Mumsnet Talk

As im sure your all aware Domestic abuse is a massive problem in our society and resources to help women escape are scarce.
On MN alone there are many many women that are either struggling to leave or have finally left and are now struggling to get settled.

Now Mehdismummy has given me a most fantastic idea and i am keen toput it into action, but i need the help of all of you most fabulous MNers. we all know how generous you are -me more than most- and so i am counting on you to help get this off the ground.

I have an enormous cupboard at my house (it is about the size of a box room almost) and with your friends i hope to fill it with little bits and pieces that women could use as essential items when they first leave. things like clothes, nappies, kettles, pots and pans etc etc.

When a woman leaves these items are invaluable in those early days so i would put together "first day" boxes and post to them.
they could be tailored to theh individual needs of the people in general but basically they could offer a but of support to cover them until community care grants and other funds kick in.

It would be my hope that once we have a core amount of "stock" we could even get a few bits to help from MN supporting businesses.

Now theh idea was only put to me this afternoon so i haven;t quite ironed out all theh kinks but what do we think? anyone have any other bits of advice or things to think about?? or even anything they think they could possibly donate?

I'd be happy to post on clothes/school uniforms. Is it going to be an ongoing thing?

What a fantastic idea. I think you sound like the start of the slave underground railroad.

Being fortunate enough to lack experience, I would say that up to date information packs that relate to legal rights, access to benefits, how to liaise with the police might be useful for someone who may not have ready access to a landline or internet might be useful.

tbh some of those items are going to be low value but expensive to move around by post or otherwise eg you can buy a kettle for £5 but it would probably cost another £5 to post. Vouchers might be a practical supplement.

I think emergency packs of toiletries, plus a lip gloss, mascara and a brush on bronzer might be nice for someone putting themsselves back together.

Also offering a safe place to store essential documents ahead of escape time eg passports, birth certificates, bank items, marriage certificates - so prehaps a fire proof safe for your boxroom.

also tampax, morning after pill and pants might be handy

i would like it to be a permenant thing.
if you go and renew your kettle or toaster send me the old one and i can keep it stored for one of these ladies.

It could help people in need for other reasons as well of course (thinking of Trinity's situation)

My hope is thaht rather than lots of individual appeals that can make some people feel a little numb to the cause (if they are constantly seeing appeals they feel less inclined to donate - and also may only wish to donate to people they "know")

This way i would hopefully be able to build a store of basic items that could be sent out almsot immediatly.

School uniforms would be a great help!

yes i had also thought of some information packs.
Am currently going through some legal info to try and get some easily digestable bits and pieces that i can use to form some booklets. im certainly no IT wizard!

I would be more than happy to store paperwork for people if they sent it sealed up. I usually advise people to send it to a friend just in case but i know that thats not always possible.

the toiletries is also another great idea. some people are able to plan their escape so pack essentials but may not think of things like make up.
tampax and MAP - also brilliant ideas.

ooh i have such a good feeling about this.

Would you consider taking donations via paypal etc??

I would certainly be happy to try and send on some of the boys clothing, but am not sure I would have any household stuff around that would be any good.

I can provide some up to date advice and so on if you'd like. I work for Women's aid and would suggest that if people have items to donate that they contact their local branch first to see if they want them.

I know we do provide practical help, money and items to help people who are fleeing domestic abuse whether they use our refuge services or not but not all branches are able to do that.

I know there are a group of volunteers with a wagon who work with our local fire brigade and turn up with vital necessities when people have lost everything. Maybe they have some good ideas to pinch

Well i set up a paypal account for the christmas party which will now be redundant so woudl be happy for that to be used for this.

I had considered taking cash/voucher donations to A) pass on as supermarket vouchers B)help with pastal costs and C) to be used to buy travel tickets for people needing to leave and get away fast

I also thought of maybe contacting the big superstores to ask for some donations of shopping vouchers, just a £10 voucher could buy bread and milk to cover someone for a couple of days. but i worry that i would have to be registered as a proper charity for that....and i just wouldn't know where to start.

All these idea's are fabulous. keep 'em coming

What a fantastic idea.

I will be replacing my kettle an dtoaster after xmas, they are both fine but don't match [shallow].

I have bags full of chidlrens' clothes in the loft that haven't made it to the charity shops yet too.

It's a brilliant idea - like Wilts I don't have anything obviously useful but would be more than happy to donate supermarket vouchers/cold hard cash. Will have a look at the Charities Commission website and see what's involved.

tis a fab idea and very very kind of you

but how are you going to stop the chancers from scurrying out of the woodwork ?

I guess we can't Korma. there will always be people who think that if they invest a couple of nights trollery on the forums they could benefit. but if they are that desperate for some second bits of household stuff then i guess they are in just as much need as those we aimed to help.

I don't propose sending lots of money in cash or hiugh quality items, just some sainsbo's vouchers and second hand bits.

To thos ein genuin need it will be like liquid gold, but those not, it'll all seem a bit pants.

or at least i'd hope!

I think that this is a wonderful idea and I would be very happy to support it in any way that I can. I'm not sure I have anything suitable to donate atm but am happy to give vouchers or a donation via paypal.

fair enough - as i said i think it is a wonderful idea - i just dont want to see anyone taen advantage of and hurt again

as for being kind.
all i have to do is take in some unwanted bits and go to the post office. not a greaqt d eal of work on my part.

But i ave been in the position of having literally nothing and so i know how usefull this sort of thing would have been.
if thats a problem i could ease for just a few women then i feel i would be giving back some of the most amazing help MN has given me over the years.

ah shurrup woman - it is kind of you - no arguing

no i see where your comign from Korma.

Hopefully people will only send what they no longer need or can afford.
I guess i would be the only one to feel taken advantage of and i reckon im tough enough to take it on the chin.
as i say, if it manages to be of use to 1 woman then im happy for a couple of chancers to get a second hand kettle

good on ya

What a great idea!
Would you take babies'/ children clothing as well?

oh sorry I reread OP and I see that you mentioned it

Would you consider approaching shops in the vicinity of a dv shelter to see if they could issue vouchers for small household items, toiletries, makeup, nappies, etc. that the women could use when they arrive at the shelter. Shelter could give them out as needed. Would look good for the shops too if there was any publicity attached (thinking of the RED campaign)

My oldest DD's school does a christmas collection for the local dv shelter. They accept items like makeup, toiletries, perfumes, underwear and baby things like nappies. Plus money of course.

Brill idea

Will try to get cracking!

Dumb question alert: this is for mumsnetters, is it? Or for a local project? Or both? (Great idea either way)

Mothers' Union often run projects (well they do in "our" neck of the woods) to produce packs like this.

I have seen MU appeals for things for young offenders taken into custody to tide them over a night or two. Also for women taken into labour unexpectedly and removed to hospital without their labour bags from home.