what's this PO stuff all about? I have just read some really vile stuff on here....

(1000 Posts)
Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 19:56:15

Women presumably who don't have a certain sense of humour, or don't agree with certain (long standing) posters being described as beige admin workers who nag their ugly husbands, who were friendless at school, wear cheap clothes, have no fun in their sad little joyless lives etc etc Literally paragraphs and paragraphs of nastiness.

This is some of the most vile and misogynistic stuff I have ever read on MN from other women. These kind of comments normally come from trolls and MRA invasions. Is this really what MN has become? Does everyone think that this sort of shit should stand? What happened to the fucking sisterhood?

I am astounded to be quite honest.

PO??

MyOtherNameIsFunnier Fri 29-Mar-13 19:57:58

I saw that. I couldn't quite believe what I was reading tbh.

It was jaw droppingly offensive.

JakeBullet Fri 29-Mar-13 19:58:40

Not sure what PO means...please explain.

MrsWolowitz Fri 29-Mar-13 19:59:32

What have I missed?

TrampyPanterNoster Fri 29-Mar-13 20:00:01

yep, saw that too. fucking disgraceful.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 20:00:11

Professionally Offended I believe

cestlesautres Fri 29-Mar-13 20:00:24

Couldn't agree more. But I don't fancy being hunted down.

JakeBullet Fri 29-Mar-13 20:00:59

Linky?

I thought PO was professionally offended? Don't understand this thread?

ZZZenEggain Fri 29-Mar-13 20:01:04

no idea what you're referring to Porto, please elaborate

MyOtherNameIsFunnier Fri 29-Mar-13 20:01:44

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EggsPressYourself Fri 29-Mar-13 20:02:04

Another PO ignoramus here. And link to the thread?

Sadly there are a lot of misogynistic women out there who are either to stupid to realise what they are saying, have been completely brainwashed into believing the misogynistic shite they spout, or think it gives them some sort of status to have a misogynistic PoV.

ZZZenEggain Fri 29-Mar-13 20:02:17

who has been called a beige admin worker who nags her dh and all the rest of it?

cestlesautres Fri 29-Mar-13 20:02:18

I don't think the thread should be deleted, though, because it's an object lesson.

ZZZenEggain Fri 29-Mar-13 20:03:09

oh ok , what was the topic of the funny thread?

cestlesautres Fri 29-Mar-13 20:03:41

Oh, I see you agree with me, Funnier. smile This kind of thing has been going on for ages, but less overtly.

EchoBitch Fri 29-Mar-13 20:03:48

po: from the French pot de chambre (chamber-pot), kept under the bed for night-soil.

wink

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 20:03:50

It was a generalisation ZZZ. A really nasty one - that certain types of MNetters presumably conform to.

nenevomito Fri 29-Mar-13 20:03:54

When I first came to MN, I was accused of being professionally offended when I stood up for children with SN. I was proud of it!

Now it seems to have become a term to bash new people, which is a shame as there's some brilliant new posters out there. Its not very friendly or welcoming.

confused

ArteggsMonkey Fri 29-Mar-13 20:05:16

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cestlesautres Fri 29-Mar-13 20:06:10

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Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 20:06:16

And to be clear - these posts were ABOUT MNetters, not the public at large, not that that makes it any better. Hardly in the fecking spirit, eh?

Tee2072 Fri 29-Mar-13 20:06:31

If you don't like it, report it. Starting another thread is certainly poor form.

Better yet, post on the thread your objections. Why go 'running to HQ' by posting in site stuff?

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 20:07:24

I mean allegedly vs presumably.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 20:08:59

The thread was full. I posted in Site Stuff because it is about the ethos of the site. I could just report, yes, but really I want to know what other people think about this.

cestlesautres Fri 29-Mar-13 20:09:16

What would you say is wrong with "running to HQ", ie the owners of the site?

ZZZenEggain Fri 29-Mar-13 20:09:17

she can start a thread if she wants, why not? But what thread are we talking about?

JakeBullet Fri 29-Mar-13 20:09:24

which thread are we talking about anyway?

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 20:09:32

Poor form? <<chokes>>

Ah. I've been described as PO in the past. I don't mind. Better than being described as a sheep who tolerates misogyny, now that would worry me.

cestlesautres Fri 29-Mar-13 20:10:33

I know, Porto. "Poor form" grin

What thread, for fucks sake?

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 20:11:12

Quite NL. I expect someone will point out that I am too in a minute.

Tee2072 Fri 29-Mar-13 20:11:46

Because it's like tattling at school. I feel the same way about reporting PAs. Deal with it on thread yourself. Be a grown up. It's part of being on a unmoderated site.

So you need back up, is that it Port? Don't have the power of your own convictions?

Honestly, this is the shit that's destroying this site. Not the PO. Not the reaction to the PO. The people who can no longer stand up for themselves on a thread.

Yes, I know you said it was closed to posting, Port. Therefore it will drop off into the ether sooner rather than later. So why bring it up at all?

JakeBullet Fri 29-Mar-13 20:11:50

WHAT THREAD???? Please please put me out of my misery.

TrampyPanterNoster Fri 29-Mar-13 20:11:55

naughty porto!

hmm

MyOtherNameIsFunnier Fri 29-Mar-13 20:12:13

Fuckit. It was this pile of shit, written as separate posts, about the MNers she thinks report people. On Hully's thread in Site Stuff about jokes and trolls. I was pretty disgusted when I read it earlier and I've just been back for a reread (and c&ped):

I think you're classic Po was perhaps quite clever at school, but they were never popular...they never had any sparkle...they never had any glitter...and, that's why they had to settle for a bland DH...and they sit on a sofa that looked fancy in the shop, but now they realise is just cheap tat...and they live in a bland house that is one bedroom smaller than they'd like...and is 2.5 miles away from the naice part of town...and their DCs are at a mediocre school, struggling to hit average targets...and their part time job is dull and admin based...and somehow, they never get invited to anything fun...in fact they rarely get any invites, at all...and this is precisely because they are no fun...and they have no glitter...and they have no sparkle...and the tragedy is they know it...and they know their lives are always going to be like this.

And. It. Makes. Them. As. Bitter. As. Hell.

The Po always do their weekly food shop on a Saturday morning, probably at Morrisons (but they do also use Aldi/Lidl nowadays because their DH will never rise any higher in his job, and his salary has stagnated at £23K a year for the last 8 years)...they park their dark green, 7 year old Citroen Picasso in the car park...and they walk round Morrisons, barely speaking, because DH doesn't want to be there, but daren't refuse The Po... The Po knows DH doesn't want to be there, but neither does she, and why should he enjoy himself... The Po chooses a pink jersey top with a few sequins on the collar...she knows it looks cheap, and it's wont be flattering, but she's heard that a work collegue is having a BBQ that afternoon, and she's hoping they might get a text inviting them over...they go home...DH slouches on the wannabe fancy sofa...the DCs fight... The Po tries on her new top, realises it looks shit...she checks her phone, no invite...checks phone later...no invite... The Po makes tea, and argues with DH for not helping...she checks phone one last time, no invite... The Po starts to grind her teeth, and logs onto MN...

Something I have noticed in my many years on MN, is that a certain type of poster gets targeted by The Po.

This poster typically has a bit of sparkle about them, they certainly don't have to be wealthy, or really clever or anything...but they always have character, there's something about them that attracts interest. They're colourful, memorable, usually amusing...whatever it is they have, other people respond to them.

And, sometimes people don't even respond positively, they might repsond by flaming, but it doesn't really matter, this just demonstrates that this poster has presence.

Off the top of my head I've seen Fell, and Hully, and Funny and GOML and ooddles of similar others targeted by The Po.

The Po hate them for having what they can never have.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 20:12:17

I will try to find a link but I think it no longer in active convos....

cestlesautres Fri 29-Mar-13 20:12:22

Very brave of you to start this, Porto.

TrampyPanterNoster Fri 29-Mar-13 20:12:44

because its fucking horrible!

cestlesautres Fri 29-Mar-13 20:13:25

Have you no fear for your life?

Tee2072 Fri 29-Mar-13 20:14:15

Brave?

Sorry, I'll go now. It's obviously the Portofino appreciation society in here.

TrampyPanterNoster Fri 29-Mar-13 20:15:39

as opposed to the appreciation society of other posters elsewhere, LOLing and telling her that she's so right!

Fucking hell. I haven't read the thread but what a nasty shitty post hmm

TheSecondComing Fri 29-Mar-13 20:15:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cestlesautres Fri 29-Mar-13 20:16:28

Well, yes, brave; loads of us are thinking it, few of us dare post about it.

MrsWolowitz Fri 29-Mar-13 20:17:22

What a vile post! shock

Horrid horrid. Ugh.

I am PB. Professionally baffled. confused

OutragedFromLeeds Fri 29-Mar-13 20:18:35

That's horrible. Who wrote it? Hully? Or someone else on her thread?

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 20:18:44

I have the courage of my convictions to say what I think. I don't need any back up or quiches or supporters thanks very much. You can agree or not agree. I personally do not think it is in the spirit Of MN to slag off people en masse in the way it was done on that thread. I would honestly like to know how other people feel about that.

What is the point if you continue being so fucking cryptic? I'm PB too.

CatelynStark Fri 29-Mar-13 20:20:00

That c&ped bit reads like something an educated member of AARSE might write.

EchoBitch Fri 29-Mar-13 20:20:07

Did you think it was ok then Tee?

Obviously no one reported it or i bet it would have been deleted.

OutragedFromLeeds Fri 29-Mar-13 20:20:37

I don't think it's cryptic is it? It's the jokes, trolls, spoof thread. Someone has already said, no?

nenevomito Fri 29-Mar-13 20:20:48

I'd not read those comments.

Wow. Just wow.

TrampyPanterNoster Fri 29-Mar-13 20:20:57

We can't post names, link etc because thats a sure-fire way to get a bollocking. the thread is in site stuff though and is the spoofs and trolls one.

<sits by Sauvignon on the baffled bench>

^ I would honestly like to know how other people feel about that^

Well give us a clue what 'that' is!

MyOtherNameIsFunnier Fri 29-Mar-13 20:21:38

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cestlesautres Fri 29-Mar-13 20:22:01

It was slagging people off en masse and very individually and identifiably as well.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 20:22:09

Tee, so are you saying that I have "rallied the troops" or some such? I was disgusted - is it that unbelievable that at least someone agrees with me? This thread could have died a death, or I could have got my arse flamed. I took that risk.

MiaCulper Fri 29-Mar-13 20:23:02

Pile of shit? I thought it was a fairly amusing caricature of a certain type of poster, although the style is a bit Creative Writing evening class.

To me, this is the poster who comes onto threads, which are meant to be light-hearted, to say, "Oh, don't you sound lovely. hmm"

We might need a bigger bench Sparkling, <<passes wine>>

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Oh cripes

I don't know what to say #first time for everything

McBalls Fri 29-Mar-13 20:25:05

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Do you know what, I'm not interested anymore.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 20:26:25

"That" being slagging off other MNetters en masse.

MrsWolowitz Fri 29-Mar-13 20:26:40

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Alibabaandthe40nappies Fri 29-Mar-13 20:27:13

That is a horrid, horrid post.

cestlesautres Fri 29-Mar-13 20:27:36

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TrampyPanterNoster Fri 29-Mar-13 20:28:30

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Me neither Sauvignon, let's get more wine.

FrankWippery Fri 29-Mar-13 20:29:34

Bloody hell Funnier those are fucking vile posts. Certainly seem to be rather nastily directed. Not pleasant.

OutragedFromLeeds Fri 29-Mar-13 20:29:42

sauvignon It's been said at least three times. It's the 'troll, spoofs, jokes' thread in site stuff.

OutragedFromLeeds Fri 29-Mar-13 20:31:06

sparkling I don't think anyone is trying to be cryptic or baffle you. It's the jokes, spoofs, trolls thread.

FrankWippery Fri 29-Mar-13 20:31:30

NorthernLurker - yep, I think you're spot on. And yes to McBalls and cestlesautres too.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 20:31:31

I don't think naming names is appropriate.

magentastardust Fri 29-Mar-13 20:31:45

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YouBrokeMySmoulder Fri 29-Mar-13 20:32:19

Jesus you can tell who the author is though without being told and they have always been consistent.

You and I may not like what they write but you cant say they hide behind naechanging or whateever. Just tell them what you feel on the thread.

I think I have got the gist of it Outraged. I am not sure what to say. sad

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cestlesautres Fri 29-Mar-13 20:33:41

You can't call it on the thread or your MN life will not be worth living.

MyOtherNameIsFunnier Fri 29-Mar-13 20:34:36

Oh, just to be clear, I haven't namechanged to post this. I've got some RL stuff going on at the moment that's meant serial namechanging. Very annoying. I'd have posted under my usual name if I could.

But your posted knowing others would name and shame.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 20:36:02

Who me?

cestlesautres Fri 29-Mar-13 20:36:10

Justine posted comments about the first thread on the second thread, so with any luck she will have time to look at what people are posting here.

magentastardust Fri 29-Mar-13 20:36:15

Sorry -remove my post -I probably shouldn't have named names-anyone who has come across the poster before will of recognised her instantly.
She probably wouldn't mind as someone above has said she doesn't try and hide her opinions or namechange.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 20:36:25

I just posted that I did not think that was appropriate.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 20:38:12

Ah, I get it. I am PO. I am beige. I have an agenda.....

FrankWippery Fri 29-Mar-13 20:38:52

I'd suggest that if someone wishes to post long and really rather vile posts, then they should expect to be called on it. Not nice, in fact extremely unpleasant. Thinly veiled attacks seen through immediately. Doesn't need a genius to work out who they are targeted at. Very sad.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 20:39:01

I can't just say what i think then?

McBalls Fri 29-Mar-13 20:39:26

Magenta - if you want your post removed then report it. The problem with that kind of post is it just provides opportunity for muddying of the waters.

You can't be shamed unless you post something shameful (and vile).

I think the point that sometimes lighthearted stuff (genuinely intended to amuse and not upset) gets taken 'seriously' and thereby hammered is a good one. But that's forums tbh. If you want to have a laugh don't pick a topic - like domestic abuse or poverty for example - that isn't actually funny because people are living it. To use that point as an excuse to be vile about a whole section of (new) posters is really crap.

TrampyPanterNoster Fri 29-Mar-13 20:41:38

What NL said.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 20:41:42

I am quite relieved to see that it is not just me that thought the comments were beyond the pale though. Maybe there is hope yet.

TheSecondComing Fri 29-Mar-13 20:41:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DizzyHoneyBee Fri 29-Mar-13 20:42:54

Not much fun, especially when you consider that people didn't choose to be friendless at school and don't choose to wear cheap clothes.
Not sure why I am bothering with MN any longer to be honest, maybe I should flounce off grin

magentastardust Fri 29-Mar-13 20:43:03

Have done.

RandallPinkFloyd Fri 29-Mar-13 20:43:52

Just for the record, PO doesn't mean Professionally Offended, that's a wanky phrase. It means Po-faced, as in a bit humourless.

As you were.

PeachActiviaMinge Fri 29-Mar-13 20:44:00

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NomNomDePlum Fri 29-Mar-13 20:44:01

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RatPants Fri 29-Mar-13 20:44:16

I don't know who any of these people are but that post was really quite nasty. Far too much thought has gone into it to make it funny iyswim, it just comes across as a bit ott and vicious.

And I'm 26 and definitely not beige yet grin.

I don't know what you mean by 'wannabees' TSC. Are you saying they wannabe an important poster?

Sorry Port. Cross post.

NomNomDePlum Fri 29-Mar-13 20:44:59

(rarely offended)

alcazar Fri 29-Mar-13 20:47:25

All the things the poster wrote about the typical "po", doest make ay sense. She has absolutely no idea that ay of that stuff is true. Its as though there are only two types of people, her and people who disagree with her who are the "po". Its bizarre to make up a person who had this sad poor little life, with her old(?!) car and aldi shopping, as if those things make you a drab sad little person.

I feel that those who protest so loudly, those who declare undying love for their dps every 5 minutes and feel the need to make others less fortunate feel so tiny and worthless have some huge issues. Confident, happy people do not belittle others. Successful people get there by building others up and not putting people down to make themselves look better.

EchoBitch Fri 29-Mar-13 20:47:32

I imagine they wannabee in with the big,popular girls.

cestlesautres Fri 29-Mar-13 20:48:26

I don't think Justine is a wannabe important poster. I think she is the co-owner and co-founder of the site.

MissAnnersley Fri 29-Mar-13 20:48:42

It is effective though isn't it, as a silencing technique?

It keeps people who disagree from posting as they don't want to be accused of being PO.

CabbageLeaves Fri 29-Mar-13 20:50:18

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MechanicalTheatre Fri 29-Mar-13 20:50:34

What alcazar said.

ArtemisKelda Fri 29-Mar-13 20:51:07

Sheesh, parts of that description are me, boring ish lifestyle, part time admin job and Xsara Picasso and yes, I've switched to shopping at lidl / Aldi. Oh yes, and clever and not very popular at school. I probably don't have glitter or sodding sparkle either. and we do need another bedroom, thanks for that too

Well, if I didn't feel shit already about having no real social life and a few close friends, I certainly feel lousy now. Fuckit, think I'll go back to MSE. I thought everyone was welcome here, especially intelligent women who enjoy a good laugh.

Funnier I'm glad you quoted that post, at least I know what certain posters think of my car, home, choice of supermarket and school experience.

MrsWolowitz Fri 29-Mar-13 20:51:28

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Just read your second post. No I have accused, inferred or stated you have any sort of agenda. Just expressed concern that your thread could result on behaviour that you yourself then pointed out you thought inappropriate.

MrsWolowitz Fri 29-Mar-13 20:53:16

*they're not their. Meh.

TheSecondComing Fri 29-Mar-13 20:53:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lizzylou Fri 29-Mar-13 20:54:37

I am sorry but it was obviously la queen from the style.
Surely it was irony though? She is hardly chairwoman of ICI herself! All about Mrlequeen innit.
I very much doubt she meant that seriously, or maybe she was pissed?
There are plenty on mn and in rl who are like this.

Very tempting TSC. Could take the summer off. grin

ginslinger Fri 29-Mar-13 20:56:22

Why don't you have this conversation on the thread in question?

mrsbungle Fri 29-Mar-13 20:56:43

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cestlesautres Fri 29-Mar-13 20:57:50

It's got 1,000 posts, Ginslinger.

It's full I think gin.

RandallPinkFloyd Fri 29-Mar-13 20:58:31

Has anyone actually read the whole thread? I only walking because if you had you'd see that the whole thread was about joking, larking about, not taking things seriously.

Plenty of people actually on that thread fit the majority of the criteria in that post. I do. It was a joke, for fun, not to be taken seriously.

You'd also see that she followed up many times saying that it wasn't about that lifestyle being shite, it was about the people who were miserable living it.

If you don't get the sense of humour, fine. We don't all share the same sense of humour and life would be pretty boring if we did. But those posts were made way before the thread got full so there was plenty of time to say something on the thread.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 20:58:38

Well exactly Dizzy. I don't like this idea that you can only post on MN if you have "glitter" or otherwise you are demeaned and made to feel that your views are unimportant. Loads of people must join each day. Others have been here years. No-one deserves to be sneered at like that. Argue on points - fine, make comments about people because of their (perceived) background etc - fucking awful.

TheSecondComing Fri 29-Mar-13 20:58:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TrampyPanterNoster Fri 29-Mar-13 20:58:54

Ginslinger, the reasons were outlined earlier in the thread. one thread (the one that these posts were on) is full and the second is chattier and the op didnt want to derail another thread.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Fri 29-Mar-13 20:59:56

That monologue was written by someone exercising what they imagine to be their "writing talent".

They thought it was witty...they think they have some talent as a writer.

It's just awful.

cestlesautres Fri 29-Mar-13 21:00:06

They should stop drinking so much then, TSC. wink

RandallPinkFloyd Fri 29-Mar-13 21:00:16

*Asking not walking obvs.

Sailormercury Fri 29-Mar-13 21:01:34

I think it's full or something. I don't know for sure tbh I miss the eventful stuff generaly.

cestlesautres Fri 29-Mar-13 21:01:46

The whole thread is certainly worth reading, that is true.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Fri 29-Mar-13 21:02:53

Where is it?

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 21:03:26

I read the thread Randall, thanks. There was no excuse for the sneering.

'It was a joke, for fun, not to be taken seriously' - no sorry, I've read chunks of the thread and I don't get that from it. There's a whole debate with HQ on it for heavens sake! Some joke thread. hmm The vibe I get is people saying that so that they can say whatever the hell they wish. Tis an oft used tactic on here and it doesn't work.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 21:06:13

I agree the original purpose of the the thread was for fun. I am not criticising that at all.

TrampyPanterNoster Fri 29-Mar-13 21:06:25

again, I agree with NorthernLurker. She can't hide behind "oooh, I was only joking, some people have no sense of humour" forever.

CabbageLeaves Fri 29-Mar-13 21:07:09

Cue flounces and lots of Don't go. MN won't be the same without you. We love you and other playground stuff now. Frankly cba with all that stuff. Am too old and po obviously

I don't drive a Picasso or have a DH who wants me to be more fun. I have a successful job and a lover who wants to move in with me and showers me with attention and gifts (this is not made up) I am a lone parent however (by choice) and empathise with the downtrodden because I was one once

ZacharyQuack Fri 29-Mar-13 21:07:11

The "glitter and sparkle" post makes the poster sound like she has Delusions of Mariah.

LadyBeaEGGleEyes Fri 29-Mar-13 21:07:17

It was one poster from a very long thread from people that are getting a bit pissed off about being deleted for having a laugh.
If you want to comment then go on the thread instead of starting another one.
The original went to 1000 posts but there is a part two now if you want to give your opinion.

MyOtherNameIsFunnier Fri 29-Mar-13 21:07:57

Yes, I'm not criticising anyone else on the thread, that's why I didnt' want to post about it on thread II, because it was purely those posts by that poster that I found so repulsive and I didn;t want to derail or get into an argument.

RatPants Fri 29-Mar-13 20:44:16
that post was really quite nasty. Far too much thought has gone into it to make it funny iyswim

This ^^

That wasn't an off the cuff remark, that was well thought out and perfectly honed.

landofsoapandglory Fri 29-Mar-13 21:09:18

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Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 21:10:31

I have not read thread 2 but have given my opinion on thread 1 - the one I read. I don't think I have to read every thread on MN to justify voicing my opinion

Chubfuddler Fri 29-Mar-13 21:11:30

There's nothing misogynist about noting that some women are utterly humourless. Their socio-economic status is irrelevant. Laqueen is a big girl and really doesn't need me to defend her, but it was simply a vignette, a case of exaggeration for comic effect. She could just as easily have depicted the po as squeezing the cantaloupe in waitrose with a wrinkled nose and playing oneupmanship about the teachers Christmas present at the prep school gates. It's a state of mind.

HotCrossPun Fri 29-Mar-13 21:13:24

Agree with ZacharyQuak, found the ''glitter and sparkle'' a bit hmm and self-indulgent.

CabbageLeaves Fri 29-Mar-13 21:14:04

Lady. I'm giving my opinion here. I suspect it's being read so thanks for the invite but I'll choose my own thread

Is this 'Get the fuck over yourself' week or what?

This is a big website with loads of posters on it. You're not going to like all of them. They are not all going to like you. You won't die from being disagreed with, or from other people telling each other jokes you don't find funny.

But all this footstamping and waa-ing because there's someone posting something that you don't like, don't understand or aren't interested in... Just switch your laptop off and go for a walk, do the washing up, or shag the postman or something.

MiaCulper Fri 29-Mar-13 21:16:08

Well said, Chubfuddler, it is indeed a state of mind.

Again with the 'it's just a joke' - No it isn't. Why isn't it? Because some women drive a picasso. Some women wait for an invite from a friend. Some women are insecure about themselves because they've never had the encouragement and support that the fortunate amongst us have had. Some women are more resiliant than others and tbh we all tread on toes sometimes and we don't mean to and you say sorry and move on. To attack people on purpose for a lack of confidence, a lack of resilance is just shitty behaviour and there;s nothing funny about it. If anything you write is being read like that - and this is then it's time to rethink and say sorry, not line up to decelare how amusing you were.

TheSecondComing Fri 29-Mar-13 21:17:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wossname Fri 29-Mar-13 21:17:34

Well she didn't sneer at the Waitrose shopper did she? She sneered at those in admin jobs and cheap clothes.

Redbindy Fri 29-Mar-13 21:18:23

OP, WTF are you on about?

notimefors Fri 29-Mar-13 21:20:40

Do you think Women With Glitter used to be Indigo Children?

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Fri 29-Mar-13 21:21:18

Women With Glitter

grin

MrsWolowitz Fri 29-Mar-13 21:21:27

Red Have you read this thread? Nobody else is having trouble understanding what the OP is discussing.

MrsWolowitz Fri 29-Mar-13 21:21:50

TSC I think you've hit the nail on the head.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Fri 29-Mar-13 21:22:30

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Women with Glitter makes me think of those darn Lush bath bombs.

FrankWippery Fri 29-Mar-13 21:24:01

If it's humour then I'm clearly missing the punch line. Where I'm from and the people I'm friends with it's simply not on to attack people who are not one's idea of perfect.

It is not funny whichever context one wishes to take it in.

CabbageLeaves Fri 29-Mar-13 21:24:33

I'm trying to avoid being dragged into a personal slanging match. I am interested in the behaviour of posters just from an observational pov of human behaviour ..not in individuals.

The poster I mentioned from another forum was a typical troll ...but not a troll because she was a regular and didn't name change. It eventually drove regulars nuts and people drifted to another forum. Then she posted thread after thread asking where everyone had gone? And suggesting it was because the forum had got boring. Big sigh from the rest of us who'd left because it was her!! Most joined one of 3 other forums but stayed friends on FB.

I think there is room for all and I can ignore. I wouldn't have posted or reported that thread personally. Dislike the nasty tone of the posts copied here

RandallPinkFloyd Fri 29-Mar-13 21:24:43

So you read the bits where people said "hey, I earn less than that/drive that car/ shop in that shop"?

I drive a shit old car, live in a tiny house, shop in Lidl and have an admin job. I still found it funny because she was making a joke. It wasn't serious.

I joked about the same people going to the seaside on a day out and taking a picnic. It doesn't mean I think everyone who takes a picnic to the seaside is a twat.

Like I said, if you don't find it funny that's life. We can't all laugh at the same things and I genuinely apologise if anyone has read the whole thing and is still upset by it, but this thread is intentionally nasty, the other one wasn't.

It was also open to anyone who fancied posting on it, as is every thread on here. Anyone could, and still can, join in at any time in whatever way they wish.

Chubfuddler Fri 29-Mar-13 21:24:43

And then went on to post that in her time she has had some crap jobs and cheap clothes herself, but managed not to be a humourless drudge about it.

If you want to have a go at someone at least read the actual words they wrote, in the context they were written, instead of selectively quoting and attacking something they didn't say or do.

FFS laqueen was in no way having a go at everyone who shops in morrisons and drives a Picasso. And if you think doing so makes you in some way deprived get a fucking grip. You need one. And are entirely proving her point.

morethanpotatoprints Fri 29-Mar-13 21:25:55

If you are offended don't read it.

OP, you seem to have taken a lot of that thread out of context. Yes those terms were used, but not as you describe.
They are having a laugh, not taking life too seriously. You should try it sometime.

LovesBeingWokenEveryNight Fri 29-Mar-13 21:26:33

I think we should start a new campaign, Let PO, be PO

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 21:26:43

Chub, but the posts weren't picking on people for being humourless per Se, they were an offensive description of what a humourless woman would look like. In detail. I Am sure there are plenty of humourless women, but the rest is just nasty. It is like a daily fail article. And women ARE allowed to be humourless without being slagged off like that.

TheSecondComing Fri 29-Mar-13 21:26:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

landofsoapandglory Fri 29-Mar-13 21:27:09

Now she's on thread 2 saying the Po are married to men that like to Tcut the car, go to the garden centre or fix the guttering rather than go on a stag week end.

Well, that's my DH, but he is 48 and all his mates are married or not planning on getting married. Not only that, how many stag weekends does one attend per year?

I don't think it is a joke TBH. It isn't funny IMO.

TheNebulousBoojum Fri 29-Mar-13 21:27:27

I was on that thread, I joined because of Hully's spoon thread (which I had also contributed to) having been reported by someone who didn't understand that the entire spoon thread was a shaggy dog story, a spoof, a waffle.
So the thread was about people restricting other's wish to mess about on a designated thread, complaining because they thought it was real. Which shows a lack of judgement and perspective in the case of the spoons thread.
I'm a teacher who often wears Per Una, a feminist and once took the nickname 'ProfessionallyOffendedGoblin' because of all the complaints I made about disablist language.
Those posts were not attacking anyone directly, they weren't in relationships of MH or a sensitive area where the vulnerable might feel attacked. They were satirical and pointed, but comedy often is.
It's not putting me off posting.

ArtemisKelda Fri 29-Mar-13 21:28:23

I can understand that it was supposed to be banter-y and initially reacted to the description of a PO out of context because so many of the comments described me.

Touched a raw nerve that I didn't know was there. Still upsetting though, I know it wasn't aimed at a particular person, just wish I didn't feel so inadequate. My problem though, no one else's.

navada Fri 29-Mar-13 21:30:11

What solidgoldbrass said.

WorraLiberty Fri 29-Mar-13 21:30:37

I like loads of posters on that thread and nothing I've read on it offended me, including Laq's post.

But what I really don't get is all the fuss over a few posters receiving an email from HQ asking them to calm it down.

So what? No-one lost a nipple and no puppies or kittens were harmed in the process. There were no deletions, no-one was suspended and no-one was banned...just simply asked to 'calm it down' in a private email when 3 spoof threads sprang up, unless I've totally missed something?

It wasn't worthy of one thread imo, let alone 2 and now this spin-off.

'They are having a laugh, not taking life too seriously' - but not talking about their own lives are they? The subject of the joke is other women's lives, held in contempt because of a perceived lack of humour. If having a laugh about their own lives nobody would turn a hair.

Redbindy Fri 29-Mar-13 21:32:49

Chubfuddler, why are having a pop at people who shop in Morrison's? It serves the purpose of keeping the riff raff out of M&S. No one who could afford a real car would drive a Picasso, that's no reason to poke fun at them.

alcazar Fri 29-Mar-13 21:32:58

As Porto summarised at the beginning
Women presumably who don't have a certain sense of humour, or don't agree with certain (long standing) posters being described as beige admin workers who nag their ugly husbands, who were friendless at school, wear cheap clothes, have no fun in their sad little joyless lives etc etc Literally paragraphs and paragraphs of nastiness.

The poster is attacking poor women, those in unhappy marriages, those who are perhaps a bit shy and struggled to make friends at school. The women who worry about their children struggling at the school. Those who have to work in a job they hate, having no money to buy nice clothes and feel a bit shabby. The women who struggle socially or stress about not being invited out. Those common insecurities have been picked up on and used as some vicious blame game to sneer and belittle them if they dare to disagree. The women who "sparkle and glitter" clearly chose their own delightfully happy destiny and deserve every bit of it. hmm

Chubfuddler Fri 29-Mar-13 21:33:15

It's fine to be humourless. It's just that an Internet forum isn't a great place to do it. People who are trying to enjoy themselves feel put upon and may retaliate. Not edifying but there we go.

I have no idea why anyone is getting so hung up on the polyester/morrisons/Picasso nonsense. A year ago I lived in a five bedroom house in the country with a six figure household income. I'm now a single parent in a rented mid terrace. Did I think laqueen was in any way sneering at me? Nope. Because (and I fear I am repeating myself) she was sneering at small minds, not small incomes. If you're not a small minded tede you have no reason to be upset. She want talking about you.

ArteggsMonkey Fri 29-Mar-13 21:33:19

TSC grin

cornykatona Fri 29-Mar-13 21:33:21

I read the thread yesterday and thought more or less the same as Pinot.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 21:33:28

More than. I read the thread, remember. I read the thread before someone took the trouble to remind me not to be offended. I Am offended because there was a lot of misogynistic nastiness, that was NOT joking, sorry, and I want to understand if that is was what MN is like now.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Fri 29-Mar-13 21:34:49

Alcazar that's it.

FanjoForTheMammaries Fri 29-Mar-13 21:35:12

What's wrong with being a part time dental receptionist?<takes the huff>

Chubfuddler Fri 29-Mar-13 21:36:38

The point is somewhere back there, redbindy. I think you've missed it.

landofsoapandglory Fri 29-Mar-13 21:36:43

Chub Just because people don't find the spoof threads funny, or don't have the same sense of humour as you, or other posters it doesn't make them "humourless"![bhmm]

ArteggsMonkey Fri 29-Mar-13 21:36:49

Btw, if anyone feels they are lacking glitter in their lives, I can highly recommend barry m dazzle dust, the original and still the best.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 21:36:54

Alcazar,you described my thoughts fantastically there.thank you.

morethanpotatoprints Fri 29-Mar-13 21:36:59

Northern

Have you read the thread, because I saw several posts where people had an affinity with the character they were talking about because it was them or where they had been at some time in their life.

CabbageLeaves Fri 29-Mar-13 21:39:10

You're a bully making me use dental floss Fanjo? Who the hell has time for floss! I use plackets.

Holy molie. A very boring post there. Damn my small mind.

Chubfuddler Fri 29-Mar-13 21:40:54

Perhaps not. But not sharing yours or the ops doesn't make someone a misogynist.

morethanpotatoprints Fri 29-Mar-13 21:41:22

Portofino

Yes it is what Mnet is like to the posters who would like to post on that thread, the same as it has purposes for other posters to post on threads they want to. It is one thread among many. I can't see why anyone would be offended by something meant to be funny.
FFs it is nothing compared to the horrible and nasty comments slung to one another on a sahm/wohm thread. Now they're horrible.

FanjoForTheMammaries Fri 29-Mar-13 21:41:27

Sorry..it gives me a power trip blush

LadyBeaEGGleEyes Fri 29-Mar-13 21:42:09

Oh FFS, it was a fun thread, if you didn't like LaQueens posts take it up with her.
She made a very generalised post about miserable people.
And no, I didn't agree with it all, but I've never seen her come on benefits threads, or call people scroungers, or knock anybody that is struggling.
Save your ire for them.

RandallPinkFloyd Fri 29-Mar-13 21:42:21

How do you know it's not their lives? Of course it bloody is, just because LaQ is loaded doesn't mean we all are hmm

I've just bloody posted to say it is my life.

If you'd read the thread or knew anything about her history you'd also know that she hasn't always been well off either and has actually been through some pretty crappy times herself.

It's just someone else's sense of humour, nothing more nothing less.

CabbageLeaves Fri 29-Mar-13 21:43:04

Do you wave a mirror over the open gob to shame your patients ? Eh? Come on...fess up.

TheSecondComing Fri 29-Mar-13 21:43:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KansasCityOctopus Fri 29-Mar-13 21:43:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

alcazar Fri 29-Mar-13 21:43:48

I am Mrs Po. BUT despite all this shit I am actually quite happy, does this make my opinions of the po variety or are they as valid as those of leQ?

almostanotherday Fri 29-Mar-13 21:44:49

If you did not like it, why on earth did you read it, then start a thread about a thread?

FanjoForTheMammaries Fri 29-Mar-13 21:45:19

Cabbage -Yes, it makes me feel fulfilled grin

juneybean Fri 29-Mar-13 21:46:30

We have to have glitter on here now? I thought that was reserved for nethuns.

FunnysInLaJardin Fri 29-Mar-13 21:47:50

most of the folk on here could have joined that thread and would have been gladly welcomed.

The thing that those on that thread are pissed off about was the whole 'lets piss on someone else' for the fun of being humourless

Stop moaning and join in. Or if you are po don't and start a mean sniping thread about others trying to have a laugh. IIRC most of it was about Pags drinking Cipranhaahahaas in the Maldives. Hardly offensive

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 21:47:53

It doesn't matter whose lives it is. It was demeaning and insulting. And anyone on the thread who says " it's fine, this is MY life" cannot speak for everyone else whose life it is. Who feels bullied and insulted. Is that ok on MN now?

FunnysInLaJardin Fri 29-Mar-13 21:48:46

I have glitter smile

Chubfuddler Fri 29-Mar-13 21:49:08

I tried to put a bit more sugar on it than that Kansas but essentially "stop being a dickhead" covers it.

I have now seen and read this thread, which I'm assuming is the one you are referring to OP?
Thanks, it's fucking funny. grin

OutragedFromLeeds Fri 29-Mar-13 21:49:41

'i think if you're offended by that cp'd post it probably stuck too close to the bone.

Truth hurts, doesn't it.'

Yes and that's EXACTLY why it was horrible.

almostanotherday Fri 29-Mar-13 21:49:50

I don't have glitter but my DD do-does that count?

smile

FunnysInLaJardin Fri 29-Mar-13 21:49:51

but Porto I don't understand. You are OK and not PO, so why be so brittle about it?

TheSecondComing Fri 29-Mar-13 21:50:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 21:51:50

Do you mean I am being a dickhead by calling people on being misogynist and nasty?

FunnysInLaJardin Fri 29-Mar-13 21:52:20

Sauv it was funny and anyone could have joined. No one likes humourless fuckers which was what the thread was about.

Don't take the hump just because you didn't see it and get the chance to join the larks

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 21:52:50

Or that I am lovely really so should jut get with the programme?

Well I've read quite a few of the 1000 posts. Can't admit to reading every one because a lot of it is rather tedious but what does come to mind, putting that thread together with this one is some weird mumsnet version of stockholm sydrome. Just how far can some posters go and still get away with being 'funny'? hmm

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 21:53:51

I am PO as in pissed off that MNetters refer to other MNetters like this.

KansasCityOctopus Fri 29-Mar-13 21:54:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chubfuddler Fri 29-Mar-13 21:54:15

Can we stop with the labelling people misogynist for finding any fault with any woman ever? It screams a bit of shouting "witch!" In the Middle Ages and somewhat shuts down discussion.

Perhaps that is the idea ...

navada Fri 29-Mar-13 21:54:24

Where is the other thread? - I want to be where the fun is.

Sailormercury Fri 29-Mar-13 21:55:44

I'm a furry and a pegasister so I'm well glittery wink

Stepissue Fri 29-Mar-13 21:56:03

I thought she was a part time 'beautician' not a dental receptionist? confused

FunnysInLaJardin Fri 29-Mar-13 21:56:06

I think that feeling like you have been left out in the cold can make some act out of character. Either go with it or raise it on a thread with 1000 posts. Plenty of opportunity

KansasCityOctopus Fri 29-Mar-13 21:56:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FunnysInLaJardin Fri 29-Mar-13 21:57:29

navada look for the Spoof 2 thread and join the larks

TheSecondComing Fri 29-Mar-13 21:58:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 21:58:04

No ther was no fault finding with ONE woman. There was a generalisation about women, certain type of, that IS misogynistic. That is the point. No one was replying to a particular argument, instead there was sneering about a certain type of woman. It was NOT joking.

AmberLeaf Fri 29-Mar-13 21:58:08

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QuickLookBusy Fri 29-Mar-13 21:58:34

If Porto read the thread after it had 1000 posts, how was she supposed to have posted on it confused

alcazar Fri 29-Mar-13 21:58:53

It is personal though. would it be funny if you had said, "This po man is bitter about his miserable life. He doesnt see his adult sons or grandchildren now because of his bitter attitude to life. He shops in lidl because he didnt work hard enough so its self inflicted poverty really. When he thinks of his marriage breakdown, he wallows in the patheticness of how his life has panned out." Funny shit eh? What a hoot.

ArteggsMonkey Fri 29-Mar-13 21:58:58

Sometimes on mn words or phrases get so overused they lose their original meaning.

Like 'po'

I thought the po were those people who would go 'OMG you immacked a baby???!!11! That is DISCUSTING'

But now to some people it apparently means 'anyone I have had a run in with ever'

See also: goady fucker, disingenuous, toxic, narcissist et al

ubik Fri 29-Mar-13 21:59:49

Oh the flip side is the wealthy silly women on here who never fail to mention they live in a market town or even fashionable village and spend alot of time banging on about what shade of F&B sludge to paint the pantry, husbands job, degree in something, what they are spending hubby's money on etc

FunnysInLaJardin Fri 29-Mar-13 21:59:52

there is a part deux Quick

TheSecondComing Fri 29-Mar-13 22:00:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FanjoForTheMammaries Fri 29-Mar-13 22:00:43

Seriously though...I am slightly miffed..it is just a bit hypocritical to be outraged by laqueens post then say 'is that ironic given she's a part time dental receptionist'. Which is also putting someone down because of their job.

Yes it's not the best job ever but is not that sneer worthy.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 22:01:07

When you say "larks" you mean slagging off other people whom cannot complain because you are "only having a laugh" says my PM inbox. Nice. It is like being at school.

Chubfuddler Fri 29-Mar-13 22:01:35

Sneering at a "certain type of woman" is not misogyny. Women are not a special interest group, we do not need to be protected from ourselves. Some people (who are women) are a joyless PITA. I could sketch a similar vignette about PO men. Easy peasy.

FanjoForTheMammaries Fri 29-Mar-13 22:01:53

Otherwise I think both threads are MN being a tad intense and navelgazey.

RandallPinkFloyd Fri 29-Mar-13 22:02:16

it wasn't about actual people, it was made up. Fiction. A story.

Everyone can be offended by whatever they want to be offended by, we're all adults and this is an open forum, you cant possible like all of it. It's inevitable you will think some of it is shit.

I'm hugely offended by this thread actually.

landofsoapandglory Fri 29-Mar-13 22:02:31

Who has the right to decide who is 'PO'? And, why, because my sense of humour is sometimes different to yours, does that make me a dickhead?

CautionaryWhale Fri 29-Mar-13 22:02:50

I have tons of glitter my sodding daughter got given tubes of the stuff and it is still in the floorboards six years later

but it still reminds me of the best post I ever read - someone can remind me who it was - who used her daughter's glittery flannel pre smear test- and the gynae said 'Someone's made an effort haven't they?!' grin

I don't care if that happened or not - tis what keeps me and DH going when he calls me glitter girl for the umpteenth time because of the blasted stuff everywhere in our flat.

And did you know that tiny bits of glitter in your hair look just like tiny headlice? Aaaarrrggghhh! Curse of the black spot - noooooooo, not again.
Oh, hang on a minute, different light angle...it's just glitter.

FunnysInLaJardin Fri 29-Mar-13 22:03:22

oh Fanjo , folk hate LaQ and we all have to accept that. She is funny and witty and quite cutting and no one likes that so the riposte is to try and cut her to the quick. I am certain she doesn't truly give a shit though

ubik Fri 29-Mar-13 22:03:34

Also i don't think that post was misogynistic so much as...well...snobbery. It's all rather Hyacinth Bucket, isn't it. Bourgeois.

AmberLeaf Fri 29-Mar-13 22:03:34

Re 'PO' yes that can mean 'po-faced' but it is also used to describe the 'professionally offended' which translates on here as a person who objects to for example disablist comments.

First I heard of it, it meant professionally offended, now it seems to have been watered down to meaning only po-faced.

Chubfuddler Fri 29-Mar-13 22:04:28

Land of, I don't think anyone on that thread thought they had the right to decide anything. It was opinion, and joshing, and more than a dash of exaggeration for comic effect.

TheSecondComing Fri 29-Mar-13 22:04:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FanjoForTheMammaries Fri 29-Mar-13 22:05:29

LOL I was being O not PO

So there grin

I don't understand what you mean FunnyInLaJardin, I said I thought it was funny. confused
Even though I've got a Citroen Piccasso blush

FunnysInLaJardin Fri 29-Mar-13 22:06:13

Porto you could have joined in the fun. You are miffed because you missed it. It was a thread booing at the folk who piss in everyones fun, there are plenty of them out there. None though on this thread, note the absence of deletions!

TuftyFinch Fri 29-Mar-13 22:06:27

So you've started a thread about another thread. Quoted out of context. Accused alot of people of being misogynistic.
Frankly, I find that offensive.
Do you read every thread and then start another thread if you don't like it? Or were you just trying to whip up a storm?
Have you ever watched a drama on BBC? Do you write to them if they portray a woman in a light you don't agree with?
Not one of those comments were aimed at one person/poster.
Irony.

Chubfuddler Fri 29-Mar-13 22:06:28

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FanjoForTheMammaries Fri 29-Mar-13 22:06:36

I need some better comebacks

landofsoapandglory Fri 29-Mar-13 22:06:36

Objecting to disablist comments does not make you "professionally offended" FFS! Would you say the same about someone who objects to racism?

Arisbottle Fri 29-Mar-13 22:07:33

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FunnysInLaJardin Fri 29-Mar-13 22:07:40

sorry Sauv I did think my post might be misunderstood. The first para was to you, the second to the pissers grin

CabbageLeaves Fri 29-Mar-13 22:08:19

Amber leaf has it spot on tbh. Posts designed to provoke... Cries of 'it was a joke/harmless' (other minimising stuff)... Annoyed response, bun fight ensues... Dissent amongst posters. Their work is complete.

I detest the term 'professionally offended' on disabilist threads, but the one the OP has alluded to was using the term in a different context.

McBalls Fri 29-Mar-13 22:08:31

Porto you could have joined in the fun...

Amazing grin

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 22:09:13

It was not "joshing" it was sneering.

Now I get it, I thought maybe I'd had too much wine!

KansasCityOctopus Fri 29-Mar-13 22:09:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KansasCityOctopus Fri 29-Mar-13 22:10:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 22:11:02

Oh yes - I really missed out on slagging off other woman.

RandallPinkFloyd Fri 29-Mar-13 22:11:12

Oh my god.

it doesn't mean professionally offended, that is a wanky term. It means PO-faced, joyless.

It may be used to mean professionally offended by other people at other times in other corners of the world but not by anyone on that thread. It's a slang word, same as fanjo or naice ham.

A Joke.

It was sneering an a mon-existent person though.

FunnysInLaJardin Fri 29-Mar-13 22:11:21

OK Porto I take it you have a picasso and shop at Morrisons?

CabbageLeaves Fri 29-Mar-13 22:11:22

Think the poster suggesting getting a shag has the best idea...

lemonmuffin Fri 29-Mar-13 22:11:32

It is pretty awful.

I tried to ask last night about what was causing all the upset, but didn't get very far unfortunately.

TheSecondComing Fri 29-Mar-13 22:11:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OlyRoller Fri 29-Mar-13 22:11:41

Ha ha, Arisbottle!

nenevomito Fri 29-Mar-13 22:12:28

Who are these people though? The ones who supposedly are pissing on other's fun?

There seems to be an attitude that 'joyless' posters are somehow ruining MN, but I'm not seeing it. I'm still seeing the fun and the support and the interesting stuff, with the odd bit of close to the bone stuff in AIBU - as per usual.

Arisbottle Fri 29-Mar-13 22:12:56

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Arisbottle Fri 29-Mar-13 22:13:28

Anyway I have a cock waiting for me.

FunnysInLaJardin Fri 29-Mar-13 22:13:57

I'm afraid we have an attack of the po here. Don't you all have a migraine and need an early night?

COME ON people. See a joke as it is and understand that some folk will just be offended by stuff almost for the sake of being offended.

TuftyFinch Fri 29-Mar-13 22:14:11

So we can't sneer at non-existent people? Why? They don't exist. Bloody he'll.

navada Fri 29-Mar-13 22:14:12

Funnysinlajardin; Thank You. < grabs coat >

I've got a bloody Piccasso, the bastards but I don't shop at Morrison's

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 22:16:06

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FanjoForTheMammaries Fri 29-Mar-13 22:16:08

Don't people think its worse than a sneering attempt at humour when people post for support in AIBU and some posters flame them like absolute bastards though? That's what really upsets me on MN.

EchoBitch Fri 29-Mar-13 22:16:32

I see her more as a Lambrini girl Arisbottle.

KansasCityOctopus Fri 29-Mar-13 22:16:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RandallPinkFloyd Fri 29-Mar-13 22:17:59

But TSC everything you've said in that last post readers this whole thread pointless. It's exactly what I've been saying all along. Everyone has a different sense of humour and no one can be forced to find anyone else's funny.

Po is hardly a huge insult, it's just a crappy made-up piss take. Misoginist is insulting, it's about as insulting as it gets and completely over the top.

HaDeHaDeHa Fri 29-Mar-13 22:18:01

Sauvignon I thought you meant you had a picasso . Bloody Hell I was impressed. For 2 seconds, until I realised my idiocy . grin

FunnysInLaJardin Fri 29-Mar-13 22:18:32

no one name called you TSC. If anyone takes that thread as a personal insult then it says more about them that those on the thread. I would never have called you po and just because you don't feel part of the 'gang' doesn't make you po. It really isn't them and us, its the po and then all the rest of us.

I give you an example of po, the person who was enraged today that a wedding invite had been addressed to DH and partner (not wife) with a gift list attached. She was FURIOUS. Now that is po!

McBalls Fri 29-Mar-13 22:18:46

Funnys - why are you leaping about hectoring us to pleeeeeeease find it funny? Why is it so important to you?

LeQ said what she wanted, people are now discussing it, some found it hilaire, some found it nasty, some just thought it was an embarrassing attempt at comedy.

But it was a huge ramble ABOUT MNers...so fair game for being discussed by MNers, no?

TuftyFinch Fri 29-Mar-13 22:19:51

We were talking about joyless people who ruin the joy for other people.
like this:
Yay, we've just got a puppy, he's really cute!
PO: tut, why do you want a puppy, they spread disease and shit everywhere.

Just a Van Gogh and a Monet, sadly. grin

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 22:20:50

Tufty, no that is not what we are talking about.

paintyourbox Fri 29-Mar-13 22:21:11

I think MN is much like any other forum, you have to be selective in what you read/post on.

There are some controversial posters and some controversial topics. I learnt that right from the start. If someone posts something that offends me I either hide the thread or take a break for a few days. At the end of the day it's just a website and if we were all glittery and popular we probably wouldn't be sat on the Internet on a Friday night, we'd be out downing gin with our equally glittery friends.

If there is bullying going on (and I'm not going to judge on whether or not there is) the best way to stamp it out is not to fan the flames- be the bigger person and walk away.

OutragedFromLeeds Fri 29-Mar-13 22:21:18

I don't understand the need to defend laQueen or her posts? She evidently doesn't care, so why do you?

Go over to the hilarious spoof thread and leave the po dickheads who are ruining your mumsnet experience over here.

AmberLeaf Fri 29-Mar-13 22:22:05

landofsoapandglory

Objecting to disablist comments does not make you "professionally offended" FFS! Would you say the same about someone who objects to racism?

Stepissue Fri 29-Mar-13 22:22:20

doesn't the call of 'po' just shut all discussion down though? If you have a different viewpoint or experience then 'po' can be called and that's that. Seems a bit silly.

And calling people 'dickheads' because they don't find certain things funny isn't very pleasant either.

lemonmuffin Fri 29-Mar-13 22:22:35

So much anger though Randall. And intense dislike.

Seems odd to feel that way towards total strangers.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 22:22:53

What we are talking about:
So you fucking hate puppies.
You buy cheap clothes and think,you look great.
You don't deserve a puppy as you have a crap house, a crap husband, and a crap life......

TuftyFinch Fri 29-Mar-13 22:22:58

That's what we were talking abiut though Portofino.

AmberLeaf Fri 29-Mar-13 22:23:23

Ooops posted to soon, landofsoapandglory

Was that to me? I was giving a example of what you can get called professionally offended for on here, I have been called PO many times for objecting to disablist comments. I have a disabled child.

FunnysInLaJardin Fri 29-Mar-13 22:23:45

Porto who has pm'd you and said they were being bullied? If that is true I bet you anything that it wasn't anyone on the other thread. Besides, why would they pm you?

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 22:24:48

Why on earth would I tell you who PMed me?

HotCrossPun Fri 29-Mar-13 22:25:20

Woah. Hold on.

Morrisons? People don't like Morrisons?? Have none of you been to market street?

<Goes to eat Morrisons eclair>

TuftyFinch Fri 29-Mar-13 22:25:25

x post Portofino, i was still responding to your earlier post.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 22:25:35

They have PMed me because of this thread.

FunnysInLaJardin Fri 29-Mar-13 22:25:38

McBalls it is clear you find it difficult to find anything funny so please consider yourself excused from any of my future comments including this one smile

OutragedFromLeeds Fri 29-Mar-13 22:25:39

Must say I am loving the extreme use of the word po. I have never heard anyone use it in real life unless talking about the Teletubbies. It's a bit of an Enid Blyton word.

Hullygully Fri 29-Mar-13 22:27:33

It's just laQueen, got nothing to do with what any one else thinks, daft to turn it into a wider thing.

hth

Stepissue Fri 29-Mar-13 22:27:53

Funnys - you just did it again confused saying McBalls has no sense of humour. Why would you do that?

And why does it matter to you so much that everyone should find that thread funny? Do you get paid per laugh?

TheSecondComing Fri 29-Mar-13 22:28:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 22:29:11

I just love the idea that noone can find anything at all funny ever, because they might agree with me in principle.

FunnysInLaJardin Fri 29-Mar-13 22:29:14

seriously Porto folk have pm'd you because of this thread instead of posting themselves, now that is po

ArteggsMonkey Fri 29-Mar-13 22:29:29

No no no, Outraged, in the Enid blytons it was pi as in pious.

Tch.

Me, I find it hard to see the bullying going either way tbh. It's the Internet, no one has to be here. But, live by the sword, die by the sword, if you post looking for a reaction and then get one, don't go off waahing about stalkers, bullies or haterz.

I've nothing against Morrison's but it's on the other side of town. Sainsburys is at the end of the road.

TuftyFinch Fri 29-Mar-13 22:30:31

But Portofino you're simplyfying it to the wrong conclusion. Have you ho estly read tbe whole thread or did you get it the bit you didn't like and skim? We were talking about joyless people who seem to enjoy being joyless, we didn't create any backstory of what made them like that or ...
they were just the people that seem to enjoy sucking the fun out of stuff. It wasn't about ccheap clothes, certain jobs etc

OutragedFromLeeds Fri 29-Mar-13 22:30:42

Hully I think the number of people getting all het up defending laQ, makes it about more than just what she thinks tbh.

FunnysInLaJardin Fri 29-Mar-13 22:31:52

Is it just me or is this a bit Jezza Kyle. Fucking he said she said.

We don't have a Morrisons, just Coop and Waitrose. Take yer pick

lemonmuffin Fri 29-Mar-13 22:32:10

Why don't we all just stop with the attacks and meaness and making up names for other Mumsnetters

Let's just be lovely to each other and all will be well.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 22:33:17

I read the thread. I said that at least 3 times. I have no quibble with the thread Hully started. Just some posts on it. And please do not try to minimise them.

Hullygully Fri 29-Mar-13 22:33:21

the point is, the original thread (wot I started) was a question to Mn about whether or not joke/spoof threads are allowed any more, harmless threads about spoons etc that have been part of MN since cromagnon woman.

People that are alarmed by or don't understand spoofs and report etc are known as po as in po-faced.

On to that discussion thread come various people with various view points some of whom get well carried away as per (looking at you Queenie), because it's their MN persona, but that's got nothing to do with the sunjetc which was serious, or what other people on the same thread think.

Hullygully Fri 29-Mar-13 22:33:51

Or wot Porto said ! ^^

Hullygully Fri 29-Mar-13 22:34:32

But porto, doesn't that mean you are just well pissed off with laQueen? And if you are, why not just say so?

EchoBitch Fri 29-Mar-13 22:35:02

When i were at school we said pi,meaning someone was 'up themselves' in todays parlance.

I am old and i fucking loved Enid Blyton.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 22:35:31

I am not,mentioning names. It was more than one poster.

McBalls Fri 29-Mar-13 22:35:31

Funnys...it doesn't work on me. I'm far too fucking big-headed to feel hushed at the suggestion I must be humourless as I hold a different opinion to some random person a website.

I don't feel the need to pick apart your personality...in fact kudos for the marvellous cheerleading, you really are just full of energy <marvels>

Hullygully Fri 29-Mar-13 22:36:06

Outraged, I think the two things weren't separated out.

Me and LaQueen have had terrible fall-outs but we have reached an accommodation. She is what she is and says what she says.

If you don't like it, call her on it.

But it ain't the rest of the thread's fault, and that's what people are defending.

lemonmuffin Fri 29-Mar-13 22:36:24

Actually though, Hully, if it was just Laqueen and 'nothing to do with what anyone else thinks', why did none of you call her on it on that thread?

OutragedFromLeeds Fri 29-Mar-13 22:36:59

How is having a 'mumsnet persona' different to being a troll? Is it because you openly say it's a persona instead of pretending it's real....?

Hullygully Fri 29-Mar-13 22:37:15

If there were other peopel agreeing and being offensive, porto, youabsolutely should call them on it.

MyOtherNameIsFunnier Fri 29-Mar-13 22:37:48

I'll say it. I am well pissed off with LaQueen.

It was foul.

And I wish I'd been a big girl and pulled her up on it on the thread, but I wasn't.

I don't like the fact that the rest of the people on that thread now feel got at, I think I've been very clear, as have most of us here, that it was just her posts, not the thread, that was the problem.

Anyway. Peace and love, fucknuggets, I'm off to beddybyes.

CautionaryWhale Fri 29-Mar-13 22:37:51

not so fascinating fact. Po is the German for bum grin

EchoBitch Fri 29-Mar-13 22:38:00

Yes,po- faced,sour faced old trouts who lived next door and disapproved of me getting in very late when i was a teenager and told my Mum i had been seen fagging.

Fagging meaning smoking. grin

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 22:38:42

I am not "pissed off" with any particular poster. Free speech for all, as long as they refrain from slagging off whole groups of people.

NomNomDePlum Fri 29-Mar-13 22:39:13

see, now i'm feeling all amazed that people have the stamina to still be giving a shit about this.

TheSecondComing Fri 29-Mar-13 22:39:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hullygully Fri 29-Mar-13 22:40:01

Lemon and outraged,

here is a strange yet honest explanation (of mine not any one elses)

Since the terrible fall-outs I had with her, I have reached a kind of understanding of her and how and why she is (apoligies laqueen for third personning you)

However, actually I agree with you, you're right, that isn't good enough and I shoudl have said Oh shut up you mad old trout.

And will next time.

AmberLeaf Fri 29-Mar-13 22:40:58

Actually though, Hully, if it was just Laqueen and 'nothing to do with what anyone else thinks', why did none of you call her on it on that thread?

She still gets defended if called for something on a thread.

It's quite amazing really.

RandallPinkFloyd Fri 29-Mar-13 22:41:36

Why do we have to be on sides. Are we supposed to pick a team and stick with them to the death?

I'm not known by anyone, not part of any cliques apart for a few chubbies trying to help each other lose some weight. Just wander around Active Convos waffling when the mood takes me.

I bumbled into that thread and posted on it because I thought it was funny. No agenda, no backstory, no deeper meaning. Just a laugh, because quite frankly my life at the moment is depressing as fuck and I wanted some light relief.

Being called a misoginist is pretty fucking not on.

Hullygully Fri 29-Mar-13 22:41:39

See above amber

AmberLeaf Fri 29-Mar-13 22:43:02

Cross posted Hully, sorry your name was in the bit I quoted, but I wasn't refering to you specifically.

I have noted your point though, fair enough.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 22:44:31

Randall, no one is calling YoU misogynisyt.

cornykatona Fri 29-Mar-13 22:44:52

'Why do we have to be on sides. Are we supposed to pick a team and stick with them to the death?'

such as labelling mners who don't fit into your specific demographic as 'po' perhaps?

OutragedFromLeeds Fri 29-Mar-13 22:44:57

Fair enough Hully

lemonmuffin Fri 29-Mar-13 22:45:05

Fair enough Hully smile

TuftyFinch Fri 29-Mar-13 22:45:06

but now you're talking about someone who's not here? That's not nice either.
I'm sorry if anything I wrote on that thread upset anyone.
Goodnight.

McBalls Fri 29-Mar-13 22:45:25

But why do you feel you are being called a misogynist, Randall?

FunnysInLaJardin Fri 29-Mar-13 22:45:25

TSC that was me, and twas the po slagging me off. Noone at all on any of the other threads we are talking about

TheSecondComing Fri 29-Mar-13 22:45:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lemonmuffin Fri 29-Mar-13 22:45:51

Mega cross post there! Are you me outraged?

OutragedFromLeeds Fri 29-Mar-13 22:47:27

Randall we don't have to be on sides generally. I have only ever come across LaQ once one other thread. I don't know her or her posting style. I read these specific posts and thought they were horrible. That doesn't mean I won't agree with a point she makes on another thread. I agree with Porto on this thread. I don't know her or her posting style either. I may disagree with her in the future. It's not about sides. It's about one specific set of horrible posts.

TheSecondComing Fri 29-Mar-13 22:47:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 22:48:05

Let me be very clear hear. Hully started a thread, in jest. There were many posts, a 1000 even - well done Hully. And amongst them were some horrible, vile, misogynistic ones.

RandallPinkFloyd Fri 29-Mar-13 22:49:29

Because this whole thread is about that thread being misoginistic that's why.

Do you not find people who stare stony faced at things you're laughing at a bit miserable? That's all it is, nothing more nothing less. This thread is trying to give the impression that it was all personal and nasty. It wasn't and I'm not.

Way up thread I apologised if anyone took offence at anything as that really wasn't the intention.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 22:50:04

Here, even.

FunnysInLaJardin Fri 29-Mar-13 22:50:10

hang on, I am like Randall and wander about and sometimes join a thread that seems fun. LaQ is funny and witty and goes too far much like my good self, so lets not hang the other whole thread out to dry on her shall we. She was part of a whole and anyone who didn't like it should have said so at the time. Too late now

OutragedFromLeeds Fri 29-Mar-13 22:50:39

'Are you me outraged? '

I don't think so lemon confused, but who knows anymore grin

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 22:51:20

Because posts on that thread were nasty. Ie not funny, nasty.

McBalls Fri 29-Mar-13 22:51:28

No, Randall, it's not.
See Porto' last post for clarification.

I thought it quite clear that specifics posts were being discussed. NOT the entire thread, NOT the op

RandallPinkFloyd Fri 29-Mar-13 22:51:32

X-post porto. I don't agree with you at all but you're entitled to your opinion just as everyone else is.

I'll leave it there.

lemonmuffin Fri 29-Mar-13 22:53:05

Randall. You're trying to say that the other thread was not even slightly personal and nasty about other mumsnetters?

Really?

MyOtherNameIsFunnier Fri 29-Mar-13 22:53:53

Randal you are taking offense where there is none meant (yes I see the fucking irony, lalalala).

NO one has said the thread or the posters on it were misogynistic. Porto said that specific posts were, implying the cunty ones by McQueen.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 22:56:15

So I am funny and lovely and make a joke about say, retards or niggers? Would that be lovely cos I a, a bit "out there" and have an excellent sense of humour? Of course it isn't. But is fine to joke about poor people, or those in shit relationships and those...etcetc.

FunnysInLaJardin Fri 29-Mar-13 22:57:34

Porto get a grip. Seriously

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 23:00:04

Funny, so you think it is fine to mock the poor and uneducated too?

Who's for a game of Whinyarse Bingo?
'You caaaan't joke about spoons, I've got one stuck up my chuffchuff and it reeeeeaalllly hurts.'

'What if you made a funny about Gandhi/Mother Theresa?'

'You mean meeee, don't you, I HATE YOU, I'm going to be sick...'

Etc.

ArteggsMonkey Fri 29-Mar-13 23:04:22

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

ArteggsMonkey Fri 29-Mar-13 23:05:52

Oh god, 'Gandhi, what a bastard' was one of the funniest 'taking things the wrong way' things I've seen on here. I still wheeze thinking about it.

TuftyFinch Fri 29-Mar-13 23:05:55

This iscreading like a Jonathan Swift novel.

FrankWippery Fri 29-Mar-13 23:06:20

Gandhi was a bastard anyway. Just saying.

FrankWippery Fri 29-Mar-13 23:08:34

Hahahahahaha Arteggs grin

scottishmummy Fri 29-Mar-13 23:09:48

Oh stop dragging your cliquey detritus around mn,masquerading as what's goin on
Btw,there's no such thing as sisterhood it's a social construct to keep wimmin in wimmin place
I like people based opinion,actions,morality not gender.if you're a git I'll not like you

EchoBitch Fri 29-Mar-13 23:09:58

Just sent DH to the Spar across the road for another bottle of cheapo plonk.

And some tobacco.

He may be some time.

We still have the sparkle,if not the glitter. wink

KansasCityOctopus Fri 29-Mar-13 23:10:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

magimedi Fri 29-Mar-13 23:10:47

Cabin

Fever

are the two words that come to my mind - it's always this time of year when everyone (in the Northern hemisphere) kicks off.

But I still think the descriptions of the PO (on that other thread ) are mighty funny - and anyone who is in denial of the existence of the PO never met my mother, her friends, my neighbour..........

I have re read it & just can't see misogony (sp?) on it. Just humor.

LadyBeaEGGleEyes Fri 29-Mar-13 23:14:13

Porto, there is a part two to that thread, after the 1000 post one ran out of space (which I'm surprised you didn't notice hmm), why don't you put your comments on there?

ZZZenEggain Fri 29-Mar-13 23:16:57

she can post where she likes - on the thread, on a new thread , it is up to her

MordecaiAndRigby Fri 29-Mar-13 23:17:29

Just wanted to say Ghandi was a riiight bastard.

That is all.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 23:22:41

As I said, I am commenting on posts on one thead.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 23:25:32

Is it ok to be nasty on one thread and we all have to see the follow up,to see that "they didn't mean it really".

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 23:26:23

After 1000 posts and all, I would have thought there was time to clarify,

rhondajean Fri 29-Mar-13 23:27:29

There is a particular form of passive agressive behaviour which involves laughing at the expense of others then accusing them of being humourless when called on it...

I've just read this thead, I'm really not sure where I sit on this one, I'm going off to read the original thread. I've just been working on some assertiveness training though, and what's said on here brought the above to my mind.

(also, glitters a bit tacky, surely what we want is sparkle?)

Catmint Fri 29-Mar-13 23:29:23

I don't like it when people say that others have "decided" to be offended. You either are offended or you aren't.

To me, The term PO has a value judgement inherent, about a lack of emotional truthfulness to the offended ness, IYSWIM. So if a poster is genuinely offended, it is doubly insulting. Not only a criticism for being too easily/commonly offended, but some kind of projection or assumption as to why you are 'like that'.

I know I am over sensitive, but that is how I would take it.

V tired sorry if this doesn't make sense or relevant. Have been mulling over this thread and the 2 others.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 23:30:20

Assertive is good Rhonda jean. I wish I had not wasted half my life before I found it. grin

ZZZenEggain Fri 29-Mar-13 23:30:26

it is 40 odd pages of mostly chat

rhondajean Fri 29-Mar-13 23:36:13

Cat, some people are over sensitive, but that doesn't change the fact that they are upset does it? And I think it's fine to point out perhaps they are overreacting but a touch of compassion would do no harm, there seem to be a lot of people lacking self awareness at times.

Porto, assertive is indeed good. Im not a believer in the "sisterhood", but it would be nice to think we could support each other here.

Personal view - those that always go on about the perfection of their lives do so because they are scared to look at the cracks. But that's just how I take those type of posts.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 23:36:42

Oh yes, the glitter, (hollow laugh) some people have NO idea.

AmberLeaf Fri 29-Mar-13 23:36:53

That does make sense Catmint.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 23:40:53

I agree catmint, someone else, in their superior wisdom gets to decide whether you Should be offended or not.o

FrankWippery Fri 29-Mar-13 23:42:42

Yes Catmint that is exactly it.

TheEasterBunnyVsTheKids Fri 29-Mar-13 23:44:27

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

MissAnnersley Fri 29-Mar-13 23:46:18

I don't think that's how karma works TBH.

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 23:50:33

Catmint, you re totally entitled to your opinion. That can be as over sensitive as you like. My issue here is that a group of posters slagged off anyone who did not find their humour funny as PO. They didnt just say ho hum we can't all agree, they launched into a full on attack.

FrankWippery Fri 29-Mar-13 23:51:27

Woah. Grudge much?

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 23:53:44

I don't believe in karma Easterbunny. And what I said on lou's threads was that the followers were giving shit advice. Shoot me now.

Hullygully Fri 29-Mar-13 23:55:34

group?

I don't think so

What did Stephen Fry say about being offended?

That was very apropros

paintyourbox Fri 29-Mar-13 23:56:01

shock

Portofino Fri 29-Mar-13 23:57:55

Oh, dear Hully, you must be bemused....

EchoBitch Sat 30-Mar-13 00:00:31

I don't believe in karma either.

If there really was karma then none of the world's real baddies would be rich and powerful.

Robert Mugabe is still pottering along in his mansion quite happily i imagine.

McBalls Sat 30-Mar-13 00:00:51

TheEasterBunny - nothing to do with karma, for heavens sake!

As it happens I really didn't like porto's stance on those threads and posted to that effect at the time, but this thread is entirely separate and deserves to be taken on its own merit. Disagree with the op by all means but make it about this thread.

One of the heartening things about bumbling around on MN is the seeing the willingness of posters to disagree on one topic yet start on a fresh page next time they cross paths. Otherwise it just becomes a seething mess of old wrangles. Plenty of that too, mind... But it's rather less heartening hmm

Portofino Sat 30-Mar-13 00:05:25

Indeed mcballs. Argue with my point of view rather than slag me off me off because I don't meet some criteria or other. I will never shy from that.

Catmint Sat 30-Mar-13 00:11:47

Someone recently told me that I don't 'get' MN, because it is all about coming on and having a good argue for fun. But actually MN is a different thing for different people, and/ or serves different purposes depending what mood you are in. So, I do completely 'get' MY version of MN. But I find I have to be emotionally agile and resilient going between threads wildly different in content and tone. This is just reading them, let alone posting.

If it starts to get to me I just pretend I am the only real person and all the rest is a brilliantly detailed online soap. Not to trivialise the many real and serious issues here, just as a way of dealing with the sheer volume and diversity of stuff.

Really waffling now, must sleep!

cestlesautres Sat 30-Mar-13 00:15:41

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

HandbagCrab Sat 30-Mar-13 00:16:54

The Internet is full of people who are right about everything and is also full of people who put other people down to make themselves feel better about themselves. I get disheartened that is what people are really like once you wash away real life social niceties.

I'm not a 'name' so I know I don't glitter. But to be fair, this is an anonymous internet forum not x factor, so it probably won't harm my future prospects. At least I won't get mobbed in Morrisons smile

Twentytotwo Sat 30-Mar-13 00:18:01

Who was it that used a Lush ballistic in the bath and then went and had a smear test? They were sparkly.

KansasCityOctopus Sat 30-Mar-13 00:20:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

piprabbit Sat 30-Mar-13 00:22:58

The nearest I got was having a weekly Twinkle - but that just proves I'm a 1970s throwback.

Not a hint of glitter since.

pollypandemonium Sat 30-Mar-13 00:23:30

There are quite a few bullies on Mumsnet and I find it a terrible shame. They hide behind their wit and by knowing the rules and how far they can push them. It's no different to a school playground for some women. I think it's high time the staff waded in to remind these people that they should behave like responsible adults.

LandofTute Sat 30-Mar-13 00:23:58

I've always assumed that people who are vile and sneery on internet boards were the class bully at school, but are a bit frustrated at not having so many opportunities to bully in adult life, so they use internet boards.

McBalls Sat 30-Mar-13 00:25:21

None of that is relevant to this thread though, eh Kansas?
So that's something.

LandofTute Sat 30-Mar-13 00:26:24

People who are truly successful and happy have no need to sneer in my experience.

cestlesautres Sat 30-Mar-13 00:26:41

Justine made the point that none of us are entitled to tell another poster not to post on a thread; an OP is not entitled to tell another MNer that he is not allowed to post on her thread. On this thread Portofino is being told to do this, do that. But she;s allowed to start a thread as long as it doesn't break TGs; all this stuff about how she SHOULD be conducting her MNing is neither here nor there.

cestlesautres Sat 30-Mar-13 00:28:30

LandofTute and Pollypandemonium, I agree with your posts although I think calling it wit is going too far.

McBalls Sat 30-Mar-13 00:29:30

Quite, cest.
I think this has been a largely well received thread and obviously that doesn't suit some hence all the attempts at shushing.

pollypandemonium Sat 30-Mar-13 00:31:48

She's telling teacher and they don't like that - they want her to fight round the back of the bike sheds where they want her.

McBalls Sat 30-Mar-13 00:32:19

Just let people say what they want, where they want I reckon.
Disagree with it then feel free to say so. Feel like posting something likely to cause a reaction? Then be prepared to accept the reaction will come.

HandbagCrab Sat 30-Mar-13 00:34:59

Maybe. Lots of frustrated bullies looking for someone 'safe' to kick out at.

I like mumsnet a lot. I don't like the boring popularity contest bits but I have seen them on every forum I have paid attention to so I guess it is human nature.

FrankWippery Sat 30-Mar-13 00:37:05

Twenty for some reason I think that was Pag, but I may be way off. That was such a funny thread!

cestlesautres Sat 30-Mar-13 00:38:01

Popularity is another strange misnomer.

TuftyFinch Sat 30-Mar-13 00:38:02

The rain's stopped if you lot want to get out of the car and eat your sandwiches on the beach?

McBalls Sat 30-Mar-13 00:39:38

I am SO tired but made fatal flaw of eating massive sandwich at 11. My eyes are begging for sleep but my digestive system is cracking open the tequila.

pollypandemonium Sat 30-Mar-13 00:40:28

grin @ Tufty

cestlesautres Sat 30-Mar-13 00:40:54

Arisbottle is correct not only in her posts but in her motivation for going to bed.

LadyBeaEGGleEyes Sat 30-Mar-13 00:49:52

Basically this thread was started to attack LaQueen really.
She was one poster among many.
And it was a rather nice, friendly happy thread which everybody could have joined, it veered in many directions as all the best ones do.
I think the so called Po have just been proved to exist here on this one, sadly.
grin Tufty.
<Apologies to all that thinks Tufty's post wasn't funny>
We all have a different SOH after all.

EduCated Sat 30-Mar-13 00:55:03

Is there not something somewhat ironic in taking offence at others being offended? confused

usualsuspect Sat 30-Mar-13 00:58:30

Was it my post about rich tea biscuits?

cestlesautres Sat 30-Mar-13 01:00:40

Making everything on MN personal reduces it. The OP is making a really good point in her OP - how can anyone possibly say it's an attack on an individual poster? If nothing can be discussed on MN without reducing it to personalities, then it's all pointless.

MsWinnieBaygo Sat 30-Mar-13 01:02:34

I've read to page 4 and can't be arsed to read anymore so apologies if the thread as moved on since then but I honest cant see what is so offensive about the comments that were copied and pasted. They read tongue in cheek to me and a good analogy of a typically 'disgusted from Tunbridge Wells' ie. the PO.

What exactly is the issue? hmm

Or am I not PO enough to understand?

cestlesautres Sat 30-Mar-13 01:03:05

Also the personalisation of every issue plays into the stereotype that women lack intellectual rigour.

cestlesautres Sat 30-Mar-13 01:04:13

grin MsBaygo. I don't think that was the aim.

MsWinnieBaygo Sat 30-Mar-13 01:06:00

P.S the comments that were copied and pasted were vile? Vile? Really?!

Maybe I just have too much real life sparkle to see the vileness in them grin

notimefors Sat 30-Mar-13 01:07:09

My DH is forever saying that I am "no fun anymore". I always tell him I was never fun in the first place and he must have been confusing me with someone else. Then I laugh out loud because it's true, and he's stuck married to a miserable fecker like me. Haha. But seriously, the poor chap.

Anyway, I must be PO! Is there a quiche I can join somewhere?

LadyBeaEGGleEyes Sat 30-Mar-13 01:07:37

Er, the Op made it plain that it was personal cest as she copied and pasted the comments of one particular poster.
Didn't you see that?

cestlesautres Sat 30-Mar-13 01:08:05

It's mainly the whole of MN, notimefors

FrankWippery Sat 30-Mar-13 01:09:15

The OP didn't cut and paste. Someone else did.

cestlesautres Sat 30-Mar-13 01:09:46

Intellectual rigour.

AmberLeaf Sat 30-Mar-13 01:10:42

Was it started to 'attack' laqueen?

Or was it to say that what she wrote was cunty?

It was cunty.

She doesn't give a shit what people think, or she wouldn't post stuff like that. So I really don't get the defending her?

Very odd.

usualsuspect Sat 30-Mar-13 01:11:23

Same old fucking and old.

AmberLeaf Sat 30-Mar-13 01:11:44

Yes it wasn't the OP that cut and paste laqueens posts.

usualsuspect Sat 30-Mar-13 01:12:07

Same* fucking vodka

MsWinnieBaygo Sat 30-Mar-13 01:18:11

Tell me, tell me - how were LaQ's comments cunty? Taking it from just reading the c&p'd comments they don't seem to be aimed at any posters in general? Just a stereotypical observation of people who point out the misery in everything and love being PO? If that's the case, I'd say the comments were spot on rather than cunty.

LadyBeaEGGleEyes Sat 30-Mar-13 01:18:39

<Shrugs>
In that utterly pointless phrase, she is what she is.
My life is totally at the end of the scale to hers, being a benefit scrounger in an HA house.
But in all the vile threads about people on benefits or living on the poverty line that come up on here, I've never seen her come on and make judgement.
Anyway, bored now, you don't like her, fair enough.
It was a good thread though smile

MsWinnieBaygo Sat 30-Mar-13 01:27:41

So, in summary - I've read the first 4 pages of this thread and the last 2, and it was a thread mainly to slag off and criticise LaQueen? Niiiice hmm

AmberLeaf Sat 30-Mar-13 01:45:28

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Arisbottle Sat 30-Mar-13 01:50:40

DH is now asleep , I am wide awake!

I agree with amberleaf.

MsWinnieBaygo Sat 30-Mar-13 01:53:37

I'm not sticking up for her, fawning or
saying 'she is what she is' Amber I'm just struggling to see or understand how the comments that were c&p'd were so offensive or cunty especially as they weren't aimed at any poster in particular - just one person's tongue in cheek view of the stereotypical PO.

I guess this 18 page thread on something so minor (IMO) is an example of how some posters on MN get great twisted satisfaction from being PO

AmberLeaf Sat 30-Mar-13 02:00:25

If someone posted something like that but giving a tongue in cheek stereotypical 'view' about lesbians or black women, even though it wasn't aimed at anyone in particular, it would be called as offensive/nasty/rude etc.

Don't see how that was any different really.

MsWinnieBaygo Sat 30-Mar-13 02:12:44

Amber - taking the piss out of the type of person whose weekly highlight is their Saturday morning supermarket trip with a downtrodden husband is entirely different from being homophobic, racist or sexist. I think you being PO and blowing things out of proportion tbh

AmberLeaf Sat 30-Mar-13 02:19:16

But the point is, even if it isn't directed at A. Person. It is directed at a group of people that writer feels she is in a position to look down on or judge, there lies the similarity.

Its not taking the piss. Its being nasty.

I'm not being 'PO' whatever that actually means to you, I'm calling a spade a spade.

Tortington Sat 30-Mar-13 02:19:53

look, this must be said... It's hard for everyone to hear, but it is about time that it is out in the open.

No-one likes a Saturday supermarket shop.

There

said it.

and to even imply that anyone does is dis*c*usting

Tortington Sat 30-Mar-13 02:21:54

mumsnet without inverted/extroverted/inny/outy snobbery is like doing a 69 without tongues

AmberLeaf Sat 30-Mar-13 02:28:57

Yes Custardo, it has always been and will always be the way of MN probably.

I don't mind reading that sort of thing, as long as no one else minds me calling 'cunty' if I do.

If posting stuff like that is ok, then so is responding to it.

LoopaDaLoopa Sat 30-Mar-13 02:39:19

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Pagwatch Sat 30-Mar-13 05:30:40

Bloody Nora, I was on that thread. If I posted anything unpleasant about anyone would someone please tell me now so I can apologise.

I have often been shouted at for being professionally offended when objecting to disablist stuff. I had quite the reputation for being a humourless cow I think.

The thread Hully started was about PO faced reporting shutting down harmless joking. Everyone has different ideas of what is funny. It wasn't about that - not to me it wasn't. It was about people reporting every little thing or chosing to be outraged about every possible situation.

The other thread I posted on (in my fairly drunken state) was where a woman whose DH dropped a cat on her. Within half a dozen posts she was called vile and accused of being cruel to her children.

The 'PO' thing IMO is about that - the gleeful reporting and abusing of anyone who posts anything that can be criticised.

I suspect a chunk of people on this thread and that thread feel exactly the same about that but now we are all supposed to divide into camps and batter each other.
I am also not at all glittery. But a bit hungover.

seeker Sat 30-Mar-13 06:57:52

Professionally Offended- what Daily Mail readers call anyone who objects to racist, sexist, homophobic, disablist language. Usually in such sentences as "Some of my best friends are black- and they love it when I call them Sambo and their children play with gollywogs all the time- it's only the Professionally Offended who have a problem with that"

Po-Faced- what people call other people when they don't share a sense of humour.

Portofino Sat 30-Mar-13 07:39:27

I would like to point out that I have mentioned no names, not did I even link to a specific thread. The thread was not meant to be an attack on specific posters, more to ask if MN has become a place where cliques and bullies are indeed accepted.

Catmint Sat 30-Mar-13 07:47:13

PO/po is an unhelpful thing to call because it closes down people's ability to express their real feelings and opinions.

Reporting stuff just because you don't agree with it is silly and has the same effect.

Both are lazy ways to attempt to influence the way a discussion is going.

Pagwatch Sat 30-Mar-13 07:49:43

I hope it isn't a place here bullies are accepted. I guess cliques depends on whether you mean cliques which exclude others or cliques like the crepey clique or the nobdies which I think are completely harmless.

I have names I spot, people I like but I engage with anyone I meet on a thread as long as they seem nice enough. People I don't like I ignore.
But that is determined by how they behave - not by whether they are new or old, recognisable to me or not. Not least because people name change so often I regularly have no idea who I am talking to.

I don't think that thread was bullying or cliquey. I think it was generally a nonsense thread and your primary issue is with the comments of one poster.
Which is not a criticism of you at at all - i think you are rightly trying to emphasise that you are not trying to attack one poster.
But I think condemning everyone who posted on that thread because of stuff one poster wrote is pretty harsh.
I rarely agree with everything on every single thread. My posting on it does not mean I am in agreement with everything everyone says.
Just as I am sure that you do not whole heatedly endorse everything said on this thread.

lougle Sat 30-Mar-13 08:05:40

I agree with portofino in general, although have reported about a dozen PA against LeQueen, not because she may be offended, but because it's not on.

Pan Sat 30-Mar-13 08:09:44

yes, PO and po does get thrown at posters on here quite a lot, when the poster was doing nothing other than supporting values around being 'humane' and sensitive. So fwiw I'd agree with everything said by mcballs, cest, catmint and seeker among others.

I have nooo idea who LaQueen is, but those posts on that thread were pretty sneery and unpleasant at people/other posters who she assessed aren't as well-blessed in life as she. Which is very not in the spirit of this site and porto is on firm ground to actually point this out.imo

seeker Sat 30-Mar-13 08:11:19

Speaking as someone who's had her fair share of personal attacks, I am simultaneously grateful and irritated when people report them. Grateful for obvious reasons- but irritated because the deletions often make the thread incomprehensible. And the attacks usually say more about the attacker than the attackee. Unless the attackee has been a dick, and deserves it. In both cases, the attack should stay. IMHO.

Pagwatch Sat 30-Mar-13 08:16:34

Me too Seeker. I never report attacks against me because I think people reveal themselves for good and bad through their posts but I report attacks when others seem to be taking a bashing or seem upset.

I personally hate sweary thread. I like a decent profanity but not just relentless swearing so I tend to avoid threads that become about that. But I eouldn't report them just because I don't like them. I think it is the reporting of stuff just because it isn't your thing is the stuff that irritates tbh.

Pan Sat 30-Mar-13 08:22:14

Well not reporting has advantages but does affect the culture of the site, and others with miserable intent get the message that it's a 'free for all'.

TheNebulousBoojum Sat 30-Mar-13 08:24:23

I agree, this all kicked off because some of us were footling around on Hully's spoon thread, and for some bizzarre reason, posts on it were reported and she was asked to cool it.
Cool what? What on earth was there on the original spoon thread that could have distressed anyone enough to report it>
FWIW, as I said, way back, I could feel horribly got at as I am and have done numerous things that MN regularly take the piss out of, or attack. I also don't join in a lot of threads that don't appeal to me. But most of them should have the right to exist without people getting harumphy about sporners or Wolefs or bumsex.
What harm was there in the spoon thread?
All the rest of the nastiness seems to have grown from that humble beginning.

Pagwatch Sat 30-Mar-13 08:28:08

Only if you assume that not reporting means not reacting to it at all.

With the cat thread I mentioned further upthread , I posted along the lines that the OP did not do nothing to justify being called vile and the comments about her being cruel to her children were mawkish guff.
So no, it doesn't necessarily leave the site as a free for all.
It is possible to openly call people on their behaviour and discuss it.

Pagwatch Sat 30-Mar-13 08:29:32

Did not do nothing?

Fucking hell. Crimes against language.

MissAnnersley Sat 30-Mar-13 08:31:38

There was no harm in the spoon thread, absolutely none - but also nothing really happened did it? It wasn't deleted. An email was sent out. That's it.

The nastiness on that thread is just what it is. It wasn't 'caused' by anyone or anything.

seeker Sat 30-Mar-13 08:32:11

Absolutely, Pagwatch- I agree. Not with the language mangling, obviously! grin

Pagwatch Sat 30-Mar-13 08:33:45

blush grin

Pan Sat 30-Mar-13 08:34:57

Ideally so pag, and it would be great if all of that works in reality. But pa often invites shit-stirrers and the terminally bored to 'pile in'.
I didn't see much of the cat thread, but I did wonder why she had to post about the incident when she knew he was BU. But cruel to children? Wow. Some people must have traveled quite a long way to get there!

ubik Sat 30-Mar-13 08:43:54

I think there is a 'running to teacher' tendency on here and it irritates me as I think these issues should be taken up on the thread - not deleted as if we should be protected from what that person has said.

I also have come across the PO in a true sense - I remember a thread where a woman was relating how she had been castigated for standing up at a rock concert - the folk behind couldn't see. I remarked the complainers were unreasonable fir siting down at a gig. I then got a response along the lines of: "well what about people in wheelchairs you disablist nazi" and when I defended myself was told I was " defensive" -it's Kafka-esque on here sometimes. It's also hot nothing to do with the rights of disabled people, it's about some posters exerting power over a thread.

MandragoraWurzelstock Sat 30-Mar-13 08:47:10

I get indirectly called PO quite often. There's a difference between offended and professionally offended. A lot of people pretend they don't know the difference just as a rubbish form of defence.

seeker Sat 30-Mar-13 08:49:21

And it's the professionally Unoffended who really piss me off!

MissAnnersley Sat 30-Mar-13 08:54:00

I think terms like professionally offended or unoffended are meaningless. They are simply labels for views that you don't agree with.

QuickLookBusy Sat 30-Mar-13 08:56:21

I wonder if we could ban the word Po or have a consensus on what it actually means?

It has just got to the stage where it is being used to describe anyone who doesn't agree/share a sense of humour. Rather than, what I took it to mean, people who go about looking for posts to report, because they are trying to piss off people/goad.

AmberLeaf Sat 30-Mar-13 08:57:06

I agree with you seeker re the reporting of/deleting personal attack posts.

I have had some really nasty posts to me and they have been removed due to others reporting them, I've even emailed MNHQ to say I'd rather they stayed! But once reported as they break T&Cs they have to go.

Also I've had stuff deleted that while I accept broke T&Cs weren't that bad, but once deleted it could seem as though they were worse than they actually were.

If I post something that warrants deletion, I'd rather it stay and would be happy to either explain my self to objectors or apologise if I was out of order. But rules is rules I suppose.

TheNebulousBoojum Sat 30-Mar-13 08:57:18

MissA, that thread was a response to the initial response to the spoon thread.
It was begun by someone who felt that the site was no longer open to rambling jokes and general meandering, that others were setting norms of propriety for no good reason.
The response may have become OTT, but it's disingenuous to think that it sprang fully-formed from thin air.

CabbageLeaves Sat 30-Mar-13 09:03:11

Well I'd like to thank Porto for this thread. I think it's largely been civil and adult. I recognise its been perceived as aggressive towards one person but that has followed a cut and paste so it's only the words that the person wrote that has drawn that response.

I think Pan's remark of being humane and sensitive sums it up for me. I often post in a flippant way or more outspoken than I am face to face -think that is fairly common for a forum and tbh part of the joy of online communication. Freed from the responsibility of having to meet 'Jane' at the school gates and smile daily, you can be honest with her and say 'yes you're being silly' over whatever.

However I always always like to think that I remember there is a person behind that computer and whilst robust exchange is good you never know what is going on in their life or what has led them to this site.

MissAnnersley Sat 30-Mar-13 09:04:39

TBH I agreed with Hully on that point and still do but nobody 'made' anyone post the OTT stuff. We're all responsible for what we post on here. I don't think that's disingenuous.

AmberLeaf Sat 30-Mar-13 09:04:55

But PO has been used to describe people who point out that something is offensive, as if there is something wrong with that?

I take PO/ professionally offended to mean people who take offence/point out offensiveness over something that doesn't personally concern them.

I don't like that because I don't see standing up for something even though it doesn't affect you as being wrong.

PO is what is said to people who interrupt others having a pop at certain groups/people etc. It is said as they don't like their unreasonableness being pointed out. So you get shouted down with 'PO' and called joyless.

IME/IMO.

AmberLeaf Sat 30-Mar-13 09:08:40

...And yes, again I agree with seeker re the professionally UNoffended!

Its almost like some think its 'cool' to not give a fuck.

CabbageLeaves Sat 30-Mar-13 09:13:13

PO- nothing wrong with it if used correctly. Some people are PO! As some people are PU

It's when it's used to dismiss a viewpoint (as an unqualified statement) rather than a debate about why something is offensive

It should be POIMO or perhaps POIMPO grin

Pagwatch Sat 30-Mar-13 09:14:06

Think that ship has sailed QuickLookBusy.

I agree with your view of what PO was intended to mean (at least when i have seen it used) posters deliberately looking for reasons to report and complain out of dislike/goadiness/mean spiritedness/mischief making.
But I think a swathe of people now think it was intended to mean something else.

It is going to be endlessly linked in some people's minds with professionally offended. Which was never the intention I think.

AmberLeaf Sat 30-Mar-13 09:16:17

I posted at the start of Hullys first thread after the sppons one. I didn't see the spoons one.

From hullys OP I got the impression that the spoon one was deleted but then MNHQ came and said it wasn't and they just emailed her about it. So it wasn't even as 'being silenced' as was made out although initially I thought it seemed excessive to delete it, but in fact it wasn't.

Then I went out for the day and came back to a million posts so didn't read any more.

PO just makes me think of Victor Meldrew. Males of a certain age, that think everything is wrong.

ginslinger Sat 30-Mar-13 09:21:03

I have always understood PO to be shorthand for Po-faced, which a couple of members of my family have form for. The sort of person who when offered a choice between cream or custard will whine on and on about how both are bad for you and no one needs a pudding and then they huff on about how long we're sitting at the table whilst eating puddings that are unnecessary. I had no idea about the professionally offended notion. Although I spend huge lots of time not being on MN because of my bloody life.

Yes po-faced/cat's bum mouth gin. I know a few of those too. Whatever you do they know where you could have got it cheaper/done it better/done it differently.

Bit like Harry Enfield's 'Mr You Don't Want To Do it Like That'. hmm

NoelHeadbands Sat 30-Mar-13 09:24:41

The PO thing is ever so slightly starting to get on my wick.

The true meaning has now been lost and instead is being used as an insult by hordes of dull, imaginative hangers on who have nothing funny to offer of their own.

ginslinger Sat 30-Mar-13 09:25:08

Absolutely Sparkling, I'd forgotten about catsbumming and that's what we used to say, isn't it? Do we still say catsbum?

I prefer 'sucking lemons' gin. grin

QuickLookBusy Sat 30-Mar-13 09:26:14

Oh that's good Cabbages POIMO or POMPO!

I like that.

Or even, in response to someone calling out PO -PoInYourOpinion POYO.

QuickLookBusy Sat 30-Mar-13 09:26:54

Sorry huge X post there.

NoelHeadbands Sat 30-Mar-13 09:27:08

Sod arse and bugger, I meant unimaginative

CabbageLeaves Sat 30-Mar-13 09:28:01

Sucking a lemon. I have an admin assistant who epitomises the sucking a lemon face Not sure she realises she does it but you know exactly when she doesn't approve of you. I'm her boss. She doesn't approve of me. A lot. It always makes me smile

CabbageLeaves Sat 30-Mar-13 09:29:33

CB
SAL
POIMO
POIYO
PUIMO
PUIYO

yep MN needs to have a dictionary

rhondajean Sat 30-Mar-13 09:33:47

I haven't read a lot of what's mentioned on here, but I will say as a generalisation that I find any type of humour which is aimed at lowering other people or relies on taking the mickey out of others juvenile, unfunny and characteristic of people who are not that happy with their own existence/ relatively emotionally unevolved. That's true in real life and also on here, and it's a firm if passive agressive bullying to then turn round and accuse people who don't like it if being humourless.

It's a well recognised method if bullying/ manipulation particularly common among teenage girls.

There are also overly sensitive people but I don't see how attacking them helps, noone knows why they are sensitive re that particular thing. It would be better to point out to them gently why they may not hold the same view as most others, but hey it's easy to stick the boot in from behind a screen, especially when you think you are doing it in such a clever way and others will stand by and egg you on.

I've seen that happen in here, not on the threads mentioned or by the posters mentioned, but as a general statement.

( forgot about the bathball story!!)

Hullygully Sat 30-Mar-13 09:37:13

I believe it was me who introduced po to mn originally.

I have always and only used it in the po-faced sense, the attitude that pag describes below.

it has also come to mean prof offended, but that was not it's original use on here.

to me, its people that dont like other people having a laugh about spoons/ whatever because it doesn't float their boat, not because it's bullying or harmful or cliquey, they just dont like it.

that is the only sense in which I use it.

rhondajean Sat 30-Mar-13 09:38:50

See hilly - po is a different thing to PO. People should be allowed to have friendship groups, in jokes etc. as long as what I described above isn't happening.

Best pic I could find to sum up sucking lemons/po faced Here grin

nenevomito Sat 30-Mar-13 09:41:36

What NoelHeadbands said just there, and FWIW the prof offended meaning came before po faced - hence my confusion.

QuickLookBusy Sat 30-Mar-13 09:44:12

I agree there's nothing wrong in using Po to describe someone who is offended by a thread about Spoons.

But I think it would be good for us all to point out to posters who use the word in other, more general and probably goady ways, that it isn't on for them to do that.

Hullygully Sat 30-Mar-13 09:44:31

yes, maybe we could have po and PO

can you imagine? grin

rhondajean Sat 30-Mar-13 09:46:25

<worries she's now confused things even more>

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue Sat 30-Mar-13 09:49:58

I think Rhondajean called it right when she said There is a particular form of passive agressive behaviour which involves laughing at the expense of others then accusing them of being humourless when called on it...

I read the comments and it basically reminded me of school nastiness masking insecurity.

CabbageLeaves Sat 30-Mar-13 09:54:07

Oh Sparkling that is my admin assistant almost exactly!

Hullygully Sat 30-Mar-13 09:54:33

thats nothing to do with po tho

AmberLeaf Sat 30-Mar-13 09:55:38

Yeah PO (professionally offended) has been used on MN for yonks. Way before po-faced and PO was being thrown around as an insult for ages too.

Hullygully Sat 30-Mar-13 09:59:19

I never see PO things, I dont tend to go on those threads, they are a bit glum for me

TheNebulousBoojum Sat 30-Mar-13 09:59:58

'There is a particular form of passive agressive behaviour which involves laughing at the expense of others then accusing them of being humourless when called on it...'

You mean like fruitshoots, Gregg's sausage rolls, netmums and tickers, wearing Per Una and the wrong sort of clothes, pebbly shite?
There are many on here that regard themselves as the arbitrators of good taste and what they should be smug about. Most of the time, they get laughed at in turn.

CabbageLeaves Sat 30-Mar-13 10:00:09

Lets just bring in Passive Aggressive PA whilst we are acquiring lots of letters.

I think calling PO is a type of PA but that is IMO or even IMHO. So we need PA, PO and PU with occasional qualifiers of IMO, IYO and a distinction between po and PO (obviously all separate to OP)

simple

TheNebulousBoojum Sat 30-Mar-13 10:02:05

What slightly boggles me is that people are shitting their beds and screaming about a rant that was meant to be a joke. Whether you find it funny or not, it wasn't a call to arms or a demand to deport anyone who wears beige or shops at Asda or whateverthefuckitwas. Yet no one ever seems to want to start threads objecting to the percentage of pig-ignorant benefit-bashers overrunning the place at the moment - someone did make the good point that Laqueen might take the piss out of 'the poor' but she doesn't. actually, come on the benefits threads and start telling them they shouldn't have children they can't afford or should eat their pets or whatever.

ISTR it being said at some point that there are now over 2000 MNers. 2000. THat's got to include a bunch of thickos, a bunch of whiners, a bunch of bullies and a bunch of fantasists. But it also means there's plenty of room for everyone else.

ScoffedAnEggInSixtySeconds Sat 30-Mar-13 10:03:48

Right well for clearness of expression I have always use po as po-faced, looking for reasons to complain.

I have missed all of this being in forrin parts temporarily, but I love jokey threads (and yes, Ghandi what a bastard is a classic) and miss them.

ScoffedAnEggInSixtySeconds Sat 30-Mar-13 10:06:55

blush clearness of expression followed by typo. Shoot me now.

CabbageLeaves Sat 30-Mar-13 10:08:01

Gawd Nebulous. That pic could be me and my hair this morning. Must get in the shower....

LaQueen Sat 30-Mar-13 10:10:19

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue Sat 30-Mar-13 10:11:08

Oh FFS, no one is 'screaming'.

But if people make jokes that are not funny, because they are nasty, then they should get called on it and society moves on. Otherwise we would still have bloody Jim Davidson on telly every Saturday wouldn't we?

usualsuspect Sat 30-Mar-13 10:13:26

What SGB said.

NoelHeadbands Sat 30-Mar-13 10:14:41

That is SUCH a good point about Jim Davidson

<applauds>

seeker Sat 30-Mar-13 10:15:00

Could we call them pofaced? For the avoidance of doubt?

LaQueen Sat 30-Mar-13 10:15:30

And, my definition of Po has always meant po-faced, an expression expertly demonstrated by my relative, when anyone suggests doing something mildly exciting, or something that doesn't appear on her Approved Plan for that month.

It sort of looks like this hmm but with slightly more flared nostrils...

Hullygully Sat 30-Mar-13 10:15:32

Yes, that is fair. Even on that thread someone said to LaQ that she was talking about what people had (I paraphrase), and she said the same thing then, it was about attitude, not possessions.

Also, sometimes people get on a narrative roll, and it becomes about that for its own sake, the start point often left way behind.

Lots of people don't like LaQ (for whatever reason), and dear lord queenie you sure don't help yourself, but she isn't poor-ist.

FloatyBeatie Sat 30-Mar-13 10:19:35

PO, "goady fucker" etc etc. Everyone seems to want to make labels for people and identify groups, instead of seeing different posting characteristics as being mixed up within all of us. The alleged groups don't correspond to anything in reality. They just meet a need people have to generate an imaginary other, so they can project their own unwanted behaviours onto them and feel themselves to be part of the corresponding luffly not-other.

It's all about self-definition and social dynamics. No other real content at all.

It's also what happens when you are on MN too much. There's nothing else left to talk about so you talk about the talking.

(Or as in my case here in this post, you go one step further into aridity and talk about the talking about the talking. grin )

I think if the occasion calls for it there is nothing wrong with saying to one specific poster that they are being po-faced. So:

Poster A: AIBU to paint my face like a clown this morning to give dh a surprise at breakfast time after he said I was always clowning around with the kids and should be more mature?

Posters B-W: YANBU!

Poster X: Oh no you could frighten him in to a heart attack and then won't you feel bad and he could have a morbid fear of clowns forever and so could your dcs and I think you're a bad mother.............

Poster Y: That's a bit po-faced of you Poster X don't you think?

Porefssionally Offended oth is always a crappy term, usually used as a weapon against those who object to some sort of hate and/or discrimination filled bilge. Describing people such as Poster X above as 'one of the Po/po/PO' would be a bullying tactic imo.

cestlesautres Sat 30-Mar-13 10:20:43

SGB, the question for MNHQ is: Are we meant to tolerate the bunch of bullies which you say is inevitable on the site? Do we just watch the bullying going on and do nothing? Is that the culture of the site?

I think it's fair enough to expect us to tolerate the bunch of fantasists - but tolerating bullying? Really?

Hullygully Sat 30-Mar-13 10:21:35

You are so meta, floatie

LaQueen Sat 30-Mar-13 10:21:57

Hully yep, tis always about the attitude, rarely about the possessions...as I said at the time, I was going to come back and script Chapter 2...where it's just as easy to turn it on its head, and paraody those with the new Mercedes parked on the drive...but, DH moaned that I'd been on the PC for too long I ran out of time sad

Hullygully Sat 30-Mar-13 10:22:34

WHO ARE THE BULLIES??

I always hear a lot of talk about this mysterious group of bullies

Who the fuck are they? Where do they hide? Do they want my lunch money?

MyOtherNameIsFunnier Sat 30-Mar-13 10:23:02

But that's just nonsense LaQueen. That's not what you posted about. You barely made any comment on how you're (sic) perceived Po felt. It was all about what they had, or more accurately didn't have.

*I think you're classic Po was perhaps quite clever at school, but they were never popular...they never had any sparkle...they never had any glitter...and, that's why they had to settle for a bland DH...and they sit on a sofa that looked fancy in the shop, but now they realise is just cheap tat...and they live in a bland house that is one bedroom smaller than they'd like...and is 2.5 miles away from the naice part of town...and their DCs are at a mediocre school, struggling to hit average targets...and their part time job is dull and admin based...and somehow, they never get invited to anything fun...in fact they rarely get any invites, at all...and this is precisely because they are no fun...and they have no glitter...and they have no sparkle...and the tragedy is they know it...and they know their lives are always going to be like this.

And. It. Makes. Them. As. Bitter. As. Hell.

The Po always do their weekly food shop on a Saturday morning, probably at Morrisons (but they do also use Aldi/Lidl nowadays because their DH will never rise any higher in his job, and his salary has stagnated at £23K a year for the last 8 years)...they park their dark green, 7 year old Citroen Picasso in the car park...and they walk round Morrisons, barely speaking, because DH doesn't want to be there, but daren't refuse The Po... The Po knows DH doesn't want to be there, but neither does she, and why should he enjoy himself... The Po chooses a pink jersey top with a few sequins on the collar...she knows it looks cheap, and it's wont be flattering, but she's heard that a work collegue is having a BBQ that afternoon, and she's hoping they might get a text inviting them over...they go home...DH slouches on the wannabe fancy sofa...the DCs fight... The Po tries on her new top, realises it looks shit...she checks her phone, no invite...checks phone later...no invite... The Po makes tea, and argues with DH for not helping...she checks phone one last time, no invite... The Po starts to grind her teeth, and logs onto MN...*

All of that, ALL OF IT, is a sneer about material wealth, salary, house size, sofa type (?), clothes, area and then a swipe at bland husbands and mediocre kids.

It was cunty and you shoudl take ownership of that. Don't try and dress it up as something it's not.

cestlesautres Sat 30-Mar-13 10:24:02

It's not "Everyone" who wants to make labels for people and identify groups, FloatyBeatie. The vast majority of MNers want to take each thread on its merits and each individual poster on their merits, and each individual post on its merits. Most MNers don't have hate lists and vendettas. Who in their right mind has got time for that?

rhondajean Sat 30-Mar-13 10:24:53

Northern I take your point - if poster y expressed as you did good but we don't know why x said it ( maybe they have a fear of clowns, their father died of a clown induced heart attack) so when poster z then turns up to lead an attack on poster x which remains just within the chat rules, it's out of order. And that DOES sometimes happen.

narmada Sat 30-Mar-13 10:25:10

To me this all reads like some proto-high-school jostling for position, sorting-everyone-in-to-cliques exercise.

Someone once described me as beige and frustrated; he was charismatic, popular, and had sparkle, alright. Fortunately for my self esteem, he was also an enormously deluded tosser who could have given Walter Mitty a run for his money grin

seeker Sat 30-Mar-13 10:26:32

Do people really feel bullied? Really, properly bullied? Or do people leap in to defend people from what they perceive as bullying? And other people say they are being bullied when they are actually being disagreed with? I've been ganged up on, and it wasn't pleasant- but I could always turn the IPad off if I wanted to. I can only remember one comment which has stayed with me however much I try to forget it- does it go deep for a lot of people?

Hullygully Sat 30-Mar-13 10:26:49

I am really struggling with that Funnier

It's just a narrative about what LaQ thinks people with po attitude might be like

I can't see it as an "attack" on people on MN?

LaQueen Sat 30-Mar-13 10:28:12

MyOther - nope, it was about how resentful they felt about what they had, and how they felt they should have/deserve more.

And, I said so on that thread.

Hullygully Sat 30-Mar-13 10:28:40

I don't understand the bullying thing at all, seeker

I really want to know who the mysterious bully group are tho.

Funny how they never quite get identified.

pollypandemonium Sat 30-Mar-13 10:29:27

I'm with cestlesautres but I dont think that being sneery about lifestyle is bullying. Bullying is ganging up and picking on someone and that should be dealt with properly . However many of the wittiest/oldest/most popular posters partake in it and hq doesnt want to lose them so nothing ever changes.

cestlesautres Sat 30-Mar-13 10:30:42

I take issue with your use of "wit" there, polly.

FunnysInLaJardin Sat 30-Mar-13 10:31:09

I think Funnier has a Citroen Picasso

MissAnnersley Sat 30-Mar-13 10:32:40

I had a Citroen Picasso years ago. Thought I was the dogs bollocks too. grin

What the hell does that make me?

LaQueen Sat 30-Mar-13 10:32:44

Hully correct smile

Give me 20 minutes, and access to a keyboard and I could write an identical narrative, but instead describing the versions of The Po who have plenty of material wealth, but are still adept at sucking the joy out of life...

But, that aint gonna happen this morning, as DH is muttering about hard disk drives and something that sounds like matting or formatting [??], and he's circling this PC in a possessive manner hmm

Hullygully Sat 30-Mar-13 10:32:44

could we have examples of this polly?

It's not really on to make that assertion and not back it up, is it?

Two examples will do.

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue Sat 30-Mar-13 10:33:17

IM(Po)O there are bullying posts and bullying comments every day.

No they do not want your lunch money but there are a fair few posts made in an attempt to belittle and humiliate the poster rather than debate the arguments made by that poster.

KansasCityOctopus Sat 30-Mar-13 10:33:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissAnnersley Sat 30-Mar-13 10:34:01

God, please don't LaQ. Once was enough.

LaQueen Sat 30-Mar-13 10:34:24

I don't get the bullying thing, either.

Feck knows I will wade onto any thread, and defend someone I think is being targeted or bullied...and have done, many a time.

Please do LeQ grin

pollypandemonium Sat 30-Mar-13 10:35:47

No Hully you can't from me I won't get drawn in. You need to reflect if you don't get the bullying thing.

Hullygully Sat 30-Mar-13 10:35:56

yellow and green, do you mean like what is being done to LaQ?

If not and you mean something else, would you point me in the direction of a couple of examples so I can understand what you mean?

LaQueen Sat 30-Mar-13 10:36:14

Miss I actually rather envy you the Picasso...we went in one once, and OMG it was like The Tardis, and there were all these compartments for everything - we actually lost DD2 in there for a few moments, when DH stowed her away, a bit too securely.

Lizzylou Sat 30-Mar-13 10:36:41

Laqueen, it was spectacularly wanky post, very sneery and yes, seemingly all about wealth/class. That is how it read. That may not have been your intention.

And no, I don't shop at Morrisons, I have never driven a Citreon. Don't even consider myself PO. It didn't apply to me at all, in all honesty. I still thought it nasty.

I just think that on this occasion it was a joke that went rather too far and didn't come across as you perhaps intended.

MyOtherNameIsFunnier Sat 30-Mar-13 10:37:39

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Hullygully Sat 30-Mar-13 10:37:42

But polly, I don't understand.

You say there is bullying, but won't back it up.

How can I understand what you mean and agree/disagree if you won't explain and exemplify?

What am I to relfect upon??

That's like me saying, There are closet racists all over MN. No I won't point it out, you must reflect.

Meaningless.

LaQueen Sat 30-Mar-13 10:37:49

Oh no...I refuse to accept I'm being bullied, nope...nope I am not having that...this is Mumsnet, and I stoutly defend anyone's right to post what they want [defiant]

Hullygully Sat 30-Mar-13 10:39:51

Someone said ages ago that there is tryly nasty stuff on MN about people on benefits etc yet no one starts threads to protest about them.

Troo dat.

Why is LaQ's made-up narrative so much more offensive than the true nastiness?

It's hard to avoid thinking it personal.

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue Sat 30-Mar-13 10:41:30

I will find some examples.

MissAnnersley Sat 30-Mar-13 10:41:42

It was the compartments that swung it for me too. I bloody loved it.

MyOtherNameIsFunnier Sat 30-Mar-13 10:41:56

Of course we protest against benefit bashing/disablist/racist whatever threads.

People who post in a cunty fashion are almost always pulled up on it. It's one of the reasons I love MN.

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue Sat 30-Mar-13 10:42:16

I agree about benefits threads too hully.

Arisbottle Sat 30-Mar-13 10:42:29

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LaQueen Sat 30-Mar-13 10:42:35

It had a speshul compartment, just for my friend's handbag [gnashes teeth in envy]

Hully, I save my ire for the benefit bashers and love LeQ posts for the humour and paint tips wink

cestlesautres Sat 30-Mar-13 10:43:41

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pollypandemonium Sat 30-Mar-13 10:43:54

There you go true to form Hullygully. I'm out.

Arisbottle Sat 30-Mar-13 10:43:59

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MissAnnersley Sat 30-Mar-13 10:44:12

My ex once hid a present from the OW in one of the compartments in our Picasso. That was a speshul moment all on its own. grin

LaQueen Sat 30-Mar-13 10:44:19

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FrankWippery Sat 30-Mar-13 10:44:49

Ahhh, but I now see I am only being name-checked by The Usual Suspects. Fair enough. I suspected as I wrote it, that The Usual Suspects would snatch up my post with glee, and run amok with it.

This sentence alone suggests that you absolutely knew while you were typing it that it would cause a massive reaction. That, to me, looks rather like a goading attempt. Prod prod prod and people will snap.

Handbag compartment you say?
Half looking for a new car, will check out a Picasso.

Chubfuddler Sat 30-Mar-13 10:45:34

Here we go.

This is what it's really about. People who are offended/angry by their own perception that done posters are favoured by hq, or think that they should be. Hence all the royalty/mean girls/head girl chippy shit that pops up whenever hully posts a thread that turns into japes and chat.

This is all total bullshit. No one gets preferential treatment. There is no clique (although there is no good reason why there can't be - there are loads of quiches on MN and no one cares about them).

Some people just like each other and post random crap. No one else has any reason to be offended by that. You could just join in. Or if you find hully and what you perceive to be her "gang" contemptible you could just ignore them.

Arisbottle Sat 30-Mar-13 10:45:51

We can't find out sat nav, our Renault has compartments - just occurred to me that is where it probably is. We have been looking for it for weeks. thanks.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sat 30-Mar-13 10:46:25

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cestlesautres Sat 30-Mar-13 10:46:56

grin Arisbottle.

LaQueen Sat 30-Mar-13 10:48:24

Frank no, not especially. It was written purely within the constraints of the thread it was on, on Site Stuff which I don't think gets that much traffic, does it.

But, MN veteran that I am, I suspected that if one of the Usual Suspect did get wind of it, they would snatch it up with gleeful abandon. Such is life on MN [shrugs]

Which, of course, they are perfectly entitled to do.

Portofino Sat 30-Mar-13 10:49:39

I am interested in who the Usual Suspects are meant to be. As far as I am aware I posted my own opini