If you (still) feel the need to discuss Moldies, please do it here so folks can hide this if they want to.

(2586 Posts)
LittleDonkeyCarrieMaryMumsnet (MNHQ) Tue 23-Dec-08 12:47:38

Well hopefully the title says it all. There's been a suggestion, and we agree, that as we did with Baby P and the Mc Canns we just have one thread where anyone who feels they still have anything to add on this subject can post and those who'd rather move on can hide it away.

It feels strange to put this thread in site stuff as we are definitely not wanting to encourage further discussion of Moldies (we have presents to wrap too you know grin) but we weren't sure where else to put it.

We will delete any new Moldies threads that are started, so please feel free to report them in case we miss any (what with wrapping the presents and all...)

And if you do want to carry on the discussion please remember that Mumsnet's here to make everyone's lives easier and not the reverse, and that Christmas is a time of goodwill to all mumsnetters past, present and future
<< turns off rousing music and jumps off soapbox >>


LadyOfWaffle Tue 23-Dec-08 12:50:04

Awww, I liked them everywhere, it was like a big food fight. <<lurk>>

Waves cheerily to all
No hard feelings but seriously am off to sort out Christmas, the sausages need purchasing, hte library books need returning and the ham needs boiling {yum]
Try not to go over 1000 posts whilst I'm out and Christmas love to you all grin, moldies and non molides

IAmTheNewQueenOfMN Tue 23-Dec-08 12:53:51

Glad you have done this carrie
as you already know grinI was getting a bit exasperated by it all

you have a much better way of sorting it grin

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor Tue 23-Dec-08 12:54:08

x-posted with Carrie on the other thread so is about to be deleted I assume but I was saying that there were at least three namechangers on that thread (not unfortunatelyme, I got that one wrong) and I didn't see the point in namechanging just to stir up trouble. Surely that is trolling, non?

I'm here!

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh Tue 23-Dec-08 12:54:57

ooo - you're not going to delete the old 1000+ posts ones are you???

Please don't - it was the first (and probably the last) time I've ever had the "last word" on one of them grin

NotanOtter Tue 23-Dec-08 12:55:42

<feels the mumsnet hq lectures on morality are being directed at wrong group >

GoodWilfToAllMN Tue 23-Dec-08 12:56:51

Good idea. And isn't soapbox getting a bit squashed? grin

What are you doing standing on Soapbox???shock

Wilf grin

Dragonbrandybutter Tue 23-Dec-08 12:58:23

oops. will i get in trouble for posting in the moldie factor thread?
i hadn't seen this.

tiredemma Tue 23-Dec-08 12:59:11

Are they being deleted? why?

They should be locked but not deleted

YetMoreTech (MNHQ) Tue 23-Dec-08 12:59:33

Please post r e a l l y s l o w l y so that I don't have to rush to increase the 1000 post limit on this thread.


<wonders who the trolls were>

BrilliantDisguise Tue 23-Dec-08 13:02:47

VS- sorry- I explained my position on the other thread- hope you read it before it was deleted as I don't think I could put it quote as well again....
I am not trolling. That thread was the first time I had commented on moldies.

I'm so glad its been put into one thread, as for some of us, it is the most boring subject and we dont want to have to see loads of threads,

Thank you Carrie.

(You do know I always picture you are Carrie Grant dont you grin)

UnfortunatelyMe Tue 23-Dec-08 13:04:44

Ohh what was said on the other thread? Even with my original name noone would know me.
I just wanted to know if with all the outting whether the moldies would have to have a yellow star new to their namegrin

NorktasticNinja Tue 23-Dec-08 13:05:31

Why not just increase the limit now Tech? Y' know your going to have to do it anyway...

Or maybe it'll just stophmm

morningpaper Tue 23-Dec-08 13:06:55

<squeezes YetMoreTech's knee>

OK I can't post on the other thread but I wanted to say thank you to VV for her post, it was appreciated

NotanOtter Tue 23-Dec-08 13:08:34


yellow star ?- methinks not

much more like that lovely group the MASONS

foxytocin Tue 23-Dec-08 13:09:17

i prefer the idea of locked over deleted.

flowerytaleofNewYork Tue 23-Dec-08 13:11:37

um. What's a moldie when it's at home?

[clueless obviously missing something emoticon]

ilovelovemydog Tue 23-Dec-08 13:13:47

Flowery - some mumsnetters started another forum.

flowerytaleofNewYork Tue 23-Dec-08 13:14:40

oh ok. Thanks smile

VinegarTitsTheSeasonToBeJolly Tue 23-Dec-08 13:15:54

MOLDIES = Mumsnet Ordinary Ladies In Elite Self-righteous groups

Tortington Tue 23-Dec-08 13:37:42

bit pants the other threads are being deleted - there is no point of reference.

Tortington Tue 23-Dec-08 13:39:11

MOLDIES= mediocre old loons do ill-advised elitism shit

YetMoreTech (MNHQ) Tue 23-Dec-08 13:44:37

Who said the old threads were being deleted?

omne has - i clickedon it and it had gone

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh Tue 23-Dec-08 13:45:50

<<<<<<<<holds hand up and says she asked if they were as she was worried that her moment of glory of being the last to post on a full thread was going to disappear........well quicker than it would have anyhow as it's in Chat grin>>>>>>>>>>>>>

VinegarTitsTheSeasonToBeJolly Tue 23-Dec-08 13:46:34

I thought it was just any new Moldie threads that get created from now, that get deleted

morningpaper Tue 23-Dec-08 13:48:06

it will just be new threads surely

otherwise rumour mill will start all over again ad infinitum

Nope - looks like they're all gone.

This is like a scab....I want to ignore it but I can't.

I lie, the 1000+is still there

pooka Tue 23-Dec-08 13:50:20

WHy have the old ones gone, given that they had by now reached capacity. They could have just sat there in chat for the next 90 days and would not have stlill been in active convos?

morningpaper Tue 23-Dec-08 13:50:24

I think they are all there

perhaps they should be moved to classics?

<runs away>

pooka Tue 23-Dec-08 13:50:43

Oh -should have checked blush

Tortington Tue 23-Dec-08 13:51:09

pmsl MP

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh Tue 23-Dec-08 13:51:27

oooo WWW you got me all worried there grin - but you're right the 1000+ one (or at least one of them - didn't check the other) is still there

You know MP, some day, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, Moldiegate (or prawngate?) will be remembered like Red Rug....

VinegarTitsTheSeasonToBeJolly Tue 23-Dec-08 13:51:57

This one still here

grin MP

morningpaper Tue 23-Dec-08 13:52:02

you are right www

Always am MP wink

morningpaper Tue 23-Dec-08 13:53:38

now tell me, is it REALLY bad to have millions of plug extensions plugged into millions of other plug extensions? because I can't make my house look like brighton prom without serious towers of sockets

mediocrebronze Tue 23-Dec-08 13:54:16

Agree with the Waffling Lady. Have to say its been one of the first times I've felt included

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor Tue 23-Dec-08 13:54:50

Yes mp.
Are they safety extensions?

compo Tue 23-Dec-08 13:54:56

does anyone know where WigWamBam is? haven't seen her in ages...

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh Tue 23-Dec-08 13:54:59

MP - I've done that on numerous occasions, not for the Christmas lights, but permanently have that set-up around my computer desk to get CD player, printer, monitor, computer etc permanently plugged in, and have space to put hairdryer and hoover in when needed grin

House hasn't blown up yet wink

morningpaper Tue 23-Dec-08 13:55:58

"safety entensions" not really

I've not literally wired them into a lamp or anything though

I can't SMELL burning

LittleDonkeyCarrieMaryMumsnet (MNHQ) Tue 23-Dec-08 13:56:16

Hello hello, sorry soapbox, hope you've recovered.. greater love hath no mumsnetter and all that smile

We won't be deleting the old 1000 plus threads, but will delete any new ones that crop up.


WhileShosheWatchedHerFlocks...Carrie Grant..do you mean the one from Carrie and thingy's pop shop or the Hollywood (male) hearthrob? 'fraid I don't look much like either grin

Flihgtattendant Tue 23-Dec-08 13:56:18

Mean (mad) Old Ladies Discussing Infinitely Erudite Stuff

I suppose

is probably quite accurate grin


Mothers (Under-Members) Stand, Never Easily Toppled

I think that should go above the door.

Fimbo Tue 23-Dec-08 13:56:52

WWB has a job at her dd's school I think.

pooka Tue 23-Dec-08 13:58:12

yet, FAQ grin

We did that - this house had about 1 socket per room when we moved in. Since then, have been doing up gradually and dh, who is techno nut, has had about 5 doubles in every room "just in case"

YeahBut Tue 23-Dec-08 13:59:09

MP - depends on whether or not you would like to roast or flambe your turkey.

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor Tue 23-Dec-08 13:59:20

safety entensions...
<<does not make a joke about this and Moldes>>

Flihgtattendant Tue 23-Dec-08 14:05:55

I just read Piffs post on the last thread. She makes it sound a bit like Heaven...meeting all the lost faces again. I can kind of relate to that, I've missed some of them so much.

Oh well.

<wanders off to make sausages>

inSanityClause Tue 23-Dec-08 14:07:28

Wot was the Moldie Official Statement thingy?

(Sorry, have had Norovirus at weekend, have not quite kept up, can't find it, and in the interests of balance ought to read ....)

VinegarTitsTheSeasonToBeJolly Tue 23-Dec-08 14:13:00


Sorry i couldnt resist grin

<<runs away>>

DasherDancerPrancerFMVixen Tue 23-Dec-08 14:13:52

fuck me Vinegar, that is uncanny <<checks room for hidden cameras>>

DasherDancerPrancerFMVixen Tue 23-Dec-08 14:13:53

fuck me Vinegar, that is uncanny <<checks room for hidden cameras>>

Gosh, in a years time when people start saying "oooh, its like modlygate" I'll know what they're going on with grin

Proof of being a namechanger rather than a troll will be "I know about narnia gate and moldies" rather than "I know about red rug and judge flounce"

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor Tue 23-Dec-08 14:18:13

Flihgt, you're MAKING sausages?

RustyBear Tue 23-Dec-08 14:22:36

"5 doubles in every room" Think that's a lot, pooka?

I have 28 sockets in my kitchen....

TheFallenMadonna Tue 23-Dec-08 14:31:50

Raaargh. I am not a troll. Ive been here bleedin' ages. But I've been at PIL this weekend and I have no idea what this is all about. I was away for narniagate too.

I'm taking it personally I think hmm

threads are still here on moldies, including the ones that kicked it all off. So you can say you were here grin

TheFallenMadonna Tue 23-Dec-08 14:35:57

Phew. Back in the fold grin

LadyOfWaffle Tue 23-Dec-08 14:38:43

Oooooh, someone agreed with me! I feel all warm and fuzzy grinblush

pooka Tue 23-Dec-08 14:41:03

Blimey rusty! ave just been looking at the duggars (16 and counting) kitchen, which includes a canteen style servery. Are you michelle duggar by any chance?

www.duggarfamily.com/photos.html Look through until you get beyond the "pretty kitchen" to the industrial canteen set up.

Oh dear - I only have (counts) 8 doubles in the kitchen.

You would think that that would suffice - but no, I still have to unplug the toaster when I want to charge my phone! Such an effort .... wink

Flihgtattendant Tue 23-Dec-08 14:46:27

<<flings dodgy looking saucisson at VS>>

No not really. I just opened a tin and they fell out. With loads of beans and stuff. it was interesting.


Can you imagine though someone has to make the little buggers. These were veggie type so more 'erbs than anything nasty.

Flihgtattendant Tue 23-Dec-08 14:47:40

Ppoka I just can't stop myself wondering if they have a son called Berite. I can't. I'm really sorry. Honest. blush

Flihgtattendant Tue 23-Dec-08 14:48:01

that would be Pooka and Bertie

God it must be all that sausage making

inSanityClause Tue 23-Dec-08 14:50:10

<coughs politely> this Moldie Official Statement - did it exist then? Or have I got the wrong end of while speed-reading six million odd posts??

Well, since this is where we should post on the subject, I just want to write one more post about it. It has made me very sad. I have been trying to leave MN for months (because I felt it was no longer working for me) and perhaps that was my downfall because I was not around much when the Moldies were expressing dissatisfaction (otherwise I probably would have done the same and who knows? might have been invited to join them). I have wasted 3 precious days on this argument (my fault) and I have been by turns outraged, jealous, hurt, upset, amused and now I am upset and feel abandoned because I liked virtually all the people who left and miss them. As each one pops up to say they are posting on the other side, I find myself sagging just a little more and thinking "oh yes, there is another name I enjoyed talking to in the old days".

That said, there are some old names who are definitely staying here 100% which does help to mitigate the pain somewhat. And, having spent so long here the last 3 days, I have also come to know one or two new names of people who seem to be fun to talk to. All of which is good and will probably see me posting here again in the new year.

If the truth be known though, I don't want to start all over again on MN (which is what it feels like to me) and now not even an invite to Moldies would be worth anything as I would never be able to forget I was not anyone's first choice. How I envy those people from Moldies who say "I am enjoying being able to talk more openly in a safer environment". I hope you always continue to reap the benefits, even though you seem incapable of understanding that what you have is what others want too.

I can see that the majority view is now that we should shut up about this subject and I respect that even though I don't feel I have finished talking about it yet. What I would really like now is a list of all the Moldies. Not because I want to ostracise them. One or two people have been kind enough to let me know privately that they are Moldies and I respect them for that and have no intention of dropping them from my list of contacts. But I still want to know who all the others are as I feel deeply uncomfortable talking to people now, wondering if they are Moldies or not. If there is nothing to hide, I wonder why a list made public would be so awful? Though I can of course see that some would not want their status known. But that says more about the circumstances than the fact that a list is a bad idea.

Now I am going to log off. I have very few hours left in which to finish the present I am making for my husband for Christmas. The poor man will probably have to imagine half of it as I am never going to get it finished now sad. Not anyone's fault but mine of course.

Anyway, Merry Christmas to anyone who has bothered to read this, and thank you to MN for letting me have one more chance to write down my feelings. If (when!) I come back in the new year, I am sure none of this will seem important to me anymore.

so DG are you saying you'd like to be part of a site which ostracises people and makes them feel the way you are now? Or are you saying you'd like to be part of it if not for the voting system?
I too would like to see a list. The ones I know about I have revised my opinion of, but they're the ones who have been brave enough to show up and join in.

pooka Tue 23-Dec-08 14:58:37

DG - someone did start a thread trying to assemble a list of known moldies. Don't know if is still there. But obviously that would only cover those who have outed themselves.

Given that no one seems to know how amny there are, though some have said less than 200, some less that 140 and some less than 120, I don't imagine that those who have acknowledged moldiedom cover anywhere near the full list.

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor Tue 23-Dec-08 14:58:38

All their kids begin with J. So I'd guess that's a no.

Flihgtattendant Tue 23-Dec-08 14:58:55

Hello DG smile

I have read your post. It's Ok, nobody thinks you need be quiet yet. This is why we have this thread I believe. There are loose ends to tie up.

I think it was OBM who asked people to CAT her for the list, it was on the initial thread, I can't remember - I felt a list would only intensify my sadness and also I haven't been here as long as you, Dear DG, so my feelings can't have been as hurt. I don't want to think about them now...I just will use MN as I must, or not, for my own purposes...and i have made my feelings clear to the ones who have gone over.

I hope you find some peace this Christmas. I shall be keeping you in mind myself,


TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor Tue 23-Dec-08 15:00:33

Sorry x[-posts.

Merry Christmas DDG smile

Thanks for your thoughts. I have mixed feelings about the group. I can understand people wanting a quieter, safer, more personal place to post because I would like that too, but I don't like the way this group has come about and the hurt it has caused. I am just so sad to see so many friends have joined it and I knew nothing about it. It feels like a kick in the face.

But it is not real life is it? Right now I am angriest that I have ignored my children for 3 days (even posted here on my son's birthday FGS!) and that I have not finished making my dh's Christmas present, and that I have not made half the food I promised my elderly mother I would make. It is all my fault that this has happened. I will be back, but not this side of Christmas!

Season's greetings to you all.

daftpunk Tue 23-Dec-08 15:12:09

DG....hey, don't envy anyone...remember, nothing is ever as good as our mind would have us believe...(apart from chocolate)

i always think christmas eve is so much more exciting than christmas day...all the excitement, wonder, what's inside all that shiny paper....you know what i'm saying here......once you know whats inside, the boredom sets in pretty quick...n'est-ce pas?

enjoy christams DG....forget about it all....we're all random strangers just passing time...smile

morningpaper Tue 23-Dec-08 15:13:40

DumbledoresGirl, you have been very brave in posting your feelings and very honest, and been very dignified.

I hope you have a nice christmas, and although the timing of this is a bit shitty, at least it means we'll have got this 'over with' by the new year and can sort of make a fresh start

happy christmas DG

get to work now

TheFallenMadonna Tue 23-Dec-08 15:13:40

Ah. Read it now. So not in the fold exactly...

ChristmasLoveandPeace Tue 23-Dec-08 15:13:57

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

daftpunk Tue 23-Dec-08 15:18:09

she said that? shock

Flihgtattendant Tue 23-Dec-08 15:18:51

Stop it CLAP, please stop it...take your argument back to the other thread. We're not really too interested if a couple of people got silly.

expatinscotland Tue 23-Dec-08 15:19:34

I sure did, DP!

But why not read it from the horses' mouth rather than take things out of context so you can make your own mind up:

Flihgtattendant Tue 23-Dec-08 15:20:43

Expat I saw the thread, not interested in people coming and telling tales, it's between you two, let's save this for reasoned discussion and genuine feelings now. Some of us need a place for that.

Wishing you well btw.

VinegarTitsTheSeasonToBeJolly Tue 23-Dec-08 15:22:38

Expat, i have asked MN to delete my post as i was rude to you and i apologise

expatinscotland Tue 23-Dec-08 15:22:50

exactly, FA, which is why i linked back to teh original thread, which again will likely be deleted as HQ has asked everyone to keep things on this one now.

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor Tue 23-Dec-08 15:25:21

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

VinegarTitsTheSeasonToBeJolly Tue 23-Dec-08 15:25:53

I dont think they will delete that thread, it was there before this one, they are only deleting any news one that get created

expatinscotland Tue 23-Dec-08 15:26:09

xpost, Vinegar. Sorry, was checking up on 'My house looks like HA, oh no!' thread .

sorry, i was being a wind up merchant.

expatinscotland Tue 23-Dec-08 15:26:11

xpost, Vinegar. Sorry, was checking up on 'My house looks like HA, oh no!' thread .

sorry, i was being a wind up merchant.

Flihgtattendant Tue 23-Dec-08 15:26:13

Yes I can see that.

Glad we are all calming down a bit now. Nice work.

daftpunk Tue 23-Dec-08 15:29:33

i will read it expat....but i hope you never thought that about me.....cos i'm losing it a bit here..

expatinscotland Tue 23-Dec-08 15:30:30

no, DP, i was winding up just like i've done for some time on here now.

not the first time it's gotten me in trouble.

i used to get suspended from school a lot .

expatinscotland Tue 23-Dec-08 15:31:23

but most of the time it was for smoking or skiveing, the latter of which i never understood: give a pupil time off from school for skiving. cool!

bananaknickers Tue 23-Dec-08 15:37:47

What is going on here ? I haven't been around for a few days.

Mumsnet have set up an exclusive 'extra bit' for people to feel safe?

Just seen this thread and no others as I presume that this is the only one.

bananaknickers Tue 23-Dec-08 15:38:30

Glad you haven't gone expat, you make me laff.smile

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor Tue 23-Dec-08 15:40:50

No, MN haven't set anything up.

The unbiased version is that Once upon a time there was a problem on MN so an alternate forum was set up incase it went down.
A long time later there were a lot of trolls and people in RL were finding people on MN so a set of friends who had this other forum started resuing and invited some new people too.
This came out and a few people who are, what they considered, friends with the people on this forum where upset.
There have been a few trolls namechanging and stirring things up.
A few MNers have de-registered.
There have been about 6 threads on it.

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor Tue 23-Dec-08 15:41:25


expatinscotland Tue 23-Dec-08 15:41:44

I never went anywhere.

I went offline altogether for a while after DS was born and because my folks were in town.

Piffle Tue 23-Dec-08 15:42:34

calm is better
I'm no good at conflict... I just slam doors,shout rude things and stomp.
Thenfeel like a prize twat afterwards.
I long to be proficient at reasoned argument although seeing my mum and her sisters, I fear a genetic legacy of Bad Temper...

expatinscotland Tue 23-Dec-08 15:43:46

I usually just walk out, Piffle. Or I get sassy and it winds people up even more blush.

But mostly it's just, 'Okay. I'm outta here for a bit' and I go to the fag stash, grab the pack and go for a walk.

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor Tue 23-Dec-08 15:45:30

That's the only reason I ever wish I still smoked.
Smoking Sulks.
I can't do it anymore.
I have to storm out and just hang around by the front door for nothing.
It doesn't have quite the same effect.

Flihgtattendant Tue 23-Dec-08 15:50:09

I am much calmer due to a particular game on Kids countdown, on Norad website. You have to connect up all the lights on a tree, it is really tricky! Have been fighting ds for control of the mouse all day. blush

daftpunk Tue 23-Dec-08 15:51:06

no worries expat....i haven't really been following this to be honest...i just read the occasional post.....(all the wrongs one probably!)

i'm surprised the washington post have got hold of this yet?

congrats on the baby btw.. smile

expatinscotland Tue 23-Dec-08 15:51:40

ta, daftpunk.

ooo, brand new 'Ready Steady Cook' is on!

Myrrhcy Tue 23-Dec-08 15:52:52

What's the Norad website Flight?

expatinscotland Tue 23-Dec-08 15:54:11

the Norad website's the Santa tracker, no?

i want to show DD1 that.

she got him some mince pies and whisky.

that's my kinda Santa, sweetheart .

inSanityClause Tue 23-Dec-08 15:58:10

<perseveres. so there was no Statement From The Moldies then??

<don't make me wade through 3,000 posts again> <begs>

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor Tue 23-Dec-08 15:59:52

No insanityclause, there were a few Moldies that posted but all had their own view of what had happened and how they felt about it.

Piffle Tue 23-Dec-08 16:18:57

I no longer smoke,unless you class the stuff pouring out my ears on aforementioned sulk counts grin

Christmas is finally in my head dammit, I've now got goose related stress disorder...

VeniVidiVickiQV Tue 23-Dec-08 16:21:58

TY MP [fsmikle]

inSanityClause Tue 23-Dec-08 16:21:59

Thanks VS.

TheBlonde Tue 23-Dec-08 17:13:56

Why has this only kicked off now? I thought it was discussed back in Nov?

Flihgtattendant Tue 23-Dec-08 17:14:34

Thats the one waynetta

Myrrhcy, and Expat here's the countdown village thingy. Click on the central tree to get the tree game. It is mind bogglingly addictive and i normally can't abide computer games smile

Flihgtattendant Tue 23-Dec-08 17:18:05

Do you know, there really was a lot of cliqueyness in the old days. I always felt a bit yak when someone appeared on a thread making covert remarks or instructions to someone else on there and they just vanished to do whoever's bidding.

That was sort of moldies among us.
Now it's been taken elsewhere i am starting to feel fortunate. Don't see much of that stuff any more and if some moldies deign to come and talk to us at least we know they are here cos they want to be. Am feeling a bit festively appeasing about all this now. Mind you i did get it out of my system.

<clasps Myrrhcy and Expat to manly bosom>
I knew you would need me, I'm very necessary person really aren;t I. grin

Oh for God's sake FA - I hadn't seen that....
I am NEVER going to get anything done now!!!

AnneOfAvonlea Tue 23-Dec-08 17:21:08

I've been around ages in different guises. I've been trying to avoid MN the last few months as it just got weird. I'm hoping that the New Year will bring with it some sanity.

Flihgtattendant Tue 23-Dec-08 17:22:29


hee hee

I am undistractable on Xmas eve

I need to know where santa is

NEED do you understand and no I cannot get you some dinner, children!!!

compo Tue 23-Dec-08 17:24:12

FA I know what you mean, the 'oi msn now' type comments

Flihgtattendant Tue 23-Dec-08 17:27:20

yes compo, that sort of thing.

always did make you feel a bit left out - especially as often it was a big thread hijack but nobody apologised, like most of us would do.

Like our thread or our feelings didn't count for much.

I think it's better now that has stopped.

Horton Tue 23-Dec-08 17:35:54

"now tell me, is it REALLY bad to have millions of plug extensions plugged into millions of other plug extensions?"

No, I don't think so. DH is an electrician and assures me it's fine.

Now I will go back to lurking as I haven't been here for long enough to have a proper opinion.

AnneOfAvonlea Tue 23-Dec-08 17:39:15

Horton - that is GOOD news. Our living room has an abundance of four-ways. smile

oopsagain Tue 23-Dec-08 17:41:56

I posted this on the other thread and want to move it over here-
I think my apology got lost in the mix somehow- but maybe I suffer form infreq poster syndrome- ie people just talk pver you unless they recognise your name....
it's very true and yet another reason why I'm off- i also have wasted far too much time here of late and my kids' noses need wip[ing [snot]

Hi, I am just re-registering for this then am off again.

I was about to levae MN for good a few weeks ago- mainly due to the baby p stuff and then finally due to the thread that dismaued me beyond belief...
there was a mnetter asking for advice on how to help her daughter at 16yrs old- after thaving given her up for adoption, the daughter was struggling with all sorts of sad stuff and her adopted parents seemd to have let her down.
The first few posts were (astonishingly)- well, you should have thought about that before you gave her up- and there were ther posts suggesting that the Op was responsible for her daughter's problems.
I decided to go at that point, it was very very sad as I am around alot- even though i don't post much.
I felt that for me, I just needed to get on with more stuff in my life and not to get bogged down with such horrible stuff.

Then I received an invite to moldies- so I went and had a look and stayed around on there.
I'm not a contraversial person and just pootled around on there too.

I continued to post in both places but not prolifically-

and then I made a new Year's resolution to stop MN and Moldies comletely on Jan 1st- I need my life back.

So I've actually de-registered from both sites in the last few days.

I hadn't given it all so much thought to be honest- I've got lots of other stuff going on in my life just now (as ever)

But now i've seen all the upset I do want to apologise to the people that are hurt- and controlfreaky- I do want to apologise to you personally- you have bene lovely to me in the past and I hvae geat respect for you. notanotter too, I know i have disagreed with yur DH quite alot- but it has been fun to talk to you too smile

Anyway, I'm off to get the last lot of Xmas presents now- and to deal with two crazy kids.
I shan't be back- MN is over for me now with that crassness. I knwo there's some fabness still, but I don't want to get involved in all the other stuff- and you have to read threads to realise you want to hide them...

MN has bene fab for me and i have met lovely people on and off line because of it.

I'm leaving moldies too- and also am sad- there are some lovely people there too- again people who took care of me when I really needed it, so I'm not going to slag anyone off either.

All the best to you guys on MN, thanks for the laughs and the help when i needed it...

VeniVidiVickiQV Tue 23-Dec-08 17:46:35

Ooops. I will miss you on here/there. You are a truly lovely, funny, kind lady.

Although if you are still meeting up with Marsy, hopefully we will meet up again in the near future?

(and double dammit - I wanted to ask you a question about broken cats tails! blush)

Tortington Tue 23-Dec-08 17:48:18

i Remember that thread oops, and was of much the same opinion as you.

very nice of you to apologise, it takes courage i think.
i appreciate it anyway.

merry xmas

Myrrhcy Tue 23-Dec-08 17:49:39

Thanks Flight, I daren't click on your link though until I have wrapped up a few more presents!

oops, I saw your original post. I agree/empathise with much of what you say.

Good luck and all the best (although I'd rather you stay)

oopsagain Tue 23-Dec-08 17:51:50

yes, vvvq- i shan't deregister from friends- that's bonkers.
I jsut don't want to be on either place any more.
MN was a lifesaver and now it has becaome a train crash for me-- and i am sick of myself rubber niecking the crap tbh.

And lovely as people are here and there, i'm just not in the mood to be part of a forum.
I need to move my life along and i feel that posting here or there is jsut taking up time that I should be spending working on my life somewhat.

Anyway- ask away about cat's tails grin
are they broken cats, or broken tails?

LoneStranger Tue 23-Dec-08 17:55:21

OK, Just for the record, i posted on one of the other threads as 'HippoCriticGal'. I did not namechange for the purpose of that thread; i changed a couple of weeks ago but have had various names since i joined in 2003. But i am not an 'oldie' - perhaps deemed as 'under-ripe' or just plain boring to have been invited to moldies.

I do abhor the suggestion that posters may be expected to 'earn' their invite in some way or to 'give loads of themselves'. Weeeell, i, for one, am not prepared to pimp myself to gain a spurrious right of passage into a breakaway site. i change my name more often than most because i know others who post here and would like to remain as anonymous as poss.

i alluded to the points Kerrymum made on the other thread and i am sorry that people who have been heavily supported by mn posters have decided that they dont need some of us anymore. i know that hasnt been said explicitly, but thats what it feels like.

i dont know if resolve is realistic, but maybe we will all get to the point wgere we can understand, though not necessarily agree opposing viewpoints about this. it seems that some posters are going through a grieving period about this and are understandably very emotionally raw. i think posters are correctly have a 'space' to post their opinions about his, so they can get it out of their system and hopefully move on.

btw; its crapola for any posters to minimise the hurt others are feeling.

expatinscotland Tue 23-Dec-08 17:56:44

the thing i'm sorry about is that you've come to feel that way, oops.

but i understand.

people thought i was away from here but really i wasn't online at all.

just had a lot on IRL.

same will happen again in the new year - got some stuff to sort out and three little kids, and even in the next couple of weeks because i've finally convinced a pal who left a bad relationship down south and is now in a women's refuge to come up here to spend Xmas and New Year's with us, although she's a net junkie, too, and bringing her laptop wink.

but i wish you well in everything.

you'll be missed.

VeniVidiVickiQV Tue 23-Dec-08 17:56:50

lol - broken tails.

kitten - about 4-5 months old. appears to have a broken tail although dont know how. is limp-ish from about a 3rd of the way away from the base. Doestn seem to hurt the kitten but kitten has been subdued. dh had a feel and said he felt some movement/grinding (hes a veteran of many broekn bones).

is it worth taking to the vet (owner of cat is reluctant due to cost - they hnave just lost their job) - they wont b able to do antyhing will they?

oopsagain Tue 23-Dec-08 17:58:35

i am hoping to shut up the computer today and nto come back- but if anyone sees controlfreaky then please let her know that I have apologised to her too...
and there's a whole bunch of people with asd type/sensitive kids that have been lovely- coppertop and everyone.
and Imaginary friend- hope your dd's school and reading are ok grin

AnneOfAvonlea Tue 23-Dec-08 17:59:25

VVVQV - they may amputate the tail, depending on the break.

VeniVidiVickiQV Tue 23-Dec-08 18:02:05

i alluded to the points Kerrymum made on the other thread and i am sorry that people who have been heavily supported by mn posters have decided that they dont need some of us anymore. i know that hasnt been said explicitly, but thats what it feels like."

i'm sorr ybut i object to that under any circusmtances. i dont see why any poster who has been supposted here should feel beholden to them on that basis. if i offer suport or advice or whatever, i dont expect someone to be forever gateful. in fact if they becme srong enough to move on and not need suport any more then i thin k 'fantastic - job done'.

expatinscotland Tue 23-Dec-08 18:03:41

i don't get that 'point' because of some of us never left MN.


VeniVidiVickiQV Tue 23-Dec-08 18:04:05

but, if they movement in tail is lost - does it have to b apmuteated?

oopsagain Tue 23-Dec-08 18:07:32

Won't be able to do much- can't splint a tail as it will be too heavy.

I suppose the problem is pain control at this stage. pain relief is hard in cats anyway as they are particularly sensitive to non-steroidals... so don't medicate at home..
Can't believe I'm saying ot again- i've said it loads on here over the years- NO PARACETAMOL for cats.. and no aspirin etc.

If kitten is peeing and pooing ok then I wouldn't worry too much.
But if there is any probs there then best to gett seen soon as poss.
If the tail is very damaged then it may not return to fucntion- and will get shut in doors and stuff so may need amputating.

This is assuming it is a break withiut a wound/bite wound
if there is any infection due to bites or broken skin then it will need seeing by a vet as will prob need antibiotics.

Are they on benefits yet?
If local to you then they could try charities- RSPCA not far from you and blue cross in victoria will help if they are on means tested benefits.

oopsagain Tue 23-Dec-08 18:08:42

and there's no charge- financial or emotional for that advice grin

LoneStranger Tue 23-Dec-08 18:08:50

VVV, that was not what i said. I said that it FEELS like i have outlived my usefulness in some ways. I strongly object to potentially being part of a process that other posters decide ya or nay to others' inclusion. That same process was NOT in place to determine who helped whom and what support/help was given/accepted.

When I have given money and gifts NOBODY, i suspect, subjected me to such a process to decide whether it would be acceptable or not... or i may be wrong?

Tortington Tue 23-Dec-08 18:09:07

hey if you don't understand why some of us feel the way we do despite the many threads an explainations ..you don't understand!

I clearly don't understand how you don't understand.

VeniVidiVickiQV Tue 23-Dec-08 18:20:57

peeing and pooing fine. no apparent p[ain.
i may help them to get him to a vet.

i dont think i'll ever understand why mners who have been haeavily supported (whomever they meay be) should be called into question at all. everything esle aside. what's teh point in guilttripping poeple over the bad things they've gone through. if your support is conditinoal dont give it. that's just outright nasty and nothing to do with this.

i get why folk are upste, really really do. have apologised too. but if all these upset folk are genuinely upset, sensitvie folk, then surely they'd understnad nad not feel the need to make jibeds at those less fortunate to make a pont about hurt feelings. the issue is over invites/exlcusion/elitism - or so yhouve maintinaed

TheFallenMadonna Tue 23-Dec-08 18:26:54

Can I just ask a question VVV? To be nosey?

The selection process - are names suggested and then voted on? Do the people in question know/agree to the process? I mean, is it like putting yourself up for a club? Or is the decision to invite or not made before the person is aware IYSWIM.

Apologies if this is a re-hash. I was away over the weekend when the self-destruct button was pushed...

Tortington Tue 23-Dec-08 18:28:42

VV, i dont understand what you ae trying to say.

You are sorry if people are upset - but continue to be part of the thing that upsets them

i dont understand the next part

FrannyandZooey Tue 23-Dec-08 18:28:51

for the tenth time have not read thread
i have been pondering
i have come to conclusion that if i did not disagree with quite a few of the people i expected to find on moldies so much, then i might have been more tempted to join
so am chagrinned to admit i think i did the right thing by accident
i can see if i thought all my mates were on there that i might have accepted invite

anyway i am just sorry now to see friends who were on there and are distressed by aggro and hurt this has caused
it still makes me angry that all this came about
but i feel lots of people who were / are on there are kind of - what do you call it - when people get injured by their own bombs?

LoneStranger Tue 23-Dec-08 18:29:23

my posts have not called anyone into question. for me the main issue is about the selective nature of the process. why would you suggest that my response implies that any support given may have been conditional. i did what i did, freely, openly and honestky. the same cannot be said of moldies.

i can accept that the fallout of moldies was clear unforseen and the hurt unintentional, but it still hurts - a lot of people and to minimise people's feelings, frankly rubs salt into the wound.

VeniVidiVickiQV Tue 23-Dec-08 18:30:01

tfm - i hpe you dont mind but i dont really want to go over it again. if you do a searh oon invites imsure you'll find. and, tbh, im aboiut to log off as typing is gettng worse so need to rest up

Tortington Tue 23-Dec-08 18:31:17

F&Z i think the technical term is "shit it"

VeniVidiVickiQV Tue 23-Dec-08 18:32:08

lone - m entioned the more "heavily su;p;ported" mners. why did you mnention them?

am loggn off so wnot read for a wile

Tortington Tue 23-Dec-08 18:33:01

who me?

i have no idea what your talking about

VeniVidiVickiQV Tue 23-Dec-08 18:34:53

are you called lone?
i'm directing q at lone

so no need for you to answer me c

Tortington Tue 23-Dec-08 18:38:07

i clearly misunderstood vvq. sorry.

holidaywonk Tue 23-Dec-08 18:40:22

TFM - names are put forward and decided on without the nominee being aware. Or at least, that's how it was done until fairly recently.

TheFallenMadonna Tue 23-Dec-08 18:41:48

OK. Found something. Not clear on who gets to send out the initial invites though. Process sounds like one of those gentlemen's clubs we've been laughing at all these years. Blackballing and all that. How very - retro wink

LoneStranger Tue 23-Dec-08 18:42:23

vvv. i have not 'called anyone into question' simply stated fact. there are many posters who have been supported by myself and many many others. over the 5 years i have been a member i have done what i could, when, how and if - without reservation or question. For some posters to now not post on a select THREAD but a select FORUM leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

One of the things about mn is that people would post and ANYone could choose to respond, or not. a splinter group such as moldies is much more EXclusive than INclusive. it has the effect of being at least in part about who to leave out as who to leave in.

that is my point.

hunkermunker Tue 23-Dec-08 18:44:38

Is there anything anyone can say that will make this better?

TheFallenMadonna Tue 23-Dec-08 18:44:51

Ah. x-post with wonk. That's not very nice then is it. Really.

dittany Tue 23-Dec-08 18:47:29

"Here's an invite to all the old Mumsnetters we overlooked, but we'll understand if you don't want to join" might be a start, Hunker.

It was your actions that were the problem, so it's action you need to undertake to fix things, not words. Whilst you continue the exclusivity you maintain the hurt created.

BBBee Tue 23-Dec-08 18:49:54

if you were hurt but not being nominated that is sad.

I know I was nominated and then VETOED by someone.

that feels lovely.

and to top it all i don't think i know how it spell 'vetoed'

oopsagain Tue 23-Dec-08 18:53:13

happy xmas, custardo,
expat- good luck wiht the little one and the bigger ones.
I'm glad that after all the crap you had before you now have a little baby in your arms again.

I'll miss you too- you've made me PMSL loads over the yrs. grin

Tortington Tue 23-Dec-08 18:54:48

bbbee how do you know that?

Boredofallthis Tue 23-Dec-08 18:55:02

As someone on the sidelines but someone who read the infamous custardo blog last year with increasing disbelief. And now seeing who some of the people are on moldies I'm quite surprised custardo would even expect an invitation. I wouldn't if I'd been so rude about people. I tend to think it's best to treat others how you would like to be treated. Or it can come back to bite.

"btw; its crapola for any posters to minimise the hurt others are feeling. "
I agree
It's the usual "don't worry about this, it's not important enough." Well guess what, I have room for many worries some important, some less so. This is one of them. Threads on MN range from the absolutely critical to the banal. If there's a line to be crossed at which we are allowed to care then can MNHQ please specify that. Otherwise DO NOT tell me what I can and cannot care about. Nothing pisses me off more right at the moment.

TheFallenMadonna Tue 23-Dec-08 18:55:38

Oh gawd hunker - I know it's picking at scabs. But I do like to know the facts before I judge wink

catinthehat1 Tue 23-Dec-08 18:56:02

(F&Z - "Hoist by their own petard")

Doodle2U Tue 23-Dec-08 18:56:44

Blimey BBBee - that is harsh! sad

KerryMum didn't come back then?

Is she at it like a rabbit before TOW arrives to snatch the penis with a pulse away from her or did she really do a Mumsnet runner earlier because of deleted posts?

TheFallenMadonna Tue 23-Dec-08 18:56:48

I was thinking collateral damage.

oh and for all the "there are more important things going on people", what if there's someone who IS having a shit time at the momment, and having all her virtual friends gang up and exclude her is the last straw?

PeachyBidsYouNadoligLlawen Tue 23-Dec-08 18:57:18

boredofall it's not 'just' (and I never even read the blogs, usually, when am feeling stronger, avoid MN bunfights) custy is it? (not Custy that I wouldn't have invited you iykwim- I would- its just poster dismissed everyone else)

its massive numbers, seemingly, of oldies.

narrowing it down to one eprson targets custy and dismisses the others: unfair i think, in many ways.

hunkermunker Tue 23-Dec-08 18:57:50

I doubt that'll happen, Dittany. For starters "all the old Mumsnetters" - who, exactly? Any list would miss someone off - as has already happened.

Loads have said they don't want to join anyway - so it would be an exercise in fire-stoking, because they'd come in, have a poke around, realise it wasn't the bitching den it's being made out to be, but not have any fondness for those on there - so there'd be bound to be threads on here slating them.

Tortington Tue 23-Dec-08 18:58:10

bored - what a shit house. no balls to do your own name?

my blog - was there in the open and messages were posted - no one was denied entry everyone could read and post about them = it wasn't exclusive.

nice try at deflection there love.


PeachyBidsYouNadoligLlawen Tue 23-Dec-08 18:58:17

Um Stealth i think that's me actually

which is why i've reacted, perhaps overly, so much and fallen so hard (ds3 got his final dx last week)

but thats the thing- you never know what someone is dealing with do you?

oopsagain Tue 23-Dec-08 18:58:43

hey peachy- do yoou still want pink forks and stuff?
i realised i never sent you any
i'll be back later- and then will close this for good (hopefully)

BBBee Tue 23-Dec-08 18:58:55

custy - because when i first found out about mouldies (gingham ribbon - remember) and I had not been on mumsnet much so i asked someone who i know well about it and she told me (apologetically) that she was on it and had put me forward but they had said no.

I think the whole thing about "supportive" mumsnetters was on one of the other threads, explaining how the moldies were posters who had given a lot of support to people, a lot of advice and laughs.

That was one of the posts that pissed me off!

Tortington Tue 23-Dec-08 19:00:06

BBBee harsh!
you are not worthy, you are not worthy.

So sorry to hear that Peachy, although I don't know the details. I assume you won't want to tell all on this thread, but I will go and have a look.
Sorry if my last post seemed personal to you - it wasn't meant to be.
Just infuriates me when people tell me how (not) to feel.

PeachyBidsYouNadoligLlawen Tue 23-Dec-08 19:03:24

Bbbee that would hurt- had that once, except was in RL and I was booted out of a social group my Dh ws vice chair of hmm (I know he voted for me LOL)

lesson to be learned: ten years or so on I relaise the reason I was refused is becuase unlike every other woman there I have a brain and can speak for myself.

near miss, imo

Whatever it is that stopped us being 'in' could well be that thing we cherish most about ourselves- our sincerity, kindess, whatever....

PeachyBidsYouNadoligLlawen Tue 23-Dec-08 19:04:27

Stealth i never thought that- at all- indeed I was agreeing with what you said!

no masive details; after 2.5 years being pre-DX ds3 finally got one, developmental delays and autism, won't be fully independent.

That's it really.

dittany Tue 23-Dec-08 19:05:33

Well if someone got missed off they can always say and you can do something about it. Not that big a problem really, in my opinion.

I think you're wrong about it being a fire-stoker. In fact I think the longer this goes on, the more difficult people may find it, if moldies keep coming back here and joining in when we know they are also posting at another site where they are allowed to discuss Mumsnet. It's bound to make people uncomfortable.

Also I don't actually think you'd get many applications to join. Most people don't want to be part of an exclusive club. It would be the generous gesture to extend the invitation though and would put an end to the "them and us" feeling.

dittany Tue 23-Dec-08 19:06:28

Sorry, that was to Hunker.

Tortington Tue 23-Dec-08 19:07:16

i missed the point shithouse, that i was not invited to a party including hunker vvq cd and others is hardly a revelation my dear.

the revelation is clearly the truly balanced posters of old.

one particular idol of mine

the revelation is the fact that some discussion about me in my absence has taken place ( by the wizard of oz - the real name no one knows , i know nothing, i know nothing hmm )

the revelation that this is an elitist club, set up as such - and meant to be kept a secret - tid bits flowing out from ex members - confirming that there were posts about- near misses - at nearly getting found out.

and better that i met lots of them and laughed talked, shared things, personal things in a couple of cases at the xmas do not a few weeks ago.

but the 'me know nothing, me know nothing' is rubish.

ignorance of how the system you are in works, is no defence.

they are intelligent enough to question things.

I'm so sorry. Hope that a diagnosis means you get some help for your DS and for you.

pooka Tue 23-Dec-08 19:09:25

Peachy - did that happen to someone else as well on here - back in 2003 possible.

Am sure I remember the fall-out - the difficult position the DH was in, and there being practically no explanation.

Wonder who that was - it def was a social club or a darts team or summat. Wracking brains.

Anyway - what a shit thing to happen, but the right response of course is to think tough shit, their loss.

Tortington Tue 23-Dec-08 19:09:39

i haven't seen anyone refer to it as a nitching den - but i haven't read all posts. its certainly not a prominant argument. what you talk about is a side issue IMO.

expatinscotland Tue 23-Dec-08 19:10:13

sorry, mo' fo's, posted on the other thread.

not gotta shit and run to bathe the girls and get them into their bed.

PeachyBidsYouNadoligLlawen Tue 23-Dec-08 19:10:24

I think (as Is aid before) that many people would have just got hthe link and thought Oh-Ok

that I can understand; it's easy not to think things through

but defending it, and more to the point tbh dismissing other peoples genuine feelings as silly is OTT

Just because someone doesn't agree with you does not make them wrong. Different to you, more sensitive, perhaps. Not wrong.

This started with something that coud have been sorted ina bust-up but the dismissal of concerns may well be what sent it over

pooka Tue 23-Dec-08 19:12:04

Now a nitching den is a lovely place I expect -in my family "to nitch" is to nuzzle into small baby;s soft fluffy neck and head and INHAAALE.

WewishyouaBUMPERLICIOUS Tue 23-Dec-08 19:13:50

I am posting on one of these thread for the last time to say that I have found this whole situation quite sad. But I think that something good will come of all this. I have 'talked to' many different people who I have never spoken to before who I hope to see more of in the future (if DH ever lets me back onto the computer). But I now need closure on this.

Some people I have seen in a new light, and that saddens me. I hope the moldies are happy on their new forum, and the the ones who want to come back do, and see that mumsnet has improved for the better. I'm sorry so many people have been hurt. Obviously there are more important things going on in life, but you could say that about any problem, so I hope people who don't understand will accept that even though it doesn't bother them, other people have a real sense of betrayal and not belittle it.

I've also really neglected my lovely postnatal girls over the past few days, sorry girls if you are reading, I'll be back soon.

I'm going back to real life for a while. Take care everyone, and have a wonderful Christmas. let hope the new year will be a new start for all of us.

Sorry, that's not very eloquent and a bit disjointed, but you know what I mean right?

BBBee Tue 23-Dec-08 19:14:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeachyBidsYouNadoligLlawen Tue 23-Dec-08 19:14:16

Priobably did happent o someone else- ours was memorable as to what it was (rather unique hobby of ours!)

stealth we'll be ok, just 2nd time now we've had a child dx'd: shock now but we'll get there

revjustaboutbelievesinsanta Tue 23-Dec-08 19:49:37

Happy Christmas to all. And to all a good night.

(Tiny Tim wanders offstage, sentimentally)

so the oldie moldie threads are being deleted now?

mummiesnet Tue 23-Dec-08 20:27:13

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

I wonder why. They said they would be leaving them and deleting any new ones, which is fair enough.

I wonder why. They said they would be leaving them and deleting any new ones, which is fair enough.

southeastastra Tue 23-Dec-08 20:31:08

oh mary mother of god hmm

southeastastra Tue 23-Dec-08 20:31:31

since when have personal attacks been allowed???

What's up SEA? Who has made a personal attack?

southeastastra Tue 23-Dec-08 20:34:59

ah was in relation to another comment on a pulled thread. but still nasty

Liffey's comment? Right, I didn't see it.
Still am surprised the whole thread went rather than just the post as usual. Maybe MN has a standard rule - more than 60% of posts deleted, whole thread goes grin

southeastastra Tue 23-Dec-08 20:39:30

and i hope you're ok expat, i know you're made of stern stuff but still

maybe someone has been at the christmas sherry all afternoon

slanging match
this is going nowhere

morningpaper Tue 23-Dec-08 20:42:14

solidgoldstuffingballs> "MP: Don't eat Pringles. They really will tear you a new one."


LucyJones Tue 23-Dec-08 20:43:32

'BBBee on Tue 23-Dec-08 18:58:55
custy - because when i first found out about mouldies (gingham ribbon - remember) and I had not been on mumsnet much so i asked someone who i know well about it and she told me (apologetically) that she was on it and had put me forward but they had said no.'

I find it so shocking after a comment like that that people are still defending their forum sad

southeastastra Tue 23-Dec-08 20:44:11

oh stop fanning the flames.. ho ho ho

how's that toilet brush mp? Although the fact you own one at all is a whole new thread!

LucyJones Tue 23-Dec-08 20:48:53

well SEE this is a thread to discuss it isn't it?!!

GoodWilfToAllMN Tue 23-Dec-08 20:50:55

I am quite worried about the flood plains in the SouthWest, MP, after your, er, blockage shifted downstream.

Tortington Tue 23-Dec-08 20:54:55

yes lucy jones indeed.

perhaps if this suject is annoying people they should use the hide button or just ignore it - i think that was why MNHQ put it into one thread, for the people who are fed up - which is understandable.

southeastastra Tue 23-Dec-08 20:57:55

some comments are hard to ignore hmm

LucyJones Tue 23-Dec-08 20:59:26

surely not my comment southeasteastra?

LucyJones Tue 23-Dec-08 21:01:06

you see I started off thinking all this was a fuss about nothing but then after reading BBBee's post I'm starting to see why people are so upset

southeastastra Tue 23-Dec-08 21:01:15

no, a very nasty comment made on another (pulled) thread which mummiesnet agrees with hmm

LucyJones Tue 23-Dec-08 21:01:48

oh right, sorry didn't see that one sad

ruty Tue 23-Dec-08 21:03:47

Happy Christmas revjustabout. You have acted rather beautifully throughout this debacle, despite some rather orrible name calling.

I feel very sad that I may have lost a couple of people i liked a lot on MN for good now, merely by expressing sadness and hurt at the whole thing. Baffling and frustrating but nothing i can do about it. Night all.

BBBee Tue 23-Dec-08 21:05:45

but i wasn't upset. i can understand that other people might be but i wasn't - but i am not here very much. i think it was partly because they maybe didn't recognise me you see. i think they wanted people they knew.

i didn;t mind.

Piffle Tue 23-Dec-08 21:05:46

I only wished to explain my reasons for joining, never for one moment did I ever think I was doing something underhand.
I regret nice folks are upset, understand why but refuse to take the blame on my shoulders.

Oddly this saga has brought the best and worst out of mumsnet.
If people are prepared to write someone off solely for belonging, then that says as much about them as it does about me.

LucyJones Tue 23-Dec-08 21:08:04

so you didn't reject people suggested to join then Piffle?

(sorry BBBee , I'm really glad you weren't upset, it just seems so cruel!)

Piffle Tue 23-Dec-08 21:09:51

I only made my 1st post Saturday Lucy
But joined ages ago
Have never been involved in any nomination or veto process nor would I wish to be.

DoNotsAntlers Tue 23-Dec-08 21:10:52

I haven't posted on this subject t date although I think that I have read more than enough on the subject. I know (or at least I think) that things are starting to dye own a little. But I need to get this off my chest for my own sanity. most likely it will be ignored...but that is fine.

I am upset by this....OK not by the standards of other RL events that have and will upset me - but I am upset - along with others.

I am feeling the emotions that one would feel after finding out about their DP/DH having an affair (and yes I do know from experience what those emotions are)...I think CD has already used this as an alalogy. It is not the fact that it is there ...it is the fact that it is (was) a secret. It is the fact that when it was previously exposed (by Gibbon Ribbon or whatever) it was all brushed under the carpet "there is nothing going on, honest guv" - and that there was apparently a bit of jest about "managing to put them off the scent" on the Moldies board. And now that it is well in the open there are some paralells with the "we didn't go all the way" type comments you might excepct to hear from a cheating partner with the variations on the vetoing/nomination/do we talk about MN...just trying to cover your backs- or at least that is the way that I perceive it - becuse that is all I have - perceptions. And now it seems that one way to get an invite was to flounce from here...it feels as though they are poaching the flouncers and then laughing in our face.

There have been posters that have said that they don't understand teh fuss....and yes that sounds like a rational thing to say..I don't understand fully why I am so upset either. But then we see it said so often that MN is an addictive place to be....if you took a bottle of an alcoholic's whiskey and took the lid off allowing some to evapuourate - they would notice that some was disappearing...but would not be able to see where it has gone. That is how I was feeling a couple of weeks ago with a few big names noticeably not being around so much...having "evapurated from teh bottle". But all this just feels so much more like you are taking that bottle of whiskey and tipping it down the sink in front of the alcoholic...so rubbing their nose in it. So taking that thing that they are addicted to and putting it down the drain and out of reach...that is why it hurts...because of the addiction. And maybe this has woken me up to teh extent of the addiction.

I am shocked at some of the names who are involved...I am shocked at some that aren't..I am shocked that some have felt that they do have to leave MN because of it. Thing is that of all of the names I have heard confirming their involvement I have enjoyed their company on MN. I shall miss their company on MN - be it through de-registering or through posting less. I wonder in some cases whether the de-registering is down to the guilt of what they have done...I guess we will never know.

There have been those who have said that tehy still post here...yes that may well be true. And I can see the benefits of a closed forum - I truely can...but I would like to bet that not all of the posts over there are of a nature that needs that closed atmosphere...those are the posts which MN is missing. Thing is every post over there is a post that isn't on here for us to enjoy, or help with or be a part of the discussion....so to my mind that board is in direct competition with MN IMO.

So why do I care about all of this...I honestly don't know. cos TBH I don't want to be a member...i wouldn't want to be a memember....I think it just comes down to the addiction and the "affair" that I described above....maybe this will make mee think again about whether I review my own relationship with this board - for my own sanity....

DoNotsAntlers Tue 23-Dec-08 21:12:12

<Oh and I am not writing off members of Moldies...TBH I would rather they would all come back here and entertain us all; let us help them; and help us on the public forum>

LiffeyanFiaRua Tue 23-Dec-08 21:13:33

It wasn't nasty. It's a pity it's been deleted because now its alleged nastiness will grow wings. It was challenging a certain poster's continued abrasiveness though. But lordalive I have seen four hundred times worse many many times.

Interesting policy mumsnet has. About five thousand angry words from THE STALWART of mumsnet (sorry, former stalwart who defected) and then two posts from me asking why is said stalwart always so angry and contemptuous, and the whole thread is pulled.

NO chance the stalwart will be upset, so I wouldn't worry about that! She is indeed made of stern stuff and in fact bated me to 'bring it on'

So, just in case anybody thought we were all equally important in MNHQ's eyes, we are not. The Stalwart is more equal.

BBBee Tue 23-Dec-08 21:13:53

no it wasn't cruel - i am very good friends with the person and it was a kind of 'oh isn;t this silly'thing because it was - it is - it really is.

now i am really sad because it is going to jeopdise a real friendship i have that grew from mumsnet and is the best thing i have from mumsnet.

it didn;t matter.

but now sadly it seems like it might.


DoNotsAntlers Tue 23-Dec-08 21:14:05

<oh and I appologse for the crap analagies!>

inSanityClause Tue 23-Dec-08 21:14:05

'mummiesnet' SEA? Why do you still post on here if you feel such contempt for it?

southeastastra Tue 23-Dec-08 21:15:58

gawd see 20.28 insanity lol

the thread was pulled because mn said threads on the subject would be pulled.

anyway you were very nasty

GoodWilfToAllMN Tue 23-Dec-08 21:20:08

inSanity, mummiesnet is the name of another poster smile

southeastastra Tue 23-Dec-08 21:20:35

anyway who are you liffey? who are all these name changers <confused>

inSanityClause Tue 23-Dec-08 21:21:41

SEA blush multiple apologies and more. blushblushblushblushblushblushblushblush

expatinscotland Tue 23-Dec-08 21:25:44

sorry, folks.

RL interfering here.

BIL lost his job in the HBOS/Lloyds TSB merger.

Thankfully, he got a temp contract with another company.

The ILs have sold their home and are thankfully looking to buy through there, where we can look after them better. BIL lives with them, he'll be working in Glasgow. They can't afford the bungalow with driveway they need in their native city. That's how life is sometimes.

Now just to get all the other stuff sorted, just trivial things like the IL's healthcare and FIL's half-dead SIL shifted and all her care.

It will mean less time in the new year on the net to even register people name-calling, but that's no bad thing.

So here's a little christmas carol for people who truly have nothing better to do than stalk re-label an utter no-count loser like me.

Merry Xmas!


LiffeyanFiaRua Tue 23-Dec-08 21:27:02

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

expatinscotland Tue 23-Dec-08 21:29:27

'Maybe she'll crank it down a notch or two, and if she does that'd be great for everybody, not just mumsnet but for her too. I don't think mumsnet is a place to say 'bring it on' when you've nothing in particular you want to argue about. Just 'bring it on' full stop.. Horrible. '

Keep dreaming, Liffey.

But hey ho. Some people, if you give them enough rope . . .

bananaknickers Tue 23-Dec-08 21:30:57

This is so sad sad

I will put my bit in too - I never really contribute to this sort of thing, but this has been apart of my life for so many years.I have not always posted under this name and have posted some very personal stuff. I have had huge support and made a couple of lovely friends and I am gratful.I changed my posting name around three years ago.

I have read some of the names on the Moldie thing and I am not familiar with lots of them. I am unsure whether it is a how long you have been here or who you know. Obviously, I was not invited to join, but I don't post as much as lots of you and I am not a regular poster.

However, I can completly understand why some posters want to post without fear of being outed by people in real-life.I don't post as much as I did because of this reason.I know it is selfish.

Unfortunatly, I think this site has changed a great deal in the last couple of years. It has had a huge amount of interest from the media of late. Before it almost felt like it was 'my little secret' and now it's in the paper and even on the T.V all the time. I don't post about personal stuff anymore.I tend not to post that much because of all the fights on here.

This was a freindly site to be a part of and we all trusted each other. How can we get that back?. There are still some wonderful posters I still recognise and I am glad you are all still posting.

I think that HQ need to of stepped in a long time ago and put these things right and not make it so easy for these things to happen. This is a site unlike any I have ever known , where people speak from the heart and are vunerable.We all forget it's the internet, don't we?

god I waffle! I am on noones side. I am just sad it's happened .

Hulababy Tue 23-Dec-08 21:31:34

Hope next year proves better than recent times then expat - sound slike your family have had some tough times recently. Hope it sorts itself out and the move proves successful.

LiffeyanFiaRua Tue 23-Dec-08 21:33:33

Yes a sillly day dream! why would you be nicer? What would be the point of that!?

holidaywonk Tue 23-Dec-08 21:33:37

MN said they were going to pull new threads, not existing ones.

I think they're getting a bit too happy with the delete button myself - but that's their prerogative I guess.

holidaywonk Tue 23-Dec-08 21:34:28

liffey is a long-term poster who changes name regularly for good RL reasons.

LiffeyanFiaRua Tue 23-Dec-08 21:35:14

Thanks PW.

expatinscotland Tue 23-Dec-08 21:35:19

Hula, I just hope you and yours are having a GREAT Xmas! You were on some of my original threads, I'll never forget how sweet you always are, and what great work you are doing. I hope it is satisfying .

I'll not leave MN because of people like you.

StealthPoHoHoHo Tue 23-Dec-08 21:35:56

DNA I felt like that. Then I realised that MN, the dregs that are left hmm are not the people I have issue with - they are as fantastic as ever.
The problem has sorted itself out in effect, and I plan to stay, knowing that the people who consider me and people like me beneath them won't be bothering to talk to me anyway.

Hulababy Tue 23-Dec-08 21:36:17

bananaknickers - it will return to that, It generally does on MN. Every so often these things happen. Things change and resettle and move on. As I said before I do sometimes hanker after the old days here, but I think the main change is me rather than MN TBH. The last 15 months or so have been pretty tough health/emotionalwise and I think that has contributed rather han mN changing too much.

The thin I do find hard to get round though is thaat I am now convinced that people I know in RL are probably members of this new forum, people who I thought I was friendly with, people who have spoken to about sensitive personal stuff, people I thought I could trust enough to do that....but now I find myself ina strange position as to whether or not I can really rely on such people. And I don;t even knwo if they are a member of the new forum, it is just my 'suspicions. I think I'd rather just know, so that now that my head is coming out of the big fog it has been in over the past year or more, I can decide if there are people I shouldn;t worry about rebuilding friendships and ties with.

Piffle Tue 23-Dec-08 21:36:32

I guess it depends on how you communicate with someone liffey
Expat has showed me much kindness and I hold her in very high regard, as I do some mners.
But I would expect she is reacting rather than instigating.

StealthPoHoHoHo Tue 23-Dec-08 21:36:49

holidaywonk, although I winged about the deletions I bet MNHQ can't do right for doing wrong at the moment!

southeastastra Tue 23-Dec-08 21:37:44

oh right, could be anyone then.

nice to insult someone (just because you don't like them) in a namechange though.

StealthPoHoHoHo Tue 23-Dec-08 21:38:35

but it's OK to do it off board in a place only accessible to the elite?

Hulababy Tue 23-Dec-08 21:38:45

Ah thanks expat. Not sure it is always warranted but nice all the same. And I am sad you feel the need to go; I really am. I miss the old fun days sometimes. It is all just such a mess I hope one day it is sorted and fun.

I have left the prison though, so not as worthy now. Going back to schools, but as a primary school TA part time for a bit. The stress of the past year mixed with the stresses of prison life got too much. I have gone for an easier option for a bit.

Merry Cristmas - have a good one!

Desiderata Tue 23-Dec-08 21:40:34

I've been off for ages. I haven't a clue who or what a Moldie even is ...

Unedifying, most of it.

Whatever it is? grin

Piffle Tue 23-Dec-08 21:40:42

I am agog at self importance of folks assuming all us Moldies talk about is mumsnetters
Fuck me, you'd all be gutted to know the truth.
We don't!

lou33 Tue 23-Dec-08 21:41:38

i was nominated and vetoed, and i dont give a fuck (i had said i wasnt interested in joining)

it's just another forum, regardless of who set it up or how its run

run by people we dont actually know, for the majority of us

faceless internet peoples

StealthPoHoHoHo Tue 23-Dec-08 21:42:29

No, we can guess, assume, wonder, but we can't ever know
That's the problem and why some people are a little annoyed

holidaywonk Tue 23-Dec-08 21:42:42

Yes, I know what you mean Stealth. But I like MNHQ's usual stance of minimum intervention and I feel they're in danger of overreacting here because the situation is a bit close to home. (Not talking specifically about Liffey's post, which was a good old-fashioned personal attack. Much as I'm a fan of Liffey's in general.)

bananaknickers Tue 23-Dec-08 21:42:57

Hula , I remember you well. You were very sweet and sent me some training pants for DD many years ago. I posted under another name then.

expatinscotland Tue 23-Dec-08 21:43:01

That's just it, Hula. I never left.

I posted on here, someone will probably dig it up, that I was having a break because of having DS and my folks being here for a month.

And so I did.

For a few weeks, I wasn't online at all.

No flouncing, no pissed off-ness.


Even now, this is the most I've been on in one day since DS was born.

and here comes all this, EIS, I can't say it but you're a bitch and a stalwart and all that.


Okay, whatever.

GoodWilfToAllMN Tue 23-Dec-08 21:43:35

Right. someone needs to post the short version here for the 8 million who have been off doing their Xmas shopping who keep tripping up over this thread and going WTF?

Or are you just being evil, Desi? grin

holidaywonk Tue 23-Dec-08 21:43:41

Oh blimey Desi. Now you're asking.

expatinscotland Tue 23-Dec-08 21:44:28

Fuck, I can count on one hand the number of people I had a proper ruck with, and three of them ain't here anymore cuz they got banned.

Well let's put it to the vote shall we?

Do I stay or do I go?

Those of you who'know' me - am I still worth having around or shall I get lost ?

LiffeyanFiaRua Tue 23-Dec-08 21:45:38

I tend to communicate in a calm way. I really don't like to use, or read, trite phrases like get a fucking life etc.. Just not my style. I don't doubt that somebody who can be abrasive and contemptuous to the masses can be matey and supportive to others.

IF anybody had enough time on their hands to search my posts then they'd quickly see that I'm definitely not antagonistic or nasty.

GoodWilfToAllMN Tue 23-Dec-08 21:45:45

Oh TALD, don't be daft.

<big lick>

LiffeyanFiaRua Tue 23-Dec-08 21:46:46

Who did you get banned Expat? Was it just a quick word with MN and then they were banned?

Oh Wilf I heart you

StealthPoHoHoHo Tue 23-Dec-08 21:47:31

BALD, are you saying you're a Moldie?

Tortington Tue 23-Dec-08 21:47:46

bit petulant that toys/boys. becuase theres not a one person who is going to genuinely come here and say ( in their real name, lots of shit houses about) "right fuck of then!"

and neither would the sensible people of MN want to be associated with that.

thats why they can't understand why your asking that question of MN - and not asking yourself re: moldies.

free country and all that - do what you like

WhatFreshMistletoeIsThis Tue 23-Dec-08 21:48:04

Can I just point out that as far as I can make out, MNHQ pulled that thread because they had politely asked people on it twice to stop posting there and all post on one thread (this one), and people kept posting anyway.

So they pulled it. Fair enough. Nothing to do with anything anyone said.

southeastastra Tue 23-Dec-08 21:49:06

there are people on here that i don't paricularly like and am sure there is no-one that likes everyone. and i'm pretty sure tons hate me. grin

yet i do not post my gripes about them.

Desiderata Tue 23-Dec-08 21:50:07

I'm more the capable of evil <twirls moustache), but I genuinely don't know what Moldies are.

What does the acronymn stand for? Mumsnet Oldies???

It all sounds like a bag of bellends to me, whatever.

tortoiseshellWasMusicaYearsAgo Tue 23-Dec-08 21:50:59

Actually custardo, that's precisely what someone said to me this afternoon. In their real name as far as I can see. I think the words were 'Fuck off back to Moldies.'

I would genuinely like to say I hope everyone has a good Christmas - this is going to be my last MN post, at least for a while, and I do hope everyone manages to have a lovely Christmas.

PeachyBidsYouNadoligLlawen Tue 23-Dec-08 21:51:03

yep, mn oldies

LiffeyanFiaRua Tue 23-Dec-08 21:51:03

As a rule I certainly wouldn't do that either. I am not intending to continue doing it.

Custy am not petulant, please don't think that. I feel so upset about all of this.

I never ever thought about the consequences, I was just so glad to refind some mates who I'd 'lost' that I didn't think about others.

I am so sad that many many people have been hurt, good people, people that I feel very fond of.

chequersandroastedchestnuts Tue 23-Dec-08 21:52:29

But is there anything wrong with pointing out that expat is generally combative given that apparently she was posting the likes of 'bring it on'?

expatinscotland Tue 23-Dec-08 21:52:55

'Who did you get banned Expat? Was it just a quick word with MN and then they were banned? '

NO ONE, Liffey.

I got NO ONE banned because that would require effort and if you really knew me you would know that I am too fucking lazy to give a fuck and get OVER it.

People who got banned because of stuff they did on the board that they extended to off the board.

In fact, I only think two got banned. I know one did because of some other shit that was so far beyond me I only know speculation.

So puh-leeze chill out.

I can count on one hand the number of people I've had a proper ruck with because I just can't be arsed as I am a lazy fuck and have always admitted that and even people like Custy have known that from the get go.

holidaywonk Tue 23-Dec-08 21:53:40

'Bag of bellends' grin


Pre-existing private password-only forum set up during the Gina Ford Wars. Few knew of its existence.

Revived by Twiglett at or around the time that Cod was hounded off MN. Became a place for Cod to continue to post to her mates and fellow oldies.

Most on MN completely unaware of its existence.

New members recruited from MN via practices that would make papal enclaves blush.

Cover blown by Justine Mumsnet a few days ago, apparently in innocence although some aren't sure.

Board is agog.

southeastastra Tue 23-Dec-08 21:54:09

well she is from texas wink

expatinscotland Tue 23-Dec-08 21:54:28

why does there always need to be combat?

why can't you fuckers just get drunk like me and make fucking merry and have a laugh?

do you get this aggro IRL?


Desiderata Tue 23-Dec-08 21:54:48


OK, so who was the cunt with the big idea?

Hulababy Tue 23-Dec-08 21:54:56

The personal insults are bad expat; horrid that you have to read stuff like that. I never saw the posts - I always miss everything big to start with - horrible though.

lou33 Tue 23-Dec-08 21:55:08

bring it on is combative? i read that as an acceptance to discuss whatever the other person had to say, not as a challenge

StealthPoHoHoHo Tue 23-Dec-08 21:55:17


revjustaboutbelievesinsanta Tue 23-Dec-08 21:55:19

Can I just pop up and say that I like expat and I think she is a good laugh?

lou33 Tue 23-Dec-08 21:56:05

lol @ bag of bellends

holidaywonk Tue 23-Dec-08 21:56:34

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

southeastastra Tue 23-Dec-08 21:56:41

and expat gave me some information regarding a close friend of mine, which i am very grateful for.

Hulababy Tue 23-Dec-08 21:58:06

expat -I am taking your advice. Second glass of red going down now

expatinscotland Tue 23-Dec-08 21:58:33

it is nearly Christmas-fucking-Eve and you are fractious.


i come from a place where people draw firearms when they get angry.

they don't shout, scream, get all in your face.

someone all too often just pointlessly gets dead and the other person just pointlessly winds up life without parole.

and it's dumb fucking nowhere shit, as most arguments are.

i didn't even read a lot of these threads because there is no time.

yet it's all pitchforks and expat-you're-a-mo-fo and all this pent up shit.

well, yes, then, bring it on.

let it all hang out if it makes you feel better and you get a better Christmas for your kids because you let that shit just GO!

please, do!

OrmIrian Tue 23-Dec-08 21:58:40

roffle at papal enclaves. Was there smoke?

GoodWilfToAllMN Tue 23-Dec-08 21:58:47

rofl at bag of bellends.

No comment.

they've certainly been a bit, er, ill-judged at times.

shall I do it then?

Some people revived an alternative forum and contacted others who had been around for a while (much MUCH longer than my year and a bit) to see if they wanted to join

Kind of co-incided with Cod's stalker and people getting upset about noise and nastiness over Baby P.

some people who had already left a long time ago found a home, others who were feeling pissed off found they were invited and saw no problem in joining.

so far so good.

MNHQ then posted a blog kind of 'blowing the whistle' on the exodus of the old guard. Twiglett then posted an inflammatory and upset email about this that LOTS of people got very upset by, since it seemed to be saying that it was better in the old days etc etc.

Many, many people got upset for different reasons:

1. Old guard themselves knew nothing

2. Old guard and new not invited

3. Seemed (though difficult to pull out truth from rumour) that some voting and vetoing of potential membership went on. Many many people upset at this secret society business and idea that they were judged and found wanting. This disputed though by many Moldies.

4. Many people further upset by Moldies and others coming onto threads shouting 'I don't care' 'what are you so upset about' 'get a life' etc. Real hurt and mistrust and about 8000 thread ensue.

So. Major car crash all round.

It is in the later stages now. Many still upset. Many Moldies, doubtless, not sure what to say/do. Some uninterested.

Hulababy Tue 23-Dec-08 21:59:11

holidaywonk - personal insults not nice and also not allowed either.

GoodWilfToAllMN Tue 23-Dec-08 21:59:42

Ah. See (as always grin) PWonk said it more succinctly and elegantly than I.

holidaywonk Tue 23-Dec-08 22:00:01

Sorry hula. Was answering Desi's question. To Desi, 'cunt' is a term of endearment.

PeachyBidsYouNadoligLlawen Tue 23-Dec-08 22:00:29

not quite holidaywonk

revived in a selective manner where some were not asked to be part of the renewal
which is where it all blew up I think

however I'm not sure what's going on now, it all seems to have become about ExP which is odd as she is- if I am correct- erm, just one person, no?

chequersandroastedchestnuts Tue 23-Dec-08 22:02:31

Can someone clarify this for me please?

If Twig had deregistered and set up her own forum then why did she come back and start a thread compaining about the MN blog, if she had moved on?

GoodWilfToAllMN Tue 23-Dec-08 22:03:29

<genuine bellylaugh>

'To Desi, cunt is a term of endearment'

holidaywonk Tue 23-Dec-08 22:03:39

She de-regged after Justine Mumsnet blew her cover I think, chequers (don't know for sure).

I'm betting Desi is of the 'couldn't give a crap either way' party on this one.

NotanOtter Tue 23-Dec-08 22:05:02

goodwilf - nice précis

to add - not many mouldies actually seeing that 'they' were actively responsible for the hurt though

none actually saying - 'yes i empathise - it was shitty and underhand and i should have known better'

holidaywonk Tue 23-Dec-08 22:05:07

Oooh I've been deleted!! Never happened before!!

Very sorry MNHQ. Desi made me do it, honest. blush

You BUGGER Desi.

revjustaboutbelievesinsanta Tue 23-Dec-08 22:05:42

I was deleted once. I was rude about Gina Ford.


chequersandroastedchestnuts Tue 23-Dec-08 22:06:19

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

expatinscotland Tue 23-Dec-08 22:06:50

Fuck, it's pretty huge is Desi comes on the thread!

Hulababy Tue 23-Dec-08 22:06:52

Congratulations on your first deleted post You will definitely be on the invited list next time grin

revjustaboutbelievesinsanta Tue 23-Dec-08 22:06:52

(starts "we were rude about Gina Ford" clique)

revjustaboutbelievesinsanta Tue 23-Dec-08 22:07:25

Actually now i think about it I think it was something my MOTHER said about Gina Ford...

holidaywonk Tue 23-Dec-08 22:07:27

Hey! I was on the invited list this time! wink

Hulababy Tue 23-Dec-08 22:08:26

Ah, but to which secret forum grin wink Who saus there isn;t another, more special one for those with deleted posts only?

revjustaboutbelievesinsanta Tue 23-Dec-08 22:08:50

You're not on MY invited list holidaywonk. Not unless you can prove you were mean about Gina Ford.

GoodWilfToAllMN Tue 23-Dec-08 22:08:59

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

Hmmm NAO I can think of something else underhand and shitty, can't you ??

TWINSETinapeartree Tue 23-Dec-08 22:10:12

You going back to schools is a choice I didn't think I would see you make Hula, I hope it will be a happy move for you. I am sorry things have been hard for you, education in any setting can be tough. I agree with expat that you are one of the lovelies on mumsnet, I have never seen you be anything but supportive to anyone on here.

Expat I am so sorry to hear the news about your BIL, if anyone deserves a break it is you.

I hope we do see you dropping in from time to time, I often need people like you to shake some sense into me and stop my endless navel gazing. smile

holidaywonk Tue 23-Dec-08 22:11:22

Oh I'm sure I can come up with something...

<huge red alert button starts pulsing at MNHQ>

NotanOtter Tue 23-Dec-08 22:12:28

err no?

Hulababy Tue 23-Dec-08 22:12:53

Twinset - me nether. But I have been helping voluntary in DD's school 1 day a week since last Easter and 3 days since September. Gave me a lot of confidence back. So applied for a L3 part time TA job in a local state pinfant school, got an interview and got the jo. I actually handed my notice in at the prison just the day before I got the interview invitation. So handed notice in and 4 days later had a new job I have loved being in class with the little ones so fingers crossed this works out - will be Y1 children and really looking forward to it.

roisin Tue 23-Dec-08 22:13:07

and I always like looking at Hula's gorgeous photos of her beautiful dd smile

Milliways Tue 23-Dec-08 22:13:20

Look at what I have dug out from the Golden Moldie age! Wonderful!

GoodWilfToAllMN Tue 23-Dec-08 22:13:35

Any minute now, PWonk, armed MI6 agents are gonna start crashing through your windows á la Spooks for mentioning her.

StopSittingOnTheTinselPlease Tue 23-Dec-08 22:13:58

I've posted on these threads a bit already, particularly at the beginning. To refresh my credentials I am 18 monthish Mner, regular name-changer for privacy reason so expect no one to know me.... My view was it did all seem a bit shit on those left out, I could understand their hurt and the moldies hadn't really come up with anything much to elicit sympathy for their position...

Soo, I've naturally been following and I do want to say, though I'm sure it won't be appreciated wink..

expat, I've seen your name but never realy attributed a "personality" to you, iyswim. However tonight I'm sorry to say you are coming across quite badly. I'm sure you'll think me patronising, and I'm sorry it's not meant that way, but you really seem to be looking for a fight.

If you are then ok, we all know where we stand and will watch out for your metaphorical/virtual firearms but if you've maybe just got shit going on in your life (as you've posted) and are taking those stresses out on others then you might like to think about whether continuing an internet ruck with strangers will actually make you feel any better about other things tomorrow or the next day. smile

Hulababy Tue 23-Dec-08 22:14:41

Twinset - TBh the main stresses have been the emotional stuff ecause of thehormone treatment after my ops and the Clomid side effects, and the lack of success. Just a prison life doesn't really provide the right environment when feeling so low. But the fog is lifting; last Clomid month this month so feel like the numbness from the hormones is finally lifted a bit.

morningpaper Tue 23-Dec-08 22:15:16

Matt Lucas


<dog shit flies through letterbox>

Hulababy Tue 23-Dec-08 22:15:44

Roisin. Anyway, I won;t be going anywhere. I like the Mn distractions every so often I don;t think my laptop would allow Mn not to appear on screen after so many years, lol!

holidaywonk Tue 23-Dec-08 22:16:06

I can't do it. Two deleted posts in one day would be unthinkable.

TWINSETinapeartree Tue 23-Dec-08 22:16:16

Don't underestimate the effect going for the "easier" option will have on your life. I have given up teaching in "sink" schools as I was giving up to much of myself and my family in an attempt to save other kids. I now teach in an "easy" successful secondary and am amazed at how different the job is and how different my life is.

Roisin I agree how cute were those pictures of hula dd in her first school uniform.

lou33 Tue 23-Dec-08 22:17:18

gosh hula doesnt your dd look like you!

revjustaboutbelievesinsanta Tue 23-Dec-08 22:17:25


remember that is why you have to write the roundup, you are tied to Mumsnet forever as a punishment

(actually that is why Justine wouldn't let you join the Moldies because you might have spent less time reading our witterings online as a penance for your witty terrible jokes that caused all that fuss)

why am I commenting here again, is it cos I have had beer?

NotanOtter Tue 23-Dec-08 22:17:30

hula wow ! i think the last time i looked at your lovely dd she was just about to start school! she certainly is well travelled!

GoodWilfToAllMN Tue 23-Dec-08 22:18:10

<clinks glasses with many others>

Hulababy Tue 23-Dec-08 22:18:11

Glad your new job is making life a bit easier for you. I am all for easier option right now

southeastastra Tue 23-Dec-08 22:18:18

well a personal attack doesn't exactly put people in a forgiving mood does it tinsel hmm

it seems this is more entertaining than eastenders to some, i've noticed.

TWINSETinapeartree Tue 23-Dec-08 22:18:21

Hula I would imagine that teaching in a prison is a bit like teaching in a tough school, you can do it if everything else in your life is good, but when something upsets that balance it is almost impossible to have the strength to cope at work.

revjustaboutbelievesinsanta Tue 23-Dec-08 22:18:59

Sorry, hula, am I missing something, are you in prison?

chequersandroastedchestnuts Tue 23-Dec-08 22:19:16

Actually I'm going to ask to have my 22:06 post deleted as the HQ obviously have enough crap to deal with right now.

It was also an uncharitable thought.

revjustaboutbelievesinsanta Tue 23-Dec-08 22:19:38

blush oh, OK, you TEACH in a prison

(was wondering how you had internet access)

Hulababy Tue 23-Dec-08 22:19:59

Just a bit lou.

NAO - that's a bit ago now. She is into Y2 now and don't I know it! wink

Anyway, didn't mean to post all my woes. I try and keep all that stuff off here much as possible, this is my retreat where life is rosy hmm lol

morningpaper Tue 23-Dec-08 22:20:05

oooh sorry justa

<purrs loudly and jumps back onto Justine's lap>

TWINSETinapeartree Tue 23-Dec-08 22:20:43

Hula is actually a big name in the criminal underworld you know,hence the long prison visits.

revjustaboutbelievesinsanta Tue 23-Dec-08 22:20:52

you stay there or you'll go into Hulababy's prison

what do you teach Hula?

Hulababy Tue 23-Dec-08 22:21:01

lol rev - yes, I was doing some advice and guidance work IN a prison. I wasn't actually IN prison myself. The thought of no internet fr that length of tie <shudder> Enough to keep me from crime that's for sure!

morningpaper Tue 23-Dec-08 22:21:34

Hula killed a man with her bare hands

revjustaboutbelievesinsanta Tue 23-Dec-08 22:21:35

(I do actually have prison ministry experience which is what makes my mistake particularly blush)

oh look no one has shouted at anyone for at least half a page

NotanOtter Tue 23-Dec-08 22:21:41

lol hula in prison!

Hulababy Tue 23-Dec-08 22:22:17

rev - did advice and guidance, not teaching there. Was a secondary school teacher for over 9 years previously, taught ICT. Now about t strart being a TA in a Y1 class. I like change, lol

expatinscotland Tue 23-Dec-08 22:22:36

twinset, man, i hope your sister isn't still taking advantage of you!


i'd buy that place off you just to spare you the trouble.

did you get the 'safe' tealights?

i thought they were naff, then i saw this episode of 'Inferno 999' and these people had lost their whole house because of an unattending tealight in the bathroom.

man, that makes you stop and think, eh?

TWINSETinapeartree Tue 23-Dec-08 22:22:38

MP dont be daft everyone knows she strangles them with her hula hoop. The cute kid is just a cover.

StopSittingOnTheTinselPlease Tue 23-Dec-08 22:23:06

I said I was aware I may be coming across as patronising, I'm sorry if that was the case, with only words at my disposal and after a botle few drinks it's often difficult to get the inflection right.

I was actually expressing concern for expatinscotland. Whilst thinking, in the words of chequersandroastedchestnuts who's post is above my message window as I type that she may feel she has "enough crap to deal with right now"

Hulababy Tue 23-Dec-08 22:23:07

mp - there have been times with some of my clients that I felt like it, and that was just in the secondary schoo; I was at before prison!!!

morningpaper Tue 23-Dec-08 22:23:52

sorry just got ALL EXCITED after watching Survivors

StopSittingOnTheTinselPlease Tue 23-Dec-08 22:24:26

oh and rev I was sorry to hear your revelation on ana earlier thread. I wa trying to stay away from the subject hence not posting but sad

PS think you've been great on these threads.

onebatmotherofgoditschilly Tue 23-Dec-08 22:24:47

<sits on hands>
aaaaaark. I'm so sorry, I can't stop myself. I'm finding it very frustrating that some Moldies are claiming that there is hurt and pain on either side. And that others are shaking their heads in sadness as they say 'well.. I'm sad that you're making it impossible for me to be on MN. But so be it'.

All this stuff began with something. Yes, there has been anger and rudeness from non-MOldies. But crucially, that was precipitated by the existence of Moldies.

Person 1: <behaves badly>
Person 2: Fucking Hell! You just behaved really badly!
Person 1: <cowers> stop shouting at me! You're making me really upset!

It's just not right, and it's not going to bring us forward. I really, really would like to put this in the past, but honestly, honour will not allow me to do so if this whole matter becomes spun as a bit of a to-do, a misunderstanding in which both sides had hurt feelings and didn't behave very well. It has to be acknowledged that one side chose a course of action which hurt the other.

I know that some individuals have done so - but as soon as they do, another Moldie is along to post more in sadness than in anger, and it's driving me crazy.

Disclaimer: this refers to the other threads. The issue may have been tackled and resolved on this thread, in which case, I apologize. I have <hollow laugh> been locked out of my house with £150 worth of unrefrigerated Christmas shopping. For 9 hours. With the children. It's been.. backbone-building.

TWINSETinapeartree Tue 23-Dec-08 22:25:36

I haven't got the safe tealights yet, will get some when I get paid.

My sister is now paying more rent, I really do wish someone would buy my house.

Gosh I leave tealights lit all over my house. The most stupid thing I did was playcards by tealight in a tent. We got distracted by some lovemaking and then fell asleep then woke up to see a small fire in our tent. if we had woke a few seconds later we would have been killed. I insisted that dp put out the fire in silence as I was so embaressed at how idiotic it was. No one noticed but to this day we have a hole in our groundsheet and a hole in our table.

morningpaper Tue 23-Dec-08 22:26:13

Person 1: <behaves badly>
Person 2: Fucking Hell! You just behaved really badly!
Person 1: <cowers> stop shouting at me! You're making me really upset!


that sounds like my whole marriage TBH

morningpaper Tue 23-Dec-08 22:26:39

> We got distracted by some lovemaking


GoodWilfToAllMN Tue 23-Dec-08 22:26:50

I'm going to make a serious comment now.

The bit I don't understand is why people don't get others' anger (ie the need to go on the attack). And on both 'sides' (though I hate that phrase)

People who feel betrayed (and they do, whether individuals understand that or not) need to be allowed to kick off and vent and be rude for a bit. Once they have done this, they will calm down. But they need their anger acknowledging otherwise they will just continue to feel belittled.

This is the only way reconciliation will happen.

And over in the Moldies, they too need to be allowed their feelings, even if they do seem to some people to be 'at fault'. Many if not most made a natural, and rational decision to join a group that made sense to them. It was misguided from the perspective of 'over here'. Perhaps. But not to them. Doesn't make it right or good. But it is probably what happened: sins of omission rather than comission.

So to Moldies, to come back here and be utterly personally rejected or criticised, what else is there for them to do but be either thoughtful and conciliatory (as Aitch, onebat, swedes and others who have been and returned etc have been) or be defensive.

Point is some moldies are on the offensive because there is no face-saving alternative while people are so angry. It is basic human interaction rules to minimize shame by making out you made a sane decision; you wouldn't naturally or automatically say, yes I was wrong without a fight.

morningpaper Tue 23-Dec-08 22:26:58


I think Survivors has made me hysterical

southeastastra Tue 23-Dec-08 22:27:07

person 3 wallows and gloats in it

Hulababy Tue 23-Dec-08 22:27:09

Oh no onebat - how? why? how did you get in?

revjustaboutbelievesinsanta Tue 23-Dec-08 22:27:22

I think secondary school is much worse than prison.

If someone pisses you off in prison you can have them sent to the seg, you can push a panic button and everything.

If someone pisses you off in secondary school you just wait for them to sue you or accuse you ofchild abuse.

Is morningpaper making false accusations AGAIN? Now it will be on Channel 4 news "Rspectable prison guidance officer is hurt and considering legal action after being accused of strangling someone with her bare hulahoop"
morningpaper says "it was just a joke, please take advice from your health visitor if you are thinking of strapping yourself to a hulahoop and going off to the Lebanon..."

(hopes that isn't too close to the mark, and wonders if she will get a second post deleted)

TWINSETinapeartree Tue 23-Dec-08 22:27:35

Bloddy hell onebat is all your food OK? Forget the kids do you have christmas dinner?

revjustaboutbelievesinsanta Tue 23-Dec-08 22:28:25

Stopsitting - just seen your post. Thank you.

Onebatmother - that's more backbone than any mother should need to build.

morningpaper Tue 23-Dec-08 22:28:47

My children keep WAKING UP

I think they've been on some sort of bloody Santa Night-Watch duty for the last week


Hulababy Tue 23-Dec-08 22:30:09

rev - I agree entirely. The secondary school I was in before the prison was definitely much much worse. Which is why I left to go to the prison! To be fair though, the first school I worked at was lovely.

GoodWilfToAllMN Tue 23-Dec-08 22:30:40

That wasn't directed at you obv Onebat (cross-posts) but see we have different views.

I don't think, FWIW, fault finding is going to help at this point in time. I think the Moldies need to come back and they won't if we continually point out their moral weaknesses. Because most of the good guys made no 'choice' as such. Most just didn't think enough (surely?)


Tinker Tue 23-Dec-08 22:32:05

rev - who are you? I like your posting style but done't recognise your name blush Don't say if you don't want to.

morningpaper Tue 23-Dec-08 22:33:44

lol why does no one recognise the rev? she's been around for yonks and everyone keeps saying WHO ARE YOU?


ruty Tue 23-Dec-08 22:34:34

ooh, ooh, i mentioned you justa did you see my post? [crawl]

Onebat. 9 Hours? with shopping? How? This is all making me feel much better about my messy house and uncontrollable children so tell me more please.

ruty Tue 23-Dec-08 22:35:42

God I sound so pathetically middle class.

Quattrocento Tue 23-Dec-08 22:36:26

Lo everyone. I've had a blissfully mould-free day. Good to see you Expat.

morningpaper Tue 23-Dec-08 22:36:42

yes but at least your children are not locked in the garden

expatinscotland Tue 23-Dec-08 22:36:51

Damn, twinset, don't do that anymore with real tealights!

I used to know a gal called Chantal Maudit. She was fun and like another person I knew, Monica, she was so inspiring to climb with.

But Chantal she died from carbon monoxide poising from unattended fire.

It's horrible.

However naff people say 'safe' tealights are they can go fuck themselves because unless you are going to guaranteed be in the same room they are the best!

And now you can even get short and tall pillar candles taht are battery-operated, the tall ones will run off rechargeable AA batteries for the environmentally-friendly, and even tapers that are safe.

Go there!

So worth it.

Nothing like a bath surrounded by safe 'candles', IMO.

Fire department came by one time when we were in our last flat and were most impressed .

ruty Tue 23-Dec-08 22:37:11

MP did you notice i was thinking about you ice skating yesterday and in my head you were Doris Day with a furry muff? I have been following you around all day trying to tell you.

morningpaper Tue 23-Dec-08 22:39:29

lol but what happens if there's a giant EARTHQUAKE and all your battery operated candles fall in the bath and ELECTROCUTE YOU?

expatinscotland Tue 23-Dec-08 22:39:50

Quatto, it is equally good to 'see' you, too.

I hope you have delegated your Christmas cooking tasks, in the most polite manner, of course, and are looking forward to a good holiday.

'Oh, that Jim Williams just shot somebody. Canape?' - Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil

expatinscotland Tue 23-Dec-08 22:40:34

Then I will die far better than I expected, MP, laughing my ass off.


expatinscotland Tue 23-Dec-08 22:40:36

Then I will die far better than I expected, MP, laughing my ass off.


cornsilk Tue 23-Dec-08 22:40:59

Hula how did you get a teaching job in a prison? Where do they advertise? (nosy)

Tinker Tue 23-Dec-08 22:41:01

So who is she???

morningpaper Tue 23-Dec-08 22:41:04

yes I DO keep noticing you banging on about my furry muff like PC Plum with Miss Hoolie

I do not have a furry muff

You can ask my gynaecologist my skating chums

Eniddo Tue 23-Dec-08 22:41:49


at the op

and moldies lumped together with baby p and the mccanns

NotanOtter Tue 23-Dec-08 22:42:46

i love expat! such a crazy life with - a veritable treasury of cautionary tales!