Spoofs, Jokes and Trolls

(1000 Posts)
Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 16:47:00


I want a serious debate about this.

I started a joke thread, in my own name as usual, about a neighbour stealing a spoon.

It was questioned as "trolling" and I got told off by Rebecca at MNHQ.

Are spoofs and/or jokes no longer allowed?

Since when?

And why?

What do people think about spoofs, jokes and trolls and the difference theereof?

BOEUF Wed 27-Mar-13 16:47:57

I think you should be able to post what you like, hulls.

ArseAche Wed 27-Mar-13 16:49:30

agree, it's good for a laugh so why not?

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 16:49:36

Me? Or one?

MikeChoccyCoatedLitoris Wed 27-Mar-13 16:49:58

I may actually start crying if this place gets any more dull than it already is.

I didnt read the spoon thread but guessed from the title it was a joke.

SecretLindtBunny Wed 27-Mar-13 16:51:13

I think that HQ are a bit on the sensitive side at the minute, but in general spoof threads should be allowed. Hamster casserole anyone?

magimedi Wed 27-Mar-13 16:51:32

I can not believe you got told off.

It was very funny & obviously a silly thread.

Are we not allowed to have a joke from time to time?

I've only been on MN a few months but people do seem to be getting overly serious about everything.

Could it be cabin fever, after this shit, overlong winter?

SoupDreggon Wed 27-Mar-13 16:52:45

Maybe ask MNHQ what's going on, I'm sure they know.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 16:53:24

Know what?

NotAnotherPackedLunch Wed 27-Mar-13 16:53:46

Threads like that should stay.
It was funny and it wasn't as though you were either being offensive or inspiring others to post about personal/painful experiences.

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 16:54:23

I don't think it's trolling if (a) you keep your own name and (b) it is a thread that can't possibly upset anyone.

The spoon thread therefore isn't trolling.

It is a bit orf, imo.

Trolls rule the boards after 11pm. All manner of inflammatory goadiness is left to stay until harm is done "just in case the op is genuine".

But a harmless bit of farcery gets a bollocking.

Tee2072 Wed 27-Mar-13 16:55:13

It was funny and hardly troll like at all!

HQ, you want to tell us we can't have fun any more? Because this is getting ridiculous.

LadyBeagleEyes Wed 27-Mar-13 16:57:03

I think MNHQ need to see the difference between a spoof funny thread and a troll.
I can understand that with the number of trolls coming on here, and all the reports they must get, it can be tiresome.
BUT if I and many others can clearly see the difference between someone coming on for a laugh (especially if it's a regular poster), and those that just come here out of spite, and to upset people, then surely MNHQ should be able to recognise the nuances too?

It wasn't real??
<narrows eyes>
But the heirloom spoon, the coffee morning....and I SENT YOU MONEY to replace it

I hate to say it but surely someone must have reported?
Does your neighbour have a scarf?

RustyBear Wed 27-Mar-13 16:59:20

How many of the threads in Classics would have been deleted if they were started today?

What harm could the spoons thread have done to anyone? Were MNHQ afraid that somebody might get conned into sending Hully a new spoon?

Stealth, you've come out as a polar bear again. Congratulations thanks

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Wed 27-Mar-13 17:00:48

The trolls have done this. Sucked some of the joy out of mn.

But what can HQ do now? Judge each thread and say ok, this isn't true but it can stay, that one isn't true and it has to go? Can you imagine the cries of favourites and royalty?

Perhaps the rule should be that it can stay if everyone is having fun.

If people start to fight, it has to go. If we're all playing nicely, we won't get sent to the naughty step. grin

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 17:02:14

And while you are at it, Olivia/Helen/Rebecca/Rowan/Julie/Catherine/whoever <wibble: I've left someone out haven't I?> why are some joke threads allowed and moved to classics, whereas others are deemed to be against talk guidelines?

Is the difference simply whether or not they are reported?

ginslinger Wed 27-Mar-13 17:02:24

I think that if people cannot differentiate between a joke and something serious that they should have both their mumsnet login and their internet connection removed. I am fed up of people piling in on people who merely want to air an idea or ask a question. I am not talking about the ruinous trolls but people who just want to chat. If we have to add 'lighthearted' 'joke' or 'not serious' to every post then it becomes tiresome and the professionally offended will win. There are too many professionally offended people around. I get that some people have more than their fair share of crap in life but that does not mean that other people can't enjoy themselves. Don't read something or ignore it.

And stop saying HUN

Hecsy, I guess in reality that is how it works, if no-one reports it flies under MNHQ's radar.
Thank you for the congratulations grin Good to be back. Did anyone miss me?

LadyBeagleEyes Wed 27-Mar-13 17:03:27

I would imagine the people that reported didn't get the joke, and felt a bit silly getting taken in.
Hence reporting, even though the vast majority on the thread were enjoying it.
So, is it MN policy to police people's SOH, and if one person doesn't think it's funny say out of another dozen who join in, the one offended humorless person is the one that is listened to?

TheRealFellatio Wed 27-Mar-13 17:03:48

It's for the benefit of the hard of thinking and the terminally humourless, as they cannot differentiate between spoof/irony and real fuckwittery and trollery.

I hate to say 'PC gorn maaad' but this is what happens when PC goes mad.

ginslinger Wed 27-Mar-13 17:04:15

I really believe that the people who report are so fucking miserable and want no one to have fun that they go around seeking to deliberately take offence.

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 17:04:19

Yes, Hec, but if the rule is "it can stay if everyone is having fun" what do you do about the one person who manages to derail it?

There are a few people who seem to take pleasure in going onto innocuous threads and desperately trying to derail them by either getting the wrong end of the stick or being deliberately obtuse in the way they take offence.

Well tbh I wasn't 100% sure it was a joke. I suspected it was but I'm not used to Hully acting all normal.
But I still didn't report...I think someone's LYING on the INTERNET about SPOONS

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 17:05:11

I missed you Stealth. You just weren't the same in your disguise.

there was another one this morning where I wasn't sure but noew I can't remember that one

ginslinger Wed 27-Mar-13 17:06:06

yes, Maryz you have said it so much better than I have. Fucking doom mongers who hate laughing.

I've had bad things happen to me but I don't look for it in every pissing thread.

gnushoes Wed 27-Mar-13 17:07:20

I've lurked for a long long time and there used to be a lot of fun on the threads. Didn't see the spoon thread, but saw what happened to the freddie's parenting advice one last week which made very clear it was lighthearted but got turned into a ranthathon (and disappeared? Certainly the OP was upset at how it turned out). I do think some of the joy has been sucked out by the attitude that we have to be Serious At All Times.

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 17:08:25

It was probably funnys' one about the van - that was a spoof too. But vair realistic and reasonable.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Wed 27-Mar-13 17:09:39

I didn't realise it was a joke. I thought she meant it. I even offered advice on how to get her spoon back blush I am a fool. grin

It would be a stupid reason to report it though, surely?

I'd like someone who reported it to have the guts to stand up and say so and say why.

But they won't.

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 17:10:05

Oh, yes, gnu, that Freddies one got ridiculous. And she even said at the start that it was for fun angry

Thank you gin. Some people just keep looking until they find something to be offended about.

The most offensive thread I'm on atm is the one about conduct disorder. And that's still there. I hope the op of that one gets a warning.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Wed 27-Mar-13 17:10:47

That's true, Maryz. There'll always be one who wants to fight.

You could start a thread about how cute and fluffy kittens are and someone would come along and be a twat about it.

It might have been the van one...but I don't think it was...will lok back

Milliways Wed 27-Mar-13 17:14:45

I loved your spoon thread Hully! Those jokes make my day and do no-one any harm.

<<misses the old gang and all the banter threads>>

Did no-one offer to start a paypal fund to replace your spoon?

dinkystinky Wed 27-Mar-13 17:14:51

Hullys thread was obviously a joke - as were 95% of the responses. I love the ridiculous joke threads on MN - they are few and far between with the recent influx of PO imbeciles that seem to merely post for the purposes of pissing everyone right off.

AmberLeaf Wed 27-Mar-13 17:15:36

I missed the spoon thread, but I have been surprised lately at what is deleted and similarly, what is not deleted.

It's all weird.

HighBrows Wed 27-Mar-13 17:16:21

I loved the spoon thread too.

I love jokey threads. We need more jokey threads, real life is grim enough!

HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 27-Mar-13 17:18:16


Apols if you think we're a humourless lot. That wasn't our intention at all.

We haven't deleted your thread, Hully. Or any of the other spoof/joke threads that have been started over the past couple of days.

What we have done, though, is mail the folks who started them to let them know that we have had a fair few reports from people who either got taken in and thought they were goady/troll threads or who were a bit concerned that others might get taken in and think they were goady/troll threads - given the unfortunate rise of genuine goady/troll/invader threads recently.

All we said in our mail was that we'd appreciate it hugely if they could cool it with the wind-ups for a bit (there are quite a lot of them all at once!), given the number of reports they were generating.

Again, we're sorry if the recent troubles/extra calls on our delete button has made us a bit grinchy. It's been a long month. reaches for gin

magimedi Wed 27-Mar-13 17:22:40

I know it is optional to have your profile showing but I wonder if it would be a good idea to have the date of a person's joining MN showing when you hovered over their name?

Would this not stop people from reporting trollery and even help to report trollery if you knew someone had been here 1 day or 3 months?

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 17:22:51

People report because they are upset that they were taken in by a thread about spoons?

Who are these people? Are they allowed to vote and procreate ?

Tee2072 Wed 27-Mar-13 17:23:26

The problem is the inconsistency, Helen.


HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 27-Mar-13 17:24:04


The problem is the inconsistency, Helen.


What inconsistency, Tee?


Problem with that is someone new and reaching for help could be branded a troll based only on length of stay

Tee2072 Wed 27-Mar-13 17:27:33

Troll threads hanging about and fun threads being targeted.

Also, I reported a thread this morning that wasn't replied to for hours.

How long between Hully's thread being reported and her being "warned"?

Why did she need to be warned if she's actually done nothing wrong? Broken no TGs?

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 17:28:24

The problem as I see it is that there are some reporters who report to deliberately stir up trouble.

They are invisible goaders.

Take the thread last week by Freddies; that was deliberately derailed to stop it being lighthearted. Hully's thread was reported. The "I'm going to kill my pets" one ended up in Classics.

It just depends who reports.

I do think when you get reports it might be a good idea to keep tabs on who is doing all the reporting, because I reckon it's the same people over and over.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 17:28:28

Hi Helen,

I can't agree with you, "cooling it" will do nothing except make people even more po when joking is allowed to recommence.

You can't, surely, even call it a "wind-up" - a thread about a neighbour stealing a spoon, in my own name, that is one long series of jokes about Roger etc.

Come on.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 17:30:17

And there are loads of us who like a larf and and a spoof and a joke.

Are we just to shut up and let all the humourless po roam free and heavy-footed over MN?

How is that fair?

We have been larking and joking since the beginning, you can't let a load of newbies turn up and ruin the tone and change the style. How can that possibly be fair?

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 17:30:37

And some reported threads are just left.

That conduct disorder one. Is she a goady twat or an ignorant fuckwit? Either way, she should get an email warning her that the type of shite she is spouting is just plain wrong angry

Tee2072 Wed 27-Mar-13 17:31:06

And why should it be cooled? Is it a new Talk Guideline? "If there are too many troll threads, don't you dare start a fun one!!"


seeker Wed 27-Mar-13 17:31:10

Would I be derailing this thread if I asked about deletions? If you're "personally attacked" on a thread, and if you've said on the thread that you're happy for the posts to remain, do you have any say in whether the posts are deleted or not? I was on a thread recently where some people said some very silly things, and they were deleted. Which made them look a bigger deal than they were, and also unbalanced the thread a bit. Feel free to ignore this post if it is derailing- but it just seems to be part of the whole trigger happy culture.

The sad thing is that the spoon thing could easily have been genuine. No sillier than many other recent threads!

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 17:32:00

Genuine up until Roger and co, anyway...

magi - it also wouldn't work with name changes.
I've been here a while, but because I suffered a namechange a couple of weeks ago, I would register as new.

besides which, why should we have to justify what we post, if we are only winding-up or joking, having fun?
I think it's totally different from trolling.

now i'm bored because I can't think of any use for funny threads anymore. sad

BOEUF Wed 27-Mar-13 17:34:56

I think that MNHQ, although I'm sure they're as tired and pissed off as the rest of us, do need to look after the culture of the site we all love. And I think that means not letting the joysuckers succeed in turning this place as tedious as every other parenting site.

UnChartered Wed 27-Mar-13 17:35:01

have to agree totally with this, there are some foul threads that are being left to stand, that one immediately springs to mind Maryz

i like the funny/spoof threads, but the resistance in deleting the goady fucker threads sort of gives the impression that it's open season to be a right dick everywhere on MN

HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 27-Mar-13 17:38:55


Troll threads hanging about and fun threads being targeted.

Also, I reported a thread this morning that wasn't replied to for hours.

How long between Hully's thread being reported and her being "warned"?

Why did she need to be warned if she's actually done nothing wrong? Broken no TGs?

Well, I'm not sure we'd agree with that.

We don't leave troll threads hanging around: the moment we spot them, they're gone.

We might however leave up a thread that some folks think is a troll thread, if we've no reason to think that it's a troll thread. Benefit of the doubt has always been our stance.

And we're not 'targeting' fun threads. God forbid!

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 17:39:28

And the goady invaders aren't going to go away, they are going to increase...tis the joy of a large successful site. If you get us lot to stop joking about and having fun, you'll have nothing but them, and the site will implode.

Boeuf is bang on about guarding the culture.

It's like meeting up in a cafe and sharing coffee and cake with your mates. It's sometimes serious and bad things happen in life, but it's sometimes just a right laff, and that's why the jokey threads shouldn't be complained about.

MNHQ, could you just reply to those going "really?! nothing better to do with your time then?"

sorry, that last sentence looks wrong:

MNHQ, could you just reply to those who report them, going, "really?! nothing better to do with your time then?"

KatieMiddleton Wed 27-Mar-13 17:41:57

Pffffft. Thin end of the wedge isn't it?

Can I suggest that instead of pandering to the slightly wet MNHQ send them a link to a general chat thread in the new topic I'm a fwuffy hun, yes I am. Contain 'em if they can't safely mooch the boards without reaching for the smelling salts.

HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 27-Mar-13 17:42:02


Would I be derailing this thread if I asked about deletions? If you're "personally attacked" on a thread, and if you've said on the thread that you're happy for the posts to remain, do you have any say in whether the posts are deleted or not? I was on a thread recently where some people said some very silly things, and they were deleted. Which made them look a bigger deal than they were, and also unbalanced the thread a bit. Feel free to ignore this post if it is derailing- but it just seems to be part of the whole trigger happy culture.

The sad thing is that the spoon thing could easily have been genuine. No sillier than many other recent threads!

No, seeker. A personal attack breaks the guidelines and, if reported, will be deleted.

That said, if a personal attack is reported, we would always look at the post in context and the thread as a whole - just to make sure no one is selectively reporting in order to get one person deleted and not others.

Tee2072 Wed 27-Mar-13 17:42:36

"And we're not 'targeting' fun threads. God forbid!"

Then why send Hully a warning at all? Why not just ignore the report or reply with 'it's not a troll'.

I got a reply like that just the other day from Rowan. I don't agree with her, I think the thread is weird and trolly and in the wrong place, but it's not up to me, it's up to HQ.

So why didn't HQ tell the reporter to fuck off what Rowan told me?

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 17:42:43

Yy - I think mnhq have to decide that there is a tone to the site, they don't have to be beyond reproach and bland. And I think persistent reporters who are clearly sanctemonious nit pickers should have their attention drawn to many other sites which might better suit them.
Being all things to all people is not a virtue. It's actually a hiding to nothing.

HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 27-Mar-13 17:44:16


Pffffft. Thin end of the wedge isn't it?

Can I suggest that instead of pandering to the slightly wet MNHQ send them a link to a general chat thread in the new topic I'm a fwuffy hun, yes I am. Contain 'em if they can't safely mooch the boards without reaching for the smelling salts.

You calling us slightly wet, KatieMiddleton? <squares up>

Lyondoon Wed 27-Mar-13 17:44:17

Posters do realize they're starting to sound like Mouldies?

Sites changing, all these new posters are ruining it, I remember when all this was fields, all very familiar.

KatieMiddleton Wed 27-Mar-13 17:44:47

There should be a comma after 'wet'

CandyCrushed Wed 27-Mar-13 17:46:07

I think a lot of the jokey threads are funny but sometimes they are a bit confused and tedious.

There are too many of them at the moment.

Some genuine threads are so bizarre that I can get confused about whether a thread is a joke or not.

I also think that newer members who don't know all the 'in' jokes and references would have trouble disciphering the MN lingo.

Hully is funny but I can see why the spoon thread (the earlier posts) was a bit borderline from MNHQs point of view.

UnChartered Wed 27-Mar-13 17:46:33

i slightly disagree with that Helen, about reporting and personal attacks

recently i had an 'altercation' with a MNer, and we sorted it out on thread - no harm done.

Until some nosey twat decided to report us both and with the deletions it is left looking like it was a nasty spat.

Tee2072 Wed 27-Mar-13 17:48:40

There's a difference, Lyondoon between 'the site is changing' and 'the site is being destroyed by the PO, the Goady and the moronic'.

Mouldies was the former. We are talking about the latter. I know, I was a newbie when Mouldies happened. I still shake my head at their inability to accept change.

This isn't good change. Good change is, well good. This is change that could kill the site deader than President Lincoln.

HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 27-Mar-13 17:48:41


"And we're not 'targeting' fun threads. God forbid!"

Then why send Hully a warning at all? Why not just ignore the report or reply with 'it's not a troll'.

I got a reply like that just the other day from Rowan. I don't agree with her, I think the thread is weird and trolly and in the wrong place, but it's not up to me, it's up to HQ.

So why didn't HQ tell the reporter to fuck off what Rowan told me?

We didn't send her a warning. We asked her (and others), politely, to cool it. That's all. No deletions, no warnings.

And of course we would have told anyone reporting those threads that the OP was not a troll.

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 17:49:49

I don't think this is a 'Moldies vs newbies' thing at all.
I don't care who I chat with. I just want to be able to chat.

CandyCrushed Wed 27-Mar-13 17:50:47

Is the dog in the pram on the bus thread a joke thread, a spoof or a troll. I am fairly sure it's a joke thread but I don't know for sure confused

Tee2072 Wed 27-Mar-13 17:51:17

Okay. Then why ask them to cool it? What do they need to cool? Having fun?

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 17:52:35

Candy - but when you are new to anything, doesn't it take a while to "get" the jokes etc? Why would MN be any different?

And some newbies "get" stuff from day one and just join in immediately.

If you can see why the sppon thread was a bit borderline well, er...

HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 27-Mar-13 17:53:34


i slightly disagree with that Helen, about reporting and personal attacks

recently i had an 'altercation' with a MNer, and we sorted it out on thread - no harm done.

Until some nosey twat decided to report us both and with the deletions it is left looking like it was a nasty spat.

Ok, well, in that situation, although it was, technically, correct to delete the personal attacks, we would like to think the MNHQer on duty would have had time to see that you and the other MNer had made up on the thread and apologised to each other - and we could then have pointed out to the nosey twat reporter that peace and love had broken on, so all was well.

Obviously, that didn't happen in this case.

LadyBeaEGGleEyes Wed 27-Mar-13 17:53:37

We need the ones that reported to come on and give us their POV about why they were offended about a thread about spoons, really.
I wonder where they are.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 17:54:19

Helen, what about these, my earlier points?

Hi Helen,

I can't agree with you, "cooling it" will do nothing except make people even more po when joking is allowed to recommence.

You can't, surely, even call it a "wind-up" - a thread about a neighbour stealing a spoon, in my own name, that is one long series of jokes about Roger etc.

Come on.

And there are loads of us who like a larf and and a spoof and a joke.

Are we just to shut up and let all the humourless po roam free and heavy-footed over MN?

How is that fair?

We have been larking and joking since the beginning, you can't let a load of newbies turn up and ruin the tone and change the style. How can that possibly be fair?

Candy - why does it matter which it is?
as long as it's not being done specifically to harm or prise money out of people...

Tee2072 Wed 27-Mar-13 17:57:14

I used to post on a forum that imploded due to similar circumstances. It wasn't fun. It's still referred to as the Night of a Thousand Knives, as so many people were deleted and banned for what was, really, no reason.

HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 27-Mar-13 17:57:46


Okay. Then why ask them to cool it? What do they need to cool? Having fun?

No, of course not. But I gather they'd announced their intention to start a lot of spoof threads, and then they did, all at once.

It was the fact that there were quite a few of them that made us send the mail.

Perhaps we got our tone wrong in the mail (I'll have to check) but I can only repeat that it wasn't meant as a telling off or as a warning; merely as a polite request to not start any more for a bit.

magimedi Wed 27-Mar-13 17:58:12

I am not sure what 'mouldies' are - I am assuming people who have been her e along time?

I'm being lazy & copying what I said on another thread, with regard to regulars/oldies/mouldies:

" I am new to MN & love the fact that it has 'regulars' who I quickly learnt to recognise.

This isn't the only forum I use and the other two or so all have oldies/regulars & that's why I like them. You can realise the 'tone' of the place so much more easily than if it's just a bunch of randoms posting.

One forum I use I've been on for nearly ten years as have a few others. We get the odd accusations of 'clique' but also a fresh intake who understand that we have 'known' each other a long time & shared much.

It's what makes for a good forum, IMHO."

Any forum you join you have to tread water for a bit whilst you see what the place is like.

RustyBear Wed 27-Mar-13 17:58:46

Candy - does it actually matter whether the dog on the bus thread is a spoof, a troll or a joke? It's not doing any harm - if you're not sure how to take it, just don't post on it....

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 17:59:39

moldies were some of the original mnetters who all flounced off to start their own secret club and upset a lot of people left behind.


Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 18:00:43

Three of us Helen, just three.

And we started one harmless thread each.

Out of the zillions on here.

HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 27-Mar-13 18:00:46


Helen, what about these, my earlier points?

Hi Helen,

I can't agree with you, "cooling it" will do nothing except make people even more po when joking is allowed to recommence.

You can't, surely, even call it a "wind-up" - a thread about a neighbour stealing a spoon, in my own name, that is one long series of jokes about Roger etc.

Come on.

And there are loads of us who like a larf and and a spoof and a joke.

Are we just to shut up and let all the humourless po roam free and heavy-footed over MN?

How is that fair?

We have been larking and joking since the beginning, you can't let a load of newbies turn up and ruin the tone and change the style. How can that possibly be fair?

Nope. We certainly wouldn't want anyone - newbie or not - to turn up and stop anyone larking around.

Please don't assume we wouldn't explain to those who were confused/upset/bewildered/concerned that we could see this was a regular MNer having a bit of a laugh. Of course we would.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 18:01:36

And one was about spoons

One about fizzy wine in the afternoon

And one about a van


HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 27-Mar-13 18:03:12


Three of us Helen, just three.

And we started one harmless thread each.

Out of the zillions on here.

Three is quite a few in one day, no?

But look, we've already apologised for appearing to be humourless/grinchy.

It can be hard to get the balance right sometimes. Last time there was a spoof thread, we were lambasted for joining in, if I recall!

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 18:05:24

No, three is not a lot in one day. IMVHO

And this is bigger than the telling off email of today (I appreciate you have apologised etc), the reason I am harping on is because I think there is a real danger of the whole tone of the site changing and us all being driven off.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 18:06:56

However, I also appreciate you're bored with it now, so can we take from this that koking and spoofing ARE ABSOLUTELY ONE HUNDRED PERCENT A OK as they used to be?

Just so we all know where we stand?

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 18:07:13

koking is perhaps not ok


BOEUF Wed 27-Mar-13 18:07:34

I know it's only Wednesday, but shall we all just get wankered? wine

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 18:08:30

Speaking poissonly, I have had a very stressful day that involved the natural history museum.

So yes. Let's.

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 18:09:18

I have just discovered martinis and I am totally wankered already. Hths

UnChartered Wed 27-Mar-13 18:09:39

i only need asking the once wine


<drowns sorrows>

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 18:10:17


magimedi Wed 27-Mar-13 18:10:42

Gin on a Wednesday sounds like a wonderful idea.

Gin is the answer (to everything) wine

ginslinger Wed 27-Mar-13 18:11:25

oh Pag that's where I discovered martinis. Perhaps we should start a thread about how much we love martinis in the maldives?

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 18:11:25

You have red gin, magi

Did you over do the pink?

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 18:11:42


HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 27-Mar-13 18:12:08


No, three is not a lot in one day. IMVHO

And this is bigger than the telling off email of today (I appreciate you have apologised etc), the reason I am harping on is because I think there is a real danger of the whole tone of the site changing and us all being driven off.

OK, well that may be true. Although I'm not sure it is, entirely.

We do have a lot of new people - always do at the turn of the year. (We always notice because we have to spend weeks explaining that we allow swearing, and that swearing isn't always a personal attack.)

And we have lost some of the older regulars - that does tend to happen, sadly.

But we hope the tone will stay largely the same. That's down in part to us at MNHQ trying to stay as reasonable as possible and not lose our SOH too often but it's also down to newbies being willing to get a feel for MN as it is now and learn to love all its wonderful idiosyncracies. It's also down to regulars being willing to welcome, be patient with and tolerate newbies who might not get our ways straightaway.

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 18:13:30

Yes, Helen. I remember that - you were pasted for showing favouritism and allowing regulars to troll.

It was absofuckinglutely ridiculous, and you should have, quite simply banned the reporters.

In fact, when I rule the world, I'm going to ban everyone who reports.

But I don't have any alcohol, so can't get wankered <cries>

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 18:13:37

Yeah but we don't like them.

Can't we ban them?

Except those that get it immediately (like magi), the rest are just frankly annoying.

LadyBeaEGGleEyes Wed 27-Mar-13 18:13:41

I actually remember that Helen, it was the cake one with Greensleeves and her cake thread, wasn't it?
I totally agree how hard it must be to get the balance right, you kind of joined in and were lambasted by quite a few humourless people on that one.
So if you join in you're wrong and if you tell people off you're wrong.
I've no answer really.

FancyPuffin Wed 27-Mar-13 18:14:19

I miss the larking sad

The mix between serious with a stick up ass and larky fun seems to have tipped into the dark side.

It's not about newbies it's about people being so fucking offended about everything.

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 18:14:51

As an aside, can I point out that I think magi shows great promise and may well fit in rather well grin

HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 27-Mar-13 18:15:07


Yeah but we don't like them.

Can't we ban them?

Except those that get it immediately (like magi), the rest are just frankly annoying.

No. Fraid not.

But perhaps we can slowly show them the wisdom of our ways, eh?

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 18:15:18


<<falls off patio>>

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 18:15:33

see magi?

You're in, gel.

SecretLindtBunny Wed 27-Mar-13 18:16:29

Helen, when you say we have lost some of the older posters that's the understatement of the century.

There are an awful lot of people who now don't bother posting because they have had enough of Po-faced whiny gits reporting.

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 18:16:40

And I want to complain vociferously about this thread

It is animalist, and should have been deleted, not put into Classics <tuts> Did the PO miss it?

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 18:16:41

I admire your (obligatory) optimism, but sadly don't share it.

They don't WANT to see and share the wisdom, they are humourless and po and dull and want to make us the same. And I am not joking.

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 18:17:23

Is it at all possible that the people endlessly reporting the joking and the people lambasting mnhq for joining in with the joke are in fact cut from the same cloth?

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 18:17:39

Yep, Secret, I stayed off for a while because it was all so dull, and now I am fightint back, but I may soon lose the will to live and fight...

HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 27-Mar-13 18:18:00


Helen, when you say we have lost some of the older posters that's the understatement of the century.

There are an awful lot of people who now don't bother posting because they have had enough of Po-faced whiny gits reporting.

They may report. It doesn't mean we do what they're demanding we do.

GetOeuf Wed 27-Mar-13 18:20:07

REALLY LAUGHS at people being confused/bewildered/upset/confused about spoons grin

I agree with beouf - can imagine it's a tough gig sometimes making a judgement call on something which could be rather nuanced, but agree there is a tone to this site and that is somethign which I think is worth conserving.

Nowt like moldies - they just wanted it to be people who were there from the beginning. Loads of newbies on here get it right away and become well liked mners really quickly.

Mnhq is great - most of the time make the best judgement they can but pandering to the stupid is a bit of a sorry path to go down imo.

CandyCrushed Wed 27-Mar-13 18:20:28

I knew the spoons one was a spoof and I said I thought the dog in a pram on a bus was a spoof and I didn't post on the threads.

(but, wow, rustybear great advice not to post on threads if I don't know if they are spam or not. I wouldn't have worked that out for myself confused )

HelenMumsnet Nice move calling posters who report personal attacks ' Nosey Twats '. Absolutely charming confused

HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 27-Mar-13 18:20:56


I admire your (obligatory) optimism, but sadly don't share it.

They don't WANT to see and share the wisdom, they are humourless and po and dull and want to make us the same. And I am not joking.

Maybe. But if folks just attack them, then they genuinely do have something to complain about.

We think there's room for everybody. And the MN thang gets you in the end.

(Think I was probably quite dull when I first joined. My first post was about sippy cups, fgs)

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 18:21:55

Helen, did you see what happened on Freddie's thread ? It should have been fun, but she got pasted.

And there was a child swapping thread someone tried to derail.

And there are people lurking and reporting all over the place.

I got deleted for trying out my backwards talk on one thread. Where one poster was deliberately trying to wind everyone up, and was allowed to here

It is becoming impossible to talk about anything without someone taking offence. Now I have taken huge offence at the Conduct Disorder thread - but I'm willing to stay on it and argue my point. I'm not silently lurking and reporting (though I confess I did ask you to keep an eye on it, for fear the DM lot got a hold of it).

HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 27-Mar-13 18:22:26


HelenMumsnet Nice move calling posters who report personal attacks ' Nosey Twats '. Absolutely charming confused

Oh dear. I was repeating someone else's words in an attempt at humour. MNHQ Fail.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 18:23:31

The rest of us got it, Helen.


SecretLindtBunny Wed 27-Mar-13 18:23:43

Unfortunately Helen, I have to disagree.

It seems that they report for apparently minor things which we used to be able handle like the grown women and men we are, and these get interpreted as Personal Attacks/ breaking talk guidelines and get deleted.

Can you honestly say that some of the Classics threads would not have been deleted had they been posted now?

LadyBeaEGGleEyes Wed 27-Mar-13 18:23:51

It was a JOKE Candy.
FFS you can't win Helen.

habbibu Wed 27-Mar-13 18:23:54

Yeah, yeah, but can we now get back to Pagwatch having Only Just discovered martinis? I'm having to rethink my entire perception of her. Next thing there'll be a revelation that she doesn't live in silk housecoats.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 18:24:12

My very first post was a spoof one. It was marvellous. Happy days.

TheNebulousBoojum Wed 27-Mar-13 18:24:13

No, there must always be Hully sprinkling glitter and love on MN.
Can't MN have an icon that means 'Don't be a humourless twat, this is a joke'?

Or 'get a grip, you cannot be serious'?

Because sometimes, in the middle of a shit week, listing the contents of my teaspoon drawer to prove to Hully that they are highly miscellaneous is relaxing.
Thank you for your thread Hully, it cheered up my sad little heart.

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 18:24:47

And there, just there is a classic example of not having a sense of humour [sigh]

Take offence at a crossed-out comment quoting someone else's comment on a thread about just letting things go.

HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 27-Mar-13 18:24:57


Helen, did you see what happened on Freddie's thread ? It should have been fun, but she got pasted.

And there was a child swapping thread someone tried to derail.

And there are people lurking and reporting all over the place.

I got deleted for trying out my backwards talk on one thread. Where one poster was deliberately trying to wind everyone up, and was allowed to here

It is becoming impossible to talk about anything without someone taking offence. Now I have taken huge offence at the Conduct Disorder thread - but I'm willing to stay on it and argue my point. I'm not silently lurking and reporting (though I confess I did ask you to keep an eye on it, for fear the DM lot got a hold of it).

I did see the Freddie thread. Maryz. And 'things' were done in response to that, we can assure you.

And someone being offended is not a reason for us to delete a thread. <gavel>

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 18:25:00

The second day however I started a spoof thread and it went a bit er mental and I had to namechange...

My only ever namechange however

habbibu Wed 27-Mar-13 18:25:08

Iirc, hully, you got quite a pasting for that!

habbibu Wed 27-Mar-13 18:25:34

Ah, x-post!

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 18:25:48

yes that was funny nebulous

GetOeuf Wed 27-Mar-13 18:26:07

God the Natural History museum is stressful.

I went there as an adult in my 30s and dd was about 14 and we CRINGED AGAINST THE WALL at that animatronic trex. Scared me to death.

And that big fucker from One of Our Dinosaurs Is Missing in the foyer isn't real.

Tee2072 Wed 27-Mar-13 18:26:20

No, not MNHQ fail. Exactly what we're all talking about example.

Like it or not, MN has a culture. And not everyone is going to get or appreciate that culture.

And if they don't? There's plenty of sites they might like better.

So I think HQ need to stop trying to please everyone all the time. To that way leads madness and the end of the site.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 18:26:22

It were scary habb, pitchforks!

Mind, I'd fight back on the beaches now..

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 18:26:53

hear hear Tee


Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 18:27:25

It's just very boring GetOeuf, god the dullness of the cocoon

habbibu Wed 27-Mar-13 18:27:43

Was that the shades of beige thread?

HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 27-Mar-13 18:27:53

Right. I'm afraid I have to go now. Hope that's helped a bit. Even if I'm not funny.

BOEUF Wed 27-Mar-13 18:28:01

I like animatronic sex.

BOEUF Wed 27-Mar-13 18:28:25

I scared Helen off sad

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 18:29:49

Helen, before you go, would you mind confirming jokes and spoofs are still one hendred per cent allowed? (see above/below depending)

To avoid confusion?

TheNebulousBoojum Wed 27-Mar-13 18:30:17

I do think that if some people are such fragile blossoms that they find a thread about stolen spoons upsetting, then they really ought to find a twinkly site that discusses fluffy kittens and how to fold napkins into lilies and what's the current thoughts on TV soaps.
This site is more challenging, and robust. Don't stay and become distressed. Piss off.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 18:30:19

No habb, that was the first and was fine

We mun draw a veil over the second.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 18:31:02

MNHQ should put that on the site, nebulous.

succinct and pithy

littlemissbunny Wed 27-Mar-13 18:31:23

The reason I came over here last year from nethuns was because of the jokey threads, I love the fact that most people have a sense of humour and can take a joke.

If I don't know if a thread is a joke or not I just ignore it, but you get to know who's who, and how to take people.

I think it would be a shame if people were afraid to post jokey threads as this site would get a bit dull to be honest, what's next? Banning swearing (please don't this is the only place I get to swear).

Perhaps newbies need an induction? Be made to read classic threads so they can see that we know how to have a laugh, but also if you need help there's always someone willing to help?

I love mumsnet, and dare I say even the trolls as I love spotting a good thread and having a laugh, it wouldn't be the same without them!

GetOeuf Wed 27-Mar-13 18:31:36

Martinis are lovely. I only just discovered them recently. You have food in shape of a lovely booze soaked olive, it's pure alcohol so you get pissed quickly and small volume so you don't have to stagger to the loos and wrench your tights down every 5 mins to pee.

I am all about the glams.

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 18:31:56

It wasn't you Boeuf. She is scared of animatronic sex. On some level we all are.

UnChartered Wed 27-Mar-13 18:32:06


spot fucking on

RustyBear Wed 27-Mar-13 18:32:35

I was going to take a picture of my MIL's weird spoons in the hope that someone could work out what they're for....

TheNebulousBoojum Wed 27-Mar-13 18:32:54

Just don't disappear in a puff of sulphur you mad old trout, because this MN is so much better with you in it.
That's to Hully BTW.
And Maryz
And all the other interesting people.

GetOeuf Wed 27-Mar-13 18:33:50

NOT a mnhq fail.

A santimonious priss fail.

Report that, motherfucker.

habbibu Wed 27-Mar-13 18:34:14

Seriously - where have you lot BEEN? You'd think martinis were a young people's drink that's just become mainstream.

TheNebulousBoojum Wed 27-Mar-13 18:34:17

Go ahead Rusty, I'll get DS onto it.
He identified a marrow spoon last week, and added it to his collection. Although it's not like a teaspoon in any sense of the word.

GetOeuf Wed 27-Mar-13 18:35:45

Lol I thought you were calling helen a mad old troiut.

I have GOT to stop saying motherfucker.

It's that pag's fault, she made me.

SecretLindtBunny Wed 27-Mar-13 18:36:32

Yes, well thanks to MN I keep using the C word in rl. It's getting me a few catsbum faces.

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 18:36:39

<nods>> low volume to high alcohol is excellent when needing to endlessly pee is undesirable.
I also just had my first mojito. I am relatively naive in the world of alcohol

GetOeuf Wed 27-Mar-13 18:36:53

I AM YOUNG <scowl>

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 18:37:56

Haha at report that motherfucker.

It's not me Getorf. I blame The Wire.

GetOeuf Wed 27-Mar-13 18:38:25

Lolol at 'on some level we all are'

I can't be doing with mojitos. All that greenery.

I had a caiparinininha some time ago and that was lovely.

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 18:40:32

Hey, I could work my way through the obvious drinks that I should reasonably have tried by now, given my years. It would put an interesting spin on supper each evening. The sunset cruise could be particularly challenging

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 18:41:49

Oh I love them mojitos and cap do-dahs.

Bloke in a local bar does an apple mojito just delish

BOEUF Wed 27-Mar-13 18:42:47

I like the sound of caipirinhahahaha. What is it?

Tee2072 Wed 27-Mar-13 18:43:24

I do not care for martinis.

I'll take a Glenlivet. Straight up. No fucker better put water or ice in my fucking whisky.

And ::bows::

CandyCrushed Wed 27-Mar-13 18:44:31

Perhaps I was joking too. hmm

...and then some of you lot decided to take offence at me taking offence.

You see it is all too complicated. <sigh>

The joke threads are funny, I post on them ffs, but I still think they can be a bit tedious when there are too many of them.

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 18:44:38

Yes, what is it?
I'm not saying that out loud though. I would have to write it down.

BOEUF Wed 27-Mar-13 18:45:19

I like a good slammer myself.

ginhag Wed 27-Mar-13 18:45:33


ginhag Wed 27-Mar-13 18:46:31

I'm also reporting myself for swearing ON A FAMILY WEBSITE.

And for shouting.

BOEUF Wed 27-Mar-13 18:46:48

You post on them FFS, or you post on them "FFS"? Because that can look rude. Caprinainahahahaha?

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 18:47:40

Well possibly Candy. But did anyone report you?
We can all misunderstand each other but you clear it up on the thread. It's the snidey reporting that is the problem.

A simple 'I was joking guys' would have ended the confusion over your comment. It's not difficult most of the time

LovesBeingWokenEveryNight Wed 27-Mar-13 18:48:05

BOEUF Wed 27-Mar-13 18:07:34
I know it's only Wednesday, but shall we all just get wankered?

Wankered Wednesday is born grin

BOEUF Wed 27-Mar-13 18:48:30

I am going to put dd2 to bed in nine minutes. Then I will be caprinainahahahahaing the fuck out of tonight. Animatronic style.

ginhag Wed 27-Mar-13 18:49:07


Lovely, but if you drink more than about 12 you may be slightly ill, have a fight with a random posh bloke, and break someone's boat. blush

BOEUF Wed 27-Mar-13 18:49:39

Wankered Wednesday- I like it grin

Tee2072 Wed 27-Mar-13 19:11:46

Break someone's boat? hmm

Yes. Use your words on thread rather than reporting.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 19:17:26

candy, let us all agree you were joking

have a capinainananananananhahahahahaha and get down with us

<beady eyes at Helen>

ginhag Wed 27-Mar-13 19:20:42

I only broke it a bit. They didn't seem to mind.

Tee2072 Wed 27-Mar-13 19:25:10

Well, if it was only a bit.

I shall have to pass on wankered Wednesday as The Mother Who Sees Invisible Dirt and Makes Passive Aggressive Comments about it will be here on Saturday and I've still got mad cleaning to do.

I'm a grown up right? So why don't I tell her to STFU?

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 19:27:47

You need sarcasm. Wide -eyed sarcasm.

So when she says, "Oh dear look there seems to be a cobweb up there"

Clutch your throat and roll on the floor and screech "Oh my god! Phone the cobweb police and hospital for tropical diseases now!"


Tee2072 Wed 27-Mar-13 19:29:25

Excellent! I shall do that.

What I usually do is roll my eyes so hard they hurt.

She's actually gotten a lot better. Really.

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 19:30:26

Is it worth me coming back or is MN still a bit shit?

I'm up for wankered Wednesday though < drinks>

habbibu Wed 27-Mar-13 19:32:13

Nah. Just repeat, "it's shabby chic, mother. Are you really so behind the times?"

habbibu Wed 27-Mar-13 19:32:54

Depends, usual. Have you discovered martinis yet?

CandyCrushed Wed 27-Mar-13 19:32:56

I didnt say i was joking hmm

I said I might be joking. So you don't need to agree anything.

BOEUF Wed 27-Mar-13 19:34:18

Candy, have a pissing drink already. Usual- it could go either way, tbh. Are you feeling lucky? Are ya?

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 19:34:58

I'm on the red wine.

I'm up for a retro Martini though.

CandyCrushed Wed 27-Mar-13 19:37:43

I having a drink grin wine wine wine wine

UnChartered Wed 27-Mar-13 19:38:14

<gooses usual>


Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 19:38:17

wotevs candy

am on second glass of fizzy wine

very nice

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 19:38:45

hey usual!

ginslinger Wed 27-Mar-13 19:40:00

Oh god we're all going to be hammered. Hello usual

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 19:40:05

I knew usual couldn't stay away.

but [arf] at her reappearing on Wankered Wednesday as she couldn't wait for Drunk Friday.

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 19:41:39

So you weren't joking Candy? You are a sanctimoanyarse, are you?

I have no wine. Again <cried> It's the snow's fault. I am eating leftovers and the only chocolate I have is the kids' easter eggs. And I've eaten one of them already blush

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 19:42:07

Well, Maryz I did try grin

I'm going to be very selective about the threads I post on lies

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 19:42:30

I have no choc

I want choc

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 19:42:59

<cries> not <cried> ffs. Though I did cry when I realised my emergency bottle of wine has been drunk by someone. I would suspect ds, but I actually think dh might have found it and given it to me for Mothers' Day.

ginhag Wed 27-Mar-13 19:43:00

I have ALWAYS been invisible to Hully. ALWAYS [tearybambieyes]

Must put more effort into MN.

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 19:44:20

It's your name gin [helpful]

Our eyes just blur over the word gin as we see it so often [gin]

BOEUF Wed 27-Mar-13 19:44:35

I havent got anything exotic in really, but I will have a few little vodka shots. Absolute Vodka IN FANCY LIMITED EDITION BOTTLES is on offer in one of the less salubrious supermarkets at the moment, so I keep buying it with the plan of making candle holders or something. Then I remember that I'm not a student any more sad.

EostreChaoticResurrEggtion Wed 27-Mar-13 19:46:10

I want choc and I want southern comfort and I want people to stop being cuntwankers and reporting threads left right and centre.

The good thing out of all that is that the choc will be coming soon grin along with the cuddly gorilla hmmgrin

ginhag Wed 27-Mar-13 19:46:48

I can't change it tho. All the MN friends I have in RL call me Gin. I got introduced to someone's Mum as Gin recently, and it will be my place name thingy at an upcoming wedding. I am 'Aunty Gin' to a variety of slightly feral offspring.

So I is gin innit.

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 19:47:19

I just want some of BOEUFs vodka.

ginhag Wed 27-Mar-13 19:47:50

I am drinking beer <dull>

I wonder if I could find a cocktail umbrella to stick in it so I could be all exotic.

IamtheZombie Wed 27-Mar-13 19:48:04

<<Zombie sighs>>

Someone upthread (or maybe it was on Maryz's AIBU thread) suggested that the PO, or at least some of them, are going through a shit time in RL and take it out on here.

Zombie has been having the shittiest of shitty times for the last 20 months and they show no sign of ending anytime soon. But, she has never felt that meant that she is entitled to piss on someone else's party. Quite the contrary. So many times on dark days and even darker nights it's been the larking on MN that has helped her more than almost anything else.

She agrees that it is becoming more difficult to find or to have much fun here anymore and that saddens her.

BOEUF Wed 27-Mar-13 19:48:05

<wipes a tear>

That's actually really sweet, Aunty Gin.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 19:48:35

we are all invisible ginhag, only our outer fleshly clothings can be known

ginhag Wed 27-Mar-13 19:49:09


It IS <blubs>

BOEUF Wed 27-Mar-13 19:49:16

We need Talc here to visually interpret you all some fancy vodka.

ginhag Wed 27-Mar-13 19:50:34

That was deeeeeeep Hully.

<touches forelock>*

* I said foreLOCK.

UnChartered Wed 27-Mar-13 19:52:02

Zombie yup, i've been really snippy at times had to believe i know wink but once someone's pulled me up on thread, i can retract my words and apologise

i think it's called being a grown up

would you like a small glass of port <passes it whichever way is deemed polite>

magimedi Wed 27-Mar-13 19:53:21

Having retired for an hour or two in order to down my red pink gins I am just so pleased to see that many of you are drinking gin wine

AIBU to think that smilie should be changed to [gin] rather than [ wine ] ?

Is not wine for weak dicks? Is not gin the drink of an adult?

(Am so overcome by MaryZ post that I might have to go & lie in a darkened room with DH mainlining feeding me gin)

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 19:54:35

I don't much like Gin. Vodka is far superior.

magimedi Wed 27-Mar-13 19:56:08

usual - vodka is for the weak, cos it has no taste.


Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 19:56:08

wine is the way the truth and the light

littlemissbunny Wed 27-Mar-13 19:56:50

I drink most things so long as they have alcohol in <classy bird me> grin

a word of warning on capirhiniaaas....some of you may remember my first date/five capirhinniaaaas/sexy love tap. just saying.

Coconutty Wed 27-Mar-13 19:58:15

I think you should report the thieving bitch to the police for stealing your teaspoon.

oops wrong thread sorry

Tee2072 Wed 27-Mar-13 19:59:05

I just had a slice of chocolate pizza. My mother in law sent it to my husband for his birthday. She's currently my favourite mother type.

I have no booze. sad

littlemissbunny Wed 27-Mar-13 19:59:24

Is the thread still there and where might I find it?

Purely for research purposes you understand ;)

ginhag Wed 27-Mar-13 20:00:16

I like all the boozes. Equal opportunities y'know.

I am reporting you all for DISCRIMINATION.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 20:00:29

oh Mimi, we still speak of the Love Tap chez moi...

EostreChaoticResurrEggtion Wed 27-Mar-13 20:00:47

some of you may remember my first date/five capirhinniaaaas/sexy love tap. just saying

I know nothing about this...tell me, tell me.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 20:01:30

oh tell them, it's perfect for wanketed weds

ginhag Wed 27-Mar-13 20:02:01

<edge of seat>

EostreChaoticResurrEggtion Wed 27-Mar-13 20:03:25

<waits impatiently>

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 20:05:36

really we need a link to the ipoat thread where you told us, the gradual unfolding was SO good

Tee2072 Wed 27-Mar-13 20:08:17

I have no idea what y'all are talking about.

BOEUF Wed 27-Mar-13 20:08:52

Yy, this I need to see.

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 20:09:23

I don't know what the ipoat thread is, I have never read it in all my 100 years of being on MN.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 20:09:32

naughty madame needs to tell the tale

GetOeuf Wed 27-Mar-13 20:10:31

I have no idea what's in a caipirnihahahahahahahaaa. Some kind of Portuguese booze and some brown sugar and some green plant.

I got absolutely atrocious on them anyway,

Welcome back usual you bugger, we got all upset when you went and started loads of threads and scottishmum told us all off.

Actually why the HELL is she called scottishmum my? Anyone less likely to call themselves a mummy I can't imagine.

You know, things are pretty shit for me right now. And MN is my kind of solace. If I could climb through my laptop screen into the bar and drink with you all night now, nothing could make me feel better.

Here is where I come for some uplifting. Not to see people piss drear and grey all over the place.

All those of you who are lurking, smurking about reporting - fuck off and leave the rest of us to it. If you don't like the sense of humour here, why on earth are you on MN?

Can someone pass me a large gin?

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 20:10:51

there are lots of them usual, er basically wear crinolines and talk rubbish in the haha

I have no idea why

GetOeuf Wed 27-Mar-13 20:11:20

Atrocious is supposed to say stocious.

But atrocious is apt as well tbh.

Oh, and [oneupman] I had my first ever caipirnihahahahahahahaaa in Rio, about 20 years ago.

BOEUF Wed 27-Mar-13 20:11:42

Tanqueray, my darling? Ice and slice?

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 20:11:53

sup Biwi?

BOEUF Wed 27-Mar-13 20:13:00

<keeps Asda vodka for self and usual>

bout to go out of business, Hulls.

GetOeuf Wed 27-Mar-13 20:13:26

Sorry things Re so shite biwi. I reAlly hope things pick up soon.

We should all have another piss up in Londres soon.

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 20:13:33

lol at scottishmummy telling you off.

I love Scottishmummy, her name doesn't really fit her though does it? grin

GetOeuf Wed 27-Mar-13 20:14:03

Oh shit biwi x posts. Bloody hell.

Yes please to Tanqueray. With lime, please!


Anyway, sorry - I appear to have pissed on the thread anyway. grin

Definitely yes to a piss up a Londres. Welcome back, usual.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 20:15:17

oh fuck, how did that happen? triple dip?

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 20:15:18

Asda vodka and rolla cola, stay classy.

BOEUF Wed 27-Mar-13 20:15:51

Oh BIWI. It's so hard out there. I'm really sorry to hear that.

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 20:16:02

Thanks for the welcome backs <wipes tear>

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 20:16:04

I'm up for London, I'm better now

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 20:16:39

wot about a ( long) lunch?

MyOtherNameIsFunnier Wed 27-Mar-13 20:16:40

Hello Loverrrrrrrrrrs.

I am incognito. And sober. Neither of these things are particularly fun at the moment so I have come here to be amused, while listening with ahlf an ear to Phil Spencer and his inyourendo.

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 20:17:16

It is shit out there.

I might spend the next few years in a drunken stupor.

MyOtherNameIsFunnier Wed 27-Mar-13 20:17:18

Ah that was a shite cross post. Sorry BIWI, my lovely.

GetOeuf Wed 27-Mar-13 20:17:20

Lol at Rola cola.

Cinzano ad cherryade was bloody lovely circa 1991

BOEUF Wed 27-Mar-13 20:17:38

Monsieur Levi Roots is endorsing some pineapple crush thingy. This vodka is a veritable taste of Asda the Caribbean.

Long story short, then moving back into larking mode:

No business since Dec. Two projects commissioned in Jan - hurrah! - start work, client cancels. Cancellation charges due. Twatface client refuses to pay. Sends nasty solicitor letter. No funds to take them to court for money well due to us.

EostreChaoticResurrEggtion Wed 27-Mar-13 20:17:45

BIWI sorry to hear that.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 20:18:13

see thats wots great about this kind of mm, can mix gin, jokes and love and sympathy

GetOeuf Wed 27-Mar-13 20:19:05

I'm nor organising the piss up.

Hully you do it. You know you want to.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 20:19:10

kneecapping Biwi?

I don't drink, but it is Wednesday and I am a Wanker, will that suffice?

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 20:20:11

ok getouef

I will say a date venue and time and it's a one shot deal ( fair)

BOEUF Wed 27-Mar-13 20:20:44

Yes, all wankers welcome.

GetOeuf Wed 27-Mar-13 20:20:46

Bloody hell biwi that's terrible. I am really sorry that must be such a worry and heartbreak. Could the client be just a bastard stringing it out and will pay at the last minute?

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 20:21:26

except Biwi gets to be accommodated ad she needs lunch love

Kneecapping too good, Hully. Too quick.

I'm off Outside to the Drinks Fridge in The Shed for some tonic. I may be some time...

GetOeuf Wed 27-Mar-13 20:24:34

Showy is that you?

Aaaaaaaaaages BIWI that's shit.

We went under partly because of 9/11 but mainly cause some fucker went bust on us with 40k worth of stock on our shop floor.

We managed to get enough back to pay people we owed by visiting him in his fucking mansion that he got to keep, and being very charming.

Aaaaaaaaaw. Even.

MintyyAeroEgg Wed 27-Mar-13 20:25:01

Poo pants! I can't stay and skip and frolic and whinge on this thread because I am supposed to be packing for our Easter short break BUT I bloody want to come to the Lunnun piss up this time, thank you. So please do not make it the first or second weekend in June thanks.

And sorry to hear about that bastard client Biwi sad

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 20:27:42

where you going minty?

sorreee been distracted ny final installation tinternet phone and tv. its been over a year! ds has commandeered the laptop...so still on shit phone for mn. i think hully is right . better told on that thread. was feb before last?

So sorry biwi, hope something comes along, and your client pays up in the meantime and falls down a manhole

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 20:31:32

you deffo have to tell it or link now, make Biwi laugh

LadyBeaEGGleEyes Wed 27-Mar-13 20:32:22

Hey Usual, you're back [happy face] grin.
DS's first serious girlfriend is here so I put in an effort and tidied up and we ate at the table.
They're 17 and 16 and I know they have the sex.
Under my roof.
Shoot me now.

BOEUF Wed 27-Mar-13 20:34:16

I'd have left the table a mess. Take no chances with the sex and all that.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 20:36:38

aw good for them <nostalgic>

Right. I have Tanqueray. All is well now grin

Perhaps I could move into professional gin drinking? I'd be good at that. <hopeful face>

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 20:37:43

I cant remember the sex, but it makes me happy to think someone
somewhere is at it

BOEUF Wed 27-Mar-13 20:38:24

Dd1 tried to make me let her watch telly in her bedroom with her boyfriend because "the batteries are gone in the remote downstairs, and it would just be easier" hmm. Yeah, EASIER TO GET PREGNANT. I don't think so, love.

IvorHughJangova Wed 27-Mar-13 20:38:37

I don't even know if this is still going on as my arsing phone is broke and I can't bloody scroll or refresh or nuffink. But I would like to second Hully's motion that The Po are fucking with the MN Culture of Lark. I stopped posting on here at Christmas because I got so completely bloody fed up with The Offended being Offended by absolutely fucking everything, all of the time. And especially those who will take an innocuous remark and then accuse posters of being 'ist' about a group/race/gender etc. Frankly it's foul on some levels and utterly boring as arse on others.

I dipped a tentative toe back in recently but I hardly post at all. I can't be bothered with it. Every bloody thread gets derailed. Everywhere everywhere people are Offended.

It is boring and it used to be fun sad

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 20:39:34

My table is always a mess, it's full of DPs important bits of paper.

My children don't have sex , well DD must have, because she has children, but I don't like to think about that.<cringes>

BOEUF Wed 27-Mar-13 20:40:17

We've frozen them out on this thread, IvorHughJangover. Hair of the dog?

GetOeuf Wed 27-Mar-13 20:43:30

Poor mintyy was deleted for calling an estate agent criminally incompetent over a photo of room corners.

That was bloody odd.

EostreChaoticResurrEggtion Wed 27-Mar-13 20:43:50

I have a table...somewhere. It got lost under the pile of junk that needs sorting.

GetOeuf Wed 27-Mar-13 20:44:26

Poor mintyy was deleted for calling an estate agent criminally incompetent over a photo of room corners.

That was bloody odd.

GetOeuf Wed 27-Mar-13 20:46:03

Poor dd has had me haranguing her 'don't you bloody well DARE get pregnant' at her since the dawn of time.

Chubfuddler Wed 27-Mar-13 20:46:27

I was in the office until 7.20 and worst of all I have no sodding wine. I hate you all especially pag and her Martinis in sunny climes.

Do you think if I ring domino pizza and ask them to put the pizza in the bin but bring a bottle of wine from the offie next door they might oblige?

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 20:47:14

My DD is nearly 30. so she is allowed to have kids grin

Tee2072 Wed 27-Mar-13 20:48:43

BIWI that's total and absolute crap and I totally feel for you. I freelance and haven't had a client since before Christmas. Luckily my husband has a good job so we're not dependant on me but we are scraping by right now even with his salary.

And it's quarter to nine and I think I have to get my tired achy body to bed.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 20:48:52

they will chub

I'm worried about pag, I think she's had one mojitocaphaha too many and gone overboard

Chubfuddler Wed 27-Mar-13 20:49:09

How much do they owe you BIWI? Can't you do it through moneyclaimonline?

Chubfuddler Wed 27-Mar-13 20:49:42

Excellent. Will ring now.

BOEUF Wed 27-Mar-13 20:49:54

It's got to be worth a go, Chubfuddler.

I'm not jealous of Pag. Evolution is a tricky bastard. What if the woodworm learn how to use snorkels? She'll be 300 miles out to sea with a diminishing supply of martini, no Internet and only her husband to talk to.

RustyBear Wed 27-Mar-13 20:51:29

Didn't mintyy say she was going to report the thread herself? Though I thought all it might have needed (and then only if you were being ultra-cautious) was a swift edit of the title.

LadyBeaEGGleEyes Wed 27-Mar-13 20:53:57

They've been together 5 months and they are IN LOVE, seriously in love.[bless].
There's so many threads about would you allow it under your roof, but I'm his mum, I've taught him to respect women and have nagged his head off about condoms.
What else can you do unless they end up shagging in a field somewhere.(Highlands, there's a lot of open spaces).

MintyyAeroEgg Wed 27-Mar-13 20:55:31

Aww thank you for caring about my EA thread Getoeuf. It was reported by a couple of po-sters (see what I did there?) on it before me. I reported it myself in a "fuck you" kinda way.

Am going to Spain, Hully. Nowhere near as glam as Pag's hideout, but the forecast for the weekend is 23 degrees so am happy smile.

Chubfuddler Wed 27-Mar-13 20:58:01

They seemed to think I was joking.

See this is why I like center parcs. The take away sells wine.

BOEUF Wed 27-Mar-13 21:01:51

LadyB, they'll be brave to attempt that in these temperatures!

right i found it 'to think youve gorne and done it again ipoat' but i cant do links on crappy phone...could someone do it for me?

LadyBeaEGGleEyes Wed 27-Mar-13 21:02:44

I've just watched a Scottish weather forecast.
Do you know on this date last year it was 20 degrees here?
Tonight it's hanging on zero.
WTF is that about?

Chub. My local taxi company come to your house, collect your cash, buy your wine and come back with your change.

Chubfuddler Wed 27-Mar-13 21:06:55

Right well I am moving to there then. Where do you live? Can I stay with you?

BOEUF Wed 27-Mar-13 21:11:40
BOEUF Wed 27-Mar-13 21:12:14

What was your name on it, so I can F3/equivalent?

Chub - I don't think so, as they are disputing our claim. We have to go to court to prove our case. But thanks for the suggestion.

Chub. Sure.

Mind you Hully tends to hog the sofa and dribble in your ear.

See people don't plan where they life properly.

If I walk seven minutes in one direction it's all open fields and woodland. 5 minutes the other way I have, decent shop, chip shop, Chinese take away, chemist and pub.


GetOeuf Wed 27-Mar-13 21:18:21

Takeaways round here bring bottles of wine or beers.

This is why I will never not live in a city.

Our take aways do this and I life 20 yards up the arsehole of nowhere.

Chubfuddler Wed 27-Mar-13 21:20:24

You can still start proceedings like that though. And if its a claim for less than 5,000 you won't have to pay their costs in the unlikely event you lose. Small claims hearings aren't scary, if you've got enough nouse to draft a contract you could manage it.

If you want some help PM me. I'll draft the particulars for you if you like. You'd have to pay the issue fee but that's not a lot.

BOEUF Wed 27-Mar-13 21:27:46

Aw, Chub, that's lovely of you. Yes, BIWI, do that- Chub knows her onions.

KatieMiddleton Wed 27-Mar-13 21:29:23

There's a booze online place that delivers to SW London because it's nappy valley and we're all on the edge of a breakdown

I haven't used them because when I called it was too early. Wtf is that about? Call at 5.30pm, then 40 mins to deliver is surely fine isn't it? Isn't it?! ISN'T IT?!!!!


Any hoo I'm just popping in the look supportive <supportive face> and stand with you <stands> but it is ds's birthday and I have to do stuff.

EostreChaoticResurrEggtion Wed 27-Mar-13 21:29:39

What was your name on it, so I can F3/equivalent?

Same as it is now.

Chub that's really kind of you. I'll have a look at the site and will PM you tomorrow.

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 21:31:28

fucking hell, I've only been back a few hours and I've upset the apple cart again

LadyBeaEGGleEyes Wed 27-Mar-13 21:33:23

Who, Usual?

BOEUF Wed 27-Mar-13 21:35:22

It sounded pretty traumatic actually. What a cock angry

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 21:35:25

nothing important LBE grin

Do not MN when drunk.

EostreChaoticResurrEggtion Wed 27-Mar-13 21:38:14

Agree totally BOEUF.

Usual, c'mon tell grin

LadyBeaEGGleEyes Wed 27-Mar-13 21:43:07

I know now, Usual, i noticed it earlier grin
A thread from someone that does all these things and more.
She's got a few fans though.

IamtheZombie Wed 27-Mar-13 21:45:44

Usual, don't you DARE disappear again. You don't really want Zombie coming for you, do you?

Hmmm? Do you??

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 21:45:59

should anyone retain any interest, the Love Tap denoument begins on page 33 of the linked thread

<devoted skim reading to save others' time>

yes it is. go to page 34. read my shame. this all took place at Shoreditch House.

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 21:48:55

I can't really see straight ATM.

I'm loving wankered Wednesday though.

oh BIWI. you don't deserve that sad

talking of which, I'm drinking red because of you lot talking about drink and it's all we've got.

another cunning get the fuckers is to file for their bankrupcy. i have found this often concentrates the minds of folk. again dead simple.

EostreChaoticResurrEggtion Wed 27-Mar-13 21:50:45

Madame, I've read it. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 21:52:26

Not bad going on a first date to get pissed, cry, snog them and then biff them round the chops

wah hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 21:53:39

ok I'm orf

wankered weds is sliding towards thankless thurs

god it was ghastly...

EostreChaoticResurrEggtion Wed 27-Mar-13 21:58:02

I'd probably cringe too grin I still say you've nothing to be ashamed of.

Going myself, will read some more of my book.

BOEUF Wed 27-Mar-13 22:06:09

I'm slumping into a DVD boxset. Adieu, mes larkeurs de funne.

RandallPinkFloyd Wed 27-Mar-13 22:11:33

Damn it, I go out for the day and miss all this <<waves hand around in sweeping gesture>>

Can anyone be arsed to summarise at all?

I'm presuming it was decided that larking is fine as long as no one gets hurt and if you're a miserable twat you should sod off. Yes?

So all's right with the world now, and if I read down Active Convos there will be no need for eye rolling or sad sighs?

Wonderful grin

thank my dear. just about over it now.

FunnysInLaJardin Wed 27-Mar-13 22:24:05

OK I have not read TFT because I have a night owl/day napping 3yo. So lets hope it is all sorted. Off TRTFT

EggsitPursuedByAChocolateBunny Wed 27-Mar-13 22:50:10

Off to bed to be up with the larks.

FunnysInLaJardin Wed 27-Mar-13 23:00:26

usual you are back? Hooray

TheNebulousBoojum Wed 27-Mar-13 23:00:41


Oh for God's sake ginhag, that's all I bloody need.

DS to discover that there are fucking spoons.
He's 18, he'd make it a personal quest to source one. grin
Just keep that sort of information to yourself please.

And Tee? I was going to have a serious clean before Christmas, but DD threw glitter into the spiderwebs and called them decorations. I liked her problem-solving approach.

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 23:26:31

So you have been having a party while I've been gone?

I sat down to watch Masterchef. Then I went to the loo. By the time I came back, one of them had the iPad, one of them had the computer and the third one had the remote.

I have had to read a book. A real paper one with pages shock

Now I will read this thread and see all the fun you had without me <sniffles>

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 23:33:34

I have some comments:

1. You are all pissed

2. I am avoiding the thread usual is talking about because last time I came across the op I lost the run of myself a bit blush and may have said more than I should have. And btw, drunk is the best way to mumnset.

3. I'm sorry, BIWI, sometimes life is shit, but yay for Chub

4. I have bookmarked Madame's fred to peruse at my leisure (when I'm not being yelled at that it's nearly midnight and I should go to bed).

5. Randal, that wasn't the conclusion. The conclusion seems to be that mnhq can't do much about the miserable gits and if freds are reported then they have to be dealt with hmm

Is that about it?

Bloody hell, that's mnetting on speed. I don't like it.

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 23:36:11

And I've just read the thread usual is talking about and I've seen some of my un favourite mumsnetters on it, one in particular hmm.


<wishes had gone to bed earlier>

LadyBeaEGGleEyes Wed 27-Mar-13 23:38:12

It's the epitome of po thread, innit Maryz?

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 23:40:14

It is.

Do you think they could lock it and keep all the posters there.

They could apply to get out (I think usual should be allowed out, and I saw Honey there looking a tad out of place) and give proof of non-po-ness.

TheNebulousBoojum Wed 27-Mar-13 23:42:48

Locked in?
I shal dig my way out with a jam spoon.

Tortoiseontheeggshell Wed 27-Mar-13 23:54:16

Randall, yes, exactly right. Except that actually no, not really. In that Helen fucked off had to leave without answering the question.

This is one of those times when I am so sad about being in a different time zone to you lot. Wankered Thursday Morning doesn't have the same ring to it.

RandallPinkFloyd Wed 27-Mar-13 23:58:23

Balls sad

If the thread you are talking about is the one I think it is I only got a quarter of the way through it. It made my heart sad.

Chubfuddler Thu 28-Mar-13 04:14:28

Is it the thread in AIBU?

Bloody hell. I knew MN. Was better since I hid AIBU. it's like there's a whole other MN and everyone in it hates MN, themselves and each other.

Well now.
I put this thread on my "watching" list to read when I got home from work.

Somehow, I then managed to drink far too many vodka and blueberry red bulls classy, no? eat a pizza and fall asleep.

So.....are we all in agreement? There are too many professionally miserable people here, and we can all post what we like?
And anyone reporting these things as trolling or goading or whatever the fuck else will swiftly be directed to the sparkly place/be told to get a grip?

And......usual is back grin
Thank god for that, I missed you usual

I have noticed that for every normal, happy, chatty, unoffended poster that leaves, 10 miserable, offended, stupid people arrive.

So I have decided that no one else can leave. Please. I will cry if I have to trawl through active convos whilst trying to avoid doing any work and it's all dull as dishwater. And all about parenting FFS.

Not even in a funny way, in a dreadfully earnest, I know so much more than you ever will way.

I already know I am a slapdash, neglectful parent who fed her children cake, left them in a nursery for hours every day, makes them do loads of activities because I don't want to interact with them, put the wrong things in their lunchboxes.

I don't care. 2 of them are taller than me now. They survived. They are still surviving. I don't want to spend my day reading what I did wrong.
I much prefer stolen spoons, vans parked in the wrong place and certain people drunkenly waiting for a shag from the Internet man.

Please. Don't leave, anyone else. I will cry.

Would that be the one where I threatened to piss on people's chips if they didn't stop trying to pick a fight with regulars?

I've told you before. You have to word hour posts carefully to get the post to stay. wink

Oh no it's not that thread. Is it the one where I cried?

When did you cry weasel?

Was a real cry? Or a PA cry, or a spoof cry????

Did anyone report you for it?


I wept as all aound me people sucked the very essence of mumsnet to a withered husk sad

I know how you feel weasel

I could weep at that too sad

Tis very sad.

Tee2072 Thu 28-Mar-13 07:21:05

Okay I've caught up again and the only thing I can really add to the conversation is that one year our local Indian gave us a free bottle of wine at Christmas. It was at that point I decided I should probably cook more...

Our local Chinese gave us a bottle of wine last year.
And a Christmas card with our actual names written in it.
Mine, DH, ds1, dd, and ds2 blush

I Realised then they may see a bit too much of us.......

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Thu 28-Mar-13 07:38:57

I have never had a card from a takeaway establishment.


Tee2072 Thu 28-Mar-13 07:43:00

There was a card, but it didn't have our names. Well, maybe our surname, I don't remember any more.

This was years ago, when we were DINKS and a lot more frivolous with our money!

Hullygully Thu 28-Mar-13 08:20:47

Hey snatch!

The bulk of my christmas cards are from estate agents, accountants and takeaway establishments.


Where is the joyless thread?

RandallPinkFloyd Thu 28-Mar-13 08:35:34

It's in AIBU Hully. It's pretty easy to spot, just look or a title that makes your eyes roll into the back of your head.

Weasel I'm intrigued by the other one you mentioned, where would one look for that one? grin

GetOeuf Thu 28-Mar-13 08:36:28

What thread are you all on about?

I am going away this weekend and just looking for hotels. Shall I go to Btistol, Cardiff or London?

am being fick, could someone pm me to point way?

BOEUF Thu 28-Mar-13 08:39:52

Liverpool, GetOeuf.

RandallPinkFloyd Thu 28-Mar-13 08:40:37

Cardiff is lovely, highly recommend it (and as a north walean technically I'm supposed to hate it). I've never been to Bristol but some friends went there not long ago and absolutely loved it.

Don't go to that London. It's full of pick pockets and scoundrels.

GetOeuf Thu 28-Mar-13 08:43:44

I love Liverpool. But it's too far to drive to really. Want somewhere just over an hour away really.

Bristol and Cardiff are great and the only trouble with London is that as I go there for work all the time it has lost its glamour. I remember when I first started working there I was all 'I will visit art galleries and cathedrals in my lunch hour'. I am now like every other commuter snarling at the tourists.

Hullygully Thu 28-Mar-13 08:45:14

Every thread in aibu makes me eyeroll

I need specifics

GetOeuf Thu 28-Mar-13 08:45:45

I work right next door to Westminster Abbey and have never once been in. Big Ben rings now as I walk past and I don't even look up. When it first rang I looked up wide eyed all excited grin

GetOeuf Thu 28-Mar-13 08:46:40

I still can't see that thread.

I want to find it and get all Mary Whitehouse outraged and call everyone a cunty cuntola.

BOEUF Thu 28-Mar-13 08:48:42

The Liver Buildings have a bigger clock than Big Ben <sniff>

Chubfuddler Thu 28-Mar-13 08:49:16

I think it's the one about AIBUposts that should be banned.

GetOeuf Thu 28-Mar-13 08:50:38

I read that as bigger cock.

Hullygully Thu 28-Mar-13 08:50:48

oh dear oh dear oh dear

Big Ben is a bell and hence has no clock

However, Big Ben the bell and the tower it inhabits which does bear a clock, may indeed sport a smaller clock than the Liver one.

BOEUF Thu 28-Mar-13 08:52:49

It does. And obviously, people decide on their weekend break destinations according to clock size. Or similar.

Hullygully Thu 28-Mar-13 08:55:20

I know I do.

I did once go on a mass honeymoon tour of Poland on which one of the guests was obsessed with bells and not only carried his own set of handbells (which we all had to play), but measured and photgraphed large bells in Warsaw, Krakow, Zakopane...

Hullygully Thu 28-Mar-13 08:55:47

It wasn't MY honeymoon, I feel the need to add

I always said I would take my DCs to all that cultural stuff. You know, art galleries, museums, all those fun places.

We went to the National gallery when they were 5&6. We were asked to leave because ds1 wanted to duck under the ropes and touch everything.

I have suggested other things, dd said to me once, mum we live in london. Those places are for tourists.
I gave up at that point. They do not want to be educated. What can I do?

Hullygully Thu 28-Mar-13 08:59:26

I have friends that take their children to Epidavros in Greece for three hour plays in GREEK and poetry recitals and ancient ballet-dance affairs. They often ask if we'd like to go too (when we are all out there) and I have to explain that the dc would rather eat their own eyeballs.

They think we are terribly unclassy, tho would never say so.

RandallPinkFloyd Thu 28-Mar-13 09:00:05

I love Liverpool, I only live an hour away so go there quite often.

Also very jealous that my dad lived there when he first left home in the early 60's envy

My SIL decides where to go for the weekend by looking at how many old buildings she can see, and tell her DCs the history of each brick.
And then photograph them and come home and tell each member of our family about the history of every brick. And show us a slide show.

Can you imagine how much fun that is? Can you?

I tend to go for the place that has the most alcohol.
We rarely travel together.

GetOeuf Thu 28-Mar-13 09:01:31

I did all that stuff with dd when she was younger. I remember syaing 'do you remember when we went to the National portrait Gallery and we spent ages looking at all the detail of the paintings of the fabrics' (she was about 7 and seemed to really love it).

She said 'oh no I can't remember that at all, I do remember seeing something on telly about it'

So. Don't bother taking them anywhere. Eat doughnuts and make them watch BBC4.

GetOeuf Thu 28-Mar-13 09:05:09

Oh and I remember taking her to Lundy Island to look at the puffins. There is only so much you can do on Lundy island with a 6 year old. It is all right if you go with adults - you just get pissed on the boat on the way, even more pissed in the island pub and then sleep on the way home. She looked at me beseechingly and said 'can we go home now, but NOT on that boat'

No fucking puffins or seals either. Just seagulls, and we had enough of them at 'ome.

TheNebulousBoojum Thu 28-Mar-13 09:12:06

You do realise that Hully is in a corner somewhere, sobbing bitterly about how her friends never listen to her desires, never meet her needs?

She wanted a serious debate about this, she said so in her OP.

And what are you lot waffling on about?
Puffins, kulchr and unappreciative children. And getting pissed.
Really, have you no heart? sad

I think the serious debate went out the window when wankered wednesday started tbh.

TheNebulousBoojum Thu 28-Mar-13 09:15:32

But it's Thursday now.
Thoughtful Thursday
Thinking About Serious Debate Thursday
Leading into Frivolous Friday.

Which one?

The joyless fun suckers thread of pointless whining and bitching?

Or the lets make a point in an earnest PO whilst pretending to give a shit about spurty fanjos thread?

Oops my post just fucked up thoughtful Thursday

Hullygully Thu 28-Mar-13 09:18:15

Oh I'm used to it nebulous <martyr>

I do like Thoughtful Thursday

Harking back to pre wankered weds briefly, who are the regs which Helen said had left?

I know there are fewer of us around, but early onset precludes detail

BOEUF Thu 28-Mar-13 09:19:57

All the ones you've forgotten, hulls. There's loads of them.

Hullygully Thu 28-Mar-13 09:27:45


Oh Ffs when will I remember that when wearing skinnies socks go on FIRST!

My days ruined now.

You can't ignore Hully. She's like a brain worm that's always there and you love.

RandallPinkFloyd Thu 28-Mar-13 09:31:09

Definitely the spurty fanjo one!

Go into the search box and for today and yesterday type the word cum Randall

GetOeuf Thu 28-Mar-13 09:33:16

God that thread was full of tiresome twats. Who was that fucker who was being snidey to usual? Where did she spring from?

RandallPinkFloyd Thu 28-Mar-13 09:41:45

Blimey weasel. I don't know what to say.

OhChristHasRisenFENTON Thu 28-Mar-13 09:41:58

Now that is the sort of thing I would feel like reporting, - the way that poster came in a 'addressed' usual was just plain nasty, like there was a real beef between them or something.

I want the fun back here to.

I do not want to read about the nature, frequency, volume or velocity of anyone's c (I cannot say it)

OhChristHasRisenFENTON Thu 28-Mar-13 09:42:49

I want to be able to spell again too.


Hullygully Thu 28-Mar-13 09:42:57

yes, a real old pop at usual that was quite inexplicable

GetOeuf Thu 28-Mar-13 09:44:38

It's not nice, I would hate that to have happened to me. To be sniped at repeatedly - really bloody horrible.

Hullygully Thu 28-Mar-13 09:46:20

I've had it, it's astonishingly dull and irritating

GetOeuf Thu 28-Mar-13 09:49:36

That would give me the creeps. Miserable minded fuckers.

usualsuspect Thu 28-Mar-13 09:51:00

I think I may have upset that poster in the past TBH. grin

Oh well, fuck 'em.

<nurses hangover>

GetOeuf Thu 28-Mar-13 09:58:51

Well, we have all upset people. No need to act like a creepy bastard and respond to everything you say with a bitchy comment.

<hands over glass of resolve>

usualsuspect Thu 28-Mar-13 10:03:07

True, GetOeuf, It does get on my wick.

I can't remember if I have crossed her before or not, but I assumed I had. Not seen her around for ages.

She obviously doesn't like me though.

Tee2072 Thu 28-Mar-13 10:05:53

Which AIBU thread with cum in it? Because last I looked there were 2, both of which I started to post on and then became bored.

Fact: Most useful sentence in the Joss Whedon Lexicon is 'Bored now.'
Fact: Second most useful sentence in the Joss Whedon Lexicon is 'I'll be in my bunk.'

If we had signatures, the above is what mine would say.

How's that for Thoughtful Thursday?

Obviously my thread on that word is excellent. And thankfully started before the horrifying one.

And I'm rather relieved that Tee got bored, she kept posting the C word

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Thu 28-Mar-13 10:12:30

Love "Bored now." If only saying it triggered the flaying people alive power though...

Tee2072 Thu 28-Mar-13 10:17:03



OhChristHasRisenFENTON Thu 28-Mar-13 10:18:09

I told DS1 to use 'Bored Now' on the thug at school who tries to trip him up on his way into class every day. We practised on his tone on the way to school and I'm confident he has it just right.

I hope it works for him.

Tee2072 Thu 28-Mar-13 10:19:57

I hope it does too, Fenton. With just the right tone, it's very effective.

It helps, as well, if you happen to be wearing all black leather with red lace trim and are a vampire.

I couldn't post in that gushing cum one.

I couldn't even read it all tbh.

Did it all kick off?

Did someone post what I was thinking, that the OP had not been "cumming" (I hate that word) but pissing herself? For the last 16 years or whatever it was?

And excuse me usual I welcomed you back ^ up there somewhere ^
I said I missed you and everything.
And you don't even throw me a wave?

I may report that. For hurting my feelings or done other shit I can make up.


I have done no work again so far this morning. I have eaten half a smarties Easter bunny. It was very nice.

Maryz Thu 28-Mar-13 10:30:43

getorf, the fucker who was being snidey to usual has form, I tell ya, form. She also doesn't like me much. That thread is the dementor of threads, isn't it?

I don't know what is more worrying about the other one - the fact that it might be made up shock, or not made up shockshock or the fact that normal adults speak using words as in the op shockshockshock[horror] (we need a horror emoticon). AF is being attacked on it too.

usualsuspect Thu 28-Mar-13 10:32:29

Hello Tantrums, sorry I was a bit drunk last night I may have missed your post.


GetOeuf Thu 28-Mar-13 10:33:15

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

S'alright usual

I forgive you grin

Maryz Thu 28-Mar-13 10:37:38

You must have Getorf? Though the last few threads I was on with her (a while ago now) were all deleted. They were horrible judgemental bitter threads.

Do you not remember the frozen brocolli thread?

GetOeuf Thu 28-Mar-13 10:41:59

Christ she has been here ages. I probably have come across her but can't remember her name (should be more dedicated to that spreadsheet).

Maryz Thu 28-Mar-13 10:45:13

I have just giggled through the second half of the broccoli thread, which is utterly bizarre (and Tantrums and Honey are on there, so what else could it be grin).

I have realised with hindsight that there are a couple of questionable sockpuppets and trolls posters on it, which makes me question the veracity of other posters.

And sm pops up with a few pokes too.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OhChristHasRisenFENTON Thu 28-Mar-13 10:55:00

I have just lol' d at sm's random post about liking 'it's all gone Pete Tong' but her dismay at it not sounding right in a scottish accent. grin

and LineRunner's joke:-

So this termite walks into a bar, and says, Is the bar tender here?

And the bartender says, No, it's been previously frozen and never recovers its full turgidity upon consumption.

usualsuspect Thu 28-Mar-13 10:58:47

I am back, Beer.

I have read loads of books on my kindle, so the break was all good.

But it's still a bit shit on here TBH.

Tee2072 Thu 28-Mar-13 11:01:26

Okay. The Mother Arrives day after tomorrow so I really need to get off my ass and get back to the cleaning.

Do link me if anything interesting happens. I seem to miss most of it.

nenevomito Thu 28-Mar-13 11:02:17

Wotcha Fenton. Was wondering where you were loitering these days grin

Maryz Thu 28-Mar-13 11:02:39

Usual, why does mm not like you? She popped at me the last time I saw her, but the thread has been deleted so I don't know why (I have a feeling it might have been drug related confused), but I can't see why she doesn't like you.

It's very like the sm attack on Buppers last week. Odd.

Maryz Thu 28-Mar-13 11:03:51

Tee, what's the point in having your mother to stay if you don't leave things for her to clean? My mum used to arrive and take out the ironing board. And then start dusting. It was great (but then I'm a slattern so was never embarrassed by the dust she found on top of the picture rails).

OhChristHasRisenFENTON Thu 28-Mar-13 11:09:04

Hello babyheave my lovely.

I have fallen back into loitering here, and will return to just Fenton after the chocolate holidays (just incase you want to stalk me or anything). grin

TheNebulousBoojum Thu 28-Mar-13 11:09:49

My mother doesn't dust her own home, no chance of her doing mine. She does, however, wash up whenever she visits. Visitors ought to be a source of happiness.

I missed this thread. How did I miss it?

I would like to say two things.

First, I reported the "criminally incompetent estate agent" thread. Not because I'm a joyless dementor, but to bring it to MN attention as to accuse an estate agent of "criminal incompetence" and link to the actual estate agent could potentially get MNHQ into a pile of shit. That's the only reason. If the thread title had been "look at these shit photos" I would not have reported. But estate agents are governed by the Property Misdescriptions Act and the Estate Agent Act and to call an estate agent criminally incompetent implies a liability under those acts and others. I'm not joyless. I was actually trying to do the right thing.

Secondly, my thread. I, and others, ended up being really upset by some of the posters on it. I was misquoted, I was told I had said things I didn't say (in about the 2nd post) I was somehow twisted into being an advocate of not putting children in car seats. That really was never my intention with the thread and it was horrible.

Thirdly (because I never know when to shut up) sometimes I come across as blunt. I would like to make, here and now, a blanket apology for that. It isn't my intention, it's not hiding behind a screen, I'm like this in real life, I call a spade a spade and I don't do waffle.

<bows out>

TuftyFinch Thu 28-Mar-13 11:27:50

I think people should only tell the actual, exact truth. All the time. No jokes either. Just facts.
All teaspoons manufacryred from 2015 have to be 5ml. If you use a spoon that is over/under 5ml you will go to the prison.

That broccoli thread was bizarre.

and I had a shed load of deletions....and I didn't call her a cunt once. I didn't, honestly. Even though she quite clearly was.

nenevomito Thu 28-Mar-13 11:44:34

Wouldn't dream of it Fenton. I never stalk anyone. <coughs>

I'm here but not much. Mostly as a lot of threads are just meh, but also as I'm back at work and it cuts into MNing time like you wouldn't believe.

I had an attack of the POs on that tvt thread but caught myself quite well.

Hullygully Thu 28-Mar-13 11:57:06

Why didn't you say so on the thread freddie?

Hullygully Thu 28-Mar-13 11:57:41

I have started a thread about Your Rules

because it epitomises the po attitude.

Maryz Thu 28-Mar-13 11:58:06

Don't worry about it Freddies - your thread was hijacked. If it's any consolation you are nowhere near my shit list (so either you can't be that blunt or I like blunt people, I suspect the latter).

However, my shit list is filling up rapidly sad

My good'uns list is filling quicker though, which is a good thing.

but you know sometimes I do want to be serious? how do we manage that without being all Po?

Hullygully Thu 28-Mar-13 12:00:59

I am often serious, but I don't think I am po. They don't have to be bedfellows.

Po is an attitude and outlook rather than a seriousness, no?

TuftyFinch Thu 28-Mar-13 12:04:00

PO is really just pissing on someone's chips isn't it? Being serious isn't pissi g on chips.

God mustn't overthink this.

I am still cross at getting my wrist slapped by MNHQ. I don"t think they have engaged properly. My silly little thread was neither trolling nor goady and completely true. wtf is the problem with some people that they think an adult having a glass or two of a rare afternoon means SS need to called BECAUSE THERE COULD BE NO OTHER INTERPRETATION apart alcoholism or child neglect. Yes I said I was going to post a lighthearted AIBU to see if the Pos got worked up because I seriously didnt believe they would. Its like fucking Stepford Wives around here. with a good dash of the Salem Witch hunts. Biddy Hully is a witch. Biddy Defarage boils frogs and small babies! Biddy Jardin is guilty of Vanity and Pride! Trolls the lot! Burn em! Don't wind up up the pointy sticked ones! placate and appease? why not just a bloody good fight and tease the piss out of them?


Haven't they banned ending a sentence with No? yet? it will come.

It feels like MN is a microcosm of society...everybody stamping on the fingers of those lower on the ladder than them...demonising of the the poor...standing by while meaner and meaner minds are allowed to control the tone of the public debate, and not just the tone, but the form and content.

Maryz Thu 28-Mar-13 12:16:43

Yes, exactly Madame <wibbles>

I can be serious on lots of threads. But generally, not on lighthearted chat threads, that's the difference.

you know if we substituted a particular race for the word benefit claimants I think we would be all shocked at how the abusive the level of societal dialogue ha become.

I feel unburdened now.

Hully. I did say so on the thread. More than once. And I pmd the op to explain as well. What more could I have done? And now I'm pa being accused on this thread and others of being joyless and that's not true

Trills Thu 28-Mar-13 12:28:48

Caipirinas are made of horrible booze.

Have Caipirovska instead - same idea but made with vodka.

GetOeuf Thu 28-Mar-13 12:30:55

I understand the sentiment behind what you did freddie, but I think I object more to the sense of impending doom and the language used towards mintty - what are you thinking, what a stupid thread title, this is libellous! (by more than one person, not necessrily thinking of you). It is incredibly unlikely that anything would have come of it, all that needed to be said was lightheartedly a suggestion that the thread title should be changed to 'cor look at these crap pics' like many other threads on MN about terrible estate agent particulars over the years. It was the sanctimonious tone that the thread took on. I completely understand why mintyy was pissed off.

freddie your thread was a perfect example of the madness here at the moment.
It even said lighthearted in the title, you did a little disclaimer in the OP to make sure people understood it.

That's the problem. People are things like that and go out of their way to ruin it. It's not like they could have thought it was anything but a laugh.
It was nigh on impossible to misunderstand the tone of the thread.

It just goes to show that there are too many people that clearly can't stand people having a laugh. If you go out of your to deliberatley post things like what was posted on your thread, absolutely designed to make people who were clearly just having a laugh feel guilty for being happy, then I can only conclude they are miserable, selfish twats. Who want everyone to feel as miserable as they do.

Hullygully Thu 28-Mar-13 12:35:15

Oh sorry Freddie, I never saw the thread.

Chubfuddler Thu 28-Mar-13 12:40:47

I am so stressed at work this morning I could cry. I just ate the whole quality street Easter egg my boss gave me. It didn't help. I am having WINE tonight.

You cannot go around on an open forum alleging criminal incompetence. If I offended anyone by saying that then I'm sorry. But it's a fact. You can't. Well you can. If you like. But mnhq is legally liable for what you post. And at the end of the day all I did was report. He didn't have to delete anything if they didn't want to.

And again if anyone thought I was sanctimonious or being nasty I apologise. I work in this area and I am well aware of how careful mnhq have to be and I was really really just trying to do the right thing.

I won't make that mistake again.

Tee2072 Thu 28-Mar-13 12:41:50

I cannot have my 74 year old mother cleaning my house. She will do a lot of cooking however! And, more importantly, Small Boy wrangling.

Won't someone think of the POs? (It had to be said.)

Chubfuddler Thu 28-Mar-13 12:42:56

Oh thread has gone serious.

<does serious and sympathetic face reserved for clients>

Chubfuddler Thu 28-Mar-13 12:43:49

My 67 year old mother is my cleaner.

Trills Thu 28-Mar-13 12:44:43

The Post Offices? Yes, I hear lots of rural ones are being shut down.

chub... it won't last for long! that's the essence of a great thread though, for me, its like a proper conversation...lots of different tones and thoughts and moving on. not sitting at the table banging your glass every five minutes to repeat your rather dull but arsey opinion. or is that being too sooky?

FunnysInLaJardin Thu 28-Mar-13 12:45:43

oh don't be cross Madame. Tis the second of such slaps for me. The first time it was grossly unfair and I got an apology, but this time tbh I read it as a 'please stop playing about as the po are inundating us with emails, sob'.

We only got targetted by the reporters as we stick our heads above the parapet

Tee2072 Thu 28-Mar-13 12:47:06

Freddie I agree with you. People do seem to forget, a lot, that MN is completely searchable by Google, except for OTBT. And they forget that OTBT isn't hidden, just not indexed on Google.

And once it's on the 'net, it's never really deleted.

Maryz Thu 28-Mar-13 12:50:09

I have a theory.

Of course it is only a theory, and I may be wrong.

I believe one of our more, ahem, creative trolls is back atm starting threads all over the place. You know, the usual misery, misunderstandings, chuck in a hint of teenage angst and a smidgeon of being treated badly as a child.

I think that when a spate of that type of thread is being started all over the place, there is a corresponding rise in the number of reports of other threads to mnhq. So that they get so overloaded with reports they can't keep up and find the inventive, creative writing threads.

Someone, somewhere is bored atm.

Tee2072 Thu 28-Mar-13 12:51:32

Well, the schools are going on holiday. We've been off all week. Things always go nuts during school breaks.

So that ties in with your theory, Maryz.

Or it could be a demon, a dancing demon, no something isn't right there...

LaQueen Thu 28-Mar-13 12:52:34

Even if we all handed in our sense of humours at MNHQ check-in desk, and donned beige polyester tabards and matching easi-fit trousers...how would that help The Po hmm

It wouldn't...because you can't help, or cure The Po. You can't infact, do anything to make them happier, more content and less Po-like.

Pretty soon, they'd be jealous that others looked more fabby in their easi-fit trousres...or that someone else had a naicer shade of beige for their polyester tabard.

And, their petty, back-biting, resentful bilge would just start up all over again. And The Po will have won, and MN will be lost.

But if they the reporters really thought we were trolls why not search on nickname for posting history? five blinking years here? or maybe all my posts are troll like? Lazy self-righteous loons.

GetOeuf Thu 28-Mar-13 12:54:38

Never saw that thread though freddie.

Anyway I am sorry you're feeling beleaguered - I wasn't aiming my snippiness re mintyy's thread at you rather than a load of people and the general tone of the thing (and the fact that MNHQ could have just changed the title and the bloody thread could have stayed anyway but they didn't)

BOEUF Thu 28-Mar-13 12:55:10

There is an extended orgy going on at the moment, I totally agree. All still up. A risible one active just now.

Maryz Thu 28-Mar-13 12:55:37

They didn't Madame.

They are "hate the regs reporters". There's loads of them. They lurk, because they daren't post because the regulars will bully them. So they report as much as they can.

As long as MNHQ don't take the lead in the MN beige tabards and toning easislacks Thats fine. Its when I see a quote for bulk tabards on their desk I get worried.

FunnysInLaJardin Thu 28-Mar-13 12:56:49

no one thought we were trolls they just didn't like us having a laugh, because they is well jel innit

GetOeuf Thu 28-Mar-13 12:57:01

Sorry x posts with your last one freddie - last post went into the ether.

But I haven't been a regular for about two years they don't even know me!

GetOeuf Thu 28-Mar-13 12:58:33

Agree bof some daft invented nonsense on here at the moment. Avoiding. Just talking about cake punching at the moment.

AMAZED that the 'i want to kill my pets' one didn't get invaded by the mad and animal obsessed. The last one where some people slagged off their pets lovingly caused a flurry of sad and someone flounced because if the heartless pet owners.

I know, I know, it isn't all about me.

Why didn't HQ just change the title then? Why did they delete?

What everyone on here has to remember is that despite what we all think with anonymous user names you are never really truly anonymous on the internet.

And yes, OK, criminal incompetence re estate agents photos doesn't seem like a big deal. But it can't be one rule for you and another rule for something else.

It's OK to say on here "There's this bloke going out with my sister he gives me the creeps"

What you can't say is "There's this man called John Smith and he raped Anne Jones"

And that's the point I was trying to (cackhandedly) make WRT the estate agent thread. It's exactly the same premise and principle. It's an allegation of criminal wrong doing vs a personal opinion.

If you start saying well it's ok for estate agent photos then where does it end?

Tee2072 Thu 28-Mar-13 12:59:25

Too bad all they have to do is join in with the laugh.

And I don't get the search previous posting thing, since name changing is allowed and takes 5 seconds. So I could come back as TheMostAwesomeNameEver and post something and it would look like my first post.

I've said it before, I'll say it again, they should restrict name changes. I don't know any other site that allows it the way they do here and it leads to trolls and accusations of trolls.

LaQueen Thu 28-Mar-13 12:59:58

"It's not nice, I would hate that to have happened to me. To be sniped at repeatedly - really bloody horrible."

Oh GOML I have a veritable tag-team of snipers...they spend their weekends doing chin-ups, commando crawling through vegetation, and do timed assessments on "101 Reasons To Hate LaQueen".

I never know whether to be seriously flattered, or slightly scared hmm

Maryz Thu 28-Mar-13 13:01:31

Yes I tried to be po on the pets one and they all ignored me [sob]. And carried on laughing. I should have reported it, because it ended up in classics.

On another day it would have gone tits up by post 3. Some people must have been asleep at the time.

GetOeuf Thu 28-Mar-13 13:02:13

Presumably they could have just changed the title of the thread and removed any accusations of criminal incompetence. Because I have been on plenty of threads where estate agents have been slagged off and their picture taking skills ripped to shreds but because they didn't contain legalese (or probably because they weren't reported) they stood.

Anyway I am boring myself to death now and I am supposed to be looking for hotels.

freddie. dont feel beleaguered. it just goes wrong sometimes. Mintyy is ace. it should indeed have been renamed rather than deleted.

<<friendly punch to shoulder>>

wait till you get flamed as a troll hunter. now THAT is something else!

GetOeuf Thu 28-Mar-13 13:04:06

Someone quoted that Martin Niemoller piece in relation to dobermanns, staffordshire bull terriers and rottwielkers on a thread yesterday and nobody said ANYTHING. I remember when Valhalla did that and the whole of mumsnet burnt down.

Maryz Thu 28-Mar-13 13:04:20

Tee, I don't think name-changing is the problem any more.

I think a lot of people use multiple email addresses, so multiple registrations and know how to use random IP addresses.

I don't know how it's done, but it's why mnhq can't delete trolls so easily these days. The trolls aren't name-changers, they look like completely new people. It's only when they cock up by crossing over their identities or sockpuppeting that they can be caught.

GetOeuf Thu 28-Mar-13 13:04:53

Yes sorry freddie I sound like a haranguing bastard and I don't mean to be.

Maryz Thu 28-Mar-13 13:05:15

I reported that GetOrf, because I hate it, but obviously it isn't delete-worthy.

GetOeuf Thu 28-Mar-13 13:06:09

And that truly is offensive in my book.

LaQueen Thu 28-Mar-13 13:06:42

"They are "hate the regs reporters". There's loads of them. They lurk, because they daren't post because the regulars will bully them. So they report as much as they can."

You're spot on Maryz I suspect there are an awful lot of Humourless Dementors on MN...it's like they can recognise humour, but they epically fail to enjoy/understand it, and they are as resentful as Hell, that others clearly do enjoy it, and are having a fun time.

Rather than looking on, yearningly, and wishing they could join in...they just want to stamp all over it, and make it stop.

They daren't say as much on a thread - because they know they'll just get laughed at (quite rightly) so instead they derive a vicarious feeling of power by reporting such threads instead, whilst thinking 'There, that'll learn 'em' whilst grinding their teeth, joylessly.

Maryz Thu 28-Mar-13 13:09:02

Exactly LaQ.

And there's loads of 'em.


I always imagine them in a house smaller than the one they wanted, a DH they settled for, quite commonplace children and a part-time job they loathe, with colleagues who avoid them because they never get a joke, and a small village community who avoid because they just don't know what to do the the Po in their midst.

RandallPinkFloyd Thu 28-Mar-13 13:11:11

Oh the "all regs are bastards" thing pisses me right off. But what pisses me off more though is that if you agree with or laugh with a reg you're apparently a suck-up (Or sook which I have recently been educated about) and only doing it in a pathetic attempt to be liked.

You can't just agree with someone, or find something funny. Oh no. It's deeper than that.

What happened to fighting like cat and dog on one thread and arsing about happily on another? When did that become against da roolz? When did it get all, yes what you said both insightful and humorous but I shall neither nod nor smirk as last week you and your mates said my trousers were shit. You sir, are a bastard.

I can't be arsed having to remember names and histories. I'm not very bright and it makes MNing feel like work.

TuftyFinch Thu 28-Mar-13 13:11:12

I have no idea what's going on. I'm going back to my digging. It's easier.

in fact their whole lives have been dominated by the impetus of because "that's what you do" rather than having the gumption to imagine their own lives for themselves. And it does create bitterness when you wake up and realise there are no medals for just getting on with it.

Maryz Thu 28-Mar-13 13:12:46

Exactly Randal - I suspect I have argued about something with most people on this thread at some stage. And if I disagree about something I'll say so. But I can still have a laugh elsewhere.

Other people don't seem to be able to do that confused

GetOeuf Thu 28-Mar-13 13:13:36

lol at digging

I am sick of looking at hotels and finding that they are either joyless business holes for £150 or something ridiculous like £350 a night for palaces.

I am going to stay at home at this rate.

It was a rule. but its fallen by the wayside. got in the way of real grudge-bearing.

TuftyFinch Thu 28-Mar-13 13:14:41

Or, I might become a presenter on Radio 2, it seems to be the same though. But out loud.

GetOeuf Thu 28-Mar-13 13:17:44

Yes to being able to have a spat with someone and then being able to go back and have a happy conversation with them later on.

This is a website, it's not your family. You don't have to have a 30 year old grudge and snap at someone forever. Unless you are my mother.

GOD ALMIGHTY at the thought of her on here. grin She would make scottishmum look like Bonnie Langford (nowt against SM who I do like)

Maryz Thu 28-Mar-13 13:18:17


Stay at home. Send the rest of the family to a travelodge hotel.

Make sure you have the remote, laptop, chinese takeaway menu and wine to hand.

Have a lovely weekend.

TuftyFinch Thu 28-Mar-13 13:20:03

How do you know your mother's not on here though? I might be your mother. I might be mightn't I?
I think Johnny Cash should be quoted at the po. In particular:

does anyone think our fave mother north of the border has been told to calm down too? she's been silent on threads where I would have expected a full on assault. or maybe she just has a life. dunno.

Or tufty one of my Johnny Cash favourites I WONT BACK DOWN....

RandallPinkFloyd Thu 28-Mar-13 13:23:21

I always imagine they only have one friend. They agree on absolutely everything and are a completely joyless pair. They sit on the bus (the 8:25 into town every tuesday and thursday) harrumphing at strangers, then go to their usual cafe and order the same thing they always do even though they rarely like it. They discuss nothing controversial ever and only have one collective opinion on everything.

LaQueen Thu 28-Mar-13 13:25:20

Exactly Madame - I think you're classic Po was perhaps quite clever at school, but they were never popular...they never had any sparkle...they never had any glitter...and, that's why they had to settle for a bland DH...and they sit on a sofa that looked fancy in the shop, but now they realise is just cheap tat...and they live in a bland house that is one bedroom smaller than they'd like...and is 2.5 miles away from the naice part of town...and their DCs are at a mediocre school, struggling to hit average targets...and their part time job is dull and admin based...and somehow, they never get invited to anything fun...in fact they rarely get any invites, at all...and this is precisely because they are no fun...and they have no glitter...and they have no sparkle...and the tragedy is they know it...and they know their lives are always going to be like this.

And. It. Makes. Them. As. Bitter. As. Hell.

TuftyFinch Thu 28-Mar-13 13:26:34

Yes madame, infact most Johnny Cash will do.

TuftyFinch Thu 28-Mar-13 13:28:35

I thonk LeQueen and Randall should write a humorless drama for bbc3. You've got the bones of it already. You could call it PO.

LaQueen Thu 28-Mar-13 13:28:48

Hell yeah, Randall I never bear grudges, and I never sulk...I'll quite happily enjoy a bloodbath spirited debate on one thread, and then the very next day be larking with the very same person on another thread...or priase them for saying something funny/wise.

Life is too short to grind your teeth.

We need to have a lose the Po meet up...bad ass cocktails at the door. mandatory. lots of loud cheesy music you just have to dance to...you CAN get sparkle! it rubs off! after a bit.

<<cross that tufty did not include me on Po drama writing team>>

GetOeuf Thu 28-Mar-13 13:33:03

yes totally agree that they are the One Best Friend type.

Actually there was an article in last week's Grazia about friendships - one woman moved to Australia and whenever she showed he friend back in England pictures of her going out with some new friends she got the waterworks and accusations of 'moving on without her'. Who the hell would want that kind of intense friendship?

TuftyFinch Thu 28-Mar-13 13:33:15

Sorry madame, it was unspoken. You'd obviously be Head Writer and lequeen and randall would be your unders.

BOEUF Thu 28-Mar-13 13:34:01

Did you decide where to go, GetOeuf?

thank you tufty. I am appeased. Am happy to be part of team, with editorial control as it is a professional speciality. someone needs to keep LaQ from savaging the poodles.

OhChristHasRisenFENTON Thu 28-Mar-13 13:36:48

I've had run-ins with posters before (usually on a particular subject and probably only one poster) but I never get a chance to bear a grudge because they always disappear - or in other words namechange. Then when I think I have spotted them I'm never sure enough, and inevitably get more of the same from them.

LaQueen Thu 28-Mar-13 13:40:13

The Po always do their weekly food shop on a Saturday morning, probably at Morrisons (but they do also use Aldi/Lidl nowadays because their DH will never rise any higher in his job, and his salary has stagnated at £23K a year for the last 8 years)...they park their dark green, 7 year old Citroen Picasso in the car park...and they walk round Morrisons, barely speaking, because DH doesn't want to be there, but daren't refuse The Po... The Po knows DH doesn't want to be there, but neither does she, and why should he enjoy himself... The Po chooses a pink jersey top with a few sequins on the collar...she knows it looks cheap, and it's wont be flattering, but she's heard that a work collegue is having a BBQ that afternoon, and she's hoping they might get a text inviting them over...they go home...DH slouches on the wannabe fancy sofa...the DCs fight... The Po tries on her new top, realises it looks shit...she checks her phone, no invite...checks phone later...no invite... The Po makes tea, and argues with DH for not helping...she checks phone one last time, no invite... The Po starts to grind her teeth, and logs onto MN...

Tee2072 Thu 28-Mar-13 13:41:04

Oh fuck the POs. Let them deal with my life for 5 minutes as I sit here waiting to hear if my husband can get to my son because there's a security alert on the M1 by his daycare because some fucking stupid PO thinks the way to get heard is to plant a suspicious package.

This is the second time this month we've had this problem, with roads closed between me and my son.

Troubles are over? Fuck that for a box of rocks.

You want to meet the POs? Come to fucking NI. They're running the place.

::and breathe::

LaQueen Thu 28-Mar-13 13:43:03

You have to ask yourself why does this person appear to only have one friend...? And, then you keep smiling as you slowly back away...

TuftyFinch Thu 28-Mar-13 13:43:17

Actually can I be an under too?

They don't like animals because they're dirty. They quote The Expess as fact. If they go to the beach they make tnheir kids wear wet suits incase one tiny particle of sun gets at them. They eat sandwiches that they made together before they left, they consulted before hand so as not to double up on the cheese, that would be a disaster. They tut and tut walking from the car through the dunes. They keep there shoes on and go to the dog section of the beach. They don't go there because they like dogs they go so they can do lots of tutting and be all dog in the manger (ish) about dogs. They shreik if a dog comes within 20 feet of them or their children. They eat their sandwichea at 11.45, because they want to leave at 12.45 to beat the traffic. If one of theri dc drop a sandwich in the sand they snatch it away in case one grain is ingested....

RandallPinkFloyd Thu 28-Mar-13 13:45:16

Blimey Tee, I can't imagine. Hope he gets to him soon.

BOEUF Thu 28-Mar-13 13:45:19

To be fair, LaQueen, I don't think it's got anything at all to do with the sort of material stuff you mention. Trust me, plenty of people round here, myself included, would be delighted with a steady income, regular work in the house and a functioning car. I know it seems dull to you, but it would actually be quite exotic in these parts.

GetOeuf Thu 28-Mar-13 13:45:45


GetOeuf Thu 28-Mar-13 13:46:19

Yes bof I am going to that London. Fuck it.

BOEUF Thu 28-Mar-13 13:47:56

There must be a hotel in the whole of the capital that is sufficiently lovely for you- have you asked in Chat?

MiniPo1 is wildly annoying because she lives her life around her friends house and only ever comes reluctantly home. even though the Po house is scrubbed to within an inch of its live, and her bf lives in a slovenly household full unnecessary and dust gathering objects like books and half made meccano... MiniPo2 huddles under his duvet each weekend imagining another life...away from the porcelain...away from the smell of overcooked veg. away from the spit on the hankie before school ritual...

LaQueen Thu 28-Mar-13 13:49:21

Something I have noticed in my many years on MN, is that a certain type of poster gets targeted by The Po.

This poster typically has a bit of sparkle about them, they certainly don't have to be wealthy, or really clever or anything...but they always have character, there's something about them that attracts interest. They're colourful, memorable, usually amusing...whatever it is they have, other people respond to them.

And, sometimes people don't even respond positively, they might repsond by flaming, but it doesn't really matter, this just demonstrates that this poster has presence.

Off the top of my head I've seen Fell, and Hully, and Funny and GOML and ooddles of similar others targeted by The Po.

The Po hate them for having what they can never have.

away from the rage and fear that flickers over the Pos fave when gazing,limp tea towel in hand, out into the immaculate, strangled garden.

BOEUF Thu 28-Mar-13 13:51:29

Buppers is regularly savaged. She tells them to get bent, which I rather admire.

GetOeuf Thu 28-Mar-13 13:52:01

Yes, loads of lovely hotels but they costs HUNDREDS the fuckers.

face, not fave gah. musnt kill narrative by spelling infelicities...

LaQueen Thu 28-Mar-13 13:52:22

Boeuf give me chance, I'm still writing... wink

But, no it's not about material possessions, except so far as The Po perceive them resentfully.

Even when DH's first company went to the wall, and we had nothing I was never resentful that others had so much more than us. I looked at them, and probably sighed a bit inside, but I never hated them for it.

But, I think The Po do, they will always find something to resent and feel bitter about, regardless of material possessions.

we need to tag team on the narrative LaQ.

RandallPinkFloyd Thu 28-Mar-13 13:54:27

The PO, like a plan. Nothing spontaneous can be entertained, the plan must be stuck to.

The afore mention sea side trip will have been scheduled for at least 2 weeks. Itineraries will have been made. They will only take one car (men in the front women in the back) pick up will be at 8:30 prompt so as to ensure a good parking space. A good parking space will not be found so the first hour of the day will be challenging at best.

They will have split refreshment making duties (Cafés at the seaside are far too expensive). Butties will be jam, shite ham or cheese. No combination fillings and certainly no condiments. They shall be dry as fuck. A pack of two-finger kit kats will be brought along as a treat.

It will all be eaten whilst squished in the car. Balancing plastic plates on knees whilst pouring out tiny plastic cups of tea and wrestling with milk and sugar is no problem for the POs.

LaQueen Thu 28-Mar-13 13:54:54

The Po should have a theme tune, that song by The Beautiful South, where they sing:

'You have to wash the car
And take the kiddies to the park
Don't marry her, fuck me'

magimedi Thu 28-Mar-13 13:55:01

The Po have no capacity for enjoying the little wonders of life. That's what make 'em miserable fuckers. Sadly, there are a lot of them around.

LaQueen Thu 28-Mar-13 13:55:55

Oh fuck, have to go and collect DDs, ...back later, with Chapter 2.

TuftyFinch Thu 28-Mar-13 13:56:39

If you invited a PO for a coffee they'd say 'no, I've got to go and hoover'.

usualsuspect Thu 28-Mar-13 13:58:47

If you went for coffee at the POs they would give you a rich tea biscuit and tut if you dunked it.

TuftyFinch Thu 28-Mar-13 13:59:14

The PO take children to the children's farm and shout at them for getting muddy. They squirt that bacterial gel on their hands every 2 minutes.

magimedi Thu 28-Mar-13 13:59:20

If you invited a PO for a coffee they'd say 'no, I've got to go and hoover'.

Many years ago I came out of the final exam of an EFL course that was tough. Really tough, evening class & doing full time job.

Quite a few of us went to the pub - except one woman who refused as she had to go home & do her ironing!

there are far too many of these miserable fuckers that go no pleasure out of life.I know a few in RL. I work with a woman who couldn't be happy ever.

I just cannot for the life of me why the have to suck the joy out of everything.

"Ooh I'm off to <insert anywhere in the entire world here> on holiday.
Normal people say oh how lovely. Have a nice time. Oh I'm jealous, I wish I was going there.

she without fail will say oh really? Aren't you worried it will be too hot/too cold/full of insects/no food/you will die from a giant bear eating you.

Just ....why? Why the actual fuck can you not sit and be miserable in your corner and leave everyone else alone.

She won't to the office lottery. Because she doesn't believe in it. Believe in what FFS? Looking forward to something? Have a mad daydream what you would do with millions of pounds?

Sorry. Ill shut up now.

But I would bet you a million quid she is on this site reporting everyone that smiles.
Yes, you. You with the miserable life and blue cardigan you wear every single day whatever the weather.

RandallPinkFloyd Thu 28-Mar-13 14:05:49

Arf at the Rich Teas! Once every couple of months, when they're on offer, they get Hob Nobs. The only eat one at a time though. If one of them gets the urge they look at the other, say "ooh, shall we have one of those Hob Nobs?", then they savour the whole thing, silent except for the occasional mmmm.

The pack last at least 2 weeks.

Tee2072 Thu 28-Mar-13 14:07:14

Small boy successfully acquired. The POs have not won the day. I just hope they don't win the fucking country.

oh god yes, antibacterial gel. lets not worry about the fact its destroying the efficacy of antibiotics...lets have pretend clean hands with little worms of grey dry gunk in the creases.

RandallPinkFloyd Thu 28-Mar-13 14:09:03

Roar at not believing in the lottery!

I have a confession to make. My insight into the inner workings of the PO is not derived by my own intelligence.

My name is Randall Floyd and my mother is a PO.

I mean out and about. not in hospitals etc....before I get jumped on. but I think the Po haven't found this thread yet.

lemonmuffin Thu 28-Mar-13 14:12:59

Just read this thread, there seems to be quite a lot of hating on here at the moment.

Can we all calm down and stop abusing each other for a bit, do you think?

TuftyFinch Thu 28-Mar-13 14:13:38

That's good news Tee.
The po also don't have books in their houses. Just a couple of prints from the Next sale. They have no idea that 124000000 people have the exactvsame print.
They'll be along soon madame, with their hand gel.

usualsuspect Thu 28-Mar-13 14:13:41

My Grandma started the PO movement I believe,

She made us eat brown bread and butter with our Jelly.

GetOeuf Thu 28-Mar-13 14:14:30

No lemon.

FUCK YOU ALL <expansive>

GetOeuf Thu 28-Mar-13 14:15:24

lol at bread and butter (or in my case, stork) at tea parties.

Can you imagine doing that now.

'eat your bread and marg no you CAN'T have a chocolate finger'

Tee2072 Thu 28-Mar-13 14:16:58

We will when they do, Lemon.

Why should we sit and take it as they abuse the fuck out of us?

Well, not me. I get into spats and that's about it. Mostly I don't give a fuck because it's the internet and real life is hard enough lately.

lemon....its venting..letting off steam in a safe environment. we all need it from time to time. it had clearly built to a head. And if you want to stop haterz, call them on the threads. We need to stand up and be counted! Being a cunt isnt actually okay!

usualsuspect Thu 28-Mar-13 14:17:12

We weren't allowed to just have the jelly. We had to eat the bread and butter with it.

It put me off Hovis for life.

Trills Thu 28-Mar-13 14:17:33

Glad you've got him Tee smile

But lemon why?

Why stop? Because we may or may not offend someone who may or may not be reading this?

<<does realise belatedly that lemon is doing exactly that>> oh well you know what I mean!!!!!

GetOeuf Thu 28-Mar-13 14:17:59

That's mad, bread and jelly grin