If you (still) feel the need to discuss Moldies [part 2]

(1009 Posts)
YetMoreTech (MNHQ) Wed 31-Dec-08 11:29:56

This thread is a continuation of this one. That one had become too big for its own boots the system to handle.

Tortington Wed 31-Dec-08 11:42:33

controlfreaky, i wonder if you can put your post here so people can comment, i don't want to do it, cos it might be seen int he wrong light.

so inanser to what you said, i think its perfectly understandable and its definatley something i am wrestling with

i haven't got a list of people, but i have caught myself vetting who i am answering

BumpermightsuetheSindie Wed 31-Dec-08 11:52:17

Hmm, interesting point from controlfreaky. I'm inclined to agree, though there are people that I really liked and like a lover who screws you over, just because they do something you don't like doesn't mean you just stop liking them. God, I'm always so melodramatic on these threads!

shivermetinsel Wed 31-Dec-08 11:53:01

I missed all this Moldies nonesense but i can guarantee that they are not all evil b*stards.I know someone who was invited to join but she is such an insecure person she was just so thrilled to be wanted that she did not think of any implications.She is now so devastated by the thought of what you lot might think of her that she has de-registered from mumsnet, which is a shame for her and a huge loss to mumsnet.

that is quite sad, but understandable....custardo

roisin Wed 31-Dec-08 12:02:04

Cripes is this still running?
Apart from one or two names I don't actually know who is/was a moldie, and care little.

I am quite happy for Mumsnet to be completely open, and am always disappointed when people feel they can no longer post on here, for whatever reason.

Over the past 8.5 years there are people who have come and gone on this site, and from time to time I might even shrug and think "Hmm... I wonder what happened to Tigger?" But such reminiscences rarely occupy me for long.

In the same way that if I suddenly disappeared one day, most people on here wouldn't notice, a few might wonder where I was, and even 'miss me' for a week or two. And that's fine with me - it's even one of the things I like about the site being so big now.

Flihgtattendant Wed 31-Dec-08 12:03:39

Well Controlfreaky I read your post and I understand it.

On the other hand, i am one of the people who is feeling it - the 'moving on' thing - and I am not sure why.

I do still think about it occasionally and feel a bit cross, a bit hurt - but have somehow assimilated it into my mind in its own little box. So it doesn't get in the way of normal posting on here...ie I'm trying to forget all the nonsense, all the 'up the arse' posts from people who were frankly rude and arrogant in their defense of their group. (Not all by any means, I hasten to add, but there were a few dodgy posts)

and just carry onr egardless iyswim.

I don't know if it helps that I did have a nice email from a Moldie saying sorry about it all. Maybe that has helped me move on.

But I haven't forgotten it, just acknowledge that I can't do much about it and try and take people at face value when they post on here rather than bring that up in my mind when I see certain names.

Perhaps that's because I never went to any meet ups. i am sure that makes it easier for me and prob says something about the depth at which MN nestles in my consciousness, for real...ie not too deep...

Flihgtattendant Wed 31-Dec-08 12:06:14

And also it feels a bit like when a member of my own family pisses me off. Yes it hurts a lot and I do carry it around for a while, I don't forget - but I need them, I really do, and they are my family, and therefore i kind of push it to one side and get on with it.

Clarissimo Wed 31-Dec-08 12:06:28

I said early on I didn't want to know who was in Mouldies (Peachy btw), I meant it for exactly thsoe reasons I think- I didnt want to meet somene on a thread and think 'ooh I remember that horrid comment you amde'.

but it's nt the members that bug me, just those who amde thoughtless / nasty / bizarre comments afterwards. I quite understand how someone could enter into it all without thinking; coming on and posting 'because certain people dont give enough / were voted out' etc etc is different imo.

But they were few and far between, can only think of 1 I'd avoid whom I had misgivings about anyhow, and maybe a couple i'd think things through about first. Not a lot in real terms.

Freckle Wed 31-Dec-08 14:14:15

Is there anything fresh to be said about this issue now? I don't see how it is helpful to start up a new thread about it - why not just let the other thread get to capacity and then drop the issue?

Perhaps the Moldies issue should be treated in the same way as the GF one. The more opportunity people have to discuss the longer the bitterness will remain. I've noticed on the other thread that posters are coming on and saying - ooohh didn't know about this, can someone update. So an update is posted and the whole thing kicks off again.

Can it not just be laid to rest now?

NAB3lovelychildren Wed 31-Dec-08 14:15:48

I still have no idea what went on.

NoShitSherlock Wed 31-Dec-08 14:19:04

Neither do I NAB

wow, we nearly broke mumsnet grin

I think controlfreaky's post sums up what a lot of people are feeling. there will always be a bit of guarded posting now I think as people wonder

a) are you a mouldie?
b) did you vet my invitation?

and again, in answer to the "I don't understand why you are all so upset" comments; people have felt betrayed, sniped about and worthless as they had RL relationships with some of the main protagonists and feel duped. That sort of hurt takes time to go and leaves a gaping hole where there was once trust imo. Other people's feelings shouldn't be made less of just because it isn't how you have reacted.

So.....in the spirit of New Year/new start; Can we all go back to discussing cocktails, pasta sarnies, rev's cult (I accept paypal too Rev wink) and arse grapes? Please smile

Happy New Year xx

RustyBear Wed 31-Dec-08 14:21:40

Freckle - the other thread had got to capacity and was causing technical problems, so it had to be closed, which is why YMT started this one - it's not really another thread as such, just a continuation of the old one.

fishie Wed 31-Dec-08 14:23:03

what did controlfreaky say then?

Freckle Wed 31-Dec-08 14:28:39

I gathered that, but I don't see the point in facilitating the continuation of that thread, which had descended into more of a general chat thread anyway. By creating another thread (albeit an extension of that one), it is merely poking the sore with a sharp stick.

Flihgtattendant Wed 31-Dec-08 14:30:45

I know what you mean Daisy,

Freckle I expect this thread will just die off, like an old verruca...but better to have a place it can be discussed rather than lots of little 'what happened then?' threads popping up I suppose.

I kind of feel like if I wasn;'t invited it probably wouldn't have been my kind of thing anyway. Almost like the people who set it up weren't really saying 'MN is shit so we need this', they were saying 'we are a bit special so we want this little site' which is fair enough but a bit, up ones arse as it were. grin

So not being very much up my own delightful derriere, I feel very at home here ectula.

smile
MN is a nice happy place right now imvho...

I bet rhubarb is glad she isn't up her own arse wink

I think it needs to die it's own death freckle. Like flight says, lots of other threads will pop up otherwise, considering there are still posters coming on and saying "eh? what did i miss?"

inSanityClause Wed 31-Dec-08 14:39:11

I'm almost sure we're past Helm's Deep now though.

<gets comfier cushion>
<gets more popcorn>
<gets MORE ALCOHOL>

sarah293 Wed 31-Dec-08 14:41:46

can controlfreaky's post be put here. The other thread freezes my computer.

Flihgtattendant Wed 31-Dec-08 14:43:10

C&P for you Riven

By controlfreakyhohohohohohoho on Wed 31-Dec-08 10:40:51
ok. enough already with the botom problems....
hope your grape is less ouchy rhubarb... and hope even more you havent resorted to arsedoctors diy techniques.....

was going to post on mamag's thread re fitting in but didnt want to piss off mnhq so thought here was better.....

i have the self awareness to know and acknowledge that i am not good at forgiveness / moving on / getting over stuff....

i was / am cross and upset re whole sorry mouldies business and think some of the smug self justifying crap they posted on here to justify themselves was profoundly irritating and provoking.....

and here's the thing.... i dont want to say hi / be friendly / pretend it's all forgotten now etc when one of the mouldies who couldnt resist outing themselves on here deigns to pop back and put their less eclusive mn hat on and pick up where they left off.

i know there's a general move for truth and reconciliation... i'm sure that is very grown up..... but wanted to say i'm not feeling it myself. don't expect anyone to agree with me but wanted to say that's how i feel....

NoShitSherlock Wed 31-Dec-08 14:43:43

FA wasn't your name FLIGHTATTENDANT or has it always been FLIHGTATTENDANT? Just wondering

Flihgtattendant Wed 31-Dec-08 14:43:46

hope nobody minds

ghosty Wed 31-Dec-08 14:43:52

Ok so I'ma a bit pissed as it is new year already herea in Australai
BUT
WHYU THE FUCKIN IN ALLT HAT IS HOLDY HAS YEET ANOTHER THEARD BEEN STARTED ON THEIS UTTERLY BORINGING SIUBJECT???

Flihgtattendant Wed 31-Dec-08 14:44:16

NSS you're right it was flightattendant

but I have flounced toooooo often to get it back grin

Flihgtattendant Wed 31-Dec-08 14:44:59

<<passes Ghosty a large black coffee>>

there there pet

HNY and all that

crikey grin

wheresthehamster Wed 31-Dec-08 14:45:22

deep breath ghosty and ....... hide

NoShitSherlock Wed 31-Dec-08 14:47:41

Ah right. I thought I was going mad grin

sarah293 Wed 31-Dec-08 14:49:56

ta FA

NoShitSherlock Wed 31-Dec-08 14:52:00

LOL at ghosty you can tell see is pished

Lizzylou Wed 31-Dec-08 14:53:01

lol @ Ghosty

I agree with you, (from what I can make out)

Happy New Year to you

Flihgtattendant Wed 31-Dec-08 14:53:03

It feels like the end of a looong party

we are finishing off the leftover cakes, handing lost coats to those returning for them, and I have got a broom and am doing the floor.

lol FA...ike Noshitsherlock, I had been wondering if you always had that spelling mistake in your name or not, lol

RustyBear Wed 31-Dec-08 15:00:35

If they'd just closed the other thread it would have been like cutting off a bramble without getting the roots out - lots of little sucker threads would have sprung up in active conversations asking where it had gone.

This thing will probably not die until MNHQ unveil the 'new look' site for real & then it will be forgotten in the storm of protest that evokes.....

KerryMumbles Wed 31-Dec-08 15:09:02

agree with freaky.

sorry but that's how I see it as well...

KerryMumbles Wed 31-Dec-08 15:09:59

problem is those who haven't "outed" themselves.

That's when it starts inducing paranoia becoming tricky.

Ah well, move on.

Upwards and onwards as it were....

lol at the bramble analogy rusty smile

cupsoftea Wed 31-Dec-08 15:18:55

I'm not a mouldie!

thumbwitch Wed 31-Dec-08 15:20:24

just wanted to post a comment that I had previously posted on the Lets Talk about Mumsnet thread:
perhaps it would be less mildy inflammatory if people stopped telling us they were moldies? - for those people who are feeling upset/offended that they haven't been invited, each new discovery is just going to add to the misery.

Soon enough we will mostly forget who is a moldy, with some notable exceptions, if they stop talking about it. And then we can all get back to being on mumsnet together.

BigGitLovesMulledWineDad Wed 31-Dec-08 16:01:30

I wonder who will be the first to post on this thread come the new year! (greenwich mean time) Will there be a prize?

FrannyandZooey Wed 31-Dec-08 16:27:17

did anyone else get a little shiver when tech was all firm with us on the other thread?

Flihgtattendant Wed 31-Dec-08 16:33:14

pmsl Franny grin

I'd do tech tonight
I'd do anyone

BGD you wanna snog?

I have NYE withdrawal
it's really bad shock

foxytocin Wed 31-Dec-08 16:34:25

well it isn't new years quite yet here but i am softening up for it...

with something rummy.

BigGitLovesMulledWineDad Wed 31-Dec-08 16:35:59

FA, I'm a married man! Though that has not stopped people on here in the past!grin

BigGitLovesMulledWineDad Wed 31-Dec-08 16:37:11

Franny, thats where I have gone wrong all my life, just not firm enough! Take that as you will!grin

NoShitSherlock Wed 31-Dec-08 16:38:30

Just for you FA {{{{{{{{{{{{{{MWAH}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

pooka Wed 31-Dec-08 16:40:23

I'm watching, BGD. wink

pooka Wed 31-Dec-08 16:41:44

<hikack for BGD - are you off to L&A tonight?>

Flihgtattendant Wed 31-Dec-08 16:42:49

Ha! Sorry about that bgd blush

Thankyou very much NSS.

<<<mwah>>>to you too smile

I can go to bed at 8pm with a peaceful heart now...

BigGitLovesMulledWineDad Wed 31-Dec-08 16:42:52

You'll just have to get in the queue Pooka with the rest of them! Maybe your dh may be needed on here soon!!gringrin
Have a good night tonight and best wishes for the new year!smile

BigGitLovesMulledWineDad Wed 31-Dec-08 16:43:49

Yes Pooka.

Rhubarb Wed 31-Dec-08 18:20:01

I entirely agree with controlfreaky. I thought I could get over it, I honestly did. Lord knows I did try!

But the irony of them telling us how to improve Mumsnet is just all too much.

I feel that I can't trust anyone. I feel that I don't want to talk about my family because I don't want people reading personal info about me, knowing that they can go away and post in their own little safe environments.

I don't know if they will be recruiting anymore Mumsnet members. I get the feeling that they will wait until the dust has settled and then start sending out invites again.

I think it's actually upset me more than I had realised. So I probably shouldn't post anymore on the subject until I feel more able to deal with it rationally.

It would have been better if they had acknowledged the hurt they had caused and apologised. But there has been none of that.


On the upside - I did try to get to see a GP about my bot, but there were no laaaadies available and I'm sorry but I ain't showing my arse to a man! (I could never go in for bumsex!) However I did call NHS Direct and they were very nice and said I would prob only be prescribed a steroid cream anyway. So I have been shoving ice cubes up my bot and it has definitely shrunk! grin

BALD Wed 31-Dec-08 18:27:00

Rhubarb I cannot let that last post go unchallenged

I for one aplogised for the hurt caused, shame that you have forgotten that in your festival of moldie bashing

Rhubarb Wed 31-Dec-08 18:29:41

I'm sorry, I never saw apologies. In fact I don't even know who you are, so apologies again.

However you were not one of the posters I was thinking of. Can I ask, and you don't have to answer, but have you now left Moldies and if not, why not?

Like I said, you don't have to answer.

And I'm not bashing, I'm being open and honest with my feelings. I'm not personally attacking anyone here, just sharing thoughts with others equally affected.

TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench Wed 31-Dec-08 18:36:26

I have nowt to say on this subject, but seem to be VG at killing threads atm

And that's why I am posting here grin

Flihgtattendant Wed 31-Dec-08 18:38:58

It's fair enough to let it all out rhuby.

But there were quite a few apologies from various people, saying sorry that people felt so hurt, etc etc

I'm not just on about the personal ones
ones on the threads

I'm so sorry you are feeling rotten too x (am not a moldie btw)

Flihgtattendant Wed 31-Dec-08 18:39:36

Oops sorry quench i mucked up your effort a bit there grin

Rhubarb Wed 31-Dec-08 18:40:48

Ah right, I guess I had turned off at that stage, it all got a bit much and a bit heated.

Well good on those who had the balls to apologise - that was very big and took guts.

Flihgtattendant Wed 31-Dec-08 18:42:02

<<hugs Rhubard a bit forcefully>>

I wish I could personally make it all better

hey, elton john is on tonight...

<<fails miserably>>

grin

KerryMumbles Wed 31-Dec-08 18:42:42

they really should send chocolate though...

at the very least.

afaic

Flihgtattendant Wed 31-Dec-08 18:44:46

it would help

special moldie chocolate formed by elves in the caves of moldavia (is that a real place?)

LadyThompson Wed 31-Dec-08 18:54:32

I'm late to the furore. I have posted a lot this year but only really on my ante-natal thread as of late as my DD was born in Nov and I have, in the words of Why Don't You, been doing something less boring instead. So forgivez-moi if I am just repeating. It's neve stopped me before grin

I'm hugely dismayed by the reports in the press as it makes a peerless site sound like an offcut from an Angela Brazil novel. I frankly don't care if some people want to set up a site of their own, particularly if they know each other in RL - yes, all this vetoing malarkey seems a bit low rent, as does this tiresome drawbridgism of 'Mumsnet is too full of newbies'; but it's still up to them. I couldn't give a fluff about the Moldies, good luck to them, but I am saddened to see the site brought into disrepute with all this sniping, and I am sorry for people like Custardo, who actually seemed to know some of these characters. But come on, they haven't jigsawed the heart out of Mumsnet. They aren't the sole keepers of the wit, warmth and wisdom that have made it so great. At least we might have seen the back of threads like that real heartsinker, the 'Mumsnet Royalty' one a few months ago. That was a REAL nadir and lit the touchpaper for some rather grisly self-importance, imo. Anyway, far from being a Mayflower, I reckon the Moldies debacle will be just like the SDP breakaway from the Labour party many moons ago grin Happy New Year ladies.

RustyBear Wed 31-Dec-08 18:54:36
KerryMumbles Wed 31-Dec-08 18:56:16

Not that chocolate will make me more inclined to talk to them mind you....

Flihgtattendant Wed 31-Dec-08 18:58:14

Oh thanks Rusty. Looks rather sort of shabby chic as countries go, doesn't it?

Rhubarb Wed 31-Dec-08 18:58:37

A cheese board would be more appropriate. With blue cheese!

I like blue cheese.

It's silly though isn't it? To feel this way? 'Tis only the internet and I wasn't as personally involved as custy. She found out she had been nominated but vetoed against, so she must be wondering who, of the Moldies, voted against her? Plus she met up with a few of them at the Xmas Do and at Brighton meet-ups. She thought highly of them, considered them friends.

I'm not in that position. But I do feel discriminated against. And I do mistrust quite a lot of people on Mumsnet atm.

But then again I am quite low in general atm. It's been a bad Christmas and neither dh or I feel like celebrating New Year with a possibility of being jobless. So I guess I'm more sensitive to it all.

Hugs appreciated btw! I'm glad there are still good people out there!

Happy New Year folks!

fishie Wed 31-Dec-08 18:59:19

horrid thought, to be shunned as suspect moldie when actually one is a reject. it is most paranoia inducing you are right kerrymum.

besides it is almost impossible to keep up with who is here so it can't realistically last long.

VeniVidiVickiQV Wed 31-Dec-08 18:59:28

Yes, I made apologies too. So did quite a few others.

Myrrhcy Wed 31-Dec-08 18:59:56

As far as I am concerned I think I have taken on board why people feel upset and have also apologised - Clausimworthit it explained it best for me.

I have never been to a meet up (my choice) and have rarely had contact with anyone off board; I guess we all use MN for diffferent reasons so I wasn't thinking about posters who had actually met each other. I may have had a different view if I had.

Also I had no idea re a voting/vetoeing system - I first heard about it here tbh.

Yes I did say a couple of bad things (but that was in response to one or 2 people who were deliberately stirring, jumping on the bandwagon, the anti cod mob etc)

But at the end of day I think anyone is entitled to suggest ways of improving MN because tbh i think there are certain things that need dealing with.

And don't forget that for MNHQ any publicity is good publicity. Remember what was really going on with GF?

Having said that I will continue to post on MN because on the whole I like it - and my last comment is

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!

Rhubarb Wed 31-Dec-08 19:00:43

LadyT, you are quite right! I think people just need time to lick their wounds.

However if they are to keep posting, you do wonder if and when they will start to invite people onto their site again. I'm sure it will happen. I guess the main sticking point is that it's not gone away, nor will it, and nobody is telling us anything about it. So the secrecy is still very much alive and whilst it is, there is an air of mistrust about Mumsnet.

Nighbynight Wed 31-Dec-08 19:01:06

controlfreaky, thank you for posting how I feel about it.

Rhubarb, they seem to have actively recruited people since this all kicked off - but only those who accepted being left out graciously, according to vvvq.
So, rather the opposite of recognising any hurt caused, really.
In those circumstances, I feel that individual expressions of regret are a bit hypocritical.

Flihgtattendant Wed 31-Dec-08 19:01:12

oh Rhuby smile

sorry things hav been naff. I can't imagine how Custy feels having been told that. How bloody hurtful.

Can't personally imagine anyone who would vote against Custy (or yourself)shock

You're both just MN treasure imo, can't imagine the place without you.

Here's to a better new year xx

Rhubarb Wed 31-Dec-08 19:03:26

Thank you FA.

Nighty, that is horrendous. And deepens my mistrust. How bloody hypocritical!

Oh well, not a damn thing we can do about it. Appealing to people's better nature has not worked. I'm having a rest for a while, see you all in the New Year!

xx

KerryMumbles Wed 31-Dec-08 19:04:17

HAPPY NEW YEAR RHUBS

TotalChaos Wed 31-Dec-08 19:04:47

Nigh - I understood that comment to be about making apologies to non-members rather making people members of Moldies.

Notreallycutoutforthis Wed 31-Dec-08 19:05:05

Avoided all this so far, but have to love LadyThompsons SDP analogy grin

VeniVidiVickiQV Wed 31-Dec-08 19:05:33

That's patently untrue nighbynight and I refute it 100%.

Dragonbrandybutter Wed 31-Dec-08 19:06:42

Is there a name and shame part of the thread?
I'm curious to know who are in the Moldies.
Link?

Flihgtattendant Wed 31-Dec-08 19:07:00

Nigh, I am not sure about that although I only know my own experience...

I had an apology which apparently was sent from the entire posse via an emissary smile is that the word?

Anyway I wasn't recruited, it was just an apology and an attempt at an olive branch I believe

I was glad of it, and wished them well

That's all without prejudice, I'm just glad of kindness in any form at the moment and I felt it was pretty genuine

again, I'm not in the position of say Custy, who was really hurt and I can see precisely why it hurt her, so am witholding any judgment as I feel unqualified really.

VeniVidiVickiQV Wed 31-Dec-08 19:07:02

That's right TC, (and I apologised for that too!)

tigermoth Wed 31-Dec-08 19:08:03

I don't post a lot now and am pretty anonymous on mumsnet these days - I know some of the oldies recognise me, but I don't have a high profile.

I really value mumsnet and have never flounced, but it hasn't all been sweetness and light here for me. Years ago I had a few run ins with the odd poster or two and this year my supersoaker viewpoint was roundly attacked by oldies, newbies and trolls alike 99% of mumsnet felt I was wrong and misguided or just plain bonkers. I don't mind, really, but it was interesting to see the strong eaction.

Anyway, I want to be up front. I was invited to the Moldies site a while ago, but didn't read the email properly - it arrived at work. I read something about a forum but I am not very techy and was very busy as well. Our internet policy forbids me from opening a facebook type link and I just forgot to send the email to my home address. I thought the whole thing was something to do with a round robin christmas type email group.

I then took a break from mumsnet while I did some decorating and came back here a few days before christmas, purely to wish people happy christmas. I had a quick scan through talk and realised something was up with the oldies. I had no time to find out what. I posted a happy christmas message and left again.

I was then emailed a link to the Moldies site which was one and the same as the site I had been told about earlier. I didn't realise until then. I joined a couple of days ago. I don't have much internet time so will have even less if I am dividing my time between two sites. I am finding that lots of people I like are on the Moldies site, but lots of people I equally like are on Mumsnet and it makes me sad that there seems to be a barrier. I have not got my head round this voting/vetting thing at all yet.

I do not intend to ever vote or vet anyone who joins the Moldies site - who am I to do this? I just don't know what I will do, tbh, as I want to go on talking to all the people I like. Is this a naive dream? It seems so at the moment This makes me sigh as when I left mumsnet sometime in october/november everyone seemed to be in one place!

I also really value mumsnet and MN HQ for all sorts of reasons, and like being on a site that is open to all - I've always liked the random, spontaneous nature of people posting here even when it's gone against me (and believe me, it has).

I have no idea what will happen with Moldies and mumsnetters. I have no idea if 3 weeks from now I will be posting on one, two, three, four or no sites tbh.

Anyway, for what it's worth, Happy New Year.

Threadworm Wed 31-Dec-08 19:08:36

So some people can now feel doubly hurt -- at being left out of moldies and being left out of the entire-posse apology. Still, if not gracious, what can one expect?

Threadworm Wed 31-Dec-08 19:13:17

Actually, here's a point.

Who do you think constitute quite a large proportion of the quieter MNers?

Social fuck-ups, that's who. Peploe who are socially phobic to some extent and have huge RL problems with forming supportive friendships.

Just the sort of people who find this moldie shit the hardest.

Flihgtattendant Wed 31-Dec-08 19:14:57

Sorry Thready, I kind of felt I had to 'declare' it iyswim

I think it might have happened because I asked the person to wish 'them' a merry Christmas, as there were people there I couldn't reach, and I wanted to say it to everyone in the spirit of the season. She did so and the apology came back.

I don't think it was like a 'who shall we send an apology to' it was just a bit random and obviously polite after I'd said happy christmas.

I don't think it's because I am special person or anything.

Flihgtattendant Wed 31-Dec-08 19:16:09

I'm a typical social fuck up, Thready. If that helps. I have bits of paper that prove it.

GeorgeBailey Wed 31-Dec-08 19:16:45

There is no entire-posse apology.

GeorgeBailey Wed 31-Dec-08 19:17:40

And nobody has been newly invited since all this kicked off.

Flihgtattendant Wed 31-Dec-08 19:18:14

I don't know exactly what it was but it was worded like it was 'from everyone' sort of thing.

<<wishes hadn't mentioned it>>

arghhh

Threadworm Wed 31-Dec-08 19:18:17

Sorry flight, didn't mean to get at you. Just feeling a bit crap today.

What I meant to say in my earlier post was this:

An online social forum is particularly helpful for shy people whio have real difficulties with friendships. I am sure there must be a lot of people like this on mn. I fall into that category, and it means that -- even if it is irrational and wrong -- the moldie thing is likely to be interpreted in a self-hurting way.

Flihgtattendant Wed 31-Dec-08 19:18:48

and I sent happy christmas wishes to everyone so it would seem reasonable in that sense

Flihgtattendant Wed 31-Dec-08 19:19:49

Thready please no need to apologise to me. I totally see you are feeling crap and am sorry.

<<secret handshake?>>

Flihgtattendant Wed 31-Dec-08 19:21:11

Fwiw I flounced when it all kicked off. That's why my name is all funny. smile

I totally interpreted it in a 'i must be crap' way. Have just simmered down a bit and realised that i usually feel like that anyway, regardless of anyone else's actions...

lou33 Wed 31-Dec-08 19:23:25

are we all set for auld lang syne?

Quattrocento Wed 31-Dec-08 19:24:04

MN is much more comfortable post-Mouldigate. There's no more prefects prowling along the corridors, pouncing on newbies for flouting rules they didn't know about, no more fagging ... it's altogether more relaxed.

Cheer up all and happy new year

Qx

GeorgeBailey Wed 31-Dec-08 19:24:54

"MN is much more comfortable post-Mouldigate"

Sure it is.

Piffle Wed 31-Dec-08 19:24:54

threadworm. I joined having been socially phobic, and still now I struggle locally.
Being part of another online forum hardly changes that tbh...

I concur and heartily agree with what Tigermoth posted.
That makes two of us naive.
I will try and refrain from posting on MN as I am getting shit chucked back in my face and there is only so much one sensitive soul can take.

Nighbynight Wed 31-Dec-08 19:25:37

does that mean the entire posse isnt sorry then, GeorgeBailey?

Q - completely agree there.

Tortington Wed 31-Dec-08 19:25:50

indeed quattro.

ilovelovemydog Wed 31-Dec-08 19:27:30

rhubarb - did you make it to Wiltshire?

And re: chocolate. Has anyone noticed that Green and Black's Dark and Almond isn't available anymore? I complained as I loved it and it has been discontinued sad sad

Tortington Wed 31-Dec-08 19:27:33

oh georgie baby, have you deregged from mn - or just name changed?

becuase either way, not having the nuts to shit stir in your own name, is poor.

Quattrocento Wed 31-Dec-08 19:30:06

George, if you don't like it here - the door is only one click away ...

<I have to go and get dressed for a fancy dress party now and have ZERO inspiration - perhaps I should have started thinking about this before. Do you think a toga is lame-o?>

Nighbynight Wed 31-Dec-08 19:31:00

well to be fair, custy, GeorgeBailey has cleared up a few points. I feel sure that GeorgeBailey is speaking with authority on these things.

who the hell is george bailey anyway?

Rhubarb Wed 31-Dec-08 19:31:50

Just a quickie - tigermoth, there's a name I've not seen for a while! Hope you stick around!

Also, you said you were invited to join a couple of days ago? That's interesting.

I have but one plea. When I do come back to post regularly, can those who belong to Moldies and I have issues with, they know who they are, please avoid me? I will endeavour to do the same. It's not a solution but I'm afraid I don't think I can trust some people ever again.

Happy New Year again everyone.

Lizzylou Wed 31-Dec-08 19:32:01

I have opened the champagne, DH is incinerating cooking the fillet steak.

Can we all just agree to make 2009 a year where everyone is taken at face value on MN?
No Mouldie bashing, no Mouldies popping back for a bitch under a new name?

I'm pissed off enough at staying in on NYE, without watching my "lifeline" implode.

I don't care who us a Mouldie and who isn't, I do realise why some people are peed off. Lets just get on with it.

Happy New Year

Lizzylou Wed 31-Dec-08 19:33:32

Quattro envy at your fancy dress party, no ideas, but a party with grown ups and drinking and dancing....swoon

GeorgeBailey Wed 31-Dec-08 19:35:23

rhubarb, tigermoth actually said "I was invited to the Moldies site a while ago, but didn't read the email properly"

GeorgeBailey is the hero in It's a Wonderful Life who watches his world going to rack & ruin when he's not in it sad

Yes, custy, I deregged

Piffle Wed 31-Dec-08 19:36:21

rhuby would I know if I had an issue with you?
And avoid you?
What like keep off your threads or something?
Contect would be good

Lizzylou Wed 31-Dec-08 19:36:38

Egotistical much?

Rhubarb Wed 31-Dec-08 19:37:00

"I was then emailed a link to the Moldies site which was one and the same as the site I had been told about earlier. I didn't realise until then. I joined a couple of days ago."

Piffle Wed 31-Dec-08 19:37:05

or rather would I know if you had an issue with me?
<crap at not posting huh>

KerryMumbles Wed 31-Dec-08 19:37:42

ACTUALLY

tigermoth went on to say...

"I then took a break from mumsnet while I did some decorating and came back here a few days before christmas, purely to wish people happy christmas. I had a quick scan through talk and realised something was up with the oldies. I had no time to find out what. I posted a happy christmas message and left again.

I was then emailed a link to the Moldies site which was one and the same as the site I had been told about earlier."

LadyThompson Wed 31-Dec-08 19:38:09

Mmm. Fagging. It did seem a bit like that, occasionally. I wonder who they're getting to toast the crumpets at Moldie Towers? grin Seriously, though, the departure of a few doth not a Wasteland make. Mumsnet won't wither just because a few chipsters want to whisper amongst themselves. Actually - that's being unfair, I am sure they are just chatting about the same old stuff we are. (Which begs the question: why did they leave in the first place?) I like the fact that trillions of people are on MN, because to misquote Forrest Gump, you never know what you are gonna get.

Rhubarb Wed 31-Dec-08 19:38:28

No Piffle, I don't. smile

FrannyandZooey Wed 31-Dec-08 19:38:55

rhubarb i thought you had been posting all over the site about ways MN can move on from this

you should follow your own advice imo

GeorgeBailey Wed 31-Dec-08 19:38:56

"I was then emailed a link to the Moldies site which was one and the same as the site I had been told about earlier. I didn't realise until then. I joined a couple of days ago."

And?

Piffle Wed 31-Dec-08 19:39:15

thanks for confirming Rhubs!

TheFallenMadonna Wed 31-Dec-08 19:40:46

Roffle at GeorgeBailey.

Are you hoping for the heartwarming reunion too?

SwedesInADirtyMacAndSunglasses Wed 31-Dec-08 19:40:47

Re the newspapers. The story wasn't the Moldies. The story was middle-class women, with good spelling, swearing like truckers.

FrannyandZooey Wed 31-Dec-08 19:40:55

lol georgebailey have you reregged to save us all from rack and ruin then?

GeorgeBailey Wed 31-Dec-08 19:41:33

Oh, I wish, franny - where's Clarence when you need him?

TotalChaos Wed 31-Dec-08 19:41:54

I presume that the tigermoth post is being requoted as suggesting that moldies has been recruiting new members very recently. But I would interpret it that tigermoth had already been accepted as a member ages back, when sent the first e-mail. and that being sent the recent e-mail was just reminding her where to find the site.

FrannyandZooey Wed 31-Dec-08 19:42:34

it's an extraordinary name to choose if you are not having a laugh

Lizzylou Wed 31-Dec-08 19:42:40

That's how I took it TC, but hey, what would I know?

TotalChaos Wed 31-Dec-08 19:44:06

maybe we are thinking too deeply about this. blush grin

NoShitSherlock Wed 31-Dec-08 19:44:19

Custy/rhubarb - Might not be allowed to ask this but feel the need too. What Brighton people have gone? Very as I love my brighton girlies. (custy I used to be oiwhatsoccurring)

Nighbynight Wed 31-Dec-08 19:44:45

"watches his world going to rack & ruin when he's not in it "

I cant help laughing, sorry.

tigermoth Wed 31-Dec-08 19:45:05

Rhubarb, thanks.

I also hope to stick around here - nothing so far has dislodged me, but I do feel sad at how things seem to be (and not entirely sure of all the details).

Happy New Year to you!

tigermoth Wed 31-Dec-08 19:49:04

To clarify, I was invited some time ago but didn't realise, then I was forwarded the link again after I posted a happy christmas thread.

SwedesInADirtyMacAndSunglasses Wed 31-Dec-08 19:53:55

"watches his world go to shit when he's not in it"
The arrogance is tragic.

KerryMumbles Wed 31-Dec-08 19:56:00

lol

oh come on.

The worst thing is that they realize now that mn is so so much better without them.

Trully.

FrannyandZooey Wed 31-Dec-08 19:57:15

you know i think some people must be name changing and pretending to be moldies to stir
eg georgebailey

cos that's going just a bit too far

GeorgeBailey Wed 31-Dec-08 19:57:41

I said "when he's not in it" - not meaning "because he's not in it" - although of course that is the plot - hmm - didn't think that one through (arrogance inferred, not intended) - blush

stops digging.

Oh well, it's given you a bit of a laugh, hasn't it.

Threadworm Wed 31-Dec-08 19:57:46

"GeorgeBailey is the hero in It's a Wonderful Life who watches his world going to rack & ruin when he's not in it"

Gosh. I'm stunned by the grandiosity of that choice of name, then.

Threadworm Wed 31-Dec-08 19:58:07

x-post, sorry.

TheFallenMadonna Wed 31-Dec-08 19:58:38

Joke. Surely to goodness?

KerryMumbles Wed 31-Dec-08 19:58:39

ya think franny?

on mn really know for sure I surmise...

SwedesInADirtyMacAndSunglasses Wed 31-Dec-08 19:58:40

Franny - I agree.

Nighbynight Wed 31-Dec-08 19:58:43

its what you might call a freudian slip, then

PantomimeMoldieVillain Wed 31-Dec-08 20:02:08

right i have come to poke you all with big sticks

and tell you how we sacrifice goats

SwedesInADirtyMacAndSunglasses Wed 31-Dec-08 20:02:25

It's a surprising mistake given the average IQ of the average Moldie is apparently 250% higher than the average Mumsnetter.

SwedesInADirtyMacAndSunglasses Wed 31-Dec-08 20:03:31

<fires tranquiliser dart at pantomime moldie>

Piffle Wed 31-Dec-08 20:04:16

just 250% <sceptical> grin

DeletedDueToTedium Wed 31-Dec-08 20:04:41

<slumps in heap>

Threadworm Wed 31-Dec-08 20:04:45

Is that the evil Lord Moldievort, She Who Shall Not Be (Accurately) Named?

PantomimeMoldieVillain Wed 31-Dec-08 20:05:09

i was in the moldies
oh yes
i know nothing all about it
well i can make stuff up

GeorgeBailey Wed 31-Dec-08 20:05:49

Not 250% higher - just 250

LoneStranger Wed 31-Dec-08 20:16:36

OK, now that there seems to be a space in the clearing, free from talk about bum-sex [eeew!], pasta sandwiches and other rivetting stuff wink, can i say, if i may?

yes some moldies have offered their apologies, but i recall a fair few posting "im not sorry, i have done nothing wrong, i have nothing to apologise for." (of course i am paraphrasing).

others seems to be saying "ok, yu were upset. it wasnt intentional. there, there, it will all be better soon" (well that's my interpretation). i just feel those who are posting with a 'high chest' to be quite irritating. sorry, but i do. just FEELS like some kind of Band Aid truce. it hurts because it doesnt feel like real empathy and an absence of conciliation. i dont presume for a moment that there was any ill intent, but my strongest feeling is that those involved were too busy being 'specisl', 'snide' and 'secretive' that they became wreckless as to what the feelings and consequences of their exclusive set-up could be. if i am honest i dont see a real solution to all this.

Ponders Wed 31-Dec-08 20:16:48

belatedly adds wink

Blu Wed 31-Dec-08 20:43:59

I'm a mouldy old blu cheese, from time to time.

I have no criticism of MN, I enjoy MN, I love many MN-ers, I have not left MN...I am genuinely sorry about people who have felt hurt and left out of all this. But in all truth, although the mechanism of a closed site is fundementally problematic as a gathering of people who met on an open site, I don't recognise the Moldie-party-line ethos that is described here. Nor any level of snideyness or superiorness by virtue of Moldieness. I expect there are people who some posters would feel are capable of that with or without moldies - on moldies and on MN alike! Wouldn't you?

Anyway, though there are people who want to know who posts on moldies, people who don't, (so sorry to those!), I don't want to be misleading to those who feel strongly about it all. So I'm saying.

I post in Moldies because there are posters there I communicate with and who left MN a long time ago and for all sorts of (non anti-individual-MN-er reasons), and because it has been very very useful for me to be able to post about a particular issue that is not google-able or acessible on the www. It isn't just my privacy , but other people's. I do recognise the unreconcilable principle between an open site and a closed one. But for me personally I communicate with many different cyber-friends in many different ways. That is one of them.

Anyway, it's a risk - people I like and respect may well give me a wide berth, maybe not.

Happy New year, anyway.

saltiresaysSANTA Wed 31-Dec-08 21:08:37

Well. I ahven't yet posted any comments on this, as have been too busy catching up on threads. Also have had 1/2 litre of wine so this may not make any sense.

I totally get how many people are feeling hurt by this - I was when I heard about Moldies, although I wasn't surprised, had "read between the lines" of a few posts made by people I now know to be moldies. I am under no illusions that I would have been considered, I didn't even get an email from anyone (even those molides I email) saying "look Saltire we are really sorry about this", and I hardly feature on anyones radar.. To find out like Custy did that she had been nominated and then refused must be doubly difficult to deal with. I only have the email addresses of 4 mumsnetters, 2 of them I know to be Molides, 1 I'm not sure about and the last one is someone who is lovely and is devastated by this as she considered most of them to be friends, and I certianly consider her to be my friend even though I have never met her. I've never (not for the want of trying) met a MN in RL.

I find it very difficult to make friends, in 7 different parts of the country in 15 years, I suffer terrible insecuriteis and, I'll be honest, depression at times as well. MN is my release, and I feel, well I'm not sure how I feel about all of this, hurt maybe, angry maybe. I'm not sure. Sorry if it's waffling

KerryMumbles Wed 31-Dec-08 21:27:40

hands saltire a glass of vino.

TWINSETinapeartree Wed 31-Dec-08 21:28:56

I am going to stop reading these threads now as I keep forgetting about this but everytime it resurrects another little bit of me starts to dislike moldies.

I think it is bloody outrageous that you chose to reject Custy, who on earth do you people think you are?

It is all very well saying that the moldies are nice people but you have acted in a very unpleasant way IMO.

saltiresaysSANTA Wed 31-Dec-08 21:31:44

Kerry - thanks, hope it's white. 1/2 a litre is not a good idea this early on Hogmanay!

KerryMumbles Wed 31-Dec-08 21:33:20

you're in luck. I've got white and red

for now wink

LedodgyChristmasjumper Wed 31-Dec-08 21:36:23

You know what if you all keep posting on this thread by the time it ends everyone will be oldies or moldies or whatever. Happy New Year. grin

TWINSETinapeartree Wed 31-Dec-08 21:44:44

You have driven me to drink, going to the pub.

KerryMumbles Wed 31-Dec-08 21:45:37

OMFG!

xdh just called and said he would do the sleep out all night for a place in that secondary school for ds1! shock

thud.

thud.

thud.

TotalChaos Wed 31-Dec-08 21:46:11

do you trust him not to fall asleep in the queue???

KerryMumbles Wed 31-Dec-08 21:48:35

well that's the only problem. Will he fight his corner if someone tries to jump the queue?

KerryMumbles Wed 31-Dec-08 21:49:27

I'm sure everyone will be sleeping. The problem is they opened the gym last year to let people in at 4 a.m. and the queue got all jumbled up. He needs to maintain his place.

revjustaboutwipestheslateclean Wed 31-Dec-08 22:05:50

Saltire's post really moved me, and I was thinking about it in the bath! smile

I think she's hit on something very important, which is how much different people in different ways can rely on Mumsnet, to fill a gap in their lives - work, family, local friends - it isn't JUST a website, it's the cyberequivalent of a local pub. We all have our different reasons for being regulars, and perhaps sometimes those reasons are more about us and our cybermates than Mumsnet itself, just as a regular hangs out at a local pub for more than the fine quality of the bottled beer.

But I think Mumsnet is rather a special cyberspace, in that it gives people an enormous freedom to be who they want - to namechange, to have fantasies, jokes, anxieties, shared burdens, silly stories and aching griefs all online, an enormous mix of the best of modern womanhood, all jumbled up together with arguments about disposable nappies and the right time to wean. We are all actually very privileged to be part of Mumsnet, at least I think so, it is a huge resource for so many people and i think in twenty/fifty/twohundred years time historians of the Web will look back on Mumsnet as one of the great growing points of British civilisation in cyberspace.

That is the spirit of Mumsnet, I think, and whilst hats off to Justine and Carrie etc for creating/maintaining/being stern techs, I think the spirit isn't so much about the founders as the posters - all of us, the lurker who suddenly gets involved, the addicts who can't keep away, the weirdo who is always namechanging and the one-off who pops by with an embarrassing query, never to return again. There is an enormous generosity in Mumsnet to the unknown, the outsider, and to be frank I think that must be what sites such as Moldies inevitably lose out on - the outreach of friendship, the hand of help or the silly rude story shared with a total stranger, day by day.

But precisely because sites such as Moldies, who have closed memberships, CAN'T have that, I think we who are Mumsnetters need to be very careful that we don't destroy the spirit of generosity we are rightly famous for, by continuing to demonise the "others," who have themselves in a funny way turned into the outsiders. We need to show the Moldies the same spirit of generosity that we were shown when we came to Mumsnet, not so that Moldies closes down but so the two sites can continue to co-exist, side by side.
New Year and Auld Lang Syne and all that. Let's have a beer with the folks who go to the other pub too. There, I'm all sentimental and I've said quite enough.

(is ushered off by MrJustabout, given a large glass of whisky and told to be quiet)

hunkermunker Wed 31-Dec-08 22:14:52

Funny, rev, I thought earlier it was very much like changing which local pub you go to most often but still visiting the one that used to be your regular - maybe dropping back for the pub quiz or to talk about improving the garden (should there be a children's play area right next to the smoking area; should we put in a rattan screen with some nice plants growing up it?).

I've got the message from some that I'm not welcome, and especially not welcome to talk about MN improvements, but I'm not a shrinking violet, I haven't been rude to anybody, I have apologised if I've upset anyone and I won't feel bad for posting on another site as well as this one and certainly not whilst MSN, email, Facebook groups and passworded blogs exist - or namechangers on here that change to attack, for that matter.

LedodgyChristmasjumper Wed 31-Dec-08 22:16:15

<Waves to Hunker.>

hunkermunker Wed 31-Dec-08 22:23:23

Hey, Dodge! smile

compo Wed 31-Dec-08 22:26:37

happy new year Hunker smile

SaintGeorge Wed 31-Dec-08 22:26:49

To continue the pub & beer analogy, imagine someone from the pub invites a few friends around for coffee.

Just because they like a quiet cup of coffee together sometimes, it doesn't mean they've become teetotal.

lucy678 Wed 31-Dec-08 22:30:22

Why is it so outrageous that people have not wanted someone to join? Surely if everyone were in then it would just be Mumsnet and therefore be no point.

Maybe (gasp) not everyone on mumsnet likes everyone else!

compo Wed 31-Dec-08 22:32:35

cos there is a,ot of history btw posters like Custy who have met other posters in real life.... sorry have been at the wine and am slurring abit grin

revjustaboutwipestheslateclean Wed 31-Dec-08 22:32:40

Hunkermunker, I think you misread what I said. That sentence

"Let's have a beer with the folks who go to the other pub too" did not mean they only went to the other pub. It meant they went to both pubs. It was about trying to make people like you welcome on Mumsnet longterm, if you wanted to stay.
My apologies for the ambiguity.

hunkermunker Wed 31-Dec-08 22:40:06

Happy New Year, Compo (and all!).

Rev, I was agreeing with you grin

NewPork Wed 31-Dec-08 22:42:23

But you can meet people and not like them can't you?

revjustaboutwipestheslateclean Wed 31-Dec-08 22:42:33

Oh - OK - must drink more whisky -

Nighbynight Wed 31-Dec-08 22:47:56

ho hum.
the other pub isnt a pub though. Its a feckin golf club. And we know what we think about those

DaddyJ Wed 31-Dec-08 22:49:26

Pub analogy is a good one.

It started with a small cosy pub, a group of regulars and two landladies.
So far so good. Pub grows and becomes more and more popular.
Landladies try and accommodate the influx but in the process a hardcore
of old regulars feel marginalised.
Eventually a group of disenchanted regulars set up their own private members pub
with only a select few (well, 150) invited from the original place.

Fair enough, things change, people change - everyone should be happy, right?

expatinscotland Wed 31-Dec-08 22:53:18

I hear ya, hunker.

I post on Moldies. I didn't veto people. I did nominate. But unfortunately at the time all that was on I was offline altogether because I'd just had a baby and my folks were here.

I don't post things on there I wouldn't or haven't posted on here. I've never been one to hide my feelings and that's pretty obvious.

If that makes me persona non grata to some, well, c'est la vie.

I'm still who I am there as much as here or any of the OTHER sites or blogs, some of them invite or subscription-only and some of which have areas not every member can post on. Last I checked, that's all allowed in the cyber world.

Meh.

It's new years. There will be a lot of moving on for us as for a lot of people, not just online, but in a lot of ways.

cocolepew Wed 31-Dec-08 22:54:27

Oh i wouldn't like to join a club. You might have to wear a tie.

onebatmotherofgoditschilly Wed 31-Dec-08 22:57:03

I don't think it's the posting in two places that's the problem, though, is it? That's a bit of a red herring that keeps coming up.

I don't think that there is a single person who would have a problem with a breakaway MN knitters site, for example.

It's the processes that were gone through in making the other place (and therefore the nature of the relationship between there and here) that is the problem, for most people, I think.

As nighbynight says, it's the golf club bit that's difficult.

hunkermunker Wed 31-Dec-08 22:58:42

Actually, DaddyJ, that happened in RL to me - local pub, bit down-at-heel and largely frequented by the same bunch of regulars (except at weekends), got taken over by big chain, refurbished, totally changed the atmosphere (changed the name of the pub fgs!), the regulars mostly left (a fair few spent more time at home or each others houses), but still popped back for a drink from time to time as they still lived locally.

I realise some will think this made up for the purposes of this topic, but that's up to them!

2newyearshoes Wed 31-Dec-08 22:58:45

this week I had a problem.
there was only one person who I knew could help me.
sadly she had left mn for pastures new.
I contacted another x mn person and asked her to ask said person to email me.
first person did and helped me solve the problem.
so just cos for what ever reason some people have decided mn is not for them and gone elsewhere, that doesn't seem to have turned them in to uncaring people(thanks to LL and twiglet)

hunkermunker Wed 31-Dec-08 23:02:04

OBM, has there been a Moldie come on and say "We're totally happy with the way the site was working for the fleeting time when OBM was posting and nothing's changed since"?

I don't think there has.

onebatmotherofgoditschilly Wed 31-Dec-08 23:02:07

Although that is the magic cure for any pissed-offness, in truth. Oh look, there's Clive from the Golf Club, and his friend Barry with the very white shoes...signs himself Esq... refers to the lady wife... mein host.. engraved tankard.. Jag..

expatinscotland Wed 31-Dec-08 23:03:43

K, well, I didn't invent the process. I got asked and it sounded good so I joined. I also post in other places with similar processes. I don't have a problem with that because it's not my board and if and when I don't like the rules someone else has on their board then I won't go there.

Some people have a problem with it, others don't.

Fair play to them all.

KerryMumbles Wed 31-Dec-08 23:05:38
onebatmotherofgoditschilly Wed 31-Dec-08 23:09:59

No, hunker. That would have been suicide, though, wouldn't it?

And actually, there have been a few (though far fewer than did on Moldies) who have shrugged noncommitally. And there have been plenty who have waved the red herring.

I think it's been one of those things that, once you see it written down and 'out there', you realize sounds pretty crap and reflects badly on all concerned.

A bit like the Sindie.. wink

ilovelovemydog Wed 31-Dec-08 23:10:04

Kermit! I was going to marry him when I was 4 years old - either him or Ernie (Bert was a bit, um, weird)

KerryMumbles Wed 31-Dec-08 23:11:18

lol @ dog. but I guess it's no more less likely than a piggy and a frog! grin

onebatmotherofgoditschilly Wed 31-Dec-08 23:18:02

"A pint of your finest, please, biermeister" grin

Cheers everyone, Happy New Year, really. Off to avoid Jools Holland. (Why? How did he ever get into his position?)

DaddyJ Wed 31-Dec-08 23:18:39

No, I believe you, hunker.
The error was mine: there are no private members pubs.

NN's analogy works better.

KerryMumbles Wed 31-Dec-08 23:19:54

damn just reread my post. I meant a dog and a frog no less likely than a pig and a frog.

blush

SmilleysPeople Wed 31-Dec-08 23:20:08

You know FWIW, I've posted rather negatively about Moldies (I probably have no real right to post on it al all as I am rarely here )mainly because it smacks to me of a bit of a popularity club, an in crowd, mumsnet royalty or whatever poele want to call them, and that type of thing has always been a real turn off for me, at least since I've been an adult anyway.

That element of mumsnet was apparent and distasteful to me when I initially joined 2 years ago and I have sporadically commented on it ever since.

My negative attitude to Moldies stems from for me it somehow epitomising this 'most popular' girl stuff.

BUT it also seems to me that there is a real double standard to some extent from those left behind who are critising Moldies. As thier main critism seems to be THAT THEY WEREN'T INVITED. Not that it's a dispicable orgainsation of which they would have had no part, but just that they are not in the club.

It would have been OK if they'd been asked because then they'd have been happy in the club with the popular girls and would they then have worried about all those that still hadn't been asked?

I think you can only really critise Moldies if you are 100% confident that if asked you would have declined because you would have viewed it as an organistaion with which you would not want to be involved.
Or if you are confiednt tht if initially jioning, the process of vetoing (as we understand it) would have caused you to leave in protest.

MP and Onebat can hold thier heads up high in this respct, would you have been like them or would you have just liked being a part of it and not really worried about those left out?

I think poele need to seriously ask themselves this question, because unless you are certain you would have acted with 100% integrity if asked than I don't think you are in a position to critise or complain about those that did join.

personally, I'm 100% confident I would not have joined and 100% certain I would never have been askedgrin

expatinscotland Wed 31-Dec-08 23:21:34

Kermit was gay, ilove. Sorry, but anyone could see that Miss Piggy was so his fag hag.

Threadworm Wed 31-Dec-08 23:23:12

I don't think you can assume that they would have joined if invited can you smiley? On what basis? And yo certainly can't assume that if they did go along they wouldn't have thought better of it quickly.

Threadworm Wed 31-Dec-08 23:24:09

There's a difference between feeling shit about being rejected and actually wanting to join.

SmilleysPeople Wed 31-Dec-08 23:24:41

I'm assumig nothing.

I'm saying poeple need to ask themselves those questions and then only really critise if they are sure they wouldnot have joined.

that's all.

josmithy Wed 31-Dec-08 23:28:10

I'm posting from NZ. You do realize you're a laughing stock with all this Moldie business don't you? This is what happens on the internet. People move on. Shouldn't you.

Happy New Year to the UK.

KerryMumbles Wed 31-Dec-08 23:28:21

oh no smileys there's no way on this earth\universe\dimension\space-time continuum that I would have ever joined...

grin

SmilleysPeople Wed 31-Dec-08 23:29:16

Well critise away then kerry.....grin

Dragonbrandybutter Wed 31-Dec-08 23:34:25

why a laughing stock josmithy?
have you looked at the rest of the site?

Threadworm Wed 31-Dec-08 23:34:41

So, josmithy, you joined MN just for that gem did you?

hunkermunker Wed 31-Dec-08 23:41:02

She has a point though - google "mumsnet moldies"

Anyway, I'm going to go back to posting as and when I feel like it on MN - and wherever else I fancy.

If people who have never liked me anyway want to continue to dislike me, that's cool.

If people who did like me want to think ill of me, I'm sad about that. Maybe it'll all be fine again one day.

But if I keep posting on threads such as this, I'm not doing anyone any favours, least of all me!

HNY, all. May 2009 bring you love, laughter and Botox for your wrinkly bits.

Nighbynight Thu 01-Jan-09 00:11:21

smileys people makes a good point.
I think I would have joined and then like OBM, left when brought up against the reality of it.

the bonding on the moldie site must be very strong, as so few people have left it.
But I still think it will all go titsup when the old guard get fed up with the loud clique.

well, we have had new year here an hour ago, and enough fireworks went off over our town to pay for a 4 bedroom, detached house with garden (can you see what is occupying my mind at the moment lol)
goodbye 2008 - somewhat better than 2007 and 2006 - hello 2009 - peace and prosperity to all.

FiveGoMadInDorset Thu 01-Jan-09 00:14:32

That is truly scary Hunker

Bauble99 Thu 01-Jan-09 00:19:48

That picture of Justine keeps popping up. She must feel like Dorian Gray.

sarah293 Thu 01-Jan-09 09:16:47

not really had a lot of thoughts recently about this but realising who is now missing from mumsnet I think some of the hurt people feel is when you invested time in helping and advising others, then they bugger off and you're not invited it feels like rejection. Like your help wasn't appreciated cos obviusly they didn't think to let you come play too.
I reckons that sums up some of the hurt.
Makes me think why bother to be honest.

fizzbuzz Thu 01-Jan-09 09:50:20

I've missed all of this (been ill)

Who's actually gone?

BumpermightsuetheSindie Thu 01-Jan-09 10:21:18

Ok, so I made the mistake of googling mumsnet moldies and someone was commenting on my bloody username FFS here.

TotalChaos Thu 01-Jan-09 10:22:53

I broadly agree with Rev - if we are all keen on MN being this great big inclusive site - then we shouldn't be saying any group of people (well other than destructive trolls) should just bog off.

wotsits Thu 01-Jan-09 10:40:30

Okay, have been following the moldies thing since it kicked off, and have not commented. Just want to say, following Bumper's link: "the fuff word"! The FUFF WORD???

WTF!! grin

GoldenMoldie Thu 01-Jan-09 10:42:06

I am a moldie. I vetoed people. It was brilliant.

LIZS Thu 01-Jan-09 10:43:01

I agree in part with Smilleyspeople and on that basis I don't think I can bear ill will against individuals who chosoe to post on MN too. Whether the whole set up was made clear on the invitation I don't know but I can well believe that some just joined without thinking of the consequential fallout. Presumably a system for further invites was set up by the original participants and then changed, although the www is a notoriously difficult format to negotiate such technicalities democratically.

However feelings have long since moved on from merely being long standing mnetters excluded from MN Oldies, that is farily short term adn more easily got over. Things took a more dubious turn once the original nomination sytem and the nominate/veto system became known especially among those whose names have apparently come up and were deliberately excluded or ignored.

I wonder if it operates in reverse - once someone on Moldies shows themselves in a different light to the assumed persona perhaps, disagreeing iwth established posters or views, can they be nominated and vetoed off ? I strongly suspect the sense of security and trust won't last long term, after all how well do you know a friend of a friend of a friend, even in RL.

sorry I know this is a thread about moulides BUT

shock

Kermit was GAY??????????????

really?????

DaddyJ Thu 01-Jan-09 11:04:07

hunker, to discriminate against you would be against the MN ethos,
it would also deprive a lot of mums of your bf advice
so I don't think you have too much to worry about.

A little more empathy would help, though, and I was surprised
that you of all people are clinging on to this rather provocative 'I am alright Jack' line.
Don't know about the rest of mold town but you are usually quite hot on empathy
what with being a prominent member of the MN breastapo (fnar fnar) and staunch anti-Nestle campaigner.

And now suddenly it seems like you are taking a leaf out of Nestle PR's strategy manual..

'Nothing to see here, move on folks, don't be so ridiculously emotional fgs,
it's just a little formula, perfectly normal, won't harm anyone, now put your emotions and your tits away,
nobody wants to see that in public, you oversentimental funny woman hahahah' etc etc

It hasn't worked for Nestle so why do you think it will work for you?
Is pretending that everything is suuper dahling really the way forward?

I hold you in high esteem for your work in the parts of MN that really matter.
It is entirely irrelvant where else you post but seeing you belittle other people's feelings of hurt and anger is a curious sight.

SoupDragon Thu 01-Jan-09 11:05:46

josmithy is absolutely right. This is all f-ing ridiculous and laughable.

fizzbuzz Thu 01-Jan-09 11:12:54

But who has gone? <wails> Someone pleeeze tell me?

Cod?
Twiglet?
MB? I have miss her, we used to chat on secondary threads all the time
Little Lapin? (although I didn't think she had been a member that long)
Who else?????

LIZS Thu 01-Jan-09 11:16:10

fb you may think those are conspicuous by their absence but plenty of others are still posting on here or both. Naming names is a bit futile.

Tortington Thu 01-Jan-09 12:09:56

yeah i'll miss MB, hope she comes on

SoupDragon Thu 01-Jan-09 12:48:21

TBH, I'm not surprised a number of them left. Let's face it, they had very good reasons for doing so and very good reasons for monitoring membership. If MN hadn't had the recent influx of nasty, spiteful trolls then this wouldn't have happened.

Rhubarb Thu 01-Jan-09 12:57:15

Mumsnet would not discriminate against anybody, that's the joy of mumsnet. For me, I was one of those who said I was uncomfy with the whole aspect of Moldies conversing with me and I admitted that was my problem.

All these analogies are lovely but wrong.

The Moldies site was meant to be a secret, never to be leaked onto Mumsnet. So it's not like people going to a different pub, it's about a group of people getting together behind everyone's back and having a secret little club.

Moldie members could invite Mumsnetters, but then other Moldies (it used to be done in public on Moldie but I'm now told it's done by a select few) could veto that person. So the secret pub-goers could suggest letting Bob in on their secret, they would discuss between themselves the merits of having Bob in their group and then a couple of people who didn't like Bob would veto him.

Therefore friends would invite friends and it all made for a very exclusive, very secret club.

Once their secret was threatened, certain Moldie members tried to lie their way out of it and we are still told contradictory things. So imagine the pub goers found out about the secret club but they still weren't allowed in and different people were told different things about it. So Bob got to find out that he had been nominated but had been vetoed - he will never know who by, so now he wonders who, of his friends, he can trust.

VVVQV is reported to have said that invites had been sent to those not invited previously but that had accepted this graciously. This has been denied, as it would! So you hear about more and more naff things, extraordinarily arrogant and bad behaviour, all of which is denied. But whilst members of that group still post on Mumsnet, you don't feel (I don't feel) that you can trust them. Because we may never find out who is telling the truth and who is not.

And all the time, the Moldies site lurks in the background, you don't know when they will start recruiting again or if the Moldies who post here will be part of that recruitment team.

Franny - yes I have been posting about how to move on. And I hope Mumsnet does move on. But I don't think this will ever be resolved whilst Moldies still lurks, secretive as ever, in the background.

Yes, to forgive is divine, but it's very hard to forgive when they themselves have hardly held out the olive branch. A few members have apologised, but the site is still secret, it will never open it's doors to the likes of us and we are still told contradictory things about the way it works. So whilst the lying and secrecy prevail, I personally will find it very hard to trust their members or have any respect for them.

Rhubarb Thu 01-Jan-09 13:01:59

Soupy, we've all been affected by trolls. Custy has been stalked, disgusting personal comments about her have been made which is why she no longer has her photo on her profile etc. Yet she'll never have the priviledge of posting on a private site, because some of those feckers decided she wasn't good enough.

Yes, I can understand why some Moldie members became members. ggg for example, who was lovely enough to call me. It's not the reasoning behind Moldie that is at fault - we can all see the benefits behind a site full of old friends that is private, away from trolls. It's the way it has been conducted and the bits of information fed to people on Mumsnet to make it all much more hurtful and upsetting - how do you think people know they were nominated and then vetoed?

The reason Moldie exists is not the issue - it's the behaviour of it's members and the treatment of other Mumsnetters.

NoShitSherlock Thu 01-Jan-09 13:04:20

Rhubard that was perfect you covered everything nicely

SoupDragon Thu 01-Jan-09 13:07:58

Well, She could have set one up, Rhubarb. There are plenty of people who could have helped.

People deal with that kind of sh*t in different ways.

"The Moldies site was meant to be a secret, never to be leaked onto Mumsnet"
I certainly remember seeing it talked about when it was "launched"

Flihgtattendant Thu 01-Jan-09 13:09:02

Erm, Hunker. I kind of wanted to take up one little point you made. It was part of that pub analogy.

I can see the bit about regulars popping back to see the other regulars that still went there, etc etc etc

but coming back to have your say on how the garden looks and which chairs to get - I mean ffs if you did that in real life I think the new clientele would say 'F off, why do you care - you hardly even come in here any more! Go and sort out your own blardy garden' iyswim.

If you're not using it then I don't see why you shoudl get to say how it is run. Although that is an argument purely within the analogy - you do use it of course and therefore have the same right to an opinion on the decor as anyone else here.

Just not entirely sure why you care about this place, or want to hang around enough to use the facilities, if you have another better site over thar. I don't really get that bit, not being snidey, just honest.

Rhubarb Thu 01-Jan-09 13:17:10

Soupy - this is what I mean about snippets of info leaking onto Mumsnet to stir things up by Moldies.

Apparently it was set up in case Mumsnet went down during the Gina Ford debacle. But not really used. Then it got going again and people were enlisted to help - enlisted in secret. Members were told not to mention anything about it to anyone else.

Certain threads before Christmas on the Moldie site were saying things like "Phew, that was close, we were nearly caught there!" etc.

Trust me, it was meant to be very very secret.

drpumpkinbread Thu 01-Jan-09 13:41:41

what i think upset people was they thought they where posting personal details to people they considered friends, then found out a secrest group was talking about them behing there backs.
not very nice.

drpumpkinbread Thu 01-Jan-09 13:42:21

so how did the fact there was this secret group get out then?, who was it that let it slip?

CoteDAzur Thu 01-Jan-09 13:42:51

I'm amazed people care so much, honestly.

So some oldies decided they want a secret club and talk to themselves. Silly but so what, really?

Blu Thu 01-Jan-09 13:43:05

Just suppose many peope started posting less on MN and then in a different place and never thought anything of it because, having been on MN for years and years, they were posting less and less and no-one noticed they had gone. (just because that's what happens if you are not locked into regular threads or groups...not because anyone pro-actively doesn't care).
Just suppose someone was surprised at the reaction because far from imagining themselves superior or something, they were amnazed that anyone would particularly care where they were or never thought they were important enough to even flounce visibly?
Just suppose NO-ONE was 'vetoed' because they weren't 'good enough' in some way, but there were openly acknowledged personality clashes, and people maybe thought some were 'too good' and that friction would just continue to no good pupose?

The Moldie issue blew up in the middle of a thread in which Twig vented something she felt was personal to her....it wasn't a moldie manifesto, to criticise MN. I don't want to downplay the real upset of individuals who have felt left out by individuals they know and trusted, but I wonder if it would all have seemed do evil if it had been made public in a thread clear of criticim of MN?

FioFio Thu 01-Jan-09 13:43:56

I am on it and at 31 years of age I feel I am responsible enough to make my own decisions

FioFio Thu 01-Jan-09 13:44:35

jesus christ, I have [posted on two threads today and one of them has already been deleted

FioFio Thu 01-Jan-09 13:45:37

and my sincere post has gone and now i just look like a nob as usual

i dont know why i bother. I think i will go back to real life

have a nice new year everyone x

drpumpkinbread Thu 01-Jan-09 13:47:03

seems like some women like to act like school girls in the playground.
nasty ones at that.

well what goes around, comes around i say
kama to them all.

pagwatch Thu 01-Jan-09 13:48:39

is that kama as in kamakazi
grin

Blu Thu 01-Jan-09 13:52:03

And some, pumpkin, just lurve to stir it up and get a big voyeuristic from the fall out!

There is no talking behind people's backs on moldies....but I daresay MSN and facebok groups and e mails buzzes amongst plenty of peolple just like it always has and always will.

This whole thing IS bad enough, I accept. But it has been made worse (as it wil be on any forum) by bystanders cheering everyone on to the bloody end, and then they will pick geefully over the carcasses. Are those people helping those already hurt, not hurt themselves but enjoying the spectacle? (I am not talking about people with carefully and genuinely expressed opnions on ethics etc).

Blu Thu 01-Jan-09 13:52:39

voyeuristic frisson

kokeshi Thu 01-Jan-09 13:52:41

FioFio! Yay!

I like this forum, like an old friend really.

I'm really sorry folks got hurt, that's truely shite.

FioFio Thu 01-Jan-09 13:53:06

sorry I have no idea if that is aimed at me or not. I have been far too busy for the last two weeks to care and I do not care even now

I am rather amazed at the rapid response to the deleting of a thread that asked if some mumsnetters had left though when you put into consideration how long it often takes for mnhq to delete very inflammotry posts, not deleting posts where people have suggested we put the disabled out of their misery and all the rest of it. But who am I to comment?!

I think you ALL need to enjoy new years day, all of you. Go and play with your children and enjoy it all. have a drink if necessary (unless you are a recovering alcholic) But enjoy the day and stop worrying and arguing and being silly <wags finger>

I am off to have a drink of a bottle of cava and eat some roast lamb, onion sauce, mash, creamed leeks, carrots and lamb gravy obv

followed by chocolate roulade

<yum>

ShinyPinkShoes Thu 01-Jan-09 13:53:48

Happy New Year everyone.

Can we not draw a line under this now?

FioFio Thu 01-Jan-09 13:53:58

oh bloody hell i cross posted with kokeshi whilst advising recovering alcolics not to drink blush how embarassing. I love you kokeshi x

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Thu 01-Jan-09 13:54:57

Fio - I'm coming round your's for lunch. envy

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Thu 01-Jan-09 13:55:18

Happy New Year Shiny.

kokeshi Thu 01-Jan-09 13:56:30

Fnar! Most apt, I tell thee.

Go and have a lovely time, Im glad I found you here. Feel the luuuuuuurve man!

Mwah mwah xxx

FioFio Thu 01-Jan-09 13:57:50

my typing and spelling is appalling tooblush no wonder the other thread got deleted. My sincere post was obviously making william wordsworths eyes bleed

if only you lived just down the road like before saggar

Blu Thu 01-Jan-09 13:59:37

I'm sorry i missed your sincere post, Fio!

Shouldn't you be slaving over a hot stove or something?

Happy New Year, everyone.

Flihgtattendant Thu 01-Jan-09 14:01:00

Oh Fio I wondered where you'd been.

ClausImWorthIt Thu 01-Jan-09 14:01:31

It seems to me, after all this angst and millions of words, that it comes down to something very simple.

Mumsnet is an open forum. Therefore anything written here is there for the whole world to see. Moldies is a private forum, which cannot be (easily) accessed by the whole world.

Some people feel the need or actually need to be able to post in private. Others don't actually mind about leaving their drivel words of wisdom for any Tom, Dick or Harry to read.

So far, so straightforward.

But the difficult and hard-to-stomach bit is that I can't go to Moldies if I want to discuss something private. I'm not allowed, because I haven't been invited/have been vetoed.

That's where it's iniquitous.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Thu 01-Jan-09 14:03:10

Yes - there is the issue of a couple of hundred miles Fio. Enjoy your lamb envy

CoteDAzur Thu 01-Jan-09 14:06:38

I actually find it better now that the same group of people aren't clustering around each other on every thread, digressing into personal/private subjects only they understand, and telling people when to stop the conversation.

I'm happy, you're happy. The only MNers unhappy with this setup seem to be the ones who feel jilted by their 'friends' because they weren't deemed worthy for an invite.

Maybe you people should set up a third forum where these unhappy souls can be invited, halfway between your super-secret hideaway and MN, so this whole debate can be put to rest.

Quattrocento Thu 01-Jan-09 14:15:51

Happy new year everyone!

Posting as one who would never even have been considered for membership and even had my name been mooted the bag would have OVERFLOWED with black balls. In fairness, this is something I would never have dreamt of embracing.

Look chaps, we need to embrace the many positive aspects of this mold thingummy. I remain COMPLETELY convinced that it is a good thing overall. See my no prefects post below. We've still got the really good eggs like Expat (who really does rock) and the moulds are happier posting in privacy.

<Hey Kokeshi. Lovely to see you again and thank you for all your help. Qx>

KerryMumbles Thu 01-Jan-09 14:56:14

did you really wonder flight?

Flihgtattendant Thu 01-Jan-09 15:13:37

Yes

dittany Thu 01-Jan-09 15:41:41

Apparently being snubbed causes the same kind of pain as if a person was physically hurt:

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3178242.stm

So that's probably why people still feel the need to talk about it - because they were hurt. And despite the "apologies" (to the gracious forsooth) the moldies haven't addressed the source of that pain - their exclusiveness and their desire to keep certain people out of their hideaway - they might apologise to them but as far as I know they haven't invited them.

I'm sure there are lots of nice moldies, but there was a group who were behaving like a gang and throwing their weight around here. Personally I'm glad they have another forum to vent some of that excess negative energy.

BarryCradshaw Thu 01-Jan-09 15:43:58

This is funny, most popular mumsnetters

Blu Thu 01-Jan-09 15:47:58

LOL grin

RustyBear Thu 01-Jan-09 15:49:45

That was only put on there a couple of hours ago - wonder who it was.....

ClausImWorthIt Thu 01-Jan-09 15:52:07

Brilliant! grin

expatinscotland Thu 01-Jan-09 16:07:01

hey, kokeshi!

i had one beer last night. WHY do i feel like sleeping all day?

oh, yes, that's because DD2 kept me up till 3AM, poor soul.

happy new year, all.

slackrunner Thu 01-Jan-09 16:07:41

ROFL

Cammelia Thu 01-Jan-09 16:08:25

LOLOL

SoupDragon Thu 01-Jan-09 16:09:11

Rather elitist if you ask me.

[quiche]
[snigger]

Dreyfus Thu 01-Jan-09 16:09:19

Hilarious! I love it.

Winehouse Thu 01-Jan-09 16:17:45

Putting my toe in the water here after all the newspaper coverage. Hello!

Paperchase Thu 01-Jan-09 16:19:42

Excellent Wiki entry. grin

<<applauds>>

Hello Winehouse. smile

Winehouse Thu 01-Jan-09 16:20:47

Ooh! Hello Paperchase - thank you for answering.

slackrunner Thu 01-Jan-09 16:23:52

Hello Winehouse

Freckle Thu 01-Jan-09 16:26:32

I am truly shocked by some of the things posted on this and other threads about these supposed vicious, selfish, bitchy, egotistical cows and how their totally secret, yet very well publicised, forum actually works.

A number of people have posted about things that they know, yet, not being members of Moldies, can only be speculating based on their own personal perspectives or imaginations.

I am a member of Moldies and I suspect that my experience there is different from that of most of the other members, because we all joined at different times and the forum has evolved as people have settled in. Each person's experience will be coloured by the way things were at that time and subsequently. So MP's experience of how people are invited to join was valid for her because that is how it worked then, but my experience is very different because it has changed and is constantly changing as people put forward their views. It is like an organic thing which changes and grows. So all of you who have scoured the threads to pick up "lies" and "untruths" because one member's explanation of something differs from another member's have been deluded into thinking that one of them must have lied. But they haven't. They are explaining their own experience.

And I don't understand why so many of you seem to have decided to be completely incandescent about this particular forum when there are undoubtedly loads of others out there about which you know absolutely nothing. You talk about fear of Moldies "recruiting" from MN almost as if it is Al Qaeda and that people who accept will forevermore be turned to the Dark Side. It would be truly laughable if it weren't so sad.

What makes this worse is that MNHQ have absolutely no problem with the existence of Moldies and have communicated at great length with them about how they understand the need for such a forum. If they had also chosen to share these feelings on MN at the outset of all this angst and bitterness, things might not be at this stage, where MN is being mocked internationally and many respected MNers have deregistered because of the bile which has been spewed here.

And I am another one who is deregistering, so if I don't return to respond to whatever bricks you want to throw in my direction, it won't be because I am too scared (an insult which has been hurled at other Moldies), it will be because I have chosen to take no further part here. Some may say that that is no bad thing and good riddance as I also post on Moldies. However, I would point out that you will find no post on here since I first registered many years ago where I have been rude, inflammatory or unfeeling. I have always dealt with everyone with respect and goodwill, offering advice where I can (and which many have indicated they have found helpful). How many others like me have been turned off this site because of the nature of these threads?

So please think carefully before this thread is filled to capacity with more bitterness and yet another thread is started to enable the nastiness to continue.

unknownrebelbang Thu 01-Jan-09 16:27:20

Was there a popularity contest then?

Did I miss it?

ClausImWorthIt Thu 01-Jan-09 16:30:38

So Freckle, do you not understand how those of us not invited to join Moldies might be feeling?

I have not 'spewed' any bile. I have expressed my hurt, like many others. Why is this so difficult to understand and/or accept?

I'm sorry that you feel that you have to deregister, by the way.

dittany Thu 01-Jan-09 16:39:53

If you haven't gone already Freckle, would you mind telling us which posts set you off because I'm not seeing the discussion you're outlining in your post. Either you're imagining it or I'm missing some very nasty posts from non-moldies.

If anything I would say it's you who is making the inflammatory post.

What is still making me angry are the lines appearing in articles and on the web stating that "moldies set up a new site to discuss the issues surrounding older children"

JESUS CHRIST!! Get your facts straight!!!

(Note: I am not a moldie, but from what I can work out, that was NOT the reason for the site being set up, and it makes Mumsnet looks like a discuss page for only nappies, sore boobs and baby poop.)

TWINSETinapeartree Thu 01-Jan-09 16:49:21

I am sorry that you feel upset and feel that you have to leave.

The thing is we cannot see your special site so we have to rely on what people say. Who are people like me to believe, those that clearly want to exclude me from their group or those that I chat to on n equal basis every day.

kokeshi Thu 01-Jan-09 16:52:58

Loads of folk touch your lives in their own way.

I can't be alone in thinking that my life is much richer for knowing something about all of you?

<Tiny wee hijack -
Dead chuffed to see expat and quattro here>

MrsMattie Thu 01-Jan-09 16:54:51

This is just relentlessly pathetic, now. It's the biggest load of navel gazing guff ever seen on MN. For crying out loud, stop it. PLEASE.

ClausImWorthIt Thu 01-Jan-09 16:56:26

Just hide the thread, MrsMattie!

TWINSETinapeartree Thu 01-Jan-09 16:58:26

Hide the thread then, by posting on it all you are doing is ensuring it is on your threads I am on list making it more likely you will post on it.

That is why I keep coming back grin

Flihgtattendant Thu 01-Jan-09 17:01:25

that's a bit odd though Freckle. As far as I can see, there were/are many sensible and honest posts, from both sides, and also a few nasty bitter ones again from both sides.

Saying that the nastiness caused by the revelation that another group existed is a valid and compelling reason to deregister is kind of, well,

hang on a minute.

I'm confused now.

You joined another group
most people didn't know about it
It got uncloaked
Lots of people got really upset, a few were nasty about it (from both sides)
MN got some press coverage
MN is no longer a nice place to be, so you are leaving on a wave of embarrassment that you are part of the site.

hmm sorry, I don't think that truly follows.

sarah293 Thu 01-Jan-09 17:07:49

still going?
love the wiki site grin

TWINSETinapeartree Thu 01-Jan-09 17:08:08

To be fair to freckle I can understand why she has deregistered, (although I wish she did not have to) while most people are now able to talk about mouldies without resorting to bitchyness and unpleasantness the moudlies have become a thing of ridicule and something to poke fun at. Quite ironic as they started as some kind of uber mumsnetter. I would not want to be still be posting at the moment if I were a modlie it would be a little too uncomfortable.

Quattrocento Thu 01-Jan-09 17:12:01

Can I just (belatedly) applaud the Rev for this post:

"I think we who are Mumsnetters need to be very careful that we don't destroy the spirit of generosity we are rightly famous for, by continuing to demonise the "others," who have themselves in a funny way turned into the outsiders. We need to show the Moldies the same spirit of generosity that we were shown when we came to Mumsnet"

I think that shows a christian spirit of generosity, yes and forgiveness too.

Personally I don't want to see anyone who has a positive contribution to make to MN leaving or deregging.

so what would u make of this addition to the wiki article freckle?

"They are so up their own arses it is unbeleivable and need to accept that not everyone likes them. Hence their bitter dismay about the Moldies site that has upset them for a whole week"

LIZS Thu 01-Jan-09 17:13:25

freckle

TWINSETinapeartree Thu 01-Jan-09 17:13:32

I agree Quattro and Rev, I dont want to see people leave but can understand why they are. I hope though they may filter back.

JoolsToo Thu 01-Jan-09 17:15:24

jeepers creepers what hope for the Israeli/Palestine problems?

ClausImWorthIt Thu 01-Jan-09 17:17:43

Look - there's just one thread to allow those who feel the need to keep posting. If you don't like it or don't want to see it, just hide it. But please accept that for some people there is a need to get this out of their systems.

A bit of empathy wouldn't go amiss sometimes, as well as Christian charity.

TWINSETinapeartree Thu 01-Jan-09 17:18:14

I freely admit I am up my own arse connie. I have said from day one that we need to accept that not everyone likes us. I am very aware that there are mumsetters that don't like me or think that my face doesn;t fit. I wish they woudld be more honest and admit this is about some people liking some people more than others rather than pretend it is about older children.

I have come to the conclusion that the people worst effected by this are some of the moldies. Lots of people are on here because they are shy or have confidence issues. I can see that for some people it would have been very flattering to be asked by mumsnet royalty to join their own private members club. It must now be very hurtful to those people to become an outsider on that websit.e that for years, months or even weeks has provided online friendship and support.

TWINSETinapeartree Thu 01-Jan-09 17:19:26

Jools just because people are posting on here it does not mean they are not posting on other threads or <<shock horror>> talking about those issues in real life.

Flihgtattendant Thu 01-Jan-09 17:19:45

Oh this just gets worse and worse.

For heavens sake will people stop acting like children? Someone sort out wikipedia, please? I don't know how.

Flihgtattendant Thu 01-Jan-09 17:21:20

Oh it's gone, thank goodness. shall we keep it to this thread, ladies?

twinset - the quote is about rhubarb and custardo not all of MN or you......

expatinscotland Thu 01-Jan-09 17:22:13

the Bravo channel is running a Dog, the Bounty Hunter marathon.

it's pretty funny. whoa, this dude he's got in the car right now is way hopped up on something! his eyes are looking all strung out.

Mercy Thu 01-Jan-09 17:22:15

Connie, I don't understand why you asked Freckle that

(FA, the comment has been removed afaik, unless it's got back again??)

TWINSETinapeartree Thu 01-Jan-09 17:22:39

connie I like to think everything is about me grin that is how up my own arse I am!

Flihgtattendant Thu 01-Jan-09 17:23:35

Thanks Mercy. I must say it is easier to spell you now smile

Winehouse Thu 01-Jan-09 17:24:35

TWINSETinapeartree I think that sentence refers to Rhubarb and Custardo specifically, not everyone on Mumsnet.

I'm a bit scared of all this.

Jodee Thu 01-Jan-09 17:25:54

I've been living in a snowcave for the past week and was shocked, when this morning I simply googled "wii fit mumsnet", to see a Femail article about all of this!

frankly I'm not surprised another group has been set up; I've been posting on here since 2001 and there's been a lot of changes, and hey, I've not received an invite either!

Quattrocento Thu 01-Jan-09 17:26:46

Nice attempt to change the subject Expat. What is the Bravo channel? Does that come with Sky?

expatinscotland Thu 01-Jan-09 17:29:00

it's more exciting than this thread, Quattro .

it's on Sky basic package or TopUp TV/Freeview.

TWINSETinapeartree Thu 01-Jan-09 17:29:56

comes with sky and freeview and cable

DaddyJ Thu 01-Jan-09 17:30:40

I invite anyone who feels this thread is vacuous and idiotic
to read this thread instead - a discussion of Social Services and the Care system
that I am sure you will agree is very worthy of our attention.

As a parent you get pretty good at multi-tasking,
and believe it or not some of us are so advanced
we can worry about the people of Gaza, children in care and fellow MNers
at the same time. While feeding a wriggly toddler.

I have had a look at the newspaper articles now
and thought the tone was just a tad patronising
with a hint of misogyny for good measure.

Funny that, as a very similar thing happened some time ago on a prominent forum
mostly frequented by men who talk finance.
The bitching between the two forums persists to this day.
Men, eh? grin

TWINSETinapeartree Thu 01-Jan-09 17:30:49

I am about to watch yet another Perry Mason while eating chocolate and snuggling up with my very cute dog.

ShinyPinkShoes Thu 01-Jan-09 17:31:50

I am watching Shrek 2.

Again- Happy New Year everyone

ClausImWorthIt Thu 01-Jan-09 17:33:23

Good point re the multitasking DaddyJ - it is insulting to insinuate that people posting on here aren't aware or involved in other threads, RL and/or global issues!

And it's only one thread FFS! Or would the Moldies (for it is they who seem to object so) prefer it if none us discussed the issue any more? I thought that MN was an open forum where we could post what we like, but obviously not.

QuintessentialShadow Thu 01-Jan-09 17:33:59

Aside from the ethics of moldies, should we not also discuss the ethics of blogs discussing members behind their backs? Or take issue with members being friends and chatting on msn?

It is amazing that somebody who had (has?) a blog where she discussed (discusses?) mumsnetters behind their backs is so hurt and creates such as fuss over this.

Is it double standards? I dont see why this is anything but the pot calling the kettle black.

Flihgtattendant Thu 01-Jan-09 17:35:12

I am just sat here with a drooping ds asleep on my lap like a long dog.

I am gazing into cyberspace very vacuously. smile

sarah293 Thu 01-Jan-09 17:35:33

given the amount of people looking at this thread I'll take the opportunity to ask a vital question. Can I make raita with just yogurt n cucumber? I don't have any mint. Anything else need to go in it?
grin

tigermoth Thu 01-Jan-09 17:36:30

freckle, I hope you stay on mumsnet, even if it means taking a break for a while.

Flihgtattendant Thu 01-Jan-09 17:36:32

whisky i think

you need whisky grin

sorry riv not a fecking clue

ClausImWorthIt Thu 01-Jan-09 17:36:42

But this thread isn't about blogs QS. And all you're doing now is raising an issue about one particular MNetter, which has nothing to with this thread.

What's the purpose of that?

LedodgyChristmasjumper Thu 01-Jan-09 17:36:55

Do you have a jar of mint sauce? I always still a spoonful of that in when I make raita rather than frsh or dried mint.

Quattrocento Thu 01-Jan-09 17:37:05

QS Noooo - we have declared an amnesty. No more shelling mumnetters I beg of you.

sarah293 Thu 01-Jan-09 17:37:23

whiskey it is then. Best test it first....<falls off chair>

ClausImWorthIt Thu 01-Jan-09 17:37:46

And given that blogs are available for anyone to read, it's hardly going behind someone's back!

Flihgtattendant Thu 01-Jan-09 17:38:05

Oh its time to lay it all out i think

I just want to be friends with everyone, everywhere

I feel like that bloke on the fast show who keeps agreeing with everyone.

I'll get my coat...smile

Rhubarb Thu 01-Jan-09 17:38:25

Oooh nice! I thought I'd inject a bit of humour into the Mumsnet entry on Wiki and we get that very unpleasant comment back.

And you wonder why we are so angry about Moldies? It's because a lot of members of Moldies personally cannot stand either custy or me and have made their feelings very known.

I too think that Mumsnet is a better place without them and their hangers-on. But for Custy, she feels a bit more personally involved because she met them, trusted them, befriended them. Neither she nor I are up our own arses thankyouverymuch. Just bemused like the rest of you.

However I shall that take Wiki comment to be from someone who finds our points of view, our comments, to be so witty and intelligent and popular that they feel threatened by our very existence! wink

Can I ask them all to sod off back to Moldies in that case and take their nasty, snidey little comments with them?

Happy New Year to you all too!

Quattrocento Thu 01-Jan-09 17:38:26

<have I just compared custy to a prawn? Entirely unintentional>

Tell us more about the goggle-eyed dog, Expat.

QuintessentialShadow Thu 01-Jan-09 17:38:39

BecauseIam, are you telling me what I can or cannot post?

Flihgtattendant Thu 01-Jan-09 17:38:56

Gosh i didn;t mean that to happen riv

do you need another snog

i am quite good at it after last night i feel

sarah293 Thu 01-Jan-09 17:39:49

<wipes lips and puckers>
thats Flight is insatiable wink

ClausImWorthIt Thu 01-Jan-09 17:40:02

Not at all, QS. I wouldn't presume to do that on an open forum. I was, though, questioning why have raised a specific issue about a specific poster.

Rhubarb Thu 01-Jan-09 17:45:39

QS - why don't you ask Custy about her blog? It was a public blog, out there for all to see. She was being bullied on Mumsnet and talked about it on her blog, amongst other things. You could read it, as could anyone, you could also post comments on it.

She never mentioned anyone by name, but she did mention threads.

I note that those bullies are now Moldie members and they were the same ones who were constantly jibing her, questioning her mental state, even going so low as to bring her dead mother into it.

Read my blog everyone, it slags off everyone too! But it's fecking public!

Now I'm angry but also pleased that the spite of those Moldies is now being seen.

KerryMumbles Thu 01-Jan-09 17:46:38

rhubs - some of us have seen it all along....

Quattrocento Thu 01-Jan-09 17:53:29

Joy unconfined - I have discovered an extra bottle of champagne!

The only problem is that I have forsaken drinking in January.

<wrestles with conscience>

My conscience needs some support here, because it is fighting a losing battle ...

ClausImWorthIt Thu 01-Jan-09 17:54:21

Could always start January on Monday ...

revjustaboutwipestheslateclean Thu 01-Jan-09 18:00:12

Now you see, there is a need for a NEW thread. Because I don't want to talk about this any more but lots of peopple I like are still chatting on this thread.

I think we should have a new thread called "If you have finished talking about moldies but kind of miss the support and companionship of those who were...." grin

TWINSETinapeartree Thu 01-Jan-09 18:05:30

Can someone who has sky explain to me movies 24 (channel 327) and movies 24+ (channel 328)

Normally a + channel shows the same programme 1 hour on but this one does not seem to. I missed the start of my Perry Mason and thought never mind I will watch it on the + channel but it has something completely different. Are they different channels?

Quattrocento Thu 01-Jan-09 18:07:07

No Sky here Twinset, sorry.

I like the idea of starting January late. Monday. Or better (throws sop to conscience) Saturday.

ClausImWorthIt Thu 01-Jan-09 18:07:36
RustyBear Thu 01-Jan-09 18:09:15
TWINSETinapeartree Thu 01-Jan-09 18:09:33

Am I the only one who has never read these blogs?

Where are these blogs?

soapbox Thu 01-Jan-09 18:09:41

Rhubs, FWIW I found the Wiki entry funny - shame someone had to ruin that with nasty comments!

NotBigJustBolshy Thu 01-Jan-09 18:10:06

It's December the 32nd, Quattro, for those of us with no conscience...

TWINSETinapeartree Thu 01-Jan-09 18:16:38

thanks rusty, that explains why I get confused as they show the same films but there seems no logic to the timings

Mercy Thu 01-Jan-09 18:18:11

Rhubarb, it sounds like you think that Wiki entry addition was made by a Moldie member.

revjustaboutwipestheslateclean Thu 01-Jan-09 18:26:25

(twinset, Quattro, any chance of you visiting my nice shiny new thread? And anyone else who wants to? I want to blag some of that champagne)

sarah293 Thu 01-Jan-09 18:26:33

where are the blogs?

ClausImWorthIt Thu 01-Jan-09 18:27:43

There's a problem with the blogs apparently, according to MNHQ. I tried to have a look earlier and couldn't access them.

Monkeytrousers Thu 01-Jan-09 18:29:20

I am not, and never have been, a moudlie.

TWINSETinapeartree Thu 01-Jan-09 18:30:09

I am on my way rev!

I have read custy's and rhubarbs and found nothing offensive about other mumsnetters

ClausImWorthIt Thu 01-Jan-09 18:30:12

What's a moudlie?! grin

Sounds like some sort of hoodie grin

Monkeytrousers Thu 01-Jan-09 18:34:54

lol Moldie

Monkeytrousers Thu 01-Jan-09 18:35:38

or the colloquial Mowldie

Quattrocento Thu 01-Jan-09 18:35:52

moudlie = scottish pancakey thing for sure. Like cloutie dumplings

SoupDragon Thu 01-Jan-09 19:42:00

TBH, this is enough to make me feel like disappearing from MN.

revjustaboutwipestheslateclean Thu 01-Jan-09 19:43:49

Come and join our silly thread soupdragon, you can resuscitate me. Or join the cult or summat. Don't leave.

southeastastra Thu 01-Jan-09 19:44:09

don't go soupy i love your posts

KerryMumbles Thu 01-Jan-09 19:48:50

THUD!

Who will help me find pictures of gorgeous foreigners?

whitenoise Thu 01-Jan-09 19:50:02

this is getting silly now (i mean more silly than it already was)

VeniVidiVickiQV Thu 01-Jan-09 19:50:51

"VVVQV is reported to have said that invites had been sent to those not invited previously but that had accepted this graciously. This has been denied, as it would! So you hear about more and more naff things, extraordinarily arrogant and bad behaviour, all of which is denied. But whilst members of that group still post on Mumsnet, you don't feel (I don't feel) that you can trust them. Because we may never find out who is telling the truth and who is not"

Funny that you continue to willfully misquote me, put "words in my posts" and generally trying make me out to be some kind of arsehole to suit your assertion that you and custy are being bullied (by me, no doubt). Over and over again, you and custy mention my name in your posts trying to make out that I am the bully. In fact, all you are doing is trying to bully me off the board. With all your "I wont engage with you" shit when time and time again I have extended the olive branches you claim not to have had, and the apologies that you claim to be lacking. I dont know why you dont like me rhubarb, and quite frankly I dont care. But leave me out of your agenda of feeling hurt and wounded because I didnt start the moldies site, I was just a member from the outset in 2007. Stop the snidey digs and adding my name to your misquotes to suit your agenda. I might consider your request to "avoid" you then.

Although, as a fully paid up memeber of Mumsnet, I'll post wherever I like. I wont be bullied off by you. End of.

SwedesInACape Thu 01-Jan-09 19:58:54

<starts to read thread. Stops. Decides it is terribly 2008. Hides thread.>

TotalChaos Thu 01-Jan-09 20:01:27

Rhubarb- as I have said previously - my recollection of VVQVs post was that it was apologies, not invites that were supposedly sent to those who "behaved graciously."

Gosh this reminds me of secondary school when all the popular kids fell out grin and also at the same time

blogs are very differenct to secret societies imo

VVVQV said that apologies were issued to the gracious and worthy....not invites

It seems to me that the problem now with Moldies is not that people have joined but that they aren't leaving it.

Thomcat Thu 01-Jan-09 20:09:26

This is sooooo last year!

VeniVidiVickiQV Thu 01-Jan-09 20:15:28

I was never popular at secondary school, and nor have i been particularly popular on here. I just posted very prolifically for a while. Otherwise I'd be grinning along with that, elf. Sadly, I know full well what it's like to be bullied and picked on, which is why I'm so devastated to have inadvertently made others feel the same. I've been doing my best to try and make amends, and posted with good intention on the "lets talk thread" but it seems that a handfull of posters seem intent to besmirch my name and make stuff up about me to suit their agenda. It's almost as though they've been waiting for a moment like this to haul me through the coals and tell me I shouldnt be here.

I think I'm gonna change my name. I'm fed up of being picked on and having "vvq this" vvvqv that" posted about me in every bust up. I know I fucked up and I know how I fucked up, but I wont have this whole debacle attributed to me as though I am some ringleader with all the "popular" former mners. Far from it.

KerryMumbles Thu 01-Jan-09 20:17:16

speechless

TWINSETinapeartree Thu 01-Jan-09 20:18:43

"behaving graciously "grin This is getting funnier,

Piffle Thu 01-Jan-09 20:20:22

<disbelief that KerryMum is speechless>

whitenoise Thu 01-Jan-09 20:21:44

i don't know what is worse...the fact that people are STILL rowing over this or that people are laughing at the people who are trying to make it right

at least the cards are on the table now

TWINSETinapeartree Thu 01-Jan-09 20:21:47

piffle it wont last grin

TotalChaos Thu 01-Jan-09 20:22:16

Piffle - I have to ask - did your ma suffer from the dodgy meat at all?

VVQV - I don't think anyone should have to change their name.

KerryMumbles Thu 01-Jan-09 20:22:36

pmsl @ piffle.

I know. It's miraculous isn't it? grin

Piffle Thu 01-Jan-09 20:24:01

I'm not sure what the answer is to this constant conflict. The answer is as hard to fathom as Shergars grave...
Or which people wear Boden Fun Cardigans with dogs knitted on them.
Now they are a group worth pursuing and persecuting on long threads.

VVVQV - I was not popular at school either. The only time I think people knew my name was when I had a proper fight with the most popular girl in my year over some gossip that had been told to me. Got very boring but divided the whole school year.

Anyway, sometimes, people just need time to get over everything. The following term, nobody remembered this fight between me and the popular girl, it was business as usual.

VeniVidiVickiQV Thu 01-Jan-09 20:24:48

twinset, i made a flippant, childish comment the other day and then apologised for it. The "apologies to those behaving graciously" thing was just a dig at those, who unlike yourself, were treating this as feeding time at the shark pool. IT's been corrected and restated many times, but some people keep dragging it back up as a "truth" with added extras.

Piffle Thu 01-Jan-09 20:25:17

no Mum was fine... dammit, but the flatulence could have shut any dissenter up...
Nasty incident of granny pebbledash on Gods great white telephone too.
Grim

Lizzylou Thu 01-Jan-09 20:25:45

VVVQV, you don't have to change your name, of course you don't.

It's now 2009, let's just let this drop, eh?

TotalChaos Thu 01-Jan-09 20:26:25

hmmm so possibly she wasn't completely unscathed then....

VeniVidiVickiQV Thu 01-Jan-09 20:27:23

oo-er! me too elf! Although said bully left me alone afterwards so that was one bonus I suppose.

<hides dog-embellished cardi from piffle>

Lizzylou Thu 01-Jan-09 20:27:34

ROFL @ Piffle's Granny pebbledash

VeniVidiVickiQV Thu 01-Jan-09 20:29:42

ewww piffle.....!

Monkeytrousers Thu 01-Jan-09 20:30:19

Name changing is a good tactic VVV - I do it sometimes. Never for malicious reasons but just for a bit of fresh air.

Quattrocento Thu 01-Jan-09 20:30:33

Seriously though, it's not reasonable to ask people to stop being mouldy or by inference leave MN. We can't and we shouldn't. We have to keep welcoming them and hope they like coming here.

<handcuffs expat to MN>

expatinscotland Thu 01-Jan-09 20:32:32

Gotta hand it to Thomcat because she does laconic like no one's business!

Too right.

I was never in the in-crowd in high-school, either. I wore dark eye makeup and red lipstick and brightly-patterned scarves, smoked Gauloises (Blondes), went out with foreigners who were far too old for me, and skived class whenever possible.

TWINSETinapeartree Thu 01-Jan-09 20:33:51

sorry VVVQ I did not mean to drag it up again, I am loosing my place on these threads, cannot compete with who said what and when.

I think I was quite vitriolic when I first found out as I was hurt, now it is funny and sad for moldies caught in the crossfire.

I think a name change may be a good idea, sad but it may help. I found it very hard when I lost my name.

expatinscotland Thu 01-Jan-09 20:35:23

Actually, it was Sherman's Naturettes lights at first.

Oh, and Dunhills from time to time.

TWINSETinapeartree Thu 01-Jan-09 20:35:32

whitenoise I dont think people are laughing at people trying to make it better, the whole situation is quite funny though.

Those of us who are laughing are posting as normal on the rest of the website keeping MN ticking over

Monkeytrousers Thu 01-Jan-09 20:36:44

Of course it isn't. f Mn is the demographic place it's cracked up to be, that would be against the whole ethos. Wouldn;t it?

It would be a very dull place if we all agreed with each other all of the time.

Monkeytrousers Thu 01-Jan-09 20:37:48

That was in response to QC

southeastastra Thu 01-Jan-09 20:38:22

i was actually really cool in school and slept with all the sixth formers

VeniVidiVickiQV Thu 01-Jan-09 20:39:00

Have missed you MT smile

am going to change my name as of this evening. IF anyone is interested in knowing the change, then cat me by all means. But I'm not going to say on the board.

TTFN.

VeniVidiVickiQV Thu 01-Jan-09 20:39:32

You'd have been a curious creature at my all-girls school SEA wink

southeastastra Thu 01-Jan-09 20:40:36

how awful to have gone to an all girls school though

Monkeytrousers Thu 01-Jan-09 20:40:47

VVV can you CAT me please. I can't use it but can receive messages smile