she lent her neighbour 4 teaspoons and only 3 were returned.

The sheer level of frothing in the op indicated it was posted to be taken lightly.

RebeccaMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 01-Apr-13 19:40:14


It's goady shit from a poster who gets kicks from posting, well, goady shit.

So why the fuck does Hully get a rap and this one doesn't? Double standards, lovely.

We don't really think that we have displayed double standards.
We have mailed both OPs and left both threads to stand.

HotCrossPun Mon 01-Apr-13 19:42:22

Am I the only one who doesn't have a clue who everybody is talking about?

If she name changes for all these threads how do you know it's the same person each time?

<awaits guidance from MN super-sleuths>

FairyJen Mon 01-Apr-13 19:43:11

Fair enough rebecca in that case did the posters who reported hullys thread get a response message describing her as a "good egg" who means no harm?

Im not trying to stir just genuinely curious...

MmeLindor Mon 01-Apr-13 19:47:44

(great name, btw) I can generally spot her, and think many others can too.

Is the spoons one still there? Or did it get deleted. It sounds like fun.

TheFallenMadonna Mon 01-Apr-13 19:51:37

MNHQ didn't post on the spoon thread. The OP posted that people had apparently complained. Although Lord knows why...

ubik Mon 01-Apr-13 19:51:58

Good for you mumsnet.

Guys, just hide the thread if you don't like it. It's no big deal.

HotCrossPun Mon 01-Apr-13 19:52:11

Thanks MmeLindor, - now I'm really intrigued! Must be because I'm a newbie, I'm going to keep my eyes open grin

TheFallenMadonna Mon 01-Apr-13 19:53:02

Oh, you mean reply to complainers? No idea. Did anyone start a thread about it...?

hedgefund Mon 01-Apr-13 19:54:33

the spoon thread sounds fascinating

anyway op on the other thread has been hauled over the coals now for it so everyone should be happy

let it go people

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

RebeccaMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 01-Apr-13 19:59:41


Fair enough rebecca in that case did the posters who reported hullys thread get a response message describing her as a "good egg" who means no harm?

Im not trying to stir just genuinely curious...

In all honesty, I don't know, but I doubt it as we try and respond to reports personally when we can, so every mail will be slightly different.

There are a few of us working here and we work hard on continuity but as someone said up thread (or down depending on how you view) we don't share a brain so sometimes our responses will differ.

We like to think when we get things wrong, we hold our hands up, it does happen quite a lot blush but we do try our best to be as fair as possible.

landofsoapandglory Mon 01-Apr-13 20:00:35

That's the one, Behindlocknumbernine!

AmberLeaf Mon 01-Apr-13 20:01:42

Behindlocknumbernine. Yes.

Oh. I see. Thanks for confirming. Thought she'd left (and taken her mouldie lemmings with her to some secret underground burrow that was password protected)

Snazzynewyear Mon 01-Apr-13 20:03:00

I've never seen her be funny. Must have been at least five years ago.

hedgefund Mon 01-Apr-13 20:04:38

oh so now it's acceptable to be rude about her!

usualsuspect Mon 01-Apr-13 20:06:37

A thread just to be rude about another poster isn't acceptable either.

Everyone will just pile in now getting more and more nasty.

MmeLindor Mon 01-Apr-13 20:08:03

Look, whatever you think of her, is it necessary to call her names? Someone called her a b*tch on the other thread.

And FGS get over the Mouldies.

usualsuspect Mon 01-Apr-13 20:08:19

Fair enough, ask the questions to MNHQ about why the thread was allowed to stay.

But I was under the impression PA were not allowed>

SecretLindtBunny Mon 01-Apr-13 20:08:39

and hedgefund- you know this because...?

No, but I am sure MNHQ will tell us all we are good eggs and mean no harm...
That is how these things go, no? grin

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Mon 01-Apr-13 20:09:26

agreed, usualsuspect. poster A. posts about the amount of fat arms on a tv show... fifty posters post about what a cunt they've always found poster A. to be. nice.

hedgefund Mon 01-Apr-13 20:09:26

know what?

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 01-Apr-13 20:09:48


oh so now it's acceptable to be rude about her!

Erm. No it's not.
We don't tolerate personal attacks.


SecretLindtBunny Mon 01-Apr-13 20:09:55

that she's been hauled across the coals.

Not on that thread she hasn't.

BOEUF Mon 01-Apr-13 20:10:50

Yes, I reported the horrible comment on the other thread. But if the Norma Desmond one goes, I'm leaving grin

So do we know what the definition of "goady" is? Seeing as it's in the talk guidelines, might save time if we know what threads are "goady" and which are just mean to be funny? Is it number of posts by the OP?

MmeLindor Mon 01-Apr-13 20:11:15

<sends Olivia gin>

TheFallenMadonna Mon 01-Apr-13 20:11:34

Pretty sure some of these posts break talk guidelines just as much as "goady" threads.

Codbashing is the accepted vocab I believe.

GetOeuf Mon 01-Apr-13 20:11:50

So according to this thread and the last one it is completely beyond the pale to make bitchy comments about generic subjects, but absolutely fine and dandy to slag off mumsnetters by name.

Ok then.

hedgefund Mon 01-Apr-13 20:12:23

well i'm not wasting my valuable bank holiday arguing the toss about this

knots landing is on later

AmberLeaf Mon 01-Apr-13 20:13:04

That is why she posts that stuff though. It is attention seeking whatever the outcome.

She'll be loving the outrage and loving all the 'support' posts too.

It all gets discussed over on twitter.

Redbindy Mon 01-Apr-13 20:13:21

Katie I'm with you on this one. There is a whole lot of difference between lifestyle choices and genetics.

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Chubfuddler Mon 01-Apr-13 20:15:13

Oh look it's another pile in against a well known poster. What a surprise. Whose turn is it next? Pag? Aitch? Hecate?

Grow up the lot of you.

usualsuspect Mon 01-Apr-13 20:16:49

How much will you pay me to defend you when it's your turn, Chub?

EggyFucker Mon 01-Apr-13 20:16:55

The original poster of the fat arms thread posted something funny, once

In 2008

I remember it well. How strange she is still attempts to trade on it. And I wonder if she dines out on it, around her table.

SecretLindtBunny Mon 01-Apr-13 20:17:12

In general, it's about double standards chubfuddler

EggyFucker Mon 01-Apr-13 20:17:14


NoelHeadbands Mon 01-Apr-13 20:19:02

So between ths thread and the other, I'm now imagining Prince Philip in a Norma Desmond turban

hedgefund Mon 01-Apr-13 20:19:30

i think she's funny, mn is pretty boring without her imo

(counts ££££)

MandragoraWurzelstock Mon 01-Apr-13 20:19:43

I haven't read the thread but can guess perfectly well who started it all. She is the Jeremy Clarkson of MN and I love her.

The whole thing isn't goady it is self deprecatory and tongue in cheek

it is subtle difference and one that is fairly hard to explain in a tangible sense

but I just laugh when I see her doing this again. If you don't know the history, don't get the gist, then yes it will sound goady and hurtful but it isn't meant that way.

jmo <slinks off>

Chubfuddler Mon 01-Apr-13 20:20:08

I'm not significant enough usual.

I fail to see a double standard. Come Dine With Me holds the majority of its contestants up to ridicule. A thread on the Internet joining in the ridicule is hardly a big deal.

AlistairSim Mon 01-Apr-13 20:25:26

GF doesn't mean Gina Ford anymore, does it?

Bugger, I'll never catch up.

landofsoapandglory Mon 01-Apr-13 20:26:25

No, it's not Chub, it's about the double standards.

The GF OP of the goady thread is apparently 'mischievous' and 'doesn't mean any harm'. But as 'she is a good egg' her thread is left, when other goady threads are deleted, and the op of spoof ones about spoons, who offend no-one is told to cool it.

It makes no sense to me. Posters have complained about it because they are hurt and offended, but MNHQ don't care because they think that the fishy one meant no harm. Other people think she did, because she has history of starting threads like that one.

MmeLindor Mon 01-Apr-13 20:27:25

We really aren't talking about it on Twitter. Or not much.

I don't always defend her, but I do defend anyone who is called nasty names for starting a silly goady attention seeking thread.

Chubfuddler Mon 01-Apr-13 20:29:01

I think as explained by hq representative up thread there's not so much a double standard as slightly differing approaches across individual mods. Neither hully nor cod meant any real harm, if you think they are not funny or a bit stupid you can hide the thread.

SecretLindtBunny Mon 01-Apr-13 20:30:46

Fair enough MmeLindor, but that wasn't the original intent.

People get angry and upset about double standards. Quite rightly.

FloatyBeatie Mon 01-Apr-13 20:32:45

The tragedy about all this recent controversy is that I need to start an entirely genuine spoon thread but now no one will believe me.sad

I found another antique spoon in my garden (the number of spoons Edwardians dropped while taking tea al fresco is amazing). I want help identifying its hallmarks and other oddities. But no chance now as all spoons on MN will be deemed as stirring.

I was not aware I was calling her names. Unless calling her fishy counts hmm
I was however bemused by the protecting of her that goes on. Because to my mind she does not always deserve the loyalty.

I thought she had left, she obviously had not but I had not noticed. That shows how little she affects my day to day mning.

And just because a thread is started in jest, it does not always mean it is nice and correct.

That said, we don't always have to do the nice and correct thing.

What raised my eyebrows was the mnhq message where she was described as a harmless good egg.
It shows a spot of MNhq favouritism and that to my mind is not cricket.

Will bow out now, going to find Pag's cocktail and sun fuelled 'no fight' thread, seems a safer place tonight smile

MmeLindor Mon 01-Apr-13 20:34:13

Yes, agree Chub. Is the Hully one still there?

Double standards are annoying but unless we clone Justine, we won't ever have truly standard responses.

And even then. I am sure Justine reacts differently at certain times of the day and night and after the third gin

Maryz Mon 01-Apr-13 20:34:44

Goodness, Chub, what a novel suggestion, hiding threads.


I have to say, finding the <hide thread> button did wonders for my blood pressure.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Mon 01-Apr-13 20:35:01

what on EARTH happened to hully? and stop holding cod responsible for it, it's got bog all to do with her.
i've got old saggy arms, btw. i'd love fat, ham leg, filled up arms because then i would wear sleeveless tops and not give a fuck what anyone said about it. (i'd prefer muscley ones, tbh, but that would require some work).
honestly, people, don't take your body ishoos out on everyone else.

MmeLindor Mon 01-Apr-13 20:36:03

Can I nominate Floaty for QOTW for this

I found another antique spoon in my garden (the number of spoons Edwardians dropped while taking tea al fresco is amazing). I want help identifying its hallmarks and other oddities. But no chance now as all spoons on MN will be deemed as stirring

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Mon 01-Apr-13 20:36:55

arf at 'stirring'.

Chubfuddler Mon 01-Apr-13 20:36:55

Floaty if I knew anything about spoons I would happily take that thread at face value.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Mon 01-Apr-13 20:37:12

lol, lindty, x-post.

SecretLindtBunny Mon 01-Apr-13 20:40:20

We aren't holding Cod responsible for Hully's thread.

We are trying to get MNHQ to apply the same rules for everyone.

KatieMiddleton Mon 01-Apr-13 20:42:00

These double standards, erm, what double standards? Those comparing what happened to Hully with what happened here are getting worked up about something that never happened.

Both threads got reports.
Both ops got an email from MNHQ
Both threads still stand
Both lots of people who reported got mails informing the reporter that the op was alright (confirmed on Hully's site stuff thread by HQ)

If you're complaining because you object to fatist posts then make your case. If you're objecting to the rather subjective use of 'goading' in Talk Guidelines then make your case. If you feel that the threads started are not in the spirit of the site or beyond the pale make your case. But please don't trot out the double standards schtick because there isn't one here when looking at what happened with Hully. And if you just object to Her Fishiness then have a word with yourself because you're actually doing exactly what you are piously bleating about yourself.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Mon 01-Apr-13 20:42:15

well stop slagging her off, then. i believe HQ has been alerted to the fact that some perceive a double standard, and has answered it.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Mon 01-Apr-13 20:43:45

amen, KM.

what did Hully do, btw? she's not flounced, has she? do hope not.

KatieMiddleton Mon 01-Apr-13 20:49:43

Nah. Hully's ok. She did a joke thread. A few people with a fully operational sense of humour bypass reported it and MNHQ sent her a mail asking her to cool it. She took the hump quite rightly in my opinion, it was obviously a joke and started a thread. That thread turned into a big of a luuuurve-in, then it all kicked off and I took a few days out for RL and then there was a spin off whinge fest thread and now we're all Just Spoiling For A Fight without actually stopping to think if we're really up in arms about something or just mildly irritated.

Or, in a nutshell, some folks have forgotten there's a hide thread button and they'd do well to remember it.

IamtheZombie Mon 01-Apr-13 20:53:47

Superb synopsis, Katie.

FrugalFashionista Mon 01-Apr-13 20:54:48

I think protected/tolerated namechangers on MN may send other long-term MNers elsewhere... < looking for a new forum>

MNHQ, please draw a line here.

It's not mischievous, it's completely off topic and insulting.

MmeLindor Mon 01-Apr-13 20:57:39

OMG. I just searched 'hully spoons'. here the first one if you are interested

There have been loads of threads about it.

What a palaver. Did none of you play with your kids over Easter?

And MNHQ posted that they didn't warn Hully. They asked her to lay off the spoof threads cause they were getting lots of reports.

Maybe we should all be a bit more careful about reporting threads.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Mon 01-Apr-13 20:58:01

enter the topic cops.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Mon 01-Apr-13 20:59:08

lol at 'didn't you play with your kids over easter?' grin i did. more fool me, they're very annoying and i missed a big stooshie on MN. i'll not be doing it again...

Badvoc Mon 01-Apr-13 20:59:36

Well said frugal.

Chubfuddler Mon 01-Apr-13 21:01:17

Me too aitch. I didn't see the actual spoon thread nor would have noticed the ham arms one but for the kurfuffle.

FloatyBeatie Mon 01-Apr-13 21:09:11

When people get the knives out about a spoon thread, I think MN has come to a fork in the road.

Perhaps its time to lay all cutlery on the table so that wrong doers can eat humble pie as their just desserts.

Trills Mon 01-Apr-13 21:11:06

Both threads got reports.
Both ops got an email from MNHQ
Both threads still stand
Both lots of people who reported got mails informing the reporter that the op was alright (confirmed on Hully's site stuff thread by HQ)

What Katie said.

When accusing MNHQ of double standards do try to use at least a little bit of your brain to consider all of the things that you know you are not aware of (and then bear in mind that there may also be unknown unknowns as well).

Tortington Mon 01-Apr-13 21:15:51

comparing being fat to race or gender is insulting. The thread was mean, and (as ever) meant in a mean spirited way. With the fall back of ' oh you have a SOH fail' if you speak up.

Should it be a MNHQ issue? no. I am mighty glad mnetters called this thread for what it is.

ubik Mon 01-Apr-13 21:16:35

The 'running to teacher' mentality is bizarre - as if too cannot bear to let an offensive thread stand because ..well why? there are worse things in life than being offended and you can always hide the thread and let the moderators do their job.

MmeLindor Mon 01-Apr-13 21:16:35

If you don't include Floaty's posts in the roundup, I will FLOUNCE. [said flouncily]

MmeLindor Mon 01-Apr-13 21:18:38

The thread wasn't naice, but it on a Troll Scale of 1 - 10, it barely registered.

The troll threads that do harm are much much worse than this.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Mon 01-Apr-13 21:19:43

yes, absolutely, because that's what the threads are for, Custy, to point that stuff out. but as for going to report it to HQ, imo things need to be more serious.
and listen, re the roundup, how many times? it needs to be a THREAD. not just single funny posts. A thread of funniness and banteriness, which this most certainly is not... grin

Pan Mon 01-Apr-13 21:25:53

But isn't there a direct connecting thread between LaQueen's mockingness re women whom she considers less well-blessed than she, and cod's mocking of women with fat upper arms?
On a site 'supportive' of women/mothers in particular?hmm

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Mon 01-Apr-13 21:30:42

jeez, now you're dragging someone else into it?

MmeLindor Mon 01-Apr-13 21:31:17

The spoon thread is rather amusing, Aitch, and you could then include Floaty's post too.

I am reading the spoon thread. HOW THE FUCK DID ANYONE THINK TO REPORT IT?

And truly, MNHQ. I luff you really, but it was silly right from the start. Unless there is a lot of Trills unknown unknowns, I can't see why Hully was asked to refrain from posting stuff like that.

EggyFucker Mon 01-Apr-13 21:31:58

Aitch, it must be very difficult to find a thread for the round up that is only funniness and banteriness, tbh

Chubfuddler Mon 01-Apr-13 21:32:05

Unknown unknowns make me think of Donald Rumsfeld.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Mon 01-Apr-13 21:32:08

the spoon thread's not that amusing... it's okay... i don't really get it. certainly have NO idea what was offensive about it.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Mon 01-Apr-13 21:32:30


EggyFucker Mon 01-Apr-13 21:33:40

< points two fingers at my eyes, then Aitch's eyes, then my eyes again >

Pan Mon 01-Apr-13 21:34:13

well lots of posts/threads get deleted 'as not in the spirit of the site'. And understandably so. < tho' 'defending' cod as a good egg poss. indicates to others there could be a double standard operating. tricky>

piprabbit Mon 01-Apr-13 21:35:22

Does anyone else think that extended bank holidays seem to bring out the worst in MNers? Christmas and now Easter. Perhaps it the pressure of being at home with our love ones?

IamtheZombie Mon 01-Apr-13 21:35:34

It's only Monday, Aitch. Don't give up hope.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Mon 01-Apr-13 21:35:35

lol, eggy. keep it LIGHT, you bastards.

EggyFucker Mon 01-Apr-13 21:38:31

Paggy's thread ?

MmeLindor Mon 01-Apr-13 21:38:38

You could be on to something there.

there is a lot of shoutiness around.

MintyyAeroEgg Mon 01-Apr-13 21:50:31

I think its fair enough if HQ have their favourites, tbh. Op of the arms thread has put in at least a decade of loyal service and she and many many others of her era helped to give Mumsnet its excellent reputation as a parenting forum which won't bore you to actual tears while you are reading it. A reputation which is quickly being lost as the site quietly morphs into a place where you can't say or do the slightest littlest subversive thing without someone reaching for the report button.

piprabbit Mon 01-Apr-13 21:50:31

Late May Bank Holiday weekend is due to coincide with a full moon.
I might ask DH to disable broadband for a few days.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Mon 01-Apr-13 21:50:42

I have NEVER found a spoon in any of my gardens, Edwardian or otherwise. Harumph.

I have found an empty beer bottle and a vest top though.

I conclude Floaty lives in a naicer place than me grin

Stepissue Mon 01-Apr-13 21:51:51

Just seems weird that someone namechanges to write goady posts. Why bother? confused Isn't it a form of trolling?

DomesticCEO Mon 01-Apr-13 21:52:55

Minty, see it's that kind of sycophancy that really bemuses me in relation to this confused.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Mon 01-Apr-13 21:58:12

fucking hell, saying that people on CDWM have fat arms is hardly 'goady'. jesus...

Stepissue Mon 01-Apr-13 22:02:09

Really Aitch? I think we'll have to agree to disagree on that. It's not the first time that poster has written similar things, if you write a similar op 14 times surely it's goady?

ubik Mon 01-Apr-13 22:04:49

A lot of people do have fat arms.

I'm always more shocked at the lack of hygiene on CDWM. The fingers in everything, the spoon in bolognaise sauce, into mouth and back in sauce. Yuck.

I think you are all massively missing the most important point of all.

Which is thus

I have a MASSIVE piece of chocolate cake right now. And you all don't.

<<runs way trailing crumbs>>

GetOeuf Mon 01-Apr-13 22:06:48

What Katie and trills said with knobs on.

And mentioning lequeen - when you are omplaining about ham arm and Citroen Picasso slag offs not bring in the spirit of the site, you may remind yourself that personal attacks and threads about threads are actually banned. In case that has been forgotten in the competitive mealy mouthedness which this thread and others are fll of.

GetOeuf Mon 01-Apr-13 22:07:16

Full of. Damn fingers,

Stepissue Mon 01-Apr-13 22:07:18

Hotcross - you utter cowbag! grin I'm gagging for chocolate cake right now sad

MintyyAeroEgg Mon 01-Apr-13 22:08:18

Heh heh! don't worry DomesticCEO, I am just about the least sycophantic person you could meet. I was only trying to make a serious point about the lifecycle of a forum and the role that the early adopters have in shaping its reputation. But I take very few of the insults I receive on Mumsnet seriously: including being described as a sycophant and having "pork leg arms". They neither of them trouble me.

MmeLindor Mon 01-Apr-13 22:09:59

Isn't it to be expected, that MNHQ react differently to a thread posted by someone who has been a MNetter for longer than most of the MNHQlers have been working for MN?

If I were to post something controversial and it were to be reported, I would assume that MNHQ would react differently, than if JoeyFirstTimePosterBloggs posted the same OP.

Its this one I'm eating the mini eggs right now, having licked off all the caramel icing <<happy>>

See if people spent less time composing snarky posts they'd have more time to bake cake. Then they cut the cake, sit down with mnet, feel good and type nice shit whilst they eat. And typing burns calories.

You all Mnet wrong.

Stepissue Mon 01-Apr-13 22:15:53

One very good thing has come from this thread - 'typing burns calories' that I did not know before reading. I thank you HotCross grin

ubik Mon 01-Apr-13 22:16:01

I just don't understand why a post about fat arms is considered so fuvking controversial or 'goady'

Although I'm off to work now so it's dawned on me that I don't give a shiney shit.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Mon 01-Apr-13 22:16:13

och, away... as if anyone's posted about fat arms '14 times'... this is too silly.

DomesticCEO Mon 01-Apr-13 22:17:10

Minty, not sure being called sycophantic was really meant as that much of an insult!! I'm just genuinely confused.

I've posted on MN for some years now and one of the 1st threads I read was by this particular poster and it was really cruel (relating to a long running bereavement thread at the time) and ever since then the bowing and scraping and general arse licking just really confuses me. Mme, that's partly why I find MNHQs attitude weird too.

But, each to their own. I just tend to enjoy the company of people, whether virtual or RL, who have interesting things to say and aren't just vile for the sake of it. Life's too short.

ubik Mon 01-Apr-13 22:17:15

Hoping there will be cake at with. One lady does a lovely coconut cake.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Mon 01-Apr-13 22:22:20

perhaps it wasn't really cruel, though, did you ever consider that? perhaps the thread expressed something that a lot of people had been thinking for a while (not you, DomesticCEO, if it was the first thing you read on here) and perhaps that's what explained the fact that people were sticking up for her/the thread.

really, you're not in a position to make a judgement if you'd never been on the site before.

Stepissue Mon 01-Apr-13 22:24:08

not fat arms necessarily, but fat people in general, probably more than 14.

Anyway, as ubik says, it too has just dawned on me that I don't give a shiny shit, I have GoT to watch grin


notnowbernard Mon 01-Apr-13 22:24:53

I'm still chuckling at AlistairSim and the GoadyFucker/GinaFord twist
(I'm behind withall this shit too)

In fact, when did FatArms become trolling?! Compared to some of the stuff I remember from a few years back, FA is like a walk In The Night Garden comparatively...

DomesticCEO Mon 01-Apr-13 22:25:08

That was the first thing I saw, not the last - so I think I'm still entitled to make a judgement based on a fair few years smile.

And I'm not of the mind that it's necessary to always express what you're thinking - especially when it can cause unnecessary upset to others going through a difficult time. Never seen the point of it.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Mon 01-Apr-13 22:26:11

see i disagree, actually. the person concerned often posts on matters of perceived taste, i don't think she gives a damn about fatness per se.

DomesticCEO Mon 01-Apr-13 22:28:28

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Mon 01-Apr-13 22:29:45

DomesticCEO, i am explaining your confusion re 'sycophancy' (which is insulting, no point being disingenuous about it). what you find 'cruel', other people might equally think 'oh THANK GOD someone's finally said it'. they might not have said it themselves, either because the thought had not quite crystallised or because they would be too frightened to release the shitstorm of po-faced disapproval. that's one thing cod doesn't care about, and the chief reason i'm very glad when she's around.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Mon 01-Apr-13 22:30:41

oh, come on! personal attack.

Stepissue Mon 01-Apr-13 22:31:29

Yay! 'po' got mentioned grin

Really off to bed and GoT now.

MmeLindor Mon 01-Apr-13 22:33:37

yes, think she is a style / taste snob, not fat-ist

I don't know. I have read a few comments about her being cruel but have rarely seen it. Close to the bone, cutting and quite snobbish at times and I disagree with her on lots of political points.

And mainly her snark is directed at a group of people (such as Croc wearers or Breton top wearers) not at individuals.

I have worn both Crocs and Breton tops, sometimes at the SAME TIME, and have fat arms. Do I give a shit if a random person on the internet raises a judgey nose in the air? Do I hell.

FloatyBeatie Mon 01-Apr-13 22:34:14

I like 'och,away' Aitch. It sounds lovely. In my part of the country it would be 'away,man' (to man or woman).

I'm just amazed by this thread. Increasingly I think users have such weird expectations of moderation that it becomes impossible for the staff to moderate the site in any sensible way.

DomesticCEO Mon 01-Apr-13 22:35:45

That's the double standards I love grin - she's allowed to insult who she likes but she's a "good egg" and an "old timer", etc, etc but anyone responds and we're making personal attacks.

If she can't take it she shouldn't dish it out.

Report it and get it deleted - I'm not a recognised MN favourite so I'm sure you'll have no trouble getting it removed smile.

And I'm a little confused about you "explaining my confusion about sycophancy".

HotheadPaisan Mon 01-Apr-13 22:36:48

Aitch, some thoughts don't need to be said out loud though do they? Things around personal appearance and all that. Fair enough to say I like how this or that looks but it isn't necessary to criticise people publically based on physical characteristics, how does that really add to much in life?

Haven't read any of it (apart from the spoons saga), I have just about every topic hidden nowadays but still really enjoy the ones I read.

HotheadPaisan Mon 01-Apr-13 22:41:34

Also in general I don't think it works to attack back either imo, just got to say you don't like it/ don't agree or hide it or report or whatever, no need to get personally insulting by return however much you disagree with something, it just drags the whole thing down into a public slanging match.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Mon 01-Apr-13 22:42:00

hothead, she was just saying how the contestants on CDWM were over-represented on the fat arms front. no biggie. nothing personal to anyone, just havign a josh about a show where people are joshed throughout.

and she's taken more personal shite on here than anyone, so no, i disagree that she can't take it. she has taken it.

re the reporting... no. i don't report, by and large, not unless it's really appalling. i think you writing that personal attack, while criticising cod for making much more general attacks, speaks volumes about you and would always rather leave it for everyone to see.

MintyyAeroEgg Mon 01-Apr-13 22:44:21

DomesticCEO - I really think you are not trying hard enough to get a grasp on what is actually being said here and instead you are just seeing what you want to see. But, of course, I offer the same invitation to you - if you find what I have said to be offensive, then I am quite happy for you to use the report button.

HotheadPaisan Mon 01-Apr-13 22:44:48

I don't watch much telly and I appreciate the argument that people put themselves out there and all that but still not sure what it adds to mock their physical characteristics (if that's what happened, haven't read). I really don't like mocking.

KatieMiddleton Mon 01-Apr-13 22:44:48

Right. I've thought about this very carefully and I hope Marmalade's thread about the PTA cake-off goes into the round-up. A special mention must go to the inventor of CuntBunting because I fear the author of that astonishing idea of great and wondering genius has been missed and she'll want her royalties wink grin

Oh and while I'm here I want the round-up back in the round-up place on the bar at the top please.

ubik Mon 01-Apr-13 22:48:25

The PTA bake off was a classic

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Mon 01-Apr-13 22:50:47

that might have been a good point to make, Hothead, of course, and then it would have been a good discussion rather than a load of bosom-heaving and reaching for the 'report' button. grin

Snazzynewyear Mon 01-Apr-13 22:50:58

Aitch, where has she taken it? She only seems to post goady threads where attracting criticism is part of the point. Where else is she interacting on MN that draws personal criticism - where, presumably, she is posting something about herself? Or did all that go on back in the Golden Age of MN?

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Mon 01-Apr-13 22:51:15

link to the PTA bakeoff? (with proviso that cunt is tricky)

HotheadPaisan Mon 01-Apr-13 22:53:13

There were a lot of cunts on the PTA thread Aitch.

KatieMiddleton Mon 01-Apr-13 22:53:56

Well anything that's worth doing well always is Aitch wink

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Mon 01-Apr-13 22:54:00

snazzy, another interesting point. do you think that posters on here are only contributing if they are also baring their own souls and contributing of themselves? i don't, personally, i just want to come here for a giggle, but i am often amazed (and sometimes even a little embarrassed) by the amount that people reveal about themselves and their private lives on here.
i guess i measure my favourite posters by their giggle-factor, because that's why i'm here, but i can see that others measure it by their ability to soul-bare.

KatieMiddleton Mon 01-Apr-13 22:57:18
AitchTwoOhOneTwo Mon 01-Apr-13 22:58:08

cheers, Katie. I'm off to watch Game Of Thrones now! plenty of cunts there.

RaddyAtor Mon 01-Apr-13 22:58:11

And mainly her snark is directed at a group of people (such as Croc wearers or Breton top wearers) not at individuals

MmeLindor - what? Just what? I can't believe you said that.

So it's ok to be scathing and nasty to a whole bunch of people just because they may be heavier than average?

Because they aren't a "group" of people?

HotheadPaisan Mon 01-Apr-13 22:59:43

Depends, it's partly relationship-building and trust for me, but everyone gives/ gets something different out of it and it changes over time. Some of the disagreements come from how important it is to people I think. The culture matters.

Not keen on the argument that it's only the internet, I've needed to talk about SN issues on here and it really, really matters to me to be able to do that.

RaddyAtor Mon 01-Apr-13 23:01:58

hothead, she was just saying how the contestants on CDWM were over-represented on the fat arms front. no biggie. nothing personal to anyone, just havign a josh about a show where people are joshed throughout.

Oh, yes Aitch. The commentary is FULL of:

"And now fat Alison produces her flat souffle - hey watch out there! Dave the Scouse builder, he might nab your silver cutlery while your back is turned!"


HotheadPaisan Mon 01-Apr-13 23:02:20

I was in tears of laughter at the cake punching, giggling and chuckling to myself, just struck me as completely absurd and utterly hilarious.

KatieMiddleton Mon 01-Apr-13 23:04:15

Eh? So we should be protecting Croc wearers? Maybe there's a Society for the Protection of the Breton Top some of you could join?

Choices are fair game. Innate characteristics are not.

Honestly if you need protection against someone criticising your footwear you really need to get some perspective.

MmeLindor Mon 01-Apr-13 23:04:44

No, Raddyator, that is not what I meant. I mean that her comments are not often directed at one person, but just in general.

Croc wearers are thick

Breton tops are horrible and make the wearers look like zombies

Aren't there a lot of fat armed folk on CDWM

or whatever it was (I am paraphrasing)

It is very different to a personal attack, imo.

And I don't see a comment about fat arms as being so truly terrible - and as mentioned, I am not a slim person. There are fat people on TV. There are fat people in RL. If it were to make me feel so bad to have this pointed out to me, then I should have to avoid the internet. Or lose weight.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Mon 01-Apr-13 23:06:06

not with you, RaddyAtor. the narrator takes the piss throughout, doesn't he? i haven't watched for a while but i know that Ch4 were going to scrap the series until they got him in to do the snark.

HoneyDragon Mon 01-Apr-13 23:06:47

What's wrong with looking like a zombie? Zombies are cool

KatieMiddleton Mon 01-Apr-13 23:09:11

There was a thread the other day about CDWM and etiquette. It was quite funny and took the piss royally.

HotheadPaisan Mon 01-Apr-13 23:10:15

It's sneering Mme, I think it's disappointing and unbecoming.

RandallPinkFloyd Mon 01-Apr-13 23:12:38

(Is now a bad time to ask what a Breton OP is?)

MmeLindor Mon 01-Apr-13 23:13:52

You are right, and it is good that people point it out and tell her that. But all this angst and reporting of threads - is it not an overreaction.

In the good old days, someone would have posted 'oh, do feck off, Fishface' and we would have moved on to talking about something else, when around here this were all fields.

RaddyAtor Mon 01-Apr-13 23:13:53

So does that make it right? That her comments are made in "general"?

If I came on here and made comments about how adopters are barren and can't carry children would that be allowed?

That's a general comment.

Aitch, yes he does take the piss but it's done in a sarcastic way. He doesn't make generalizations about groups of people like she does. Channel4 wouldn't get away with it! Can you imagine him commenting on "oh and look at Sarah as she stirs that sauce - look at that flab wobble!"

EggyFucker Mon 01-Apr-13 23:14:10

this is not a Breton top, this is a Boden Breton top wink

RandallPinkFloyd Mon 01-Apr-13 23:17:43

Every day's a school day grin

HoneyDragon Mon 01-Apr-13 23:17:57
MmeLindor Mon 01-Apr-13 23:19:50

I just advanced searched the term Breton Top and can't imagine I have been on MN all these years without being aware of this. There are HUNDREDS of threads about them.

oh, don't be ridiculous. that is not a good comparison at all. there is mean spirited and there is bloody cruel.

IamtheZombie Mon 01-Apr-13 23:23:24

Honey, when did you take that picture of Zombie?

EggyFucker Mon 01-Apr-13 23:24:55

If Cod would just stick to her usual name to post her disparagement of certain practices/certain looks/certain body shapes, instead of indulging in this rather immature cat'n'mouse thing she thinks she has going on....we could all simply say "Cod, stop your boring yap" and move on

Instead, there are a whole new cohort of enraged new respondents every time. And another thread like this one. Which I expect is the intention. < sigh >

HoneyDragon Mon 01-Apr-13 23:26:20

Remember when we went to Paris to see your old pal American Werewolf?

RandallPinkFloyd Mon 01-Apr-13 23:30:31

Now there's a look I could emulate Honey grin

MmeLindor Mon 01-Apr-13 23:33:18

I think she namechanges because of a RL stalker, not to mislead or troll.

Just read the Breton Top thread, and I have to say that it is ridiculous. I bet that had I posted the same statement, there would have been no controversy at all. There are some really nasty comments on there too, and not from Der Fisch.

lougle Mon 01-Apr-13 23:36:49

This is a bit daft, isn't it? confused

Answering the question put to me - no, it's not 'nice' to make issue of the anthropometry of a contestants upper arms, particularly as it is the Mid Upper Arm Fat Area that is the focus of such a thread, rather than the Mid Upper Arm Muscle Area Enjoy reading about various measurements that can be taken

However, whether 'nice' or not, it is not comparable to discriminations of sex/race/disability/age/gender because (barring surgery for sex change) the person in those groups is unable to change it. Any such description is completely by virtue of their genetics.

A person's weight can fluctuate, can be reversed, can be accelerated. Yes, there may well be conditions that hinder the person in either maintaining or returning to a desired weight, but it is not genetically impossible.

On the subject of the poster in question...does it matter who it is? Would it matter if the 'good egg' had turned out to be Maryz, Custardo, Aitch, Soupdragon or anyone else? It sounds as if people have issue because they've realised that the poster is one who used to have an iconic nickname and now that they change their name a lot, posters get riled that they are still 'a good egg' in MNHQ's eyes despite posting annonymously.

I think that 80% of threads on here are not 'nice', tbh. It's horrible if you recognise yourself in posts. It stings. If MNHQ delete everything which stings, there will be no MN.

I think they've got the balance about right on this one, regardless of who the poster is. Illegal discrimination - delete. If not...campaign for weight discrimination to be illegal. I'll be amazed if it gets through.

HoneyDragon Mon 01-Apr-13 23:37:44

Eggys spot on.

Sometimes posts hurt people. Even if that's not the intention. I have huge respect for a poster that goes " didn't intend to upset you, that was not my intention, I am sorry I have made you feel that way". That acknowledgement shows decency.

Sure the post is within the guidelines. No the hurt party didn't have to post.

But the moment you've reached that point where someone says "hang on a minute...". you've got two choices, to either give a shit or not. And if you openly choose not to give a shit than you can't complain about the consequences.

EggyFucker Mon 01-Apr-13 23:50:52

If I had a stalker, I wouldn't keep drawing attention to myself in this completely transparent and predictable way. Slagging off groups of people who behave/dress/look a certain way isn't really like food, water or oxygen ie. an unavoidable thing is it ? It's clearly done as an enjoyable pastime.

She gets namechecked pretty much every time, too.

I'm all for freedom of speech despite any stalkers and don't think she should be silenced at all

But why the sniping, and the snidery ? It's un-necessary, and I do think it's ok to question it.

TheSecondComing Tue 02-Apr-13 00:18:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AmbrosiaCreamedMice Tue 02-Apr-13 00:24:12

It all goes back to Hully/Cod and the Moldies. It brings the whole site down imo. They should be banned.

ZacharyQuack Tue 02-Apr-13 00:24:26

In the Days of Yore, cod posted all over MN, joined in chat threads, had long running potty training support threads, and most people knew who she was. So when she posted the 'fat people dress funny and hurt my eyes' threads, people knew it was her and laughed or told her to shut her yap.

However now she namechanges frequently and only seems to post on S&B, and mostly on the mocking what other people wear type of threads. And the majority of posters don't know who she is anymore.

So most posters will see someone who namechanges to post an inflammatory thread and then apparently scuttles back to another forum (Twitter) to snigger about the result. We've had other posters like that before; usually they get deleted by MN as trolls.

LineRunner Tue 02-Apr-13 00:36:10

Ah, I see. Thanks for the explanation, Zachary.

ubik Tue 02-Apr-13 02:08:01

"Honestly if you need protection against someone criticising your footwear you really need to get some perspective."
Yy to this.

And I will stick my neck out and say there are some ladies showing waaaaay to much cleavage on CDWM also.

ExRatty Tue 02-Apr-13 02:09:02

Sometimes people moan about the smallest things

I've seen miles worse all over MN that that CDWM thing

Get lives

Pagwatch Tue 02-Apr-13 03:10:54

Hully/cod and the Moldies?

Ambrosia - I don't know that Hully was here when the Moldies happened.

Or did you just put people you don't like in a line?

Pagwatch Tue 02-Apr-13 03:14:24

If we are just allowed to list who we personally think brings the site down that could take some time.
I would like to ban everyone who posts 'oh get a fucking grip. It's not all about you. You sound vile' on a thread about something like crisps.
But that's not my call.
And anyway I wouldn't list actual posters because that would make me a cunt.

GoshAnneGorilla Tue 02-Apr-13 04:14:16

I hate all this "back in the old days stuff", some of the most annoying and tedious posters, old and new on here are the "personas", who always post the same type of self-aggrandising response, regardless of topic or tone.

Pagwatch Tue 02-Apr-13 05:45:08

Actually can I apologise for my post. I have asked mnhq to delete them both. They are uncalled for and unhelpful.

I am quite accepting that some people are upset at the tone on areas of the board and that is valid enough for discussion.

But many of those issues are being swamped by axe grinding and persuing of a few key posters. It's personal and uneccesary but any attempt to defend them just means you get called a suck up, a bully or a lackey.

It's all no win . I am going back to the bar

AmbrosiaCreamedMice Tue 02-Apr-13 06:09:52

I was only trolling, and I'm sure you don't think I'm really a cunt, Pagwatch. Life is too short for this kind of nonsense.

Peace out man.

Pagwatch Tue 02-Apr-13 07:51:16

You are right ambrosia . I really, really don't.
I was ranomly venting after a week of fight club on here.

I will indeed peace out grin

Coconutty Tue 02-Apr-13 07:57:49

Pay Have you given up sleeping?!

Coconutty Tue 02-Apr-13 07:58:15


Pagwatch Tue 02-Apr-13 08:00:43

Yes. I am staying up all hours to be a twat

or on holiday

One of those two. Or both actually grin

Returning to this thread now that dh has given me my laptop back - posting from my phone is just tedious.

I think that we massively underestimate the importance of body image. I'm overweight and I don't give two hoots about that. I am comfortable in my own skin. I just don't think the personal appearence of women is a 'funny' subject. I think that people appearing on television invite comment but I think that wanting to comment on the size of a person's arms is just desperately shallow and more importantly contributes to a society where beauty really is skin deep. It's always womens beauty isn't it? Always used as an attack point.
A mate of mine has had an internet run in with some total twats this weekend. One of the (many) insults flung at her is that she has 'scrawny tits'. Personal appearence is the go to place for insults. Too fat or too thin, there's always a peg to hang abuse on and that's what's wrong with the S&B thread.

Hullygully Tue 02-Apr-13 08:27:06

Only on page 5 but had to say..."touch of the sunset boulevards" is magnificent

Hullygully Tue 02-Apr-13 08:30:28

Am now on page 6 (so this is probs covered but still in the interests of fairness)

PORE OL MNHQ DID SAY THEY HAD PROBS BEEN WRONG ABOUT SPOONS, but let's face it, they are so deluged by po complaints, they get a bit stressed...

HoneyDragon Tue 02-Apr-13 08:40:19

Agreed NorthernLurker

What I like about Mnet is that when I posted on here that my dh had been considering sex with his work colleague Mnetters I mentioned it to went "your dh is a fucking twat".

When I mentioned it in RL people immediately went "oh, but you're so much prettier than her".

Well, I know I prefer the women who don't immediately blame the other woman, and do recognise a douchebag. It didn't matter what either of us looked like.

If Mnet is going to become a place where aesthetics is the be all and end all, and those that don't spend their life battling their bodies to fit some taut mould of banality, before they are considered worthy enough to be exempt from malice, than Mumsnet can go boil its head.

Hullygully Tue 02-Apr-13 08:44:41

May I respectfully suggest, dear MNHQ, that part of the porblem IS the proliferation of rules.

So people complain about personal attacks = rule

people say Ooo trolling = rule

people complain about "goading" = rule

These are then open to different interpretations, hair splitting, angels on pinheads etc

Whereas, if people dealt with stuff on the thread, if someone said, Oh shut up fishface you horrid old caaaaah etc, then a hoo-ha ensued, then the thread could be deleted for a bunfight without all the 95 aggro spin off threads about rules and how they is applied to different posters.

See? Bloody genius.

HoneyDragon Tue 02-Apr-13 08:46:49

So 99.9% of problems could be solved by posting


and then discussing the aforementioned with passion and forthrightness?

K8Middleton Tue 02-Apr-13 08:51:24

Then let's take it up on the thread instead of sanitising the boards of unpleasant but lawful opinions?

I really hate some of the misogynistic tripe that gets posted. You can report that - it's against a protected group. Personal attacks of any nature are banned. Posters who just come along to be snidey and unkind you can flag to hq who will have a look and have a word if necessary.

I also hate people who are just vile for sport. This is particularly pre silent in AIBU. I tend to avoid AIBU for that reason and have the topic hidden although I do find the odd thread from most active convos. But really we must call a poster on their posts, not on who you think they are from the sum of the posts you have selectively memorised. I think sometimes we need to say "oi that's not on for X, Y, Z reason" instead of running off to get the big girls.

K8Middleton Tue 02-Apr-13 08:53:50


EuniceDumbsdown Tue 02-Apr-13 11:42:02

MN have deleted t'other thread because

"We removed this thread as it was totally derailed and turned into a sustained personal attack against one poster, which really isn't on."

Oh the irony smile

Snazzynewyear Tue 02-Apr-13 11:47:34

Really? shock

Got to protect those good eggs. I get it. Not very impressed MNHQ.

ArteggsMonkey Tue 02-Apr-13 11:48:59

"I would like to ban everyone who posts 'oh get a fucking grip. It's not all about you. You sound vile' on a thread about something like crisps."

Arfity arf, that would be awesome.

ZacharyQuack Tue 02-Apr-13 12:00:15

How can a thread that starts "Fat arms on CDWM" even get derailed? What rails was it on in the first place?

EuniceDumbsdown Tue 02-Apr-13 12:03:50

Snazzy - spot on.

Zachary - indeed.

HotheadPaisan Tue 02-Apr-13 12:15:17

All this PO and po stuff, perhaps people just don't want a community forum with sneering and mocking and general unpleasantness? You can still be funny without taking the piss.

MandragoraWurzelstock Tue 02-Apr-13 12:18:01

I didn't see the other thread but I do really hate Come dine with me. It's an awful, awful programme. <missing the point>

TheRealFellatio Tue 02-Apr-13 12:26:20

Hello. I am on holiday. I see you have all getting along really nicely without me the last few days. I would love to agree with everyone about the wit, brilliance and total genius of the Sunset Boulevard reference, but unfortunately I don't understand it at all.

AnyFucker Tue 02-Apr-13 12:31:17

The story, set in '50s Hollywood, focuses on Norma Desmond, a silent-screen goddess whose pathetic belief in her own indestructibility has turned her into a demented recluse.

A synopsis of "Sunset Boulevard" starring William Holden and Gloria Swanson

BOEUF Tue 02-Apr-13 12:34:16

"I am big; it's the pictures that got small!"

Stepissue Tue 02-Apr-13 12:39:23

AF - Thank you, that is perfect smile

AnyFucker Tue 02-Apr-13 12:40:25

Copyright thanks to IDMB grin

Pan Tue 02-Apr-13 12:40:42

"How can a thread that starts "Fat arms on CDWM" even get derailed? What rails was it on in the first place? "
Zach, so true.

ExRatty Tue 02-Apr-13 12:43:31

That thread was a sustained and personal attack.
MNHQ made the right decision.

I fail to see the irony

TheRealFellatio Tue 02-Apr-13 12:44:20

Ah, thank you AF. I understand perfectly now. grin

BOEUF Tue 02-Apr-13 12:44:26

The lady in question would love this if she was reading- they don't make em like that any more!

AnyFucker Tue 02-Apr-13 12:44:33

It was on a track to self combustion grin

Pagwatch Tue 02-Apr-13 12:45:03

Hey Fell <<waves>>

How can you not have seen sunset boulevard?

I am ready for my close up Mr De Mille....

I am going to be a holed up alcohol one day. If my luck holds.

Pagwatch Tue 02-Apr-13 12:45:31

Alcoholic . I missed the ic

AnyFucker Tue 02-Apr-13 12:45:43

Brilliant clip !

TheLightPassenger Tue 02-Apr-13 12:55:17

Yep by and large i agree with you hothead that a little kindness goes a long way but thats never been a popular opinion on here. Its not all about the lolz and sparkle for those who need to discuss serious stuff like sn stuff, not to deliberately soul bare but get sensible unbiased advice

ZacharyQuack Tue 02-Apr-13 12:57:09

The OP of the deleted thread has started many many threads just like it over the years.

She knew exactly what reaction she was going to get, because it's the same resction her other threads got. And she's probably loving all this attention.

I don't particularly care, but all these cries of "poor cod" are a bit ludicrous.

I don't get the calling her "the fishy one" and all that. Why? (Genuine question)

BOEUF Tue 02-Apr-13 13:02:34

Now you are doing the same thing that got the other thread deleted, and we will lose the Norma Desmond stuff sad

AnyFucker Tue 02-Apr-13 13:03:59

I think I shall always remember "a whiff of the Sunset Boulevard's about this" grin

LadyBeagleEyes Tue 02-Apr-13 14:33:48

What on earth was wrong with saying nameless contestants on CDWM had fat arms? confused.
Cod was way before my time, though she's always mentioned, and I wouldn't recognise her on here if she namechanges, but if that was the extent of her vitriol I really don't get the fuss.

hedgefund Tue 02-Apr-13 14:35:21

god knows, calling someone demented ain't nice either

still it's soooooo funny hmm

TheRealFellatio Tue 02-Apr-13 14:37:13

Hello Pag. I am going to go on your non-fighty holiday drinking thread now I am back from my dinner. Mine's a gin martini with an olive. Ta.

(classy, me)

Jaysus. I have been too busy (!) to MN for the last while and I come back and it's still the same.

<happy sigh>

I do agree with you OP though, twas ever this way.

<writes down the Sunset Boulevard put down for future witty use>

Pagwatch Tue 02-Apr-13 14:54:25

Ooh good Fell

I am just back from a sunset cruise so will be back in the bar after dinner.
<happy sigh>

Are you somewhere nice grin

HoneyDragon Tue 02-Apr-13 15:01:29

envy <<pokes Pag with Swordfish>>

Pagwatch Tue 02-Apr-13 15:04:24

Don't start on me Honey

I inadvertently posted on aibu and I am being !!!!!!!'d to death.

It's death by a thousand shouty hysterics on there

Pagwatch Tue 02-Apr-13 15:04:59

<<squares up with some limp calamari>>

TheRealFellatio Tue 02-Apr-13 15:05:03

I am in Thailand. Do you want to play a game? It's like Guess The Weight Of the Cake, but it's called Guess How Many Lovely Designer Fake Handbags I can Fit in My Suitcase.

Pagwatch Tue 02-Apr-13 15:10:06

Oooh good game...

IamtheZombie Tue 02-Apr-13 15:44:50

Pag, Zombie doesn't quite know how to tell you this. That !!!!!!!!! thread wasn't in AIBU. It's in Chat...

MmeLindor Tue 02-Apr-13 16:10:07

I am blaming you for the hours of my life lost, and the hairs of my head that I am tearing out.

DomesticCEO Tue 02-Apr-13 17:45:59

Minty, nope, not struggling to grasp what's going on at all - understand it completely, and I don't appear to be alone either.

But that's life isn't it and it won't change smile.

Pagwatch Tue 02-Apr-13 17:58:27

Noo Zombie! Chat, really?

Dare I go back...

Sorry Mme.Lindor. Truly.

Pagwatch Tue 02-Apr-13 18:23:59


Well that's all a bit shit.

MmeLindor Tue 02-Apr-13 18:27:16

Yes, it all went a bit odd there, Pag.

Am not feeling the lurve of MN at the moment, tbh. I hadn't been posting much recently and only came back these past few days to have a proper look around. Don't know why I bothered.

Pagwatch Tue 02-Apr-13 18:39:49

Oh mme, I think of you as being right at the heart of mn
If you are thinking it is a bit shit maybe it is. i keep thinking it's just me.

Maryz Tue 02-Apr-13 18:41:41

I thought everyone was rather nice on that thread. But apparently you were all a bjunch of bjullying bjitches [baffled]

If it's you, Pag, it's me too.

RabidCarrot Tue 02-Apr-13 18:44:02

I bet chapstick are doing a roaring trade at the moment grin

MmeLindor Tue 02-Apr-13 18:49:15

I don't know any more Pag. I love MN but recently it seems like anyone can be accused of being a bully. And that's certainly not how I read your posts. Or intended mine to be taken.

I'm close to flouncing but won't cause I'd never stick to it and it would make me feel daft. And because I'd want to flounce over something more dramatic than a supermarket spat.

It just seems my MN breaks are getting longer and longer cause every time I get sucked back in, it all gets so silly and ranty.

Or I need to stick to Property threads. It seems even S&B threads can get contentious.

Hullygully Tue 02-Apr-13 19:19:07

Whereabouts are you fell? <horribly jealous of you>
They are all totes insanio MMe. Totes.

GetOeuf Tue 02-Apr-13 19:21:39

I totally agree with you mmelindt and feel the same. I have read a few threads today and just am not feeling it any more. Plus I think it is a lot nastier lately. And the feeling that someone somewhere might categorise y and think you're a bit of a cunt. I am not going to flounce but think a break is a good idea, because coming on here is just winding me up nowadays.

Hullygully Tue 02-Apr-13 19:25:10

yes, but if we all have a break...

RandallPinkFloyd Tue 02-Apr-13 19:26:39

I'm the same lindt, I'm very tempted to just switch if at the moment.

The sad arse fact though is that half the time it's the only adult conversation I have in a day. MN is my replacement for having someone to talk to whilst I watch TV in the evening.

I'm genuinely sad about how things have gone on here lately but I feel like flouncing would be cutting my nose off to spite my face iyswim?

It's a quandary and no mistake [loserface]

MmeLindor Tue 02-Apr-13 19:27:46

Maybe I just have to stick to quiche threads, but I don't post enough at the moment to keep up.

I don't like the idea of going, cause it makes it feel like 'they' have won. And I can't even define who 'they' are.

Am quite embarrassed that Larry has found me out. I am an emotional abuser. I admit it. My poor gaslighted DH. blush

Pagwatch Tue 02-Apr-13 19:37:35

I am not sure what has bothered me the most tbh, the 'oh what spite from a regular I used to respect' shite or that the mere mention of being knackered and getting respite is a terribly rude, insulting and shameful thing 'on world autism awareness day'

<bangs head really quite a lot>

IamtheZombie Tue 02-Apr-13 19:42:27

Zombie is also getting heartily fed up. But, right now, she needs the support on here. She just wishes she could still escape into full Zombie mode and have a good lark around to distract herself but that's just not possible at the moment.

RandallPinkFloyd Tue 02-Apr-13 19:43:44

Blimey pag glad I've managed to avoid that one.

Twatter's benefits myth busting thread has been completely derailed by a bus load of complete tossers too.

What happened to just shooting the breeze? I've never been part of any quiches at all, I just used to happily bumble around Active Convos posting here and there as the mood took me. I really think about where and what I'm posting now and try to stick to posters I know just in case. That's not how it should be.

MmeLindor Tue 02-Apr-13 19:47:51

Yes, that was quite depressing Pag. I don't see what is so bad in suggesting that a poster may need a bit of a hand.

I was amused at first tbh, by suggestion that I was interrogating and gaslighting, but am actually quite upset about it now. And the thought that I would be seen to be a bully.

We need a MNlite.

FloatyBeatie Tue 02-Apr-13 19:48:05

I'm quite relieved that MN is now winding down to a level of crapness that will -- finally -- make it possible to abandon the place altogether. For years now it's only been memories and incurable work-procrastination that has kept me coming back, and I'll be quite pleased to be driven away. The nicely MN-habit-breaking thing about this thread is that both sides of the fence have been so silly. The choice seems to be between defending to the death the right to post unfunny threads about fat arms and thinking that unfunny threads about fat arms are a crime against humanity.

Seeing people care about either side so passionately makes it seem embarrassing (even more than usually so) to have anything to do with the site.

Pagwatch Tue 02-Apr-13 19:52:00

I might have to take a break tbh. I want to be able to laugh at it but I am quite upset too really.

<hugs zombie>

RandallPinkFloyd Tue 02-Apr-13 19:56:19

Oh don't let it upset you Pag especially not when you're on your bloody marvellous holiday.

<<another hug for Zombie, pointless I know but have it anyway>>

redlac Tue 02-Apr-13 19:56:30

Nooooo you can't all take MN breaks - the place will implode into a heap of shite You're not all planning a mouldie like breakaway are you?? hmm